#don't really have the money for an extra phone but y'know

[seawitchkaraoke]

Really truly the problem with internet addiction is that I need it for all kinds of shit. I can't just quit it like I could smoking or drinking and not have alcohol or cigarettes in my house ever*, I need my phone. I need the internet. So I have my phone and need to actively fight not to grab it all the time.

Even worse when I do need to use it to look smth up, sure I can use extensions and stuff to block tumblr and twitter and youtube but sadly the internet (or even just my phone/laptop) is so full of distractions, I can't eliminate them all - like just now I wanted to look at a picture I'd taken of an info I needed but my pictures are also full of recordings of my cheerleading team so I got distracted looking at our past stunt successes and fuckups.

(*disclaimer since this is the piss on the poor site, I'm not saying internet addiction is worse or harder than alcohol or nicotine addiction, just pointing out this one difference. It might be more difficult in this one aspect, obviously there are a lot of aspects in which alcohol and nicotine are much worse (like them actually being physically addictive substances))

[tonycries]

A ranking of JJK men from best to worst during your period (absolutely no one asked for this):

Nanami - Are you kidding me? In what world would this perfect husband NOT be number one?? Doesn't even need that lil' app on his phone to track your periods, bro remembers. He has it mapped out in his brain AND on his calendar. You don't even have to tell him when it starts, he'll be home with chocolates, your fav movies, and enough heating pads to last a lifetime going, "Hi, my love, I hope m'not too early but I got you these." He's never too early. Never.

Geto - Bro has been through the whole process twice already with his daughters. He KNOWS exactly what's going down when you get just a lil' too sensitive, when your cravings become just a tad sweeter. Would lay you down and give you the most soothing massages whispering about how it'll "all be over soon" and "his girl can tough it out." 10/10 is so patient, even has a period tracker on his phone.

Choso - Y'know he's a lil' confused but he's got the spirit. Curses don't have periods so trust he'll be MAD confused wondering whether you've somehow developed the same jujutsu technique as him. When you teach him though, he's gonna be the sweetest babygirl. Let's you cuddle and use him all you want, throw him around to your hearts content until you have the perfect pillow!! Only minus points would be for that little intrusive thought in his brain that just wants to.....experiment......with his technique....

Gojo - Now, you'd be confused about who has the period - you or HIM? Which, honestly if distraction is your go-to then it works out pretty well. Every cramp you get, Gojo just hates to see his pretty baby in pain, so he'd be crying out. He'd be right there moaning and groaning along with you until you're crying tears of laughter because what the fuck?? Extra points because he's a sweet connoisseur and knows ALL the best places to get you everything you want. Trust, bro doesn't skimp out either he'd be diving IN to that Gojo Estate old money just to get you more than everything you need. Much more.

Toji - Now, hear me out it's not that man doesn't know what to do. It's just that he doesn't want to. Not to bully his cute girl, but does he really have to get out of bed and walk the treacherous block down to the convenience store to get you extra pads? Really? He'd much rather stay in bed cuddling you and kissing every inch of your face he could reach - seriously, his old bones are creaking at the very thought of moving. But, eventually, when you do bribe him with a dollar convince him to go, he'd be pampering you and more with your own money.

Sukuna - Bro definitely tells you to "just suck it back in wtf." -3878473 aura for him, but at least Uraume is on your side and gives him a good whack to the head. When he realizes a bit tho would be a bit softer than usual, at least he'll stop calling you his usual names after your sensitive self tears up at them. Mhm, definitely take him to try out a cramp simulator, though he deserves it.

[seliasvault]

The Supermarket

this started off as a continuation for the gym!simon fic but it just became it's own thing

supermarket!simon x reader, cw: stalking, dark simon riley

Part one

1 │2 │3

Simon Riley hasn't experienced kindness, so when you show him some, he goes a little crazy.

Grocery shopping is either the funnest thing in the world or the biggest pain in the ass. And right now you're feeling it's the latter.

After a long day of work, walking around a crowded, loud store was not your ideal night. But having no-anything and little to no money, forced you off your spot on the couch, leaving it and your unfinished show behind.

You've survived, barely, trotting the shopping cart, leaning your full body weight onto it for support, eyes half closed as you wait in the checkout line. The day you’re most drained had to, of course, be the busiest day this grocery store's seen.

As you mindlessly scroll through your phone, a sudden sharp pain surges through your back, you’ve been, of course, crashed into by the cart behind you. Letting out a breath of surprise you turn to face the culprit.

Face still twisted in pain, you see a boy, around 10, with not an ounce of remorse on his face. A little annoyed you turn back, and not a minute later you're interrupted by a man, presumably his father. He makes an excuse, profusely apologizing, and so you, of course, accept the apology, give your classic,

"Don't worry about it! It happens!" and what tries to be a genuine smile but miserably fails.

Exasperated, your head is now seated between both your arms as you wait impatiently for your turn.

When you eventually near cash, another thing seems to be against you. The man in front of you, of course, seems to have forgotten his wallet.

You take a quick peek at the total, 115$, a steep number, one that you don't think you could afford, but the line won't move if he doesn't find a way to pay, and the nice thing to do is cover it.

So you chime in,

"Hey, y'know what it's okay I got it," You give him a soft smile, reassuring him that really it's no trouble. Sure you’ll have to skimp on next week's groceries, but a good deed's a good deed, you suppose.

He doesn’t move, like he hadn’t heard you, until you make your way to the machine does he finally speak.

“S’alright, don’t need them anyway.” He goes to leave.

“No really, it’s no problem,” click, you move fast, the money's gone through, not much he can say now. All you can hope for is he takes the food, and leaves so you can crawl back to your couch.

He turns around, looking at you, albeit a little weirdly, you can only see his eyes, the other half of his face covered with what looks to be a mask, the ones that wrap around your neck.

You pay no mind, averting your eyes to look at your cart, on any other day you might be more pleasant, smiling, maybe even small talk.

But the day seems to just get longer and longer, and he stares for another beat, a soft, “Thank you.” follows.

He picks up the bags, all five in one hand, you stare a little too long at the hand that holds them all, before snapping back to reply.

“No problem, have a good night.”

Was his response a little lackluster? Considering you really can’t afford anything else for the month, yes, but who knows maybe it made his day, you shut yourself down before you overthink the whole thing.

Finally, your turn you finish everything up, and your total's 95$, again more than you can afford, and so you put back the homemade burger buns, bread’ll have to do, and that pasta sauce is given back too, along with some extra produce.

You’re total comes up 55$, a number you feel a little more comfortable committing to, you're handed the bags, and you leave.

You take them out to your car, putting them in securely, and head home.

After you’re home, seated on the couch, laptop atop your lap, mindlessly scrolling through various shopping sites, do you receive a call.

Your phone rings often, at least twice a week with a number you’ve never seen and an area code far from where you are, chalking it up to a scam call every time you’ve never answered, this time no different.

You take a quick glance at the phone next to you, not recognizing the number you go back to the pair of red shoes that were on sale for a dangerously good deal.

Your phone rings again, a little weirder this time as scammers tend to call once and move on, but on the off chance it’s not a scam, you're sure they’ll leave a voicemail or a message.

A ding is what furthers your confusion, and the message itself is what chills your bones.

“It’d be in your best interest to answer that.” 

Was it highly unusual? Sure, we’re you a little scared? Yes, but then again it could always be a wrong number. You had recently changed phone plans, and your number changing with it so really it’s a simple explanation, you do however feel bad for whoever that was meant for.

Your phone rings again, worrying you further but you leave it, if whoever texts again you’ll respond, just to put an end to the dings.

“Don’t make me ask again.” 

A little intimidated by now, your mind starts to jump to conclusions, you haven't met anyone new, and haven't given your number to anyone recently.

You text back.

“i think you have the wrong number”

“Last I checked, this was the pretty sweetheart from the supermarket, was it not?” 

You swear your heart stills, before coming back to life, beating tenfold.

This could very well still be a wrong number, everyone goes to the store, just because you did today doesn’t make you special, probably some guy trying to chat up a cashier.

“sorry, i really do think you have the wrong number” 

Your mind flickers through the number of possibilities, it could be a prank, one of your friends trying to scare you. Though, this wasn't the kind of prank they'd pull.

“You sure?” 

“yes???” 

“Then why can I see ya texting lovie? All comfy with your laptop, I think you should get that those, red suits you.” 

Your head whips around to the window your sofa's seated next to, no one's out there, it’s not possible, you live in an apartment building, 20 floors above ground. The only way he could see you was if…

“who is this” 

You get out immediately, sure it’s cliche but it’s all you can manage, all that comes into your anxiety-riddled mind. You're suddenly aware of every noise and every shadow in your living room.

“You know who it is.” 

“i really don't buddy, just answer the question” 

“I think the better question is how got inside, check your kitchen.” 

You feel like you've been doused with ice water, heart beating so loud it's the only thing you can hear. The thought of getting up to investigate, when he's more than likely to be inside. You guess you waited too long contemplating because you hear another ding sound from your phone.

“Check your kitchen, don’t make me make you sweetheart.” 

Your heart skips, hesitantly you stand, slow steps moving toward the kitchen, your eyes scanning for any movement, anything, ears on high alert for the drop of a pin.

When you finally make it around to the kitchen, you're eyes once again scan the corners, the pantry, and then they fall on the counter.

Sat atop are four bills, four hundred dollar bills, alongside a note.

It then finally clicks into your head, the man in front of you in the line.

Surprisingly neat writing,

Had to pay you back,

See you soon.

Eight words scrawled onto a page. Your mind is overwhelmed with the questions flying through, pay you back with four hundred dollars? See you soon?

You grasp at your phone, rushing to text him, to gain some answers, maybe even report him to the police. Pulling open your messages, the text threads disappeared, along with his number from your call log.

You're left even more confused, did he have access to your phone? When was he in the apartment? Was he still here? If he wasn't how could he see you?

Anxiety overwhelms you, as you stare at the large sum of money and the only trace of him on your kitchen counter. 

[existential-feelings]

(Friendly reminder that everything said in this is fictional, I myself (the creator) am 100% okay, this is joke drama, I am in a stable living condition and everything said besides this little warning is all staged.)

'' So . I would like to come clean about a few things that have been speculating recently . This is honesty . This is going to be me wearing my heart on my sleeve as I talk about what's been going on with me outside of my job . And damn it , if my identity is revealed in the process , I don't care . As long as I give what friends I have left , some closure . ''

'' to explain the . . Images going around , I was staying at a friend's house for the time being . Moneys been really tough for me recently , and I hate going out and asking for assistance with any step of it . He offered for me to stay over , said I wouldn't need to get rid of my cat . . So I took the bait after being convinced . Just until I can get back on my feet and not have debt being dangled above my head . During the night , yes , there was some romance shared between me and the other man , who happened to be a cop . I haven't experienced something like that in years , he was so kind to me , even after learning who I was . I slept on that cops couch , ate his food , you know why ? Because he gave me an opportunity to be in a better living situation until I can afford a better spot on my own . It was the best option I could see to get my pet and myself into a better environment , instead of an apartment building that has a problem with looking clean . ''

'' I never wanted to turn to crime for that extra assistance with rent , but I just could not keep up with the demand for money at the end of each week . I have been working as a cop for the last 5 or so years , I'm balancing that with crime . And no , before more shit starts , I haven't shared , said , or shown anything to anyone . Neither of my occupations really know who I am , and I'd like for it to stay that way . The friends and people I have met through CRIMES are ones I don't think I can ever forget , they're probably the closest thing I will ever have to consider family . And I'm truly , deeply sorry if my actions that night had caused this family to be pulled apart . ''

'' . . . Alright , I'm cutting the ' nice ' bullshit . ' not naming names ' is off the table .''

'' I mean , I do care about this crew at the end of the day , but all this because I actually have a social life ? Hello ? ? Not to fucking mention , you ( you know who you are . ) invaded some guy's apartment security system and somehow found me chilling with him , I wasn't even on the clock . You're actually mental If you think I'm okay with this sort of stalking , , harassment ? ? What would this even be considered . . Anywho , I'd kiss that cloaker a million times over . People are acting like I told this guy everything there is to know about the gang . You know I'm NOTHING like that , for fucks sake , can we use our heads to think ? And y'know , I was snooping around in what files that CRIMES has about me . And , I found a lot of information that I have never admitted to anyone on this job ! Most of it is absolute bull , too ! I'm flattered you thought I had a loving family and got a degree in Harvard . I also found my face , countless times in that whole file all about me ! Ain't that funny , I don't remember sharing photos of me out partying outside of work ? Yet , here those photos are , me in a sparkly black dress . I took these photos on my actual phone , not my work phone . So if this company is so insistent on knowing everything they can get their hands on about one of their best spies , even after I had signed an agreement to only have documented what I approved on , then this company ain't for me ! :) ''

'' and don't worry , I already did you all the favor of deleting the files . I stole a hard drive and input all of my information onto it , you're left with nothing about me , not even my mask design is in that database any more . And y'know , I'd be more than willing to work for Shade and all these other people if a better option wasn't available . I am not on bad terms with anyone who is a part of CRIMES . I'll obviously still be in contact with my friends , that won't change . I do feel bad for whatever trust I have ' broken ' from this , but at the same time , people are gonna have opinions on you no matter what you do . ''

'' this absolute bias bullshit , you have a heister sucking face with a dozer and nobody says shit , but the second a woman goes with a cloaker ? fOr ShAmE ? ? ''

'' I am now working for a much better , human , man that I so happen to be very close with . My inbox will remain open for those who want to still say hello . I think that covers everything I wanted to say , I'm probably gonna quit ! ! 🫶 ''

[daylilifiedsundrewdrops]

Tape Recording #1.

[ CLICK ] Hm... Ah, I didn't know tape recorders were this big... What was that thing they used to say? Testing, testing. 1, 2, 76... ... Good enough! Soo... I should introduce myself, shouldn't I?

[They clear their throat.] So, uh, Hi there, Mr. Tape Recorder! I'm Maricel Mylene V. Rosarinde. Or just Maricel. That should work too. The 'V' stands for Vallenza, in-case you were wondering. I'm a student at Avidenia Willow Institute. Grade-6 specifically. I've always seen my classmates have these like... personal diaries. But! I thought it was way cooler to have an audio diary. Like a podcast or something! Though, I've never actually listened to one, hm.... Anyway, since Tape Recordings can't consent, Let me tell you aaaaa---lllllll about my day and about events at scho- Oh- Shi- [Silence for a couple minutes... Now, it sounds like someone stood up and is now hitting their head onto a pillow.] [Never-mind, they're back on the chair.] ...Haha, sorry, Mr. Tape Recorder. Had a headache for a moment there. Anyway, as I was saying, All about my day and about events at my school. So, to start off! I was late to school today. Again. For the third time this week. But no worries, the teachers could really uh... care less this time around. So, all I got was a slap to the arm and I was good to go. Speaking of being late! I also conveniently forgot one of my journals I used for creative writing while I was rushing for class which suuuccckssss... but it's fine. Whatever. Anyways, so school itself was mostly uneventful. Except for during recess when Nathaniel accidentally spilled juice on Angel's uniform! It was actually funny how Angel got so mad at him. She had to change into the P.E uniform because of it. Luckily, she packed an extra grooming kit in her classroom. She unfortunately could not save her uniform from getting stains, however. [They're laughing through their words.] Anyway, sorry, sorry. So, on another note, the Book Club has organized this year's new readathon for those who wanted to sign up! Guess their campaign's succeeded cause nearly everyone in the school joined. Including me, of course. It started today, and oh-ho, I think all the books in the school library has been hoarded completely. I went there and it was absolutely deserted. Mr. Lauriette was still hangin' by his desk like he always did though. I read only one book today, '' The Second World '' by Sarah Eviernes. Club Leader, Carmelita, announced that the 3 winners of the readathon will have 3 unique, mystery prizes given to them. Neat! I hope it's going to be good like a cat or something. Aside from that, I heard there's a local art contest about to be opened near the school. And I am SO signing up for it once the organizers start looking into our school for volunteers. The theme this time is something 'Magical' and I'm sure I'll ace it completely! I mean, there's like a 5% chance of me actually winning but, ya' know, it's worth a shot just for that small, small chance that I would win! Plus, the prize is a sweet 5,000 PHP, and I want that money. Plus, runner-ups get 700 and people who participated but didn't win still get 100. So, the money's worth it. Now, on another, more... negative note. Another 5 students were reported missing. 2 From our school and 3 from Wilvewood High. It's strange, though. Luis and Andrea were there. They were always cautious and... y'know, stuff like that. So, I don't think they could've gotten kidnapped unless.... Hmmm. Anyway, this is getting waayyyyyyyy too not-so-positive for me! [Sounds of someone wrongly imitating a cough-sound.] Cough, cough... anyways. Let's end the tape recorder off with after-school. I walked home because my parents didn't wanna come get me and it wasn't that far. So, my mom was home early. Guess what! She uh.. cooked dinner for us. Sinigang. But no rice. It tasted salty without the rice, I didn't like it. Though, afterwards, I managed to sneak in my phone up here in my bedroom and of course, this tape-recorder! Which I am currently using right now to record... you know! [Silence.] Gee, I'm- Ow- going to end this off here, I'm having another headache, see ya tomorrow, Mr. Tape Recorder! End recordi- Damnit this is- killing my head- [CLICK]

[oodlenoodleroodle]

However I will take this opportunity to preach about keeping a little bit of cash on you.

I really really recommend to just hide a large-ish note* or two (I have a 20€ and a 50€) somewhere in your wallet or phone so that if you ever get into a situation where the cards don't work or they only take cash, you aren't totally fucked.

I take a bus daily that doesn't accept bank cards or mobile payments, only prepaid bus cards or cash, and I see so many actual adults try to get on the bus only to find that they can't pay for the ticket because they don't carry any cash.

This is one of those "be prepared for unexpected circumstances" habits that are just good to develop. It can also double as a small rainy day fund.

And this might need some preplanning. Like maybe you can't go out to an ATM right now and take out some cash, but maybe the next time you are at the ATM and aren't super tight you take out an extra 20€/$/£ and stash it somewhere separate from the other money.

.

*But not too large, you know. It has to be something that is normal for people to use. Like a £50 is way too big, people will get all flustered like "I can't give you change for that" and stuff. My 50€ is specifically for pharmacy bullshit, because there was a time when their card machine regularly refused to work with my card so I just started carrying a big thing of cash so I wouldn't have to deal with their bullshit. But like a bus driver might not be thrilled to take a fifty, y'know.

Both in Russia and in Thailand it's easy to forego using cash because everyone has mobile banking and it's easy to transfer money.

Reblog and tell me where you are from

[sayakxmi]

[Magi rewatch] Episode 6: Warrior Tribe Fanalis [Part 1]

I feel like part of the reason I'm just UGH about having to do this, besides the obvious stuff I've mentioned 300x times, is the fact that I really want to get to the later arcs, which includes the upcoming Balbadd Arc. So I'm just sitting here. Impatiently. Bc I want to be there already, y'know? Oh well.

Also, I'm considering something a little different, partially bc reading the entire arc, and then watching the entire arc is kind of... Hmmm. It is a bit tedious, I won't lie. Plus it feels kinda weird to just do it twice one after another. The idea is, then, to so it more or less at the same time: x number of chapters, then the episode that covers them. It's both because I think it'd be a better experience for me, AND because the upcoming arcs can get pretty long. Like, we're talking 45 chapters/11 episodes for the Balbadd Arc, it just makes sense not to go through it twice. No matter how much I like these arcs, it's just too fucking long to do it that way.

Anyway, PSA over, time for the actual episode.

Hello there, character who's never appeared in this anime.

I usually don't comment on this stuff, but damn, I wish more characters were allowed to have dark skin in this series. Like, it'd make more sense, like, for geography-biology reasons. But lemme tell you, Ohtaka and geography... Let's just say it's not her strong suit. Have you ever seen how she draws the world maps and the Dark Continent specifically? It makes no fucking sense. The best explanation I can provide is that it's just people imagining how the DC looks, since no one was there, as in, beyond the Rift. They're just guessing.

Anyway. Geography rant over.

In the manga their clothes look more SIndria-like bc of the lack of colors, but here you're kinda wondering. But still, my money's on Sindria bc they specifically mention that their country has no slaves, and the two notable no-slavery countries are Balbadd and Sindria. And their clothes don't look very Balbadd. Seriously, sans the colors, it looks very Sindria, actually. Then again, do all Sindria people have to wear white? So it still makes sense, I guess.

Also, seeing Leila again makes me miss Thousand Miles a bit. But that story frustrated me too much at some point. Mostly bc I've lost motivation for it, but, like, aggressively, and just kept on getting notifications for it, even though I've had some stories I was actually proud of, but nope, only that one got the attention. It became annoying over time & I ended up deleting the story completely. In case somebody recalls that story & always wondered wtf happened to it.

Mor.

Also, really, Mor, bc when Aladdin says it, it's Moru-san, but if you go with Morg it's some sort of Morugi-san. Pretty different.

Also, man, Leila's voice just dosen't fit her in my head.

Walkin.

Now I kinda realize that Alibaba's probably the only one who never met these two. Gdi, he seriously always misses out on everything.

Honestly, I really love the lightning in this anime. They make choices I disapprove of, and the animation can get damn sloppy (and art, too), but the colors are always awesome.

Also, wonder how things would've gone if Morgiana stayed with these two.

"I have to come back to my homeland. I promised that to my benefactor." NOW, MY DREAMS ARE WITHIN MY REACH-

Good moment to put the op with these words.

Honestly, I like the scenery in the anime, too.

Gdi, I seriously miss Leila. Also, in the anime she is the one to bump into Fatima.

Lonely.

Tbh, it does look pretty.

Any time Jamil appears I'm thinking abt Ohtaka writing in these extra papers stuff like "I should've talked with Master more" or that she should've tried to talk with him in general, like, god fucking dammit Ohtaka and her dumb Forgive Everything agenda.

No Goltas? -throws down the phone-

Ok, but we have Leila looking out for her, that's actually sweet.

She's offering her some herbs for nightmares, and even calls her a friend. Gdi.

Like, I get that they're probably making up for the characterization they don't have in the anime, but I'm sending it percisely bc she talks about being saved by Sahsa and a mysterious boy. Which never happened in the anime, lmao.

Still, overall, it was a very sweet moment.

MOON

But also. What is wrong with you, why are you (always) blue.

Also, cool music.

I swear, whenever I see a male character with painted lips, who happens to be a despicable person (I'd have two nickles- finish the line), I'm just like... is it lowkey transphobic or am I overthinking it... But also, I wouldn't put it past Ohtaka. I mean, with the joke about the best courtesans looking so manly etc.

Hello.

He's about to be surprised.

And he was.

Mob vs one Fanalis is a very unfair fight. They're about to be murdered.

Whoosh.

Also, I'm starting to think that maybe Ohtaka just really likes the moon aesthetic.

Listen, it's pretty damn close to the manga, I have nothing new to say, so I'm offering you some low quality Morgiana.

Ohtaka let Morgiana wreck shit she loves it 2k23. Nearly 2k24, Jesus.

Understandable reaction.

Evil birb.

He. He has the high ground.

RIP

WASTED

[phantasy-castle]

January 5th, 2023

Today was weird.

I drank more than I should have last night. My alarm clock goes off. I do my usual thing where I set it for an extra 20 minutes and wake up at 6:10. I wake up. I do not want to get up. At all.

I'll give myself an extra ten minutes, right? Suddenly, it's 6:50. Yeah, boss, I'm not making it to work today because my... uh... car broke down? Yeah, my car broke down.

I go back to bed and wake up a little later; my dad is mad and asks me sarcastically if I'm looking for a new job.

I decided I needed to get out the house so I went to PDQ and then Target.

I saw a few too many Instagram posts this morning that were a little too relatable, especially in regard to my job situation. And then one of the cooks at PDQ was a young girl wearing a UCF shirt. The symbolism was laid a little too thick.

Didn't do much after besides thinking of working out, but not actually doing it. My mom was more than happy to shit on my life choices too.

Y'know, I just don't give a fuck anymore. I fucking hate my job. I fucking hate sitting in a dusty ass closet all day looking at my phone. At the same time, I can't find myself to do anything else because *everything* seems like a waste of time. I'm tired to these moronic teachers; they're glorified babysitters who snap their fingers and act like they're MY boss. No, cunt. These dumbshits can't even figure out to push a couple buttons, or just reset their computer if something isn't working, or even remember their fucking passwords. No fucking common sense.

I get paid $11/hr basically. Having weekends off isn't even fucking worth it. I look at the internet at work; I look it at home. And I can't find a "hobby" or a "passion" to fix that, BECAUSE EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE NOT JUST A WASTE OF TIME, BUT A WASTE OF EFFORT TOO.

So yeah, I'm quitting soon. I'm taking back my old job and I want to try become a postal inspector, if not just a regular carrier, because fuck being underpaid and fuck quirky office culture. I'm moving right the fuck out too. Yeah, sorry I won't be able to volunteer on Saturdays; I'm trying to get my life together because you (my parents, really) constantly suggest that I'm a mess.

I constantly told myself when I was a teenager that I just want financial indepedence; I actually had it for a while working at the shitty-ass PO, but then I threw it away for a job that's fucking more terrible somehow. Well, I mean, it's a job I hear not many complain about; a lot of people relish the idea of not doing shit all day and bullshitting with their coworkers about, fuck, I don't know, how the office is too warm or that Ms. Smith is pregnant. Fuck no, not for me.

I'll get a new job; I'll get out of this house; I'll get a girlfriend; I'll figure out the rest later. Thanks, and goodbye.

I'm not writing off the idea of flight school but I'm probably going to save money for now and at least work a year again.

And no, honestly, I don't feel fucking guilty about calling out for the seventh time. Pretty sure my leave hours were taken away for some reason. I don't care about these smooth-brained monkeys and their collective inability to Google something or call the fucking district's dedicated technical service desk; I just turned off my notifications today because I really, really, really, really, really do not give a single, minute fuck or half of one.

I'm out. I don't care. It's a shame this job turned out shit for all the wrong reasons, for all the reasons I could've not predicted six months ago. It's a shame I feel like it's ruined my life too.

--

I bought Rocky and Buddy two bones today but had to take them away; Buddy does not understand the concept of personal property and he's loud as fuck.

[antirepurp]

ok i think i’ll try to like, make some kind of commission post tomorrow? they’re open now i suppose and the link’s in my bio i just haven’t had time to sit down and pretend to know graphic design lol

[havocskies]

OBSESSION | DANNY JOHNSON X READER PART 1

please please PLEASEEEE keep in mind this is a very old fic i started on quotev/wattpad and am now moving here. this is NINE MONTHS OLD i swear my writing has gotten better, part 2 is already done and part 3 will be worked on. it's quality will be much better i swear.

ೃ⁀➷ You have always been teased about being 'obsessed' with Jed Olsen, a well known journalist that often writes about this killer that has been named 'Ghostface.' While you're only interested in catching this killer and have never thought of yourself as obsessed, a certain killer going by the name Jed Olsen is.

TWs: gore, death, kidnapping, stalking, all that fun stuff. everything you should expect in a dead by daylight/scream fanfic

part 1. part 2.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Each key being pressed down fills the silence of your room, the bright screen illuminating the darkness that enveloped your home. Even though you were a journalist, and a decently well known one, you had never seen the reason for using one of your extra rooms for an office. It took too much money and you never knew when you'd need the guest room. Working in your own room was preferable anyway, despite all of the studies about one's room being one of the worst spaces to be a working space. You let out a sigh, momentarily lifting your hand to rub your exhausted eyes. You could never understand how Jed Olsen, that practically famous journalist, always got so many articles done. You admired him for that, and for his writing in general.

     Writing was your job, and you had to get something out soon, but sleeping and putting your writing aside seemed awfully tempting as your body fought more and more to take care of itself. In one quick action you forced your laptop screen down and stared at the empty pitch black of your surroundings. Sighing, you pick up the device and slowly saunter over to your desk to put it away. You fumble with the cord as you struggle to actually charge your computer, but end up completely dropping it despite your efforts at the sudden ringing of your phone.

     Grumbling especially angry words to yourself you walked over to the light of your phone, tripping over something that you had left on the ground at some point. Taking a moment to take a deep breath, you answer the phone and bring it your ear. There was no point in sharing your angry mood, even if it was 1:00 in the morning.

     "Hello? I'm sorry for the wait, I -"

     "Hello, is this y/n?"

     You pause, your breath the only thing heard for a few moments. You don't recognize the voice, and as far as you know there weren't any people from your job who needed you for anything.

     "Hello?"

     "Oh - yes, yes, this is y/n. I apologize, I'm - a little tired." 

     "Good, good. I'm uh - a big fan of your work. Your writing."

     Despite the considerably odd way of complimenting, you smile. You had never expected someone to call in the middle of the night just to compliment your writing, but there's a first for everything. 

     "Especially on that, uh, killer. . . Ghostface, was it? Yeah, he's interesting."

     "I guess you could call him that. or her, or them. I guess no one really knows, huh? I just want them caught, the thought of people constantly being killed just. . . bothers me, y'know? I wanna make a difference, especially when it comes to disgusting people like that. Who could even - kill? I'm sorry for rambling, I should probably let you go to bed. It's pretty late. I'm a little tired, too."

     "Exactly what I think. You know, you should turn on your light. I can't see you."

     You take a quick breath through your nose as your eyes scan the darkness around you. What did he say? It was silly trying to navigate your room in such a nervous state without being able to see, but you try nonetheless. Opening your door, you make your way to all of the windows in your home first, knowing the doors would be locked. The flashlight from your phone illuminates your path, the phone now put on speaker.

     "Where are you?" you inquire hesitantly. You weren't really sure if you wanted the answer, but talking to the person on the phone was the only thing keeping you from breaking down completely. First window, locked.

     "Why would I tell you that?" Clearly the other has dropped the innocent act, likely bored from playing along or ready to kill you any minute now. Both were equally as unnerving. Now that he was on speaker it constantly sounded as though he were right beside you every time he spoke. You regret your decision a little, but you have to check the house.

     "I don't know." You are surprised your blood hadn't froze in your veins considering how cold it turned. The window in your kitchen was unlocked and opened. He was in the house. Fumbling with your phone to try and not shatter it on the floor, you rush to turn on the light so you can finally take the intruder off of speaker mode and see. "Who are you?"

     "I think you know. You've been writing about me a lot lately."

     You pause for a moment until the realization smacks you in the face and calls you stupid. Ghostface. Ghostface is in your home right now, and you are likely going to be in an article written by Jed Olsen. Why'd it have to be in this circumstance? You are only going to be remembered as a victim of Ghostface. 'Oh, also they were a journalist, but that's not really important.'

     You quickly grab a knife from one of the drawers, the biggest one you own. Considering your arm looks as though it were a small child taking dance lessons for the first time, you aren't really sure if you'd be able to defend yourself properly. 

     “I'm going to call the cops and I'll get you arrested, do you hear me? Even if you kill me they'll realize I'm dead!" You spat, your venomous words simply a facade. 

     "I'll kill you before then. Don't waste their time."

     You let out a sob, half running half stumbling out of the kitchen in a panicked frenzy as you struggle to navigate your own home. The living room. You needed to be in the living room. That way if you needed to you could run to another room or outside, either one. Shakily holding the knife away from your trembling body you glance around, horrified breaths escaping your lungs rapidly. You were going to die in your own home, and you wouldn't even get payed for your next article you were working on. 

     A loud noise causes you to jump and harshly point the knife towards the source. The door. You almost hesitate, unsure of who was there, until you heard the sound of your neighbor calling your name. With a cry of relief you fumbled with the locks and quickly opened the door only to be met with a ghostly mask worn by a man holding a device. Upon seeing him click a button and hearing the sound of your neighbor calling your name again you turn in an attempt to run away, your feet tripping over themselves. You were too slow, however, and he had already predicted your attempt to escape. 

     You try to scream and fight back but find one hand on your mouth and the other around your arms, holding you in place. Regardless, you scream, kick, and throw your arms around the best you can. It does absolutely nothing. You can see his knife grasped in his hand holding your arms to your sides, a shine of light reflecting off of the cold metal. You were going to die, you were going to die, you -

     "Now, if you want to live, you'll go right to your room and open that laptop of yours, got it?" The killer demands as though you don't have a choice, and you really don't. Apparently deciding you aren't likely to scream for help at this point he slowly removes his hand from your face, switching the knife from his other hand to his newly free one. "If you don't, I'll kill you. Understand?"

     You don't think you've ever nodded so fast in your life. Apparently accepting your answer, Ghostface allows you to quickly walk to your room, staying close behind and not allowing you to go to any other destination. Of course he knew where your room was. As you made it to your room you flipped the light switch, barely reacting to the sudden absence of the dark. You had other things to worry about.

     As soon as you entered your room you heard a click. He had shut the door and was now standing right in front of it, not allowing you to leave even if you were dumb enough to try. You hadn't noticed before, but you were crying and your breathing was heavily uneven, filling the silence that tormented you. Rushing over to your laptop, you opened it, looking back at the killer in your room nervously as your gaze flicked between his mask and his knife.

     "Show me your newest article, the one you're working on. Do it for your number one fan." While you couldn't see his face, you could practically sense the smile pulling the corners of his lips upward. You nodded, your fear overwhelming you as you shakily pulled up the screen to your work in progress, placing the laptop on the bed close to the man before taking a few steps away. He chuckled, picked the laptop up, read possibly a few words, and set it back down. Though you had stopped crying, you definitely were in no way, shape, or form calm. You were absolutely terrified, and rightly so.

     "Why don't you finish it for me? I would kill to see what's in the mind of the greatest journalist of all time." He chuckled again, sitting down on your bed and motioning for you to sit next to him. You do, in fear of angering him, and place your laptop onto your lap. While you scroll down to find where you had left off you could hear his breathing directly next to your face as he leaned in to look closer. You couldn't imagine the vision was very good in that mask, but him being so close to you so casually made you undoubtedly nervous.

     With a deep breath you begin typing with shaky fingers, often pausing to try your best to collect your thoughts and put them onto the screen. It proved extremely difficult focusing when a famous murderer was right there, right next to you, reading every single letter you were writing as if it was the answer to life itself. After a while his presence became incredibly overwhelming and you struggled to think, your fingers hovered over various painted letters as you stare blankly at the bright light of the screen. The man must have caught onto your growing fear because he leaned back from your laptop and stared at you, his knife tapping against his knee as he stayed still, seemingly in thought or just observing you.

     You didn't think you could grow any more uncomfortable, but here you are. Eventually you stared down at your keyboard, giving up on the attempt to look at though you were busy. Your entire body shook, your eyes growing blurry once tears began to form once again. He was going to kill you now. You couldn't even think straight, all that had been going through your mind while writing was ways he could and would kill you. You messed up. You messed up. You messed up.

     Your thoughts were interrupted by a gloved hand carefully taking your jaw and adjusting your head so that you were staring right at the horrifying mask you had been hoping to avoid looking at. Your entire body shook as you glanced down at the knife held in his hands. You wanted to watch it to be ready for any attack, but you couldn't help but stare at the mask hiding the killer's face.

     "I won't kill you." he assures as though it would calm you down right then and there. "Not unless I have to, anyway." 

     Your breath hitches and your eyes immediately shut, blurry with fresh tears. You want to disappear, but unfortunately you can't. Trying to think about what the rest of your day had been like you wonder how it had even took this turn. If you had told yourself a few hours ago the most famous killer in your town was going to break into your home and request to read your work they would laugh in your face. You wouldn't blame them.

     The feeling of a leather glove wiping away the tears, new and old, on your face causes you to flinch and open your eyes once again. He was much closer than before, possibly just an inch away from your face. You hadn't even heard him shift forward while you were stuck in your thoughts. Shocked, you try to move back a little only for the Ghostface to wrap an arm around you and keep you close to him, grab the laptop from your lap and place it on his. By the way he was holding you next to him you could barely even move, only causing you to worry further. 

     He hadn't even attempted to hurt you once. Perhaps it was the mere fact that he had hurt, even killed, people before and likely never stressed over it. From what you have heard he even took pride in his 'work', taking pictures of victims and whatnot. You hoped he hadn't taken any pictures of you at some point. He must have stalked you for a while, a few weeks at the least, to know where everything in your house was. As far as you were aware he could've even been in your house before already! You didn't want to even take the chance of trusting him.

     He soon began typing, finishing the work for you instead of forcing you to do it. His knife sat beside him on the bed. Upon noticing you staring at it, he glances between you and the weapon and carefully moved it farther away from him in order to assure he had no plans on harming you anytime soon. The action almost made him seem more human, as if he weren't a murderer that broke into your home and threatened your life multiple times. He seemed almost unsure, nervous that you would suddenly panic and lash out again in an attempt to escape him.

     You stare at the screen absentmindedly for a moment before looking down at your lap and letting out a shaky breath. The killer's hand carefully pats the side of your head for just a moment before returning to its place around your torso, likely another awkward attempt to comfort you. For a killer, you noticed, he was incredibly awkward. When he wasn't ready to murder you at any moment, that is. Though you were absolutely nowhere close to relaxing, you couldn't help but feel more calm than you were before. Even so, you refuse to allow yourself to let your guard down. This was a killer, he can and will likely kill you without another thought. 

     You hadn't meant to, but at some point you had zoned out completely. The only thing taking you out of your thoughts was Ghostface's arm leaving you and him placing your laptop in your lap before retrieving his knife. He pointed the blade towards you, moving it around with small motions as he spoke.

     "I may not have killed you now, but I'll have no problem doing so if I find the cops at my door, got it?" he threatened, clearly waiting for an answer. Your fear returning, you nod and watch him leave your room, likely exiting your home from the same window he had entered. You didn't bother to follow him out. Instead you stared at the now finished article with tired and shocked eyes, barely hearing the sound of your kitchen window shutting.

[minzart]

Idk if this will be good but have you seen scary godmother spooktacular/ jimmy's revenge on cartoon network? Other than that what abt scary godparent!mc?! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they got transported they at first thought they were in a part of the fright side they didn't go to often. So imagine their surprise when the dark mirror said their home didn't exist in twst.

Crowley: *flipping through maps* where did you say you were from again?

Mc: pumpkin hallow!

Crowley: I generally know where all my students came from.. their is a 'sleepy hallow', 'summers hallow' and 'hallow grove'

Mc: *blushing* awe you think I look that young?

Crowley: eh?

Mc: *twirling hair* I graduated college almost 1000 years ago~

~~~~

The first years and grimm reminds Mc of their broom-mates and harry

Ace and grimm: *fighting over last slice of boo-berry pie*

Sebek: *slamming door open* NIEGEN'S(affectionate)

Epel: ah sebek! We were wondering if you were coming

Mc: *handing sebek the last slice of boo-berry pie* before dumb and dumber takes it

Sebek: *blushing* I humble accept your gift

Ace and grimm: HEY!

-----

Ace: OI! YOU STUPID RAT YOU ATE ALL THE FOOD!

Grimm: I'M NOT A STUPID RAT Y'KNOW!

Mc and jack: *whispering*

Mc: the party just started and all the food is gone..

Jack: we could always make grim-kabobs

Mc: *elbowing jack* really?

Jack: we could order pizza..

Grimm: pizza?

Epel: I can go for some pizza!

Sebek: pizza is a groovy idea

grimm: PIZZA!

Epel:*mockingly*groovy?

Adeuce: *highfiving eachother* YEAH! WITH EXTRA CHEESE AND OLIVES!

Deuce: Wait you like cheese and olives?

Ace: bro

Deuce: bro?

Adeuce: *hugging eachother* bro

Grimm: *interrupting* I'm sure this conversation is imperative to the plot, but can we go back to something more important.. like ordering pizza?

Mc: *warningly* grimm, we didn't forget who inhaled the boo-fet

First years: *glaring*

Grimm: *taking phone from mc* uhmm... I'll call in they know the sound of my voice

-----

Pizza delivery ghost: *knocking*

Mc: *opening door* I got it!

Pizza delivery ghost: hello mc I got your 12 extra large pizza's for you-

Mc: hold on a moment~ twelve extra large pizzas grimm?

Grimm: *crossing his arms* I wanted to make sure everyone got what they liked...

Mc: okay.. I'm back.. h-how much will that be?

PDG: that'll be 200 hundred dollars.. plus tip

Mc: 200 DOLLARS!

PDG: *deep voice* YOU COULD SIGN AWAY YOUR SOUL FOR THEM!

Mc: *handing ghost the money* yeah.. my soul is worth more that 200 dollars worth of pizza's

Grimm: *trying to run off with the pizza's*

Mc: *using magic to grab grimm* YOU! YOU WRECKED MY TABLE, INSULTED OUR GUESTS, STUCK ME WITH 12 PIZZAS! SOMETIMES GRIMM YOU CAN BE INSENSITIVE, BRUTE-ISH AND JUST PLAN LOUSEY TABLE MANNERS!

Grimm: *pleading* oh mc! Please I'll do anything!

First years: *taking pizza's*

Mc: oh I know you will! You'll help me plant pumpkins, clean the gravestones, knit spiderweb and help the ghosts! Oh yes, you'll probably have this paid off by next year! Enjoy your pizza!

~~~~

At first mc was a bit bummed because they spend all year getting ready for Halloween mc hope their broom-mates can finish everything in time. Hell they're not sure if the celebrate Halloween in twistedwonderland... until the last week of September.

Crewel: listen up puppies next week is the start of fright month!

Mc: *perking up* fright month?

Heartslabyul mob: you don't know about fright month!?

Savanaclaw mob: *elbowing heartslabyul mob* you idiot their not from here

Deuce: Halloween is super big here at nrc!

Mc: *running out of class*

Crewel: NO BAD PUPPY! MC GET BACK HERE

-----

Everyone: *out in the court yard to see the well was replaced but a giant jack-o-lantern*

Crowly: *pushing through crowd* OH GREAT SEVENS THE WELL!

Trein: that not the only thing headmaster... seems like the whole of the campus has been decorated..

Vargas: there was even a giant spider at the Colosseum!

Sam: *popping out of nowhere* it be the work of some very strong magic

-----

Riddle: *slamming Headmasters door open followed by the other dormleaders* WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS!

Vil: *crossing arms* YEAH! ALL OF OUR DORMS BEEN...SPOOKIFYED!

Idia: Y-yeah I keep tripping over pumpkins!

Leona: I can't nap with out a cobweb falling on me..

Kalim: Jamil fainted when he saw the giant spider on the Colosseum!

Azul: *pushing up glasses* floyd keeps trying to fight the skeletons at monstro..

-----

Ace: h-hey mc do you have any idea..whos...been..what the hell are you doing?

Mc: *pulling leaves out of the oven* the leaves aren't gonna crisp themselves!

Epel: is that blood?

Mc: *stirring pot* yeah how else are you supposed to get a good scare if blood doesn't ooze down the wall?

Jack: WAIT MC?! are you the one who put up all the Halloween decorations?

Mc: you like them? I normally have all year to prepare, but I didn't know you guys did Halloween!

-----

Crowley: *sighing* who would have thought.. outta everyone this would have been mc

Mc: *sadly* so you don't like them? I'm the HALLOWEEN WITCH! they're all fake!

Mc: *walking to skeleton; pushes button* see

Skeleton: *singing* you'll ground, you'll be ate, We will serve you kids on a plate~

~~~~

Mc couldn't wait for the stamp rally. since diasomnia has the outside of ramshackle mc decided to make a horror maze inside. The abjective is to find the basement to give the "monster" (grimm) candy so it doesn't eat you, and get to the end so either mc or the ghosts will stamp their card and you get some of mc homemade treats.

Girl 1: d-did you hear that?

Boy 1: *shaking* h-hear what?

Radio: *witches cackle* HEHAHA! I'LL GET YOU MY PRETTIES!

Girl 2: *running* AHHH!

Radio: *ghostly moan* LEAVE SOME CANDY IT'S YOUR ONLY HOPE!

Boy 1: we must be getting close to th-the basement!

Grimm: *with microphone to his stomach* *deep and loud growl* CANDY! GIVE YOUR CANDY!

Girl 2: *throwing bucket of candy down the stairs* AHH HERE TAKE IT!

Grimm: HEHE! UNTIL NEXT YEAR!

Group: *running away* AHH

-----

Short ghost: hehe looks like ya made it out alive!

Mc: *stamping cards* haha! I hope to see you next time!

Tall ghost: *handing out candy* to make up for the candy you lost!

Girl 1: c-can we take a picture with you all?

Big ghost: *grinning* haha! Sure!

Gril 1: thanks! Say cheese~

Everyone: CHEESE~

Girl 1: #NRC #HALLOWEEN #SPOOKY MAZE #WITCH #MONSTWR #GHOST

Gril 2: that was so scary!

Boy 1: even scarier than the ghost groom one!

~~~~

Mc was spared by the magickam monsters. The maze was getting backed up because everyone was taking pictures, none of them threw candy down the the "monster" . Mc was working on overtime because everyone would take and then throw away the treats they got.

Tall ghost: Mc we need more bags!

Mc: *twisting bags up* huh! I just sent out another batch!

Tall ghkst: yeah and they took them all!

Boy 2: HEY WHERE IS ARE CANDY!

Boy 3: YEAH! WE NEED THEM FOR PICTURES!

Short ghost: *sighing* those ungrateful brats..

-----

Crewel: BAD PUPPIES GET DOWN FROM THERE!

Boy 1: ugh.. no fun

Girl 1: just one picture?

Mc: what's going on here?

Savanaclaw mob: those damn magickam monsters! They've been messing everything up!

Scrabia mob: yeah! They just through their trash everywhere! Making everything smelly

Heartslabyul mob: did I tell you about how they've been trampling and plucking up flowers in the green house!

Ingihyde mob: o-ortho almost b-blew up the school..

Pomefiore mob: eple almost got in a fight! I could tell vil-sempai was on his last leg cuz he didn't stop eple

Octavinelle mob: it's scary one of them kept poking floyd they even cracked the tank he's in..

Diasomnia mob: they even insulted draconia-sama.. I don't know who was gonna blow draconia-sama or sebek

Mc: eh? So that's was all that screaming was from.. sebek

-----

(I'm skipping past some things but the first years and dorm/vice dorm leaders all make their plan to scare the magickam monsters away)

Girl 2: *opening door* shh someone might hear us!

Boy 1: uh.. to late! Look

Boy 2: who the heck are you?

Epel: oh hey.. I'm epel.. who the heck are you?

Girl 1 one: oh.. hey epel... I'm girl 1, this is girl 2, boy 1, boy 2 and this is boy 3..

Boy 3: who are you supposed to be?

Epel: neat.. I'm a vampire look at my fangs!

Boy 2: *rolling eyes* yeah yeah.. and I'm the devil

Epel: I'm gonna tell my makers you said I'm not a real vampire!

Boy 2: go head tell them! I'm not scared

Epel: VIL! ROOK!

Rook and vil: *burst into the room*

Rook: stop me if you heard this one! Five kids walk in to a house..

Vil: oh and?

Rook: AND WE EAT THEM OF COURSE!

Vil: now you tell the funny joke!

Vil and rook: *hiss*

Magickam monsters: AHHH!

-----

Girl 1: *backs up into something*

Idia: *helmet falls off* oh man... my head...

Girl 1: AHH! HIS HEAD FELL OFF!

Boy 2: *opening door to see kalim* ah-

Kalim: *growling*

Boy 3: *slams door*

Deuce: *scraping shovel against floor*noisy...

Girl 2: Z-Z-Z-Z..

Boy 1: Z?

Girl 2: *pointing at deuce* ZOMBIE!

Carter: *grabs boy 1 leg* Hey hey!

Boy 2: RUNN

-----

Jade: oya? Look azul~ some more test subjects!

Azul: they look nice and juicy! Do you think floyd would like them?

Jade: *grabing girl 1* a-ah floyd~ wake up!

Girl 1: *struggling* N-NO!

Trey: *wrapped up in sheets* H-HELP ME!

Jade: *drops girl 1* noisy thing-

-----

MKM: *running to door*

Boy 2: *trips over leona* oof

Leona: you- was it you? Did you steal my treasure? Ruggie get the beast

Ruggie: shishishi~

Jack: *in wolf form* GRRR

-----

MKM: *backing up in to what they think is a tree*

Boy 1: girl 2?

Girl 2: yeah? Boy 3

Boy 3: here! Girl 1?

Girl 1: uhn! Boy 2?

Boy 2: all here... hey boy 1 stop breathing on me!

Boy 1: dude.. I'm over here by girl 1...

MKM: *turning around to see mallues in dragon form*

Malleus: boo.

MKM: AHHH!

~~~~

Hey hey~ I've been busy making my coustme! I'm gonna be a mushroom fairy!

You are gona be the prettiest mushroom Fairy!

[ragingpancake]

Menace 2 Society

Set during any time period when Rodney and the gang are on Earth. Possible The Return era. John's away and Rodney finds out a life of crime really isn't for him even though he's really good at it. ~1600 words. Crack.

Author's Note: a repost from my old livejournal, written for @popkin16 allllllll the way back in 2011.

The alcohol stopped burning several shots ago. Now, it slides down as easily as a glass of water (hold the lemon) so he downs the cheap whiskey and motions for another. He thinks the bartender is smirking as he slides the glass across the counter, so Rodney salutes him sloppily with two fingers. "To," he hiccups and burps. Half the liquid sloshes out of the tiny glass as he raises it in thanks. "T'you. For keepin' the good stuff comin'," he says. Or at least that's what he tries to say but it's possible he's speaking Ancient. He swallows and drops the glass back to the smooth bar top and leans over, pressing his face against the cool wood. It feels good and he wants to close his eyes and just sleep. It's not like anyone would miss him anyway.

He sighs and rubs his cheek against it and then he sighs some more. This has turned out to be a spectacularly shitty day. "Ca'I get one more?" Rodney asks. He wiggles a single finger in the bartender's direction, but he will not be swayed. "Sorry buddy. I think you've had enough." It sounds familiar and Rodney remembers even though he came here to forget. "Says who?" He asks, drawing himself up to full height. It's most likely ineffective because he can feel himself swaying on his bar stool. He'll be lucky if he doesn't topple right over into the floor like Humpty Dumpty and that's enough to set him off in a fit of manly giggles. He mumbles the nursery rhyme under his breath--at least, he means to--as he stumbles to his feet and wrestles his wallet out of his back pocket. His fingers, normally so deft and skilled, feel fat and totally useless as he opens the flap and wrestles a wad of money out. It isn't easy but eventually he's successful. He tosses a couple tens down on the counter. "S'been real, m'man!" He calls to the bartender and sweeps his jacket gracefully off the back of the stool. Well, he thinks he sweeps it gracefully off the back of the stool except he's not graceful even under the best of circumstances and drunk out of his mind doesn't really count. He almost falls, but he compensates and manages to keep himself upright. He's the fucking man. "Smooth, McKay," he congratulates himself and saunters--stumbles--towards the exit. Rodney has one hand on the doorknob when the sound of raised voices catches his attention. He whirls around, but when he stops, the room keeps going and it takes a minute until it stops spinning until for him to see the cause of the argument. A guy who reminds him vaguely of Ronon save for the awesome hair, growling a woman who's smaller than Keller. Normally, he would back out quickly before the giant spots him because this is more John's forte than his, but fortified by several shots of cheap whiskey, Rodney puffs up his chest and opens his mouth before his brain catches up. "Hey!" The woman shrinks back, seemingly trying to disappear under the table as the guy turns, narrowing his eyes at Rodney. "The fuck is your problem?" The guy slurs. Rodney hasn't thought this far ahead but he tries for a defiant slouch and glares. "You're m'problem! Maybe you should jus'... jus' shut up and yell at someone your own size." Had John, Ronon, Teyla or even Zelenka been around, they would have reminded Rodney to take his own advice because how many times had he yelled at poor old Miko over the years? The guy laughs and rounds the table, but Rodney doesn't falter. If anything, he stands--tries to--a little straighter and rounds his broad shoulders. There's a very teeny tiny part of his brain, the part that's going to be pissed at him for potentially damaging valuable brain cells when he's not so drunk, that screams at him to run, but he just holds his ground. "You wanna say that to my face?" The guy asks, so close that Rodney can smell what he had for dinner. It's almost enough to make him throw up. "I said you should jus' shut up." The guy reaches out and shoves  Rodney. The extra force is enough to knock him off his balance and he tumbles backwards into the coat rack. He's vaguely aware of the bartender yelling over to them, but he's annoyed now in a way that has nothing to do with idiot lab technicians. It's a struggle to get to his feet but he manages and this time when the guy swings, Rodney has enough foresight to duck. He'll thank Ronon later for teaching him to dodge the obvious blows and he'll thank Teyla for teaching him how to strike. His fist connects with the guy's nose and Rodney can feel the satisfying crunch under his fingers. "I did it!" He says, mildly surprised at actually landing a hit. The excitement doesn't last long though because he's only served to piss the guy off even more and this time when he swings, he doesn't miss. Rodney takes a couple of punches, but they're nothing compared to the beating he would have received before Atlantis, before Ronon

and Teyla, before John. They've taught him to use his bulk, his broad shoulders and big hands, to his advantage and while he doesn't escape completely unscathed, he's pleased to see that the other guy is no better off. Of course, he has exactly three point five seconds to celebrate before his arms are shoved behind his back roughly and held in place by the cool metal of handcuffs. A bar fight and an arrest all in one night? John would be so proud. And it's with that thought that Rodney doubles over and empties the contents of his stomach on the floor. --- There's nothing remotely exciting about being arrested, Rodney thinks mournfully as he shifts in the cracked plastic chair. He doesn't even get to go to real jail. Instead, he's being held in the processing room at the local police department, staring dumbly at the back of the officer's head. He's slouched down in a computer chair, playing Solitaire. Rodney wonders what it means about local law enforcement when they can't even win at that. He wisely keeps this thought to himself. "Don' I get a phone call?" He asks. His head is starting to ache and while he's sure he's already thrown up everything he's eaten in the last year and a half, he still feels like he's going to be sick. He really just wants Carter or hell, even Daniel Jackson to come get him so he can go home and sleep for a month. Or at least until John comes back. "Nope," the officer drawls and that's the end of that. Well okay then. He slumps miserably in his seat, handcuffs clinking the metal rail he's attached to. He really just wants to go home. Not home home but Atlantis home where everything was good and John wasn't being stupid and gallivanting off to another planet in the Milky Way with his brand new team. Without Rodney. Apparently, alcohol was counterproductive because while it was supposed to make him forget, it's all he can think about. He's pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a quiet click and when the door opens up, Rodney can hardly believe his eyes. "Hey buddy," John greets, smiling lazily like Rodney isn't handcuffed for a reason that doesn't involve kinky sex. "What are you doin' here?" "Bailing you out," John says easily. "And really? A bar fight? What were you thinking?" "I was amazing," Rodney says, smiling despite himself. He goes to stand and then remembers he can't exactly go anywhere, so he flops down into the chair and sighs loudly. "John?" "Yeah buddy?" "Can we go home now?" John just grins. --- By the time they make it to Rodney's apartment, Rodney's ready to seriously pass out. He's exhausted and his face is hurting from where that Neanderthal's fist connected with it, but mostly, he's just so happy John is back that he wants nothing more than to get upstairs, get naked and sleep for a month. This time with John. It's a chore to get out of the car and up the stairs, but when John finally shoves the apartment door open, Rodney stumbles in gratefully. "You left me," he accuses halfheartedly as he pulls his shirt over his head with clumsy hands, throwing it onto the back of the couch. "Big jerk. S'your fault, y'know." "It's my fault you got arrested?" "Yes," Rodney sighs. John doesn't argue; he grabs the shirt from the couch and then steers Rodney into the bedroom and Rodney is positive that he's stifling a laugh when he face plants onto the bed. "Turned me into a hardened crim'nal. S'all your fault," he mutters, muffled by the mattress. "A hardened criminal, huh?" "You make me crazy." "I feel the same way about you," John says fondly. The bed dips under John's weight and a second later, Rodney finds himself cuddled up against John's side. He presses his face against John's neck and breathes in his scent. "Don't go 'way anymore, 'kay?" "I'm not going anywhere," John promises. "Especially after this. Who knew a few hours apart would send you spiraling downward into a life of crime?" Rodney just nods solemnly and snuffles quietly against John's neck. "'M such a menace to society," Rodney mutters. John laughs his horrible donkey-laugh and

Rodney feels fond lips against the top of his head. "You're a menace alright. Get some sleep, McKay. I have a feeling you're gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning." Rodney's already fast asleep.

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[addictofsupernatural]

Spidey Senses (pt. 6)

Peter Parker x reader

Summary: Having to keep up a lie is hard for Peter when you're trying to help him.

Word Count: 3366

Chapter 1 • Chapter 5

"What do you mean finally?! This is bad. Really, really bad Ned. I shouldn't be thinking about her like that!"

"Dude, it's your feelings. You're gonna feel whatever way you do. You can't control that stuff."

"But this could ruin our friendship. I don't want that." Peter whined over the phone as he put his hand over his eyes, laying on his bed.

"Or~ maybe this could all work and you could score a girlfriend." Ned suggested, amusement laced in his voice. "I mean, I didn't want to be the first one to say this, but..."

"What?"

"Let's just put it this way. She's always had a cute heart. Over time, her heart got cuter and went straight to making her face kinda hot."

"Ned." Peter frustratedly said.

Ned gave him a goofy laugh. "You sound like your getting jealous or something."

Peter quickly sat up. "Do you think that'll happen?"

"Probably." He said nonchalantly. "All seriousness Peter, you should go for it. I always thought you two would be good together. There's just something there, trust me. And hey, you two could be the amazing spider couple. That'd be awesome."

"Spider couple." He smiled and laid back down. "You think people would make that, like, a ship name for us?"

"Dude, you could have a super girlfriend. How awesome does that sound?!"

Peter let out a chuckle. "That does sound pretty cool. Okay, thanks for the therapy session. Night Ned."

"No problem. Night." And with that Peter stayed up to think about you some more.

The next week at school went horribly. All Peter wanted to do was spend more time with you, but you kept pushing him towards Liz at gym class and in Mathletes. He felt so jealous whenever he saw you goofing off with Ned. You were a very touchy person, and every warm hug to Ned felt like Peter's arms were getting colder.

When Liz was finally busy, he went over to you and sat a little closer to you than usual. "Hey Peter." You greeted brightly. "Any progress?"

"On what?" He asked dumbly.

"Liz." You said quietly.

"Oh!" He voice cracked and cleared his throat. "Oh. Um, not really. I think I'm done for the day."

"Aw, Peter!" You rubbed his arm. "You shouldn't give up on stuff that's important to you."

He sighed, glancing at Ned's confused face. "Can't I just spend the rest of the day with you?"

You smiled and nodded, patting his cheek gently. Peter's phone buzzed and it was a text message from Ned.

Not Guy in the Chair: Why didn't you tell her how you feel?

He glanced at you working on your notes.

SM: I don't want things to be weird.

Not Guy in the Chair: The truth will set you free 🕊️🕊️

SM: Shhhh

You then took out left over brownies for Peter. He gladly took one as Flash came over, taking one out of the container as well. "Hey babe."

"Don't touch my stuff and never call me that." You closed your container and put it in your backpack. "What do you want Flash?"

"Just making sure you got a hot outfit for the party. Finally gonna show some skin?"

"I do have a costume. Peter was with me when I got it too. We had a lot of fun." Peter looked at you and smiled.

Flash then rolled his eyes. "Really? How could anyone ever have fun with Penis Parker?"

"Well we do." You tugged each boy at your side into a side hug. "Do you have a special trio that would do anything for you?"

He nervously scoffed. "I have more than two friends. Does every friend seem special to you when you're not popular?"

"If you called one of your friends in the middle of the night and told them to come over cause you're sad, would any of them do it?" He was silent as he looked down. "That's a special friend. Now goodbye."

"Y'know—"

"Good. Bye." You pressed, frowning.

"I—"

"Dude," MJ interrupted. "Know when you've been beat. Walk away."

He then did so, stomping away. You smiled and looked over to MJ. "Why do we not talk to each other?"

"Cause you're a loser." She said, matter-of-factly.

Though Ned and Peter have her a confused frown, your smile only widened. "What are you?"

"Friendless."

"Not anymore!" You exclaimed. The teacher then announced that the club session just ended. "We'll see you at lunch tomorrow then."

She stared at you for a moment. "...Okay, I guess. Bye." You could tell that she held back a smile as you excitedly waved at her before packing up.

You and Peter were walking home, when he asked about MJ. "I don't know." You said, shrugging. "I just feel like she's cool. My spidey senses can feel it."

"You say that about everything." He laughed.

"Because I'm always right about everything. It's a given." He chuckled again. "C'mon, don't you ever have intensified feelings about some things or people?"

He awkwardly smiled and nodded, looking away from you. "More than I should." He mumbled.

"Hm?"

"I said I should hope so."

"Well then, see? I'm right again." You grinned.

"Did your spidey senses feel that too?"

"Yup." You both chuckled.

Over the next few days MJ began to directly hang out with you and the boys, and she said that she would be going to the party as well. "I don't believe in stereotyping geeks out of parties, which is why I'm supporting you guys tomorrow." She explained with an almost unnoticeable smile.

"So generous." You teased back, Ned and Peter smiling as well. "What'll you be going as?"

"Oh, I'll be going as part of the impartial generation of today." She gave a sly smile.

"Nice, nice." You nodded contently before Flash came up to your table again. "Holy crap man, are you sure you even have friends? Why do you keep bugging me?"

"Just wanted to see what the new member of the Penis Parker group was like." He then nodded to Mj, to which she didn't respond. He then rudely waved his hand over her face. "Hello?"

She backed her face up as you smacked his hand away. "Leave her alone."

"What? This is probably the most exciting thing to happen to her. It's not like you guys have interesting lives." You and Peter looked at each other. "I'm guessing that's a no?"

"Well Peter and y/n know Spiderman and Spidergirl!" Ned blurted out.

Flash then did a breathy, wheezing laugh. "Are you kidding me? How would they know them?"

"The Stark Internship!"

"Ned, stop talking." You mumbled. Ned nodded and put his head down. "We met them a few times, so we don't really know them or anything, and even if we did were aren't supposed to talk about it."

"Well Peter," he ignored you. "If you're actually cool then why don't you invite them the the party?"

"Cause we wouldn't want to waste their time by having them go to some fanboy's party." You argued, knowing Peter would choke up if he answered.

Flash shrugged it off. "That's what I thought." He said as he left.

The next day you were talking to Linda while in your costume with your mini backpack slung over your shoulder. She was telling you about the job interview she's getting and how she's saving up the money from Tony's watch to rent an apartment in the building you live it. "I'm so happy right now Linda! You could totally be one of those super nosey neighbors, and I would pretend to be okay with it!"

"That would be a dream come true." She said as you both turned your heads to see Peter coming, also dressed up. "Just a few years older, and I would totally go for that."

You sighed. "You're such a creeper Linda."

"And you should loosen up and be more of a creeper." You gave her a look, and she only shrugged. "Just saying. Press on and go for it."

"Hey guys." Peter greeted with a smile. "Everything okay?"

"Yup!" You hopped off the steps you were sitting on. "Let's go."

"Okay. Bye Linda." Peter politely waved.

"Don't acknowledge her Peter, it makes her weirder."

"Don't be jealous that I'm more fun." She called out, smiling.

Peter chuckled and tried to put his hands in his pockets, only for his hands to slip from there being none. He didn't know what to do with his free hand that wasn't carrying the shield. He probably looked so awkward in front of you right now. This was so nerve wracking.

"Peter calm down." You suddenly said, causing him to jump a little. "It's my first party too, but we got each other. And we know Ned's gonna be there to be a dork, and Mj will be there to remind us how stupid we look. It'll be great."

He nervously laughed, scratching his head. "Yeah, I guess." He then became nervous just thinking about what would happen if you discovered this crush, especially at the party with Flash. "Y/n, what do you see in men?"

The question was unexpected, and your face felt like it was in flames. "What would you ask that?"

"Just wondering. I don't think I've ever seen you flirt with someone." He mentally sighed at the save.

"Mm, I guess he has to be nice, for starters. I'd want him to make me laugh, and care about me. I don't know, that's really it."

"Really? Only that?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing with looks, or..."

"Peter!" You lightly smacked his arm and giggled. "You know I don't care about that stuff."

"You care about your own looks." He said quietly.

"That's different though." You grinned and tugged on his wrist. "We're here. C'mon."

Ned was waiting on the steps, looking up at you two in major relief. "Guys, tell me you brought the suits."

You both nodded. "Our suits aren't party tricks." You said. "This feels way too wrong."

"Yeah, I'm with y/n. Those suits are worth way too much to use for something like this." Peter added.

"Only for a few minutes. This is our chance for Flash to stop messing with us." Ned whined.

You huffed. "Okay, but only if Flash is being extra annoying."

The three of you walked inside and saw Flash trying to be a DJ, playing some basic techno music. He saw the three of you, and brought out his mic. "Hey Penis Parker, where's your superhero friends? That's not Spiderman, that's Ned in a onesie."

People began laughing, and you pursed your lips. "I'll be right back."

You left and went behind a building, opening your backpack and quickly changing into your hero outfit. You took a deep breath, and was about to swing in when you got a call from Peter.

"Dude, tell me she's doing it." You could hear Ned say.

"I don't know, I'm gonna ask her. Y/n?"

"Yeah?" You laughed out.

"Did you really put it on?"

"Yeah. Are you gonna join me or do you just want me to do it?"

"This doesn't feel right."

"Peter doesn't know what he's saying." Ned called out in a child-like tone.

"Ned's being mean to me." Peter responded in the same tone.

You giggled. "Look guys, I don't feel great about it, but Flash needs to be knocked down a peg. It hurts to see him treat you guys like crap. This is just gonna be a one time thing, right?"

"Right." Peter confirmed.

Ned remained silent, but Peter nudged him. He huffed. "Right."

"Okay, I'll be down in a bit." You then ended the call.

"So, I've been meaning to ask," Ned said. "But why does y/n still think you like Liz? I thought you were gonna tell her yesterday."

"I didn't know how to tell her the truth! I panicked!"

"You're hopeless." Mj said as she walked up to the two boys. "What happened to y/n?"

"She went to go get Spidergirl." Ned nodded for way to long as he said this.

"Wait," She looked genuinely surprised. "So you guys, like, actually know the Spider heros?"

"What was that?" Flash asked over his mic. "Is Penis Parker actually going to bring Spiderman and Spidergirl here?"

"Actually, um, Spiderman couldn't make it." Peter said before clearing his throat awkwardly. "But Spidergirl said she'd make an appearance."

Flash obnoxiously laughes into the mic. "Can anybody believe this guy?"

You then swung in. "I do." You raised your hand playfully as everyone began cheering. "You guys were expecting me, right?"

Everyone cheered again. "Oh my God." Flash said in a high pitched manner.

You grabbed Ned by the shoulders. "It's Ned, right?" You asked over the music, loud enough for everyone to hear. "I've heard good things about you."

"All true." He showed his goofy smile.

You patted his cheek. "I bet!" You turned and walked over to Peter, giving him a big hug. He returned it, finding the hug oddly comforting considering everyone was staring. "Peter! It's been a bit, huh?"

He awkwardly chuckled. "Yeah. Thanks for coming."

"Of course! When I heard from SM that the Peter Parker finally had time for a party, I knew I had to come and see it for myself! Maybe my partner could join in next time, yeah?"

"We... Um..." He kept doing his little pant–laugh thing that he does when he doesn't know what to say. "Yeah."

You moved over to look at Mj. "You go by Mj, right?" She nodded. "Y/n tells me you're super opinionated and awesome."

She smiled and shrugged, tucking back some hair. "I just kinda say whatever comes to mind. I don't really think before I talk sometimes."

You tapped her chin. "I love it. Never change." You then clapped your hands. "Now! Where's Flash Thompson?"

Everyone pointed to Flash, who quickly turned down the music. You swung to him quickly and caused him to back up into a small table, awkwardly steadying it. "H... Hi."

"Hi Flash. I wanted to let you know that me and Spiderman keep tabs on our friends, to make sure they're okay. We're pretty protective, y'know?"

"Yeah, yeah. I totally get that." He kept awkwardly nodding.

You nodded and patted his cheek. "I knew you would, so I need you to keep an eye on Peter and Ned while me and SM can't. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, yes I can. I could do anything for you."

"Thank you Flash." You patted his arm, to which he looked at his arm in amazement. "Amazing. Okay, I gotta go. But remember, I keep tabs on your school, so I'll be watching!"

You then walked around for a bit taking pictures and talked to some people. You suddenly felt goosebumps all over and excused yourself, flying out and looking around. You saw a small blue explosion in the distance and quickly texted Peter.

He came as soon as he could and you explained the situation. Unbeknownst to the two of you, Mj noticed Peter leave quickly after you did. She also noticed that you weren't in sight while Spidergirl was here.

"Okay, okay. I, I need to change!" He then quickly took off his shirt and started unbuckling his pants, looking up to you dumbly staring at him. "Uh..."

"Sorry!" You quickly turned around and look off your mini backpack, plopping it down next to yourself. It had Peter's suit folded inside. "That was partially not my fault. You gotta warn somebody before you start stripping next time."

"Next time?" He asked teasingly. "You say it like you want it to happen again."

Truth be told, neither of you knew where this new found confidence of Peter came from to tease you like that. It was almost like he was flirting. You liked it though; it was as if he was becoming more confident and mature with himself.

Your face was hot as you grinned at the ground. "Well, you gotta pay for whatever expensive college you're gonna get into somehow. And I'll come visit at the strip club to support my best friend."

He hugged you with one arm from behind. "So supportive. Maybe the reason I'm a stripper is to support the both of us."

You chuckled and rubbed his arm. "My hero."

He turned you around and handed you your backpack. "This is a cool backpack, by the way. I like the mini things of Thor."

"Thank you." You said, awkwardly taking the backpack. "Now let's go."

Neither of you could get some webbing to hold onto any tree in the area, so instead you both ran across a whole field, looking kind of comical. By the time you two got there this one man was showing another some high tech weapons. You were getting closer to listen in, and it sounded like the guy wasn't interested in what the others were trying to sell.

"Why you trying to upsell me man?"

The other two guys didn't like this, and were slowly getting angrier. You tried to get closer, but Peter's phone went off from Ned calling him. You both hid as Peter fumbled to end the call, and the two merchants assumed the buyer was setting them up because of the noice. In an instant there were two guns pointed at the buyer.

"Woah, woah!" You yelled as you and Peter came out, hands up. "C'mon guys, I promise he wasn't turning his back on you two. And I'm a good guy; good guys don't lie."

"Really, if you guys are gonna shoot at anybody, shoot at me." Peter said with seriousness. "I'm the real threat."

The two guys looked at each other and pointed their guns at the both of you. "Okay."

You both dodged their shots and flung their guns away with your webs. You tried to shoot at the wheels of the car but the man with an electric glove shot at you, causing you to fling back. You noticed that the buyer hesitated to go and help you, but decided not to and instead hopped in his car and drove away.

When you got up they were getting in the car so you and Peter shot a web to the door. The door broke off, but Peter shot another web to the car to have you two ride the door.

"Hey, I got a really stupid idea!" You yelled out as the guy in the back of the van was reaching for a gun.

"Go for it!" The van hit a sharp turn, and you took this as chance to let go of the door and leap to a tree, using your strength to push and dive head first into the van.

"Woah, I did it!" The shocker guy tried to punch you with his electric glove, but you dodged it. "Someone's bitter!"

You began to go on a defensive position and dodge his contact hits and fires in the narrow van, until Peter shot a web at him that pinned one of his hands to the side of the van. He used the other hand to shoot at Peter, blasting him into a backyard.

"I'm okay!" You heard him yell out from a distance.

You slammed the shocker guy to the ground and pinned his hands and feet to the ground. You stood and shot web to cover his mouth as well. "That was a pretty rude thing to do, but I guess two v one isn't fair. Then again, you're are a bad guy."

You remembered that you had your backpack on this whole time, and took it off to hug it.

"Mh. Once again, Thor backpack comes in clutch. Odinson, you can me do no wrong." You opened your backpack and put some small weapons in it, zipping it up and putting it back on. You looked outside before turning around to talk to the man pinned on the ground. "I wonder where Spiderman went. It's all good though, I'll stop the car—"

You were cut off by something grabbing you and yanking you back. You yelped as you were whipped into this huge lake. The water hit you painfully and you began to see spots, seeing a flash of a man with mechanical wings. You almost didn't feel something bring you up.

"Thanks ma..." You looked up and winced. What was carrying you was the Iron Man suit. "Uh oh."

"I have some words for you two."

---

Tag List:

@flawlessapollo6 @them-cute-boys @lunawndrlnd @the-greatt-perhaps @babebenhardy @sofisofi1602 @smilexcaptainx @herondalism @coni-martina @youvebeenlizzed @melanisticroyalty

[frogsandfries]

Real talk

Right this very second as I type this on my phone, a) either that woman thinks I'm asleep or doesn't give a shit, because b) she's across the room basically screaming under her breath. I don't know what about because my headphones have basically become my second ears, but I pissed her off today, for the first time in a few days. So now I'm a queer bitch where's my dick stole my identity of her daughter in Milwaukee, etc etc. She hasn't been my mother since the first time she confessed that she would've left her children in foster care, from the first time she accused us of being imposters.

Real talk. I wasn't listening earlier either, but I did hear her saying something about if I fuck with her at work, she would something something me bleeding out onto the floor.

Firstly, I don't know her.

I have no fucking idea who the fuck she is if we happen to go to the temp agency together, I have no idea who she is when I get out of my father's truck at work, she is some pitiful thing he decided to give a lift to, as far as I fucking care.

Second, even though I caused some overgrown pissbaby neckbeard to probably quit his assignment at this new place, pretty much everyone who I've been working with for the past week or so likes me. The guy who is basically third shift manager was pretty much on my side when he checked in with me about what happened. I keep it real and I get shit done, and I put quality over quantity. This woman who is threatening my life has shown up for two shifts since last Tuesday. She may not realize it, but she hasn't made a great impression.

Then, when we came in today, from work, she wanted to piss and moan about being put somewhere she "wasn't assigned" and someone else "would get her check". Which, if she didn't think she was in the right place, she should've left a message with the agency right away. I would've stayed on the clock and conferred with the manager rather than not communicating with anyone so everyone thinks you're just an asshole. It is beyond idiocy to clock in under your name and assume someone else is earning/being paid your paycheck. I could almost be that piece of shit who shows up, sits on my ass and gossips all night or sleeps in my car, and I would probably still get paid. So that is straight up bullshit fucking excuses. Excuses for her to not go and make a paycheck so she can con my dad into buying her more and more wants under the guise of "pay you back when I get paid".

I'm looking forward to these next couple checks while kicking myself over not putting this all together sooner. But I didn't really understand how solar power worked until recently, even though I've been desperate for months to be back in the solitude and peace of my van.

So I'm holding desperately to as much money as I can these next couple checks because I only need two solar panels and maybe two deep cycle batteries (definitely one for the van, and at least one extra for extra power, to run a space heater and eventually more panels and batteries to run some lights and food utilities and so forth). I'll settle for just heat for a little while, as long as I can get away from the threats on my life that, as far as I can tell are unwarranted, unnecessary, distressing and evil.

Edit: Part Two

You Might Wanna Get Some Sleep Before Work

Or, y'know, not.

Because someone kept waking me up yesterday talking and being disruptive, arguing, and I'm sore like I never thought I could be. Today being part two of a fucking beautiful epic saga of "if I can't get any sleep, neither can anyone else". The waste has spent all day making this choking on a dick sound just about every ten minutes. The production of this sound has been carrying on for about six hours, four of which I've been too exhausted to exist on a fully conscious level and three of which I've been suspended I consciousness by disgust and annoyance.

So I have to genuinely thank the waste for being a self-centered, egocentric waste of my time and energy, and money. I guess I also have to thank myself for not taking some time to consider how it would have been of value to me to get some power in the van, even if I didn't have much else. But I got so wrapped up in doing this what I told myself was the "right way": Gut, insulate, finish, power, furnish. I guess it didn't occur to me in any solid fashion how horrific the waste actually is.

I've spent years and years convincing myself that I was blowing out of proportion my emotional anguish caused by my family life growing up. I'm a really optimistic person, so this was a way of diminishing my negative experiences. I guess I obviously never wanted to think about how few "memories" I have from my time with my parents.

But right now, I'm in the kind of exhausting discomfort that borders on agony and can only be helped with good, quality sleep, the kind where you'll probably wake up tired anyway, but some of the pain will be washed away. The kind of sleep where you get up for some tea, and a couple hours of something that brings you pleasure, before returning to your comfortable bed and coziest blankets.

But I don't get that.

I didn't think to give my van sustainable power to keep myself warm. Because I thought I had to do things perfectly in order. I had myself totally convinced that there was this thing in my van, in my way, and that woman wasn't such an awful waste as I clearly must have misremembered, so things would be fine till the weather got warm enough once more to finish gluing insulation in place and do the van one time, in order.

I'm absolutely boggled by my naivete, every time. Like, how can I always forget that the waste loves to target me because people who are wrong and ignorant turn me reactive. And she is almost worse than ignorant. Because she is delusional, literally delusional, convinced of her own grandeur. Maybe that's why she likes T****..... How could I have thought, oh, maybe this time, she'll understand that I'm only here for a little while and she'll leave me alone. But the second I try to keep myself and my possessions distinct from her, I'm evil. The second she's not allowed to encroach and have mine for her own, I'm invading.

I don't even think of her as autonomous.

Like, she refused to work for my brother's life. She has confessed that she would've left her children in the foster care system. She screams about wasting her life being a parent, but she never left. If she didn't want to be there, she should've left. If she didn't want to be a parent, she should've left. Instead, she stayed. She hated all four of us, but especially her two older daughters. She tormented us. She took out her resentment on us. She is the reason I'm still struggling. Because I tried to take a running leap like I was expected to, but I didn't have both my parents' support, so I took off crooked and came spiraling in for a landing not far from where I tried to take off in the first place, setting me back years. So now I'm trying to take a shortcut to make up for lost time, and she's.....pretty much sabotaging me, actively now because now I'm an adult and I've disowned her entirely. I'm going to begin refuting her as my mother every time the discussion comes up. I'm going to start correcting my father as well, because him referring to her the way he does to me is not helpful. It confuses others.

I don't think of her as autonomous, because I think of her as I would think of myself in her situation. I would be too ashamed of being a burden in her situation. I would not make demands. I would not expect respect or dignity. She has nothing. If I had nothing, I would have no pride.

But she is nothing like me. She is evil and awful. She is held together by pride and delusions of grandeur. She thinks the world revolves around her. The voices in her head tell her she deserves more. Everything around her belongs to her. I belong to her, and thus, my possessions are at her disposal. I am at her disposal.

This is the delusion though, and soon she will be awoken.

Maybe.

I know for goddamn sure, I'm getting the fuck out of here. She is making it difficult, to put it lightly. She makes getting any sleep, to begin, a feat of magic, and it's hard enough to sit all night, but then I'm supposed to be inspecting and cleaning parts all night, on third shift. But why should the waste care? She thought the other day, when the temperature was mild, that it was absolutely frigid. She gets an excess of sleep and thus doesn't have a fucking clue what sleep deprivation is like. She has no idea the agony sitting is/should be. She doesn't need to earn money or have a concept/context for such a thing because she's found someone dumb enough to take care of her.

So honestly, her biggest priority is making sure she gets all the attention, all the time. Even when people are trying to sleep. After all, she sleeps enough for all of us, so obviously, she's the only one who needs sleep.

It has been six months now, since I've slept in any sort of bed.

It has been two and a half months since I have been utterly comfortable while I slept.

It has been two and a half months since I have gotten the kind of sleep where I have woken utterly, purely refreshed.

It has been two and a half months since my van was warm enough to sleep in.

It is time, time overdue, that I did something about this. Because I'm not accomplishing anything when I'm in pain. I'm not accomplishing anything when I need to miss work because I've been dragging ass on quantities of sleep diminishing from a starting point of six, and diminishing further through the weekend, into the next and following and proceeding weeks and weekends. And then the pain seems magnified in exhaustion and stress, the stress from the attention-seeking disruptions of those who see themselves as above all else and all others.

Then I get to the point where I'm having pretty regular emotional breakdowns because I'm terrorized constantly for another's pleasure in what should be a fairly safe space that ends up just being a hellicial toxic place.

So y'know what, if it means I go hungry, I need to take care of getting my van solar powered. I really am kicking myself that I didn't think of solar sooner. I don't know where all my money has been going (probably food that the waste can't eat for me), but if I had started investing in solar during that frigid arctic snap, I could probably have a good four panels and several batteries and be on my way to acquiring a fridge.

[carinavet]

Well I didn’t know what I was getting into.

Arcana is ... frustrating. So for those of you who don’t know, there's in-game coins and keys that generate over time but can also be bought with real money. The coins let you make choices you don't NEED to make but give you extra scenes and stuff (eg go through this door, chase down that guy). The keys unlock actual plot. You start with enough to get through about four chapters, and then they take eight hours to generate. Before I knew about the keys, when I was just contemplating the coins, I thought, "Y'know, this is a free game, I don't mind spending a little bit of money on it. I'll buy a few coins and ration them for some of the good stuff." But because I’m using my roommate’s old phone (I have a dumb phone), it's connected to his email, so I can't verify that I'm him to buy them. And now the stupid key thing's come up and I don't like it because I’ve gotten really into the story and I want MOAR. I already had to go to sleep to wait for a key, and then I read one chapter and now I have to wait eight hours for another!

They've weaponized the concept of "leave them wanting more.”

Apparently a few of the people I follow are REALLY into Arcana right now.

I haven’t played it (partially because I don’t currently have a device that could run it). I know literally nothing about it except what I see here, which basically gives me names and faces, but not the knowledge of which goes with which.

…But the dude with the eye patch is hot.