#don't protect me from myself apple

[nym-wibbly]

I'm now seriously considering buying a cheap Windows 11 PC/laptop in the Amazon Prime Day sale to take up the slack of the basic stuff my OMFG-costly top-of-the-range MacOS laptop can't or won't do. Like talk to my external hard drives without a translator and several mystic incantations followed by a blood sacrifice. Or write to the external drives I've set up specifically for Mac directly from an FTP download so I can download backups bigger than my current SSD. (more grumpiness behind cut).

"There used to be an app to work around that" is the only response I can get from tech support forums. And yes, there used to be. I used to be able to install Windows on a Mac as dual boot if I felt like it, and assumed I'd be able to when I bought this thing. Then M1 came along and an amazing number of things that I used to be able to do on a current Mac, with a bit of effort, became undoable overnight. New and improved!

Apple's tech is so, so sexy and alluring, and manufactured like a brick privvy compared to its rivals' flimsy build (which is why I bought one), but by god it isn't fully functional if you do more than blog and browse using one app at a time. We don't need added AI assistance and stalking, you hear me, Apple? We need the ability to perform basic functions on demand like Windows and Linux and Android do, and talk nicely to other OSes and their file systems so I can move my own data around whenever and wherever I like, 'kay? Play nicely with others or go home, Apple.

[chuulyssa]

drunk and driven. (light yagami)

↷ A/N ─ happy belated birthday to light and me !! i hope you enjoy this :) again, this is NOT rape/non-con. the reader is as sober as light here. written by a zombie-me at 4am. also im sorry if the camera topic is overused, i just couldnt help myself fantasizing about this

★ COUNT ─ 2.5k

!! TAGS ─ f!reader, dom!light, drinking, smut, fingering, spanking, unprotected sex, p in v, nicknames (good girl, pretty girl, etc.), edging, begging kink, voyeurism

★ PROLOGUE ─ your boyfriend punishes you for almost letting slip his real identity

SMUT, 18+, MDNI

The dim glow of the television cast shadows around the room. You had been at your high school's farewell party, and had too many drinks there to stumble back home in one piece. It was almost midnight, so there was also no way your boyfriend, Light Yagami, would have let you out of his sight, especially with how tipsy you were. He was quite protective of you, but he was right. You let out a drunk sigh and looked away, silently accepting the fact that you'd have to meet his parents in the morning and share a few awkward exchanges.

Light had had more drinks than you at the party, but he looked far from as drunk as you currently were. He was quietly watching a movie on the TV, stroking your hair lightly. Your gaze went up from Light to the flickering screen. A sudden surge of courage rushed through you.

"Light," you whispered, breaking the silence with your hoarse voice.

"No, you're not going home tonight," Light replied without looking at you.

"No, it's not that," you said frustratedly.

Light raised his eyebrows, hearing you slur your words due to the effects of the alcohol. Still, he did not look at you.

"How much did you drink?"

"Less than what you drank," your throat burned, your eyes drooping slightly.

He ignored you, seemingly engrossed in the movie, but you knew it was all just an act for the cameras L had set up.

You continued, "And it doesn't matter how much I drank, because either way, you refuse to give me attention."

Ryuk snickered in the corner.

Light frowned, finally turning his attention towards you as his eyes trailed down your body. He noticed the dark circles under your eyes, the redness of your cheeks, and the slight swaying of your body.

He looked at you for a few more seconds with a calculating look before sighing and setting the remote on his table. He stood up, "You should really get some sleep."

"No," you repeated.

"I-" Light was starting to get annoyed. "Are you crazy? Don't you want to go home tomorrow?"

"I just- I-" You sighed again, leaning back against your chair and almost falling off.

"Idiot," Light muttered, catching you before you fell. He carried you to his bed and lay you down gently before covering you with his blanket. "Are you comfortable? Do you want me to sleep on the floor?"

"No, no, I need cuddles," you smiled drunkenly, completely forgetting what you were going to say back when you had gotten some "courage".

"Of course, you do," Light said proudly. "You need my cuddles to sleep."

You hummed in response. As he snottily took his shirt off before lying down next to you, you closed your eyes slightly. They were burning, as if trying to stop you from both closing them and keeping them open.

His hands made their way to your back, gently pushing your neck to his bare chest. You finally shut your heavy eyelids and snuggled closer to him. This was what you always wanted. Just you and Light. Alone.

You furrowed your eyebrows, your eyes still tightly shut, your face pressed against him. Alone? It was laughable that you thought even for a moment that you two were alone right now. Well, for one, there was a God of Death in the same room as you, trying not to pass out from the lack of apples in his digestive system. Second, a great detective was watching the two of you, possibly along with your boyfriend's own father.

Light pulled you even closer to him, inhaling your scent deeply. Soon, the two of you drifted off to dreamland, and L was left questioning whether the seventeen-year-old star student really was a murderer.

You woke up, limbs tangled with Light's. You checked your wristwatch. About four hours had passed, and as you tried to sit up, your head felt heavy from an early hangover. Light's eyes jerked open. He had always been a light sleeper.

"Hm?" he mumbled in his sleep, no longer feeling the presence of your head in the crook of his neck. "What's the matter, honey?"

"I... had a dream," you said slowly.

"Nightmare?"

"Kinda."

Light sat up slowly and reached out for a glass of water to hand to you.

You peeked into the glass, rubbing your left eye until you saw stars.

"Vodka?" you said hopefully.

"Water," he replied calmly.

You pouted pleadingly; more alcohol was what you needed right now, but you eventually had to resign to your boyfriend. You drank the water, and instantly felt much more sober than you were before. Your sleepy eyes fell on Ryuk, his legs and hands in a rather uncomfortable position, perhaps due to not having apples for such a long time.

For a moment, you, for the second time that night, completely forgot about the existence of the cameras.

You turned to Light. "How long is he going to go without apples?"

"Who, honey?" Light's eyes flashed warningly, but you were far too sleepy to notice.

"Ryuk, your Shini-"

Your words were cut off by a sharp kiss. Light had completely thrown himself at you, and you fell back down on the bed due to the sheer force of his abrupt kiss. The empty glass landed on the floor with a loud clink, but he ignored it. His hands reached under your shirt, his nails digging into the skin of your hips as if daring you to talk further.

You attempted to prop yourself up on your elbows, to gain some kind of control over what was happening. But Light pushed you back down, pulling you by your hips and roughly throwing your head down on the pillow.

He pulled away eventually, the pupils of his eyes completely red, and you cursed yourself mentally. This was not your Light. This was Kira.

He leaned away from you, got up to pick up the thrown glass and filled it with water again, but as he offered it to you, you rejected it. "I'm sober enough for this, Light."

"Very well then," Light whispered and leaned in closer to your ear. "I hope you remember you're being watched. Make sure you put on a show."

You nodded slowly, letting his hands roam around and make their way to the hem of your skirt, twirling the fabric around his fingers. He brought another hand to your top and slid it under the cloth, feeling the material of your satin bra.

"The one I gifted to you?" he raised his eyebrows, a little smirk on his face.

"Yes," you whispered, pulling his bare chest against your clothed one. "Strip me, Light."

"What's the magic word?" he teased, hand slipping under your bra and cupping your breast.

"Please," you whimpered when he pinched your nipple.

Ryuk snapped his eyes open and tumbled out of the room clumsily, perhaps to give you some privacy.

"Good girl," he didn't hide his smirk this time as he pulled your top off completely, throwing it to the side where it landed on his chair next to his own shirt. He ran his hands down your back, grabbing the zipper of your skirt and slowly pulling it down. Light slid the skirt down your legs, leaving you in a matching set of satin underwear and bra.

"Pretty," he murmured, his hand grasping his growing bulge tightly.

"Let me help you with that," you sat up on all fours and leaned in closer, a hand stretched out to touch his crotch.

You rubbed him lightly, slowly increasing your pace before unbuckling his belt and slipping your hand under his boxers. Your constant touching of his tip made him groan, hand reaching out to yank you by your hair and push you back down to the bed. You grabbed his hands and brought them to your breasts, pressing them against your chest.

"Take my bra off."

"I'm not a man to be told what to do," he said, bringing his lips down to your neck. "But I will allow it this time."

Light freed his hands from your grip and brought them to your back, unclasping the hook of your bra and letting it fall to the floor. He cupped your breasts in his hands, lowering himself so that his mouth sucked on one nipple while his hand squeezed the other.

"Fuck," you moaned, pushing his head against your chest.

He grabbed your hand and brought it once more to his crotch, letting you feel the bulge in his pants again.

"You're not the only one who's needy right now."

"You're so- god, I can't wait to feel you inside me," you said, rubbing his dick through the fabric.

"Patient girls are rewarded," he said, dragging his lips from your neck to your collarbone, his free hand ripping your panties off.

"Hey!" you whisper-screamed.

"I'll buy you another set," he said calmly, sliding two fingers inside you, curling them up and hitting your g-spot.

"Yes," you moaned, pushing his hand against your pussy. "Faster."

He brought his other hand from your nipple to your clit and started rubbing it in circles, simultaneously fucking you with his fingers.

"Fuck, I'm going to come," you whimpered after a few minutes, feeling your orgasm build.

"Mhm, do it, what a good girl," he said, rubbing your clit faster, aiding your release. You came hard on his fingers, arching your back, bucking against his hand and moaning loudly. Your legs shook, while he pulled his fingers out of your pussy and brought them to your mouth. "Clean them."

You nodded, sucking on his fingers, your teeth digging into his skin. Light smirked.

"Don't you think you should be punished?"

"Huh-? For what, Li-?"

Your words were cut off once again when he pulled you onto his lap so that your ass faced him and you lay on your stomach, pussy pressed against his crotch.

_ _ _ _

"L, I don't think we should be watching this," Soichiro Yagami kept his eyes away from the screen, where his son, his perfect little son, was busy fingering his girlfriend. He hadn't even known he had a girlfriend, let alone the fact that they were so... intimate with each other.

"There has to be some meaning in what the girl said," L racked his brains, eyes scanning the scene, now showing you in Light's lap and his hand rubbing your ass. "Apples?"

"For god's sake, it may be some sort of safeword for when they- for when they do- this," Soichiro yelled, his eyes on the floor.

"It's not a mere coincidence, Mr Yagami," L said thoughtfully. "Apples? Kira told me 'Shinigamis' loved apples earlier. This is not a coincidence, Mr Yagami."

_ _ _ _

"You're going to be punished for fucking everything up," he whispered in your ear before smacking your ass hard. "Count."

"One!" you yelped, feeling the sting of his hand on your ass. "Two!" "Three!" "Four!" "Five!"

He kept spanking you, alternating between your ass cheeks. You could feel his dick hard against your stomach, and ignoring the pain in your ass, you started to grind against it.

"Six!" "Seven!" "Eight!"

He spanked you harder, and you could feel your ass getting red. You were breathing heavily, and your pussy was so wet that it was dripping onto his lap.

"Nine! Ten!"

_ _ _ _

"Can we stop watching this now?" Soichiro groaned.

"There has to be some hint," L traced the screen with his fingers which showed you getting spanked hard by Light now.

Soichiro let out an uncomfortable sigh.

"Mr Yagami, you can close your ears and eyes," L said without looking away from the screen.

_ _ _ _

"Good girl," Light said, rubbing your ass. "Now, a reward."

He slid his pants and boxers down to his legs and wiggled out of them. He brought his dick to your pussy, rubbing its head against your clit and earning a moan from your pursed lips. He flipped you over, pinning you under him on the bed again as he continued to tease you.

"Please, Light," you begged, trying to reach out for his dick so you could push it in.

"Please what?" he said sweetly and you groaned in annoyance.

"Please fuck me."

He smiled and pushed his dick inside you slowly, savouring every inch of your tight pussy.

"Oh!" you wailed, feeling his cock stretch your pussy.

He started bucking his hips in and out, fucking you harder as his balls slapped against your clit, doubling the pleasure. He was careful not to make a sound, but he didn't stop you from letting your strangled moans out. This would be your punishment, facing his mother in the morning after getting fucked so hard by him at night.

You tried very hard to suppress your lustful sounds, eyes welling up at the thought of facing his family in a few hours, but you couldn't. He was too good. He knew just how to get under your skin. Slowly, you felt your second orgasm approaching.

"Ah, ah! I want to come," you clasped your hand against your mouth to stop yourself from screaming. He was going so hard on you, of course, his mother and his sister would wake up if he continued.

"No, you're not. Hold it in," Light commanded. "You're going to come when I say so."

He kept fucking you harder, and you could feel your orgasm building. This was torture. There was no way you could hold yourself in when he was going so hard on you.

"Please, Light," you begged, feeling your pussy clench around his dick. "I can't hold it in anymore."

"Hold it in, I said," he said, flipping you over again and spanking your ass hard. He increased his speed, and you buried your head in a pillow to muffle your screams. "I'm going to come inside you now. Understood?"

You could feel his cock twitching inside you, and you knew he wasn't lying about his orgasm. You nodded slowly, voice still distant because of the pillow.

He let out a long, satisfied groan as he released his juices inside you, pushing his dick deep inside you. You could feel his cum filling your pussy, and it sent you over the edge.

"Now, come for me, pretty girl," Light said in a hoarse voice.

"Yes!" you screamed, feeling your orgasm wash over you. His cum was dripping out of your pussy, and you could feel his cock softening inside you.

"Good," he said, pulling his cock out of you. It was scary how calm and composed he was when a minute ago, he had spanked you so hard. He grabbed a towel and wiped your pussy clean.

_ _ _ _

Soichiro blinked at the abrupt ending of the sounds. Still refusing to look up at the screen, he asked, "Is it over now?"

"They're both still naked," L said, analyzing the place, feeling his own dick harden at your bare figure, panting and sweating as Light got off you and laid next to you, throwing the towel somewhere insignificant.

"Well then?" Soichiro said.

"Well what?"

"You made me watch my son... doing- doing stuff with his girlfriend," Soichiro said in a shaky voice, his hands behind his back to avoid pulling his hair out in frustration. "What have you understood from this?"

"What I've understood?" L said thoughtfully, his gaze unconsciously reaching his growing bulge. "Your son is quite romantic, I suppose."

© chuulyssa, 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.

[rucow]

some placements im soft for<3

♐ sagittarius sun: my everlasting obsession. the most magnetic people ive ever met. they're insanely beautiful and enigmatic, they fascinate me. i have no sag placements myself, so idk why im so in love with this sign, but to me they're ethereal and regal in a way. they give me a heartthrob. i adore their facial features and their personality, i love their blunt honesty. these people are majestic and special to me. also very silly.

♏ scorpio mercury: this placement could tell me to jump off a bridge and i probably would. their words and tone can have full control over other people, they have so much power in their voice! even if they speak very quietly, the impact of their words is immense. singers and performers with this placement are impeccable at delivering the most raw emotion to their audience. every time they speak, i feel like i can see and feel their soul. which makes sense, because their mercury is conjunct my moon. i feel compelled to listen to these people. they put me under a spell anytime they speak (or sing). also, i love it when they go detective mode trying to solve a ~mystery~

🌠 mercury-neptune conjunctions: ethereal, mesmerising, haunting. i noticed that a lot of singers i listen to have this placement, and you can really feel it. ive always had dreams (and nightmares) about songs written and sung by people with this placement, they're absolutely haunting in such an addictive way. they're out of this world. beautifully poetic people.

♎ libra moon: some of the sweetest people ive ever met. they're so soft and sensitive, even if they don't seem like it. somewhat of a role model to me, i looked up to them so much only to find out im a libra moon myself in sidereal astrology. i have an urge to protect these people and reassure them that their feelings are valid. they have the most beautiful smiles.

♊ gemini moon: maybe it's because my own moon is in the 3rd house, but i find these people very relatable. the amount of hate and misunderstanding ive seen them receive is plain cruel. i think these are some of the most genuine people, and i appreciate it when they speak their mind. silly factor off the charts

♑ capricorn placements (any): i haven't gotten to know you too well yet, but you're always like a breath of fresh air. im intrigued by you! i feel i have so much to learn from you.

♏ scorpio sun: the kindest most understanding people ive ever met. sure, there's been a few bad apples here and there, but so many scorpios ive met have helped me heal, even if indirectly. they've had a huge huge impact on me and im always thankful for that.

♐ sagittarius mars: i adore these people's energy. my mars is in aries but at the 9° degree (a sagittarius degree), and i feel like being around these people is so fun. very very playful people with an outstanding positive energy, they are silliness personified and i love that about them.

♒ aquarius venus: i didn't care much for this placement at first, seeing as it's my own, but looking through works written by aquarius venus artists has hit something deep inside of me. there's something sad about your heart being in this saturnian, fixed sign. it's like a prison. you fully commit to people once you think you've found "the one", and break-ups can be brutal for you. you don't show it on the outside, but your suffering shows in your art, and im sorry i didn't see it sooner. your understanding of the world is very real and fascinating, and you're such a devoted friend. ive grown to understand and appreciate this placement a lot more than i did before.

though i only talk about a few specific placements here, every sign is special in their own way. ily all, take care of yourselves 💖

[toxicanonymity]

Left in Lincoln - Masterlist (ongoing)

softdark dads' best friend!Joel x virgin f!Reader

gorgeous moodboard by aurorawritestoescape ✨

series masterlist here, a reblog won't stay updated.

official soundtrack 🍑 playlist by readers PREMISE: After you were orphaned by the outbreak, Bill and Frank raised you, sheltered in their closed community. Now 21+, you're still inexperienced. They leave to get treatment for Frank and ask Joel to look in on you while they're gone. The town begins to creep you out, but Joel is glad to provide comfort, protection, and education. WARNINGS: I8+ Big, girthy age gap. Joel is very dark and toxic but acts sweet with reader. Angst. Loss of virginity. Manipulation. Slow-burn horror: no gore, no violence toward reader, but this story has given people nightmares. NO USE OF Y/N.

Floorplan

PLEASE STOP PUTTING THIS FIC INTO AI. It's been made into chat bots at least 3x since August and they all sucked. It hurts my writing and gives me a mental block. Do not copy, translate, re-upload, use AI on, or make bots of any of my work.

Part 1 - This Protector (3k) - He lowered his voice and said, "Feelin' this against you, knowin' it's there." His hips lifted gently, and it swelled harder against you. "It's s'posed to feel good. Nothin' to be ashamed of"

Part 2 - The Dirty Ground (5k) - “Ever had an orgasm, darlin'?” He slowed his hips to talk. . . . “Only in my sleep," you said.” Good, that’s your body takin’ care of you. It’s good for you. . .Gonna take this belt off, k?”

Part 3 - The Cold, Cold Night (7k) - He looked from your eyes to your mouth and back then murmured, "Nap really all ya want?" "Just wanna be with you," you answered quietly.  His deep voice became nearly a whisper. "Love hearin' that, baby."

Part 4 - Apple Blossom (7.5k) - “Gonna take time ‘fore you’re ready for this,” he said with a roll of his hips. . . You asked, “You want it too, don’t you?” “Course I do, baby,” he panted. “Gotta feel good for both of us, though. Gotta do it right.”

Part 5 - Black Math (8.6k) - “God, if you only knew . . .” There wasn't even a hint of shame in his voice. “We’re almost there, I promise.” He tucked in his shirt and adjusted himself while he was at it. “God damn,” he exhaled.  “Turns me on, thinkin’ about it.” 

Part 6 - As Ugly as He Seems (8.4k) - You would've given anything for Joel to wake up and ravage you. “s’what I mean, baby,” he murmured sleepily into your hair. "Can't trust myself." He groaned softly as his palm brought you tighter against him.  You began to reach behind you, but he intercepted your hand. . .

Part 7 - Forever for her (10k) - [loss of virginity] You looked at his clothes and didn't say anything, but he replied to your silent question with a smile and hushed voice. "no, I don't have to be so dressed..."

Thank you so much for reading 🖤. I would love to write a part 8 but I've been through a lot in this fandom and it's impacted my confidence. I don't have an ETA or guarantee, and I humbly ask that you not ask me because I get stressed. Thank you ✨

-----

Art, etc.

HOT fan art by @bonezone44

Ch 1 mood board by @neverwheremoonchild

Ch 1-6 mood board by gracieispunk

Beautiful Collage by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Chapter-specific posters

Hot ominous edit by swagxgarfunkle tiktok

Haunting edit by @iamasaddie

If yours is missing PLEASE let me know I probably tagged improperly & couldn't find.

[anonymouslosersworld]

♡ Succubus♡ 

Prompt; Mc/reader armed with the teaching Solomon decided to mess around with magical creations and like Icarus flew too close to the sun before falling... in their case fell victim to horniness.

Fandom: Obey me shall me date

Characters: Lucifer, Diavolo, and Satan

Genre: Smut (M)

Contains: protected sex, unprotected sex, dom reader, sex toys, pegging, and maybe voyeurism??

Contains: dubcon, unprotected sex, dom reader, sex toys, voyeurism??, and corruption kink.

Credit goes to @asmology. They have wonderful blog and written pieces. I was so in love with their charmed series and just wanted to try my hand at writing it myself. Please don't hesitate and check out their blogs.

[Obey me masterlist]

Prologue; After you had successfully enrolled in the sorcerers' academy and become Solomon's one and only apprentice after a couple of months. He had encouraged you to explore magical items and such. Due to many lonely and hot nights, you settled on magical items. Using your knowledge you created a life-like magical dildo/vibrator/ pocket pussy of your love interest. Unknowingly to you {or maybe knowingly you did but wouldn't admit it}it was also charmed with your love interest feeling whatever you did to it. lucifers is a little different from the rest.

Lucifer

"hmm!" lucifer moaned into the kiss. He hadn't expected you to join him in his shower. Your hand swiftly went cradle his head as you deepened the kiss. Your tongue quickly enters his mouth, as your body molds into his.

The mirrors were heavily foggy and the steam from the scorching shower could have burnt you, but you persisted in kissing his neck after bruising his lips.

"aren't you eager today?" he questions while you smooch his Adam's apple. Your mouth worked overtime over his body and your hands groped whatever was within reach.

Lucifer could feel his face go hot as you completely ignore him in favor of more time with his body.

"sadly I don't have enough time today, darlin-" he gasped as you bit into him, breaking his skin. You had mangled to trap him onto the shower wall, with your body between his legs. His cock was already awake with all the fondling you had done previously.

" I'll be quick."

" What you can't handle a human's touch?"

Lucifer's face looked at you indignantly, offended by the mere mention of your words. Oh no, you will not be injuring his pride so easily.

"nngh!"

The skin-slapping covered Lucifer's pants and moans. His fingers have long since pruned from the water. You were on top of him riding him. Your hand gripping his neck prevents him from completely breathing. Your wet hair had been pushed back from your face as you wanted to see a completely devastated Lucifer, tired and spent and most importantly fucked out. He looked like you had fucked over and out. His eyes glazed over but his eyebrows borrowed trying to concentrate on his oncoming orgasm

"I thought you didn't have time today?" You mocked him, out of breath but with a smirk. Clearly proud of yourself.

" i-I have a few minutes!"

" You said that like an hour ago? Should I stop, you might be late? Think you can handle not cumming Luci?"

"f-fuck." He was so close!!

Lucifer looked at you desperately

Could he handle it?

"i-i can't!!"

Lucifer gasps awake, completely disheveled. His hair sticking to his head. He feels his legs weak and his cock completely spent. He feels his clothing on himself and he looks around his surroundings. His pajamas felt wet and obviously, he had cummed in his sleep.

He's in his room, he must have dreamt about it.

That's what he thought until he saw you climbing onto his lap in nothing but your underwear and loose shirt.

"good morning Luci ~ How about we clear your schedule today?" You say after tearing a condom wrapper with your teeth. " I need more than a few minutes."

Satan

"ooh~" he moaned quietly into his pillow. He had locked himself in his room as soon as he felt the fingers touch him.

His bare ass was up in the air as he felt fingers shove back into his hole. It was overwhelming the pressure entering him and exiting. The feeling of his cock wrapped up snuggly in whatever you had made.

whatever this was strong magic strong enough to completely overwhelm his senses. His kitty headband pushed his hair back

" m-mc!" he whines out into the open "To- too much~"

Your fingers had been replaced by a smooth object, cold to the touch but could reach the deepest part of him easily.

His fingers gripped his sheets as you kept hammering away into his hole. His sheets had seen better days. he had soiled them with his cum and tore them up with his bare hands when the pleasure got to be too much.

"a~aah!"

"keep going baby, I know you can do it."

" i-its hard~!"

'he-he of course it is, but soon its going to all spill out, "

" f- yess~!'' He panted, he was extremely relieved that his brothers were gone. The pleasure was blinding him and he could no longer keep quiet. His room can only muffle so much.

"f-fuck~!"

Dia

His body was hot, the sheet covers were just barely covering him. The squelching sound filled the room as Dia struggled to keep control of his legs.

why was he so sensitive today?

He made a great decision sleeping naked today, he had hoped you would be sleeping with him but you had student council work that kept him from you but you promised that "it would feel like I'm right there."

his confined cock felt the walls spasm against his size. Clearly struggling to keep him all the way in. The swell of his cock kept being squeezed and could feel your spasming walls. Dia furrowed his eyebrows and panted. It was so like you to torture him so after spending half a day trying to catch up with your sex lives with both your sex lives.

The pace was enjoyable but every so often you would stop just when he was supposed to cum and just squeeze him, not letting him cum. He supposed this was his punishment for accidentally denying both of your orgasms when you were getting hot and heavy in his office at RAD because some random demon had a meeting with him. So you took it upon yourself to edge him. He can't do anything with blue balls, can he?

"nngh!"

He panted, his chest heaving heavily.

"p-please, I'm sorry. i- I can't think straight anymore! forgive me" Dia begged and begged. " I promise!"

His cock weeping for mercy, mercy you decided to mindfully give him since he begs so cutely.

"fuck yes! Than-thank you!!"

Requests are open! Feel free to request!

My works are only posted here! If you see any of my work anywhere else please report it.

Do not edit, translate, or repost my work without my consent.

[mrsbarnesxxx]

Hi! I loved your buddie x reader that you wrote and was wondering if you would be willing to write more? Maybe a protective buddie over reader? Thank you! 😊

A/N: Hello, darling, I am so so sorry this took so long! I'm not familiar with Tumblr and took a short break. I wasn't exactly sure what to do with this, but I gave it my best go. If this wasn't what you wanted, feel free to message me again and I'd be glad to redo it for you! Enjoy! ❤️

Warnings: buck and eddie being protective, slight possessiveness, fluff, alcohol mention/consumption, eddie speaking spanish, mention of burns.

Summary: the ways your boys try to protect you

They always have to have some part of them touching you, whether it be an arm, a leg or even just holding your hand, it makes them (especially buck) know that you're still here and nothing bad has happened to you.

You didn't know what else you expected from your boys, but as soon as they parked the car. Your boys were opening the door for you, grabbing you hand and guiding you out of the car, one hand resting on the top of your head so you don't hit it on the top of the car. Buck's arm wrapping around your waist as Eddie holds the restaurant door open for you. You guys were going to meet the firefam for drinks, and of course, the boys being the clingy boys they are, they asked you to come because they can't go anywhere without their best girl. So here you are being ushered into the restaurant, Buck's large hand resting on your lower back as you three make your way to the table.

"You two are always so clingy." You tease. "Just wanna make sure you're safe cariña." Eddie smiles.

You're greeted by the team as you all sit down. "What can I get for you?" A waitress asks walking over to you guys. "Oh, um I'd just like a gin martini please." I smile at her. The drinks arrive and you being talking to Hen about med school. "So you must be so excited." You start and then you drop your phone from your lap straight onto the floor. You bend down to reach it and suddenly a large hand is on the edge of the table that your head was about to collide with. You smile softly up at Buck, grabbing onto the table for support to sit up. Instead you grab your glass and almost knock it off of the table, but of course, Eddie is there to catch your drink, and Buck you. "Thanks." You mumble sheepishly.

They won't let strain pasta or do anything with hot water

"Hey hey hey!" Buck exclaims rushing in from the living room. "Here, I got that." He says easily picking up the pot and pouring it into the awaiting colander in the sink. "I can do it myself, Buck!" You whine. "We know you can," Eddie comments, pecking your temple. "But we don't want to risk you getting hurt." "It's just water!" "Boiling water!" Buck interjects. "Yes, love, boiling water. We're trying to help, so let us." Eddie says with a final peck to your head before he's serving the pasta Buck set back on the stove, greeting Buck in the same way he greeted you.

The same goes for chopping anything, vegetables for dinner? forget it! fruit for a picnic? nope.

"Buck it's an apple. I'm fully capable of cutting it myself." You protest as he easily takes the knife from you. "Again. I have no doubt that you can. That doesn't mean I want you to. Too many people I care about have gotten hurt, I can't have that happen to you too." Buck says. "I seriously doubt any of them from cutting an apple." You mumble irritated by the situation. "Listen. I know you think that Buck and I are babying you, but we're just trying to make sure you don't get hurt." Eddie explains calmly. Stiffling a laugh at your grumpy expression and crossed arms. "We just care about you. And as Buck said, too many people we know have gotten hurt, ourselves included, so yes it's overkill, but it helps us know you're safe, okay?" "Okay." You smile.

[hannsluvely]

after hours

after hours : a live action buggy x fem!reader fanfiction

for some odd reason, you have no idea who he is. and he fucking loved that.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

chapter one

chapter two | red. rain. rotten.

his pov;

She was standing underneath a stripe-patterned banner that shielded her from the pouring rain. Her nimble fingers sorted through an assortment of fruits, trying to decide which were the ripest and tastiest of the bunch. Of course, she was by herself, with none of her peers or family around her. I knew she was close to them. But why must she always be alone?

The tan-suede coat I wore protected me from the cold, keeping my body somewhat warm. My gloves and hands were stuffed in my pockets as I peeked around the corner and watched the girl shop. I noticed her begin to shiver, which I dreaded. I was so selfish. I didn't need this coat. I've spent countless nights in the cold, the crashing waves of the East Blue only intensifying the breeze. I was almost immune to the cold, but her? Y/N's nose was reddening as her teeth shattered. Was any fruit worth suffering in the cold? A devil fruit, maybe. But even then, it wasn't worth it. "Y/N," I smiled as I approached the maiden. The girl's head rose as she picked up an apple then her body twisted, her eyes growing wide upon the sight of myself. She nearly jumped. "How-" She shook her head. "Are you following me?" Her voice and body shook. Yes. "No, of course not," I laughed, brushing the accusation off my shoulders as I took a few more steps toward her, closing the wide gap. "I was looking for something to eat and I spotted you. Am I not allowed to say hello?" Guilt was something I was tremendous at. Y/N still seemed skeptical but after a slight sigh, she smiled and nodded her head. "No, forgive me. I'm sorry. Uh," She turned her attention to the apple she was holding then let it drop among the others crowding in a small basket. "None of these apples look good."

"They've been sitting out for a while. The shop clerk doesn't take the best care of his fruits. It's why they're so cheap," I chuckled to myself and reached down to grab an apple. I twisted it and examined a large brown spot that was eating away at the once-bright red color. I huffed, "I'm sure you can find something else to eat."

"I can't afford anything else to eat."

My eyes widened and I took a step back, visibly and internally shocked. What? She couldn't afford to eat anything other than a rotten apple? "Why?"

"It's a long story," Y/N admitted. "But I don't wanna talk about it." The girl sorted through found one that looked reasonable, and started to dig in her pocket. She pulled out nothing. "Never mind, I can't even afford that." Letting out a pitiful laugh, she dropped the fruit. I frowned. Her absence of money was one of the few things I didn't know about her. And now that I was aware of it, I felt a puzzling and aggressive feeling in my stomach. Was she out of work? Did she not have any way of providing for herself? Raising my hand, I grabbed at my chin and scratched the bottom of it. "Let me buy you something to eat."

"What?" Her eyes widened and she immediately shook her head, waving her hands as a type of rejection. "You are not buying me anything."

"It's just lunch. It's no biggy," I remarked. "At least something small."

"Why?" She folded her arms over her chest. "Do you feel sorry for me? First, you see me getting picked on by some slob, and now, you see that I'm too poor to afford a rotten apple. What's next?"

"Y/N, knock it off. Stop. Just think of it as a friend doing something nice for their friend."

The questioning look remained stuck on her face as she stared up at me. I tried to maintain a serious expression though the look she was giving me made my lower lip purse, like a pout. How was someone so enchanting? I continued to stare into her eyes, making quick glimpses to explore her other facial features before she finally made a decision. "Fine, but just this once, okay?" "You got it." I winked. -=- Being the gentleman I am, I loaned Y/N my coat to wear despite her dismay and numerous declines. She was pouty the entire walk to the pub but I didn't care. I'd rather her in a pissy mood than feeling physically uncomfortable due to the rain. I, however, was shivering. I was starting to become drenched. I held a newspaper over my head in hopes of staying dry but the wind was strong and the rain was forceful, almost piercing through the thin paper.

When we arrived at the restaurant, she found herself a seat in the corner of the establishment, scooting far into the booth. I followed behind her, sitting on the edge of the seat. I'd rather her be sitting across from me than rather to the side but due to her current emotional state, I stayed quiet and slid her the menu. "Get whatever you want, alright? I mean it."

"Are you a man of money?"

"Something like that," I snickered and ducked my head down to examine the options.

"Have you killed anyone before?" Y/N asked as she folded her arms over the table, her eyes peering at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows and let out a soft laugh. "No," I lied. "I'm not like that. I wasn't that type of pirate."

"What kind of pirate were you?"

"What kind of pirates do you think there are?"

"I don't know," She said as she pursed her lips. "I don't like pirates."

I nodded, unsure of a proper reply. I didn't like lying to her. I was fine with lying, in general. I was the master of conniving and deception. But I wanted to be different for her. Maybe a better person, though that seemed a bit rash. I left the East Blue after discovering that Monkey D- or whatever his name was received a higher bounty than me. Double my own, to be precise. My normally high and mighty ego dropped down and was smooshed by a brick. I didn't want to show my face again, at least not for a while. I wanted somewhat of a fresh start. And when I discovered my presence in the North Blue was dim and almost non-existent, I decide to settle down and refresh.

Then I discovered her.

And my plans completely changed.

"Do you know what you're getting?" Y/N's voice interrupted my thoughts and I raised my head and peaked up at her, smiling softly.

"Hm, not too sure yet," I replied.

"Are you cold? You look cold. You can have your coat back, it's--"

"Nah, keep it. It looks better on you," I said with a grin. I reached for a napkin and started to dab at my forearms, trying to dry myself off. The lovely woman aside of me frowned and stayed quiet. I could tell she felt guilty, which, of course, wasn't my intention. So in hopes of brightening up the mood, I decided to tell a joke.

"What's a pirate's favorite type of exercise?"

Y/N smirked and scrunched her eyebrows. "What?" She laughed.

"The plank."

Her hand slapped over her mouth in hopes of keeping her loud giggles and snickers to a minimum but the more she proceeded to think about it, the more laughs she erupted. My face reddened. I glanced around me, noticing that every other patron and pirate were staring directly at us. Gulping, I reached forward and pulled her hand down from her mouth. "Come on, stop. It's not that funny."

"It's stupid, that's why it's funny!" She continued to cackle as she threw herself over the table, clutching her stomach. A smile crawled on my face, not a painted one. Hearing her laugh, while for no reason, was a beautiful sound. And seeing her laugh? That was even better. I rested my chin in my hand and watched her, smiling to myself. When she finally calmed down, she wiped tears from her eyes. Her face was stained red. "Gosh, I am so sorry," She sighed, shaking her head. "I needed that, thank you."

"It's no problem," I said as I dropped my menu.

Due to the lack of laughter, a waiter finally arrived and took our orders.

"I'll have a slice of apple pie, please. With a cup of milk," Y/N smiled up at the waiter as she read off from the menu.

I raised an eyebrow. Dessert?

"Then after that, I'll have the fish and chips. But I want the pie first, please. Not after." She announced and she folded her menu, sliding it forward. She smiled at me.

I looked at her, completely confused. "Uhm," I looked back to the waiter, "I'll just have a cup of coffee."

Now, Y/N was looking at me, confused.

The waiter nodded and left. "Hey," Y/N started. "Why aren't you eating? I thought you were on your way to get something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry. Plus I doubt you'll finish all of that. I might pick on your leftovers," I said with a grin then I started to munch on the small bowl of peanuts that sat in the middle of the table. "What's up with the apple pie though?"

"I like to eat my dessert before my food because that's what I'm looking forward to," She hummed as she leaned back in her seat. "What if during our meal, we are stormed by a group of pirates and killed at gunpoint? Or a sea snake comes and eats us whole?"

"Ha! What?"

"It's unlikely but it's possible. And I'd like to die knowing I was able to get to the good part of my meal." She wagged her finger at me.

"You make a good point there."

"I know," The girl said with a satisfied grin.

I chuckled and sat back, drumming my gloved fingers on the edge of the table. A thought pondered my mind but I didn't know whether to act on it or not. I wanted to, but I didn't want to overstep any boundaries. I felt Y/N and I were moving forward with our relationship if there was one. We were talking, enjoying a meal together. I made her laugh. She admitted a quirk about herself to me. I felt there was good progress. But I wanted more. I was an impatient man. And the fact that it took five months for me to finally talk to her, despite her initiating the conversation, was surprising. I was eager to get what I wanted. And Y/N was the only thing my mind and heart could agree on.

But the fighting halves of my brain finally settled and I rested my arm over the top of the booth, leaning back. "So, uh, earlier you said you needed to laugh? How so?"

"It's a long story," She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders.

"I've got no places to be, I have time," I said as I cracked a peanut open, discarding of the shells on an unfolded napkin. I watched as she began to grow uneasy with the topic but I was desperate to want to know what was the issue. Why was she stressing her pretty little head? I frowned. "Come on, talk to me. We aren't friends, I'm a stranger to you, no? Who am I gonna talk to or tell?"

"You make a good point," Y/N sighed and leaned forward, raising her hand to scratch at the back of her neck. "It's just- I don't know, it's a lot. I haven't talked to anyone about it."

“Why not?”

“Because it’s something I’m not proud of.”

What could someone as sweet and fragile as she has done that was such an awful deed?

“What is it?” I tossed a peanut into my mouth.

“Well, I was young when it all happened. But when Gold Roger announced the One Piece before he died, my dad was one of the stupid pirates who thought he could have a shot at finding it,” She announced as her eyes rolled and she started to chew on my inner cheek. “My mom kept telling him to knock it off and stop living in a fantasy but he set off, determined to find it. I haven’t seen him in fifteen years. But this came to me a few days ago,” The girl dug her hand into her pocket, rummaging around before she pulled out a crumpled piece of coffee-stained paper. She rolled the ball toward me.

I looked at her then back down at the paper ball. I reached forward and grabbed it, raising an eyebrow. Unfolding it, I smoothed the paper against the table and started to allow my eyes to trail over the letter.

‘Y/N,

It is with great sorrow that I write you this letter. I wish you the best in your youth and I hope you amount to incredible things, such as creating a new destiny for you and your mother. I am sorry I wasn’t able to be a better father for you. Greed is distasteful. I won’t see you again. At the time of writing this, I will be long gone. But please, do me one thing: never stop smiling.

I love you, kiddo.

Love, Dad’

I clenched my jaw and looked back up at her. “Damn, that is a lot.”

“I told you,” She whispered as she tore the paper out of my hands, crunched it into a ball, and then shoved it back into her pants. “I didn’t think he’d be dead. Not this soon. My parents had me when they were young. And to think that my dad died doing something everyone warned him of. It’s horrible. It haunts my mind every day,” She frowned, her eyes tearing up. “Do I write back?”

“Do you have things you wish to say to him?”

“So much. But if he’s dead, then there’s nothing I can say, right?” Y/N rubbed at her nose and took a deep breath as she looked up, her hands waving in hopes of drying her tears. “God, I hate crying.”

“Maybe just write your heart out. Say everything you wish you could say to him. Then seal it in a bottle and toss it into the sea,” I suggested. I looked down at my gloved hand and hesitating, I reached forward and took hold of her small hand. I gave it a tight squeeze. “What do you want to say?”

“How I hate him for abandoning me and my mother but I still love him because he’s my father,” Y/N murmured, the rest of her words muffling as her lower lip quivered. She broke down in a fit of sobs as tears ran down her gorgeous face. I swallowed, never knowing how to react when someone cried. As a child, I hated to be touched whenever I was upset. I wondered if she was the same way. “I don’t know, I don’t,” She repeated as she buried her face in her hands.

I looked around the bar, nervous that others were watching this scene. First the obnoxious laughter and now this? Her emotions were spiraling.

“Hey,” I whispered, my thumb rubbing along her wrist. “Let's say we get the food to go and I’ll take you back home. Eat where you feel comfortable and so you can properly feel your emotions.”

“Huh?” She raised her head, the light mascara that accentuated her eyelashes, now dripping down her cheeks.

“I’m going to go tell the chef to wrap your meal up. Then I’ll take you home,” I continued and I raised my free hand, snapping my fingers to signal we needed assistance. “But don’t worry, I’ll turn around when you walk inside.” I cocked a smile but the comment remained unheard as she continued to cry.

I finally found a waiter and instructed him that we were taking the meal to go. He looked at Y/N with a concerned look but I told him she was alright. But I didn't even know that.

On the walk back to her place, I think I managed to get her to calm down. My hand rubbed at her back as she dipped her head in her hands. I guided her through crowds, instructing her on where to go since her eyes were covered and swollen with tears. A small frown fell on my face despite the red-painted smile I wore so proudly. The face paint I wore was smeared and dripping due to the rain from before. It was continuing to rain but not nearly as frequent and hard as earlier.

I had no idea she was this emotional. It made me feel guilty, even though, as far as I knew, I had nothing to do with why she was crying so much. I hated seeing her so sad. Normally, if it were anyone else apart from her, ridiculing would be my goal. I never cry. Pirates don't cry. But my nose burned with an odd sensation as I helped her up the staircase to her small, run-down building. I blinked rapidly and the feeling went away. Letting out a sigh, I gave Y/N a pat on the back and informed her that we were finally home. Her head raised from the confines of her hands and she revealed a wet, red face with strands of her hair sticking to her skin. A frown stayed on my face. I pulled my hand from her back and dropped the takeaway down on the doorstep. I clenched my teeth together and watched as she fumbled to push the door open. "Here," I whispered, using my foot to nudge it open. It gave way, revealing a disorderly room with an unkempt bed and a woman sleeping under the sheets. It was probably her mother.

"Thank you," Y/N finally spoke, her voice croaking. "I appreciate it, honestly. I'm sorry for ruining your meal."

"Don't apologize. Things are fine. Go eat then get some rest, alright?"

"Yeah, okay." She rubbed her nose and nodded her head. "I'll see you around." Her body twisted and she hunched over to grab the uneaten food. She stepped inside.

"Y/N," I started, stopping her in her steps. She turned around. As I dug through my pocket, I pulled out a few berries, placing them in the palm of her hand. "Take these, okay? It's not a lot but, it should last you a little while."

"What?" She looked in her hand, shaking her head. "Buggy, no, I can't accept this. This is too much."

"Come on, take it. It's okay. You need it more than I do."

"But this is like," She counted the bills in her hands, "forty-three hundred berries... Are you completely sure?"

"Yes, I am," I said with a smile.

"I'm going to pay you back for this, I promise."

"No need."

"No, I want to. Please. I won't take this unless you allow me to repay you for this. Okay?" She slipped the money into her pocket, wiped her palm on the side of her pants, then held it out. "Deal?"

Chuckling to myself, I nodded my head. "Deal." I shook her hand. "Now, come on, go eat. I don't want to take any more of your time."

"Okay, okay," The beautiful girl agreed with a large grin, which was a much better sight than her crying. "Buggy, thank you. Thank you so much." And with those words, she stepped back, gave me a quick wave and a sincere grin, then shut the creaky wooden door behind her.

The sound of the door shutting nearly made me jump. And when I realized I was left all alone, the same sensation in my nose appeared. I gulped and walked down the stairs, now standing on a wooden dock. I hugged my arms and my eyes widened.

Y/N still had my coat.

[dragon-kazansky]

When the raven calls

Morpheus x Female Reader

You, his raven, die protecting Jessamy while rescuing the Dream Lord. When Morpheus returns to his realm, he mourns your loss, only to find a stranger waiting for him in his throne room. The stranger claims to be you, now in human form. He doesn't understand, but his raven will always watch over him.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Chapter Nine - The little things

☆☆☆

You're sitting on the steps of Dream's throne while he reads about a girl named Rose Walker.

Morpheus coaxed you into using your human form a little more often. As a gift, he gave you a wardrobe full of outfits. You were wearing a pair of shiny black boots. You had been practising how to tie the laces. Matthew would undo them with his beak so you could tie them again.

This was all part of you trying human things, no matter how mundane they seemed.

"What have you tried so far?" Jessamy asks, flying in.

"Um, let's see, I tried an apple when we were with Death the other day. Hob bought me a coffee, that was nice. Lucienne has been teaching me how to dance."

"Dance?" Morpheus asks, looking up from the book.

"Yes. She suggested I might try and find a hobby for myself, so we went through some stuff and settled on dancing. She's very good, you know."

"Is she?" Dream sounds amused.

You nod.

Morpheus puts the book down and stands up. He walks down the steps until he reaches you and holds out his hand. You look up at him with slight confusion.

"Dance with me."

You feel your heart skip a beat. You stare at his hand for a few long moments before you remember he's waiting. You reach out slowly and place your hand in his.

Morpheus smiles softly.

He guides you off the steps and then gently pulls you in close, but not too close.

"We don't have any music."

"We don't need music." He says.

He leads. You follow. You don't even look down at your feet as you dance with him. His eyes stay locked on yours.

You're not entirely sure you understand what's happening. How has it come to this? Once upon a time, you never would have dared think of Dream in this way. He was always just your king, your creator, your Dream Lord.

This was something out of a fairytale.

Matthew and Jessamy sit on the steps and watch you both. They can see this connection that has been building between you both. It's clear as day.

"Are they-?" Matthew starts to ask, but Jessamy hits him with her wing and shuts him up.

The dance continues right up until Lucienne returns. She has been out taking note of everyone who had returned to the Dreaming, and who was still missing.

You take a step away from Morpheus. He doesn't even look at Lucienne as she comes over. His eyes linger on you and how shy you have become.

As a raven, you would have no issue talking back at him. As a human you seem so sheepish around him.

He wonders if you feel it too.

"My Lord." Lucienne looks between you both. She realises she jas walked in on something, but she must speak to Morpheus.

"I, uh... I'm going to try out more stuff..."

You smile softly at Lucienne as you rush past her. Jessamy flies after you.

He does not look away until you've completely disappeared from sight. He turns his attention back to Lucienne who is looking right at him with her brows raised.

"Go on."

"I have completed the census you have requested, Lord Morpheus."

"Good, and?"

"I have accounted for 11,062 of them."

"Wow, someone's been busy," Matthew chimes in.

"There are a handful of new entites." Lucienne says.

"That is to be expected." Morpheus goes through the census.

"But... three of the Major Arcana are gone."

Morpheus looks up at her. "Name them."

"The first is Gault."

The first window changes to reflect the missing Nightmare.

"A Nightmare who. I must say, I never trusted."

"She is a shape-changer. It is not in her nature to be trustworthy. Who else?"

"The Corianthian."

That was a given. Morpheus had failed long ago to bring him back.

The second window changes to reflect him.

"I assumed as much. Still feeding on the dreamers he was meant to serve."

"Yes."

"The last?"

"The last is Fiddler's Green."

Now that was unexpected.

"Fiddler's Green?"

The last window depicts the lush greenery of which was once Fiddler's Green.

"That is passing strange. He is, after all, vavasor of his own dominion and always so reliable."

"I know."

"This is my fault.vhad I been here, fulfilling my function-"

"It was not your fault, my lord."

"No? Then whose?"

"I am afraid there is yet more news." Lucienne says. "Gossip, really, but..."

"Go on."

"There are rumours among the dream folk... of a vortex. Perhaps you might wish to investigate."

The rumours are quite true. There is a vortex." He confirms. "A true annulet. The first of this era."

"Then you must hunt for it, sir. It must be controlled."

"The vortex is a she, Lucienne."

Morpheus shows her Rose Walker. As of at the moment, she is not a danger. He intends to use Rose to gather his missing Dreams.

Lucienne is unsure of all of this.

Matthew offers to go keep an eye on Rose. Morpheus agrees. There was a time he would send you, but he would quite like to keep you in the Dreaming for now. He wants you to explore your human side some more.

☆☆☆

"Is it nice?" Jessamy asks, watching you brush your hair in the mirror.

"It feels nice through my hair." You say.

"Not the brush, silly."

You look at her reflection. "What then?"

"Falling in love."

You stop brushing and turn in your chair to look at her, shock and confusion written all over your face. "What do you mean?"

She chuckles softly. "You and Lord Morpheus."

"What about me and Lord Morpheus?"

Jessamy flies over to the dressing table you are sitting at and looks up at you through the mirror. "You're falling in love with him, aren't you?"

"What? No! Don't be silly." You can't believe she would ever say anything like that.

"What? You're trying to me you don't feel anything toward him?" She cocks her head to the side.

"That would be ludicrous!" You gasp.

"Why?"

"Why? Our lord has not had a partner romantically in so long. His relationships end terribly. Which is a shame. He is such a good man. At least in my eyes. Yeah, he's a little emotionally constipated, but I am certain when he loves he loves with his whole being, and I am not about to hurt him."

"Why would you hurt him?" Jessamy asks.

"I don't think the Endless are meant to love."

"They must do. If not people, then some other aspect. Did you not say Death loves her job because she is there for the people when their time is up? That's a type of love."

"It's not the same..."

You sink down in your chair slightly. "I refuse to fall in love with him."

"I think it's too late." Jessamy flies up and pecks you softly. You wave her off you and watch her fly away again.

"You're wrong..." You whisper. No one hears you.

☆☆☆

"What are you doing?"

You turn to find Morpheus watching you. His lips are curled into a tiny smile. You hadn't heard him enter your room.

"Um, trying on some outfits. Lucienne said you made me even more clothes."

"I assumed you would like a selection." He looks at the outfits he had created for you.

"Thank you."

"Would you like to spend some time together? You could perhaps try more human things. Lucienne mentioned you hadn't really experienced much in your human form."

"Oh, I don't want be any trouble."

"You are no trouble. Matthew is keeping an eye on Rose Walker for me, and the Dreaming is doing rather well. I would very much like to spend some time with you again." He speaks softly.

You gaze at him. You hadn't expected him to say anything of the sort. "Okay."

"Come with me. We shall explore the dreams of others unnoticed and try out anything you wish. Say the word, and I shall find us a dream."

You follow him.

You've never actually done this before, travelled dreams. That was his thing. He could enter dreams unnoticed if he wanted to, and the people dreaming would be none the wiser.

"What would you like to do?" He asks.

"I... hm." You're not entirely sure. You try to think of something the humans enjoy doing. "What about... ice cream?"

"Ice cream?" He asks, a tone of amusement laced in his voice. You nod. "Very well then."

Morpheus takes your hand in his and guides you through the Dreaming. He finds exactly what he's looking for. A young girl in Italy is having a dream of the ice cream parlour her father takes her too. Morpheus hides from her view as he takes an ice cream and gives it to you.

You look at it. It's cold in your hand. It feels real for a dream, but you supposed, in a sense, dreams were real.

"Go on," he urges softly.

You watch the way the girl eats hers and copy her. It's cold on your tongue. You can taste the flavours. You go in for some more. It's sweet, but not too sweet. You like it.

Suddenly, after a few good bites, you're struck with a pain in your head. Your hiss as you massage your scap gently.

Morpheus chuckles. "Ah, the experience of what they call brain-freeze."

"Oh. What do they enjoy this so much if this happens?" You pout.

"Perhaps a sweet treat is worth a little punishment." He teases.

Still, you eat the rest of the ice cream.

"What now?" He asks.

"Um, maybe I could try riding a bicycle?"

Morpheus is once again left amused by your request. He finds a dream of a man who, in his younger years, used to race on a bike. He helps you climb on. "Start small."

"Right..."

You take note of the people in the dream. You try to copy their movements. It is not so easy to balance with two wheels. Morpheus does not let you give up though.

Soon enough, you are peddling. You manage to cover a little distance. You smile as you start getting the hang of it. There was so much for you to experience.

Though you do miss soaring through the skies as a raven. However, Morpheus was keen for you to stay human today. You would humour him.

Next you want to see a beach. Morpheus can find those in abundance. He selects one he particularly like the look of.

You remove your shoes and feel the warm sand under your feet. You smile. Sand is Dream's thing, so it feels comforting. The sea is gentle against the shore.

"This is nice."

"It has dawned on me how little you have experienced, even as a raven."

"I suppose... but it's alright. I adore serving you." You tell him softly.

"Still, as things are now, you are permitted to enjoy life a little more."

"That's... very kind of you. However, please do not let me stray from my duties. I am still your loyal raven."

He chuckles. "Yes."

As you both walk along the shore, he reaches out and takes your hand in his. You look at him, but he simply smiles. You say nothing. The pair of you walk along the beach.

It's funny seeing him in such a warm, sunny place dressed the way he is. But it's just a dream. He's not really affected.

The sun starts to set. You stop and turn to look at it.

"How was it being human?"

You smile softly. "It was nice. I miss my wings, but this is exciting. Thank you for this."

"You're most welcome. I feel a lot is about to happen, so I wanted you to enjoy this." He says softly.

"What do you mean?"

"The vortex. She will bring my missing creations to her, and I shall bring them all home."

"Oh, right. Yes. Just say the word, and I'll help."

He smiles at you. "I know."

You both stay on the beach a little while longer. Once the sun has gone, Morpheus takes you back to the palace. You walk beside him through the halls.

"I must go speak to Lucienne. I shall call on you again soon." He says, looking at you. Nodding, you watch him go. His coat flows behind him as he disappears down the hall.

You stand there with a small smile on your face. All of things you've done today, your favourite part was spending it with Morpheus.

It almost felt like a date.

☆☆☆

@missdreamofendless - @kpopgirlbtssvt - @sitkafay - @snowsatsu - @ladyofdreaming - @thoughtsfromlayla - @modest-irish-goddess - @mystic-mara -

[fellthemarvelous]

Invisible scars

(TW: religious trauma)

Looking at me, you wouldn't know that I've survived religious trauma. The marks of religious trauma are seldom visible. In fact, I had no idea for the longest time that I had religious trauma (I thought it was a thing that happened to other people). I simply spent decades questioning the reasons I felt like I was so broken on in the inside. I kept trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and why I never felt happy or like I was never able to connect to anyone. I had no idea that my experience with the church as a small child is what shaped me into the anxiety-ridden, majorly depressed disaster creature I am today.

I spent 12 years learning inside of Catholic schools. It has taken me more than 20 years to process and deconstruct, and I am always going to be a work in progress. I was brainwashed into believing the very worst about myself, and I was always just beyond saving because I had the misfortune of being a woman in a church that taught us that women experience pain during childbirth as a natural consequence of Eve eating the apple, which is why they enjoy making us suffer in the first place. They taught us that Adam ate the apple because Eve seduced him, so even though Adam also ate the apple, his sin still wasn't as bad as Eve's because she did it first and used sex to get him to do the same. They placed the blame for Original Sin squarely on Eve and thus onto every single girl who entered the church. If a boy did something to me that I didn't like, it's probably because I did something to provoke him first.

Do you know what I learned to do at a very young age just to be able to cope with that?

I learned to use humor to deflect when I was struggling. I smile when I don't want people to know I'm sad. I laugh at inappropriate times, especially when I'm uncomfortable. I learned to bottle up all of my emotions because expressing anything other than happiness is bad. I learned to compartmentalize. I taught myself how to pull out the right emotion for the right occasion because I was always striving to be who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. It was exhausting.

In the midst of all of this, I'm trying to figure out which parts of me are really me and which parts of me are things that were put into my head. If you've experienced indoctrination, you know what I'm talking about. They pulled us apart as small children and placed us in specific boxes and told us that deviating from the norm was bad.

Crowley is a fallen angel. His change from angel to demon is drastic on the outside.

You know he fell and that his wings turned black and he ended up in a pool of boiling sulfur. It's the reason Crowley is so easy to sympathize with. He suffered unfairly because of arbitrary rules that deemed him unforgivable. He's accepted that part of himself. He's clever and creative and it has helped him find ways to get out of doing his job for centuries. Hell doesn't care how jobs get done just as long as someone does them, and at this point humanity is doing more to damn themselves than the demons are able to keep up with. They're tired and overworked. Hell is overpopulated even though it should be infinite in size. Crowley wants no part of that system because he sees it for what it is, just as he sees Heaven for what it is. He has the marks to prove that he is one of the damned, but that has given him all the perspective he needs to see that both sides are fucked up and toxic and "irredeemable" (just like him). He has yet to fully let go of the hold Heaven has over him because of how badly he got hurt.

Aziraphale is still an angel.

He never fell, and he doesn't know why. He has lied to God. He has lied to Gabriel repeatedly. He lies to protect Crowley. He lies to protect humanity.

Remember, Crowley and Aziraphale started off in the same place.

They both started off as angels who were created to do God's bidding. Aziraphale is the one who told Crowley what he'd heard about everything shutting down in 6,000 years. He was simply trying to make conversation. He didn't think it was something Crowley would object to. Angels were just supposed to go along with God's plans, but Crowley had a different opinion and was vocal about it. Where did Aziraphale get his information in the first place? Why does nobody ever ask this question?

Aziraphale knows Heaven is toxic. He's not blind. We need to move past this idea that because he still has love for God that he doesn't know Heaven is fucked up. He never fell, and it's something he still fears because who the hell doesn't fear the thought of eternal torment, especially if you know it's real? God has never cast him out of Heaven though and he doesn't know why. It's probably something that hangs over his head like the Sword of Damocles.

Letting go is not an easy task. Aziraphale has always been an angel. He didn't have his identity ripped from him the same way that Crowley did. Crowley had to adapt to a brand new way of existing because he was cast out of Heaven.

Crowley's trauma is evident on the outside. Aziraphale's trauma is hidden on the inside. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

Crowley was an angel and then he was a demon, but he doesn't want to be labeled as either.

Aziraphale has only ever known how to be an angel. He's only ever known the ways of Heaven.

I'm only in my early 40s. It has taken me 20+ years to undo 12 years of religious abuse. Aziraphale is immortal. He and Crowley have abandoned their jobs, but four years in the space of millions isn't a lot. No one overcomes indoctrination in four years. Especially when you had millions of years of blind obedience indoctrinated into you. It simply does not work that way no matter how much you want to believe it can.

It has taken me more than two decades to learn how to stop hating myself. I still have no idea how to love myself, but it's something I'm trying to learn.

My entire identity was wrapped up in what the church told me it would be. Once I fully denounced it and all organized religion, I found out I had no idea who I was. No one had prepared me for a life outside of this one very specific identity and role that I was expected to fill based on a very specific box I was placed into.

I still struggle with black and white concepts. It's hard to unlearn when you have no other basis for comparison, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. It means that these changes do not and will not ever happen overnight.

The fall didn't just affect the demons though. It affected the angels as well. Look at how tightly wound the angels are. They're always trying to do the good thing, but they have no idea what that actually means, and you realize this when Uriel asks The Metatron if they had done something wrong. They are scared of making mistakes, but none of them know what they are supposed to be doing since Gabriel disrupted the status quo. You can see they are unsure of themselves and of each other. The concept of free will is so foreign to them, but Aziraphale showed all of them that it was in their grasp when he allowed Gabriel and Beelzebub to decide where to go so they could be together.

It takes a lot of audacity (and sheer ignorance) to dismiss Aziraphale as power-hungry and abusive.

Aziraphale did nothing to punish Gabriel and Beelzebub. He allowed them to leave because they were in love with each other, and he knows what that feels like. He thought he was about to get the same fate with Crowley until The Metatron showed up and refused to take no for an answer.

He doesn't want to fix Heaven because he thinks it's perfect. If he thought it was perfect he wouldn't want to fix it.

Aziraphale is going back into the Lion's Den. He knows what he's going up against. He's been humiliated and belittled and abused by Heaven for thousands of years.

His scars are there even though you can't see them, and he hides his pain with humor and silliness.

When I see people advocating for Aziraphale to suffer even more because they don't think he has suffered enough, I find myself sitting back in one of those classrooms in Catholic school being told that I deserve the bad things that happen to me because I somehow failed to measure up to some impossible metric. The cruelty of that mindset aimed at Aziraphale is kinda the reason Crowley hates Heaven in the first place because he's been there too.

And as someone who is processing religious trauma, it's disheartening to see people say that because Aziraphale has yet to fully let go of Heaven that he deserves harsher treatment. Crowley would definitely not agree with that sentiment.

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

Onyx Storm Predictions!!

I wanted to do a full theory post but the clock is TICKING and I decided to get sick last week before I could write one up, so this will have to do!

Predictions below the cut! I'm going to re-blog and re-spoiler tag with extra info from the apple books preview, so no onyx storm spoilers on THIS post.

I'm going to start off with my most controversial prediction and say that I don't think Xaden is leaving! The bond is still in place (re: end of IF) and Sgaeyl evidently still gives a fuck about him (again, re: end of IF) and so I don't think she's going to break the bond! I DO think he might try and leave, but I think Violet will stop him.

This is probably the second most controversial (at least to me) but I do think Violet might be part/half venin. I think Lilith turned when she was pregnant with Violet. I don't fully know how being part venin would even work, but we know next to nothing about how being FULL venin would work, so I'm not gonna sweat it. There's a huge theme (motif?) of being two things at once in these books (violet's hair, her eyes, her two dragons, her two signets, scribe/rider, Xaden's two signets, etc.) Further, you have Lilith's cure-investigation, and also the matter of the extreme amount of parallels between Lilith and Xaden. I think they both turned to protect Violet.

The subsect of that prediction/theory/whatever is that I don't think Xaden can drain her! If you read the fight with JFB in FW wherein Vi is "shaken by an internal force (she doesn't) understand, as though he's forcing his own power into my body, shocking me with a thousand stings of vibrating energy" while he has his hands holding her face. A couple paragraphs later, it's confirmed his eyes are red-rimmed. (Fourth Wing pages 294-295). I think this is JFB draining her to a certain degree. It HURTS Violet, he gets power, but no hand prints! I actually really wanted Xaden to leave sexy handprints on her, but in the last like 4 days I've changed my mind. I foresee a sort of vampire-esque power drinking thing!

I keep calling myself controversial but I'm going to keep doing it. My NEXT controversial take is that I don't think they're going to the isles yet! I think Vi may WANT to go to the isles, but I think she'll have to go to Poromiel first, then head to the barrens!

I think Vi's second signet is one of two things: the type of mirroring signet I used in Teach Me, or a straight up inntinnsic. Both of these are used in the throne scene, as I spelled out in that fic! I don't mind Vi being an inntinnsic*, especially since all the men in her life have a direct line into her head. I really think it's only fair if she can get back at them, IDK.

I don't think we're meeting Xaden's mom this book! I think that's book 4. But while we're talking about her, I think she has a second kid Xaden doesn't know about, and I think they'll meet this secret sibling first and it will be a moment of tenuous trust between riorgail (in that Violet will have to grapple with the possibility of him keeping secrets from her AGAIN, only to find out her isn't)

I'm saving my thoughts on who dies for the spoilery part!

I don't think Xaden is getting "Cured". I'm not entirely sure there will be a cure on a person-to-person basis, because I frankly think that defeats the purpose of the metaphor.

This MAY be a book 4 thing, but I'm going to add it here anyway! My IRL bestie and I talk a lot about how the story of the 3 brothers here is the Deathly Hallows reborn, and we've been joking about how Violet must gather said hallows to defeat Voldemort etc. However, we joked about it a little too much, and now I'm convinced: at some point, Vi will be the dragon rider, the gryphon flier, and the venin

OR: Mira is the gryphon rider* and Brennan's the venin.

This is wishful thinking actually but the quest squad somehow ends up being just x, vi and the dragons!

This is more of a theme prediction, but every book thus far (all 2!) have been about unpacking a level of propaganda. FW is Navarre's propaganda about war, and IF is Navarre's propaganda about Poromiel. Therefore, we have at least 2 more forms of propaganda to unpack: whatever the fuck is going on with the dragons, and the idea that venin are inherently evil. I think we tackle one of these book 3 and one book 4! Or perhaps both together, because they are intertwined.

Crack Pot Theories

Papa Sorrengail's first name is Adam.

I don't think Halden is Violet's ex. I think it's literally two random ass infantry guys. Also Xaden gets to kill Halden :)

I think Brennan killed Naolin! I also think they were gay. I think it’s a mirror to a different way to handle someone turning venin for you than what Vi and X will do

I may edit this and add more. Why am I blanking on every thought I've ever had about onyx storm in my life.

[papasbaseball]

The Wizard x Reader (Wonderful Wonderful Girl) | Chapter 7

Pairing: Wizard x F!Reader

Rating: Teen (Rating to Increase)

Warnings: Power Imbalance, Boss/Employee Relationship

Summary: Being a maid in the Royal Palace of Oz is not half so bad. Despite the meager wages, everything else is provided for you for an honest day's work. It can be unnerving working for the most powerful man in Oz, but you are able to avoid him most of the time. This changes during Lurlinemas, your paths soon becoming inextricably intertwined.

Word Count: 3,724 of 19,250

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AO3 Link

The festivities start before the sun sets. I watch as it sinks below the horizon, a fat red apple amongst the crooked charred tops of green houses and shops. Its dying light falls gently on the shoulders of ladies and gentlemen as they arrive, like a glowing kiss of welcome as strokes of real gold, gold that could be minted, bathe their cheeks and laughter-filled smiles. They arrive in pairs, by themselves, in whole parties that tumble out of stuffed carriages. I watch from the window of my room, having already been done up for an hour at that point. I have dragged the vanity stool over to the window so that I can watch better. Anything to pass the time as I wait for the inevitable final guest of the party: myself.

I have no desire or intent to go down to the feast because I knew that he would be there: the Wizard. Every stroke of the makeup brushes this afternoon felt like porcupine bristles being dragged across the skin of my cheeks, eyelids, and lips. The lips had stung the worst, right in the spot where he had touched his thumb. It was embarrassing really, the way I fell for it all. Emily didn't know anything about what had happened in the throne room, but her words from weeks ago echoed in my head as she wound locks of my hair around the hot iron. You're not the first dummy to try and sleep her way to head maid. The fact that I wasn't the first one was what was eating at me. Was this the kind of treatment that they got? How many had there been before me?

I shake my head at that. No, not before me. I am not a part of any line of women who would sleep with the Wizard, and I do not want to be any part of that line. I'm sure he has needs that are natural to his human body, just the same as he needs to bathe or dress or sleep, but I refuse to think of him like that. It feels disrespectful to even think that he could be so carnally biased that sleeping with him would earn you a higher rank and station, rather than merit.

The thought of him brushing my lips stings me again and I wince, getting up from the window and throwing myself on the bed. There is something about watching the guests arrive that is causing my mind to lose itself, fixating on... I grit my teeth as I push my face into the pillow, not even trying to protect the curls Emily had set or the makeup that had been painted. The cotton pillow is soft against my made-up face and when I try to breathe in, my lungs are confused by the lack of oxygen. Good. If I knock myself out maybe I'll get out of the whole thing altogether.

There is a knock at the door and I dig my claws into the comforter. It's only been a few minutes since Emily left the room and already someone is coming to bother me. I breathe in the pillow quicker, hoping to speed up the process. There's the sound of the door opening and then an unexpected voice.

"You planning to fall through the floor to get to the party?" Bruno says. He bats at my shoe. "C'mon. He wants you downstairs."

What? So he can embarrass me? It was one thing when we were in the darkness of the control room, or even teasing remarks in front of Humak, but to do it in front of hundreds of strangers? "I'm not going," I muffle into the pillow.

"I don't know what you said, but you'd better get up before I make you," he says.

I turn my head just enough and find myself involuntarily sucking in clean air. "I said 'I'm not going', okay? You can't make me."

"For Oz's sake," he says, and then he yanks me by the ankle as I squeak in protest. "This is the hill you're going to die on? A stupid party is worth your sister's life?" He yanks me once more and I tumble to the floor, the wind going out of me in a yelp.

"No! I'll run away!" I say, scrambling to my feet. I say this, despite never having thought about it before or knowing how I would survive outside of the Emerald City with no money and a second mouth to feed. I don’t even know how I would get out of the palace without a guard stopping me.

"You look fine," he says. "Now, let's go."

"No," I say.

"What the hell is wrong with you?” he says “You see a ghost or something? There's food downstairs and drinks and dancing.” Dancing. The thought of the Wizard's hands on me again, the knowledge that I'd fall for it again like an idiot... The Wizard had magic in more ways than one.

"I don't want to dance," I say, "...with strangers, that is. Have you seen the Arjiki guards? They're frightening." They aren't, but it's better than confessing my relational problems to no-nonsense Bruno. What would he know of... whatever the Wizard and I were?

"Well, then you can dance with me then," he says.

I blink, having never considered the possibility before. The party would be better than hiding in my room upstairs because I would have an excuse to not see the Wizard. How could he dance with me if I filled my entire dance card with other people? Up here I ran the risk of him slipping away from the party to come torment me in private. "You mean it?" I ask. Bruno simply offers his arm, and I take it.

We take our time walking down to the Grand Ballroom. I ask Bruno how Leo is doing. Apparently, he got in trouble at school the other day for beating a kid up on the playground. I ask him if the kid deserved it and he laughs, asking me about Fileah instead. There's nothing new to report back besides telling him I'm trying to be on my best behavior so I can see her again. We don't talk about the riot. I hope Fileah has stopped talking about it by herself as I hadn't had the chance to tell her to. The Wizard has been keeping me busy with etiquette assignments and other stupid tasks that seem to take up the whole day past when visiting hours are over. As we enter the Grand Ballroom, I can feel the puzzle piece of the confusing social training click into place and realize that he had this party planned for a while and was truly planning to surprise me.

Tulle and taffeta skim across the floor in coiling circles as partners guide them along, sometimes breaking off and weaving in and out of the ladies and gentlemen, all the while laughing. Toward the front of the room parallel to the wall, and on the dais there are tables laden with food. As we draw closer I can see suckling pigs that have been roasted until bronzed, the skin pulled so tight that you could taste the way it would crackle in your mouth without ever sinking your teeth into it. There are turkeys that have been herbed and stuffed and are twice the size of the biggest one I've ever seen. In between the meats are bowls so big that you would have to carry them with both arms filled with buttered turnips, roasted brussel sprouts, sugared beets, whipped and airy potatoes, and several others that I ignore once I see the towers of desserts. The guests who are not dizzying themselves with merriment have taken seats along these tables, filling their plates with any and all of the offerings.

The table on the dais is packed. Fiyero, Humak, and some of their guards that I had seen earlier are seated on the left, a few strangers are seated on the right, and in dead-center there’s him. The Wizard's lips are pressed together in a hard line, goblet draped lazily in hand, and an empty seat beside him. His eyes are scanning the room, and I know he is looking for me.

"This was a mistake," I say, pressing against Bruno to try and get past him.

"I'll be here and ready to dance with you when it's time," he says reassuringly. He takes my wrist which now has a dance card attached to it. Someone must have slipped it on me while I was salivating over the food. Quickly, he pencils his name into two or three slots – I'm not sure how many as I'm watching the Wizard stare at me, not once breaking the gaze – and then he guides me up to the dais. "I'll come get you when it's time."

I climb the stairs on the right side of the dais, trying to find a seat that hasn't been taken already. Unfortunately, all of the seats at the table are labeled with place cards, little bits of cream cardstock that have been etched in curling script with names and titles. I try to keep my eyes on the whirling bodies of the dance floor and away from the Wizard's tiger-like gaze. The dancers seem to have moved onto a reel, two great ovals smashed together as couples take turns dancing down the aisle of refined and all-green and gold clothing. I watch intently, even as I take my seat next to him, even as I can smell the spiced cloud of his cologne, even as I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my face to make it so hot that I wonder if I have a fever and might be excused from the party to undisturbed bed rest.

We sit like this for an eternity, letting the full orchestra swallow up our unsaid words, until a familiar voice asks, "Are you a big dancer?" It's Fiyero, goblet in hand, and much more fashionably dressed than the last time I saw him, a satin blue military jacket perfectly accompanying his blinding smile and the twinkle in his eyes.

I have to ask him to repeat himself, feigning that the orchestra is too loud to hear him. He does, and I swear I could go down to the Unionist chapel right now and thank the Unnamed God for getting me away from the man sitting next to me. "Oh yes!" I say. "I love dancing. I don't get to do it much, so I'm really trying to take it all in."

Prince Fiyero laughs at that. "Wouldn't it be better to take it in on the dance floor?" He offers me a hand, and I don't have to think twice before taking it.

I don't have to imagine that Fiyero is a heartbreaker back in Winkie Country. I can feel my own butterflies flap their wings in curiosity at how graceful and perfectly gentlemanlike he is: the way his hand warmly guides me by the waist, the way he laughs at anything that I say and always has the perfect banter ready to shoot back. Even his eyes, his hair, and his teeth are perfectly perfect, and yet I am still not completely sold. Stopping me from falling for him fully is almost equally the shock that a prince has asked me to dance with him when I had been sharing a bed for warmth and stealing ribbons weeks ago, and the fact that I can still feel the Wizard's eyes on me.

I look to the dais, and even though we are a good hundred feet away, I can see the anger seeping from him, how Humak who was sitting to his right looks at him nervously as if the man in the satin green tuxedo were going to explode and kill him in the process. Good, I think. It was time for him to get a taste of his own medicine. It wouldn't hurt him to see me dancing with the enemy. It's just a little harmless fun so maybe he'd stop trying to mess with my head and toy with me.

I'm not familiar with the dance that plays next, but Fiyero is such an excellent partner that everyone who looks at us would think I had known it my whole life. He jokes with me about how the party hadn't really started until I showed up and I almost believe him. By the end of it, I have a stitch in my side from all of the dancing and the laughing. I feel as if I could down an entire bottle of fizzy wine the way I'm out of breath and giddy to go again. I don't need the wine as I feel a strange warmth spreading within me. Looking at Fiyero, I'm more than glad he came to the Emerald City, and not just glad that he got me away from the Wizard.

"Come on! Come on!" a man in spectacles that pinch his pupils into reptilian slits shouts. "Let's play a game of Blind Man's Buff!"

This sends the crowd into a tizzy of excitement, young women shrieking with delight and pushing each other, the gentlemen gathering closer to the bespectacled man.

"Blind Man's Buff?" I say, grabbing Fiyero's arm. "What is it?"

Fiyero's grin spreads wide in excitement and he pulls me into the throng of those who have had enough of dancing. The man in the lizard glasses is now waving a white scarf as if it were a flag of surrender as the mob pushes in.

"Who shall be our Blind Man?" Lizard Eyes asks.

Fiyero pulls me forward and pushes me to the front. "Take her!" he shouts, waving my hand above my head. "She's a virgin!"

"A virgin!?" Lizard Eyes exclaims.

I'm short-circuiting over them discussing whether I've slept with anyone before when Fiyero whispers in my ear, "It just means you've never played before, love." The butterflies are now beating their wings in earnest.

"Yes! Yes!" Lizard Eyes says. "It will be a special Lurlinemas treat, then. A real game to remember!" Quickly, Lizard Eyes blindfolds me, the world going dark as the soft and warm cashmere is wrapped snuggly around my eyes. Despite the scarf being white, there is still a green light that comes through, and I realize just how truly green the entire palace and city are if even a thick scarf can't block the verdant glow. "Should we make it a special game?" the voice of Lizard Eyes says.

"Lover's fate!" Fiyero shouts out.

"What's that?" I try to ask Lizard Eyes. However, I can't see him, and my guess as to where he is remains in the last place I saw him. I reach out to my right and touch nothing but air. This earns a laugh from the crowd.

"Lover's fate!" people agree, some even starting a chant.

"Lover's fate it will be!" Lizard Eyes says. He must have moved back behind me, I realize, turning in that direction. "You will have to search the room looking for people. Once you grab someone, you must identify them." He giggles.

"Sounds easy," I say. I hope I catch Fiyero, I think. He's familiar enough and I wouldn't mind an excuse to touch that perfect face of his.

"Well, it would be, except you can't use your hands," Lizard Eyes says. "You'll have to kiss them to figure it out."

I want to rip off the scarf and go hide under one of the banquet tables when Lizard Eyes grabs me by the shoulders and starts spinning me around and around until I'm so dizzy that I want to lay on the floor until my head comes back to normal. Even if I lay there all evening, it would never stop the spinning on account of how many strangers there were and that I would have to kiss one of them. The thought makes my stomach go cold, so I know that I have to find Fiyero. Maybe I’ll be glad that I came to the party after all. Maybe...

The mob that had gathered around Lizard Eyes is now quickly dispersing and reeling back in. Their whoops and hollers are growing distant and then occasionally they bump past me in taunt, but I don’t care. Frankly, there are too many of them, and I'm trying to pick out Fiyero's voice. The slight Winkie accent is what I'm looking for, the way it sparkles. I think I hear him 10 feet diagonally to the right of me. I go chasing after it and can hear his laugh as I fall through the air in my attempt to catch him.

"If I had known you wanted to kiss me that bad," he says, "we could have skipped the dancing."

I'm following his voice once again, trying to sneak up on him. "Okay," I say. "So then get over here." Another snatch and a miss.

"Nuh-uh," he says. "I'm undefeated in this game. You can kiss me afterward if you really want to."

I make a dash for him and miss the grab again. I stomp my foot, willing him to hold still.

"You know, you're supposed to chase other people too," he says. Another missed grab.

"Well nobody told me that," I retort back. I fake going after other people, trying to keep his location in mind. When I'm satisfied with enough squeals and laughs, I taunt him again. "Maybe you're undefeated because you're scared."

"I'm not scared," he says. 8 feet to my left. I reach for the rustle of a skirt that I hear closest to me, pretending to chase it as I make a semicircle to cut him off. I shoot my hand out and grab hold of an arm clad in a soft satin. The blue and gold dress military jacket.

"Too easy," I say with a smirk. The room has gone silent and I can't stop grinning at the thought of the Arjiki prince kissing the Wizard’s special guest. Serve’s him right. "Kiss me."

His fingertips are warm as his hands cradle my face. The room is still holding its breath as I feel just the brush of his lips against my own.

"You call that a kiss?" I whisper. "Kiss me."

His lips crush mine openly, an invitation. I let my tongue slide against his lower lip as his tongue slips against mine and into my mouth, pressing my tongue back into submission. It's everything I can do to not fall into his arms and let him carry me out of the party. He was certainly better than any schoolyard kisses and there was a promise of domination in the way his tongue danced with mine that sent a thrill up my spine.

When he pulls away, his name is already on my lips as I tear the scarf off. I don't make it past the first syllable.

It's him. There's a look of hurt in his eyes and I can't help but feel like an idiot. I was so wrapped up in the idea of kissing Fiyero that I couldn't even recognize the same small scars that had touched my hands earlier that day or the way his mustache and goatee had scratched the delicate skin of my lips.

So many things are crashing and burying me like an avalanche: the way he's looking at me, the way the room is still silent and staring at us, the way Fiyero has a shit-eating grin and I can tell he's holding in a laugh, the way I liked it and still want more. This last part is what sends me running from the room and out into the winding halls of the Emerald Palace.

I need to get away from him, to think this out. How was I ever going to face him again? I remember telling Bruno about how I would run away, and now I'm seriously considering it. How much could a train ticket possibly cost? Fileah and I could probably run away and live in the jungle off of the fruits of the forest until we found somewhere nice in Munchkinland to house us. Maybe Bruno had some family outside of the Emerald City that could hide us.

I burst through the hallway and find myself back in the throne room. Sweet Oz, anywhere but here. The face is well hidden amongst the vines again. I consider going up into it to cry – it'd probably be the last place he'd expect to find me – when I hear a queer wooden sound. It sounds like a penny made of wood is spinning around and around before it falls flat. Then the crash happens, followed by cursing.

I run over to the source of the commotion to see Humak Tigelaar with a funny-looking object in his hands.

"Humak," I say through a tear-constricted throat, "you're missing the party."

Humak laughs nervously at this, agreeing with me. It is as he's trying to slip away that I realize what he's holding.

"The Grimmerie," I breathe.

Humak's smile drops and instantaneously he's bolting into the hallways.

All I wanted to do was to be left alone, to just go somewhere where no one would find me while I tried to sort out what would be best for me, what would be best for Fileah. No, in truth, it was just what would be best for me. If I had really been selfless I would have played whatever part he had set for me and done it happily. Ribbons were a fraction of his generosity, and she could have had anything in the world if I had just played the stupid part.

I feel like Lizard Eyes has spun me around and around for a second time as the machine that is Oz the Great and Terrible seems to be floating up with its ropes towards the ceiling, the ceiling falling to the floor. I stumble, feeling for any sort of familiarity or guidepost in what to do, and I keep stumbling, footstep after footstep until I reach the entrance to the Officer's wing.

My voice sounds a thousand yards away as I yell for help.

[starsfic]

It's still early on and ppl are probably just still processing and healing from s5 and It could be I just missed it.

But we're is the Mei angst? Home girl was gonna loose one of if not the most important person in her life forever. And I haven't seen anyone really touch on that.

Like don't get me wrong I totally get why everyone would be focused on his brother/father figures more currently. But Mei was just as much an important figure in mks life and vic versa, so I'm kinda surprised I haven't seen anything of her perspective yet.

It's not until they're sitting on his bed that she breaks down.

Qi Xiaotian gives a start, turning to stare at Xiaojiao with wide eyes. It's sudden but not unexpected. Crying after battles isn't unusual, he's learned since he began his training, it's a way to get the residual emotions out. But as she turns her head to stare at him, his heart sinks.

She's not crying because of the battle. She's crying because of him.

"...what would you have done if I did it?"

"What?"

"What would you have done if I..." She pauses, her Adam's apple bobbing.

"If you...?" Xiaotian tried, not understanding what she's meaning. Not yet.

Xiaojiao takes a breath that's sticky with tears. "Killed myself?" she whispers. Xiaotian flinches as well. For a few hours now he hasn't really realized what exactly he did or how it would look. "It wouldn't be fucking great, I know for a fact."

"Xiaojiao, I-" Xiaotian places a hand on her shoulder, pulling her closer. His throat aches with unshed tears. Fuck. He died. And when he realized he did, he had been happy. "I did it to save you guys. To protect you."

She yanks away and then yanks him close. Before Xiaotian can figure out what she wants, Xiaojiao smacks him on the back. "When will you learn?" she sobs. "When will you learn that we don't need to be protected, we need you!"

Before Xiaotian can process that, Xiaojiao pulls him closer, her shoulders shaking with sobs.

And all he can do is hold her and cry his own tears.

[hellfire--cult]

Edit of Eddie: pitifulbaby

Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters, plotline and general warnings.)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU, Mechanic!Eddie

⚠️18+: angst at the beginning, sexual tension, mutual pining, mentions of nausea but from nerves, hints of jealousy, sneaking around, kissing, allusions to smut

wc: 14.1k

A/N: REPOSTED CAUSE MY DUMBASS DELETED IT - It didn't take a month for Roe to update, SUCCESS! The slow burn is finally burning folks. @andvys always proofreads, so a lovely shoutout to the bestie 💕

Anyways, Enjoy! ❤️ And don't forget to always support me by hitting the reblog button or leave a comment!

Taglist is closed

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CHAPTER 19

He was scared.

He was so scared.

He didn’t know what he was feeling or what is what he should be feeling at all. Who was he? Who is he? What is he? How can he live like this?

“Son, I told you I would protect you, no matter what. I got the best doctors–”

“I’m a fucking freak! Why me!? I have it rough in life as it is, and now I have to live with this fucking condition!?” He was crying into his hands, sobbing, not caring if he was smearing his mucus all over him because in his sixteen years of life, he never thought he would have a physical condition to live with apart from the emotional one. The turmoil and hurricane of trauma and emotions he was born into, and now he had to add this shit on top of all of that.

“You are the strongest boy I’ve ever met, and this– this is new Eddie, but I’m glad I could come across Dr. Murray… He was the only one who identified it.” Everything was so expensive. Everything his uncle had to pay and put himself in debt for Eddie to be checked and for medicine that did nothing until this mysterious man helped him and now he is better, even if it’s just little. 

“New!? I– How can someone live like this!? It hurts and I feel like I’m losing myself each second it passes!” He felt so angry, his sobs becoming rougher, more like groans rather than cries. His breathing became heavy as he looked at his uncle who was trying to be strong for his nephew, his features twitching as his adam’s apple bobbed up and down in a gulp.

“I know, I know–”

“NO YOU DON’T!” And Eddie’s hand grabbed the lamp that was on his night table and simply ripped it off the wall, the light going off, and then he sent it flying against his closet door, shattering the bulb and breaking the top cap from the metal. He was panting, feeling his body as if it were in the pits of hell, and he was so angry, just furious and filled with rage, but–

He looked at his hands, trembling as he frowned in worry, because he never intended to smash his lamp. He never intended to have an outburst like this but he couldn’t help it. It was too late when his body reacted before his mind did. Wayne was standing next to him with widened eyes, glossed over, and he slowly embraced his nephew in a tight hug.

“Son…” And Eddie only cried into his uncle’s shoulder, holding tightly onto him. How is he supposed to live like this? With these outbursts? With this way of living? How is he going to afford it? Is there a chance to have friends with someone like him? A lover? 

Will he remain lonely forever?

He grumbled in his sleep, shifting on the bed as he moved to his side. He was slowly gaining consciousness once again, hearing soft droplets of rain smashing against the window, and a distant thunder being heard. His nose picked up scents, various ones. The most potent one though was floral, a perfume. That made him open his eyes.

He slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes with his hands and letting out a big yawn. His eyes were still squinting from just waking up but he looked around to find himself in your room, and it was not a surprise to him at all. He looked down on himself to see the shirt he lent you when you passed out after your first kiss. Eddie groaned as he stretched out, putting his hands all the way up, feeling his back pop.

“Shit…” He exclaimed and sighed out as he relaxed once more, a bit more awake now. He looked at the floor, seeing his clothes from the night before there, while yours were on the chair against your desk. He eyed the black dress, remembering it bunched up on your stomach as you bounced on him. He closed his eyes as he gathered his thoughts, trying to forget how good you looked taking him, or how you moaned his name, or rather screamed it, or how you drooled–

He groaned as he felt himself growing a bit hard, opening his eyes to throw the sheets off him so he could glare at the bulge of his boxers. He is definitely not coming out of your room until that dies down a bit. He sighed as he sat at the edge of your bed, feet on the wooden floor. He looked to the side to see a picture of you and Robin at work so it seemed. You were half smiling, while Robin was full of teeth in the picture. He wondered if this was taken when you barely moved here, your expression rather cold than excited, compared to how you were now.

He stood up from the bed to walk towards your desk, seeing a picture now of yourself and your mom in your teenage years, probably when you were fifteen or sixteen. That age made Eddie’s eyebrow twitch, but he focused on your mom. You had her eyes. He wondered what your father looked like, someone you haven’t talked much about with him, and he doesn’t see a picture of him around your room.

He turned to look at your vanity now, a smirk appearing on his lips as he remembered how the two of you played cat and mouse the day of the club. He remembers your face, watching you in the mirror while you remained oblivious. He could see and sense how much you were thinking, how conflicted with your arousal towards him you felt. He grabbed your perfume and he sniffed the cap of it, a shiver being sent through his entire system. 

Eddie put it down and then he could the other scents again. Coffee and something sweet. Pancakes? Maybe waffles. Should he put pants on to greet you? He frowned at that thought process because– who the fuck cares at this point?

But he couldn’t deny the nerves he was feeling, because he didn’t know what was really going to happen when he walked out of this room. He didn’t know what he wanted you to say, or what he wanted you to do. There’s one thing he knew. His eyes went to your bed, remembering the night before after the two of you got to your house.

You two didn’t talk at all. The only words were that he could take anything from the fridge and then him asking if you had something for him to wear for bed. Then it was him offering to sleep on the couch but you had denied it, telling him it would be hypocritical to do that now. He couldn’t agree more, and after each of you took turns in the bathroom, you slipped into your bed.

Someone would have probably gotten the itch to touch again, to feel the other person once more, to kiss them and hold them, but as soon as his head touched your pillow, and his eyes closed, he was gone. He didn’t know how exhausted he was, and that was probably because of just how much of him he released yesterday night. He had been trying to satisfy himself the entire week and nothing felt right. Nothing felt like it felt with you. 

And now, the thing he knows is what he wants on that bed of yours. He doesn’t want to just sleep on it next time. He wants to make a mess out of it, probably break it, make you buy a new one since he knows with whom you shared that bed with. A bastard that could not change an inch for you. A bastard who didn’t deserve you at all after how selfish he was with you. Yeah… he wants to break that fucking bed so you could get a new one. One you would baptize with him. A bed you would have only used with him.

He shook his head in shock, pressing his fingers against his forehead, trying to push those kinds of thoughts away. Fuck– He has to keep that shit in check. It doesn’t happen often, and it shouldn’t happen with you. Especially not with you.

He clenched his jaw as he cracked his neck from side to side, taking deep breaths as he looked at your door. He then looked down at his boxers and– okay, good, it’s gone. He walked towards the night table again and picked up his ponytail, putting it in his mouth as he opened the door of your room and started putting his hair up in a bun, and in three steps he was in your living room. 

You were preparing the last batch of waffles, coffee ready in the pot. Syrup on the island counter as well as nutella and strawberries. You didn’t know what he liked, but he will have to eat whatever you have. You honestly didn’t know if you were going to be able to digest anything down because there was just a rollercoaster of nerves and it never stops, not until you two have a talk.

You heard the door opening and then barefoot steps, making your body flush in anticipation. You were wearing a loose silk long black camisole, very open and comfortable to sleep well and– it was pretty. You weren’t going to deny the fact you now felt like riling him up at any given chance, but you honestly didn’t think of it yesterday night. You could have changed this morning, but where was the fun in that?

But you knew that today was not for fun. You two had to talk. You two had to have a rational and adult talk about what was going on between you. You both cannot just go and say fuck it, you have to either have conditions or really look into the pros and cons of this situation.

But, first… you have to face him. So you turn your head over your shoulder to see him leaning against the door frame as he tied his hair up in the messy bun you know him for and fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What is he doing to you? You fucked him two times only and you already want a third one? You have to control yourself. 

“That smells fucking good.” His voice was hoarse and he finished putting his hair up, finally looking up to see you. His body turned into a furnace in just a second, biting the inside of his cheek as he scanned the back of your legs, his eyes taking in every inch of exposed skin as he could. “Well, damn.”

No more hiding whenever you two check eachother out so it seems. It makes you feel weird, nice, but weird. You cleared your throat and pointed at the stool next to the island counter where the plates were.

“None of that. Sit down.” You quickly turned to take the last waffles out of the waffle maker and put them on the plate that already had six waffles on it. 

“Demanding. I like it.” A shiver ran down your spine at the compliment. It… was a compliment, wasn’t it? Or rather, a kinky remark. Your face heated up when you remembered how you acted the night before. Yeah, it was definitely because of that.

You unplugged the waffle maker and grabbed the plate, turning around to put it in the middle of the counter, in front of Eddie. You could sit next to him, but for the sake of keeping this civil and adultlike, you sit across from him, earning a soft chuckle from his part.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing…” He knew you were keeping distance in order not to come onto him, because he doesn’t know what he would have done to you if you sat next to him. He understands. A conversation has to be had first, and he will wait for you to start it, even if he wants to launch himself across the counter to have you on the kitchen floor. He prefers something else than the waffle he is serving himself on his plate as you fill the glasses with water.

You didn’t know how to start, the whole preparation of waffles done in complete silence. You saw how he put maple syrup as well as nutella, and– Your eyes went wide when he was putting everything you put on the table, including the strawberries and chocolate chips.

“Eddie, that’s– How can you eat that!?” You were surprised, not knowing he had a sweet tooth for this. Your own waffle was simple, whipped cream and strawberries. His? It was a monstrosity. He stopped mid squirting more chocolate syrup on his pancake and looked up at you with a squint of his eyes.

“I’m a growing man. I need my nutrients.” 

You stared at him in surprise and then you finally let out a snort, covering your mouth as you started laughing into it. You heard him follow you right behind and– you didn’t notice how tense you were. You didn’t notice just how hard your shoulders were even before he came into the kitchen, and this interaction finally made you relax because… he was still Eddie.

“Nutrients? That is a nuclear bomb, Munson!” 

“Bomb!? I take offense to that. This is barely something.” At that, you heard the squirt of the syrup as another gush of chocolate dripped down and you raised your hands to signal him to stop.

“Okay, enough! When I said you could take anything from the fridge, I didn’t mean for you to use up ALL of my things!” He shot a pouty lip your way and you shook your head at him as he put down the bottle of chocolate syrup. 

“This is a prison.” You rolled your eyes, but the nerves you felt flew away thanks to him breaking the ice. It almost looked like nothing happened between the two of you yesterday night, but the soreness in between your legs told you otherwise. You took this chance to take a bite out of your own waffle before your stomach closed up once more.

“Do you get waffles in prison?” You heard him chew and then talk with his mouth full, making you wince in disgust and scrunch up your nose at him.

“If you suck a cop’s dick, probably.” 

“Ugh–” You disgustingly looked away, clenching your eyes at the image. It wasn’t pleasant at all, but it still made you giggle, the ice breaking even more than before, letting you take another bite of your waffle. You were unaware of the intense gaze that was being directed your way right across the counter. 

He was glad to make you lose the tension you were carrying, but he really wanted to get this talk out of the way and know your true feelings or intentions with what the two of you had going on right now. He let you finish the waffle as he devoured his and he was about to start preparing a second one, but a clear of your throat made him look at you expectantly.

“Yes? I promise I’m not going to use all the nutella–”

“We have to talk.” You blurted out. The quicker you get this over with, the quicker you two can decide what route your friendship takes from today on. He blinked your way a few times and then took a sharp breath in, pushing the plate away to cross his arms over the table, leaning with his elbows. 

“Yeah, you start.” What? Fuck. What do you say? What do you ask? You didn’t really think of what to say of the situation or how to start talking about it. You felt your heart beating into your ears, the tension now back on your shoulder as he wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb and licked it while keeping his gaze on you.

Oh, what an asshole.

“What the fuck are we doing?” It came out from deep within your soul. It was a question you have asked yourself the week before, and today as soon as you woke up and saw him sleeping next to you. What the actual fuck are you doing? What the fuck is he doing? Where do you both think this is going?

He was not prepared for that question. Taken aback, he sits a bit straighter in his stool, looking down at his food in thought. He had to be the most honest possible today, cause if he wasn’t, he might not have another night with you ever again.

“Fucking. That’s what.” You rolled your eyes at that answer. It wasn’t the one you expected even though you didn’t know exactly what you wanted.

“For fuck sake, that’s not what I meant, and you know that.” 

“Then what do you mean?” His eyes locked with yours again and you fought the butterflies that were disrupting your insides as you looked down at your plate.

“We… We couldn’t stand eachother before, then we finally built a friendship, a good one and–” You closed your eyes as you tried to look for words as carefully as possible but there was no need for that. He understood you, and he also had that same train of thought once. But then, he tasted you, and gone were all consequences from having more of you from his mind.

“I get it… We don’t have to lose that friendship, you know?” You scoffed at that, shaking your head.

“What if one day something goes wrong, like I mentioned before?” Your eyes locked with his again as you continued talking, pouring your thoughts out. “What if I get a partner one day? Or– you do? I don’t know if they’re going to let us keep talking to one another if they find out we slept with eachother. Multiple Times at that.” 

Oh… he didn’t think of that. He felt his stomach twist with distaste at your words, at your rationality. He hated the fact you were right, but he also hated the thought of not talking to you again… or was it hating the fact he might lose your touch someday? But he knows something you don’t–

“I don’t have the same chances to date as you do.” His eyes looked at his plate again and his words caught your attention, staring at his form. You could sense sadness coming from the way his shoulders are slightly slumped, yet still tense, signaling you it was a sensitive topic.

“Why do you say that?” He took a sharp breath in as he looked at you with a determined gaze, something that signaled you to stop asking questions, a shiver running from top to bottom in your body.

“I just know. But you are right, I didn’t think of that.” And he probably would have never thought about that possibility. You felt dejected by the way he changed the topic from him, and the memory of the flask in his bathroom cabinet came back to your mind. Was he sick? You knew there might be something going on with him, but you didn’t think it could be that serious. 

“Yeah…” You two remained silent for a while, the appetite gone as you looked at the plate before you. This was… not how you expected it to go either. Rationally, you should stop this, but deep down you really don’t want it to be over. Your stomach twisted, feeling regret for your choice of words or what you brought to the table that made Eddie be the one to back out this time.

You took a sip of your water as you heard him take another bite. You wondered what he was thinking right now. Maybe coming to terms you two have to go back to the way you were? Go back to your boring hook up tales? Fuck, you were not ready to go back to looking through your contacts to find someone to satisfy you, now knowing someone like Eddie exists. You jumped when you heard his rough voice talk again.

“I don’t want to stop this.” 

Your eyes widened slightly, gazing back up at him and his eyes were piercing through you, waiting for your reaction. Your belly did a flip, and your thighs tightened against one another and maybe you imagined it, but you saw one of Eddie’s lips twitch upwards for just a second. You gulped as you straightened up in your own stool. He was being honest with you, and maybe this time you could push rationality aside.

What’s wrong with some fun between friends?

“Me neither…”

The air in the room changed. It became heavy, almost humid, a tad suffocating. You saw his jaw clenching as he stared at you, and you couldn’t look away. It was almost as if he were hypnotizing you, telling you to come closer, to move towards him, but you remained seated, clearing your throat for him to continue the talk.

“Then, I guess we start establishing rules.” Your eyebrows raised in surprise to then squint at him in question as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on the counter, his plate in the middle, and his chin on top of his joined hands. You copied his stance, suddenly feeling as if this were some tense job meeting going on with him, a smirk breaking on his lips.

“Rules?”

“Yes. What we can and can’t do. What we like and what we don’t. And how we do this arrangement.” 

“How we do–” 

“If we schedule it for certain days, or if we simply call eachother up.” Oh. A pang of something stabbed you in the side of your stomach, feeling as if something was boiling inside of it.

“You seem experienced doing these kinds of arrangements.” He was looking at you with amusement in his eyes, his body starting to tremble with the need of touching you again for how you were acting once more with him.

“Jealous again?” You rolled your eyes as you shook your head.

“I am pointing out something that seems obvious, that’s all.” He hummed at your response. Bullshit, but this is not the time for some flirty bantering because it will end with you being railed into on top of this counter and the waffles you prepared on the floor.

“Okay, so, back to before, what’s it going to be?” He was curious for your answer, wondering if you were thinking the same thing he was. You bit the inside of your cheek in thought as you looked away from him to think. If you scheduled it, you would have a secured fuck once or twice per week… but if you two called eachother… maybe there’s more…

“I guess calling. It’s how I normally do it.” Oh you were a fucking– His jaw went to the side as he grinded his teeth together. He wasn’t going to be the only one pissed in here. 

“Good, same thought process.” You took a deep breath in as you controlled the burning anger inside your chest. So you were just a normal hook up to him, huh. You turned to look at him again, his eyes now more fierce than before and you felt a little smaller than you did seconds ago for whatever reason.

“What else?”

“Hmm… What we do and what we don’t.” Your eyebrows frowned for a second as you thought about that answer.

“Definitely not telling the group.” You remembered how Steve sighed of relief knowing you hadn’t slept with Eddie. It signaled you that you should never do it, yet here you are, having a talk with him on how to do this whole friends with benefits thing.

“Alright, I can agree on that one… Um, no acting awkward. Like I said I–” He wanted to be honest with you, feeling his heart clench in his chest as he pulled his arms back down, now pushing the plate away to cross them over the counter, leaning forward. “I want to keep the friendship with you. We have fun together and we laugh at what we send eachother and we talk about our days–”

“Yes.” You were happy. A small smile appeared on your lips as your shoulders lost the tension, putting your arms down and hands resting on your lap. He smiled back at you, leaning back again.

“Okay… Um… staying over?” It was an interesting question. He almost never spent nights with his hook ups, nor did he like them staying over, but he really does not mind it with you, in fact, he wants you to stay. Your hands felt sweaty all of a sudden as you flushed all over.

“I… don’t mind that.” He wanted to sigh of relief. It was two times in a row that you had woken up before him, and he really wanted to see you sleeping too. Wake up first to look at you for a while. He didn’t really know why he wanted to do that, but he was curious to know how you looked as you slept, and as you slowly woke up.

“Perfect… anything else?”

“Condoms are a must.” He rolled his eyes at you but nodded nonetheless. You were nervous at this other step, but since Eddie was probably going to be a very recurrent hook up– “And we need to get tested.”

“What?” He was shocked at your request, his eyebrows frowning in confusion as he stared at you. You took a nervous breath in and looked down at your lap as you played with your fingers.

“Yeah, I mean… It’s not like we are going to fuck once every two weeks…” He smirked at that, a chuckle escaping his lips.

“Damn Peach, how many times are you planning to fuck me per week?” You felt burning on your cheeks, on your whole face as your eyes shot back up to look at him.

“I– I– That’s not what I meant! But–” Fuck, you dug this hole all by yourself. He laughed at your reaction and continued talking.

“I never said I disliked the idea.” Your eyes connected with his and the air didn’t enter your lungs for about three seconds. Fuck, he has you wrapped around his fucking finger, doesn’t he. He continued talking after nodding once, “Fine. We both get checked.” 

You sighed in relief, giving a nod as well in appreciation to his answer. You were getting checked either way, your annual visit already coming up. But if you were completely honest… you didn’t see yourself fucking someone else other than Eddie for a long while… you knew no one could fuck you or fill you the way he did, and for now, you are becoming a tad addicted to it.

“Thank you.” You waited to see if there were any other conditions he would like to comment on, but you saw him thinking, maybe trying to remember anything he might have missed. He looked good while he was in thought. Fuck. 

“That’s that. What about what we like?” He looked back at you and you felt a little bold after this talk, a new surge of confidence coming in now that you know you have him and he has you for an indefinite time. 

“I guess we can find out along the way.” He felt a chill run down his arms as he stared at you, surprised by your response, yet he couldn't help the twitch that was happening inside his boxers. Oh he wants to find it all out. He wants to know everything, if you like to be smacked, choked, tied up, pulled, manhandled to his liking, but he already knows that. He remembers how he held you up against the wall and you were in complete bliss from it, or how he smacked you yesterday and even if you were surprised, you didn’t tell him to not do it again. 

He wondered if you would let him put his hand around your throat.

The waffles were forgotten as the temperature in the room got hotter each second that passed, at each stolen glance and each breath taken. The hunger was now for something else entirely, and for him, it was sitting right across, and in between a pair of thighs. So why not take it after everything was said and done?

He got up from the stool, your breathing quickening as you saw him slowly round the counter, his hand gracing the marble on top and his eyes never left yours. Your thighs clenched again, or maybe it was something else that clenched, because you started feeling hot with need. How could it be? Your thighs hurt from the position of yesterday night, and you were obviously oversensitive, and it will probably be a tad painful at first but–

“How about we start finding out, Peach?”

Fuck. Now that the barrier was gone, the line was completely erased, and the only thing you had to do was wrap your arms around his neck to get him, it only made your belly yell in need of him. You’re in deep shit now. You turned around in your stool to slowly open your legs for him to step in between. He smirked at the action, his mouth salivating at the invitation and he licked the inside of his bottom lip as one of his hands came to hold the side of your face, stepping in between your parted thighs.

You closed your eyes as you let his touch render you stupid even if for just a second and he tilted his head with amusement. You’re gonna be the fucking death of him. You opened your pretty eyes, begging silently for him to do something, anything at all. His hunger for you grew, and his face started getting close to yours as your hands went to hold onto his waist, your breaths mixing with one another’s and–

RING.

Your heads snapped towards the kitchen door, and you both frowned in confusion at it. Eddie slowly turned to you, a low whisper in his lips.

“Were you expecting someone–”

And then, the yell of a frantic Robin calling out your name, “ARE YOU IN THERE!? ARE YOU ALIVE!?”

Your eyes widened as you gasped, your hands slamming against your mouth and then Eddie stared at you alarmingly as you moved down from the stool, him pulling away from you as you two went to the living room to look at the front door. You whispered to him, but it was more like a silent yell.

“I don’t– I don’t remember inviting her–” Realization hit you like a train wreck. Last night. In the middle of your endeavors with Eddie, when taking the condom out of your purse you had seen your phone glinting with notifications… and you never charged your phone when you returned… and when you woke up, checking your phone was the least of your problems. “Oh, fuck–”

“Peach, you’re a fucking–” He made a movement as if he wanted to strangle you but he contained himself when more banging was heard, making him jump.

“I SWEAR TO GOD, I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE WITH SOMEONE IN THERE, BUT I’M COMING IN WITH MY SPARE KEY!” You gasped, pushing Eddie into your room, and your closet wasn’t big enough for a person to fit. You were both panicking and then you closed the door when you heard the lock of your front door being opened. 

“Don’t make a fucking sound!” You grabbed Eddie and threw him onto the bed, an oof coming out of him and before he could say anything, you immediately threw the comforter all over him. Your heart was in your throat as you heard Robin calling out your name in your living room. Act normal, for fuck sake act normal.

You got out of your room, tip toeing, pretending to close the door slowly, seeing Robin relax in her spot, her hand on her chest as she breathed heavily. You made a shushing sound as the door fully closed. You walked towards her, the vile lie appearing in your throat.

“What are you doing here!?” You whispered-yelled and she looked at you as if you had grown a second head, her eyes bulging out of her scalp as she waved her hands at you.

“Why the fuck are you whispering!? I haven’t heard from you since yesterday night! I know I was drunk but I remembered you left and–”

“Shh!!” You wildly signaled your door and she looked over your shoulder with a confused frown and then back at you, a whisper this time.

“Who the fuck is in there, and why the hell did you not answer!?” You rolled your eyes, sighing.

“I forgot because well, I was kind of you know… busy. And then I forgot to charge it and I just woke up.” Robin now raises an eyebrow at you, looking towards the kitchen, and then back at you. You felt like you were sweating all over as you awaited for her answer, begging for Eddie to not make a fucking sound from your room.

“I smell food though… Are you lying to me?” When did Robin become so observant? Fuck–

“Um… yeah I prepared them and went back to bed–” You saw how her eyes fixated on the door, her head cocking to the side and you felt your heart in your throat, pulsating, feeling your vein about to pop. Is she putting the pieces together?

“You left with Eddie last night.” Fuck– You felt your forehead sweating, your fingertips running cold as you started feeling the waffle swirling in your stomach.

“Yeah…?” You tried to sound confused, nonchalant, as much as you could.

“And he brought you home.” Her eyes were back on you, a squint appearing as you admitted defeat by now. You sighed and looked down, nodding at her. It was no use to lie to Robin anymore is there?

“Robs–” And suddenly Robin gasps, and you raise your head to look at her, your mouth opening to talk to her, but a cheeky smile appears on her lips, confusing you. Her voice now whispered as she pointed at your room’s door.

“Is that Jeff?”

Your eyes were wide as you stared at her. What…? How the fuck did she– Your lie. She thinks you actually did sleep with Jeff before, and she thinks… Oh, this is great. This can save your ass and Eddie’s in more ways than one. You pretended to shush her again, your eyes widening in faux worry.

“Lower your voice!” She giggled and rolled her eyes as she bit her bottom lip. She moved her eyebrows up and down, making your stomach turn and turn, not wanting her to ask any questions. 

“So Eddie is being your wingman?” You rolled your eyes and were about to speak– “Do you think he’ll stay for long? I want to stay to cure this hangover and I deserve your waffles for the worry you made me go through!”

You felt a cold sweat as nerves wracked you all over. She crossed her arms in front of her chest as you opened your mouth to protest, denying you from saying no. Fuck. Shit. You looked at your bedroom door and back at her nervously.

“He doesn’t know all of you know, just that Eddie knows!” 

“I’ll just stay in the kitchen! I won’t say hi to him or anything!” She giggled at you and you saw her walking to your kitchen and you felt your heart drop to your stomach. How the fuck are you going to pull this off? Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You rushed into your room, seeing Eddie pulling the blanket off of him, his hair all wild despite the bun. You were wincing as you looked around, not really knowing what to do while Eddie got up from the bed, still in his boxers and the shirt you lent him. He whispered to you once more as he looked at the door.

“What the fuck is going on, did Buckley leave?” He asked and you looked at him, shaking your head, biting your bottom lip.

“No… fuck, no, she didn’t and she won’t leave and is going to stay and–” You winced while looking at him, knowing he was going to be mad. “I told her Jeff was in my room…”

His eyes widened as he watched you in complete shock, his hands starting to wave around, not believing you lied with Jeff again instead of saying he was a random person. 

“Peach, what the fuck–”

“Think about it! If you ever say you are ‘taking me home’ and it’s just the two of us in the car, they will always believe you’re taking me to Jeff’s!” He couldn’t believe your lie, but he also couldn’t deny that it does make sense and that it works for the two of you. He didn’t fucking like it, he hated it. He hated that everything he did to you was going to be tarnished by Jeff’s image, and he groaned in distaste but nodded at you nonetheless.

“Fine. Fine. Now tell me how the fuck I’m supposed to get out of here! We know she is going to peek, so how the shit are we doing this!?” He was whisper/yelling and you bit the nail on your index finger, looking around and then at the door. An idea popped in your head, and it was risky, but it was the only solution, or the only viable way of escape for Eddie.

“Okay… okay… I’ll distract her, and you sneak out… I’ll try to make her not face the door.” He was looking at you, a fake smile appearing on his lips as he crossed his arms.

“What a great fucking plan!” He was being sarcastic and you glared at him, slapping his arm. 

“Any other good ideas!?” You saw him sighing and his head falling back, displaying his neck to you. This was not the time for you to stare at his veins, or the bite you left there the day before. You sighed and nodded, trying to look away from him to focus somewhere else. “Okay, I need to get out before she becomes suspicious…”

You saw him look back down and nod, sighing. Oh… shit, how are your greetings going to be? Do you… kiss him? You want to kiss him, but what if he thinks it’s weird? Should you wait for him to do it? What if he doesn’t do it? He was looking at you, his head slightly tilting to the side and your heart banged on your chest as you just looked at him, waiting.

And he realized it. You were expecting him and he wanted nothing more than to do that. He wanted to kiss you again the moment he woke up, hungry for you as the memories came back to him as consciousness was fully reincorporated in his mind again. He was a bit insecure, not knowing if this was a barrier for the two of you, something that is more intimate than just having sex. 

But it was kind of stupid to worry about that now, wasn’t it?

So he took a step towards you, and you felt your breathing cutting off as he got closer. You licked your lips absentmindedly and Eddie wanted to groan at the sight, devour them and Robin can go to hell for all he cares. He wants to throw you on the bed again and make you moan, scream, pant, but now he has to say goodbye to you and he fucking hates it.

His hand was about to reach for your waist when the two of you heard glass breaking and a yell. Your eyes widened as you two pulled back, looking behind you at the door as well as Eddie. He was worried but he couldn’t run out to check on Robin, but the itch was there, needing to make sure his friend was okay. 

“Okay, um– I’ll talk to you later, whatever happened I’ll take care of it and you use that to your advantage to sneak out.” You looked back at him and you two stared into each other's eyes in silence, waiting to see if a move was made, if one would take the leap to greet one another the way you both want to. 

But another yelp made you snap out and your worry made you turn around and motion for him all over your room for him to change. He gave you a quick nod, letting you know he got the message. You took a deep breath in as you quickly got out of the room, closing the door behind you and rushing to the kitchen to see Robin in the sink, her hand under it as water ran down, washing herself off. Her head turned over her shoulder, a sheepish smile on her lips.

“I uh… a glass slipped from my hand…”

“Did you… grab a waffle with your bare hand and use that same hand to grab the glass?” You said this as if this has happened before, and yes it has. Four times, at least those were the amount of times you were present at. Robin often forgot that waffles use butter on the pans so they wouldn’t stick. She whined and looked at you with helplessness. 

“Don’t make fun of me and help me! I picked up a shard and cut my finger…” She pouted at you and you already knew that it was the smallest thing ever, a splinter maybe. You walked towards her, avoiding the glass on the floor. You stood next to her, grabbing her wrist and taking it out from under the water to look at it. Yeah, you couldn’t even see it. 

“It’s just a little splinter Robin–”

“Still hurts!” She sounded like a child, but that’s just who your best friend was. You took this opportunity to sit her on the stool, her back facing the kitchen’s door. You turned on the light and grabbed her wrist again, putting the index finger closer to your eye. You really couldn’t see shit, so you pressed on it, making Robin yelp again. 

“It’s so tiny Robin, I can’t even see it!” She whined, her feet kicking a bit as she pouted at you.

“I can feel it!” You sighed, shaking your head at her.

“Okay, try to look for it yourself, you know where it hurts.” She nodded at you and she put her index finger close to her eye, inspecting it carefully with help of her other hand as you watched her. Out of your peripheral vision you saw a shadow and you looked up to see Eddie tiptoeing with his boots in his hand, now wearing the clothes from the night before. Your eyes widened as your heart beat rapidly in your chest. 

If Robin were to feel his presence and turn around, you’re both screwed– Eddie’s eyes widened as he motioned with his free hand the open door of the kitchen with a ‘Are you serious?’ face on and, okay, you were stupid leaving that open. He has all the right to be looking at you like you were a moron. You rolled your eyes and gave a strong tilt towards where your front door is. He looked at your front door and then back at you, making your heart skip a beat.

He made a motion with his free hand, as if he were texting on his phone and you nodded, getting the message. Robin’s head suddenly snapped up towards you and you felt the blood leave your face as she looked at you with a confused frown. Eddie’s eyes widened and froze in his place.

“What are you looking at?” She was about to turn her head and your hand went to grab her index finger and press, making Robin turn again towards you and yell, ripping her finger away from you, “OW! What is wrong with you!?”

“Just… trying to help?” Eddie gave you one more alarmed look and ran off. You were breathing heavily and then, the front door clicked and you finally relaxed, relief flooding your limbs. Robin’s eyebrows met in the middle as she snapped her head around and then back at you with her mouth opened and an offended gaze.

“Did he walk behind me and you distracted me!?”

You smiled innocently and shrugged, trying not to show just how nervous this whole situation made you. 

And you regretted not telling Eddie goodbye the way you wanted to.

It was as if nothing happened between the two of you.

Memes being sent, Eddie bashing on you for not changing your old car, and the only time you two talked about anything regarding what happened, was about Robin. He wanted to know if Robin had asked anything, or if she was suspicious about how ‘Jeff’ ran out like that. 

She was, but she still believed it was Jeff. You only told her that he is very shy, not a person that normally has a booty call, so he doesn’t know how to act about it. That was that. Then Eddie had sent you like forty tiktoks, and you sent back sixty.

That was how it was all week, and you liked it, but you didn’t at the same time. On wednesday you had gotten… needy. Your eyes lingered on your bed more than one time as you contemplated messaging Eddie. You had paced and thought about it, but the more you did, the more you lost confidence on actually pressing send. One of you has to break the ice with it, after all, you did say you would contact eachother if needed.

Yet it didn’t happen.

You wondered if it was going to be not as usual as you thought it was going to be. He did say he wasn’t against your comment on being a recurrent fuck, but now you couldn’t help but doubt it. You didn’t want it to be something that happened once per month, not even once every two weeks. You were hoping at least one fuck with him per week, and hopefully to not become addicted to it the more it happened… Now that you’re thinking about it, maybe it was a good thing to not have a recurrent fuck.

Now friday, you had invited them all for a movie night, and your nerves were there, but it was more of an anticipation, of the hope that he might stay back. Argyle and Eden were not coming, and Jonathan had to work, so it was just you, Robin, Steve, Nance and Eddie. You had worn something comfortable yet, tried to make it catching. A buttoned blouse that was flowing with the first three buttons open, your cleavage showing, and then it was tucked in your pants. 

It was casual but not too obvious for your friends to question your clothing choice. You wondered if he was as nervous, or as expectating as you were about tonight. You hoped he was. You have been yearning it heavily for a few days already, burning from inside out as you tried touching yourself to the memory of him, but nothing could satiate you. Only Eddie Munson could, and his huge fucking di–

Your doorbell rang, making you stop fixing the bowls of snacks on your coffee table. You had prepared some nachos, dips, pringles and wine. Yeah, everything looked fine. You gave a nod of encouragement and walked towards the door, expecting to see Steve, Robin and Nancy, knowing Steve was driving them, but when you opened the door you found a singular person, and it was the one you wanted to see the most.

“Hi Sweetheart.” 

Your heart skipped a beat, and he looked so good, making you already want to clench over nothing, with your imagination running wild, more than a rollercoaster would. You saw his breathing hitch, and you could swear you saw his nostrils flare up slightly, his pupils becoming darker, but maybe it was your stupid brain making things up because– you were so hungry.

“Hi Eds.” You moved out of the way to let him in and he gave a nod and walked in, his eyes never leaving yours and– Oh… you knew. He knew. He wasn’t leaving tonight, wasn’t he? You could feel it. The tension as soon as he walked in, how the air became heavy, how his eyes looked all over you, staying over your open blouse more than they should have.

You felt his cologne invade your nostrils, your lungs, and already your entire apartment smelled like him. You closed the door as you felt your heart about to burst in your chest and probably make you bleed from the inside out. You were already burning in your core and you wanted to curse at him from the effects he was causing on you by just walking through the door. 

You two had been talking like you always did, but as soon as you two saw eachother it was as if you were not that kind of friends at all. Not that you were disliking it, it was just new. You heard how he walked further in your house, and the last time that he was here, he was in your room, barely dressed, and then you two were almost about to go at it again before getting completely interrupted.

You turned to face him, seeing him taking his leather jacket off, revealing a tight white shirt on his body, making your throat close up on you. He never wore white, and you never realized how good it looked on him because it contrasted against all of his tattoos on his arms. His hair was on a low bun, his beard neatly cut, and he was sideways to you, letting you inspect him all, from head to toes, and yet–

“Checking me out already? Let a man breathe.” You blinked as you felt heat rushing to your cheeks, embarrassment running you over as your eyes fixated on him again. He was smirking your way, biting his bottom lip to contain a laugh, his eyes gleaming with something you could not decipher.

“It was weird seeing you with a white shirt on, that’s all Munson.” He raised his eyebrows and looked down on himself, giving you a nod and then looking back up at you.

“Wanted to try something new.” You couldn’t help but believe he did it to catch your attention, and he had succeeded. You cleared your throat as you felt your belly turning, the nerves taking over you as you didn’t really know how to act now. Normally? Flirty? Expectantly?

“Right, um… I’ll go get the cork screw for the wine.” You turned from him and walked inside the kitchen, taking a deep breath and hoping that would calm you down. You had to calm down. He was Eddie, still the same Eddie who you hated for a whole year, and the one you became friends and also the one you fucked– You bit your bottom lip as you walked towards your drawers, opening the third one, looking for the cork screw.

You frowned when you couldn’t find it, rummaging through it. You closed it and went to open the second one. You cursed when you couldn’t see it at first glance, and you were sure you put it in the drawers. You closed that drawer and opened the very first one, finally spotting it. You hummed in approval and reached to move the utensils out of the way in order to grab it, and then you froze when you felt a presence behind you.

“Running away from me so early in the night, Peach?” You gulped as you felt hands glide over your hips, fingers pressing against them, making your breath stop for a second. 

“I wasn’t– I just forgot to put this on the table–” You were breathless in each word you spoke and he couldn’t help but grin in victory at that. He was making you feel nervous, yet not uncomfortable. He knows it, but he will not do anything you do not want to do, not wanting to trust his senses only.

“Mhm… Do you want me to back off?” Your face warmed at how considerate he was, despite you two already having stated you wanted eachother to keep doing this. He was being respectful to you, first and foremost. You could feel your inner thighs burn, your core tense at the need, and you let your body speak for you, your ass gently brushing against his front. You heard him choke on his breath, a small smirk appearing on your lips.

“No. Not really…” His hands gripped your hips and made you flush against him, pressing you harder, and you wanted to moan at the closeness, and at the rising bulge that was on the curve of your ass. 

“Playing with fire darling.” His fingers moved, slowly and tentatively to your front. You closed your eyes as you took a deep breath in, taking in his touches as your hands remained still inside your drawer, the cork screw forgotten.

“As if you didn't like it, Munson.” You heard him chuckle, closer than before, his breath hitting your right ear. A shiver ran down your spine, your eyes opening as goosebumps covered your arms, your belly in flames as you finally clenched around nothing. 

“I never said I didn’t, did I?” His voice was low, rough, and with a hint of smugness that you have started to like. It was seductive, and it was making you almost tremble with need, wanting that voice to be moaning your name already. He was growing harder the more he held your hips, slowly moving to your thighs, and he wanted to dig his fingertips in and press you even harder against him, slide his hands between your thighs and make a mess out of you in the lapse of minutes.

He licked his lips as he looked over your neck, your earlobe, your jaw and he wanted to mark it more than anything else. Maybe he can have a taste, can’t he? He can smell your perfume, driving his mind insane, his bulge twitch even more than before, and this is going to be a problem, because he can’t help his mouth coming closer to your neck, and he knows he is going to grow even harder the moment he tastes you again.

You were holding your breath as you felt the hot air hitting your skin, your head tilting to the other side, unconsciously so, but yet it was a green light for him to do whatever he wanted. You are out of your mind, because your friends are about to arrive, and Eddie’s lips are already brushing against your pulse point and–

RING.

He groaned, or growled, loudly, his forehead falling to your shoulder in defeat as you whined in protest. Interrupted by the same thing once again. You should have just messaged Eddie for tonight. You shouldn’t have done this whole charade in order to see him again, and now you regretted telling your friends anything at all. You were being mean but… but fuck, you were so close to him and now you can’t help but feel even more desperate than before.

“Fuck…” He cursed with a sigh and you weren’t going to miss this chance. You weren’t going to let him leave tonight.

“We can continue this later…?” You asked and his head perked up from your shoulder, and you turned your head to look at him, your noses touching as your breaths mixed together in between the two of you. Your eyes were going up and down, his eyes, his lips, his eyes, his lips. You saw him slowly nod as his eyes were transfixed on your own lips, his mouth slightly open and you felt excitement bubble up inside of you, letting out a shaky breath out. 

He was leaning in, and he was so close, his plush lips brushing against yours only for the doorbell to ring again and for him to growl loudly, pulling away from you, his touch completely leaving you.

“I need to go to the bathroom because–” You blinked at his words and he pointed to his pants and your eyes followed his signal and–

“Oh.” You snorted and he glared at you at how cocky you were, knowing you had done this to him. He had a very noticeable bulge, not tented, but you couldn’t miss it.

“Yeah, you’re gonna pay for doing this when you knew people were coming over.” You rolled your eyes as you grabbed the corkscrew and closed the drawer, walking out of the kitchen with him following right behind you. 

“Sure, whatever you say.” He gave you a warning look before heading to your bathroom. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and put a hand on your chest. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You were putty in his hands and you didn’t notice how he made your knees tremble. Was he always this hot and you didn’t notice it? Did you dislike him so much you couldn’t see past it?

You couldn’t help but feel like you were missing out for a long time.

Knocks on the door interrupted your thought process, gasping as you remembered your friends, rushing to open the door for them. Steve, Nancy and Robin stood before you, Steve with a bottle of wine in his hand and a roll of his eyes.

“What took you so long?” He walked past you, followed by the two girls who were holding hands. 

“She was probably talking with Jeff.” Robin snickers, making you flush as you close the door, holding up the corkscrew to them.

“No, I was looking for this and Robin, can you stop making a big deal out of sex?” She rolled her eyes at you, taking the corkscrew out of your hands and moving to sit on the couch, grabbing your bottle of wine first to start opening it.

“Oh please, same hook up in the lapse of a week? Sounds serious to me.” You sighed and scoffed at that, though she was right. Your hookups were never the same. It was a person one week, another the next, never the same one two times in a row. Last time that happened, you started a relationship. 

Panic set in at that. No, that’s not happening. Not with Eddie, right? You don’t like him like that. Well, you didn’t like Billy like that either and you dated him later on because feelings developed without your will and– Fuck. No, you are thinking too much about this. You have to stop before your mind explodes and makes everything awkward. 

You heard the door of the bathroom open and everyone looked to see Eddie walking out, wiping his hands away, stopping in his tracks when he felt the eyes on him, a confused look on his face. 

“What?” The rest shrugged, paying it no mind and you had to hold in the sigh of relief of people simply not caring if he got here early. Good. You looked at Eddie with a side glance and he reciprocated it with a small nod, walking towards the couch to sit down next to Robin. “You need help Buckley?”

You saw how he helped Robin unscrew the bottle open, putting the bottle in between his thighs to pull the cork off, his bicep tightening as his face contorted with the strength he was putting in. You felt your center clench out of nowhere, heat radiating from your fingertips and you had to do something to take your mind away from him. You can’t believe you are getting hot and bothered by him opening a wine bottle. 

“So, what are we watching?” Steve asked as he sat down on the arm chair, moving his upper body to take a chip and dip it in the homemade guacamole you made. You saw how Nancy plopped on the floor, next to Robin’s legs, reaching over to grab a chip herself and just eat it like that. 

The remaining seat was on the edge, right next to Eddie. 

He was in the middle of the couch, giving the bottle back to Robin as you walked over to sit next to him, trying to calm your nerves now, feeling a little guilty. You are here with all your friends, fucking one of them, but the rest not knowing about it and will never know. You felt bad for Robin the most, but you honestly did not want to make a big deal about this, knowing it was just a physical relationship. You knew that they would either not like it and try to pry the two of you apart or… the opposite and you were not sure that could ever happen with Eddie.

“I want to watch Terrifier 3. It’s already in the streaming app.” Nancy mentions with her mouth full of chips as she caresses Robin’s calf. The strawberry haired girl was chugging the wine from her glass, probably out of nerves. After all this time, Robin still got nervous around her girlfriend. It was endearing.

“A scary movie?” You ask, already feeling a bit fidgety at the prospect of it, not being good with horror movies. Eddie was serving himself a glass of wine, a smirk on his lips as he looked at the pour.

“Don’t worry Peach, I’ll protect you from the evil clown.” You glared at him as Steve chuckled, shaking his head. For some reason, you started remembering the last time you two had talked about a scary movie together was… when you had hurt him calling him a freak. A weird person. When they went to see Evil Dead without you. He had accused you of being a scaredy cat, and you had gotten defensive about it and now…

“I’ll sacrifice you to save myself.” You joke, knowing damn well you would never do that. He chuckles, looking at you with a look only the two of you understand. An endearing one, caring, yet filled with fire behind the irises.

“You hurt me, baby.” Your eyes slightly widened at the pet name, hoping no one would think weird of it, also looking at him in warning to be careful with his words in front of your friends.

“Don’t fight you two.” Nancy giggles mockingly, and you see Eddie turning his head to laugh with her, and you just sit there perplexed at how no one suspects a thing. It means you two were never put together, in any way, by no one in the group.

“She’s the one who said was sacrificing me to a murderous clown to save herself!” He exclaims and that makes you roll your eyes, grabbing a chip and dipping it into the sour cream.

“I never said you were dying, Munson.” The chip went into your mouth as he looked back at you, and a drop of cream was on the corner of your lips. You wiped it off with your thumb, your tongue coming out to lick it, making sure you were taking everything into your mouth. You heard a low grumble on your left, and you turned your head to see Eddie glaring at you, his jaw tense, and you were confused, looking around to see if something happened.

“Don’t play fucking dumb.” He whispered as the other three talked and browsed to get the movie on your TV. You blinked, confused at his words, but then– You looked at your thumb and then you couldn’t help but snort, catching Steve’s attention.

“What’s funny?” You cleared your throat and shook your head.

“Nothing, just something I remembered.” Eddie was still glaring at you, his insides burning as he tried to take his mind somewhere else, and try to avoid thinking about your tongue around his dick. He turned to the TV screen, crossing his arms as he huffed. You were riling him up without you knowing, a fluttering happening in the pit of your stomach knowing he was looking at you no matter what.

Your heart dropped though once you saw the intro for the horror movie coming up and you looked to your side to grab onto your blanket. It doesn’t matter if it was hot or not, but the blanket brought you comfort, and it made you feel a little bit safer. Everytime you watched horror or sad movies, you put a blanket on you, and this time was no different, placing it on top of your legs.

Nancy shot up from the floor to rush and turn off the lights, a soft chattering happening between the group as the movie started playing and she returned to sit on Robin’s lap as she cuddled up to her. You wished you could do that right now, wanting to feel secure against someone again as you watched these things, just like when you were with– Before dark clouds possessed you, you grabbed some chips and pooled them on your palm so you could eat them as the movie played.

You felt your heart beating faster than usual, afraid a jumpscare would happen sooner or later, and you definitely did not like the creepy smile this clown had. You were squinting, trying to avoid seeing most of the scenes, and then you felt your blanket moving, making you jump and look at Eddie.

“Just wanted some of this.” He moved the blanket so he could now place part of it over his own lap, sharing it with you. For some reason you felt like this was his way of making you feel safer, knowing you weren’t good with this kind of film. He could sense how uncomfortable you were, and he couldn’t help but feel bad for you. His mind went to the same memory you had of a year ago, and he now could see you just didn’t want to be left out, despite you having these kinds of reactions to movies like these.

But he couldn’t wrap his arm around you. Even if everyone accepted your relationship as friends, he didn’t know just how weird it would look to them if he did something like that. He flinched when you yourself jumped at a very small jumpscare, and Steve turned his head to look at you, remote in his hand.

“Hey, do you want to watch something else?” Your heart warmed at how he cared but you still shook your head at that, a nervous smile spreading on your lips.

“It’s just a movie, don’t worry.” He gave a nod and put the remote back down, moving his body to lay on the armchair sideways, head on an arm rest while his legs and feet dangled over the other. You could feel Eddie’s gaze on you and you turned to look at him as well. He gave a raise of eyebrows at you, a silent question if you were okay. You gave him a nod and sighed softly, your eyes returning to the screen in front of you.

The minutes went by and you noticed the movie had… gore. Too much gore in it. It wasn’t even the jumpscares that got you anymore, it was the anxious feeling of what he might do to the protagonists. Steve, Robin and Nancy were softly talking about the effects of the movie, while you were just trying to look away from the screen as much as you could because, fuck that. You didn’t care this was strawberry syrup or whatever the fuck the other three were saying, you didn’t like it.

Suddenly, you felt something creeping over your thigh and under the blanket. You flinched, thinking it was a bug, only to feel a strong grip of fingers digging into you. Your breathing stopped as you gave Eddie a quick warning glance and the bastard was eating a chip with his other hand, his eyes still trained to the screen. Your heart was beating in your throat as you felt nervousness invade you, afraid the others would notice it at all, but as you gave a subtle glance their way, their eyes were trained to the screen, still immersed in the conversation.

You weren’t even listening to them, the movie now just a background picture and noise as you stared forward, and his fingers rubbed your thigh in soft and slow circles. You felt shivers run down your entire body, electricity coursing through your veins and arteries as you tried to control your breathing, feeling it start to become quicker.

What was he doing? Why? You two were in front of everyone, and he is just touching you like this and hope they never look your way? Okay, it was nothing bad, he was just rubbing your thigh, that was all. He was just trying to distract you from the screen that was showing off great amounts of blood and guts, but you didn’t even try to comprehend why or how that happened. Maybe that was his intention, and that made you slowly relax. You have to remember Eddie is your friend, first and foremost, so it’s probably him being that friend for you right now.

But as soon as you were beginning to relax, you felt those fingers move slowly, creeping towards the inner part of your thighs. You held a breath in, the situation becoming even more dangerous than before because– You’re getting worked up. The idea of your friends being here, not knowing what had transpired between the two of you, and now sneaking touches between eachother without them finding out was… exciting.

Your legs were parted, just very little, but it was enough for him to get his fingers in between, and press against your inner thigh, making you choke a bit on your breath, but playing it off as a cough. You heard him chuckle under his breath and your head snapped to glare at him and he was already side-eying you, a cheeky smile on his lips. 

You clenched your thighs together, trapping his fingers in. You were feeling like you had to compete against him, to make him be as worked up as you were right now. He tried wiggling his fingers between your thighs but you kept him locked in there. He wasn’t complaining about it, feeling the warmth of your legs around his fingers, and he could pretend that was the same temperature as the warmth he could feel inside of you. 

But he wasn’t prepared when you moved your own hand this time, and without wasting a minute, you placed it between his parted legs, your fingers digging into his inner thigh, cutting his breath short. He was trying to keep his eyes on the screen, glancing towards his other friends just in case they moved or looked your way and his, but as soon as he looked away from you, he felt your entire palm rub against him, over his pants. He twitched, and your hand rapidly backed away as your thighs let his hand go as well and he put it back on his side.

Nancy looked over Robin’s head to talk to Eddie, “You scared Eddie?” She giggled and you snorted again, taking a chip into your mouth as Eddie felt himself burning inside out, his words coming out from gritted teeth.

“No, just had a twitch.” Oh you were going to get it after this. His fingers tingle with the need to touch you again, to keep his hand over your warm body, to pull you close and kiss you senseless to the point you couldn’t breathe anymore. He wanted to render you stupid, speechless, babbling nonsense to him and he wouldn’t be able to help himself and smile at you. 

He’s going to make sure to see that after everyone is gone.

The rest of the movie was spent in silence, and no more hand touches. You rubbed your thigh against his every now and then, to keep you distracted from the movie, or to rile him up, you didn’t know, maybe both. You were growing impatient with each minute that passed from the movie, needing to be alone with him once and for all, so when the credits started rolling up, you were so glad to the point you could sigh of relief.

“That wasn’t so bad.” Robin says as she finishes her glass of wine and Nancy gets off her lap to stand up and stretch. You clear your throat and take the blanket off your lap and Eddie’s, throwing it next to the couch and into the basket.

“I don’t know, but I ain’t watching something like that again.” You comment, leaning back on your couch as if exhausted from having to endure that film, but in all honesty, you were sighing of finally getting what you want after two excruciating hours. 

“Hey, Eds?” Steve calls out to him, and Eddie didn’t realize he was looking at the expanse of your neck, and his head snapped to look at his best friend, trying to play it off as if he had zoned out.

“Yeah?” 

“Can you take Nance and Robs back home? I need to go help Jon at the bar because one of the waiters had to leave early and he needs help closing.” 

And you felt your whole body freeze over as well as Eddie’s. Your fucking plans were ruined. He was going to leave, or maybe he could return? Or maybe he didn’t want to drive twenty minutes to leave the girls and then twenty minutes back. This was not fair.

Eddie wasn’t far behind at your thoughts, but he was being more explicit. He was cursing at everything and everyone, wanting to make up an excuse in order to stay but he knows there’s no way out of this, Nancy and Robin smiling innocently at him, batting their eyelashes so he wouldn’t be mad at them. He sighed, giving a slow nod and your body slumped in defeat. 

“Yeah, sure. You girls want to go already?” He asks, and you feel your stomach turn with disappointment, knowing you are going to be met with your pink vibrating friend in your bed instead of the actual thing you want. 

“Please? I want to go straight to bed.” Robin says as she gets up, a little wobbly thanks to the wine, and you follow right behind her, stacking the empty small bowls of snacks on the coffee table as they get ready to head out again. You turn your head over your shoulder to see Eddie looking at you with a frown in his eyebrows, and you give him a small shrug as if telling him ‘it can’t be helped’.

You wished it could be. You wished he could stay tonight, but you guess you can wait tomorrow? Or maybe he will be busy tomorrow too? You can definitely message him and ask, you just have to wait a whole 24 hours to actually know that answer. You didn’t want to wait that long. You should have fucking told him to come an hour early than all the others so you could at least have a quickie in your kitchen counter.

You wanted to groan when you felt a bit of heat in your underwear, your wetness becoming present as your imagination ran wild. You didn’t notice the man that was next to you, staring at you as if he was going to murder you, or eat you, or simply destroy you. His chest was moving a little quicker than before, signaling the sudden increase of pace of his breathing.

“Let’s go, I want to fucking sleep until next year.” You heard Nancy say and you looked towards Eddie, a frown in his face as he stared at you already. You fought off the disappointment and gave him a small shrug. It can’t be helped. It will have to be postponed to another day. You will have to hold your hunger for one more day, or a few more, and maybe you shouldn’t have to if you had messaged him two days ago.

He gave an exasperated sigh, and he held back the angry groan he wanted to let out. You walked towards the front door, opening it as Steve gave you a nod in thanks for hosting tonight as he walked out, followed by Robin, Nancy and lastly Eddie. You two held the gaze as he stepped by you, and time went slower as you felt your ears ringing, a ring that was yelling at you to somehow make him stay, but– it was too obvious if you did.

He sent a small smile your way and then time began its normal pace once again. You didn’t know you were holding a breath until you actually let it out. You popped your head out as you saw them all heading towards the elevator, waving at them one last time. Eddie raised his hand in a quick moment in response and Robin blew a kiss your way. You gave a small smile in return before hearing the elevator ding and you closed the door, a defeated sigh leaving your lips.

You felt wrong for thinking only about getting railed when most of your friends were here to have fun, to watch a movie with you, to spend time with you, and the only thing you could think of was the one person that was sitting next to you throughout the whole film. You turned towards the coffee table, walking towards it to continue cleaning only to see a pair of keys sitting next to Eddie’s glass. Your eyes widened when you saw they were his car keys, grabbing them quickly, and cursing under your breath.

“This fucking idiot!” You put your phone in the back pocket of your pants and you rushed towards your front door, opening it so you could run out to try to catch them, but you stopped on your tracks when you saw Eddie standing in front of your home. Your eyes widened as your heart stopped for a second, watching him breathing heavily. “You– You forgot–”

You couldn’t finish the sentence. His right hand grabbed onto the back of your neck while the left one held your waist, pulling you inside your apartment again and quickly turning you and slamming you against the wall next to your door, his lips clashing onto yours in a hurried manner, rough, needy and desperate.

You didn’t waste a fucking second, dropping his keys to the floor and your hands immediately clung to the back of his neck to press him more into you as you both moved your lips against eachother as if you had never tasted one another, or as if you were relapsing into a drug you were once addicted to. His tongue slipped past your lips in an instant, clashing with yours and you let him ravish you just how you wanted him to do for a week now. The hand on your waist was gripping you tightly, his hips pressing against your own and you let a groan enter his mouth which he responded with a low moan.

His hand moved from your waist towards your back in order to cup your ass, and you instinctively moved your right leg over his hip, letting him press himself right against your core. You moaned into the kiss, and he could only groan as the smacking of lips filled the room entirely. His hand went from your ass to holding your thigh against him, his pants growing tighter at each roll of the hips he does into you. The seam of your pants making the friction on your clit be simply murderous. 

His tongue danced with yours, devouring every inch and space that there could possibly be. You felt your body burning, your fingertips felt like they had embers, just sending shockwaves all over your spine. Your belly was filled with adrenaline and excitement, but it was cut short when rationality struck you for a second, making you reluctantly pull away, leaving you both breathless as he held your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze before you spoke again.

“You left your keys–”

“Yeah, I know. I did it on purpose. It was my excuse to come back here.” He gave you a soft peck on the lips before continuing. “I made them head down while I picked the keys up again.” 

You felt your heart bursting, biting your bottom lip as you looked at him, your hands still clinging to the back of his head as if your life depended on it. You didn’t want to let him go, but, by what he was saying, it seems this had to be cut short. He slowly put your leg back down, not before giving it a squeeze and then let it rest on your hip. His other hand went from the back of your neck to put his curled index finger under your chin to keep your eyes on him.

“So… you have to go?” Your eyes went to his lips and back up and back to his lips again. His breath was mixing with yours as you two remained with slightly open mouths, soft pants leaving you. He gave you a nod, a serious look in his eyes as he replied.

“I’ll take them home and come back here… do you want that?” Your thighs clenched together, your core pulsating with the prospect of him returning to you. You desperately nodded at him, pulling him down for another kiss, not understanding how you were so reluctant to not be with him just a week ago before you exploded, and now you are declaring Eddie Munson as your new favorite drug, your favorite beverage, a perfect addiction. You pulled away, but not before giving a soft bite and tug on his bottom lip, making him growl in need at you.

“Yeah… I’ll wait for you.” His hands quickly cradled your face, giving you one strong last kiss. Well, that is until he returns from dropping Robin and Nancy. He pulled away from you, giving a nod as he let go of your face and your hands dropped from holding him.

“I’ll do record time–” He bent down to pick his keys on the floor and raised himself back up, fixing himself in his pants and you salivated as you saw the prominent bulge that developed on him. “So be ready for when I come back, Peach. Don’t think I forgot how much you teased me today.” 

With that, he walked right back out of your apartment and you heard the boots walking away in your hallway and you just stood there, breathing heavily as his words processed in your brain. He would come back here and your body shook with the anticipation of what he might do to you after that small threat he gave you. You heard the elevator ding and you know he is finally going down again, your feet finally working to close the door of your apartment. 

You stared at the door and all the guilt and shame you felt before was out of the window. The only things that remained were adrenaline and excitement, your body moving, rushing towards your room to make sure everything was tidy just as you had prepared. The black lace underneath your clothes waiting to surprise him as soon as he takes the garments off. Or maybe… you can wait for him in just that. You bit your bottom lip as you started taking your blouse off, followed by your sneakers and then your pants, looking at the full body mirror in your room.

You wanted to be filthy. You wanted to be rough. For some reason, you wanted to make him remember you. Make him remember the woman that waited for him in just her lace, ready for him. The woman who could, in his words, take him all. You still don’t know why he always repeats it, but he does, and if he was being honest or not, or if they were meaningless words or not, you didn’t know, but you’ll take the compliment. You wanted him to remember you because you wanted to engrave himself in his mind. Maybe it was ego, maybe it was dignity, maybe it was you trying to show off thanks to how snarky he had been with you for a whole year.

Whatever the reason was. 

You wanted to ruin Eddie Munson.

end of chapter 19

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Taglist is closed! I will start deleting people that do not interact with my posts.

REPOSTED CAUSE MY DUMBASS DELETED IT

[lucy90712]

Thunderstorms- Gavi

The loudest clap of thunder I think I've ever heard woke me very suddenly from what was a great dream from what I remember. Shortly after the thunder the room was lit up with multiple bolts of lightening. That's when I knew I'd be awake until the storm passed I've always been scared of storms so unless I sleep through them I spend the entire time awake usually shaking slightly. It's such an irrational fear but I can't help but be scared although I have never told anyone that I'm so scared of storms because I don't want to deal with the teasing. My parents know that I used to be scared of storms but I imagine they think I've grown out of it which I wish I had but outside of that I haven't told anyone even my boyfriend. 

Another clap of thunder made me jump while Pablo slept soundly beside me. That man can sleep through anything I swear, he's slept through fireworks literally next door, thunderstorms and everything else that would wake a normal human being. I know he won't wake up on his own but I'm definitely not going to wake him as I don't want him to laugh at me at least not right now. Instead I just tried my best to get close to him as he slept in hopes that would help me sleep as cuddling with him usually helps me sleep. I shut my eyes and tried to relax but the constant noise and light was always on my mind so I couldn't let myself relax. My hands were still shaking and I could feel my heart rate jump every time there was more thunder. I know breathing techniques are supposed to help calm you down but even those weren't settling my nerves. All I wanted to do was shut myself in a dark room where I couldn't see or hear anything but that's not possible I have to stay here and try and sleep.

Cuddling into Pablo's side didn't help me one bit so I gave up and just kept tossing and turning which made Pablo start to stir. I stopped moving in hopes that he'd just go back to sleep but he kept stirring until his eyes opened. Some more thunder came and I tried so hard not to move or make a noise but the longer it went on and the louder it got I couldn't stop myself making a small noise out of fear. That definitely gave away that I wasn't sleeping as I felt Pablo turn over in bed and his arm touched my waist. 

"It's ok I've got you" he whispered in my ear as he pulled me into his chest 

"I'm fine" I said trying to convince myself more than him 

"You don't have to pretend baby I know you're scared but I'm right here to keep you safe" he said 

"How did you know?" I asked

"I see the way you always tense up when there's a storm and I could see you shaking" he said 

"But you've never made fun of me it's such a stupid fear if you knew why did you never tease me about it" I questioned 

"Why would I make fun of you it's not a stupid fear and even if it was there's no way I'd make fun of you I just want to make you feel better you could be scared of apples and I'd still do everything I can to protect you so thats what I'm going to do so remember if you are scared just tell me I'll be there for you like you are for me" he said 

"Thank you but apples really" I laughed 

"That's just the first thing that came to mind but you get the point" he smiled 

He decided to keep listing random things I could be scared off that he wouldn't make fun of me for while stroking my hair and back to relax me. This list got more and more ridiculous until he said that if I was scared of footballs we would have a problem but he'd still find a way to love me which made me laugh. I think his aim was to distract me and it was working as just listening to him talk as he rubbed my back was making me feel tired again. 

Just as I was starting to fall sleep some more thunder made me jump so Pablo came up with a new idea every time there was thunder or lightning he pressed a soft kiss to either my hair or my forehead. He kept talking and giving me kisses until I was struggling to keep my eyes open and I gave in and let sleep consume me. Being able to fall asleep during a storm is a big thing for me but it's only because Pablo is by my side. Him knowing about my fear is actually a huge weight off my shoulders especially knowing he won't tease me for it being able to turn to turn to him when I'm scared will really help me. 

[annerly-san]

Caleb's Split Personality with Light

First off: OMG YAYYY! CALEB'S BACK!!! MY APPLE BOI HAS RETURNED HOMEEEE! <3

secondly: DOES THIS MAN HAVE SPLIT PERSONALITIES?!?!? HOLY MOLY IVE BEEN HYPER ANALYZING EVERY LAST BIT OF DETAIL IN THE CONTENT RELEASED

Not only do I think he has this split personality (Astrology girlies, Caleb is a Gemini, so help me out in the comments lol), but I think that his personalities are also triggered/toggled via light.

In the trailer and teasers, we see a lot of the dichotomy between his "old/nice/restrained" self and this "darker/possessive" self. In some screenshots of the Homecoming Wings Trailer, we can see how his character model sometimes is shown with two separate halves, overlaid with different images, etc.

Caleb with Different Personalities/Halves:

This is an AMAZING shot where you can see one side of his face and his eyes glimmering brightly and the other one is a bit darker and obscured in shadow - showcasing the duality of this manlight and dark caleb in the teaser live stream, set up via the video transition and composition

The way that the video and scene is set up is very intentional to show us that this is the boy we did know (he's in there somewhere) but he's also different and a lot darker. Or there's also the duality in which Caleb has a side where he's restraining and holding back and then a side where he's let go and is just super possessive and controlling. The trailer has him saying things like: "I've always held myself back and endured" and then "It was suffocating"

Look at this one from his Farspace Bloomfall card too!

Voice Fluctuations:

This is very apparent in his voice lines as well! I personally really like his English VA; he does a really good job in differentiating between the more upbeat/easy going tones and the darker and more raspy tones when Caleb "switches" between personas.

If you listen to the trailers and even the 5-star memories, the VA sounds different depending on the context and who you're talking to. He sounds more soft spoken when saying things like "I'm back." or "Let's go home" vs "In the Farspace Fleet, there are only soldiers and officers"

(ya girl fell in love with Caleb chapter 1 during the phone call so Im a big fan of his english VA)

Light Trigger:

His personality/motive/etc seems to switch depending on light as well.The scene right before he says "I'm back" and is more kindFarspace bloomfall memory 1/2 where he's cold at first and then you see the light shiningFarspace Bloomfall memory 2/2 where he then softens after that light appearanceIn chapter 4 where Caleb's trying to be more protective of MC and then like holds back/gives up after the light shines by

Light is definitely symbolic or something that switches Caleb's personality/motive around since we see it CONSTANTLY in the main story, teasers, memories, etc. I think that this was something that was already a part of him (perhaps trained in or done as a child) but the extremity of his personality got more severe after the explosion happened.

Breakdown of these instances lol:

Chapter 4: Caleb was angry/possessive because MC got hurt (light happens) -> Caleb tells her to forget it and is clearly holding back after the light shines

Interrogation/Test in Farspace Fleet base: Really cold and stern; telling her to not get into trouble and obey orders (overhead light)-> Smiles at her after the lights above flickers and holds her hand, saying "It's me, I'm back"

Farspace Bloomfall Card: Cold: "If I don't show concern as someone close to you, it doesn't count as being genuine?" (light again) -> Soft and sad: "You can't convince yourself to hate me"

Conclusion:

SO in conclusion, this poor apple boi has some severe personality switching going on that's triggered by light and it's not something that happened as a result of Ever experimenting on him post-chapter 4. I think that it just got more severe after whatever happened to him on skyhaven in the farspace fleet.

Thanks for coming to my super analysis of Caleb content: i am dying in anticipation of the 22nd (literally have been crying nonstop since the livestream lol)

[starlightsuffered]

Forbidden (the end)

Info - pretending to be kidnapped, brother sacrificing happiness for you, unprotected sex, love making, guilt, sucking fingers, PDA, feeding food, mentions of war and murder

"My love, I have some bad news," Hal told me gently. We'd been married in the night, with a few friends. The stars had celebrated our love. I'd been crowned Queen the next week. There were no messages or gifts from my family.

"What is it?" I asked him. It's been odd that he hadn't been beside me in the morning to take me once before breakfast.

"I got word early this morning that your brother is back from his trip abroad. He's heard of your departure, and is not happy."

"Abril is back?" I asked. My brother and I had always been close. He'd gone on a trip to the outer kingdoms for a year. Knowing he was back was exciting. I could tell him he may be an uncle soon as Hal and I had decided to start trying.

"I know you love him, but we may need to keep up appearances. You may have to play a role..." he trailed off.

"What kind of role?"

"The one of pet," he cringed.

He explained to me that I might've been able to convince Abril of our love. but the men coming with him would most likely be some that had seen him storm the throne room. He figured I needed to keep up appearances as captured.

"I don't know Hal," I said as I sat on his lap in an incredibly revealing dress.

"Wouldn't the kingdom understand that my father is a tyrant who wouldn't let us get married," I asked.

"I can't risk that angel. If they find out he had me thrown from his castle, naked, how would they respect me. They would have thought I should have started a war for you. You wouldn't want that, I didn't want to kill any more of your people than needed. It's better they think you a brave stolen princess, and me a harsh evil king than entering into a war. You know I'd have to kill your father to win.

"Thank you for being so kind, I'm just worried. I left behind my people. Who will protect them now?"

"Abril?" Timothée asked.

"I am older than him, I suppose he'll be offered the crown now, but he's never wanted it. He doesn't want marriage."

"I'm sorry you fell for such a difficult man my dear," he said, and kissed my throat.

"No, don't be sorry. I'd trade the world for you and then some. My king," I said in a low voice.

"You know it does things to me when you call me that. I used to hate it, but from you it lights a wild fire inside me," he sighed.

"The Queen's brother approaches!" Announced a guard.

Abril came in angrily. He was stalking. His hair was longer, and he was tanner, but not much else had changed.

"Well, well, the first visit from my Queen's family," Hal purred.

"Hungry love?" He asked me. I nodded solemnly, as if I were trapped. He fed me a slice of apple and chuckled.

"What is this, my sister is a strong princess of our country, not some lap dog," Abril snapped.

"Mmm, I'm getting a bit riled up from this talk. I need calmed. Y/n, suck," he said and gave me his fingers, bejeweled with rings. I had to force myself not to moan at the idea. I secretly loved the way he was acting. Knowing he secretly adored me and would crawl through broken glass for me, but could also treat me like a toy and order me around.

"Stop forcing her into this," Abril snapped.

"My Queen," he said into the skin of my neck, and his hand massaged my inner thigh, dangerously close to my heat. I couldn't help the whine I let out. I couldn't believe he was doing this in front of my brother.

"Are you unhappy? Am I forcing you into anything?"

"No," I spoke over his fingers.

"I want to talk to my sister alone," he demanded.

"Yes," I said to Hal's shock. I removed myself from him and got up gracefully. I led Abril away from his men.

"I missed you," he said giving me a hug.

"I missed you too," I said.

"What is going on here. I don't understand, this isn't like you," he said. I made a decision.

"I love him. I've been in love with him for years. Dad wouldn't let me be with him because I was engaged. He caught us and kept us apart. I wasn't okay. I couldn't take being apart from him. He pretended I stole a valuable ring when he actually gave it to me. It was how he took me. I'm in full control. He'd never hurt me. He loves me. We are soulmates," I explained emotionally.

"I believe you," he whispered. "I know what father wants. That family, they do a lot for the kingdom. They have a daughter..."

"Abril no, please, don't throw away your life for me. You've never wanted the crown or marriage," I said.

"I've been free my whole life. You've always had to be the strong one, but I've done whatever I wanted. Let me do this for you. As a man, I'll have a lot more Liberty, you know it," he said.

"Abril," I sighed.

"No, I'm going to do it anyway. I have never seen you this happy. I care about your happiness.”

"Abril, thank you," I cried and pulled him into a hug. When they left I sobbed in Hal's arms.

"He said he'd do it no matter what. My love, don't feel guilty," he begged.

"I don't, that's the issue, I'm so so happy. I love you and everything is fixed," I said tearily. "I should feel awful, but I'm so happy."

"I love you," he said gently.

"Can we make love?" I asked. He pushed into me moments later. He began to pump inside me.

"My Queen, you deserve the world I'm sorry I can only give you a kingdom," he whispered.

"Your heart is all I need," I smiled.

"I never thought I'd have someone like you," he said and I heard the emotions in his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"I was a party boy, a drunk, forced to be king. I didn't deserve shit, but I got the best thing," he said and kissed me so tenderly I could've cried too.

"I adore you more than anything," I said. "I can't wait for life with you. Every little thing, I need it all."

"I'm close," he murmured.

"Me too," I cried. Soon we came together and fireworks exploded. We were perfect and meant to be, and we would rule together.

"Never be forbidden to me again," I murmured to him.

"If I'm wholly yours, how can I be forbidden?"