#don't open till christmas

[666frames]

Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

[goryhorroor]

christmas horror + title cards

[pierppasolini]

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984) // dir. Edmund Purdom

[videoevil]

[horrororman]

🎅🏽🩸#DontOpentillChristmas #thelastdrivein #mutantfam #Killmas #GhoultideGetTogether #horror #Shudder 🎄🔪

[splatteronmywalls]

[davealmost]

Don’t Open Till Christmas

[bitter69uk]

Recommended festive viewing: Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984). Tagline: "... t'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring … they were all dead!”

In this absolutely putrid, cheerfully inept British slasher movie, Scotland Yard is hot on the trail of a masked serial killer brutally slaying anyone who dares to wear a Santa Claus costume. You know Don’t Open is going to be fun from the opening segment in which the killer interrupts a couple having sex in a car and the man shouts, “Go awn - fack orf!” The version on YouTube is pretty much complete except for the scene with a photo shoot featuring a busty topless glamor model (in the tradition of The Sun’s “Page Three Stunnas”). That sequence is edited to hell (repeatedly cutting off dialogue mid-sentence) to ensure we never catch a glimpse of her “raspberry ripples” – but all the gruesome blood-splattering and dismemberment is intact! A real insight into YouTube’s priorities. Anyway, the glimpses of London in the early eighties (especially Portobello Market, the West End and Holland Park) are fascinating and watch for iconic horror movie starlet Caroline Munro’s musical number. Sure, the acting and directing are appalling, but Don’t Open Till Christmas offers heart-warming seasonal viewing for the whole family. (No, seriously – DON’T!).

[amazingmrcinema007]

Man, Don't Open Till Christmas is a pretty messy film and I'm not talking about some of the mean-spirited kills either. I can feel the unrest behind the scenes that went on between the producers and Edmund Purdom which resulted in Purdom quitting the film, the writer stepping up to direct for two days, then having the editor, Ray Selfie step up to direct and a bunch of the script being rewritten by another guy before Purdom eventually came back.

The story feels pretty disjointed. The twist that the killer was the inspector's brother who escaped from a mental hospital begs the question why the inspector didn't figure out his identity sooner since a housekeeper tells our apparent heroine that he visits the hospital once a month to see him. He should've known something was up. Some characters get recast since other actors weren't available for reshoots and the film just ends abruptly.

[thenefilim]

Review - Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

I can’t say Don't Open Till Christmas is a good film, but it’s far from boring and actually manages to be quite entertaining in a sleazy and perverse way.

https://www.voicesfromthebalcony.com/2023/12/25/dont-open-till-christmas-1984-review/

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Don't Open Till Christmas (Purdom, 1984)

This is directed by Edmund Purdom, star of such unimpeachable classics as Pieces and Absurd, the former of which shares with this the distinction of being a Dick Randall production. Apparently this was a troubled production, with Purdom leaving the film at one point, but as he later returned to finish it, I will assume the finished film reflected enough of his vision. I will not claim that Purdom is one of the great actor-turned-directors, or even a particularly good one, but from the results it seems that he understands the assignment, in that he delivers a slasher where the slashing happens at regular intervals and in graphic enough detail.

The gimmick here is that the victims are all dressed as Santa Claus, leading me to believe this is what the dumbest people you know mean when they froth at the mouth about the supposed War on Christmas. So it isn't just anybody getting killed, but Santa Clauses being killed by the dozens. One Santa Claus after another getting stabbed with knives, sliced with meat cleavers, fatally poked and prodded and what have you. One Santa Claus has a particularly unpleasant death in a bathroom, when a killer uses a straight razor to slice off his "yuletide log". This is one moment where Purdom exercises some restraint, as you do not see the "yuletide log" onscreen. You do not even hear Santa scream "Ow, my wang!" in agony as he fumbles with his bloodied "yuletide log" in his hands, scrambling to get to the hospital in time so they can re-attach it through the wonders of medical science. These things do not happen in the finished film.

I'm not gonna reveal the killer's motivations, although if like me you don't celebrate and find some of the commercialized Christmas cheer stuffed down our throats performative and obnoxious, you might sympathize with his actions. But you shouldn't, because need I remind you that murder is WRONG. Also, on top of killing countless Santa Clauses, he kidnaps a sex worker and lectures her about her line of work. Stick to killing Santa Clauses and leave your moralizing at home, pal.

Anyway, this isn't really a good movie, but it does deliver the goods like I said, and the footage of '80s London is pretty neat. I guess you could say that living under Thatcher was like seeing Santa Claus stabbed countless times, if you wanted to get political. There's also a fun musical number with Caroline Munro, who has sparkly hair on top of a sparkly outfit and demonstrates her talents as a scream queen. Also, there's a blind woman who I swear was played by Paula Meadows, although she does not appear to be credited. Maybe it was someone who looked similar, but I'd like to pretend it was her. Sadly she does not wear a bow tie like she did in Good Girls, Bad Girls.

[darktripz]

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: Somebody with very little Christmas spirit is killing anyone in a Santa suit one London holiday season, and Scotland Yard has to stop him before he makes his exploits an annual tradition

mod chris can't find out how to bold this text but is very interested in this movie and it will definitely go on the watchlist

[pierppasolini]

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984) // dir. Edmund Purdom

[t-800]

many christmas horror movies involve a young boy seeing a woman fuck santa and becoming a murderer later because of it

[horrororman]

Don't Open till Christmas was released on December 21, 1984(US).

#horror #mystery