#don't look at me okay Joanne said she liked angst to fluff

[sunflowerxthoughts]

Heyyy I really love your writing!!, I have a request and I don’t know if you do angst and if you don't that is okay! but if you do, can you do one that is like the song "the one that got away" by Katy Perry, angst but if you want you can switch it up at the end to fluff or something that would make the viewers happy because I know they would want a part two of you keep like just angst at the end, YOUR CHOICE, your writing.!!

Thank you so muchhh!!!!

Oh my god, first of all, THANK YOU for reading, this whole thing made me super happy and I had to write it as soon as I had a moment. I hope you like it and it will have a longer part 2 if people like it! I hope you didn't mind I used Sirius, if you want another character I'm more than happy to write another one. I took some liberties with the plot because fuck you Joanne, we support trans rights in this household.

That being said, as always this blog is +18 only and tw for abuse.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY - SIRIUS BLACK X FEM! READER

Sirius and Y/N. Two peas in a pod all through life. Grew up together disliking both of their families views, only one could escape. She felt so relieved when she knew he was with the Potters, James wished she could save her too. It just wasn’t that easy.

The only daughter to a pureblood family, she was bound to get married, continue the family line and carry the legacy of the Dark Lord. She didn’t want that. She cherished her times at school because she knew, the second she graduated there would be a ring on her finger or a grave with her name.

Sirius and Y/N, who never said they loved each other but everyone knew. They knew from the way they looked at each other, from the sneaking together at night just to look at the stars and hope for the best. It was an unspoken thing, everybody knew it was beyond puppy love. She was even the reason Regulus and Sirius still spoke to each other, and both of them has the sneaky feeling that she’d be married off to the youngest Black.

Though she was not a Marauder she was part of the friend group. She proved to Lily she was not going to harm her and she matched in attitude and humour with Marlene. She was already chastised for being in Gryffindor, but she knew the friends she made were worth the screaming matches at home. And when Lily got pregnant at the end of their seventh year, she was made the godmother along Sirius with a second thought.

It was picture perfect until it wasn’t. She had a godson, great friends, a not so secret boyfriend, a bright future as a healer and her whole life ahead. Until she didn’t. As soon as she graduated she was engaged to another man, she had to scape to meet Harry and tell her friends what was going on and they had let her know she would fight with the Dark Lord either if she wanted to or not, yet they kept her and Regulus out of the meetings.

Sirius made it clear his freedom was before anything else, and you simply can’t ask an abuse kid who just got out to get back in. So she was alone. She knew, she knew about Peter, about Reg wanting to rebel. Everything, but she never got to tell. Sirius went to prison, leaving her confused. And when she got to scape it was too late. The only good thing about all of this was the fact that she got to keep in touch with Remus, she didn’t even get to take Harry with her.

“She will be here any minute now.” Remus frets as he prepares tea. The Order has just been reunited in Sirius’ old house and she has been recruited as a healer to help. She couldn’t say no.

“Who?” Asks a curious Ginny, who is more than eager to know what is going on in those meetings.

“Harry’s godmother.”

“My what now?”

“No one told him?” Asks Molly in a less than happy tone. “Harry darling, we thought you knew. She was Sirius… Uh-“

“Girl, she was Sirius’ girl.”

“Thank you, Remus. Her story is up to her to tell you about, but Dumbledore, he had his reasons I’m sure. She was still at risk.” Harry looks angrier, he can’t believe he could have been in a safer place before. “Sirius he-“

“He wasn’t ready to give up his freedom quite yet.” It’s a hard topic for Remus, they were his family after all. “She doesn’t resent him. She spent years waiting, Harry. For you, for him. She grieved your parents alone. And at some point it was clear to her she had to move on.”

“Did she?”

“I’m not sure. She has worked as a healer for years, she didn’t marry anyone else. She just learnt that life goes on and waits for no one. We still keep in contact, she will forever be my best friend. Even after everything that happened, we still have each other’s backs.”

“Does Sirius know?”

“I don’t think he does, no. This could either go really well, or really bad.”

“What could go bad?”

“Oh Merlin! Y/N!”

There she was. As Sirius would say, she aged like fine wine. She found comfort in Remus embrace, she always had, like a platonic soul sister. Seeing Harry again was a shock she wasn’t ready for. It was like seeing the ghost of her best friends in the form of a kid. She knew then and there that seeing Sirius was something she wasn’t sure she would recover from. She wanted to leave, but she couldn’t and it wasn’t until that after the meeting that Sirius dragged her out of the room and she couldn’t say no.

“My love…”

“Sirius I-“

“You look even more beautiful than I imagined.”

“I can’t do this right now.”

“I didn’t do it I swear.”

“I’ve know it was Peter this whole time, Siri. I’ve told anyone who would listen for years, but no one believed me. It’s not that-”

“Are you mad at me because I ran away?”

“Oh no. I could never resent you for escaping. We both know what happened behind closed door wasn’t easy for anyone and I’m glad you got out. And yeah, I sometimes wish I could have gotten out too. But you had a brother and I didn’t, Si. It was my destiny.”

“But you- you got out!”

“I- I don’t want to talk about those times anymore, please. I don’t want to be reminded of the pain again.”

“We can start a new life together, my darling. We can live here with Harry, hell maybe even Remus too. Make James and Lils proud. We can be a family again.”

“I don’t think I can, Si. It’s not that easy for me.”

“You moved on?”

“No. I could never. You were it for me, but this is all a bit much. How can I look at Harry without breaking down? Do I just stop my life now? What if we aren’t just made for each other?” She sobbed, “I’ve missed you to death, all of you. But I don’t know if I’m ready to live with ghosts of the past, Sirius. I don’t know if I want to risk losing a stable life that has been all I have ever fought for. There is a second war so close, and I don’t know if I am ready to go through everything all over again. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Two month is all I ask for. One month with Harry and Remus, and when they leave for Hogwarts, the two of us. Please. I just got you back, I don’t want to lose you again.”

[mybelovedwoo]

Long Journey - Chapter 4: Heartbreak and Escape

Life hurts a lot, that's just how it is. At least that is what Destiny thought, living a life where living hurts more than dying. But one day everything changes when an unexpected guest appears. What does this long journey hide behind? Will it be worth it to be alive again?

"Sailors tell stories, Pirates make legends!"

ateez pirate au, fluff, angst, smut

??? x named reader

word count: 2k

warnings: violence, fighting, guns and weaponry, blood injuries, trauma, smut, sa, pa, abuse specific to this chapter: brutality, death

← previous | next → | masterlist

"So what's the plan?" I ask Seonghwa who I think always knows the most, since his the Captain's right hand. Ever since I met him he seemed the most reliable out of all the boys. I still don't know why, but I feel like I can trust him. On his side, San walks with us out of the Captain's quarter, they rush as if they want to get out of this place as soon as possible. It's quite hard for me to keep up with them, I get a little behind them every second step, and at this time, I run a little bit so I can be next to them once again.

"San already knows everything about the plan, all you have to do is stay unnoticed and listen to him. Don't try to be a hero or anything, you're putting not only yourself in danger with that but also one of our people too. Remember that you are not one of us, if something happens, he will leave you there without any question. Got it?" The Quartermaster had never been this harsh with me before, it really surprised me, but at least I could see where I stood. He stopped in his track."I hope everything goes smoothly tho." Then the tall men left me alone with my partner in this thrilling mission.

"Are you ready ma'am?" The sweet boy with the Cheshire cat smile asked. I swallowed hard, only then I answered.

"I think so, yes." I didn't think I would sound so desperate, but I can't hide my feelings in a situation like this.

"You don't have to worry as long as you're with me." His dimples were so deep, I swear I could get lost in them. They distract me so much that I would believe anything he says to me, that's why I believe that this man is quite dangerous. However, I feel like I shouldn't trust him that easily, based on what Seonghwa said just now, I shouldn't trust anyone on this ship, to be honest. I have to remind myself that I'm not one of them, I don't belong here. It would be best if I disappeared at their first stop so that I wouldn't be a pain in the ass.

-

Walking down the narrow alleys, all I can think about is what would I say to Joanne when it's finally time, but I somehow can't find the right words. She always knew what to say to me, she could always comfort me with only her words. But I'm not her, I'm not such a good person. She sacrifices herself for me, I don't even really know that I deserve this present from her. Surely not, since I should be there right at this moment.

"You are very quiet." San turns back to me and keeps walking backward. He gave me a cloak to put over my head so no one could recognize me. It's a little big on me, it covers almost half of my vision, but I still see the concerned look on his face. "What's on your mind?"

I sigh and wonder if I should tell him the truth, or just brush it off and say that I'm okay. But before I can stop myself, my mouth is already speaking. "I don't think I can do this." I stop and I'm thinking about going back to the ship so I can hide in the bed, I woke up in this morning, so when I get up I can realize that all this was just a dream, and everything will be back to normal.

"What? We're so close, you can't give up right now." San walked up to me, I can see him trying to comfort me, he is hesitant to give physical touch, I think he noticed how I can't handle it. "Tell me what's wrong, what's on your mind?" 

"I just...I feel like I'm not worthy enough to be here...to live. You are all such good people, you, Captain, and all the boys, and Joanne too of course. I should've taken the blame, not her." Tears start to gather in your eyes, but you don't let them fall out of it.

"We are not as good people as you think, Honey." He looks down as if he is ashamed of something, that I don't know about. Of course, I barely know them, but what I've seen in this short period of time, it can't be that bad. "I know you've been through a lot, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve a beautiful life. That's what Joanne wanted too."

I hate it when someone is right, but how could I possibly live a "beautiful" life, if I don't have anybody anymore?

As we continued our journey, I realized I don't have to know what to say in advance, right there at the moment I will know, hopefully. When I was about to take another step I bumped into San's hand, which he held out in front of me on purpose, so that I wouldn't go any further. 

"If I'm not wrong, she is being held in that building. That's what Captain told me" I look at the tall, brick building in front of me. San pulled me closer to the wall of one of the buildings when he noticed two guards at the entrance looking around. 

"How are we going to get in?" It seemed kind of impossible to stay unnoticed by the guards, and my task is entirely that. 

"Do you see that carriage over there? Every day at exactly 10 o'clock, that is in 2 minutes, letters are brought in with the diligence. We will hide there." He looks at me as if he's waiting for some kind of praise.

"What if they find us?" I am not very convinced with this "huge" plan of his.

"They won't. It's a closed carriage, those guards are too lazy to check everything." Since I don't have much of a choice here, I have to accept my faith, so I follow San. I slowly but surely walk up to it while the coachman is at another building as he hands over the letters there. San opens the door for me and lets me go in first, just like a true gentleman. The interior is not too spacious, and it doesn't help either that it is full of letters. I push a couple away when I sit down. 

There is an awkward silence for a while, so I decided to break it because it was killing me. "What is up with Wooyoung? I saw everyone back on the ship except him. Is he okay?" I am truly curious, I hoped when we get back I could talk to him in private. 

"He locked himself in, and he has not left his room since last night. He doesn't open the door for anyone, not even for Captain. I think he was deeply affected by what happened." The pictures from last night suddenly rush through my brain, it's like a really bad nightmare, but in the meantime I'm awake. "But don't worry, he will get over it." I know he just wants to comfort me, but I can't imagine how anyone can get over something like this, I know I can't.

I couldn't speak at the moment, but luckily for me, the carriage started moving right at that second. I heard the gates open when it slowed down just a little bit, I tried to stay as quiet as possible, so they don't find us accidentally.

As soon as we heard them close it back, San immediately signaled me that it was time to leave our hiding place. There was a small door on the right side of the courtyard, and it was wide open. This was our greatest opportunity to get inside the building undetected. I followed San's every move inside the less-lit stone-lined tunnel, he was sure that this leads to the dungeons, where they keep all the prisoners.

And he was right, for the second time today, I thought about it, maybe he is always right, how annoying. As soon as we entered the area where all the cells were, all the prisoners started shouting and throwing things at us. It was really scary, so I stepped closer to San, he didn't look scared at all. 

He approached one of the cells and spoke to the man sitting in it. "Where is the woman they brought in last night?" The man scoffed, and what he said surprised both of us. "They say they are looking for another girl, much younger, just like her," he nods his head toward me, "they say she helps pirates. It won't be hard to find them. Because we all know where all the pirates are. On the sea." He starts laughing, and it gives me the chills. "The woman is dead soon if she isn't already." Carelessly he sits back.

San caught my arms, I didn't have time to resist or push his hands away, he was already pulling me with him. I shout at him. "Where are we going? We haven't found Joanne yet!"

"We must return to the ship immediately. The mission is canceled." He seems very worried, he squeezed my hands more and more tightly as we ran out of the dungeons. I don't know what to think of this sudden change, because what that man said was not true.

We went up a couple of stairs that we didn't pass on the way here. We're walking down the hallway of the first floor when San finally stops. "We're going out of this one." He states. My eyes immediately go wide, I don't want to believe what I just heard. "What!? You're just kidding, right?" I can't believe, he wants me to jump out of a window.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Unfortunately, he didn't look like that at all. To be honest I liked the San from earlier a little more.

He opens the window and leans over it to look around. "Great, look at that hay wagon. We will land there. You go first." He lets me there, I walk there hesitantly, and when I lean out the window, the little bravery I had until now disappears. "San, I can't jump out of this window, it's too high." I turn back to him.

"Unfortunately you don't have any other choice, because no matter what Seonghwa said earlier I won't let you behind at any cost. So either you jump on your own or I throw you out of it, you choose." Somehow, the first option seems more promising.

I stand up on the windowsill and I close my eyes. I count to three in my head and push myself away, still keeping my eyes shut. After a few seconds, I only realize I'm lying in the hay. I did it, I can't believe it. San jumps after me without any hesitation, and I wonder if is he even a human.

"Move along!" He shouts at me. I climb out and I run after him, he goes very fast.

"San, what happened? What that man said is not true, you are not pirates, there's nothing to be afraid of." Finally, I catch up to him, but he doesn't look up at me, he is scanning the ground as if there's something interesting there.

In the middle of the big rush, none of us paid attention to where we were going and I only now realized that we accidentally ended up in the main square. There are strangely too many people here, I wonder what's going on. I fight over some people to see what they are looking at so much, not even caring about leaving San behind, I can feel my heart pounding in my ears.

When I saw the horror before my eyes, I fell to my knees and started sobbing. The only person who cared about me, who raised me, was hanging on the gallows in front of my own eyes. I was late, I couldn't say my last goodbye to her.

© belongs to mybelovedwoo

note: soo i know you had to wait for this chapter for a long time, but here is my explanation for that. I'm really sorry.

tell me how do you like this one? i worked really hard on it, so I hope you like it <3

[the-voltage-diaries]

I’ll Stay by Your Side, Every Night - Soryu Oh

For our very own, @joaxotome​; one of the sweetest, kindest, and most amazing humans I have had the honour to meet. I don’t think I write Soryu that well, because the last Soryu piece I wrote was over a year ago lmao, but I tried. I hope you like this, Joanne. Thank you for being such an amazing ball of energy who can cheer anyone up in a mere few seconds. Love you. <3

Also, since you said you love yourself some angst to love, I tried to make it come true. Cheers to me writing better Soryu fics, hahaha.

This one’s for the discord exchange, and I’d just like to take a moment to thank our very own @voltage-vixen​ for hosting this beautiful event <3!!

TW: Angst (with fluff... or so I hope.) This work is based around the ideas of abuse; mental, emotional, physical. If you are in any way uncomfortable with that, do not read this. 

“Are you going to cry now?” He smirks, his eyes glinting in a way that make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

All I see is black as my eyelids force shut, not wanting to look at his face for a second longer, too scared to think about what will happen to me if I do.

“Hahaha,” he laughs and I sense him bending low, his face coming closer to mine. “Look at you, scared and shivering like the mess you are.” I shift uncomfortably, feeling his breath creating warm spots on my neck as his voice lowers, almost down to a whisper, “You asked for it, baby.”

“Ugh!” I jolt, my groan muffled against the cloth stuffing my mouth when I feel his fingers stroke the sides of my waist, teasing, testing the waters.

And then, before I know it, his palm comes to rest on my chin and in one swift motion his fingers pull out the dirty piece of fabric gagging me. My eyes burn with unshed tears at the pain in my mouth, caused by the sudden pull, and I take a deep breath, refusing to admit defeat in front of this bastard.

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’ll be okay. I’ll survive. I know I will. At least I hope I will.

“Baby,” he purrs, almost as if coaxing me, “Open those beautiful eyes of yours for me, won’t you?”

My breathing shallows and goosebumps show up on my skin at the nickname, the way he calls out to me in that god forsaken voice.

His rugged fingertips graze the corners of my jaw, almost as if luring me back into him, back into that web of pain, lies and suffering. “Look at me,” he whispers, and I shiver at the tilt in his tone, reminding me of the days when things between us started to go awry. “Don’t worry Joanne, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Just as his fingers tighten around my jaw, I hear the sound of a mobile ringing. He clicks his tongue in annoyance, and my sigh of relief goes unnoticed. I hear his footsteps as they back off and walk in the direction of the device which refuses to stop ringing.

My guess is that he picks up the incoming call, because no sooner than his feet stop do I hear him let out a muted, “What is it?” Again, I hear his footsteps move away, and then a door opens, and then it shuts. And then? Complete silence.

My uneven breaths echo in the silence so eerie you would hear it if a snail moved.

As I try to calm myself down, my mind chooses the worst distraction it possibly could have; my past with this man.

When did we become like this? Why did we become like this? What went wrong?

We had started off on such good terms. Both of us were madly in love. He was the perfect boyfriend; he would take me out on dates, message me constantly, shower me with his love, call me nicknames, spend time with me... or so I thought.

About a year into our relationship I realised how badly had I fucked up. I realised how blind I was to the changes in his behaviour; the way I didn’t notice how him taking me out on dates turned into him forcing me out when I didn’t want to go, just to show me off as his trophy girlfriend, how his constant messaging turn into something obsessive, how him showering me with his love turned into showering me with his abuses, how calling me nicknames turned into calling me a whore or a slut whenever I so much as even looked at someone else, the gender didn’t matter, how him spending time with me turned into him gluing himself to my side, never once leaving me.

Always on the look-out for when I’d commit even the slightest of errors. Because then he would unleash all his names, curses, abuses at me; making me feel like I didn’t deserve to be loved.

Well, maybe I didn’t.

Over time, those curses and abuses turned physical as he turned more violent, slapping me or beating me up for even the most minor of mistakes. Those verbal slurs turned emotional, making me feel like I didn’t deserve to be alive. Hah, what a cheeky little failure.

“Heh,” I scoff at myself, laughing at how naive I was to not realise when our love turned into something that would make most people sick to their core.

What makes me feel the most miserable about our past is that I allowed myself to be used and abused. Even when he didn’t reply to my texts, ignored me for days sometimes, and clearly had stopped even so much as glancing my way... I still hadn’t given up.

Not until that one fateful day when I saw him. In my bed. With not just one, but two bloody women.

Silly girl, one of his sex friends had said, smirking in all her naked glory, can’t you see the truth right in front of you? This is his little kingdom, and you’re not the queen anymore.

“Argh,” I groan, my thoughts coming back to the present when I feel my bound wrists numb with pain at a tear in the thin skin that covers them. Rolling my shoulders to forget about the pain for the time being, I pull at the rope tying my wrists behind my back, in futile hopes that it would come loose.

“Ah, I always loved the feisty side you hid underneath all that cute drama.”

I jump and my body freezes in its spot, my eyes widening at the proximity of his voice.

In my peripheral vision I see his face, his chin coming to rest on my shoulder with him standing right behind me.

When did he come back?

“While you were too busy reminiscing about the beautiful bubble you had created for yourself with me,” he chuckles, as if reading my mind. Looking at the way my eyes refuse to un-widen, he continues, “You were always easy to read. Now weren’t you, Joanne?”

“Why are you doing this?” I whisper, my head bent, refusing to stay up any longer.

“Because, Joanne,” he starts, a lewd smirk lining his face when I let out a choked sob on the use of my name, “I want you to have your epiphany.”

“My what?” I ask, looking up at him, wondering if I heard him right.

“Your epiphany,” he repeats. I feel the throbbing in my wrists relax as the ropes slowly come undone, surprising me. He slowly walks around me, coming to a stop just in front of me. My heart only pounds faster when I catch the glint of the knife in his hands. “I want you to realise what a useless little bitch you are without me in your life. Nobody loves you, kitten. Nobody did, nobody would.”

“Stop...” I whisper, bowing my head in defeat, trying to mute out all his words in an attempt to stop them from having their effect on me.

“You, Joanne, are a pretty little good for nothing.” He smiles, his palm resting on my shoulders. “Your friends run away from you, your peers refuse to talk to you. Ever wondered why?”

No, Joanne. Don’t listen. It’s okay. It’ll be okay. Every thing will be fine. Just breathe.

“Because, oh darling,” he murmurs, dragging the knife’s tip up my neck, slowly, “you are so very broken and no one cares to notice.”

“I trusted you,” I say, finding the courage to meet his eyes from god-knows-where. I meet his challenging gaze head on, trying to sound as angry and frustrated as I feel, “I trusted you so much.”

“Well then you can’t exactly blame me, can you? It was your mistake.”

“What the fuck do you want?!” I yell, immediately regretting it when I see how his smile turns from teasing to predatory.

“What do I want?” He mutters, bringing his face so close to mine I can feel his disgusting breath on my lips. He drags the tip of the knife lower... and lower... and lower, until it reaches my abdomen.

I can’t think.

“You want to know what I want, Joanne?”

I can’t breathe.

"I want so many things," he whispers. "I want your mind. Your strength. I want to be worth your time." 

His eyes hold me still, as if commanding me to stay where I am.

His fingers graze the hem of my top and he says, "I want this up." He tugs on the waist of my pants and says, "I want this down." He touches the tips of his fingers to the sides of my body and mutters, "I want to feel your skin on fire. I want to feel your heart racing next to mine and I want to know it's racing because of me, because you want me. 

And then I hear the sound of something sharp piercing skin, and the sound of blood oozing out. My eyes slowly travel down to look at my waist where the knife rests, buried deep in my body.

Because you never, " he breathes and pulls me up to him, and looking up, in the depths of his eyes I see the formation of something that makes me lose my mind, "never want me to stop. I want every second. I want every inch of you. I want all of it." He smirks, pushing the knife deeper into me as his fingers come to rest on my chest, where I feel my heart pound, "I want your soul."

And I drop dead, all over the floor.

“Joanne?” I hear a voice call out my name. It’s almost distant. Almost.

All I see is pitch black as I feel my heart pound out of control and my body grow hot.

“Joanne, love,” The voice says, insistent, and it’s as if my body automatically relaxes a little at the familiarity of it. “Can you hear me? Wake up, baby.”

I feel the urge to reach out and grab at the voice, and so I do. I stretch out a hand into the darkness that surrounds me, in the hopes of grasping on to something, not knowing what it is.

“JOANNE, WAKE UP!” I sense someone’s fingers curl around mine, grabbing my outstretched hand, and pulling me towards a strong, warm chest, immediately jolting me awake.

“Wha-What?” I whisper, not quite catching up with what is going on. All I see in front of me is a navy blue hoodie, covering a broad, strong frame, and I look up to meet a familiar pair of eyes, as calming and deep as the ocean.

“Hi,” he says, giving me a relieved smile. But for some reason, while my body calms down, my mind delves right back into the state of panic as I feel my nightmare overlapping with my reality.

“Get away from me!” I yell, pushing him away, and jump away from the bed, running to the opposite end of the room.

“Joanne?” He calls out, his eyes widening in surprise, maybe not expecting me to run away. Oh no, maybe I angered him. Maybe he will beat me up now. Oh no.

“Don’t take my name!” I say, covering my ears. I can still hear his voice ringing in my head, letting my name out from his sickening lips.

He gets out from the bed, slowly, steadily, and looks at me with a warm, comforting gaze, “It’s me, Joanne. It’s Soryu.”

“S-Soryu?” I murmur, slowly looking up to meet his eyes. I try to calm my ragged breathing down as I gradually start registering what is going on. But the moment he takes a step towards me, I immediately jump back.

“Love,” he coaxes, “at least let me clean you up. You’re all sweaty.”

Wait. I am?

It’s when he says that do I notice the state I am in; my face wet with tears, my body sticky with sweat and my fingers trembling with fear.

‘... Joanne, I’m not going to hurt you.’

“Come here,” Soryu says, opening his arms for me.

“Why?”

“Just come here,” he mumbles, taking a step forward.

“No!” I shout, stopping him in his tracks as I flinch away. “You’re going to hit me.”

“I’m not going to hurt you, Joanne.”

“I’ve heard those words before.”

He looks at me, his hair still a mess, and in that moment in the pale moonlight he looks more handsome and more human than I have ever seen him. “I guess I’m asking you to trust me,” he says, opening his arms wide, once again, for me to fall into. 

I stand there, shaking in fear for a moment, but when I see his deep, grey orbs look at me with so much longing and care, I finally start to take slow, deliberate steps towards him.

Within a few steps, I fall into his strong embrace, letting it consume me and make me forget about whatever I dreamed of.

When his fingers comfortingly start stroking my back with extreme patience and give me that sense of security I was so desperately searching for is when the dam breaks and all the tears I had been holding in rush out.

He stands there, silent as a graveyard, patting my back in a rhythmic pattern, not once judging.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask not being able to think of an answer myself.

“Doing what?” He murmurs, his voice muffled by my hair as he rests his mouth against my head, kissing the spot before staying there.

“Treating me like a person,” I whisper.

“I’m doing this because,” he starts, pulling away to look in my eyes. His fingers gently grab my chin, guiding my face towards his, to make sure our eyes are locked, “I love you, Joanne.”

My lips form a smile when I realise how much he means every one of his words. “I love you too, Soryu.”

He smiles, his fingertips stroking my cheek, patient. His other arm wraps around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

“What are you thinking?” I ask, my fingers reaching up to play with the soft fabric of his hoodie.

“I’m thinking of how I want-” he stops when he sees my face go pale.

‘I want your soul.’

“Never mind what I want,” he whispers, effectively stopping me from going too far into my nightmares again. “What do you want?”

“You.”

I suck a breath, surprising myself at how I don’t even waste a second to say it to him.

Always you.

“Love,” he brings his face closer to mine, his voice low, “You already have all of me.”

I gasp at the amount of emotion in his voice, the ineffable level of care those eyes hold for me, and he bends lower, his lips almost touching mine.

“May I?” he asks...

... when he doesn’t need to. I smile, gently standing on my tip-toes and pressing our lips together.