#don't let me listen to james after it gets dark because i start to get all sappy

[square-braxket]

it is once again time for me to feral over the band James because !! another one of their live orchestral performances has been released and yeah. nothing but love really is how i feel about them. i am so full of love for their music i can't put it into words sometimes

[bl0odyh3art]

NEVER TELL HER.

warnings: rape fantasies, cheating, mentions of glory holes, and fake raping?

this is dead dove/dark content. if are uncomfortable with this kind of content or don't like it, then do not interact.

a/n: yayyy I finally like one of my fics

“Also, Mary isn't able to have sex now.” The doctor looked at him after flipping through all the papers on the heavy clipboard. no sex?.... That's okay.

He can deal with that. “Oh, okay.” James nodded, his hands fidgeting with each other as he was seated on the hard metal chair. The cushion on the chair is long gone, all flat.

A week's gone by, no sex. No masterbation. No nothing.

Driving to the flower shop, gets the same flowers she likes…or liked, pays for them with that same girl as the cashier.

“Hi, James!” You chirped, smiling widely at him with your best smile.

“How's life?”

“It can be better.” He answered uninterestedly while he waited for you to tell him the price after flowers.

“Aww…” Lips pouting with a little frown and head tilt. “Anyways! that'll be $20.”

“20?!...Are you serious…” James groaned and shoved his card in the reader, putting in his pin, blah blah blah blah.

“See you next time, James!” You waved bye to him but he didn't pay attention to it.

Of course he's gonna have some sexual frustration, he feels guilty for even masterbating without Mary at this point because it just doesn't feel the same, he can't pay a hooker…he just doesn't want that…maybe….maybe you.

He loves Mary, but he can't just tell her.

She's so kind, loving, gentle, and caring. He just shudders at the thought of what she should say if he told her he has rape and glory hole fantasies. So disgusted and disappointed. The best he can do is fuck you. Flower shop bimbo.

“James you're into rape fantasies…and glory holes, THAT'S SO DIRTY!” You crawled over to him on the bed, throwing your arms over his shoulders.

Leaning in to whisper to him “Are you gonna tie me up?” He shuddered, not in a good way though. In a disgusted way. God he can hear the gum chewing right in his ear. Do you ever stop chewing it?

“I don't know ... .Can you go in the hallway?” He sighed, of course you listened.

Blah blah blah blah blah, James finally had you on the bed, struggling to pull his dick fast.

“Oh no, Mister…please don't rape me….” You pouted with your pointer finger in your lips. He stopped and stared at you.

“Can you not act like…. you're in a porno…?”

“Oh, yah! sorry..”

“Maybe like… I dunno…try to fight me?”

“James! I don't want to hit you!”

“Just do it…” He sighed as you started kicking and hitting his chest.

“No, Mister! Oh no…. please I have a whole life ahead of me!” Finally he pulled out his dick and shoved it into you, making you gasp.

“Wow, I-..I never thought you were packing” You smiled at him, making him cringe at the choice of words you said.

“Y-yeah….” He groaned slightly, it was good. Definitely got him hard but you weren't Mary, and he wanted this over quick. Rubbing your clit and he thrusted in and out. Your back arched so much, moans so loud and quick…Did you take “how to moan” classes? Mary's were authentic and gentle, quiet but loud enough to let him know she was enjoying it.

“Oh, James! You're so biggg! I want you to cum inside my pussy! Uh huh!” He hated dirty talk, it was so disgusting. Why say what you want while it's happening?

Your pussy was good, warm and wet, a bit of a snug fit but you took him like a soldier.

He pulled out because he forgot condoms. Can't risk having a baby with another woman while his wife is sick. His eyes were closed, mouth shut closed, teeth grating against each other.

His moans were hot, like seriously hot. You couldn't tell if they were pathetic or just plain the best you've heard.

He whispered out a tinny tiny “Mary” as he came all over your stomach. Pulling up his pants and throwing you a towel.

“James, don't you want me to wrap myself in a blanket and just like have my ass out…so it's like a glory hole?” You looked at him, completely dazed out, cock drunk so quickly and easy.

“Umm..no, we can do that some other time.” He nodded and shook his head, he didn't even know if he wanted it or not but right now, he couldn't.

what did he just do?...Will Mary ever find out?...

[reysdriver]

Beautiful Boy | J.P.

James struggles to keep his cool when you go into labour — james x fem!reader fluff

warnings: reader giving birth (but not graphic or anything)

words: 1k

You laid on the bed in St. Mungos, James at your side. The potion a medi-witch gave you a few minutes ago was starting to kick in, and the pain was subsiding. You were warned that it wasn't going to help for the whole time, but you were only concerned about stopping the pain at that very moment. 

The same medi-witch checked your dilation, and her report disappointed you. "You're almost ready to have this baby. You've still got a few centimetres to go, maybe two or three. It's just a waiting game right now." 

You didn't want to wait. You wanted that baby out right away. 

"Why does she have to wait? Can't we speed this up somehow?" James asked. 

She shook her head. "The baby will come when her cervix is about ten centimetres dilated. Right now, she's only about seven or eight." She showed the measurements with her fingers, and James' face flushed. 

The witch then left, promising to come back and check up on you in a few minutes. 

"Love, I know I've told you nonstop how proud I am of you, but I really want to tell you again." James said to you. "I can't even imagine—" 

You didn't mean to cut him off, but another wave of pain crashed over you and it was impossible for a groan to have not escaped your lips. You squeezed his hand so hard you were sure you were passing the pain onto him. 

"Is that a contraction?"

"Yes, James." You said tearily. "When I make that noise and squeeze your hand every few minutes, it's because of contractions." 

He held your hand and breathed with you every time you had a contraction after that. 

You had healers coming in and out of your room every ten minutes or so, and after about an hour, finally one of them told you that you were ready to push.

Even though you had told your husband he didn't have to be in the room with you once you started active labour, he insisted on being right by your side. He should have listened to you, since it was obvious he was spiralling. He was asking a million questions, his eyes were wide and frightened, and it looked like he was going to pass out. 

You wanted to gently get him out of the room before he needed more medical attention than you. "Jamie, honey. Why don't you go get some ice to chew on? You love that. Or you could go update everyone on how we're doing?" 

He knew he was freaking out. Everyone in the room knew. He just really didn't want to leave you alone. "No, I'm fine. I'm great, love." 

One of the healers tried getting James out too. "Sir, you really don't want to be here for the worst part. Your wife will be very well taken care of under our care, you don't need to worry."

James looked to you with a guilty expression. He was torn between staying and leaving, so you assured him you were alright. 

He kissed you, quickly said how much he loves you, then reluctantly left the room. 

✦✧✦✧✦

You called James back in after it was all over. Your baby boy was in a bassinet next to the bed, and James' eyes started welling with tears the moment he saw you two. 

"Hi, Jamie." You said as he walked closer. 

He sat at the side of your bed and leaned down to kiss you gently but passionately. "I love you. I'm so proud of you." He told you in between light kisses scattered across your face. 

You smiled at both his praise and his touch. You could have sworn it was really helping to heal the pain. "Do you want to meet your son or are you just going to keep kissing me?"

His kisses stopped, but his hands remained holding your face as he let out a little laugh. "I wish I could do both." He looked back at the bassinet and let out a sigh. You nodded as a sign of encouragement, and he stood up and went over to your baby. 

He was half-asleep, so James was incredibly careful in picking him up. He held an arm under his little dark curls, and James noted all of his other features. Your eyes were passed down, but all of his other traits so far were from James. 

"Hello, my beautiful boy. I'm so excited you're here." 

You were surprised at James' soft tone. Usually, he was hyper and loud, and you had spent the majority of your pregnancy telling him off whenever he was talking to your baby bump and made a dirty joke. Now, he was speaking at a volume just above a whisper and it was adorable watching them. 

"Your mum and I have been waiting such a long time, but she's been through a lot more to get you here than I have. She's so strong, you're gonna love her just as much as she loves you already." 

Your husband looked over to you for a second, then looked back at the baby in his arms. 

"She's looking at you with the most adorable smile right now. She's probably watching 'cause she knows you're sleepy. Well, before you go to sleep, I just want to tell you that I love you, and I'm always going to be here for you, and I'll never let anything bad happen to you." 

James kissed him softly on the forehead as he lowered him into the bassinet again. He walked back to your bed and you let him lay down in the thin space beside you. He went back to peppering kisses on you, and you melted into his touch. 

"We should let him sleep for a little bit, then people can come in and meet him." You told your husband. 

He smiled. "The boys are outside flipping coins to decide who gets to see him first."

[grlsbstshot]

listen to james lucas's newly released double album, midnight & dawn

Also! Don't miss his appearance on everybody's favorite podcast, Rhythm & Tea

Chapter 12 of Neon Lights debuts this Wednesday

The cozy studio was a blend of modern and vintage aesthetics: warm wooden panels, sleek microphones, and an inviting couch that contrasted with the walls adorned with vinyl records and photos of past guests. James Lucas sat in the middle of it all, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease that belied the intensity of his thoughts.

He wore a crisp black turtleneck and dark jeans, his watch catching the light every time he gestured. Across from him sat the podcast hosts, Tasha and Lea, both vibrant and intrigued— clearly starstruck but maintaining a professional demeanor that James could respect. The interest in the room palpable as they volleyed questions back and forth.

It didn’t matter what he said, they probed for more. His charming quips bringing giggles and swooning from one of the hosts. The other just seemed to enjoy how unnerved her friend and partner was to be in front of a man they both admired.

“So, James,” Tasha began, her voice smooth and welcoming, “Midnight & Dawn has been called a masterpiece by a lot of critics already. Two disks, two distinct vibes—what made you decide to take on something so ambitious?”

Jameson smiled, a little shyly. “It wasn’t really a decision at first. It just…happened. EJ, my producer and writing partner, was working with me on an album but it didn’t feel done. So we pushed it back by a year. Everybody got on my ass about it but it felt right to push it. We took a break and then went back to it. When we started back work on it, I was an entirely different place and the music sort of split itself.”

“Can you give the people -- not us because I've already heard it and I'm obsessed with you...I mean, the album. But can you give them a little hint of what each side is about?” Lea spoke up, leaning forward in her chair.

When Jameson redirected her gaze to her and laughed, she blushed.

"How'd you hear it? It's not out until February 6th." "Don't worry about me, James Lucas. I got connections."

He laughed louder and she flipped her hair over her shoulder, proud of herself for it. “Midnight is about the darker emotions—grief, heartbreak, anger. Over time, I ran out of those emotions. So Dawn became about finding hope again. It’s a journey, you know?”

She nodded. “That makes sense. You can really feel that duality in the music. Was there a moment where you knew the project had to be a double album?”

“Yeah,” Jameson said, his gaze distant for a moment. “After we wrote ‘Simple Things’. It was incredibly different from anything that we’d done before. A little lighter. I stepped out of my personal experiences and just spoke broadly. It didn’t fit fully into what we were crafting. It was the other side of it. Originally, we were going to shelve it but EJ thought it was a shame to do that to a song we both liked so…we kept it on the track list. The more it started to expand, that’s when it came to me. Double album. I couldn’t tell the story in just one part.”

Tasha tapped her notepad, intrigued. “Speaking of storytelling, your lyrics are incredibly personal. Do you ever worry about being too vulnerable?”

Jameson chuckled softly. “No. I think that’s the point, right? Vulnerability is what makes music resonate. If I’m not honest, then what’s the point of any of it?”

"Okay, let’s get into details. It’s called Rhythm and Tea. Where’s the tea?” She teased him. “We love your new single, Burn. We have to know, James, is it about anyone in particular? Because we have our theories."

"Let me hear the theories." "One of our producers think it's about your latest break up with our girl, Imani. Is that true?" He hesitated before offering a chuckle in response, "Yes, we wrote it a year or so ago. Around the time we broke up."

Lea’s eyes went wide and she said “Ooooh.” Much to the amusement of her co-host but Jameson continued. “But I mean — it's Mani. She's a phenomenal woman. You lose someone like her, you feel it. For a long time. But I'm lucky. She and I have managed to be friends. I respect that so that's all I'll be saying."

The hosts exchanged a knowing glance, but they didn’t press further.

Tasha changed the subject. “Alright, we got enough tea. For now. Let’s talk process. Are you someone who writes every day, or do you wait for inspiration to strike?”

“I try to write every day, even if it’s just a few lines or a melody,” Jameson said. “But the best stuff usually comes when I’m not expecting it. Like, I’ll be driving or making coffee, and suddenly a lyric will hit me. I have a hundred voice memos of me humming into my phone while swerving through the streets because I got the phone to my ear trying to catch this random ass melody.”

The room erupted in laughter.

As the conversation continued, Jameson grew more animated, talking about the producers he’d worked with, the late-night recording sessions, and the risks he’d taken musically. But even as he spoke, there was a part of him that felt detached, like he was watching himself from a distance.

Tasha nodded, making a note of his answer. “Have you seen yourself transforming through your music?”

Jameson took a deep breath, considering the question carefully. “Well, when I first started out, I was just trying to make music that people would like. I was 18 when I signed my first deal. 19 when the album came out. What the hell did I know about life? But as I’ve grown and experienced more. I’m a few months from 30. My music has become much more personal and reflective of my own journey. I learned very quickly how powerful it can be. I learned how to express myself and my emotions in a way that I never could before.”

Lea jumped in excitedly. “And we can certainly hear that transformation in your new album. It’s raw and honest.”

“Thank you,” Jameson said with a smile. “I think that’s the beauty of music – it connects us all through our shared experiences.”

Tasha nodded in agreement before leaning in with another question. “Speaking of shared experiences, critics have been buzzing about one song in particular – Confessions. Can you tell us more about the meaning behind it?”

Jameson’s expression turned serious as he thought about how to articulate his thoughts on the track. “Confessions is a very personal song for me,” he began. “It’s about coming to terms with my mistakes and taking responsibility for them. Realizing you’re the villain in your own story is….hard.” He looked down at his wrist, fiddling with his watch nervously before continuing. “Whether it's infidelity or some other kind of betrayal -- to be able to face ourselves and confront our fuckups is needed to move forward. And Confessions is my way of doing just that.”

The hosts nodded understandingly, giving him a moment to gather himself, nodded appreciatively, thanking him for his time as the recording ended. As the studio lights dimmed and the crew began packing up, Jameson stayed seated for a moment, lost in thought. His mind wandered to Imani—her laugh, her stubbornness, the way she always saw through him. He wondered if she’d listen to the album. If she’d understand. With a deep sigh, he stood and shook hands with the hosts, thanking them for having him before making his way to the next promo opportunity, the weight of her absence pressed heavier on his chest each time he heard the music.

[d-is-humming]

Lullaby and an elephant in the room

Bucky Barnes x Reader (platonic)

Summary: James Barnes has nightmares; his neighbor has insomnia. Maybe with a lullaby, things can get better.

Warnings: (I would say none, but to be sure) nightmares, insomnia.

Hello dear, apparently I'm trying again to write in english. There will probably be mistakes and some repetition, I'm sorry. This came out more as a scenario than a real story, but I needed to take this idea out of my head and here it is. Also, I don't really know why the metaphor of the elephant took so much space. The song quoted is Come wander with me by Agua de Annique e Anneke van Giersbergen, I heard it on Spotify and it stuck in my head. Enjoy (I hope). D.

•°*”˜¯`´¯˜”*°*”˜¯`´¯˜”*°*”˜¯`´¯˜”*°•

One last scream.

And then silence, mixed with frantic breathing. His torture has ended, for tonight. He will probably wait for daytime watching the empty walls of his room or swallowing whatever is on tv, everything just to not fall asleep again.

On the other side of the wall, you take a long breath, but it’s not relief. Sitting against the headboard of your bed, knees to your chest and your head on them, you want to relax, to let your anxiety dissolve, but the last half an hour of someone else’s nightmares has left you with a deep uneasiness. You think to yourself, the worst part it’s not being awaken in the middle of the night by the screams, even when you’ve just closed your eyes after hours of your own insomnia. You surrender to another sleepless night, watching your still empty room walls or anything is on tv.

In the morning, when you and Sargent Barnes cross paths outside your adjacent rooms, you politely greet each other with a nod of the head, ignoring the elephant in the room, not wanting to embarrass each other. You have no right to meddle; he has no intention of acknowledging with a co-worker, a stranger, his own problems.

And again, another night, another day, another nod of the head, another week and another again.

It's been almost a month and the lack of proper rest it’s getting you. You already had a bad sleeping habit before moving to your room at the compound, but at least you didn’t have to cope with the infectious anxiety of a traumatized neighbor. You’re not blaming him, you would never. But it became a problem.

Because the worst part of it's not being awaken in the middle of the night; it's not even the screams themselves. It’s that they’re incessant, continuous, lasting minutes, hours, sometimes more. Entire sessions of skin-crawling screams and dreadful cries, with intervals of dire silence, when you’re not sure if the man next door is finally resting or if he’s in one of those dreams where your mouth just can’t produce sounds and you feel like drowning.

In the dark room, you press your hands a little harder on your hears. You already tried with tv or music, or just earplugs, but somehow knowing the screams were just hidden made them worse. Made you feel guilty – for listening to something so intimate without permission and because you can’t do anything for the man.

Still covering your ears, you quietly start humming the first song that comes to your mind, more to soothe your nerves than to cover his cries.

He said / Come wander with me, love / Come wander with me / Away from this sad world / Come wander with me

It’s really not much, but enough to distract you, so you keep singing, softly, ending the song and repeating it again. You manage to lose yourself in the melody, to loosen your tense body in the hypnotic repetition, letting your voice grow a bit firmer, a little less affected by the nightmare next door. After a while silence comes from the other room. You sing some more, slowly turning to humming and finally falling asleep.

Next door, Sargent Barnes has just awakened and while he tries to remember how to breathe, he listens to your voice and, somehow, tonight it seems a tiny bit easier finding his foot on this world again.

In the morning, when you and James Barnes cross paths, you politely greet each other with a nod of the head. You’ve become good colleagues, you work well together, grew a bit closer, even though you’re not properly friends. Therefore, the elephant stays in the room, unbothered. You know he goes to therapy and you still don’t feel the right to meddle; he’s still too ashamed of waking up every night his nice neighbor.

And again, another nightmare, another song, another day, another nod of the head, another week and another again.

You’ve started to sing every night, a bit longer following the last cry before he wakes, a silent agreement to sing him to sleep that you two sign every morning with your polite nod of the head. It seems like he has started to scream a bit less. He awakens a little easier from his nightmares and, apparently, he’s also getting some proper sleep after. You feel more at ease, your faithful insomnia is still there, but you’re getting more sleep too.

Months pass by and in the end you and Bucky become friends. You still nod your head politely in the morning, then you go on with your days spending time together, be it for training of for fun. Bucky’s still going to therapy, more willingly than the first times, and you’re just happy to know he’s feeling better; he is a bit shy of telling you he’s falling asleep every night listening to your sweet voice. That's why your elephant stays there.

But even your polite elephant can't remain silent forever. A mission gone particularly wrong makes more demons resurface from the depths of slumber and the worst nightmare in a while echoes through the wall separating you from one of your best friends. Dread fills you again, a feeling you hadn't in months.

You slowly walk to your shared wall and rest your head on it. You don’t know if it will help, but you can’t - you don’t want to ignore him. Softly, you start to sing.

He said / Come wander with me, love / Come wander with me / Away from this sad world / Come wander with me

The first times you tried to sing during Bucky’s nightmares, it was to survive. It was selfish. Then it became something like a mutual secret, a tool for the both of you to reach the end of the night as unscathed as possible. And now, now it’s an act of love, your way to try and protect him from something you can’t save him from.

He came from the sunset / He came from the sea / He came from my sorrow / And can love only me

You sing as sweetly as you’re capable of, but you feel more powerless at every cry that resonates in the room, your heart being torn together with his.

You don’t know how many times you start the song again, crying, your voice quivering. You’re scared but, finally, the screams turn into crying. You’re almost relieved when you hear him awake and weeping. You collapse against the wall, tears streaming freely down your cheeks, but keep on humming gently, because you don’t want to leave him alone.

Maybe an hour passes and you don’t hear sounds coming from the other room. You stopped crying but grief fills your heart. You swore years ago to never leave alone the people you love and yet, there you were, hating a wall and yourself for not being able to help a friend.

Then, a sound so soft you would have missed it. A door closing. Some silence. A knock on your door. You bolt on your feet to open it: Bucky stands there and though you can’t really see his face in the dark, you know he’s stressed.

-Can you sing for me, doll, please?

He’s voice is so thin your heart breaks. You take his hand gently and guide him to sit on your bed. You sit close enough for him to reach at you, if he wants. Softly, you start again.

He said / Come wander with me, love / Come wander with me

He tentatively reaches for your hand and you take it, starting to caress it tenderly, with a regular rhythm. You can feel his ragged breathing evening a bit.

Away from this sad world / Come wander with me

He came from the sunset / He came from the sea

He’s trembling slightly, silently crying. You don’t leave his hand, repeating the short lullaby again.

He came from my sorrow / And can love only me

Oh where is the wanderer / Who wandered this way

A third and a fourth and a fifth times you sing for him. At a certain point he’s rested his head on your thighs and you’ve felt the tears through the fabric of your pants. You gently move your fingers through his hair and slowly, so slowly, his body starts to relax, his breathing now regular.

/ He’s passed on his wandering / And will never go away

He sang of a sweet love / Of dreams that would be ...

You softly turn to humming the last verses of the song, rocking both of you to sleep, and, after a while, the soldat seems to find peace, leaving the man to rest.

Tomorrow, you will gently acknowledge the elephant that lived in your rooms for too long. But, for now, you will enjoy your slumber.

[mrsbrookemunson]

I have a Sebastian Sallow request for you!!! Reader and Sebastian are the top two duelers at Hogwarts, and they’re each others enemies. They always bicker and try to one up each other. Everyone is sure they hate each other. But then comes the last championship day of duels, and in the duel before she’s supposed to fight Sebastian, she gets really hurt and Sebastian panics and rushes her to the hospital wing. They realize they actually like each other and perhaps some love confessions??

You're a real one for this - aka one of my favorite writers 💕 I changed up the request a little to make it more angsty—I still hope you like it 🥹 Also - hey guys! I am new in the Hogwarts Legacy writing community, but I've been known for my James Potter and Remus Lupin fics - along with some other fan favorites.

Warnings: *Not Proofread*, Canon violence (blood, injury, fighting), insecurities, slight dark!seb in this, mentions of gameplay (slight spoiler warning), fem!reader, she/her pronouns, "MC' insert, heavy angst in the beginning and a bittersweet ending (can be left up to interpretation) This is like a complete alternative of what happened in the game. Be warned *insert evil smile*.

Word Count: 2343

Darkness.

That's all she saw in that moment. She could hear her own heartbeat, the blood rushing through her veins, her own slow, shaky, weak breaths as the pain of breathing soon subsided into numbness.

Where did it all go wrong?

The image of his eyes nearly black as the night sky, and that haunting smirk on his face that she grew so fond over.

Fond. Now that was one way to describe. No - she didn't hate him, but he hated her. Her feelings were quite the opposite, that soon behind each bicker and snicker grew a warmth in her chest - a fire that she learned to contain within herself, it would've only been a matter of time till she burnt herself.

Was it love?

It felt like life threw her warnings left, right, and center - that love only causes pain. She didn't think the pain would be so bad to the point where it led to her death. Though, as she slowly accepted the darkness behind her eyelids, she thought... maybe death wouldn't be so bad if it meant escaping the reality of heartbreak. Until she was drawn back out again.

Where did it all go so wrong?

They've been together through so much. He was the only person - besides Professor Fig - who she thought listened to her.

Oh how he listened to her...

"Let me see if I've got this straight. You have Ranrok and Rookwood after you because of something you found at Gringotts - where you ended up via a portkey. You can see traces of ancient magic that you think Ranrok is trying to harness. And now you've been witnessing memories left by 'keepers'? Oh! And this house belonged to a Hogwarts professor - who was one of these 'non-quidditch' keepers - hundreds of years ago." He shifted on his feet. "If I didn't know you - " His smile, it could send her over a million times. " - I'd think you were pulling my leg."

In that moment she couldn't believe her ears - had there really been someone in her life that truly listened to her?

"You're not listening to me!"

"Why would I listen to someone so ignorant?"

She cursed at herself, hearing the slight crack in her voice, and from her vision becoming blurry with tears. "Maybe your uncle was right... you don't know when to stop."

"Oh, I do know when to stop."

It felt like it only got worse after that. He was always disagreeing and trying to start arguments with her. Not thinking before acting. Who once always listened to her soon became a brick wall. Maybe she should've voiced her worries, maybe then she would've been able to salvage the already broken pieces of their friendship.

But, she didn't.

Instead, she chose to turn her back on him and walk away. She chose to avoid him - to ignore him. The number of letters that he sent increased every day when she simply tucked them away without reading them. Her stomach twisted and turned doing so - but it was better than the outcome that most-likely would've happened if she chose to stay.

And when the year ended, winning the battle against Ranrok, losing Professor Fig, she had the slightest sliver of hope that he would've spoken to her - grieved for her - oddly enough, she wanted him to yell at her for being stupid enough to go into such a war without his help. But, he didn't - and she felt foolish for thinking he would.

Would they ever speak again?

"MC, Mister Sallow - up onto the dueling platform," Professor Hecat instructed.

She swore she heard him grumble something under his breath. She noticed how Sebastian's physique changed over the summer after their fifth year. He became taller, his voice got deeper, his eyes became darker, and his skin got paler. Merlin, he looked sickly.

She glanced at him, cautiously before stepping up onto the platform.

She lost. He laughed. How cruel.

"She thinks just because she won a battle against Ranrok, she's the best dueler at the school."

It spread like wildfire.

Lucan was all over it. It seemed as though the two best duelers competing against each other was his way of keeping students engaged in his little 'unsanctioned' club.

It became much bigger than that.

Darkness.

"MC?" she heard a voice call out. "MC?! Wake up!"

"What have you done?"

Time slipped away from her. Seventh year came around, and no progress was made between her and the boy she desired in a way that was almost like a lucid dream. He was right there, she could touch him, feel him if she wanted to - but she knew, if she gave in - she'd wake up.

She didn't want to wake up.

Her own body didn't listen and her eyes cracked open. It was too bright to truly process her surroundings and the pain came back as if she was hit by a train. Her head hurt and it became hard to breathe again.

Why couldn't she breathe?!

Sobs escaped her when she felt something sticky on her hands. She looked down and saw blood soaking through her dueling clothes. She started to hyperventilate.

Hands came to grasp her face and she was met with brown eyes. Not the dark - nearly black - she found herself getting used to. No. Brown. Brown like honey, golden like the sun, melted chocolate she wanted to drown - merlin they were beautiful. Such eyes didn't deserve to hold tears nor look so broken, they deserved to be crinkled by smiling and closed by laughing too hard.

"S-Sebastian?" she called out in a rasp.

He shushed her and ran a hand down her head to soothe her wild, untamed hair. His eyes then widened when he pulled his hand away abruptly to glance down at his fingertips. That's when tears began to fall down his rosy, freckled cheeks. "It'll be okay, we're getting you help, okay?"

She couldn't quite understand him, like she was underwater. She felt dizzy and her eyes were getting heavy again.

"No - no - no, don't close your eyes." He patted her face. "Please, don't close your eyes. I need you to stay awake... help is on their way," he paused. "Stay awake from me."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I do anything for you anymore?" she whispered.

His face contorted into one that expressed such hurt. "Wh - what?"

"After everything... why do you even care? You hate me."

His eyes widen. "H - Hate you? I never said - "

"Don't lie to me..." she cried. "You - you did this, didn't you?" She grew angry. "And to think I would've given you the world if you had just listened to me!" She struggled to raise her voice causing her to violently cough. "To think I loved you..." Her head rolled and he instinctively readjusted to keep her head steady.

"MC? MC?!" He shook her as he cried. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry - you're right - it's all my fault - "

"Step aside! Let us through!" Professor Sharp shouted over all the students panicked filled voices.

Professor Weasley, and Professor Hecat followed him.

Sebastian held onto her tight and attempted to wake her up once more. He pressed his fingers to her wrist, but couldn't find anything. Panic struck him like lightning, he leaned down to press his ear to her chest. Her heartbeat barely there. He watched as her skin was losing its color and he suddenly felt sick.

What had he done?

A couple days had passed and MC had not woken up, yet. But, she was alive... surrounded by gifts and 'get well soon' cards. Sebastian hadn't left her side and practically begged the professors to induce a punishment after she had woken. In this moment, he felt the need to be by her side.

The guilt was eating at him alive, already have gotten a lectured from the professors, Ominis, Natty, Poppy, Imelda - Hell, even Lucan was scolding him, adding the point that his club is ruined because of his actions. He couldn't stop thinking about what she said before she knocked out.

She loved him...

That thought sent butterflies throughout his whole body. And Merlin, he wishes she'd wake so he could say it back a million times over between apologies. Loved... Did she still love him? That dawned on him. He gripped her hand tightly in his as the fear crept in - this could be the last chance he has to ever act of feelings rather than insecurities.

When did it all go so wrong? he wondered.

"I love you too," he whispered to her in the dark infirmary. "I've loved you since you beat me in that duel to be honest." He chuckled, dryly. "My new charge." He smiled fondly over the memory. "That day we fought that troll, I must admit I was a little jealous. I wanted to prove to you that I could be your... 'knight in shining armor' as awful as that sounds..." He frowned. "But, you didn't need me. You never needed me." He shook his head. "You are stronger than you know." Tears began to flood his eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you - I hurt you more times than I can count and - " He swallowed. "It will haunt me everyday pass death. Every time I close my eyes, it's a replay of what I did, a neverending nightmare where I see my reflection of who I've truly become. To the point i can't sleep or eat." He weeped. "Everyone was right. I don't know when to stop. And because of that I lose everyone around me... Maybe my uncle was right about me. Maybe I should just leave and never return." He raised her hand and gently kissed her knuckles. "As much as I'd miss Ominis, and Anne, and you - I'd probably be for the best... I'm just a disaster waiting to happen."

MC began to stir on the bed, her eyes fluttering open to meet his. "I did need you, you know," she whispered. "I needed you when it came to Ranrok, and when I lost Professor Fig - you were the only person I truly wanted to be there with me, but you weren't. And part of that is my fault... for so long - I just wanted you, it didn't matter what you had done, but I knew if I went to you my love for you would only grow and I knew that wasn't in the cards for us. You wanted so badly to save Anne, I knew I couldn't fit in there and it would've been selfish fo me to."

"I would've preferred you to be selfish rather than you shut me out."

"I never did such a thing! I tried talking to you but you'd never listen to me."

"Because i was angry - I was angry at where my life had become and who I was becoming and I knew if I opened my mouth I'd ruin everything between us."

"There was nothing between us!"

"I wanted there to be!"

"Well, I guess it didn't matter because look where we are now!"

He pulled his hand away to drag it over his face, using both hands to rub at his eyes. "What went so wrong between us?" he questioned, defeated.

They sat there in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable - but tensions were high. Thoughts coursing through both of their minds at a frantic, overwhelming pace.

MC closed her eyes to try and steady herself mentally. She sighed, "Sebastian I - "

"I want us to start over again, from the very beginning."

She looked rather surprised to hear him blurt out such a thought. "And what? Forget everything that's we've been through together?"

"No, but... we can at least try to move on." He sounded so hopeful. "At least give me a chance."

She laid back in her bed and observed him in silence. The way his eyes were practically pleading her to say yes, to give him relief of what she could tell had been weighing him down for the last two years.

"We'll get it right this time, I promise," he begged and reached out to grab her hand again. His dark circles became more prominent as they were glazed with tears. The moonlight seeping through the windows made him look like a crestfallen angel. "Please."

Her heart squeezed at the sound and sight. With hesitation she spoke, "My name is MC, I started in Hogwarts as a fifth year and crazily enough I can see traces of ancient magic and am known as the 'Hero of Hogwarts' because I defeated Ranrok and ultimately ended the Goblin War."

His smile left her breathless. Weak, yet so powerful. His shoulders lowered drastically with a shaky exhale. "That is a lot to take in... but I wouldn't mind listening to you talk for hours on hand if that's what if takes for you to tell me everything I missed."

"Quite the commitment you're willing to make..." she paused. "And your name is?"

He smiled a little wider. "Sebastian Sallow - and as a note - I am known for committing to something till the end. I don't easily give up."

She returned the smile. "Good to know."

"And to add onto that - I'd wait for you as long as the Earth spins until you are ready to accept me once again as who I once was."

She gave him a rather mocked look of suspicion. "You won't go changing on me, will you?"

He shook his head, hastily. "Never, this - what you see right here - this is what you're getting, nothing else."

She was crying along with him at this moment - but more in relief that she didn't have to carry the burden of her true feelings any long. And she knew - deep down - it would take time, step-by-step opening herself up to him as he would to her. But, she'll consider it yet another quest that she couldn't wait to finish, knowing it'll lead to the next part of their lives together. So, with a soft grin -

"How can I refuse?"

The end.

Should I make a part two - almost like an epilogue?

If you'd like to be part of my Sebastian Sallow taglist let me know!

| Requests Open |

[crazyk-imagine]

Life of the Party

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!reader

Characters: Sirius Black, Fem!reader, James Potter, Lily Potter nee Evans, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadows, Nymphadora Tonks (briefly mentioned), Harry Potter (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, this is random, during the first war, has bits of the sceond war involved, this probably doesn't track with the timeline, but certainly kept me entertained, not all information is accurate but that's to be expected, I had no idea where this was going, the last line makes me cry on the inside

Word Count: 2,601

A/N: Was I watching "Only Murders in the building" while writing this, giving it the murder mystery vibe, I feel it has? Maybe. No regrets though.

James took his time proposing

Voldemort slowly started getting stronger and then Peter joined him.

There are no known reactions to the bloodroot poison... I made up my own, hence the murder mystery vibe.

This is partially inspired by "Life of the Party" by Shawn Mendes

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m telling you to take your shot, it might be scary.” You shrug, "maybe she's ready for you two to take the next step." You're just hoping that if you push him a little more, they can be even happier.

And maybe, James can finally shut up about wanting to have the same last name, whatever comes first.

James nods, taking in every word you’re saying.

“We don’t have the time to be sorry," you tell him.

The faint whispers of evil lurking around every corner are slowly becoming louder in your mind.

You hold your breath for a second.

“She’s right,” Marlene shrugs.

Dorcas shakes her head, not liking it when the two of you agree with one another.

The blonde shares a look with the girl closest to her. “Why doesn’t he just man up and ask her?”

The dark-haired woman shrugs, “I don’t know. You’re asking the wrong person.”

Sirius leans against you with his arm wrapped around your shoulder, "am I hearing that Prongs is going to be an idiot again? Still don't know how to pop the question, do you?"

James rolls his eyes. "Thank you," he says to you before running off. "Look at that, we're alone now."

“Are we invisible to you, you dolt?” Dorcas grabs Marlene’s wrist and hauls her out of your home.

“I think he's going to do it now.”

“He’s not.”

“You want to bet?”

The blonde nods, “I do. Ten pounds.”

“And a butter beer.”

Marlene scowls, “fine.”

They shake hands.

“You’re on.”

-

He sneaks around your home, making sure no one can see him. You shake your head. "Nice try, Sirius."

"What?" He pouts, following you after you brush him away from you.

"Don't push me away. I know you love me." He flutters his lashes as if that will further prove his case.

"I would love some peace and quiet. Besides, shouldn't you be checking on Remus right now? It's almost his time."

He sighs, "yeah. I just... wanted to see you before."

"Well, you did and now it's time to say goodbye."

"Fine, fine," he lets out a deep sigh, as if you've done something to him. "Promise me one thing?"

You stare into his eyes.

“You’ll tell me if you’ve been seeing things when I get back.”

You nod, gulping because you know what’s going to happen before then.

The corner of his lips curls upwards, thinking about being alone with you and hopefully asking you something he should have had a long time ago. "I'll be off now, little miss “life of the party”. I'll see you later?"

You rest your hands against the counter, preventing yourself from falling. You nod, "of course, Pads."

He smirks, shaking his head to rid him of his thoughts although he’s always fond when you call him by his nickname. "Alright, I'm off."

"Bye," you whisper, listening to his motorbike get farther from your home. You groan, raising one hand to your head. It's worse.

'The whispers get louder when the ticking stops.'

You want to forget it, but you can't.

His screams haunt you; you can't see his face, you don’t know who it is but it's more than enough to ruin your sleep, invading your mind at the most inconvenient times.

Your family's large grandfather clock chimes.

Nothing's going to work now, you know it. You don't know why you’re going in here but it’s the one place you believe to be in your best interest to reside in during this time.

You grab your wand from your boot and wave it.

The bookshelf moves out of the way.

A heavy breath escapes you.

No one but you know of your meek at home potions room. It's better this way, none of them will ask any questions or throw themselves into research.

By the time your clock chimes again, James and Lily will be the next future couple followed by a sweet little baby boy who will help carry on their family line.

Remus will be trying to finish his potion for the upcoming full moon.

Sirius will be the last of his siblings but not of his family's pureblood status.

And Peter-

“Come out tonight. Come out tonight,” you mutter, closing your eyes for a moment, waiting. "You found me."

"I never wanted this to happen."

"If you didn't want it to happen, you wouldn't have joined him. You wouldn’t have cowered into his grasp because you think he’s getting stronger."

"I- I'm sorry."

"Are you? Because I think you don’t have the time to be sorry. Or are you just saying that because of the bloodroot poison you put in my drink last week?"

Peter pauses in the doorway. "When did you know?"

"It's obvious when somethings not right with your body and you're stupid to think I wouldn't notice."

"You really want to fight with the person who could kill you?"

"You already have."

"It wasn't my choice."

"You didn't know whether you should have stayed on this side and when they found you, you chose to put that damned mark on your arm. You made a decision long ago. I'm just," you hold your breath, finding it hard to take a simple breath now. "Wondering what made you change?"

"Nothing," he mumbles.

"That's such a lie and you know it!"

His head snaps in your direction. "Everyone made me this way!"

You struggle to gulp down the saliva that filled your mouth.

"I was tired of being the joke of it all," he sniffs.

You don't know whether to feel bad for him or help him.

"I wanted the jokes to stop. I thought they would when we grew up, but they barely did."

"What jokes?" You whisper, now losing your voice.

"It doesn't matter now, what's done is done."

"Soon to be done. You're here to report to him that I'm dead, right?"

"N- no."

"You're distracting me, waiting until the end."

"Stop it."

"I hope you feel better."

"Better?"

"Thinking you chose the right side-" You take a step closer towards the table, your hand reaching out for it until you lose your balance and begin tumbling forward.

Peter reaches for you and holds you.

This is the last time he'll ever see you. And it hits him, what he's done to his friend.

There are no changing things now.

He adjusts you, cradling you in his arms as he sits behind you; the way a friend should comfort another one in need.

"Are you happy?"

He glances at you from the corner of his eye, staring at your side profile. "What?"

There's no more fight left in you and there's one thing you want someone to know, your last fighting words were something that will haunt your murderer. "Knowing you chose the wrong side."

"I-"

You close your eyes, not wanting your last sight to be of the secret you kept from your friends.

The grandfather clocks chimes once more and the whispers of his mind fill the silence.

Peter throws his head back, tears trickling down the sides of his face.

Nothing will ever be the same and no one will ever know what he's done.

Not until the end of the first war.

He carefully moves away from you and places you against the desk making it look as if you were sitting against the desk when you pass.

He kept it quiet of how you passed until the night he purposefully let Sirius take the blame for everything.

No one was able to truly move on after, most of all he and-

“She called herself the “life of the party” forever making a fool of herself,” he chuckles to himself.

"Pads, are you telling Harry the same story?"

The man in question turned around with his precious godson bundled in his arms. "No."

"Why lie when we all know it, Sirius?" Lily asks, holding her son's bottle as she tries to take the boy from him. "It's time for his bottle, Sirius."

"I can do it."

"No."

"Come on," he whines, with his bottom lip quivering.

It takes her back to every time when he would beg for your attention. She purses her lips, adjusting Harry in her arms. "It's almost nap time."

"Fine. James, sleep fort?"

"Of course, how else does one take a nap?"

She shakes her head at the two, knowing you would have something to say about it. "James."

"Coming, dear."

"I'll be here while you go help the man of the house."

"Hey."

Sirius raises his arms, "I'm kidding. I'm kidding."

He's left alone with his thoughts, something that's become more dangerous than before.

He thinks back to the story he was telling his godson, which was the night before your guys' seventh year when you decided to do some digging and found the bottle of fire whisky he had hidden, saving for a special occasion and ended up giving yourself a nickname.

You were so, so... drunk.

-

You smile and raise your hands, not at all careful to hide the bottle of fire whiskey. “It's time to be the life of the party.”

Everyone was confused as to why you did this, why you’d lost yourself.

"Someone needs to get her down from that table before she trips and breaks something," Lily hisses.

"We can use magic to heal her."

"Now is not the time to sass me, Sirius."

"Uh- nope, that one was me," Remus raises his hands.

"Someone please, help me get her down."

The three boys take a step forward at the same time.

"Come on, darling. It's time to come down."

You pout, holding the bottle close to your chest. "I don't wanna."

James snorts. "Can it, Prongs."

"I didn't say anything, Padfoot."

"Boys, please. Let's just get close to the table and then Pads can try and ease her down while we help?" The werewolf adds.

"Siri, come up and join me."

"Join you?"

"Become the life of the party with me."

“Sweetheart, I already am.” He holds his hand out for you to take. “Come and party with me down here.”

“No,” you tell him.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Prongs, Moony,” he jerks his head to the side. “Over here.”

They follow, leaving the red head to deal with you.

“Alright, boys. Moons, you grab the bottle while Prongs my boy,” he smacks the bespectacled boy’s shoulder. “You distract, pull her in with that odd charm that drew your rosy, red head in.”

“I feel like I should be offended.”

Sirius raises a brow, “are you?”

“No.”

“Then you’re fine. Ready boys. On three.”

“Please don’t try to use sports analogies,” Remus interrupts.

“Rude.”

“Hey,” James calls out for you. “Look at me.”

This gives Remus enough time to remove the bottle from your hands and for Sirius to pull you down.

“What made you want to get up on a table?” He asked, holding you in his arms.

“I wanted to get away.”

He glances up, knowing you probably don’t want the others to hear. “Get away from what?”

“The images in my mind.”

“Do you-”

“She needs to have something other than that damned whiskey in her system. Bring her over to the couch,” Lily tells him.

-

He never knew what you saw before that night and didn’t ask when you didn’t remember anything that happened.

This was one of the first few sights that haunted his mind, followed by his best friend and his wife a year after.

That’s why when he saw you for the first time, he was going through so many emotions.

His voice calling out to you wasn’t out of the norm but seeing him when you turned around after the light taps on your shoulder was certainly a surprise.

Your eyes widen at the sight of him. “Sirius?”

He throws himself forward, almost squeezing you with his might. “It’s been too long, darling.”

Your hands shake as you fist handfuls of his shirt tightly, wrinkling his shirt in the process. “I- you,” you push him back. “You shouldn’t be here. You- you- Sirius you can’t be here,” you whisper.

“You shouldn’t be either but here we are. Just focus on this.” He cups your cheek.

“What?”

His thumb brushes across your cheek. “We’re together again.”

“You should be out there, living your life and- and teaching Harry so much more.”

“I am right where I need to be.” He smiles at you, staring into your eyes. “I’m back with you.”

You gulp, “you’re still an idiot.”

“No, I’m Sirius.”

You shake your head and pull him in for another hug… until an echoing voice causes you to furrow your brows.

“Pads! Pads!”

“Oh no,” you mumble.

“What?”

“Pads turn your stupid head around.”

“Who’s calling me stupid?”

You’re happy you let go of him when you did otherwise, you’d be on the ground with the two idiots you find yourself lucky enough to call friends.

“I didn’t want to interrupt the two of you.”

“I know,” you assure Lily. “It’s okay. I’m just happy to see you guys again.”

She wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. “Me too.”

“Don’t forget about us,” Marlene calls out.

You two spin around, finding her and Dorcas running towards you guys.

“Took him long enough.”

“Marlene,” you hiss.

“What? I can’t pretend like you haven’t been depressed since that night. Everyone missed you and then when the first war came and we came here, you were so relieved that he wasn’t here but longing for him to come to you and you know it. You can’t hide it.”

You roll your eyes.

“So, you did miss me?” He says, staring up at you with a stargazed look in his eyes.

You turn away, avoiding his gaze. “No.”

“Someone’s lying, and it isn’t Sirius,” he says, attempting to egg you on.

“Come on, girls.”

“Wait- no.” He chases after you.

-

All of you stop, staring around the cemetery.

“What do we do now?”

“We wander around in true spirit fashion.”

“I vote we leave James behind,” you say, raising your hand.

“I second that vote,” Lily and Marlene add.

“Lily pad,” James gasps.

“Dorcas, come on. Don’t do this to me.”

“I’m with the side that doesn’t whine and complain.”

“But I’m nothing without whining and complaining. I was the only male here till Pads decided to join us.”

“I can see why they didn’t want you around.”

“Pads! I’m offended now!”

“Oh, well.” Sirius shrugs.

“You two haven’t changed a bit,” you comment. “It’s nice. I’ve missed seeing all of us being like this.”

“Like what?” Lily asks.

“Being young, not worried about a war coming our way.”

“I think we can all agree on that.”

“Did you all hear Moons has begun to pursue Tonks?” Sirius says.

“No."

"No way.”

-

You lead the others towards Diagon’s Alley, feeling a butter beer kind of night is something you all need.

“Don’t give her any fire whiskey. Otherwise, her “life of the party” personality will come out.” Marlene teases.

“That was one time,” you defend yourself.

“Lies,” Dorcas says, coughing into her hand.

“You all suck.” You pout.

Sirius leans in, “how’s it feel?”

“Don’t be like that, Sirius.”

“What? So, Sirius? I can’t, that’s who I am.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

You stare into his eyes. ‘I missed you more than anything, Siri.’

“I do.”

His smile widens, “I knew it.”

You close your eyes, wanting this to fill the blocks you made in your memory.

Everyone needs a little happy scene they can think back to.

-

Taglist

@twinkletwinklenotastar

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 12: “Big Time Terror”

I've been looking forward to this one since I decided to start doing this rewatch. SHOT IN THE DARK!! Let's gooooo!!!! *tosses confetti into the air*

Highlights: Ghost hunting, ginormous bowls of oatmeal, and the best song ever written in the history of ever.

It's a beautiful night at the Palm Woods, and BTR and many of the Palm Woods residents are gathered around the fire, hanging out and having a grand ol' time. The guys are singing "Stuck," which is a song I'd probably rank among my favorites.

Their fun time is interrupted suddenly by a strange sound. As everyone turns to look, they see that a small table is moving along the patio all by itself. The boys look on in confusion and fear, with Carlos and Logan immediately gravitating toward Kendall for protection, which certainly gives me feelings. I love them. I love that the reaction is instinctual and says so much about who Kendall is and how the other guys see him. The Protector. The one who will shield them from harm. Kendall is a source of safety.

After returning to their apartment, Logan, ever the logical one, explains to Carlos that it wasn't a ghost but the air conditioner causing a backdraft that shut the doors. He doesn't have an explanation for the moving table, though. Carlos insists it was a ghost.

There's a knock on the door, which startles everyone but Kendall, and he explains to his scaredy-cat friends, "there is nothing terrifying behind this door." And who's behind the door? Gustavo! He tells the guys that his mansion is flooded, and he has to stay with them tonight.

They're not particularly thrilled about a sleepover with Gustavo, but Mama Knight tells the guys that they should let him stay the night because "Doing nice things for people who aren't so nice is nice."

We go to the lobby oh-so-briefly then to see Bitters and the Palm Woods residents all running frantically from something. We don't see a ghost, but there is mysterious wind and spooky green lights.

Up in 2J, everyone is seated around the table for dinner. It's Fish Stick Friday (with tots)! After some initial skepticism, Gustavo discovers the fish sticks aren't so bad, and he asks what else the guys do on Fridays, which leads into a montage of their evening. Gustavo has a blast. The guys...do not.

But the award for Not Having a Good Time goes to Logan, who gets SAT ON by Gustavo for HALF AN HOUR.

Cannot even begin to put together a theory on how this managed to happen.

The boys are all relieved when it's finally time for bed, but they quickly realize they aren't going to get much sleep with Gustavo's snoring practically shaking the whole apartment. Carlos has an idea for how to fix the problem, though.

Carlos's expression kills me. Look at him. Jaw set and that look of firm determination in his eyes. Carlos has a roll of duct tape, and he isn't afraid to use it. He will silence the big, snoring man. I don't know if we've ever seen him look so serious and angry before??

Also, I just have to point out that First Episode Kendall absolutely would've been on board with this plan. He probably would've grabbed the tape and done it himself. Maybe even gone a little further and taped Gustavo to the couch just for extra fun.

They trudge down to the lobby to sleep there but are scared off by the Palm Woods Ghost, who shuts off the lights, breaks a vase, stacks the furniture, and slams the doors. They run back to the apartment and are greeted by the image of Gustavo scratching his butt.

THE BOYS ARE HAVING THE WORST NIGHT EVER

The following morning, everyone wastes no time in handing Gustavo his stuff and all but kicking him out the door. They're all like:

But Gustavo isn't so eager to leave. Instead, he decides to join Kendall and James for a fun afternoon by the pool.

Listen. I love Gustavo, ok? Especially in these scenes, where he's just a loveable teddy bear of a guy wanting to hang out with his buddies. He is having SO MUCH FUN with them and is SO OBLIVIOUS that they're not having fun. No awareness at all.

Meanwhile, Logan and Carlos are having their own little adventure conducting paranormal research in the lobby. Carlos is convinced they're going to catch evidence of a ghost. Logan is convinced Carlos is just an idiot.

So far in the series, any time Logan and Carlos are paired together, all they do is bicker. But it makes sense, given that Logan is the smartest of the group and Carlos is...probably last in that particular ranking. Which is NOT to say that Carlos isn't intelligent in his own way, because he certainly is, but he doesn't have the same type of intelligence as Logan. Carlos is just innocent. Child-like. And we love him for it, but it sure does put him in a good position to clash with Logan over everything, doesn't it?

After setting up the camera and taking some time to smack each other around, Carlos, Logan, (and Bitters) catch sight of a ghostly green figure going through the lobby. They all take off running.

We skip ahead to the next day, where Gustavo's reign of terror over apartment 2J continues. He's not even trying to return to his mansion. In fact, he moves a lot of his things, including his bed, into 2J.

Also, everyone is eating the most ridiculously big bowls of oatmeal I've ever seen.

Look at James's bowl. That's like oatmeal for three or four people. And I know, I know, they needed to have a big bowl in order for Gustavo to be able to push James's face into it but come on. That's the most oatmeal I've ever seen in a single bowl.

After hearing that Gustavo will likely be staying several more days, Kendall pulls James out into the hallway to tell him that they need to handle this like men. Immediate cut to them begging and pleading to Kelly for help.

Kelly is confused because she had told Gustavo the previous night that he could return to his mansion. She reveals to the guys that Gustavo didn't really have a chance to live a typical childhood and play with other kids. Which is, um, really sad and something that should've been explored more!! She tells Kendall and James to figure everything out and flees the Palm Woods. Kelly wants no part in dealing with this lol.

The "Get Gustavo out of the Palm Woods" plot takes a backseat then as BTR focuses their energy on defeating the ghost. Armed with vacuum cleaners and goggles, they engage in a Scooby-Doo-style chase around the lobby.

Finally, they catch the ghost and reveal that it's not a real ghost at all. It's the new girl, Stephanie King!

She's making a horror movie and has been using the Palm Woods residents as her cast. She asks them not to tell on her, which Kendall agrees to under one condition.

We cut to 2J, where a peacefully sleeping Gustavo is woken up by Stephanie's ghost "floating" by his bed. Armed with a fan, projector light, fog machine, and a microphone, the guys manage to send Gustavo running from the apartment in terror.

The following scene is. The scene is—it's...

IT'S SHOT IN THE DARK!!! WOOOOO!!!

"Shot in the Dark" is by far my favorite BTR song, and I loved it so so much when I first heard it in this episode. You can imagine my yearning all these years to get an official version of it. Apparently, a full-ish demo version was released on youtube like...10 years ago?? I had no clue there was ANY full version until the guys released it in November. So, all this time, the only version of it I've known has been the one from this episode. Just about fainted when I checked Spotify and saw "Shot in the Dark" on there.

And I do have ✨thoughts✨about the song, but I might put them into a separate post. It's such a good song.

We end the episode at the pool, where everyone is once again sent running in fear from another moving table. This time, it's the work of Katie, who has discovered Fun With Fishing Line. The end.

Fantastic episode. This one would rank pretty high on my list of favorites. Both plots are great, and I like the way they merge at the end to wrap everything up. +46287593 bonus points for having "Shot in the Dark" in it. However, I do think there was a missed opportunity to include a heart-to-heart type scene between the boys and Gustavo. The guy had a lonely, isolated childhood and just wants a sense of connection with his dogs! He wants friends and to run around with reckless abandon playing "tag and seek" and an altered version of Marco Polo using dodgeballs! I wish the boys could have taken more time to acknowledge the whole situation and reached out in some way to Gustavo instead of scaring him away with a ghost. That would have been some nice relationship development.

[curseofhecate]

I never was the best to you

Sirius Black x Female!Reader, Subtle Remus Lupin x Female!Reader.

In which you and Sirius break up and you realise you were never the best to him.

1.6k

tw: angst, depression, not eating, suicidal thoughts (kind of), my shitty writting.

This imagine is based off of the song 'Best' by Gracie Abrams. I'm going to be honest 'Good Riddance' destroyed what was left of my mental health. Also this is my first attempt writting something so sorry if it sucks (because I'm pretty sure it does).

The first week after things between me and him ended wasn't easy. I didn't have the energy to get out of bed, the thought only exhausted me. I skipped most of the day's meals, not only becasue I didn't have an appetite but I wanted to avoid him at all costs. Which meant avoiding the Great Hall and being absent from both breakfats and dinner.

Lily would offer bring food in my dorm for me after dinner.

I knew she was worried about me. Both her and the Marauders, minus Sirius of course, had made many fruitless attempts to get me to do something productive, or do anything at all. James went as far as saying I could borrow his invisibility cloak, which was his most prized possesion, so that I could walk around the castle without him noticing.

Remus offered to take me to 'The Three Broomsticks' on a Saturday afternoon, which was by far their busiest day, even though he hated crowded places. Lilly cancelled her date with James just so me and her, along with Marlene, Dorcas and Mary, who also ditched their plans for me, could hang out all day. "Think of it as an 'Only Girls’ day. No boys allowed" she had said.

I had turned every single one of their offers down.

I must really have sucked at being a friend back then.

They gave me many chances to move on and to forget, to feel alive again. But I felt like I couldn't let go of him just yet so I decided to stay dead, let the days pass without a meaning in them. It was too soon.

The one time Lily managed to get me out of bed that week was on a gloomy Thursday afternoon, when she walked with me to the Great Hall for dinner. I was relieved when I took notice of Sirius' absence. I wasn't sure I could face him yet.

But it wasn't ten minutes later when Sirius walked into the Great Hall with a dark haired Ravenclaw, who was laughing over something he had said moments ago, holding his hand. My heart only broke into tinier of pieces at the sight, ones that I thought I wouldn't be able to restore.

The boy stopped, kissing the girl on the lips before they parted her going to sit by her friends at the Ravenclaw table while he headed our way. Only when he turned his head to scan the table for the rest of the Marauders did he notice me.

His expression didn't flicker, that silly smile still lingering on his face. That silly smile I grew to love, only to hate later on. He walked over to us and sat next to Prongs, who happened to be sitting across from me.

He sighed and started filling his plate with food before eating. I stayed there frozen. How could he have gotten over us in such a short time. It was like I never meant anything to him. But even if I did back then, I clearly don't now.

So I sat there, looking at him casually conversing with Oliver, the Gryffindor boy in our year who happened to sit next to him. We were so close, yet so far apart.

I regretted not listening to Lily telling me not to fall in love with him back then, because it would end up with my heart broken. I regretted the memories I made with him, I regretted that he was most, if not all, of my firsts. I regretted him.

He was the worst of my crimes. The one that caused me such pain that if I could turn back time, I'd never commit.

Remus, who seemed to notice my discomfort, placed a hand on my thigh softly as if he wanted to tell me 'It's okay, I'm here for you, still'. The subtle move had me melting. Why couldn't Sirius be more like his friend?

Then the Ravenclaw girl from earlier came over. She took Oliver's seat next to Sirius and interlocked their hands. Valerie, she introduced herself. She was in the year below us and seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that it hadn't even been a full week since me and Sirius had broken up.

I told her my name, for I didn't her to think I had anything against her. Anything at all. It didn't matter that the boy I loved most had left me just to get with her a few days later.

Deep down I wanted to scream.

Instead I sat silently, Remus' hand still on my thigh, watching the two interact. And at that moment I waved goodbye to all the versions of myself I was when he was still with me. 'Good Riddance'.

Looking back, I an see why things took such a turn. I was never good enough for him, let alone the best. And I would never be, no matter how much I tried.

I would lie to him constantly. I'd tell him I was alright, even when I was clearly struggling. I kept my problems to myself, not daring to let him completely in, fearing he would leave me if he saw how bad things actually were.

I felt like I had to make up a completely different version of my life, like I had to hide all my flaws and struggles. I felt like I had to create this perfect image for him to love me.

I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't help but keep lying to him. It was like a little strange addiction of mine.

Even when I completely isolated myself he'd try to stay, he'd try to help me. He might not have known what I was going through at the moment but he still tried to be supportive and made sure it was known to me that he cared.

And even though I knew he was there for me, I still passed him away and built countless of walls around me so I could keep my struggles secret. So I would still be perfect in his eyes, when in truth everything was falling apart.

He had every right to leave. He could have anyone he wanted, he of course wouldn't want to stay with someone who was drowning in their own thoughts. He could be with someone so much better than me, so much prettier than me, someone so much smarter. Someone like Valerie.

I never was the best to him.

So why would he stay with me?

We were so different; it is even surprising how we got together in the first place. He was loud and brave, and always voiced out his thoughts. I was quiet and shy, and afraid of almost everything. The dark, thunders, growing up, making decisions.

I feel terrible because I gave such gravity to so little things that didn't matter at all. He was struggling too, with his family and his brother but instead of helping him through his problems I neglected him. Focusing on my own demons.

That's what I regret, most of all. That I didn't care enough for him, or at least I didn't show it.

If I could, I would change every little thing about the way I handled it.

He let me in. He trusted me with his struggles and his fears, he let me see the sensitive side of him. He let himself break down in front of me, he let me see him in a vulnerable position. He gave me the best of himself, never hiding anything from me.

It wass my fault, it was all my fault and I'd never let myself forget this.

But he moved on. He healed and kept going like we never existed while I was still right where he had left me. I was losing every last bit of self control I had, my grip on reality slipping. I was building so many walls around me that it was suffocating.

But I deserved it. I deserved it all. For what I did to him.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone would be better off without me. Maybe if I wasn't there the Marauders and the girls wouldn't have to worry about me. My parents wouldn't have to be disappointed in their child. My teachers wouldn't worry about my well being, that seemed to have taken a toll on my grades. Sirius wouldn’t have felt neglected once again by a person he loved.

Sometimes I just wish I could end it.

It would be okay if I didn't exist in the first place. But if I left now, the only thing I would achieve was to wound the ones that still cared. And I couldn't bring myself to do that.

So I stayed.

And things eventually got better.

I still regret it.

[davisexplainableart]

Footi's Back! (Setlist Recap)

(keep in mind, this isn't real; just pretend that it is)

Thanks to everyone who came to last night's show to celebrate both Flood's anniversary, as well as Footi's return to the stage after several months.

As you may know, this show was performed without a backing band, just me, Footi, Chao, and a backing track.

Before we get to the setlist, here is a sort of key to explain certain things in the text below…

This means that I sang a song and no one else.

This means that Footi sang a song and no one else.

This means that I sang a song, with Footi on backing vocals.

This means that I sang a song, with Chao on backing vocals.

This means that Footi sang a song, with me on backing vocals.

This means that I sang a song, with Footi and Chao on backing vocals.

This means that Footi sang a song, with Chao and I on backing vocals.

When “->” is shown right before a song’s name, it means that we went right into that song, with little to no banter.

Alright, here’s the setlist for last night’s show (with fun facts for some of them):

(began with Countdown Intro over the PA)

1. Lie Still, Little Bottle

W/ "The Stick"

Before the song, we joked that when saying The Stick's name, you always have to include "The" right before "Stick" (referencing The Cheat from Homestar Runner).

2. Someone Keeps Moving My Chair

3. Dead

Before the song, I mentioned how I was jokingly called a fake fan for not listening to this song.

4. Kiss Me, Son Of God

Before the song started, I made a passing reference to the time that TMBG played this song on TV, but then the broadcast stopped once they sang a certain part of the song.

5. Ana Ng

W/ Chao singing the "I don't want the world" part.

6. Your Racist Friend

Since this coming Monday is MLK day, we dedicated this song to him.

7. Particle Man

8. Lucky Ball & Chain

9. Whistling In The Dark

W/ Footi playing the chest-mounted bass drum.

Played in B Major, like how the Johns played it before the backing band (rather than C Major like how it’s played nowadays).

Before the song, we joked about how the chest-mounted bass drum was invented just for this song.

10. Don't Let's Start

Before the song, I mentioned how this song was used in a PBS Kids GO! bumper, while also referencing our tv performance of "Kids Go!" from a few weeks ago (which featured Footi on guitar).

11. -> The Famous Polka

As shown by the colored text, we did in fact sing the ending lyrics.

12. Chess Piece Face

13. Hearing Aid

14. Istanbul (Not Constantinople)

Technically this was Footi on lead, with me on backing, but it could also be vice versa (you could go either way, really).

The song started out in E Minor (same key as Cage & Aquarium), but after the long pause between "I can't say" and "no you can't go back", where we added reverb to the mics and yelled lyrics as if we were on the floor (similar to performances in 1992), the song switched to F Minor (the song's original key).

15. -> (She Was A) Hotel Detective

16. James K. Polk

We performed the original version of the song from the Istanbul EP.

17. 32 Footsteps

W/ Footi playing the "Special 20" harmonica.

Similar to Whistling In The Dark, I stated that this particular harmonica was created just for this song.

18. Birdhouse In Your Soul

Played in its original key.

19. Cowtown

Just like TMBG, we had the audience do a square dance for this song.

20. Road Movie To Berlin

21. Twisting

22. Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes

Encore #1:

23. Shoehorn With Teeth

W/ Chao playing the glockenspiel.

Footi and Chao wore long, rolled-up carpets for hats.

24. Mr. Me

Encore #2:

25. I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die

The reason I colored it like this is because aside from Footi singing the first verse alone, and me singing the second verse alone, neither of us were labelled as "backing vocals".

26. Cage & Aquarium

27. -> I've Got A Match

28. Sapphire Bullets Of Pure

29. She's An Angel

Apologies if I have to reblog this, just in case I can't fit all of the song names into the tags.

Also, expect a reblog of the previous concert for that same reason later today.

And don't worry about the Fridays shows, I'll get back to that soon.

[pbandjesse]

I did feel a lot better today. That's not to say I felt all better. But I did feel better. I was functional. And I had a pretty nice day overall.

I did not sleep well though. I literally slept with a hairbrush because I was so incredibly itchy. And my ribs hurt every time I moved. So it was not a good sleep at all. When James woke up for the day I was also a little awake. But would try and keep sleeping. It was not easy at all.

When I woke up at 9 I was pretty miserable. It was very dark outside. It was sleeting and raining and foggy for most of the day. But I was trying very hard to be positive even if I felt very bad.

I went and turned the shower on. I made the bed. And brushed my teeth. And googled my symptoms. I don't like to trust that in general but with everything I felt like I needed to see if I could find a direction. And with the itchy and the enzymes in my liver I may have found something. I sent an email to the OB office about am what I found and within the hour they were telling me to go get more blood work. I did not mind getting checked out more. I just want everything to be okay.

The shower helped. I had gotten a new body wash and it's moisturizing so I was hoping it would help the itchy. And it didn't really but maybe a little bit. I felt a little better once I was clean.

I loved my outfit. I love this sweat dress and this black sweater is my favorite. I wore my new maternity leggings and they are pretty comfortable. I felt cute and that helped my brain feel better.

I had cereal. I made it special with dried strawberries. I spent some time going through my hospital bag. Decided that it was still solid after spending the night in the hospital.

I finally got the order from the doctor's to go to the LabCorp to get my blood drawn. I was anxious about going because I hadn't been there before. It was an unknown parking situation. But it would be fine.

When I got over there I did struggle to park because of trucks double parking. And then I wasn't 100% sure where the entrance was. But I figured it out.

I didn't have a print out of the order so I had to email it which took some time for the to get. But I wasn't in a rush. A woman had her baby and he couldn't walk yet but was crawling around all over and was being so cute. She didn't speak English and was taking a while to check in so she didn't notice that baby was in my purse. Taking my wallet! It was really funny. I was just letting it happen. I was like. Baby, I need that. And I kept putting it back in and he would take it again. It was very silly.

When I finally got taken back the phelbotomist was very nice. I told them all about the drama of my blood draws this week. So they tried a tiny needle above my elbow and that went poorly! Not only did it like fall out, it made an air sound when it did that sounded like a bike tire, and I started bleeding all over everything. The tech was so nice and we were laughing but man was is ridiculous. I was fine but they were so apologetic.

They would have better luck in my hand. And I got two vials taken. I invited them to the museum. They were really sweet. I thanked them for taking my blood. And headed out.

I was in a good mood honestly. And decided I could attempt to find that last gift for James.

This ended up not working as well as I hoped. I went to the value village in Glen Burnie.

And I had fun. I'm on a show tunes kick and was enjoying listening to Chicago and looking at stuff. I found a print case for $5. A handmade baby sack jacket. A training mug from 1987. I bought a cape. And an option for a gift for James but it's not ideal ideal. I may try another place tomorrow. But I was still having fun looking.

It was really gross outside. Cold and wet. I decided to go get a sandwich. I went to Jimmy John's. But I even after eating it was a bit to early to go to the museum. So I went home.

When I got back here I just rested for a while. Played animal crossing. Fixed my eyeliner. I think I was able to get all of my earned vacation time from camp so I will be able to meet my savings goal! That made me happy.

I did get an email from Paula at the museum though that I accidentally didn't get paid for my last two events. Oops. I checked and my paycheck was $35. She apologized and my next check will have everything. So between camp and that I will be in a pretty excellent place as I go into a very slow month.

I left here at 4 so I could see James before they came home. Traffic was bad but it was fine. I got to the museum by 430. And was really happy to see my husband.

I was also just excited to work with Meril. Love working with Meril. But there was some catering drama so she was a little distracted at times. It would still be a really fun evening.

I went and made a chase for the couple. And they were such a sweet couple and were so excited to see the print. And their guests really liked it too!

The museum felt very full and busy, because of the weather they had so many people waiting inside. And everything was a bit chaotic. But it was still nice. I wish I had gotten more deviled eggs from the caterers but because the wedding started a half hour late everything was a bit thrown off. But that's alright.

I enjoyed my time printing. And handsome lovely conversations with guests. And with my coworkers. It was really nice having all the galleries open. And the couple gave us $50 tips each! That is so nice.

Because the timing was all off the dinner wasn't going to be available to staff until 830. I didn't want any of it anyway so when we were done we just chilled at the front desk talking for a while. I was telling them about how much I enjoy half birthdays. And we were all just chatting and it was nice. But when Meril said we could chose to leave now if we didn't want to wait for food I was like. Oh perfect. I will go home.

And that was perfect timing because I was getting a pain in my side. Which thankfully now has gone away after sitting on the couch for a while. Thankfully my back never started hurting but I won't lie, I was getting nervous in the car with my side hurting so bad.

Traffic was still bad. And it was tough to find a parking space when I got home. But someone left once I circled the block. And James had a quesadilla for me when I got inside.

We laid on the couch together for a while. And now I am just very ready to get in bed. I feel itchy again. But hopefully it's not as bad tonight.

I hope tomorrow is a calm down. I hope you all have a lovely day. Take care of yourselves. Goodnight!

[lovelylionh3art]

okay listen rq guys, yk hozier’s new song “too sweet” i CANNOT stop thinking of a situation where james says this to lily when they break up in reference to regulus. the first analogy being the surface level,

“You know you're bright as the morning

As soft as the rain

Pretty as a vine

As sweet as a grape

If you can sit in a barrel

Maybe I'll wait

Until that day..”

so here it recognises james love for lily, shes lovely. he cares about her. but he doesn’t see depth in her, he doesn’t see harshness and darkness. and then,

“I'd rather take my whiskey neat

My coffee black and my bed at three

You're too sweet for me

You're too sweet for me

I take my whiskey neat

My coffee black and my bed at three

You're too sweet for me

You're too sweet for me”

he needs someone who has darkness, who has layers and takes work to love. he needs the challenge. and after thinking he was in the relationship he always dreamed of, the perfect easy love. he realised that thats not how he loves. he loves because he wants to, because he dares too. and lily has become too natural and too easy, boring even. but not her as a person. just in a romantic sense, james needs excitement. and lets not even talk about, “my coffee black in my bed at three” like its literally regulus black cmon.

also dont get me started on “Don't you just wanna wake up

Dark as a lake

Smellin' like a bonfire

Lost in a haze?”

THE LAKE ARE YOU KIDDING

this gives me such drunk on love vibes too, like he needs that adventure and adrenaline it takes to love someone as intricate as regulus black. im nor saying liky isnt intricate, but im saying james is not the right person to see all those parts of her. in the right way anyway.

basically what im saying is james wants dangerous love, he wants a new obstacle every day and regulus can give him that, he will give him trial after trial and love him to smithereens through all of it, but lilys love cannot because shes “too sweet”

obviously this whole idea would be in a very specific context and situation. i would imagine it as a conversation after their break up, maybe even a couple months or years where james has started his relationship with reg, or maybe not and hes just inlove with him but already finds so much joy out of attempting to knock his walls down. or something idk. but they may have reconnected or lily has asked james why exactly it couldn’t work for them. im not entirely sure but i just couldn’t get the idea out of my head. if anyone has anything to say or add or even if you wanna take this and run with it for a fic pleaseeee let me know cus id love to see 🩷🩷

[duskyvision]

m. l. rio - if we were villains

Hi, it's been a while! I've been itching to write a book review because it's been over a year now, and sometimes I just have to scream about books in other places than on Discord (I still scream about books on Discord, but shh).

So why not just write a book review about a book that I did not enjoy? Haha, what a funny thing nobody has ever done before! I sure wonder what this funny guy is going to say about this book he didn't enjoy.

Anyway, this is going to be pretty long, and I'm gonna bitch about a bunch of stuff in here. Will contain spoilers.

Content warnings:

substance abuse (alcohol, drugs)

cheating

suicide

This book was my first venture into the dark academia genre/aesthetic, something I'd seen a bunch of stolen Tiktoks about on my Pinterest feed, but never paid too much attention to, mostly because I don't really care about stories centered on students. Maybe that should have been my first warning sign.

Initially, I wanted to read The Secret History by Donna Tartt because that's apparently what's seen as the dark academia staple, but I decided to stick to this because it was the only book I'd found an audiobook of on Scribd, and audiobooks are more digestible. Read a bit of the blurb and thought, "okay, sounds like it could be interesting".

Man was I wrong.

Reading the blurb, I already knew I'd have to handle pretty pretentious characters, because there's nothing more pretentious than a group of more or less wealthy white theater kids obsessed with Shakespeare (except for rich white business majors and law majors, put one of each category in a locked room and they'd maul each other within 0.5 seconds like wild beasts trying to one-up the other), but holy shit, it was worse than I'd anticipated.

The writing makes everyone and especially Oliver (the narrator) sound insufferable to the point where I wished they could simply shut up. Unfortunately, this book has slug-like pacing and bitches who love to talk on top of chapters that are padded with lines copied verbatim from Shakespeare plays because admittedly you need a very high IQ to understand the nuances and intricacies of Shakespeare plays and how it influences the characters.

And while we're still on writing: while in theory, the script-like snippets are a fun nod to how plays are formatted, it simply doesn't work in audiobook format. Really grating to hear things like "James: Cock" "Me: So true bestie" when my patience was already wearing thin the more I listened to it.

Yet, the writing wasn't the most infuriating aspect of this book to me. I think what infuriates me the most about If We Were Villains is that, ultimately, the entire book tries so hard to be deep and emotional regarding its plot and its characters when said plot is predictably boring and the characters have the depth of a single sheet of paper.

So let's talk about the plot! By the halfway point in the first part of the book, it was made obvious who would die between the main characters, but comically so. The moment Richard started acting up, I felt like the author slapped a huge sign on his head like "Watch out! He's either the bad guy or... THE VICTIM! OMG!" because there was no way Mrs Rio could come back from turning Richard into a goofy Sunday morning kids cartoon villain. And as soon as Richard died, I also predicted the twist itself, because it was so goddamn obvious it felt like it was screamed into my ears.

Now, I usually don't mind if a plotline is predictable. Actually, I enjoy it! It makes me feel smart to predict things and figure out what's happening, and it usually keeps me engaged rather than plot twists that are pulled out of the author's ass! The problem with this book, though, is that I wasn't engaged in the characters to begin with, so following them going through their problems after Richard's death just made me feel a total sense of apathy followed by "so... when are we getting to more plot?"

It focuses too much on trying to give emotional depth to characters whom, in my opinion, severely lack it to begin with. The main characters aren't interesting to me, they're just puppets with names on them at this point. They can really just be summed up into archetypes that are barely explored in a way that feels compelling:

Oliver: The average joe. Oh, look at him, he's so average and surrounded by people who are so much more interesting than him (this is a lie)!

James: The guy. I'm struggling to find anything interesting about him, besides the fact that he's Oliver's best friend and roommate. You can tell he's important because he's Oliver's roommate. I think a loaf of white bread would be more memorable as a character than him.

Richard: Probably the most interesting character in the cast, ironically, solely because he's a fish out of the water. By that, I mean that he's just a jock in the middle of theater kids. Besides that, he's laughable at best: the author tries so hard to make him devoid of anything sympathetic in the moments leading up to his death that it nullifies any emotional investment you could have in any of the characters.

Meredith: The hot girl but like not in an objectified way, in a gaslight gatekeep girlboss way (this is a lie). Richard's girlfriend. Can't catch a break because everyone and their mom objectifies and slut shames her. She usually breasts boobily, not in written script but in spirit due to how her role in the story is pretty much "piece of meat".

Alexander: The weed-smoking gay literature major stereotype, except in a special way because he objectifies Meredith too, for some reason. Diversity win! Gay man is also gross towards women!

Filippa, Wren and Colin: Filippa and Wren exist for the sole purpose of not turning this cast into a complete sausage fest (& Knuckles Meredith). Filippa is the good friend who covers everyone, and Wren is the fragile frail uwu girl. Colin exists solely to be Alexander's boyfriend.

What a totally charming cast of characters who are oh so full of depth, and completely developed throughout this book. There's also a detective guy, but I completely forgot his name because the book spent too much time on this group of pretentious theater kids whining about their interpersonal relationships.

Man, just talking about how much this book bored me is becoming a pain in the ass, so I'll just summarize what I thought about the book here:

Pretentious, flowery writing with sluggish and often jarring pacing

Characters who are equally pretentious and whose high airs desperately try to hide the innate nothing burger-ness of their existence

Extremely predictable plot that's handed to the reader on a platter by the first part, making the reading experience that much more boring when you have 0 affinity nor sympathy for any of the cast members

Final rating: 1/5 (2.29/10 on CAWPILE). I should have dropped this book when I predicted the entire plot instead of being stubborn.

[natashxromanovf]

📜 - send me an scenario for a drabble (it can have a prompt or not, you choose) and i’ll try my best to write it (once again, only for the fandoms listed above)

rockstar!remus asking you out on your first date from the stage?

Back home

rockstar!remus lupin x reader

wc: around 500

warnings: some poor writing because i’m trying to get back into it lmaoo

a/n: i love this idea so much! i used the song cars outside by james arthur because i just love it so much. i had a lot of fun writing this but i have to warn that it might suck <33

celebration is still open!!

befriending remus lupin has got to be one of the best things that ever happened in your life. you remember how a couple of years ago he was just a cute nerd in your class and now he’s on stage with his band, performing in front of a whole stadium. a full one at that.

you couldn’t be more proud of him. he loves music and you know that this means the world to him. he always dreamt of this, and now it is becoming a reality.

you’re in the middle of screaming the outro to one of their songs, a huge smile on your face. of course remus made sure you come, giving you the tickets to the very front row. the song comes to an end and people calm down slightly, taking a breath or two, already preparing for the next song. you look up, seeing remus already looking at you. even in the dark, you still manage to find his bright eyes.

“this next song is for someone very special,” he starts, screams of excitement filling up the room. you look around confused, not knowing what he’s talking about. when did the concert plan change? “it’s our first time playing the song, but we know we want to play it right now because it’s the first time after a while that this person is at one of our concerts,” he continues, a huge smile appearing on his face. “y/n, this is for you,” he confesses, starting to play the melody. you’re too surprised to react, just standing there while everyone around you screams their lungs out.

i’m packin' my bags that I didn't unpack the last time. i’m sayin', "see you again," so many times, it's becoming my tagline. but you know the truth, i'd rather hold you, than try to catch this flight

you finally come out of the trans, registering the words he’s singing. this isn’t a regular friendship song - he’s confessing his love.

oh, darling, all of the city lights never shine as bright as your eyes

you almost start crying. he’s too sweet for this world, honestly. it’s true that you wanted to be more than a friend for a while now but with his tour and all the concerts, you didn’t even have the chance to say anything. and now he’s finally back home, singing a song he wrote. for you.

i don't wanna leave you, ooh-ooh, ah i don't wanna leave you, ooh-ooh, ah i don't wanna leave you, don't wanna leave you anymore

this can’t be real. no, you must be dreaming. but of course you aren’t because this is remus we’re talking about. he would do something like this because this is just the kind of person that he is. always the romantic type, always the one who pays the most attention, who listens, who sees things. and of course he caught on with your feelings because this is just what he does. and he feels the same. remus lupin loves you. the same nerd you met in college, the same remus who made you laugh when no one else could.

“y/n, i’m sorry,” he starts, walking off stage to where you’re standing, taking your hand in his. “i’m sorry for never being home, for all the plans i had to cancel, for all the times the time difference made sure we didn’t talk for days. i can’t promise all those things won’t happen ever again but i can’t ever leave home again without letting you know how i really feel. because every time i say goodbye, my heart aches when i can’t kiss you. every time i see you again after a long time, all i wanna do is wrap you in my arms and kiss you until i can’t breath anymore. but i can’t do that because i always chicken out of telling you. and i’m sick of being afraid, i’m sick of the possibility of missing out on these beautiful years with you because of my fears. so, this is my confession,” he finishes, looking at you expectantly. you don’t even have to think about this - the answer is yes, the answer always was yes and will forever be yes.

“i love you too, dummy,” you laugh, pressing your lips against his in a very passionate kiss. the whole stadium screams but you can’t hear anything other than remus’ happy laugh when he wraps you in a tight hug.

harry potter taglist: @yoongisbiwife @sexysirius @pregnant-piggy @lilylovegood @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts @leossmoonn @msfandomfreak @pottahishotasf @johnmurphyisqueer @griffxnnage @fairydxll @lovelyjj @cupids-crystals @marauders-babe @alexxavicry

remus lupin: @velvetcloxds @jackys-stuff-blog @mollysolo @eichenhouseproperty @uwiuwi @whovianwholikesgirls @liltimmyst

[kortsitron]

Let It Out

Pairing: Bucky Barnes × Gender Neutral! Reader

Warnings: depression, agnst, this shit kinda dark, mental illness, anxiety, overthinking, mention of suicide with mentioning it, hurt/comfort 

Summary: Reader is in a dark place and after being scared and tired of their own thoughts, they need to talk about it with someone.

Also now _____ is the new version of (Y/N), tell me if you like that version more

Author’s Note: Please if you're not feeling good, reach out for help! Talk about your problems with someone you trust! It will be better! Remember that if you're not feeling comfortable reading this, don't do it, don't make yourself do things that you don't wanna do. Also this is kinda a vent cuz I need to let emotions out, so yeah :P

Also keep in my mind that I haven’t been writing for a while, so this might be shit and out of character

It has been getting worse lately and it scared you. Your mental health has been a mess for as long as you can remember, but now it was worse than ever. Your thoughts were so loud, and throughout your day you knew will be the same as every other night. Crying in your bed, horrified and just wanting it all to stop. You just wanted to be safe from it all. 

You've been laying in your bed, feeling tears come to your eyes while your phone called in the middle of the night. It was Bucky. You haven't heard from him for a week, because he was on a mission. You were stunned and you weren't sure if you wanted to answer. You didn't want James to hear that you've been in a dark place lately, however you decided to answer and at least try distracting yourself from these awful thoughts. “Hello?” You murmured, scared your voice might break if you said it louder.

“Hi _____! I didn't wake you up, did I?” He greeted you with a cheerful tone, you could tell he was happy to be back. “Oh, no you didn't. I wasn't asleep, I was actually kinda bored.” You faked a laugh, hoping it would sound real and he won't suspect a thing. “How was the mission?”

“It's been pretty tough, but luckily I didn't get hurt too much. I have bruises here and there, but no serious injuries, so nothing to worry about.”

“That's good.” You replied, thinking how to get the conversation going, you had no idea what to say.

“I was thinking, since I'm back, maybe you wanna go grab a dinner with me tomorrow. We then could go for a walk or go to my apartment and watch a movie. What do you think?” Your heart melted a bit, and you couldn't help but smile.

That sentence made you distressed, you didn't want this call to end. You knew if it ended, thoughts would harass you again. “Please don't hang up!” You sobbed, it was almost automatic. It was a cry for help. You could tell that you caught Bucky off guard and there was silence which felt like forever. Without a second thought you continued. “Please Bucky, I don't wanna be alone.” Your voice broke and tears went down your face. Bucky heard soft crying and he felt his heart slowly break.

“I would love to do that, James.” You whispered, feeling your cheeks getting hot. You could tell that he was happy to hear that answer and he started talking about what plans he had for the near future like helping Steve with assembling a new closet that he ordered or finally reading a book that he bought some time ago. You were cheery to listen to him. You weren't talking a lot during that conversation, you just were answering with short sentences and "mhm" sounds. It made James think that you were tired.

“You know ______, I don't want you to be tired for tomorrow so I think I'll be going, okay?”

“Is everything alright?” Was all he could think about at the time, even though he knew what answer he was going to get.

“No. I'm.. I'm so scared.” You were shaking, it was your thoughts so loud again. “Don't leave me alone with my thoughts, please. They're so horrifying, it's too much.”

“I've got you, _____. Let it out. I'm here for you.” That made you cry even harder and let out all the terrifying things that have been on your mind for a while. James was just listening, trying to imagine what has been going on lately. And it made him wonder if there was something he could do to help you or if there were any signs he didn't notice at the time. 

“Thank you for telling me. I really appreciate that you trust me so much. I'll do anything to help you, we'll get through this together. Is there anything I can do for you at the moment?”

You finally felt relieved and not like there was no way to help fight you. You felt a bit of hope, after all these days in the dark of your own mind. You felt yourself zooming out, after so much crying.

“_____?” James called, bringing you back.

“Yes?”

“Please come over, I don't wanna sleep alone tonight.” Your voice was a bit weak from the crying, it was so quiet that James could barely hear you.

“Of course. Do you want me to stay on the phone till I get to your apartment?”

“Yes please.”

“Alright, I need to put on a jacket and shoes, and I'm basically ready to go. I should be at your place in around 10 minutes.” James without thinking was telling you everything he was doing, to keep you at peace, before finally arriving at your place and ending a call. When you opened the door and he saw your red face and puffy eyes, he couldn't help himself and gave you a hug. A hug that you wanted to feel for so long. It made you sob again. The feeling of safety James brought with him. You truly felt like you weren't alone and you weren't going to lose that battle.

[kxokiemonster]

Snippet: the Marauders (+ Regulus) taking care of Nymphadora.

When Andromeda leaves them with her baby for a whole day, no one could have predicted it would be such a disaster.

Everyone think Sirius is going to be the good one with children because he is Sirius, but he just panics. Sirius picks up the child really happy but the moment the baby cries, he is out.

Part of it is because he is scared he will fuck up children the way his parents did with him.

"Moony" he yelps watching the baby cry in his arms, "help".

Remus, who doesn't want to get near children because he thinks they will get scared of him, has to pick the baby up.

Remus can and will keep the baby for as long as you let him, but only if she's sleeping. He just finds it relaxing. However, babies are not that much of a problem. Not like toddlers, whatsoever. Toddlers fear Remus because of his scars and it doesn't how many times Sirius tells him he is really sexy and perfect with the scars, Remus still wishes he didn't have them, that he was normal.

"Why do you always do the same?" Remus scoffs passing the baby to James.

James is naturally good with children, they just love him. He is, however, scared to death of not knowing how to help the kid. He is okay with normal cries (like when they are tired or need to eat), but if the kid gets hurt he starts the panic and can't think of anything.

Peter is strangly good at getting children to sleep (not so much with babies because he hates to idea of smelling poop or changing a diaper). He loves to tell scary stories to them and the rest look impressed because how can he make children laugh while telling the plot of Chucky? They don't question him because if it works, it works. Peter is also the one the propose the craziest and most complicated games someone could ever imagine. James and Sirius are fast to jump in, listening to the rules of whatever game Peter is playing with the children.

Nymphadora is only over a year so Peter can't do much apart from helping heating the bottles or preparing the bath, but he is more than okay with it.

The most surprising is Regulus. At least for most of them. James knew that Regulus could be soft and sweet, but he didn't know Regulus was able to smile so much until a one-year-old was given to him.

"Stop looking at me like I'm going to drop the baby" he snaps at Remus, Peter and James after they have been staring for a good three minutes.

"We are..." Peter starts, not sure on how to continue.

"Surprised" finishes Remus quickly, looking at how lost Peter looked.

"Fuck, you look good" James mumbles, hearts coming out of his eyes. "Can't wait until it's our children you're carrying"

"Potter" Regulus threatens, a little smile on his lips.

Peter and Sirius make a sign like they are gagging, but Remus just observes them with a raised brow.

"How are you so good with children and Sirius is so bad with them?" he asks after a moment.

Because Regulus has had the baby for almost an hour and it had only cried once (she was hungry and Regulus was quick to give her a bottle, calming the baby instantly).

The question made Regulus go rigid: his knuckles turning white, his jaw clenched and his eyes dark with something Remus couldn't decipher.

"You have to be if you are the one to carry the next heir of the noble and most ancient house of Black" he spats, like it's a learnt discourse.

"Why would you be...?" starts Peter, not getting it.

"Because I have a vagina, Peter" a silent falls on all of them before Regulus sighs. "Sorry, that was rude. I didn't mean to snap at you"

The baby squirms between Regulus' arms, but he is fast to calm her down again.

"It's good" Peter waves his hand like it's nothing. "I just didn't know you have a vagina"

"He does"

And James can feel the blush on all his face while Sirius sends him a killer look because they had answered at the same time. And okay, Sirius is okay with them dating but he don't need the reminder that his best friend his shagging his little brother.

Regulus ignores them, answering people instead.

"Yeah. That's why it was such a problem when Sirius ran away, my parents didn't want me as head of the family" he explains calm, like it's not a traumatic moment of his life. "Now they can't get a heir out of me since I'm with a blood traitor. Right, Dora?" he asks the baby with a voice a few pitches higher like she could understand him.

Remus looks at Regulus worried. How could Regulus say those things so easily? Like it wasn't his whole life being controlled or taken away because of who he loves? Then again, the Black brothers were made of something else because Sirius was looking at his little brother trying not to laugh while Regulus kept spilling trauma to the baby on a high pitch voice. James looks as enamoured as always because that boy is a lost cause. Peter is the only other sane, looking at them scared before connecting his gaze with Remus.

They definitely aren't going to last a whole day.