#don't know fi that makes sense but fuck it sdjlkfsd. you get the gist.
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...Highkey was not. Expecting this one ramble I wrote of Ishtar to end up digging into some really personal vulnerabilities around my own.
...But. After several months of wanting to start opening the doors to rambling on these things (& chickening out) I finally. Got things down.
#This is. something I'm only sharing w friends i trust tho. DM only type of stuff cause its... its a writing that has roots in some.#very deeply personal/vulnerable type of stuff. & like. I kind of always fear judgment around this sort of stuff too?#when it comes to. writing on this particular topic. its cathartic to me in processing things. but i know it can be not easy a read?#I've already hinted at it before & i mean i know in the end on TH ima eventually have it labeled what this sorta ordeal is.#its not somethn i really expect will come up tho outside of like... if im musing w someone i trust & only in terms of like.#sharing/rambling abt backstory stuff or hcing things around chars opening up? or writing things abt chars opening up? i.#don't know fi that makes sense but fuck it sdjlkfsd. you get the gist.#its not somethn i will bring up in spaces where its not allowed & even in my own personal public spaces its a subject i kinda prefer to uh#not get TOO too into. the in depths are only known by ppl i trust & thats that. & thats only if they ofc arent the type to judge.#i love sharing my stuff w friends even if its more intense subjects? (given they can handle it obviously i aint droppin it on em w/o warnin#cause i know myself w what i write so). my only gist is i just fear those close to me judging is all. since its a lot of.#vulnerability ig that goes into this stuff for me.#...in time i do... plan to let myself open up more. be vulnerable more through my work ig.#it helps a lot w catharsis ig.#regardless... i gotta get back to research stuff#ishtar rambles ;#anyway personal hidden oc / sona / w.e lore that only is known to ppl i want it known by. & its not somethn that like ever's gonna be like.#brought up in spaces where its not permitted to discuss those things so yknow. yeah. esp bc the theme of this topic is kinda 18+?#w the ramble i mean. bc of subject material but it takes on a sorta heavy topic type of vibe really? so.#its not like 'sexy time 18+' stuff LOL-does touch on ordeals of sexuality yeah. but. the rest is analysis & touching on their past & some.#things that are again. sorta heavier talks & in gen other things.
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