#don't get me started on the reactions Linda Linda gets

[mclennonlgbt]

(JUST LIKE) STARTING OVER WAS DEFINITELY FOR PAUL – a compilation

A meaningful wordplay As you know, John attached great importance to the lyrics of his songs. He liked to smuggle in word games and hidden meanings. Let's look at a fragment of the lyrics of "(Just Like) Starting Over". It's time to spread our wings and fly Wings was Paul's band in the 1970s.

Don't let another day go by

"Another Day" is a song by Paul and Linda that was released as the A-side of a non-album single in February 1971. It was Paul's debut single, following the Beatles break-up in 1970. (Sidenote: giving credits to both himself and Linda, Paul broke up the Lennon-McCartney partnership, angering Allen Klein).

my love

"My Love" is a 1973 song by Wings. The single was viewed as Wings' first significant success.

2. The demos

In the first demo, John uses the word "walrus":

Everyday we used to make it love so why can’t we be making love – it’s easy. The time has come, the walrus said, for you and me to stay in bed again, it’ll be just like starting over

The walrus is a famous motif from Beatles songs. In the song "I Am The Walrus" (1967) John declares that he is the titular walrus, a year later in "Glass Onion" he stated: „And here’s another clue to you all – the walrus was Paul”. In "God" (1970) John sings: "I was the walrus." In an interview from 1969 or 1970, George jokes: „And if you are listening, I am the walrus too”. Regardless of which Beatles was the walrus, John is for sure giving us an interesting clue here.

As for „in bed”:

Here's another fascinating demo... This requires no comment. It's just that John suddenly referred to "Why Don't We Do it In the Road", a song by Paul from the Beatles era.

EDIT:

The whole fragment is:

Just take your clothes off honey, and stick your nose in money.. why don’t we… do it in the road?! (Laughs) A little hotel where we used to screw A little place down in Montauk Just you, me, the cook and the servants too

As @i-am-the-oyster pointed out (the screen is theirs) - it's a 17 minute drive from Paul's house in the Hamptons to Montauk Motel.

3. John explaining who the song is for

„I’m not aiming, I am not aiming at 16 year olds. If they can dig it, please dig it. But when I was singing and writing this and working with her, I was visualizing all the people of my age group from the 60s. Being in their 30s and 40s now, just like me, and having wives and children and having gone through everything together, I am singing to them! I hope the young kids like it as well, but I’m really talking to the people that grew up with me and saying: „Here I am now, how are you? How’s your relationship going? Did you get through it all? Wasn’t the 70s a drag? You know, here we are, let’s try and make the 80s good, you know, because it’s still up to us to make what we can of it. It’s not out of our control”. I still believe in love, peace. I still believe in positive thinking when I can do it. I’m not always positive but when I am, I try and project it”.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqxPx2Tvf6A

Let’s point out that the song which convinced John to come out of retirement was „Coming up” by Paul. You want a love to last forever One that will never fade away I want to help you with your problem Stick around, I say

(…)

You want some peace and understanding So everybody can be free I know that we can get together We can make it, stick with me

BONUS (this is not evidence or premise, but maybe Paul understood that the song was addressed to him): Paul's reaction to the song after John's death.

„…Time passed. Paul locked the door of his home studio and played (Just Like) Starting Over, the first single from Double Fantasy. Top volume. For days”.

- Christopher Sandford, „McCartney”

EDIT:

(it's also @i-am-the-oyster's reveal): One Sweet Dream podcast did an interview where May Pang agreed with the host (JL)SO was for Paul and emphasised that it wasn't about Yoko -- it's a patrons-only episode so I can't link it, but it's April 2023, around the 1h29 mark).

I would take it with a grain of salt, though, because May (for valid reasons) dislikes Yoko.

As @paul-mccartney-official noticed, the stripped down mix of this song begins with:

When they were teenagers, John and Paul identified with their musical idols: John was Buddy Holly and Paul was Little Richard or Elvis.

This is Lennon talking about his and McCartney's meeting at Village Woolton fete:

It is possible that John refers to his youthful years in this dedication. However, there is also an option that he mentioned his former idols, because "(Just like) starting over" musically refers to the 1950s. It depends on you what you believe in.

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Hola amor!

A fluffy request about the reader (idk what nationality, I'll let you choose) tryna learn spanish for Gavi, but what he didn't know was you're starting to master it. So maybe one day you surprised him by suddenly speaking fluently in Spanish. Hehe I got inspired by this girl I saw on tiktok, the boy's reaction was priceless! Haha and I was also learning Spanish too. Gracias!

Doing this with 🇵🇹 nationality😌 THANKS FOR THE REQUEST, LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKED IT AND SORRY FOR THE LATENESS😭 I've been so busy lately😭

Also, fic celebration for the 700 followers... I still can't believe it. Thank you🥹🫶🏼

Una Experta -P.G

Summary: You surprise your boyfriend by showing your skills in Spanish

"Come on, mi amor. It's easy" Your boyfriend of a year and half said softly

"I know it is, I just can't get a hold of it sometimes, Pabs!" You exclaimed a bit frustrated whenever your tongue didn't connected with your mind whenever you had to speak Spanish and yelled when you burned your hand with the heating pan "Não foda! Essa merda é quente. Vou ficar com uma chaga tremenda e bem na palma da mão!" (Fuck! That shit is hot. I'm going to have a tremendous sore right on the palm of my hand!)

"Amor, be careful!" Pablo said inmediately grabbing your burned hand and the other on your waist guiding you towards the sink and bringing your hand under the cold water as you hissed from the temperature change "Lo siento"

"It's fine" You hissed when his fingers carressed your burned palm "Amor"

"Sorry, mi vida" He kissed your cheek as you let out a few tears of both, pain and frustration. He let you quickly to grab the ice pack and came back putting it in your hand "Let's go to the bedroom, amorcito" He kissed your cheek again and dried your tears with his hand, guiding the two of you upstairs.

He took off his shirt and got to the bathroom to grab the medical kit, you sat on his side of the bed and watched him come back to you ready to take care of your burn.

After he was done, he left a kiss on it and left a kiss on your lips as well, before getting you inside the covers, he putted away the things he used and turned the TV on, getting under the covers with you in his arms.

"Amor" He said softly after a while "I love the effort you are doing in learning my language but don't stress too much because of it, okay?" He said against your hair "I love you too much and I don't want you sad or mad about it. You will eventually do it at perfection, I know it. Spanish isn't easy and we just gotta keep trying" You smiled softly. "Like, I barely know three words in Portuguese and still I am trying" You laughed

He was so cute and he was-is, so yours.

But the thing on this is... You already knew Spanish and were trying to perfection it, Pablo though doesn't know that, how did you communicated with someone before him? Yes, with broken Spanish and lots of English.

But it doesn't help the fact that you confuse Spanish words with your native words, since some of them sounded and were the same. It was a bit hard processing it and your mind sometimes shortcircuited because of it.

"I know, mi amor" You said kissing his naked chest "I know, I just-" You sigh "Wanna be able to communicate with you in your native languague. I know how hard is English for you sometimes" He smiles softly

"I can handle that" You giggled "However, Portuguese is really hard and I'm still trying, mi linda"

"I know you do and I'm proud of you for it" You smile "Além disso, você fala muito fofo em português, seu sotaque sevilhano soa muito pesado com isso. Eu amo isso" (Besides, your way too cute talking in Portuguese, your Sevillan accent sounds way too heavy with it. I love it)

"¿Ah? You said Love, right? You said love" He confirmed as you giggle "I hope you said you love me because I love you too" You smile nodding and gave him a kiss on his cheek when his phone dinged and he grabbed it showing you, proudly, his lockscreen.

A picture of the two of you appeared and you smiled hiding your face into his neck "Nos vemos lindos" (We look pretty)

"Of course we do" He buffed as you shook your head rolling your eyes secretly loving his confidence. "It seems like we've got some company in five days"

"Who?"

"Your suegros" He winked and you blushed

"They'll be staying?" You ask smiling as he nods

"Two days" You sigh softly

"Gotta tidy up the guest room tomorrow then"

"I'll help you, amorcito. Don't worry"

...

"¿Y Pablo?" (And Pablo?) Belén asked as you chatted with her meanwhile el señor Pablo, her husband, showered.

"Ha salido a hacer unas compras de último minuto. Mañana quisiera hacer su platillo familiar, que me has dado la receta pero no había podido ponerla en prueba" (He went out to do some grocery shopping of last minute. I wanna do your family dish tomorrow, you gave me the recipe but I couldn't put it on test) She laughed "Y bueno... Que mejor situación, que ustedes estén aquí" (And well... What better situation than you guys being here) She let out a little aw and you blushed

"Es bastante sencilla, nada de que preocuparse, ¿Eh?" (It's pretty simple, nothing you had to worry about) She smiled "Eres muy buena cocinera, de seguro te queda exquisito, pero si quieres te puedo ayudar" (You're a really good cooker, I'm sure it will be delicious, if you want I can help you out)

"No te molestes, ustedes son los invitados. Tendré que poner a Pablito que me ayude con la ensalada" (Don't worry about it, you are the guests. I will have to make Pablo help me out with the salad) You both laughed

"Que la va a incendiar, estoy segura" (He'll make it fire, I'm sure of it)

"No, que va. Ha mejorado bastante en sus skills de cocina. Esperemos que no me deje en ridículo luego de haberle defendido si se llega a cortar en lo más mínimo" (No, he won't. He has gotten a lot better in his cooking skills. Let's just hope he doesn't leave me ridiculous after defending him, if he gets to cut himself at least a little) Belén laughed as you smiled when you felt someone gasp.

You turn around and see Pablo with the bag of grocery in his hands

"You're speaking Spanish? Perfectly?"

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to hear your pretty voice speaking my languague fluently!" He exclaimed and almost let the bag fell to the floor if you hadn't grabbed it before. "¡AMOR!" He yelled with a smile on his face "Say it again!"

"¿El qué?" (The what?)

"¡Joder, hostias! ¡Lo estás haciendo!" (Fucking hell! You're doing it!) Belén and you were full on laughing

"Pablo, para" Belén asked (stop)

"I won't, mamá! She's speaking Spanish! That sounded so hot, you don't know how turned on that made me" He told you and you blushed rainbow colors. His mom was sat in front of you.

"¡Hey! Your mom's here!"

"She knows we do those stuffs, right mom?" Belén smiled shaking her head in disbelief "Mi amorcito hermoso, I'm truly happy for you!" He picked you up as you laughed hugging him by his shoulders "But... ¿Desde hace cuánto sabes Español? ¿Y por qué no me habías dicho?" (Since when you speak Spanish? And why you haven't told me that?)

"Surprise?" He smiled shaking his head

"Necesito urgentemente ponerme en clases de Portugués, no me puedo quedar atrás" (I need urgently to take Portuguese classes, I can't be left behind) You and Belén laughed.

"You will not, amor" He smiled and high fived you, intertwining your hands in the end

"Just like I will not let you down tomorrow with the salad, mi experta en español"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld

[albertasunrise]

Hope - Getting Your Hopes Up

Masterlist

Summary: After Joel loses his wife and your best friend during childbirth. You support him as he takes on parenthood on his own at 22. But when feelings start to develop, you battle with the guilt you feel for falling for your best friend’s husband.

Relationships: Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+… this is to avoid spoilers! (So first chapter's a little short but I promise its building... Gonna be away for a few days one a work trip but will try get some more updates out in a few days)

Series Masterlist - Part 1

Joel had instantly sensed that something had changed between you both after the visit to Tommy’s and not for the better. You were more guarded around him. Kept a sort of, metaphorical and sometimes physical, distance from him at all times and he just couldn’t understand what had changed. He had thought the visit had gone well. You and Tommy had hit it off and his brother hadn’t stopped thanking you for the help you were so generously bestowing on him and his daughter.

Maybe that was it.

You were fed up with the sleepless nights and taking care of not only Sarah but him also. When you said you were going to move in and help, he hadn’t thought to ask how long you planned to do that. It had been a few months now. Perhaps you were at the end of your tether and he couldn’t expect you to do this forever.

You on the other hand were wracked with guilt. The feelings you had developed for Joel and the statement he’d made at Tommy’s had led you to avoid any sort of close contact with him. You thought by distancing yourself from him that it would get easier to cope with them but you were wrong. It just confused you further. His sad eyes would follow you as you flitted around the house cleaning or cooking or tending to Sarah. You knew you weren't dealing with this in the right way but there wasn't an instruction manual on this.

'Idiots guide to dealing with your crush on your dead best friend's husband.'

Yeah, there wasn't anything out there to help you navigate these feelings you felt. Then, on a rare and much-needed night out 3 months later with the girls, your friend Linda suggested you try something new.

"Speed dating?" You snorted as you sipped your Mojito.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it." Linda defended, pointing her forefinger at you as she smirked at your reaction "My sister met her fiancé doing it and they're an amazing couple."

"I'm not exactly looking for a husband right now." You chuckled, glancing at Hanna that was watching this interaction with amusement.

"Well, my tall dark and handsome over there would probably happily help you with your dry spell." She chuckled, motioning at the man who had, unbeknown to you, been glancing at you all evening "He's not been able to take his eyes off of you."

"I don't know." You grumbled, smiling at him sweetly before looking back at your friends "I don't know if I-"

"He's coming over." Linda grinned as she playfully elbowed you.

"I think it's time for another round." Piped up Hanna, winking at you "Linda, could you help."

"No… No, no Pleas-" You didn't get to finish your sentence before they were up and leaving you to fend for yourself.

Mr tall dark and handsome seemed to falter a moment before schooling his features and heading over to your table.

"Hi." He said softly, giving you a sweet smile and you felt yourself relax a little as you replied with a quiet "Hey." Back.

"Your friends are about as subtle as a dump truck." He joked and you snorted.

"Understatement."

"I'm Alec." He said, holding his hand out to shake which you accepted as you gave him your name in return.

"I uh… I gotta confess something." He said, scratching the back of his neck bashfully and you felt your pulse quicken "I uh, I'm not very good at this. I just got divorced and my buddy over there dragged me out to find someone to wet my wick."

"Think my friends were trying to achieve something similar." You chuckled "Been going through a bit of a dry spell." You confessed, your cheeks burning in embarrassment.

"Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I pretty much noticed you the moment you walked in with your friends and I… Well, I decided that if there was anyone I wanted to try this whole 'dating' thing with again, it was you."

"I could be a psycho for all you know." You scoffed "How could you possibly know that I was the girl you wanted?"

"Because you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He stated plainly, ripping the air from your lungs "You have honest eyes."

"Honest eyes?" You chuckled and he nodded.

"You can tell a lot about a person from their eyes."

You smiled at his statement. Finding yourself taken by his dark hair and piercing blue eyes. You continued to talk, even when your friends returned with the round of drinks they had promised. They eventually left, demanding you call them with the details to which you rolled your eyes before hugging them goodbye. You stayed at the bar a little while longer. Getting to know Alec intimately. What he liked to read, cook, and do on the weekends. You learned that he had a two-year-old that he had sole custody of. The mother not wanting to be tied down by family. He lit up when you asked if he had a picture and he was quick to pull out a Polaroid that he kept in his wallet.

"My uh… My parents have Noah for the night." He said, smiling nervously at you as he took his shot "Did you uh… do you fancy coming back to my place?"

"Definitely!"

Joel was sitting staring at his mug of coffee when you made your entrance that following morning. He looked up at you briefly before returning to staring at the mug in his hands, watching the steam rise from the drink and fade into nothingness.

"Good night?" He asked, desperately trying to keep his voice steady.

"Great night." You replied, pulling a mug from the cupboard and pouring yourself some coffee from the machine "Really needed it."

"Good." He replied plainly "Glad you enjoyed yourself."

"I did." You continued, completely unaware of the tone Joel was setting "I didn't realise how badly I needed to let my hair down. The last few months haven't allowed for much fun." You chuckled and Joel scoffed.

"Sorry, we're such bores." He grumbled, taking a large swig of his coffee and your brows drew together as you turned to face him.

"You know I didn't mean it that way." You argued, feeling your heart tug a little at the thought he would think you didn't enjoy his company.

"You didn't come home last night." He stated and you felt even more confused by his attitude.

"I uh… I met someone last night and we hooked up." You replied casually, shrugging your shoulders as you blew on the coffee in your grasp.

Joel felt jealousy lick at his soul but he knew he had no right to feel that way. You were only there to help him with Sarah. He had said it himself. You and he were just friends. Nothing more.

"Right, well, would have appreciated a heads up that you weren't coming back." He grumbled, downing the last of his coffee before standing to grab himself a refill "I was worried."

You opened your mouth to argue but stopped in your tracks. You were living under his roof and you should have probably given him a heads up.

"I know sorry." You sighed "Didn't mean to worry ya." You continued as you scraped a hand over your mouth "I wasn't really thinking about you at the time."

"Figures." He snarled and you felt your fuse burn out.

"You know, I think perhaps I should move back home now." You piped up and Joel's eyes widened as he turned on his heel to look at you "Sarah's nearly 5 months old now. You don't need my help anymore."

"I-"

"I'll still be around if you need help but I think it's best if I just go home. I'm only getting in the way now."

"You're not…" Joel trailed off as he tried to find the words to say to stop you from doing this.

From leaving him.

"Sarah's so used to you being around. What if she doesn't like just me being there."

"She'll forget about me in no time." You said softly, starting to feel guilty about the decision you were making "It'll be fine Joel." You assured him "You're a great father!… You don't need me."

You moved out that night. It didn't take you long to pack the clothes you'd brought with you, packing them into your car before saying your goodbyes to Joel and Sarah and driving home. Tears flowed freely down your cheeks as you watched them disappear in the rearview mirror. You hated to leave them but you knew that if you wanted to remain friends, you had to leave. It was the right thing to do.

In the two months that followed, your and Joel's relationship started to mend. You were able to laugh together again. You continued to take care of Sarah on the days he wasn't able to but your evenings were taken up by your new relationship with Alec and his adorable son. The relationship flourished with each date and kiss you shared.

Joel watched from the sidelines as you fell hard and fast for this man. The green monster he had tried to tamp down was trying to crawl its way out every time he was near the two of you. Weekends with you, Alec and Noah had become a common occurrence. Noah seemed to enjoy showing Sarah how to play and she seemed to be just as taken by him.

"Maybe there are wedding bells in their future." Alec joked one Saturday as he watched Noah lay on his tummy on Sarah's play mat beside her. playing with her assortment of toys as she watched him with a wide grin on her face.

"They are super cute together." You piped up, chuckling as Alec wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close so he could kiss you sweetly.

"Not as cute as you too." Chuckled Tommy from his seat beside his brother "It's actually a little sickening." He said as he mimed himself vomiting and you rolled your eyes at him and flipped him off.

"You're just jealous." You teased the younger Miller as you returned to arranging the sides and cutlery on the table.

"Not much time for relationships right now." He replied with a shrug as he took a swig of his beer "What about you brother?"

"Hmm?" Joel hummed as he looked at his brother "What about me?"

"You been on any dates?"

"I'm a widow with a baby." Joel scoffed "Not much time to date between naps, changed diapers and bottle feeds."

"You know we would happily have her for an evening if wanted a night off!" You piped up, looking up at Alec who smiled and nodded at you in agreement.

"I hear there's a speed dating event going on this weekend and the Rising Sun." Alec announced as he scooped up the burgers and placed them on a bun "Didn't a friend of yours meet her fiancé at one?"

"Friend's sister but yes." You replied, "They're like the perfect couple I swear!"

"I'm not looking to date right now." Joel growled, wishing desperately for this conversation to end.

"Oh come on brother, you can't remain alone forever."

"My wife, Sarah's mum, has been dead less than a year." He snapped and rendered you all silent "I lost…" He tried off as his eyes zoned in on you, noting Alec's hand on your hip and how you leaned into him as he planned a tender kiss on your temple.

"Sorry, Joel." Piped up Tommy, pulling his attention away from you and to his brother beside him "We didn't mean-"

"I know." Joel stopped Tommy in his tracks, giving him a reassuring look as the necks of their beers clinked together "I'm just not sure I'm ready for anything new right now."

"You know where we are when you are." Alec piped up "We're here for you."

"Always." You said, giving Joel a nod before looking up at Alec adoringly.

Joel said nothing more. He watched as you and Alec shared what could only be described as a loving kiss and Joel could do nothing but watch. Muttering what he was about to say under his breath as he sipped his beer.

"I lost my chance with her." His eyes didn't leave you as you giggled at Alec cheekily grabbing your ass as you started to carry the burgers over to the table "I blew my chance at loving her."

Next

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

[xoxo-sarah]

I Wanna Be Yours || Part 1

Series Masterlist | Part 2

↝a/n: my first Robin Series. Set in season 4.

↝pairing: Robin Buckley x fem!Wheeler!reader

↝ Warning:slightly proof read. Possible spoilers if you still haven't watched season 4, everything that happens in stranger things, slow burn, Vicky doesn't exist here, not because I don't like her, but because it's easier to write for Robin when she's not madly in love with another chick.

↝⎙ 6.24.23

Nancy jiggled her keys, annoyed with the mop headed boy. “Mike! Let's go.” She turned, looking at you with an irked expression. “This kid.” She opened the door, walking past you as you put your backpack on.

Mike rolled his eyes, hunching over the toaster, impatiently waiting for the pop tart to pop any second. “Jesus. How am I gonna survive a whole week without you guys?” You grinned as he walked past, handing you one of the warm pop tarts. “Besides you. You're cool.” He whispered before practically jogging to the car, where Nancy sat with her head thrown back in annoyance. You bid your parents goodbye before following him to the car, deciding you didn't have time to argue over who was getting in the front.

“So, Cali, huh?” Nancy glanced at you from the rearview mirror, a small grin making its way onto her lips. You two have tormented him for weeks over him going all the way to California for spring break. You did it more than Nancy though, only because you loved his grossed-out reaction when you'd turn around, acting as if you were making out with someone, hinting at the two.

“Yeah.” Mike grumbled, looking out the window from the passenger seat.

You nodded, not mentioning it for the rest of the car. At least, until you got to school.

“And then there's Heidi tomorrow night, but the problem with Heidi is that she's going out of state for college. So, it's like, do I really wanna start another relationship that has no point other than sex?” Steve continued to rant to deaf ears. “I mean, I don't know. Does that make sense to you?” He rubbed his forehead, glancing to his side, where Robin was putting on mascara, solemnly paying attention to the mirror and not to the man who was ranting for the whole car ride. “Robin, are you listening?”

“Uh, yes. I-I'm lis-”

“What did I just say?” Steve threw his hand up, shaking his head, unimpressed.

“Something about sex with…Linda.”

“No! I'm talking about Heidi.”

“Cut me some slack, please!”

Steve bit his cheek before rubbing his forehead again. “Well-”

Robin began to rant, “Your love life is one of labyrinthine complexity. And it is 7:00 in the morning, we have this stupid pep rally and I woke up looking like a total corpse.” She stretched her hands on the sides of her face, surely not looking flattering at all.

“Oh, you're worried about a pep rally? You expect me to believe that?” He glanced over again, his expression showing he absolutely did not believe that, not one bit.

“Yeah? So?”

“So, we both know what this is about. Okay, I'm not buying that bullshit. This is about Y/n.” He had met you a few times, when he was with Nancy and when you guys had to fight some ugly parasite looking monster. You were quick to catch Robin's eye in school, which, in turn, made her turn to Steve and tell him all about this girl. There were a few characteristics that led him to know she fancied you before she even told him your name.

“Absolutely not.” Robin couldn't help the blush that painted her cheeks, moving to do anything with her hands. She began applying lip balm, staring back into the little mirror in the visor.

“Yes it is. You know what else I think?”

“I really don't care-” Steve could go on and on. If you were to ask Robin what he said, she'd surely say blah blah blah with a roll of her eyes.

“I think you gotta stop pretending to be someone else when you're around her. You just gotta be yourself.” He had his hand out, motioning around absentmindedly.

“You're literally quoting me to me. You do realize that, right?”

“Well, maybe you need to listen to yourself. Ever think about that, smarty-pants?” Robin stared at him with a look that could kill. Was she this annoying when she scolded him, telling to get his shit together? "I listened to you and look at me. Boom. Back in business.”

“It's not the same thing, okay?”

“Well…"

Robin made a sound of disagreement at that, not letting him finish that thought. “You ask a girl out and she says no, big deal. Nothing happens. Maybe your ego is a little bruised.” Robin looked at him with false pity, before moving her hands around again. “But I ask out the wrong girl, and BAM! I'm a town pariah.”

Shaking his head, Steve understood where she was coming from, but disagreeing with how she was going about it. “Yeah, okay, I'd buy that, except Y/n is definitely not the wrong girl.”

“We just don't know that do we?”

"She returned Fast Times at 53 minutes, 5 seconds. Do you know who paused Fast times at 53 minutes, 5 seconds?”

“...”

“People who like boobies, Robin!”

“Ew! Gross! Don't say boobies!”

“Boobies. It's not a big deal, okay. I like boobies. You like boobies. Y/n likes boobies. Definitely.”

Climbing over the seat after Nancy parked, you patted Mike as he held the car door open. “Use protection at least.” Before he could reply or grumble, you were jogging towards the gym, finding some of your friends in the process.

“Got any plans for spring break?” Chrissy asked, trying to keep in stride with you.

“Not really.” You hadn't made plans, but you'd probably end up staying at one of your friend's house. After walking in, you turned towards her, grinning to ease her nerves. “Have fun. You'll do amazing.” She smiled back, giving you a quick hug before running off.

Turning back to the bleachers, you tried to look for an empty seat, which was becoming harder with the people trampling into the double doors.

Hearing your name being yelled, you looked around, stopping when you saw Steve. He motioned you over, making sure no one sat down beside him.

With the glare he could feel on the side of his head, he'd definitely be getting an earful from Robin.

He held his hand out, helping you step up the stairs with all the people walking around you to take a seat. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He turned to face Robin, mouthing '53 minutes, 5 seconds'. She rolled her eyes before looking forward.

When everything started, he cheered with you as you not only cheered on your school, but your friends and all the work they put into the moves.

“And of course, I have to give a special shout-out.” Steve glanced over at you when he heard you scoff at Jason Carver.

“What? You don't like Jason?” His words were playful, already knowing you despised him for some reason, hearing it from Robin.

“I don't know. He loves Chrissy and shows it, but he's just a dick to everyone else.”

Jason continued to speak, “Chrissy…" He stared at her as they were the only two in the room. “Chrissy, I love you, babe.”

You made a gagging sound, only loud enough for Steve to hear it.

Jason went on to make another speech. “You know…I think I can speak for all of us when I say it's been a tough year for Hawkins. So much loss. And sometimes I wonder 'how much loss can one community take?' In dark days like this, we need something to believe in. So, last night, when we were down by ten points at half to Christian Academy I looked at my team and I said, think of Jack, think of Melissa, think of Heather, think of Billy.”

Both you and Steve looked down, searching for the red head you had seen climbing the bleachers to sit with your brother and Dustin. You both looked back at each other, taking pity on the poor girl.

Sure, you never got along with Billy. But you would've never wished that kind of death upon anybody, including him. Especially with the way it affected Max. You could tell she felt guilty. It wasn't fair for her; she was just a kid- a good kid at that.

"— Think of our heroic police chief, Jim Hopper. "

“You alright?” Chrissy almost walked past you in the hall, looking a little uneasy.

“Yeah, people died so they could win a basketball game. That's the reason.” You rolled your eyes, grumbling as you glared at the man screaming into the mic. “For a stupid trophy.” Sure, you will still congratulate Lucas if they do, indeed, win the trophy. But to say many people died for that was just ridiculous. Honoring the people who have fallen is different, but that's not what he's doing. Maybe Lucas would play in honor of them, but not Jason.

She blinked a couple of times before trying to smile. “Yeah-yeah. Of course. Just had to go to the counselor. I'm alright.” You slowly nodded, before wrapping an arm around one of hers and walking towards class. She had been acting weird lately. So you made sure to stay close to her, making sure she didn't do anything. “Would you like to do something for spring break?” You brought back the question she asked earlier.

“Like what?”

“I don't know. We could hang at your house-”

“No!” You looked at her, confused by her outburst. “Why would we do that when we have your house?”

“I mean, Mike's not going to be there, so sure.” You gently smiled at her, squeezing her arm affectionately when she stopped by the bathrooms. “I'll talk to you about it later, yeah?” She nodded before pushing the door open.

You began walking towards class, trying to wrap your brain around what was going on with her. She obviously wasn't okay.

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]

[light-miracles]

Please share some fav frelma moments or headcanons? The fandom is so quiet ahaha

Sure!

Canon from the books trilogy (spoilers duh) (shot out to my friend Clei for getting me the books)

1) When Daphne makes Velma accidentally admit she has a crush on Fred and her reaction is just 'Damn Velma I didn't know you were so traditional'

2) When they dance together in Shaggy's house in the second book

3) Fred shamelessly flirting by touching her hair at school and Velms' almost heart attack.

4) Really, Velma's pining in the books is delicious.

5) The almost kiss in the third book.

6) When Fred almost dies in that fire and Velma just starts to cry out of pure relief when she sees him alive

7) Fred telling the journalists next thing he's doing is asking 'the girl he likes' out when he leaves hospital.

8) Their last scene together at the end. Which lives rent free on my head. I even wrote a little continuation/expansion of that scene in a drabble.

(Overall, the books aren't perfect. The focus is Daphne and Velma's friendship and that means too little focus on Shaggy and Freddie. But it was absolutely worth it. It was like the best Frelma fanfic but actually canon in its verse. Clinging to those books forever)

Honorific mentions of other versions: the "DORKY CHICKS LIKE YOU TURN ME ON TOO" line in the live action (lmfao) (Linda Cardellini and Freddie Prinze's chemistry was awesome), Fred going all the way to show her he appreciates everything she does in Be Cool Scooby Doo, and their scenes together in The Mystery Begins. Also every moment they share the screen in 'Mystery Incorporated: Welcome to Coolsville'. That version of the characters was the best one in recent years.

..

Headcanons now:

1) Has anyone watched that animated short horror video parodying the totally awful Velma show? The one with eldritch monster Scooby? Yeah they're together the next time Scooby reboots reality. Both of them are aware of what's going on and try to scape the time loop (confusing if you don't know the story of the video 'Velma Meets The Original Velma' on YouTube, plz watch it)

2) Moving on to greener grasses, eventually they have twin boys, Ricky and Roger (named after Fred and Shaggy). Obviously Daphne and Shaggy are the godparents.

3) Shaggy let's them adopt 3 puppies from the Doo family years in the future.

4) Scrappy lived with them for some time. Velma was the only one who could boss him around. Fred spoiled him.

5) Velma sends him food to his work out of nowhere because sometimes she's sure he's forgotten to eat. He does the same plus flowers. Both of them are right: they forget to have dinner. Shaggy never shuts up about it.

6) (I usually go with Archeologist!Fred and Astronomer!Velms. They travel a lot) (The kids are homeschooled until they can leave for a boarding school)

7) Ricky and Roger are mama boys

8) Fred does the taxes. Velms always forgets.

9) Shaggy is a chef (duh) and Daphne a private detective and they're never too far away. Their kid is a little older than the twins but they hang out a lot. Sometimes Velma refers to Daphne as 'her sister' so the boys don't figure out Daphne isn't their 'actual aunt' until they're older.

10) Velma has a photo of him on her wallet. Fred is the little spoon.

[empresskadia]

Okie, so here is my Fred-104 thought.

If this man is comfortable with you or feels any sort of spark, he is phenomenal at comforting you [don't get me wrong, he can still be awkward as heck but he'll be the first to react]. This is the scenario in my head,

You've worked with Blue team a handful of times, dare I say y'all are friends, dare I say, something more, take that as you will. One day you happen to receive bad news, something awful, a friend dies, some loved one has passed away, etc.

The Spartans have never seen you cry, so imagine their surprise when they see you kneeling on the floor, head in your hands and Fred asks are you okay and you look at him and just start sobbing. Full tears steaming down your face.

They don't know wtf to do. They're awkward, they don't handle crying people. Their first split-second reaction is to peace the hell out and find someone who can handle this. Que hand signals between them.

Kelly thinks someone's hurt you and is ready to take someone's head.

Linda is scanning you for any injuries, trying to figure out how the hell to approach this situation.

John is thinking about an appropriate response, are you going into shock? Does he talk to you?

But it's Fred, who steps up and kneels down next to you, hand hovering above your shoulder waiting to see if you want him to leave then ultimately placing his hand on your back, rubbing circles while you're hysterically crying. He's the one who pulls you into a hug because he knows it's supposed to help comfort and continues the gentle circles until you've calmed down enough to talk.

Anyways that's kinda of my thought, thanks for joining me.

[esmealux]

esmealux's masterlist

last updated: 17.08.2024

Multi-chapter works

Feels Like Home

AU in which Chloe and Lucifer are roommates [extended work]. Written in collaboration with @my-crazy-awesome-sox 42 / ? chapters posted Rated E

Living with the Devil (isn't always Hell on Earth)

AU in which Chloe and Lucifer are roommates [original work]. Or, 5 times Chloe seriously considers moving out, and 1 time she doesn’t. Written in collaboration with @my-crazy-awesome-sox 6/6 chapters posted Rated M

Planning a Hell of a Wedding

The Devil and the Detective make their way through the wedding planning checklist. One is more passionate about it than the other. Set a year after season 5 (written before 5B was released) Rated M

One-shots

When All Else Fails

Lucifer and John's relationship throughout the years. Set in the universe of take me back to the start by usuallysunny; a belated birthday gift Rated T

Mummy's Workplace: The Guided Tour

Lucifer shows baby Rory around the precinct. Rated T

Going through Hell

Amenadiel has a message for Lucifer and pays him a visit in Hell. Set post season 6. Rated T

The Original Starry Night

When God comes to Earth, Lucifer needs to get away. Chloe finds him in the moonlit desert. Set after 5A Rated M

Definitely Don't Like You

Chloe and Lucifer go on a date and visits the precinct after dark. There's something they never got to try. Set post season 5B Rated M

Something Close to Sex? Yet Entirely Different

‘Lucifer, you’re hurting.�� Her eyes, full of worry, flicker over his wounded, broken body. And yes, it hurts. Like hell, as a matter of fact. But what hurts more is the thought of being alone. Rated T.

Certainly Our Best Collab

‘I just want to let you know that I love you.’ Rated G.

Rejected at the Pearly Gates

He stays by her side, holding her still hand, waiting. Hoping. And—when the sun has set, risen, and set again without the slightest movement from her—praying. Rated T.

The Devil Doesn't Do Children

Last time Linda saw Lucifer in a state similarly chaotic, dark, leathery wings were sticking out of his back. Before she can ask him what’s wrong, his trembling voice fills her office.

‘The Detective’s pregnant.’

Not what she’d expected, but his reaction seems about right. Rated M. Posted in 3 chapters, but it's only 10K words and was written as a one-shot.

How Chloe Decker Ruined the First and Greatest Slut of the Universe

Lucifer had never seen the point of monogamy. But then he’d met her. Rated M.

Bloody Hell

���Yes, thank you, Detective, I am familiar with the concept of menstruation.' Rated T.

Granniest Panties (sequel to 'Bloody Hell')

Lucifer proves his worth as Chloe's very own PA. Period Assistant. Rated T.

Ship: Sailing

Ella finds out her OTP is finally happening. Or, Lucifer bragging about finally having sex with Chloe, Ella fangirling over it, and Chloe being so done with them. Rated T.

Two Firsts in One Night

‘I guess that’s two firsts in one day… Well, night,’ he smirks at her, surprised when she mirrors his suggestive smile instead of rolling her eyes at his last remark. But then again, she did seem to enjoy the night in question.

Tit or Tat

Chloe and Lucifer make a bet. Rated T

Drabbles

Aurora

How and when Chloe came up with Rory's name A gift for @my-crazy-awesome-sox Rated T

Being a Dad

Lucifer has always worn suits. But then, he became a dad. Rated G

An Unspoken Promise

Her shirt is still soaked with her blood. Lilith’s ring, now white, still rests on her left ring finger, an unspoken promise. A last goodbye. His ultimate sacrifice. A sob builds in his chest at the sight, the aftershock suddenly threatening to wash over him and rip him apart. But he pushes it down. Wraps his arms tighter around Chloe, pulls her closer, breathes deeper. Set after the last episode of season 5B Rated T

You and Me, from A to Z

A Deckerstar drabble for every letter of the alphabet. 4 / 26 chapters posted Not rated

Happy Anniversary, Detective

Chloe and Lucifer celebrate their second anniversary together. Set in season 3. Rated G

[thommi-tomate]

Sign language for FC Bayern Frauen

As with the men's team, the Red Deaf fan club has developed the names in sign language for the women team, the posters will be used at FC Bayern Frauen matches at the Allianz Arena, such as Saturday's game against Frankfurt.

Magull: "Breaking down barriers".

"I think it's great that FC Bayern fans have developed the posters for us players. A club like FC Bayern is a home for all people, and this project is a wonderful example of how people get to know each other, get closer, discover and cultivate common ground. Inclusion is always about breaking down barriers that should not exist. We are glad that, as FC Bayern, we can contribute to this." - Lina Magull

Gwinn: "Signs for everyone".

"The supporters of the 'Red Deaf FC Bayern Fanclub' have developed some very cool, beautiful and interesting signs for us; I would like hearing people to learn them too, because sport connects all people. When it comes to inclusion, it's crucial that we all find ways to do it together. No one has to feel excluded, neither on the playing field nor in our society." - Giulia Gwinn

Harder: "Encourage each other".

"In a team we always have to help each other. Things don't always go well and in one direction. So we have to support each other to be brave, even if we don't feel like it at the time. And what is true for us as a team is true for society as a whole. We have to encourage each other to be open, to step out of our comfort zone and take the first step towards others, even if we are not sure. I'm sure people will be surprised at how positive the reactions will be, and in the end we will all grow as a society." - Pernille Harder

Hansen: "Be open, take your time."

"Inclusion is important to me because absolutely everyone should belong in our society, whether it's in sports or wherever. It's important that we, as players, set a good example, serve as role models and make people think. Personally, I am grateful to be in a position where I can promote these issues. Everyone can contribute, and it often starts with being open, spending time with the other person and simply listening to what they have to say." - Tuva Hansen

Belloumou: "A school subject like other languages".

"We should all learn at least basic sign language at school. Just like we learn French, English or German. It would be a great sign for everyone, and society would become aware of what's outside the box. It is useful, and at least a first step, for athletes to become aware of the issue, as we do through our names in sign language. Personally, I am happy to be able to raise awareness of inclusion through our project." - Inès Belloumou

Meaning of each sign in the names

GK:

Mala Grohs: always plays before the game with the Rubik's Cube

Anna Wellmann: waves

DEF:

Ines Belloumou: "beautiful" (Bello is beautiful in italian) in Italian, in Italian sign language.

Glodis Viggosdottir: playing defense

Magdalena Eriksson: hairstyle

Tuva Hansen: strong charisma

Giulia Gwinn: braid

Maximiliane Rall: midfield engine in biceps combination

Tainara: from Brazil

Katharina Naschenweng: "Snacking" (Naschen in german is snacking) in Austrian sign language

Carolin Simon: Harry Potter

MDF:

Linda Dallmann: small and fast

Sydney Lohmann: very good understanding of the game in combination with number 12 and strong charisma

Alara Sehitler: goal celebration

Lina Magull: always wears a bow tie

Jill Baijings: red cheeks

Sarah Zadrazil: "strong in duels" in Austrian sign language

Samantha Kerr: eyebrow

Georgia Stanway: tattoo on arm; stan "way"

FW:

Jovana Damnjanovic: Hair shape

Lea Schüller: Strong header

Klara Bühl: striking smile

Franziska Kett: Chain (chain in German is Kette)

Pernille Harder: "Hard" in sign language combined with goal scoring

[zilabee]

- Everyone having a little dance in India. Awful of them. Made me sad. Everything made me sad. Today is very sad.

- John's little 'spiritually demure' face, when Paul calls him out on not having been himself. <333333

It's like we totally, sort of, put our own personalities under, for the sake of it.

- I completely love that Linda's reaction to the footage was 'didn't you feel like going out in it', meaning getting away from the fake India of spiritual enlightenment and just experiencing something possibly actually meaningful. Getting away from their forced 'retreat' of a locked compound, and actually just retreating somewhere real, and finding nature by being in it, not by being apart from it. She's perfect for Paul. (George's confused frown.)

- Probably the best bit of get back all around is the why don't we do it in the road monkey shag interlude. When I cut Get Back down to just the bearable bits that will be all that survives this day.

George: That is the biggest joke, to be yourselves. Cause that was the purpose of going there, to try and find who yourself really is. John: Yes, well we found out, didn't we? George: And if you were really yourself, you wouldn't be any of who we are now. Paul: Mm.

- I love John's interjection here, that George ignores, even though it's a good point. And I love Paul's face when George chooses to turn his honesty into a small ~meaningful point. Pft.

- Ringo's tea is too milky even for me, and I am judging him.

- Let's prove that this song you wrote about us, definitely doesn't mean anything by singing it in every funny accent we enjoy!

- I can't believe the lack of decision making which means that this project is just now 'make an album, but badly'.

Personally I was a phenomenon

- George saying that the studio is producing a good sound, and George Martin having a little point about how Glyn is having something to do with that. <3 I love him.

- Is the Primrose Hill concert no longer possible because they asked for permission like idiots? Idiots.

- My stomach is just very sad whenever MLH starts talking.

- I don't even care any more that the big conversation is cut up and the reaction shots meaningless; the truth is probably dreadful.

- Paul's awareness in emotional collapse that there's not really anything wrong except that everything's wrong, so there's nothing anyone can do.

- The whole thing's so much, even when they're kind to each other.

- J: "No-one else wants to go on a stage, or do a tv show." He's talking about George, you know. They're so frightened to actually argue with George in case they open all his wounds, so they argue with each other about whether they should argue with George.

- It drives me mad, how quiet Ringo is, refusing to take part at all.

- I like Paul saying that to him it feels like they've got all the bad bit of being on the road now, because they're just in a room all the time, and he wants to do things not in a room. And John saying he does too, but he's accepted that the Beatles can't do that, so he's doing it with other people. Paul's really blocked on that because other people aren't as good as Beatles. Or not just that, but why be the Beatles at all if it's just the boring bit. I think that's what he's boiling down to, while the others are trying to find ways to still call something Beatles but without actually being Beatles. I don't know, I haven't thought anything through, I'm too sad.

I just want to go and have fun with it, rather than sort of, finish off exactly as we started.

- John tries to (kindly) say that it's just that it's stopped being the thing Paul wanted (because he compromised) and now it's more 'our' thing. And I don't understand what thing he thinks it is! It's not currently anyone's thing! Nobody has any idea what it is now, and that's what Paul's finding it hard to adjust to, the nothingness of it. They're literally just making an album in a hurry for no reason, and refusing to record it properly. Paul wanted to do something new, and challenging, but they've dragged it back down to ordinary.

- I love Glyn being so truly positive about what they're doing, though, and saying that even though various things haven't come off, what they're doing is still special because it's Beatles in a room! And I like John really agreeing with that, and getting that. He's so positive about the energy of the Beatles, throughout the doc, and it's sad that he won't fight for it in any meaningful way.

- John playing Lost My Little Girl is too much, it's too much. I can't be expected to. The feeling of it, when John slips into their songs from the past. So many songs that only John and Paul really knew the insides of and where they came from and what they meant, and ... just how much Paul lost when John died is unbearable, and we already knew that, I know that, but Get Back makes it too sharp and I hate everything. I was doing well at rewatching this thing but now I want to stop it and never look at it again please.

- Glyn and Michael crouching down in front of Paul like he's a little boy who's scraped his knee, talking nice to him.

- Glyn says in an interview that Ringo was the one who first showed him the roof. I assume Ringo's been hanging around up there, contemplating mortality while his band disintegrates downstairs. I like that he's found a solution that involves the absolute least travel humanly possible.

- Paul levering himself up on the roof, because he's a weird little creature of the world. So much happier when he's outside and free. MLH should have mandated twenty minutes of fresh air every day. Paul and Ringo having a little roof dance! <33 MLH trying to persuade Paul that they might have to ask for a tiny bit of permission. Hmf.

- Yes right, you were right about another verse. - Oh, he's right, you know. - He is right.

- Both John and George wanting Paul to do Let It Be the way it was, and Paul's little confusion because he has no idea what that was. <3

- It is lovely when sometimes George actually forces Paul to work out what his songs are doing, and helps him sort them into shape. He does it with Let It Be, and he did it with Get Back too. They're so good at working together in the few moments that they actually work together. (you see it most in George's songs when John is barely there.)

Come on now, back to the drudgery thank you.

Think what Vera Lynn would do to it, Paul.

He's the most together man in Garston!

Goddamn you little microphone.

"When I find myself... all moody."

You stuck another verse in there, Richard.

Now look boys, now come on, enthuse a little.

I'll have you banned from bloody Apple if you don't shut up!

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e5 episode reaction:

well I really hope the cliffhanger isn't horrifying bc this week is gonna be really fucking long

let's fuckin do this

"tired" and it's just him contending w the fact that erik might have been violently homophobic

i can excuse [rolls down a 6ft long papyrus] but I draw the line at being racist - august, probably

"family" LMFAO sure dumbass

seriously those girls are acting like sara and felice broke up (and I get it, friendship breakups are horrifying but damn)

"are you on something?" MY LITERAL FIRST QUESTION SKFISJFKSJFKDJF

I feel like micke is gonna die. idk.

his own letter? why?

oh. hello ludwig. i forgot what your voice sounded like.

"it's hard for her to show weakness" yeah well so it is for all of us. be a mother. show up for your son.

naaaaaaaaaaa volvete serio ludwig

wdym he was perfect. are you serious. do no adults in this show have the slightest bit of common sense?? you're talking to erik's spare my man. erik's little brother who now has to take on everything erik had to do. be the most fuckin for real rn

of fucking COURSE

"it'll be nice to celebrate you. and to meet simon too" ok that was sweet.

yeah wille being in the choir was starting to feel too weird skfjdkfjd

okay? calm your tits my man? simon hasn't said anything?

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON????? HE'S LITERALLY DEFENDING ERIK?????????

oooooookay kristina jr.

ohhhh it was sara's locker. ok.

oh micke is dead isn't he

FELICE DOING WILLE'S NAILS AAAAAA

HE'S PAINTING THEM PURPLE SOULMATISM

also is this the writers acknowledging the nonbinary wille headcanons bc.......

I can't believe wille likes doing his nails. that's so fuckin nonbinary of him.

god I wish micke had been dead. that is SO much worse.

pls don't get into a car crash sara

linda honey no. it doesn't fit him perfectly it's goddamn huge on him.

love shouldn't be this hard I agree linda

oh fuck me

oh her little face sara no

oh sara is breaking my goddamn heart

WILLE'S PURPLE NAILS

wilhelm, why do you have nail polish remover in your room

MI WILLE I'M GONNA FUCKING BLOW MY BRAINS OUT

omg malin was willing to be bribed. back to fanon malin we go (after the shit show that was season 2)

WHY IS HE WEARING THE PYJAMA PANTS AGAIN SIMON

okay this is killing me inside. this is too much.

BECAUSE THERE'S A RISK OF POISONING SJFKDJFKJFDKFJDKFKFKFKDLRK

simon's FACE im

SHE CURTSIED @ SIMON

I know he must have felt disgusting sjfkdjfk

after pretty much 3 years of a polar opposite fanon interpretation I cannot *believe* I'm witnessing kristina and ludwig being genuinely happy about meeting simon. this is so insane

august are you staring at sara's boobs

oh a rolex

OH IS IT BECAUSE OF ERIK

IT IS BECAUSE OF ERIK OG FUCKKKKK

I missed sara and felice I'm ngl. I love my tiny baby girls

oh kristina is about to throw up isn't she lmfao

ludwig is being weirdly nice. this is so strange.

ludwig and simon chatting away while kristina is about to choke and die

hold on. IS kristina gonna die?

even during wille's birthday they can't stop yapping about erik. my god do royals genuinely only care about their firstborn? god

NOT DILF HUNTER SJROSUFOSIDOD

class bad boy slfjdlgj I think they had to have done that on purpose. I mean vincent didn't wanna give him the satisfaction of giving him another award. I can assure you.

august is such a *sad* character oh my god

I WISH I HAD DONE THINGS DIFFERENTLY WITH YOU NAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW

oh of course she kissed him.

WHAT A SNITCH WTF

im

"please don't leave me alone with your parents like that again" honestly wille they could've eaten him alive

my god wilhelm you're being SO NASTY

OH HE'S GOING OFFF

oh ldkgldjgldjfldjffl

I can ASSURE YOU during my s2 liveblogging at one point I basically wrote "[points at ludwig] AND YOU" bc i was so fucking done with his bullshit skrjdlrkdlrkld

to hear wille going AND *YOU* is fucking sending me help

IT ISN'T EASY TO BE BOTH YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR BOSS OH FUCK OFF KRISTINA

I NOTICED BECAUSE YOU'RE SO USELESS AT BOTH HOLY FUCKING SWEET JESUS CHRIST

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD

me rn:

my god this is the most cathartic shit I've seen in my life

OH AND SIMON IS WATCHING THE WHOLE THING

god

I knew the cliffhanger was gonna be that

but I didn't expect them to cry like that nor did I expect ME to cry like that

bro I'm sobbing I can't wait another week

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

With Now and Then bringing out mixed reactions it’s had me thinking about how Paul’s handled John’s death and their Beatles legacy. He seems to be admired for the most part for the fondness and sentimentality he’s gone with while also being criticized as exploiting that sentimentality. It’s made me wonder how John might’ve carried on had Paul died. I understand it’s a bleak hypothetical and perhaps even offensive to some since I haven’t really seen discussions about it here but I really am curious. Would John have also promoted the Beatles legacy? I know he publicly shunned it as a thing of his past but I think there’s also been accounts of John privately collecting bootlegs and memorabilia. Would he have felt comfortable working on a song Paul left unfinished but given to him by Linda much in the same way Yoko did with Now and Then to Paul? I think John would’ve retreated once again into reclusiveness (a shame since he seemed very optimistic about the 80’s) but after a while I think he wouldn’t be able to help but take up the Beatles mantle just not sure how he would’ve gone about it.

My biggest LMAO about this is I one day want to write a fic about exactly this…

Without going into my specific planned plot (which mainly takes place in the 80s anyways), I think what should be kept in mind re:Paul's presentation of his and John's relationship, is that for the first ten years after John's death, Paul had a very different strategy. He only really started playing up the nostalgia of the Beatles in the 90s, with his concert tours and Anthology and, in my opinion, it was very much a reaction to him dealing with having been discarded as a musical has-been during the second half of the 80s and him deciding to grab the reins of the narrative surrounding him and John, which had been damaged by Jean Jacket "He didn't care about McCartney!"-types and by Goldman-type authors who over-villainized John, both to the point of rendering John's image unrecognizable to Paul. Plus, I think his continued insistence on emphasizing John's softer side is partially a reaction to the strong push-back against John that's picked up a lot in the past decade.

My point here being, how John would have dealt with all of this to me also depends on the public narrative that would have formed. In a way it's hard to imagine John getting sentimental and publicly grieving the way Paul does – on the other hand, this would have been equally hard to imagine (perhaps even harder to imagine) with 1980 Paul, who at the time was not in the habit of getting emotional during interviews at all! What I'm less sure of is how much it would matter to John what other people thought he thought about the Beatles – because I don't think his public indifference to his past would have been received well, in a scenario where Paul had recently been killed. Whether John would feel comfortable completing a Paul song is interesting; in a way, I'd imagine he'd be less keen on it, just based on his personality, but he was very proud of the Paul songs he helped finish off (like Michelle and We Can Work It Out) so that might embolden him to try. It would also probably depend which songs he had at his disposal, because I'd say he was pickier about music than Paul is.

I also think a very relevant factor in how Paul has behaved with respect to John's legacy was due to how Yoko behaved – so, in turn, I think a lot of this would depend on Linda. (which is a big point of the fic I'm planning lol – stay tuned for my extra long take on this dropping at..... some point.)

[anendtopursuit]

here's some questions spam!

what do you think is the best joke in tgwdlm? which nightmare time episode is the strongest? would you vibe with any of the lords in black? opinion on webby? favorite character introduced in black friday? some people have said that the youtube version of nerdy prudes must die gets fanservice-y with its hatchetverse references - what're your thoughts? which hatchetverse couple is the most transgender in your eyes?

here ends the question spam

YEAAAA QUESTION SPAM I LOVE QUESTION SPAM!!! my laptop is currently updating and therefore i feel no shame doing this instead of my dissertation LET'S GOOO

best joke in tgwdlm? - augh, a hard one. idk if it's the BEST but i always lose it at the hivemind breaking out of unison and having to stop and find their notes/re-harmonise after not your seed (i've been there... SO many times)

strongest nightmare time episode - ok this is the part where i admit i am VERY behind on nightmare time and have only seen a few in random orders - my favourite of the ones i've seen is abstinence camp, though. i think it's a rlly strong, relatively self-contained story, and ofc i'm always down for a friday the 13th parody lmao. boy jerry and girl jeri are my little freaks and i love them (and ofc peter and steph my beloveds)

vibing with the lords in black? - i love all of them an unreasonable amount and would LOVE to hang out, honestly. i never stop singing so pokey would probably be fun company, and wiggly won my heart immediately since i LOVE possessed/evil toys (if the url wasn't a dead giveaway for that) and green is one of my fav colours. but honestly any of them!!! they're deliciously evil and i would love to chill (and then regret it when i inevitably face their torment BUT THAT'S A PROBLEM FOR FUTURE ME!)

opinion on webby - i haven't seen a ton of her but i think she's really cool, both conceptually and in the execution i have seen! i love how the visions she gives hannah are contextualised and start making sense slowly as you work through the show (which it took me AGES to figure out, admittedly, because i'm either eerily good or absolutely terrible at recalling dialogue, and fsr her prophecies always fell through my brain like a sieve)

favourite character introduced in black friday - i'm disqualifying wiggly bc we've established i love him already - honestly, it's a tie between linda monroe (one word: MOTHER) and ethan green (aka the sweetest motherfucker in hatchetfield, holy shit). i find both of their characters super compelling and also i'm very bisexual about both of them so !!!

were the npmd hatchetverse references fanservicey? - i mean... yeah? i don't super mind though, fanservice isn't inherently a bad thing. i do wish there was some way to watch a pro shot of the show as it was on stage instead (i Lost My Mind when i found out the gerald part was originally my favourite little freak boy jerry), but i've heard through the grapevine that there's apparently a way to get your hands on a digital ticket recording as a bonus feature or smthn similar, which is good enough for me. so whilst i do think they came on a little strong in some sections (particularly hatchet town), overall i didn't mind - the smaller call-backs don't really harm the show at all if you don't get them (e.g. richie's joke abt peter looking like the homeless guy downtown is still a funny jab without the knowledge of who exactly that homeless guy is and how he's related to peter) and for fans who have been waiting for years, it's an extra little reward. i've seen some people be incentivised to watch the previous shows so they'd understand the audience's reaction to certain lines, too, so there's that. tl;dr it is a LITTLE much sometimes but i don't personally mind it and thought they were all fun

most transgender hatchetfield couple - oh you are SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE, i LOVE transgenderifying characters. i think lautski (peter/steph) feel very explicitly-queer gen z t4t, if that makes any sense, but i wouldn't be me if i didn't at least mention my quietly-queer first loves paulkins (paul/emma). they're like the chill trans elders (as in the community title, not in reference to their age lmao they're like 30) to lautski's spitfire trans youth. if that makes literally ANY sense

my laptop has great timing and has now finished updating (!!!) so i must return to the trenches of university coursework but this was VERY fun thank u

[potterandpromises]

sorry for not winning you an arcade ring: chapter 9

Things do not go as rehearsed. [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8]

Also on AO3

(You know the deal by now: it's the same day as the last chapter but it's been several hours. We return to our heroes in the hallway outside of the restrooms of whatever venue this rehearsal is taking place in.)

"I'm just a tiny" —with a tense hand, Will signs 'tiny'— "bit worried about this wedding."

Theo nods in commiseration. The rehearsal's mostly been about who stands where when, and for him, establishing and memorizing visual cues. But it's also included things like designating a person (Lester) to call 911 in case of stabbings, shootings, poisonings, et cetera. Such things do not inspire confidence in the fake wedding investigative complex.

(If asked again, he'd agree in a heartbeat.)

Behind Will, Sazz Pataki saunters into the hallway, says something, and pauses next to the restrooms. "I'll tell you what— I've been the only thing standing between Charles and— injury. But— pressure, even for me—"

Theo rests his eyes, lets them wander down to Sazz' shoes.

His gaze snaps back to her lips. He feels, by reflex, a smile fix itself to his face.

She takes no notice.

Moments pass like eons. Eventually, her and Will quit their small talk, and she goes into the restroom.

Theo turns away, has to force himself not to break into a run.

-

"I'll be honest," Charles says into his phone, "I was kind of hoping it wouldn't get this far and that by this point, we'd already know who the killer is."

"Well we didn't get that lucky, did we Charles?" Oliver stands up and hastens to the front of the room.

He ushers Charles to sit down, and turns to address the table as if from a stage. "Even though I do run in the same circles as Linda Sharpton and Christopher W. H. Garnier, I simply haven't been able to spend the necessary time with all of our many, many suspects in order to deduce who our killer is."

Lucy yawns from behind her hands.

"At the rehearsal dinner for my son Will’s wedding, he let anyone and everyone take the proverbial microphone and make an impromptu speech. In the spirit of that gesture, anybody wanna come up here and take a stab at figuring out who the killer is? ‘Cause now’s the time where we’re supposed to fully explain our epic deduction skills live in front of the entire world."

Lucy lightly kicks Mabel under the table, whisper quotes: 'stab' with an exaggerated flare of her eyebrows.

But actually, at this point, it's as good an idea as any.

Howard stands up from his chair, resolute. "I have a theory."

He walks to the front of the room and proceeds to spout a theory so obviously based on a personal grudge that it provokes absolutely no reaction from anyone else in the room. He nods like he's made a point anyway, and steps away into the darkness.

(And they'd hoped this killer reveal party would look a little more professional then the last one.)

What if it doesn't work? Somehow, Mabel had never considered the idea. If they don't succeed tomorrow, her and Theo will be...not legally married, she's pretty sure they'd need to write their names on a certificate or something for that to be the case. But they wouldn't tell people it was all a hoex immediately, right? They'd need to solve the case first.

Or they'd just... never tell anyone, and fake a break up the way they're faking the relationship. That option should feel safer, more comfortable, but it doesn't.

Mabel sips her sparkling grape juice. This whole thing is starting to feel like objectively too much to ask.

Behind her, the door opens. She turns, sees Theo with a tense set frown. He walks briskly towards her, and trips.

He falls flat on his stomach.

Mabel stands. Simultaneously, Theo pulls himself onto his hands and knees, stares at their co-conspirators like a dear in headlights.

She helps him up. "You okay?"

He doesn't answer, doesn't let go of her hand, just looks past her at Sazz reentering the room.

She frowns, thinks 'concussion.' But, she's fairly certain he didn't hit his head.

He drops her hand, takes a step back, and scans the room, takes in the many pairs of eyes on him.

Jonathan clears his throat, resumes his conversation with Howard. "So, anyway..."

Theo puts on one of his fake, slightly awkward smiles, and looks down at Lucy still in her seat. His own seat had been on the other side of the table.

"I think—“

“Oh, yeah.” Lucy pulls her chair out. “I’ll leave you to it. Ursula brought some sort of new Gut Milk cookie, so I’ll just try one of those.”

She really hopes Lucy doesn’t think her and Theo are going to grope each other under the table. The evidence does not support that hope— Lucy was nowhere near as awkward with Theo when they first met.

Mabel sits down. With a nod of thanks, Theo takes Lucy's seat, and, oh, places his hand on her knee. Maybe...? No, she doesn’t think he would just do that. Then again, they don’t actually know each other that well. Or at least, they haven’t spent that much time together.

He removes his hand from her knee, gives her an extremely tight lipped smile, and signs something quickly, almost under the table.

Again, he rests his hand on her, a few inches higher this time, tentative.

At the front of the room, Sazz speaks. Something about protecting Charles with her life, something about knowing him all these years and believing he would never settle down for good because, wait, Sazz stole his girlfriend? twice? Mabel will have to ask about that later.

“Although he could never manage to keep a good woman, Charles has achieved something even better: living long enough to attend the wedding of a woman who’s like a daughter to him.” That’s actually sweat, if extremely backhanded. Mabel can’t quite focus on anything other then Theo’s hand on her thigh.

His fingers move, trace a pattern like a figure eight. Repeat.

Not a figure eight.

An S.

“I wrote that last minute,” Sazz says. “Was it a little hollow? It felt a little hollow to me. I’ll tighten it up.”

Without looking at him, Mabel places her hand over his, lets him know, hopefully, that she understands his intent.

His hand stills under hers. She pulls away.

A

Mabel stares forward, steadfast.

Z

Her breath hitches. No one notices.

Z

Sazz is walking away, heading for the alcoholic cookies. Mabel glances at Theo, urgent.

He doesn't look at her. His fingers drag quicker atop her dress skirt.

D-I-D —he taps the center of her thigh once— I-T.

Blankly, she looks around at too many faces, at eyes that still linger on them.

She gives Theo the slightest nod, and begins to plot.

[lindamccartneysstrap]

okay! i explained all of these, with sources and quotes. under a cut because it's long as all fuck. to be clear i want everybody to know there's sooo much crazy shit not on the image you could probably do a follow-up iceberg with if u wanted to. op feel free to let me know i if i misunderstood anything you put or anything like that <3

tier 1 -self explanatory methinks

tier 2 -

july 6th 1957 - the day john and paul met. very significant day obviously many interesting accounts about it. if you're truly new to mclennonism start there. paul's always talking about john's "beery breath" which i love. from here today: What about the time we met? (What about the time we met?) / Well, I suppose that you could say that we were playing hard to get

david bailey photoshoot - iconic photoshoot where all those gayass black and white photos of john and paul come from. david bailey: "I told John to close his eyes because I could feel this tension between him and Paul. I did them [together] afterwards; I got them looking different ways because there was such a tension. Although I’ve never seen it like those two guys – Oasis. I was doing their first Rolling Stone cover and I did it in ten minutes because I thought they were going to kill each other."

mirror images - i assume this is metaphorical, i.e. "The thing about me and John is that we were different, but we weren't that different. I think Linda (McCartney) put her finger on it when she said me and John were like mirror images of each other. Even down to how we started writing together, facing each other, eyeball-to-eyeball, exactly like looking in the mirror," McCartney said in Britain's Mirror Wednesday. Or Paul: We wrote with two guitars, John and I. The joy of that was that I was left-handed while he was right-handed, so I was looking in a mirror and he was looking in a mirror.

but also paul took some actual mirror images of john which is kind of fun

beat the meatles - "What it was," he explains after I have prompted him, "was over at John's house, and it was just a group of us. And instead of just getting roaring drunk and partying—I don't even know if we were staying over or anything—we were all just in these chairs, and the lights were out, and somebody started masturbating, so we all did."

There would be about five of them: McCartney, Lennon, and maybe three of Lennon's friends. As they each concentrated on their mission, anyone in the group was encouraged to shout out a name that would offer relevant inspiration.

"We were just, 'Brigitte Bardot!' 'Whoo!'" McCartney says, "and then everyone would thrash a bit more."

At least until one of them—the one you would perhaps expect—opted for disruption over stimulation.

"I think it was John sort of said, 'Winston Churchill!'" McCartney remembers, and acts out the aghast, stymied reactions.

I ask whether this ritual took place often.

"There weren't really orgies, to my knowledge. There were sexual encounters of the celestial kind, and there were groupies."

"I think it was a one-off," McCartney replies. "Or maybe it was like a two-off. It wasn't a big thing. But, you know, it was just the kind of thing you didn't think much of. It was just a group. Yeah, it's quite raunchy when you think about it. There's so many things like that from when you're a kid that you look back on and you're, 'Did we do that?' But it was good harmless fun. It didn't hurt anyone. Not even Brigitte Bardot."

(the term "beat the meatles" comes from the new york post headline about the story lol)

too many people / how do you sleep -“Too Many People” is the opening song of Paul and Linda McCartney’s 1971 album “Ram“. The lyrics were interpreted as targeting John Lennon and Yoko Ono, which Paul acknowledged years later...At the time it was surely an understatement to say that there was “one tiny little reference” to John Lennon in this song. “Too Many People” opens with the words “Piss off,” which McCartney eventually admitted was a direct attack on Lennon....In response, Lennon wrote “How Do You Sleep?” for his album Imagine, an attack at McCartney featuring musical contributions from George Harrison. "paul has said that only the "too many people preaching practices" and "you took your lucky break and broke it in two" are the only references to john but well, That was your last mistake / I find my love awake and waiting to be / Now what can be done for you? / She's waiting for me, yeah. How do you sleep kinda has the line A pretty face may last a year or two, which is funny like ok so u think he's got a pretty face?

yoko reveals john's bisexuality - Yoko: “Well, that’s another thing. John and I had a big talk about it, saying, basically, all of us must be bisexual. And we were sort of in a situation of thinking that we’re not [bisexual] because of society. So we are hiding the other side of ourselves, which is less acceptable. But I don’t have a strong sexual desire towards another woman.”

paul vs. yoko - i don't even know where to start on this one paul and yoko have had a weird relationship for decades. paul and yoko is its own crazy rabbit hole. Yoko, June 4th 1968: I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul.

tier 3 -

pyramus and thisbe - the beatles did a shakespeare performance. 'Paul and John play the star-crossed lovers Pyramus and Thisbe'. "For the Shakespeare spoof, Lennon took the female role of Thisbe, McCartney played Pyramus [...]. Incidentally, McCartney later owned a cat he named Thisbe." ("""""incidentally"""""). supposedly john had a cat named pyramus but i've never seen any sort of corroboration.

hey jude - "He said it was written about Julian, my child. He knew I was splitting with Cyn and leaving Julian. He was driving over to say hi to Julian. He’d been like an uncle to him. You know, Paul was always good with kids. And so he came up with ‘Hey Jude’.

But I always heard it as a song to me. If you think about it… Yoko’s just come into the picture. He’s saying, ‘Hey, Jude – hey, John.’ I know I’m sounding like one of those fans who reads things into it, but you can hear it as a song to me. The words ‘go out and get her’ – subconsciously he was saying, Go ahead, leave me. On a conscious level, he didn’t want me to go ahead. The angel in him was saying, ‘Bless you.’ The devil in him didn’t like it at all because he didn’t want to lose his partner."

here today - Paul McCartney composed "Here Today" in mid-1981,[3] less than a year after John Lennon was murdered. In a 1982 interview with The Los Angeles Times, McCartney said that due to the honest and emotional nature of the song he was "kind of crying" when he wrote it.[4] He even found it difficult to talk about with the other remaining members of the Beatles.[5] The structure of the song itself is written like a dialogue between Lennon and McCartney. McCartney says that Lennon used to "lay into" McCartney, but often did not really mean it, and this is emulated in the hypothetical conversation where the two bicker over whether or not they really know each other. The song is about McCartney really trying to talk to Lennon, but finding it futile after the latter's death.[6]

beatles sandwich - "When we were super close…examples being, like, going down the motorway and the van had no air-conditioning and it was bitter, in the middle of winter, and we lay on top of each other, literally. It was the only way we could stay warm. We suffered for a while, just shivering, and then someone said: Well, why don't we…? So we did a Beatles sandwich"

shared clothes - many many examples of them (all 4 of them really) sharing clothes or at least having matching clothes. tbh i don't really care about all that it's not that significant to me but on the day they shot the revolution and hey jude music videos john and paul apparently swapped a shirt which is more wild to me (note: the director of two of us + let it be was the one who directed the MVs)

the nerk twins - "That spring of 1960, John and I went down to a pub in Reading, The Fox And Hound, run by my cousin Betty Robbins and her husband. We worked behind the bar. It was a lovely experience that came from John and I just hitching off down there. At the end of the week we played in the pub as The Nerk Twins. We even made our own posters."

"i love paul" pin - Harry Nilsson: Someone told me a few minutes ago they saw John walking on the street [once] wearing a sign saying – a button, rather, saying ‘I Love Paul’. And this girl who told me that said she asked him, “Why are you wearing the button that says ‘I Love Paul’?” He said, “Because I love Paul.” [laughs]  

nme hug - "Footage of the Beatles accepting an NME award 1965, in which you can see John give Paul a brief hug"

howard stern interview - i assume this is referring to the interview with howard stern where stern says john is "the love of your life" to paul and paul gets all panicked and says "no he isn't! the women!" <- very convincing king! love the desperate tone in your voice (video here, slightly longer audio clip here)

day by day interview - beatles interview november 12 1963 where paul is sick with stomach flu and john is clearly concerned

two of us (2000) - Two of Us is a 2000 television drama (and the third original VH1 film[1]) which offers a dramatized account of April 24, 1976, six years after the break-up of the Beatles and the day in which Lorne Michaels made a statement on Saturday Night Live offering the Beatles $3,000 to reunite on his program.

It was directed by Michael Lindsay-Hogg (who also directed the 1970 Beatles film, Let It Be) and starred Jared Harris as John Lennon and Aidan Quinn as Paul McCartney. Beatles historian Martin Lewis served as the film's technical adviser, and the screenplay was written by "longtime Beatles fan and Beatlefest attendee, Mark Stanfield."[2]

btw Paul has seen the movie and liked it!

PAUL: [hums] Mhm. I did see it, actually, yeah. What was okay about that was that at the beginning of the film it said, “John and Paul met on such and such a date, in New York, and this is us imagining what might have happened. It’s pure fiction”, they did it like a disclaimer at the front. So I thought, well, that’s okay, ‘cause I can get into this. And I mean, I must say I enjoyed it, I thought I wish that had happened!

Also John kisses Paul in an elevator see clip here

understanding l/m docs - Understanding Lennon McCartney -documentary series

michael gerber blog post - Were John and Paul Lovers?

"old estranged fiance" - John: We tried to think of a number to finish off with so I could get out of here and be sick...*nervous laughter*...and we thought we’d do a nu-- a number of an old, estranged fiance of mine, called Paul. This is one I never sang. It’s an old Beatle number and we just about know it.

i don't know (johnny johnny) - This track is only known through the Forthlin Road tapes, where it sits with the series of instrumental jams. This one is a somewhat better structured blues number, with Lennon and McCartney vocalising together and separately, although a full lyric is impossible to decipher. It is presumed to be a co-write, and the lack of proper words suggests it was of recent creation, although probably not made up on the spot. The title is derived from something Lennon seems to sing – possibly referencing himself not knowing any words. feel free to listen to it and try to figure out wtf they're singing.

paul vs. stuart - "[Stu] and I used to have a deadly rivalry. I don’t know why. He was older and a strong friend of John’s. When I look back on it I think we were probably fighting for John’s attention. He was older and John was a year older than me, and that year makes a hell of a lot of difference at the age of eighteen. So I wasn’t such a big friend of Stuart’s. I was always practical, thinking our band could be great, but with him on bass there was always something holding us back" and they even very famously had a physical fight on stage: Although Cyn would write about how Stu ‘restrained himself’ when Paul was niggling him, there was one occasion when he didn’t, when the Top Ten witnessed an explosion, and yet another fight: Beatle on Beatle this time, Stu on Paul. It was the second of the two occasions Paul would count when acknowledging he was publicly seen not liking Stuart. That is, in front of an audience.

The fight’s origin is vague or varies in the telling, but everyone agrees that a tease or derogatory mention of Astrid set it off. Klaus says Stuart owed Paul some money, and Paul, nagging to get it back, made a flippant remark about Astrid being able to afford it. As Paul would remember:

“I’d always wondered if he and I ever had a fight, who would win? He was probably wondering too. I assumed I’d win because he wasn’t that big, but the strength of love entered into him or something because he was no easy match at all.”

Everyone was amazed by the manner in which Stu, so manifestly puny, could summon up such power, as if his every muted response so eighteen months of snipes and jibes accumulated in one volcanic eruption. As George put it, “Stuart suddenly got this amazing strength that Paul hadn’t bargained for.“ 

Klaus says Stu "picked Paul up and put him on the piano." 

Pete says Stu "landed Paul such a wallop that it knocked him off his stool. [They] began struggling on the floor, rolling around, locked in the most ferocious battle… a fury of flailing fists.”

Paul always speaks of it being “a silly fight – you just stay locked for about an hour, with nobody doing anything. All the German gangsters were laughing, but it was very serious for us.”

paul/nancy wedding date - “They have been given special dispensation by the council to marry on Sunday and have chosen what would have been the groom’s former band-mate John Lennon’s 71st birthday for their big day. A spokesman for McCartney told Reuters in an email: "We are not commenting.” ... “After the wedding, she [Barbara Walters] says, they all went to Paul’s backyard where a tent was set up for the reception. […] There was a toast that Paul made to John Lennon, whose 71st birthday it was.”

philip norman books - philip norman wrote some. controversial. books. where he said all kinds of crazy shit, the peak of which is probably from his john lennon bio: “From chance remarks he had made, she (Yoko) gathered there had even been a moment when—on the principle that bohemians should try everything—he had contemplated an affair with Paul, but had been deterred by Paul’s immovable heterosexuality. Nor, apparently, was Yoko the only one to have picked up on this. Around Apple, in her hearing, Paul would sometimes be called John’s Princess. She had also once heard a rehearsal tape with John’s voice calling out “Paul … Paul …” in a strangely subservient, pleading way. “I knew there was something going on there,” she remembers. “From his point of view, not from Paul’s. And he was so angry at Paul, I couldn’t help wondering what it was really about.” (copied from here). theres a lot of other wild shit too but this is already so long. do your own research ig.

greek island - "In the summer of 1967 The Beatles, encouraged by John Lennon, agreed to buy a set of Greek islands where they intended to live and work alongside family and friends." They didn't buy them. There are some cute pics of paul being #dadmode with johns son julian you can see a couple on this page or on google.com

tier 4 -

beetles on ram cover - the back of the Ram album cover has a picture of two beetles fucking. paul's been pretty wishywashy on how deliberate it was so make of that what you will (aka it was definitely intentional)

"it's like you and me are lovers" - PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing— JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers.

1976 snl - There was great public demand for a Beatles reunion during the 1970s. For example, in September 1976, American promoter Sid Bernstein, who had booked many of the Beatles' historic American appearances in 1964-1966, published a full-page ad in the New York Times publicly requesting the group to reunite and offering millions of dollars.[3] On April 24, 1976, Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels parodied such offers with an on-air announcement that he would pay the Beatles $3,000 if they would perform on his program together. He joked, "divide [the money] up any way you want. If you want to give less to Ringo, that's up to you."[4] John Lennon discussed the Saturday Night Live episode, as well as his relationship with McCartney, in a September 1980 interview for Playboy:

Paul and I were together watching that show. He was visiting us at our place in the Dakota. We were watching it and almost went down to the studio, just as a gag. We nearly got into a cab, but we were actually too tired. [...] That was a period when Paul just kept turning up at our door with a guitar. I would let him in, but finally I said to him, 'Please call before you come over. It's not 1956 and turning up at the door isn't the same anymore. You know, just give me a ring.' He was upset by that, but I didn't mean it badly. I just meant that I was taking care of a baby all day and some guy turns up at the door. [...] But, anyway, back on that night, he and Linda walked in and he and I were just sitting there, watching the show, and we went, 'Ha-ha, wouldn't it be funny if we went down?' but we didn't.[5]

Paul McCartney also remembered the event for an interview: "[John] said, 'We should go down there. We should go down now and just do it.' It was one of those moments where we said, 'Let's not and say we did.'"[6]

"it's only me" - "I remember kind of arguing once about something musical or something, and I remember John kind of just taking his glasses down and saying, “It’s only me.” And putting them back up again. " + many other examples of telling this story + lyrics to No Words from Band on the Run You want to turn your head away / And someone’s thinking of you / I wish you’d see, it’s only me, / I love you.

if i fell valentine - if i fell lyrics written on the back of a valentine given to paul note the dedication

dr. winston o'boogie interview - john interview he did with HIMSELF.

couple highlights:

Q. Yes it does.. take the first track for instance "Going Down On Love," that seems to be saying something.... A. Next you'll be asking me who "Steel And Glass" is about (3rd track side 2..).. I can tell you who it isn't about, for instance, it's not about Jackie Kennedy, Mort Sahl, Sammy Davis, Better Midler... Eartha Kitt, it's not about her either.... Q. It's not Paul again... is it? I mean you two are like... I mean grow up... A. Wrong again.

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy? A. Not yet, I thought I'd save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it. Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you're usually 'keeping up with the Jones', haven't you ever... there was talk about you and PAUL... A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein... anyway I'm saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

john vs. jim - john and jim famously did not like each other lol. jim thought john was a bad influence (well...) and john didnt like jim telling paul what to do all the time "[Paul] liked it with daddy and the brother… and obviously missed his mother. And his dad was the whole thing. Just simple things: he wouldn’t go against his dad and wear drainpipe trousers. And his dad was always trying to get me out of the group behind me back, I found out later. He’d say to George: “Why don’t you get rid of John, he’s just a lot of trouble. Cut your hair nice and wear baggy trousers,” like I was the bad influence because I was the eldest, so I had all the gear first usually.

So Paul was always like that. And I was always saying, “Face up to your dad, tell him to fuck off. He can’t hit you. You can kill him [laughs], he’s an old man.” I used to say, “Don’t take that shit off him.” Because I was always brought up by a woman, so maybe it was different. But I wouldn’t let the old man treat me like that. He treated Paul like a child all the time, cut his hair and telling him what to wear, at seventeen, eighteen.

But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he fucking dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, “I need a steady career.” We couldn’t believe it. So I said to him—my Aunt Mimi reminded me of this the other night—he rang up and said he’d got this job and couldn’t come to the group. So I told him on the phone, “Either come or you’re out.” So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me. But it was a long trip."

a toot and a snore - A Toot and a Snore in '74 is a bootleg album consisting of the only known recording session in which John Lennon and Paul McCartney played together after the break-up of the Beatles in 1970. First mentioned by Lennon in a 1975 interview,[1] more details were brought to light in May Pang's 1983 book, Loving John, and it gained wider prominence when McCartney made reference to the session in a 1997 interview. Talking with Australian writer Sean Sennett in his Soho office, McCartney said the "session was hazy... for a number of reasons".

john vs. linda - another topic that's a rabbit hole in its own right. we got john crossing out 'wedding' and writing 'funeral' about paul and lindas wedding, saying "I didn’t think she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she’s married him", this crazy ass letter where john wrote "So get that into your petty little perversion of a mind, Mrs. McCartney - the cunts asked me to keep quiet about it. Of course, the money angle is important - to all of us - especially after all the petty shit that came from your insane family/in-laws-and GOD HELP YOU OUT, PAUL - see you in two years - I reckon you'll be out then - inspite of it all love you to both, from us two". again please look into it yourselves theres a lot going on there.

real love demo - Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. And now a baby, and another on the way (laughs) la la la la la farm (laughs) Why must we be alone? Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. (scats) If it don't feel right, don't do it. If it don't look right, look right through it. If it don't feel right, don't do it. Just call him on the phone.

don't let me down / i'll never let you down - PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing— JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers.

marriages 8 days apart - "Hoping to get married in France, John Lennon and Yoko Ono flew to Paris on [16/3/69]. The couple had decided to marry on 14 March 1969, two days after the wedding of Paul McCartney to Linda Eastman; whether it was in response to this event on some level is open to conjecture." They got married March 20.

"i fell for pauls looks" - supposed quote from harry nilsson but i can't find an actual source so alas i don't believe it:  "In a late wee-hour-of-the-morning talk, he once told me: ‘I’m just like everybody else, Harry, I fell for Paul’s looks'"

call me back again - "The song was written by Paul McCartney in the spring of 1974 in California, while he was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel." note the time would put it around when paul met up with john and they did the jam session mentioned above. "Call Me Back Again’ was recorded on 3 February 1975 at Allen Toussaint’s Sea Saint Studios in New Orleans." aka it was recorded during the sessions that paul had invited john to join for and john very strongly considered. tl;dr it was an obvious message to john to call him lmao.

tier 5 -

jealous guy - Paul: "He wrote ‘I’m Just A Jealous Guy’ and he said that the song was about me."

I was feeling insecure / You might not love me anymore / I was shivering inside / I was shivering inside / I didn't mean to hurt you / I'm sorry that I made you cry / Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you / I'm just a jealous guy

"maybe that would have satisfied it" - Mid-June?, 1972: John talks to Sandra Shevey about having a partner who fulfills both creative and romantic aspirations, and the disorienting experience of working with Yoko for the first time as competitive equals in the recording studio on Some Time In New York City.

JOHN: It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

apple - idk what this is talking about in particular but apple corps was the company the beatles founded and it's a complicated mess lmao. if someone wants to tl;dr it better than that feel free...

john vs. martha - i think this is about the story that martha bit john while he was play fighting with paul but i can't find any corroboration for that so idrc but i'll instead share this martha-related quote from paul: Anyhow, I got Martha and she was a lovely little dog. I just adored her. One of the unlikely side effects was that John became very sympathetic towards me. When he came round and saw me playing with Martha, I could tell that he liked her. John was a very guarded person, which was partly where all his wit came from… Seeing me with Martha, with my guard down, all of a sudden he started warming to me. And so he let his guard down too.

new orleans - see above. some interesting quotes:

may pang: “I knew that if I got him down there, it would have started something. I knew that it was that close. I knew that he had already been itching for certain things… John was ready. He was just open for hanging out with Paul, at home—in New York, and L.A., but especially in New York. [Paul and Linda] would pop up and visit all the time. We’d go out to dinner around the corner from where we lived, out for drinks, we were hanging out with them.”

"[May] Pang told me the following story: Lennon was making plans to see Paul and Linda McCartney right before Ono pulled her string and brought him home to the Dakota in Manhattan. “Paul and Linda were going to New Orleans to record the Venus and Mars album,” May recalled. “And John found out they would be there. He made plans to surprise them down there. He was in a great mood and he really missed Paul.” Just as Lennon was making this plan, he was also trying to quit smoking. Enter Ono. “She told him she had a method for quitting and he should come over and she’d show him. I had a feeling this was a bad idea. She hadn’t seen him in a while, and I felt something was wrong. John told me not to worry, but I did.” Indeed, Pang was correct, since Lennon did not return to her. Pang can only surmise that Lennon shared his plans with Ono, who feared a reunion with the McCartneys would spur Lennon to leave her forever. Paul McCartney was, and is, Yoko Ono’s prime rival and arch enemy. Case in point: When Linda McCartney died in 1998, Paul didn’t invite Yoko to the memorial service in New York. He did invite May Pang, and she attended. “Linda was wonderful,” she said. At first when Pang told people about Lennon’s plans — after he’d left her — no one believed it. “But then something happened,” she said. “Derek Taylor, the Beatles’ publicist, showed me a postcard he’d gotten from John in England. It said, ‘Going to New Orleans to see Paul.’ And that was it. That was the proof.”

Art garfunkel: “Incredibly disarmingly, he said to me, ‘Artie, you worked with your Paul recently. I’m getting calls from New Orleans that my Paul wants to work with me and I’m thinking about it, and I don’t know. How did it go when you worked with Paul?’ I said, ‘John, remember that there was a musical blend that was a great kick. if you can return to the fun of that sound and the musical happenings with your old buddy, and ignore the strands of complication and history, what I found with my Paul is the harmony and the shound happenings are a full agenda and they’ll keep you busy and you’ll have fun.’ [Did he seem like he wanted to get back together with McCartney?] I thought he did.”

key west - "We were in Key West in 1964. We were due to fly into Jacksonville, in Florida, and do a concert there, but we’d been diverted because of a hurricane. We stayed there for a couple of days, not knowing what to do except, like, drink. I remember drinking way too much, and having one of those talking-to-the-toilet bowl evenings. It was during that night, when we’d all stayed up way too late, and we got so pissed that we ended up crying – about, you know, how wonderful we were, and how much we loved each other, even though we’d never said anything. It was a good one: you never say anything like that. Especially if you’re a Northern Man." other tellings here. referenced in here today: What about the night we cried? (What about the night we cried?) / Because there wasn't any reason left to keep it all inside?

dear friend - reconciliatory song paul wrote for john while they were fighting in public in '71 "Often I would think of John, and what a pity it was that we’d argued so publicly and so viciously at times. At the time of writing this song, in early 1971, he’d called the McCartney album ‘rubbish’ in Rolling Stone magazine. It was a really difficult time. I just felt sad about the breakdown in our friendship, and this song kind of came flowing out. ‘Dear friend, what’s the time?/Is this really the borderline?’ Are we splitting up? Is this ‘you go your way; I’ll go mine’?" "I was sort of answering him here, asking, ‘Does it need to be this hurtful?’ I think this is a good line: ‘Are you afraid, or is it true?’ – meaning, ‘Why is this argument going on? Is it because you’re afraid of something? Are you afraid of the split-up? Are you afraid of my doing something without you? Are you afraid of the consequences of your actions?’ And the little rhyme, ‘Or is it true?’ Are all these hurtful allegations true? This song came out in that kind of mood. It could have been called ‘What the Fuck, Man?’ but I’m not sure we could have gotten away with that then." "I would imagine he heard it. I think he listened to my records when they came out, but he never responded directly to me. That was not his way. We were guys; it wasn’t like a boy and girl. In those days you didn’t release much emotion with each other." contains the lines Dear friend, throw the wine / I'm in love with a friend of mine <- make of that what you will

paul reconnecting john/yoko - In an October 2010 interview, Ono spoke about Lennon's "lost weekend" and her subsequent reconciliation with him. She credited McCartney with helping save her marriage to John. "I want the world to know that it was a very touching thing that [Paul] did for John."[275] While visiting Ono in March 1974, McCartney, on leaving, asked "[W]hat will make you come back to John?" McCartney subsequently passed her response to Lennon while visiting him in Los Angeles. "John often said he didn't understand why Paul did this for us, but he did."

PAUL: I was telling you about the marriage thing. When [John and Yoko] broke up, [Yoko] came through London and visited us, which was very nice – Linda and I had just got married a bit before, and we were living in this big old house in St. John’s Wood. And Yoko came by and we started talking, and obviously the important subject for us is, “What’s happened? You’ve broken up, then? You’re here, he’s there. What’s happened?” And she was very nice and confided in us [saying], “Yeah, we’re kind of broken up.” But she was being very strong about it, very – not feminist, but very strong, you know, a strong woman, rather than just submitting to it all. And she said, “No, he’s got to work his way back. If he’s to get back with me, I can’t go—” She couldn’t – which is good. I think she would have been mad to just have gone and prostrated herself at his feet, kind of thing. But she said, “No, he’s gonna have to work at it.”

And I said, “Well look, if I see him – what, are you still in love? Do you still love him?” She said, “Yeah.” I said, “Well, would you be – would you think it was an intrusion if I kind of said to him, ‘Look, man, she loves you and there’s a way to get back, and you can—’” [laughs] Sounds like Beatle songs. Sounds like those – “I send all my loving from me to you.” And I said this to Yoko. I said, “Would that be okay? Would you hate that? You know, we might see him around, and I’d like to be the mediator in this because the two of you have obviously got something pretty strong going.” And she said she didn’t mind. So that was that visit.

Then we went out to visit [John and Harry Nilsson in L.A.] and they were doing Pussy Cats, and it was weird kind of just meeting and everything. But I just said to John, who was in the house with Nilsson, Jesse [Ed Davis], Keith Moon, and a few other guys, and they were all… It was a pretty crazed house there, you know, you hear some of the stories that came out of that that house, and… it was pretty wild days. And I said to [John], “Come on. Come here. Come in the back room, I want to talk to you privately.”

So we went in the back room and I sat him down privately and I said, “Look, I feel a bit like a matchmaker here, but this girl of yours, she really still loves you. Do you love her?” [Like we’re] in the divorce court, you know, a divorce settlement. And he said, “But I don’t know what to do.” I said, “Well, I’ve talked to her,” and so on and so on. “She does still love you, but you’re going to have to work your little ass off, man. You have to get back to New York, you have to take a separate flat, you have to send her roses every fucking day, you have to work at it like a bitch! And you just might get her back.”

Which is sort of what he did. But you’ll never hear that story. You won’t hear that off them because… [pause] I don’t know. It gives me too much – I’m too [much] in the story, then. They don’t want me in the story. They’d prefer to think John – I mean, if you hear it from John’s point of view, it’ll just be that he spoke to Yoko on the phone and she said to him, “Come back,” and sort of worked it out.

john attacking paul's girlfriends - john was a total dick to most girls that were associated with paul lmao. "I remember I had a girlfriend called Celia. I must have been sixteen or seventeen, about the same age as her. She was the first art-college girl I’d ever been out with, a bit more sophisticated. And we went out one evening and for some reason John tagged along. I can’t remember why it was. I think he’d thought I was going to see him, I thought I’d cancelled it and he showed up at my house. But he was a mate, and he came on a date with this Celia girl, and at the end of the date she said, ‘Why did you bring that dreadful guy?’ And of course I said, ‘Well, he’s all right really.’ And I think, in many ways, I always found myself doing that. It was always. ‘Well I know he was rude it was funny, though, wasn’t it?"

George:  One time Paul had a chick in bed and John came in and got a pair of scissors and cut all her clothes into pieces and then wrecked the wardrobe. He got like that occasionally; it was because of the pills and being up too long.

Also he was a dick to Peggy Lipton when she was with paul:

paul's phone call to hunter davies - “Not long after John’s death, I had some strange conversations with Paul. He seemed so upset by so many things, not least of which was John’s death. This was in May 1981, and I jotted down in a diary some of the things he told me.... very interesting and depressing read...i recommend reading the whole thing

"in bed" - Q magazine 1998:

paris - "John Lennon was given £100 ahead of his 21st birthday on 9 October 1961. He and Paul McCartney decided to travel to Spain for a holiday. In the end they went no further than Paris. [...] Lennon and McCartney also abandoned bookings which The Beatles had, which led the others to believe that the band may have split up. [...] Lennon and McCartney’s Parisian trip inspired the 1977 Wings song ‘Café On The Left Bank’." very romantic little trip. george was very mad because he needed the money they would've gotten from the canceled gigs. craziest underrated paul quote to me is: There is a very beautiful song called "The End Of The End", the way you talk about your whole ending, and the lyric goes: "It's a start of a journey to a much better place." You mean, better than England? Paul: It's basically a start of a journey to France. Or Spain through France. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a much better place, Paris. long post here about john and paul and paris throughout the years.

tier 6 -

i know (i know) - 1973 song by john. "The curious repetition of the title in parentheses could have been simply one of Lennon’s whims, but it is possible that he was presenting a coded message – not for the first time – to his former bandmate Paul McCartney. Wings’ 1971 album Wild Life had featured the song ‘Some People Never Know’, in which McCartney lamented that some people fail to understand what it means to love. In this light, Lennon’s response saw the pair in agreement, in a marked contrast to their earlier song-based conflicts." compare the opening riff to the opening riff of i've got a feeling. also note the lyrics Today, I love you more than yesterday, And I know it's getting better all the time

"i'd love to turn you on" - "As John and I looked at each other, a little flash went between our eyes, like ‘I’d love to turn you on’, a recognition of what we were doing, so I thought, Okay, we’ve got to have something amazing that will illustrate that."

new york '68 - john and paul went to nyc for a few days to promote apple. absolutely rancid vibes.

In May, John and I went to New York to announce that Apple was starting: ‘Send us your huddled talent.’ We wanted a grand launch, but I had a strange feeling and I was very nervous. I had a real personal paranoia. I don’t know if it was what I was smoking at the time, but it was very strange for me.

I remember sitting up there and being interviewed. John was wearing a bus driver’s or a prefect’s badge, and he was doing well. Linda was there taking photos, and afterwards I said, ‘Couldn’t you tell I was nervous?’ but she said it was fine. For some reason I just felt very uneasy about the whole thing; maybe it was because we were out of our depth. We were talking to media like Fortune magazine, and they were interviewing us as a serious economic force – which we weren’t. We hadn’t done the business planning; we were just goofing off and having a lot of fun.

john's stolen diaries - john lennon's diaries from 1975-1980 that have a storied history. "He wrote about everything, you know, what he ate, what he dreamed, what time he got up in the morning, when he went to the bathroom, what he watched on TV, when he had sex, how much money he was spending, his relationship with Yoko, his relationship with Sean, what he thought about everybody else, especially Paul, just on and on and on. […] On many days, it just seemed like a total stream of consciousness."

lunchroom tapes - bugged conversation during between john and paul and others during the let it filming. there's. a lot going on there have fun.

lsd trip - john accidentally took lsd and paul decided to take it too: "I thought, Maybe this is the moment where I should take a trip with him. It’s been coming for a long time. It’s often the best way, without thinking about it too much, just slip into it. John’s on it already, so I’ll sort of catch up. It was my first trip with John, or with any of the guys. We stayed up all night, sat around and hallucinated a lot.

Me and John, we’d known each other for a long time. Along with George and Ringo, we were best mates. And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot. And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away.

There’s something disturbing about it. You ask yourself, ‘How do you come back from it? How do you then lead a normal life after that?’ And the answer is, you don’t. After that you’ve got to get trepanned or you’ve got to meditate for the rest of your life. You’ve got to make a decision which way you’re going to go

I would walk out into the garden – ‘Oh no, I’ve got to go back in.’ It was very tiring, walking made me very tired, wasted me, always wasted me. But ‘I’ve got to do it, for my well-being.’ In the meantime John had been sitting around very enigmatically and I had a big vision of him as a king, the absolute Emperor of Eternity. It was a good trip. It was great but I wanted to go to bed after a while.

I’d just had enough after about four or five hours. John was quite amazed that it had struck me in that way. John said, ‘Go to bed? You won’t sleep!’ ‘I know that, I’ve still got to go to bed.’ I thought, now that’s enough fun and partying, now … It’s like with drink. That’s enough. That was a lot of fun, now I gotta go and sleep this off. But of course you don’t just sleep off an acid trip so I went to bed and hallucinated a lot in bed. I remember Mal coming up and checking that I was all right. ‘Yeah, I think so.’ I mean, I could feel every inch of the house, and John seemed like some sort of emperor in control of it all. It was quite strange. Of course he was just sitting there, very inscrutably."

now and then - beatles song that came out last november with a long history (long post but i recommend looking at the whole thing)

shared dreams - "The teenage Paul McCartney would love the idea of fame. That’s what he was trying to do, that was the dream. But it’s funny – life gives you minor premonitions. You don’t think of them as premonitions until the dream comes true and then you think, ‘Hey, I wonder if that was a sign.’ I remember when John and I were first hanging out together, I had a dream about digging in the garden with my hands. I’d dreamt that before but I’d never found anything other than an old tin can. But in this dream I found a gold coin. I kept digging and I found another. And another. The next day I told John about this amazing dream I’d had and he said, ‘That’s funny, I had the same dream.’ So both of us had this dream of finding this treasure. And I suppose you could say it came true. I remember years later talking about it – ‘Remember that dream we had?’; ‘Yeah, that was far out.’ So the message of that dream was: keep digging, lads."

JOHN: Hey! Did you dream about me last night?

PAUL: [long pause] I can’t remember.

JOHN: Very strong dream. We both dreamt about it. It was amazing! Different dreams, you know, but I thought you must’ve been there. [inaudible] I was touching you. [inaudible]

PAUL: Nothing to worry about, though?

JOHN: Nothing to worry about, no.

carl perkins - "The night before he left, a song came to Carl that summed up his warm feelings about the visit, and he couldn’t get it out of his mind. It was so strong that Carl didn’t even write it down, which he said was strange for him. He usually always wrote his songs down immediately.

In the morning, Carl Perkins sang the song, which he named My Old Friend, for Linda and Paul, saying it was his gift for having him as a guest. Half way through the song, after singing “if we never meet again this side of life, in a little while, over yonder, where there’s peace and quiet, my old friend, won’t you think about me every now and then?” tears streamed down Paul’s face and he stood up and stepped outside.

Not knowing what the matter was, Carl stopped, a bit shaken. Didn’t Paul like the song? Linda warmly put her arms around Carl, and thanked him. She said the song was getting Paul to finally connect with his grief over John Lennon’s death.

Linda explained that the last time Paul talked to John, he had said the same line to Paul: “think about me every now and then, my old friend.”

Carl and Linda were now convinced that the song had been channeled from John Lennon’s spirit, as a gift to Paul."

all my loving - Witnesses noted that the Beatles song "All My Loving" came over the hospital's sound system at the moment Lennon was pronounced dead.

tier 7 - what happened in india? who knows. here's a very long post with quotes about india. it does seem like things were. Different. after the beatles came back from india. a lot of people think Something happened there, like paul rejecting johns romantic advances in some way. i don't buy that even remotely personally. i think everybody spending too much time Thinking and no drugs made everybody go a little nutty. But then again, microphone blowjob

the tiers of insanity

[boricuacherry-blog]

Reid signed Choice to a record deal in 1996 and, according to Pink's mother, initially marketed them as a white trio singing black R&B. Choice relocated to Atlanta to work on an album that would never see the light of day. The group performed at the record company's annual Christmas party in 1998 and bombed, but Pink stood out. Reid allegedly gave Pink an ultimatum: Go solo or go home. Pink chose to go solo, and Choice disbanded, but its single "Key to My Heart" lives on through the Kazaam soundtrack.

After a tumultuous introduction into the music industry, Pink finally released her first album, Can't Take Me Home, in 2000 under Reid's label, LaFace. It was a hip-hop and R&B-infused pop vehicle produced by Kevin "She'kspere" Briggs and touted songwriting credits from "Bills, Bills, Bills" and "No Scrubs" writers Babyface and Kandi Burruss, a former member of girl group Xscape who now stars in The Real Housewives of Atlanta. The album peaked at No. 26 on the Billboard Hot 100 while the singles "There You Go," "Most Girls," and "You Make Me Sick" peaked at seven, four, and 23 respectively.

Can't Take Me Home received mixed reactions from critics - the notoriously prickly Robert Christgau was charmed, Entertainment Weekly less so, writing that despite the album's slick production, "there's hardly an original musical moment on it." Regardless of the lukewarm reception, Pink's steady rise as a pop star was set into motion. She won Billboard's Female New Artist award and opened for *NSYNC on the North American leg of the band's No Strings Attached tour. Those successes would lead to Lady Marmalade. That song scored Pink her first No. 1 single, MTV Video Music Award, and Grammy. Later that year, she released the critically acclaimed Missundaztood.

Pink was excited by the album's new direction, which included writing credits from 4 Non Blonde's Linda Perry. But even Perry was surprised at first when Pink approached her. From Rolling Stone:

I sent it to Madonna and she passed, but a week later, Alecia [a.k.a. Pink] called. She left me this really crazy message how she would come find me if I didn't call her back. I saw what she looked like - she was a bling-bling girl - and I said, "I think you have the wrong Linda Perry." She's like, "Is this the Linda Perry who sang, 'Dear Mister President' in 4 Non Blondes?" I'm like, "Yeah." She's like, "Well, I have the right person." I had just written Get the Party Started" and I go, "Well, I've got something I wrote last week," and sent it to her. I guess she sent it to LA Reid and they said, "Okay we have our first single."

There's little evidence to suggest that Pink actively tried to convince people that she was black. Sure, she had cornrows for a time, but it was the early aughts, and white musicians from Justin Timberlake to Christina Aguilera had them. She sometimes spoke with a blaccent, but so do a lot of corny kids who listen to hip-hop. Still, Pink hesitated to call herself white, and she even winked at racial ambiguity.

During a 2000 interview for Launch - which later became the now-defunct Yahoo! Music - there was a segment titled "Black? White? Pink!" in which Pink, in full blaccent, addressed a question regarding her race:

People think [...] my mom lied to me about who my dad is. They totally think I'm mixed! I'm like, whatever! Like, I'm a mutt. We all are. We all came from the same place: God. That's how I explain it, we're all pink on the inside. Whatever you want to call it. I don't care. If you respect me, I respect you. And if you're ignorant, then I don't have anything to do with you, basically. I mean, a lot of people come up to me and they're like, "What's your music like? A Portishead kind of thing?" Or else, they've heard the song on the radio first and [they're] like, "She's not white, she's not white." But people need to realize you don't have to be anything to be anything. It comes from your experiences, it comes from where you've been, what you've been taught, and what you've decided to go with and learn.

Pink fan archives also show that during a chat room session between Pink and her fans, one fan asked if she gets less respect because she doesn't "fit the stereotypical R&B look." Pink replied, "No, I would say people give me more respect once they hear me." When asked if she was "white or another nationality" she responded, "I'm Pink." Later in the chat, another user asked, "Do you get offended when people mistake you for black?" Pink replied, "Of course I don't get offended. We're all pink on the inside."

In Driven, there's an entire sequence in which the people who knew and worked with Pink describe the ways in which she defied her whiteness. Music video director Dave Meyers, who shot "There You Go," called Pink "the whitest R&B singer." Babyface called her a "white-black girl." And a friend of Pink's named Mike confirmed that Pink would say, "I'm not white, I'm pink, because everyone's pink on the inside."

Pink's responses to questions about her race suggest a kind of tension that pervaded both pop and politics at the time. Pink's answers simultaneously claimed blackness - playing into the music industry's fetish of white artists presenting as black - while refusing to acknowledge the realities, as well as the very existence, of race. For example, in 2001, Pink told the Baltimore Sun, "I don't choose to get caught up in the whole color scene."

While she promoted Missundaztood, Pink regularly expressed disdain for Can't Take Me Home. "There was no blood, sweat or tears on my first album...and no emotional exchange between me and the musicians. R&B is on a conveyor belt."

But even though Pink was described as a "soulful vanilla child," and her R&B was largely embraced by the industry, she still spoke about occupying black spaces with a streak of resentment. For someone who said she was unbothered by color, who allegedly hung out with black kids because white kids didn't like her, she seemed to be full of stories of black rejection.

The aforementioned all-black girl group that allegedly kicked her out for being white was the first tip-off. Another was from an MTV interview in 2000, when she said "Can't Take Me Home" (originally titled "Can't Take Me Home to Momma") was one of the most personal songs from her debut album because it was about a clandestine interracial relationship. "I wrote when I was very pissed off," Pink said. "I was with someone of a different race, and he didn't want to take me home to his mother because he didn't think that his mother would approve of me, basically."

And in a 2002 interview with Rolling Stone, she said this:

Rolling Stone: The music industry seems more segregated than ever.

Pink: Yeah, it's sickening - the same as it is in life. I've been at the homes of friends who are black and been kicked out of their house by their grandmother. I'll walk into a black radio station and know, just from the vibe in the room, that they don't want me there. It's something that's always affected me, and I hate it. I hate the lines that are drawn between people. I hate what society has taught us. I hate history. I didn't do it, but I can do my little part to change things.

Aside from the strange visual of Pink repeatedly getting kicked out of the homes of black matriarchs of Doylestown, this is a strange stance that complicates the narrative of Pink, the down white girl who is unbothered by race. She did a lot of projecting - "they don't want me" - without much consideration as to who was drawing those so-called lines and why.

And maybe hearing Pink speak with a blaccent was just so absurd that I was too busy laughing to be upset. Or, there are just so many more recent, scornful examples of what bell hooks called "eating the other" - blaccent-touting white musicians like Iggy Azalea who so egregiously use blackness as an accessory and Miley Cyrus's Bangerz era - to get worked up over Pink circa 2000.

Was Pink a cultural appropriator? I don't know, maybe she cited the black church and Mary J. Blige enough to dodge the label, and maybe she had the advantage of rising to fame in an era absent of widespread criticism. Does Pink have a hood pass? My gut says no, especially if visiting a black radio station was enough to trigger a persecution complex. What I do know is that I thought she was a light-skinned black woman when I was nine years old, and it was an impression that the music industry and even Pink were willing to indulge.

[rancim]

6/10

It'll be a funny story, eventually.

Did you get the skin condition in Yorba Linda or here, she asks and I say it started in Yorba Linda. I am groggy. I wake up to see my mom shuffling in the closet, in her hand a bundle of papers. Get your dad out of that room, she tells me, and I say ok, and while I am setting up the recliner, waking him up from slumber and situating him in the living room, she is plastering my room with posters of Jesus, saying Hail Marys. The house was never blessed, she tells me. We are moving around, she is walking fast, towards the kitchen, towards the Costco bag of garlic. That's why your dad is sick. What, I say to her. Huh? He can never use that bedroom again, the bathroom too. There's a crazed look in her eye as she places cloves down, in the walkway, in corners of the closet, stuffed into shelves.

The witch said to sell the house, she says to me. I am taken aback and at a loss of words, now in the middle of a reasonless vacuum, I feel myself on the verge of acting emotionally and I know I should stop myself because things never go well if I am not constantly processing how I act around my family through a lens of intellectualization that gives me the calm demeanor of a scholar, but at that point all of the stress I withhold needed an outlet, and the outlet was the wall, which I then punched. A hole was left. My dad asks what's wrong and I tell her she's talking crazy, talking insanity because she had whispered of the witch to me, never intending for him to know he is cursed I guess and he gets a crazy look in his eyes too and begins to holler at her and she motions to hit me but stops herself and I go upstairs and vent to my sister.

It doesn't make any sense, I tell her, who, woken up by the commotion downstairs, worried that my dad may have to go to the hospital. He's fine, it's your mom that's acting crazy. I tell her that of all the things that are convincing, it's not the empirical evidence of mounting inconsiderations towards health that caused my dad's decline, no, not the 60 plus years of smoking, not the refusal to ever eat anything that wasn't delicious and soaked in cholesterol while being diabetic, not the refusal to ever exercise, to take walks, not the disavowal of the doctor's instructions of how to handle the steroid cream, causing the allergic reaction that ruined his skin, not the cocktail of antibiotics and prescriptions that we dump down his throat and render his immune system weaker than a child's, no, no, no, all of that is just a curse placed on him.

The witch will solve everything is what my mom says to me.

A lifetime spent of absolving my father of consequences, of taking on the lion's load as her life falls apart around her, her body weakening, her back bowed in weakness in the hospital corridor as she spends weeks in the ICU with him because he doesn't have the strength to be alone, even his sickness, she won't let him take responsibility for. A curse did it to him she says to me.

It feels like an affront, an especially egregious one after a week of scrambling around. My sisters are at each other's throats. Fuck your idiot sister, the middle one says to me, feeling abandoned because the oldest moved to Germany to be with her current boyfriend in what feels to her like an abdication of duty, of the hard work of making our father's last year's soft, bearable. Well, no one ever said you had to come home to watch us, we never asked that, everything that you feel you chose, my mother tells us, and a fight is started, and I spend hours as a go-between the both of them, listening and listening and listening and being calm and intent with my conversation and giving them the space to explore their feelings and playing at being a therapist and I am very tired who will attend to me but oh well don't say that.

It feels like an insult that everything that I try to do, rooted in sensibility, of trying to cook things essential for healthy living for him and sterilizing and keeping tabs on his medicine because he never remembers there are too many and whatever, we have a process, we have an idea of what works and what doesn't and it's been calm and what else can you ask for, that all of that can be uprooted by a stranger I never met on the other side of the globe, who doesn't know our circumstances and who doesn't have our interests at heart and who can say things without consequence and make my mother crazed and hold our placid, hard-earned, extremely tenuous sense of peace in our day to day at its breaking point.

She's grieving, my sister tells me after I unload. She's grieving because her nephew just died unexpectedly, a 47 year old man that leaves behind three young kids. I can recall his kindness from the times I visited. And in addition to that, my sister tells me, she's probably stressed out that I don't like our sister. And I recall the conversation in the car I had with my mom hours before about her begging me to make my sisters get along and I tell her that not all siblings are close and people grow apart and if the best you can do is have them in a room together and not at each other's throats then fine, that's fine, what can you do. I tell her that one of my earliest memories is my oldest sister throwing a battery full force at the other one, leaving a hole in the wall. Their fights, convincing in itself that they would never be close. But at the end of the day when we're gone, you only have your brothers and sisters, my mom tells me. Americans believe in choosing their family, I tell my mom. You don't think that Ate has made friends she's closer with than she'll ever be with me? Mom, she left this house when I was ten years old. She's had a lifetime to meet other people, and there's a reason that she never visits, why she insists on putting dad in a home despite him not wanting to, and I hold myself back from saying this next bit, that one time my oldest sister looked at me and said it's not fair that you have to sacrifice your life for dad's well-being and I tell her that yeah well my dad's the oldest compared to my other friends and you know it sucks but I want him to live his remaining years with dignity and she tells me that if she ever lived with our parents it would feel like they were robbing her of her identity and that she has to find out who she was outside of this family and as she recites to me the lines popular with overtherapeutized young people I nod and agree and say you do you and silently try to quell a small fire of betrayal sparking in my stomach, oh oh ow ow ow.

have I not mounted even more stress onto my poor mother's life, have I in responding to emotionality not shown her that even the person you expect to be predictable and consistent and stolid is in fact not, now I get to look forward of them refusing to meet my gaze because they are afraid of my anger and I have to force myself to calm down and be calm and react with nothing and live stone faced and oh oh ah ah ah

ah ah ah I am so tired.