#don't even ask what is this supposed to mean I just drew this based off a random anime figure i saw on pinterest

[5weetmeat]

I liek drawing this freaky creature

[blackcoldcrackedheart]

For @gay-hypersexual

Hope you like it!

Chimney didn't figure that game night date would lead to the greatest show ever.

He was happily munching on popcorn as he realized the fun that was actually occurring would over take game night for him, Maddie, Hen, Karen, Buck, and Tommy.

It started as a joke.

Actually it started before that.

Tommy was cool.

In a lot of ways, Tommy was a cool guy.

But he sucked at charades and pictionary, add to that that Buck didn't know a lot of pop culture stuff- the couple was doomed to lose every round during game night.

It wasn't until a round with Chimney and Maddie led to Karen and Tommy being partnering off.

"How was I supposed to know you meant Marie Antoinette?" Chimney asked, trying to not laugh as Maddie rolled her eyes in annoyance. Clearly upset that her husband couldn't figure out the answer based on her drawing of a large decorative cake.

Maddie threw her hands in the air, "I drew a cake! Is that not a clue?"

Karen and Tommy, unprompted and insync, began to sing "Cake, cake, cake, cake."

The four friends looked at each other before looking at Karen and Tommy quizzically.

"What?" Karen asked looked affronted as Tommy shrugged and just explained "Its Rihanna."

Hen raised brow at that, confused by how effortlessly the two had the same exact reaction.

"That was the first thing you two thought of?" Hen asked, pointing at them back and forth.

Karen looked back at Tommy, a coy smile matching his as they high-fived each other, both laughing over about being "Team Navy!"

"You were in the army?" Buck asked, looking even more confused along with Maddie.

Hen and Chim could only groan in their hands.

"You know what? Just for fun, let's have Karen and Tommy be partners." Chimney suggested, ignoring Hens pout and mumble about being partnered with Buck.

Once it was settled that the points wouldn't matter and that it was just for fun since Chimney and Maddie were winning anyway.

("Boooooo!")

Karen was up to the board first, the topic was movies still.

She drew what looked like an ugly dog.

"Coyote ugly!"

"Yes!" Karen screeched excitedly.

Hens jaw dropped in awe."No. Freaking. Way." She shook her head. "That was a fluke!"

"You don't even guess the ones that I draw that are obvious!" Buck complained, crossing his arms.

"Try another one." Chimney suggested, tossing more popcorn into his mouth and grinning at how Maddie was giving him a look that warned him to not start something with their friends.

Karen took another pieces of paper from the hat they used to collect suggestions.

"Oh, okay." She frowned, jutting her lower lip and thinking what to draw.

She drew a rough sketch of a brain with hearts surrounding.

It took no more than a second for Tommy to snap his fingers and point at Karen with the widest grin. "A beautiful mind."

"YES!" She screamed, meeting him halfway for a hug.

"Nope, no. No freaking way. Because hoooow!?" Hen asked, with Buck at her side and looking at the drawing.

"That's clearly a brain and the hearts are pretty." Tommy explained simply.

Karen poked him playfully in the shoulders, " Just like us." She smiled jovially, she stuck out her tongue st her wife.

"Oooh. You think you two can keep this up during charades? Gesturing is a lot harder than drawing. Maybe this is a fluke?" Chimney hoped he sounded indifferent and not egging.

He wanted to see Hen and Buck loose their cool a little.

Or a lot because both of his friends were not comprehending how Karen figured out Tommy's gesturing to his flexed arms to mean "The Hulk" or how miming wrapping himself in something could mean the "The Mummy."

Chimney nearly choked on his popcorn as Hen, Buck, and Maddie accused them of cheating somehow when after Tommy correctly answered "Harlem Nights" when all Karen did was mime putting on a hat and playing the saxophone.

"It's not cheating." Karen argued, hands under her chin as she jokingly added, "Tommy just gets me." She feigned the dreamily sigh that caused the others to roll their eyes.

Tommy on the other hand looked giddy. "It must be our lesbian and gay aliance." He smiled, earning a laugh from Karen and a "What the hell am I? Chopped liver?" from Hen.

Buck looked mildly less annoyed about all this now, snorting a laugh as he added "Of course we would forget about the bisexuals now."

"I'm sure this is all a fluke." Maddie stated, patting Hen on the back as she walked up to take Karen's spot. "Let me try."

Karen nodded, smiling gleefully and taking back her glas of wine. "Go right ahead."

Maddie took her own piece of paper out, "Oh, this should be easy!"

She mimed putting something over her head and making a slashing motion with her hand.

"Scream?" Tommy suggested.

Maddie shook her head "no"

"NIightmare on elm street?"

No again.

"Friday the 13th?"

No again.

"Can I try?" Karen asked already standing up and taking the slip of paper out of Maddies hand. "Oh. This is easy." Karen mimed yelling, throwing her arms up and looking drastically around.

"I know what you did last summer!" Tommy jumped up excitedly just as Karen yelled again "YES!" and jumped into his arms.

"Oh this is some bull!" Hen declared, noticing how Buck was smiling at how excited Tommy was. Hen frowned, perplexed she asked "Weren't you just pissed off about this a few seconds ago? Why do you look so happy now?"

Buck bumped his shoulder into Hens. "He's been feeling guilty still."

"Guilty?"

Buck gave her a knowing look.

Hen could feel her expression soften as she realized what Buck meant. "Really? He does know we forgave him, right?"

Buck shrugged, "Yeah, but he still feels bad and he always felt like Karen never exactly forgave him either so seeing them like this...I don't mind losing a few games if that means Tommy and Karen are having fun together. I want Tommy to feel like he can be himself around us."

Hen looked up and saw Karen and Tommy laughing over their new found power. "You know this means that he's just going to come over to our place for wine Wednesday with Chimney, right?"

Buck nodded, lips pressed together to keep from laughing, "Oh, get ready for craft beer Thursday because it's coming."

Hen rolled her eyes but laughed maniacally along with Buck as they overheard Karen invite Tommy for wine Wednesday.

[orange-demons-deactivated2024]

Can you please write some jealousy hcs for sf6 Luke, Ed, Jamie and Bosch? If you want to do different characters that's ok or if they are too many you can just do some. Thank you !!!

fun fact: this was originally supposed to be released 2 days ago but guess who accidentally deleted half of it. :| soo it had to be rewritten again. so sad. also I think you can tell who i like based on the length of the hcs, oops

Luke

For the most part, Luke's a pretty chill guy so things don't bother him as much as they used to when he was younger.

He's glad to see you expand your horizons and meet new people along the way, especially finding new masters to train under.

He wants to see how far you've come from the last time he saw you, so he asks for a quick sparring match.

And you'd exceeded his expectations!

He's happy to see you develop your own style and dominate the streets.

"Woah, you've really stepped up your game," he said, genuinely impressed.

One thing though...why do you fight like a certain drunken boxer he knows?

Oh, You're learning under Jamie? Cool. Cool.

He's smiling but you can feel the tension behind it.

Luke is definitely the type of jealous that tries to play it off in a joking manner.

"Let's just say, I've had a couple of run-ins with the guy." he forced a chuckle. "He's...something else."

"Sounds like there's more to the story."

"Maybe there is, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that you're growing into an incredible fighter, and I'm proud of you for that." He pulled you in to press a kiss on your temple.

"Thanks, Luke. That means a lot coming from you."

"Anytime," he said, reaching out to ruffle your hair playfully. "And hey, if Jamie gives you any trouble, you let me know, okay?"

"Of course." you laughed, swatting his hands away.

"Come on, let's grab something to eat. I'm starving, and I bet you could use a bite after all that."

"Sweet! But you're buying."

You're your own person and you get to decide who you want to train under, but it still nags at him from somewhere deep within.

It may sound selfish of him, but he would rather you come to him for your concerns than anyone else. In part as your Coach and boyfriend.

So when other people try to make moves on you, he's internally sizing them up as he gives them a once-over.

So even though he has a smile on his face, it never reaches his eyes.

But he won't bring it up this time since you held Jamie in such a high regard.

And he's not going to hold your hand for every decision you make, but he trusts you enough not to do anything behind his back.

He hates to admit it, but it does tick Luke off knowing that Jamie would rub it in his face in their next encounter, it's almost inevitable.

So he would have a couple of not-so-nice words for the guy the next time he sees him on the street.

Ed

Ed watched you near the gym entrance as he leaned against the heavy sliding doors. 

You were running late to your nightly meet-ups and you weren't responding to any of his messages leading up to now. 

He wouldn't have cared if something came up and you had to cancel your date with him, but you mentioned how excited you were about seeing him today that he didn't think you would've just dipped the last second. 

So he went on a whim and decided to pay the gym down the street a visit. 

And surprise, surprise, here you were. 

You were chatting with, what he could assume was your coach, in the middle of the room. 

Ed's eyes flickered at the way Luke lightly squeezed your shoulder with a certain fondness in his eyes.

Bastard. 

He didn't know if you were oblivious or dumb for not noticing, so he made himself known by stepping on the mats in your direction. 

His presence immediately drew your attention and your eyes lit up when you saw him approaching, stepping back from Luke you said, "Ed! What are you doing here?"

"You're late. We had plans, remember?"

"Oh, crap, I'm so sorry! I lost track of time and…" You sputtered an apology and some excuses that fell deaf on his ears but his attention was more focused on your chummy coach.

Ed's glare could paralyze most people with fear, but Luke observed the exchange with a curious expression.

Realizing you may be having a one-sided conversation you introduced the pair to each other.

Luke extended a hand with a friendly smile. "The name's Luke, I'm one of the coaches here at Buckler's.

"Yeah, I've heard about you." He said, not acknowledging Luke's hand, which made the former pull back.

"Ed's been teaching me a little bit of boxing on the side." You chimed in, wrapping your arms around him. 

Actually, it was a bit odd that he didn't immediately try to shake you off. But that meant his mind was somewhere else.

"You've taught them well, They're lucky to have you as a teacher." Luke replied, addressing Ed again.

"Right…" 

He shrugged the arm you were hanging onto. "You ready to head out?"

"Yeah, just let me grab my stuff real quick then we could go," you said, giving him a small peck on his cheek before heading toward the locker room, leaving the pair alone.

"Look I don't know what you're trying to play at and frankly I don't care, but it ends now." 

"Hey, man, I'm not trying to play at anything. I'm just their coach. We keep things professional here." Luke raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"Yeah? Well, you seem pretty damn friendly for just a coach." Ed scoffed, not buying it.

Luke sighed, dropping his hands. "I get it. You're protective of them, and that's fine. But you need to trust that I'm not crossing any lines."

"Trust ain't something I give out easily. And right now, nothing's telling me you deserve even a lick of it."

"Fair enough," Luke said, crossing his arms. "But you should know that Y/n's here because they want to get stronger. And I'm not going to stop coaching them because you're feeling insecure."

"Insecure? Now you're just spouting crap." Ed narrowed his eyes.

"I don't think so." Luke hummed.

You quickly reappeared from the locker room with a bag slung over your shoulder. 

"Ready!" You said cheerfully, grabbing Ed's hand. "Alright, I'll see you later, Coach!" You called over your shoulder as you dragged the boxer towards the exit.

"Take care. And keep on practicing your footwork," he gave you a small wave. 

"Oh, and Ed," Luke said with a slight edge to his tone, making Ed turn to face him, "Take your shoes off the next time you step on my mats, won't you?"

Ed scoffed, with a smirk tugging on his lips. At least, he ain't no pushover.

You glanced between the two, sensing the underlying tension but not quite catching the full meaning of Luke's remark.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing, Just gym etiquette."

Jamie

With Jamie, he doesn't get jealous as easily as other people on this list. But he definitely has his gripes from time to time.

Woah, Pulling punches during a dance battle? Didn't see that one coming.

You told him you've been learning boxing from a guy who's been hanging around the beat square subway station, at least three times a week.

He was wondering what you've been up to.

Wait, did you say three times a week? That's more than you see him.

What's up with that?

He didn't mind you picking up new skills, especially with something as badass as boxing, but he missed your late-night talks.

And now, it was basically cut in half thanks to this Ed guy.

So he thinks it's time to give him a little visit from the infamous Jamie Siu, himself.

"Ah, now I get it." Jamie playfully circled him. "You got the whole bad boy get up and everything, huh?"

Ed looked up from his phone with an unreadable expression, "You gotta problem wit' me or something?" 

"Not at all buddy. I'm just trying to see who Mooncake's been hanging out with."

You sighed, telling him that Ed is just your Boxing coach and he's teaching you how to wield Psycho Power.

Nothing more, nothing less.

After adverting the crisis that was about to break out at the station, you would give Ed a quick apology before leaving with Jamie. 

Ed shrugged, saying 'whatever' and went back to his phone. 

You would have to confront him about his attitude later on.

Even if he felt jealous of where your focus was, you're still learning how to street fight. And he has no right to interfere with your training with your other Coaches. 

He shrugged at your concerns before asking if you wanted to try this new concoction he put together, offering the lip of his gourd to you. 

"Jamie, I'm being serious." You pushed the bottle back to him. 

"So am I."

You hardly picked up the way his eyes bore into your soul before he broke into a grin, taking a swig of his drink.  "Nothing like a good drink to ease the nerves."

When you tell him you're still upset with him about today, he'll lean up against the rails and cross his arms. 

Most of his jealousy stems from the fact that you're spending more time with other people than him. And he feels a tad bit neglected.

He's used to being isolated so the feeling isn't new to him. But he found himself staring at the space beside him where he expected to find your presence.

The times when you don't visit him, his mind wanders to the silly little adventures you'd tell him about and the places you get to see around the world.

But you have a track record of being gone for long periods of time and he just waits here, until you came back.

It's not your fault. He was just being a hard-ass, so he would be the one to apologize. 

"Look, I know you're still starting out and learning new stuff, which is cool n' all but I miss our nights together. And if it's that important to you, I'll back off. Just make sure to stop by from time to-time. 'Kay?"

"I will…And thanks, Jamie. I really appreciate it."

After a beat of silence, you gestured to the gourd resting beside you two. "Now, about that concoction of yours."

Jamie broke out in a grin, handing it to you. "Prepare to be amazed. The new and improved recipe is made from the ingredients you brought from Tian Hong Yuan. It's got a kick to it, just like you."

You both would've retired for the night in a drunken stupor, entangled in each other's arms.

He snuggled his face in the crook of your neck with a dumb smile, mumbling how much he loved you.

But next time you visit Ed, Jamie gives you a couple of 'souvenirs' to show off to your friend to show who you belong to. 

Bosch

You know, when you decided to stroll through town, Bosch didn't expect you to pick up another Master.

If anything, he guessed it was your eagerness that made people naturally gravitate to you.

He could tell how much you admired Rashid's wind abilities and charming personality, but it still irked him more than he cared to admit.

You would spend the majority of your days training and chatting with Rashid, eventually kicking Bosch to the curb.

He knew it was nothing more than a student-teacher relationship, especially since Rashid's wind techniques were something you wanted to master.

And the thing is, Rashid isn't even a bad guy.

He's just very charismatic, in a way that can be overbearing at times.

But he still couldn't shake the pangs of jealousy that gnawed at his soul.

With every new move that clicked, you would glance at Bosch to see if he noticed.

He's at least a little glad you still sought him out, despite your attention being elsewhere.

Maybe that's why he let it go on for so long.

He'll sit on his emotions and let the feeling bubble in his stomach before he would ever confront you about it. 

He probably even lets out a few snippy remarks if you keep pushing him away.

He doesn't mean it.

He never does, but Bosch has never been in a relationship before, so he doesn't know what to do whenever he felt the burning sensation of jealousy below the surface of his skin.

Bosch sat by the window sill and let the cool midnight breeze brush against his face.

He should've been relaxing, but his mind was anything but calm.

He heard the soft creak of the floorboards as he turned to see you approaching. 

You sat next to him by the window, offering some food you got from the markets. 

Your presence instantly eased his nerves as you both sat in the dark, listening to the distant sounds of the city.

Sensing Bosch's off demeanor, you asked what was on his mind.

"I'm just thinking." He said, sipping his drink.

"About what?"

"You." His eyes met yours, "…and Rashid."

You blinked in surprise. "Rashid? What about him?"

"It's just…you've been spending so much time with him. I get that he's your new master and he's teaching you a lot, but it feels like there's no time for us anymore."

"I didn't know you felt that way, but I'm sorry for not noticing sooner." You said aimlessly playing with his hands before tangling them together.

Bosch sighed, looking down at your intertwined hands. "You don't owe me an apology. I know I'm being hard-headed. I just…I wish I could open up to you more."

"You can always talk to me about anything, Bosch. And you don't need to force yourself to do so for my sake."

He looked up, meeting your eyes again. "I know. It's just hard sometimes. And seeing you with Rashid, makes me feel..."

"Jealous?"

"It's stupid, I know."

"I don't think it's stupid, it's a very human emotion. But I want you to know that no matter what, I'll always want to be here with you."

He hummed, still not taking your words to heart and opting to stare off into the night.

"How about this?" You scooted closer, resting your head on his shoulder, "I'll set aside more time for us, and you tell me whenever something's bothering you instead of bottling it up...Deal?"

A smile tugged on Bosch's face as he drew your intertwined hands closer, brushing his lips against your knuckles.

"Deal."

[thecoolerliauditore]

third time getting this ask deleted, i don't think the universe wants my thoughts on fem grian out there :(

i don't even actually have any problem with this interpretation. it's just both very interesting and silly to me. there is a non-insignificant amount of fanwork that emphasizes grian as having a small, thin waist and general petite frame. nothing wrong with that, but deeply amusing as someone who generally doesn't see the c!lifers' human builds as significantly different from their irl counterparts. starting to suspect people don't share my love for middle-aged guys who look like middle-aged guys... maybe i watch too much british comedy.

ultimately i do agree that it's due to grian being more uke-viable than the other two in mumscarian. which is interesting, because you could argue that mumbo shares a lot of the same "effeminate" traits (higher-pitched voice, not a hulking brute force, sneaky and conniving, young, skinny?) which just proves the power of the Guy with Suit and Moustache branding. exceptions to this are when mumbo gets to have a nice long dress, but i still think the way grian gets feminized is different to that.

something else i find interesting is that grian's deception and manipulation (and power?) is sometimes the sole reason for his feminization getting pushed from generic twink to femboy/literal woman. which is something that i don't think i can do justice pontificating about. i mean this less in a "that's kind of misogynistic way" (well, sort of) and more like, ok what kind of psychosexual game of telephone is happening here. martyn or scott don't really get this treatment, despite (imo) both being valid contenders for evil womanification.

does any of this matter? absolutely not. men shipped in yaoi pairs will get interestingly gendered one way or another. it just so happens that a very specific domino effect lead to grian getting hit with the twinkification beam at a disproportional rate to the others. the only factor that is unique to grian in getting twinkified and feminized is the 3px skin. all others are shared (gremlin-ness, shortness, voice, cuteness, youth, being evil?, sneaky, manipulative) ergo it really is the 3px skin difference. thank you for your time.

also sorry if it seemed like i was assuming you were a grian fan, i legitimately wasn't lol i just sent it to you because of aforementioned gender mentions and you general Goodness in talking about fandom meta.

last thing i'll say is i mournfully agree with the menswear section. i do wish that we could combat more against the "men's fashion/design is boring" sentiment in general fandom. character involving menswear is such an untapped treasure trove that it's baffling to me. alas.

oh please don't worry I was just trying to clarify I wasn't knowledgeable on grian, I love discussions like this! I just didn't want to like. yap a whole bunch and then hit you with the "ok so I don't actually watch Grian all that much" (like I genuinely had completely forgotten about Mother Spore)

"psychosexual game of telephone" is very real and I think I'm going to adopt that into my vocabulary from now on. Scott's name being here is interesting because I actively try not to bring him up in every discussion nowadays, but I do think he is also feminized in fanon but in a way very different to Grian.

My Scott design at least I think you could make that argument for since I based alot of him off of my favourite pretty boys/bishounen, with the eyelashes visible and whatnot, but I tried to at least make it somewhat clear that he is a Man. He even kind of got hit with the detwinkification ray the more I drew him.

And idk fanon Scott is like. It's own brand of fascinating to me because I used to see a lot of people claim he was a "fem gay man" and I was like???????? is he???????????? I suppose his masculinity is a very queer brand of masculinity but it still very much reads as masculinity to me. Very "cis gay man" as he says himself. When I see the words "fem gay man" I am not imagining Scott Smajor, that much is for sure.

There's also just not that many Scott artists relative to the rest of the characters but what art I do see of him tends to lean either anime twink. Weight and body type is also a factor here I think is worth exploring but aughhhh shutting up about Scott. Point is I do think he gets his fair share of feminization but it's complicated with him cus you have to factor in him being The Gay One (and the associations people have with that) and his whole persona being very Cute 🌺

But yes yes anyway I do think Mumbo's moustache does him wonders, as does the CC's reputation for being a giant.

And while none of this Really matters I also don't think any of our lives Really matter and I think these trends are interesting so. We may as well have fun studying them. It's times like these where I wish I could have the brazen-ness to just yoink people's art and put them next to their takes about the character to really, really get in there but I'd feel rude 😔

FTR re the whole nothing wrong with it thing I agree! And you can look at this silly thing I drew for April Fools for my opinion on fanon designs and body types. I am a massive hypocrite in a lot of ways and I think sometimes you do just gotta break down the biases that make you view a certain set of traits a certain way and go. Wow okay that's interesting. and just kinda leave.

My Pearl design for example has some misogynistic implications -- hell, all of my designs for the women lifers are on the shorter side. My Pearl is shorter than my Bdubs and Joel who have entire gags surrounding them about being short! CC Pearl is very much not cute moe anime girl, I turned her character into cute moe anime girl. And I'd do it any day. Minus one point for me in the feminism and body positivity categories 😔 and I'd do it again.

It's whatever man. Humans have biases built on millions of years of history and people also have their own individual beliefs and preferences influenced by that history. and I think seeing that show through people's minecraft youtuber designs like little bits and pieces of worldviews is REALLY COOL. and while I'm also a biased human being who has my tastes I genuinely do think this is really fascinating.

Ok sorry this really got away from me can you tell I like this topic lmao. I just think it's really cool when you get unlimited perspectives on a certain set of traits applied onto a very interpretable design like a minecraft skin

Fist bump on the menswear btw. Makes me wanna draw that self-indulgent idea I had awhile back where I just use the lifers as my fashion dolls. Idk I just think Etho would kill in some Japanese techwear

[imliketheiceifreeze]

Human Miles Quaritch x Original character

American dream

She is a Polish girl in America Tall, tan, hot blonde called Anya I asked her 'Why would you wanna be a Hollywood wife?' "Because I don't wanna end up living in a dive on Vine A dive on Vine"

Warnings: Smut (and I mean pure filth), swearing, abuse of power, age gap, minors DNI

Short story (porn without plot)

4,841 words

It was late one evening in the RDA base, almost everyone had rotated back to earth by now, all of my squamates had been so cheerful as they wished me goodbye, talking of the parents, children, husbands that were waiting for them back home. That thought made me sigh as I took another generous gulp of my beer, it tasted like shit but was one of the only drinks at the bar and I wasn't planning on being sober tonight. The bar was almost empty aside from one other person who I noticed had also chosen to stay on pandora-my Colonel, Colonel Quaritch.

I wondered what his reasons were for staying, I knew my own, but the thought of him having no-one to go home to spiked an unusual feeling in my chest. I couldn't deny I had always been sweet on the Colonel-probably on account of my copious daddy issues-though, knowing this didn't make my feelings for him lessen any.

The room was already beginning to sway a little, to my delight, and as I looked around I noticed the Colonel getting to his feet- returning to his quarters most likely-meaning that I would be left completely alone, without even something to occupy my eyes. However, catching me off guard, his feet did not turn towards the door and instead moved him in close proximity with my table.

"Evening Anja."

It struck me that he hadn't addressed me with my title, I wasn't even aware that he knew my name.

"Colonel,"

I replied nodding as he took a seat in front of me, spreading his legs out in a dominant display as he leaned back, seeming surprisingly relaxed for the normally uptight man. He laughed a little at my use of his honorifics as he responded,

"you can call me Miles, we're off duty aren't we?"

His question had no real answer, yet I felt the need to reply to him, his presence still making me jumpy from the endless punishments he'd forced me and my comrades to endure.

"Yeah, I suppose so,"

I murmured thoughtfully, taking another sip of my drink as my eyes flitted over him much more shamelessly than I'd ever dare without some liquid courage. He seemed to mirror my movements, his lips quirked up at the sides ever so slightly.

"So, why are you still on Pandora Anja?"

My name slipped off his lips like honey, making me blush and turn away from his gaze, the steely blue eyes boring into mine much too intently for my liking.

"Don't have too much at home for me sir, no point wasting the trip to come straight back anyway,"

I spoke truthfully, feeling comfort in the fact that he was obviously in the same predicament. He hummed, eyes narrowing as he thought.

"what about you sir?"

I asked to break the silence that had fallen on us both, heart lurching a little when I met his eyes, suddenly realising how intimate the situation was.

"I thought I told you to call me Miles huh sweetcheeks, you don't need to be shy around me you know."

He chuckled, watching me curl into myself like a shrinking violet at his words.

"But to answer your question, there's no-one waiting for me at home either Anja."

An answer that should've been brimming with as much shame as my own, somehow seemed sultry when he said it, all kinds of implications swimming in his eyes as they scanned my blushing form.

"I'm sorry sir, you just make me nervous, you're a scary man you know."

I smiled shyly up at him with red tinged cheeks as I fiddled with the rim of my bottle, earning me a hiss as he drew in a quick breath.

"Don't give me those eyes darling,"

He scolded, eyes narrowed with an emotion I couldn't place, yet it caused my stomach to dive in fear....or excitement? I wasn't sure, but I found it impossible now to remove my eyes from his handsome face as I felt my body lean in.

"What do you mean sir?

I stuttered, taken aback by his words which were causing heat to spread through my body like wildfire.

"I think you know exactly what I mean Anja, don't think I don't notice the way you look at me in training as well. You think it's appropriate for you to be looking at a 50 year old man like that?"

He interrogated me with a harsh glare, the feeling of all my cards being ripped away from my chest causing my throat to close. I had thought I was more subtle with my feelings, but I couldn't help the way my eyes would drag along his toned arms, bulging chest, strong legs, especially when he was drenched in sweat and panting. Images flashed into my mind of all such situations he was referring to and I couldn't contain the small smile that graced my features. Unable to answer his question, I had unintentionally left him room to continue my humiliation.

"You know if you don't stop calling me sir I'm gonna start thinking it turns you on."

My breath hitched at his words as I watched him lean back, pleased with my reaction, spreading his legs further and taking another swig of his beer. I wondered if he was drunk, I'd never heard him speak like this before; however, I couldn't help but enjoy the attention, as heat crawled up my thighs, unable to meet his stare.

"I-I don't know what you mean sir, I look at you the same as anyone else,"

I spoke slowly, struggling to get any words out with my quickened breathing and dry throat.

"Oh really? Is that so, you look like that at Fike, Lyle, Mansk, Zdinarsk?"

He drawled, eyes glimmering with enjoyment, moving one foot forward he allowed his cargo-pant covered leg to brush against my own. It was only a small action but it elicited a shiver from my body, the heat from his thigh seeping into my own delightfully and doing nothing to quell the heat searing between my legs.

"No sir,"

I breathed in admission, finally deciding to meet his predatory gaze which didn't falter, showing me he didn't even need it, he already knew.

"Good girl,"

he rasped out, almost having me mewling like a bitch in heat at the nickname.

"Now, tell me, what's a pretty, young thing like you want with a man like me? Want me to hold your hand, give you special treatment, make you corporal someday?"

He asked intently, face too difficult to read for me to decipher if he was joking or not. Nevertheless, I humoured him with a response, although, somewhat offended that he thought I wanted to climb the ranks that way.

"No sir, that's not what I want."

My reply was harsh, causing him to chuckle at my intensity, however, this time he did not bite back, only staring with eyebrows quirked as he dared me to challenge him, fully utilising his interrogation abilities to play with me. Eventually, having weighed up the possibilities in my head, I decided to be truthful. He was still my Colonel after all and I knew he valued honesty. Taking one long breath, deep into my chest, I closed my eyes momentarily, praying to god that he wasn't about to kick me out of the corps for good before speaking boldly for once.

"I want you to fuck me Colonel."

It was his turn for his front to drop, choking on his beer with a laugh as surprise flashed across his face, quickly being replaced by a sultry gaze; he bit his lip harshly, letting it bounce out from between his lips as he looked me up and down, clearly envisioning my words.

"don't play with me girl,"

he growled, leaving the bemused façade behind, the effect I was having on him finally showing, and to my shock, he almost seemed to want me as much as I did him.

Not bothering to entertain the suggestion, I walked slowly to his side and leaned down to place one knee in the space between his legs, dubiously close to his crotch, before placing my hand against his rough cheek. My actions appeared to take him by surprise, still he wrapped his hands around my waist to steady me, eyes locked on mine in curiosity. Leaning down hurriedly, I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, revelling in the sensation of his mouth against my own, feeling his breath on my cheek as I pulled away with a shudder.

"I'm not playing about Colonel, I'm being serious. If you don't feel the same then just tell me and stop letting me make a fool out of myself."

I whispered nervously, eyes flicking between his own, heart beating harder out of my chest with each passing second.

Out of the blue, I felt myself being tugged forward, crashing into his hard chest and giving my legs no choice but to spread out to a kneel on either side of his thighs, hands grabbing onto his shoulders to steady me.

"Fuck, you're so damn irresistible,"

he groaned, taking heavy breaths through his nose and dipping his head down to kiss and suck at my neck, nipping occasionally. The sensations overwhelmed me, causing me to whine in his hold whilst my fingers dug into his shoulders, pressing myself impossibly closer to his body, wanting so much to move my hips rhythmically against his own.

"That's it baby, let me know how good it feels,"

he mumbled against my skin, which I was sure was littered with marks by now. I couldn't take it anymore, his words causing a wave of desire to crash over me and I was ashamed to admit, the excitement of the situation almost made me cum there and then on his thigh.

"Miles,"

I released another, higher pitched whine as I gave into my wishes, rolling my hips almost frantically over his, I felt as good as feral in that moment, knowing I would've let him lay me out on that table and fuck me then and there in the bar if he wanted to. I only stilled when he seized my hips in an iron grip, and I was actually able to get a good look at him. He looked just as dishevelled as I was sure I did, eyebrows furrowed, eyes almost pleading as he swallowed hard, closing them as if in pain,

"don't,"

he growled, slapping my arse hard enough to sting, making me yelp and jolt forward, surprised at myself for enjoying the feeling as much as I did.

"Don't do that,"

he reiterated, the low timbre of his voice making me moan shamelessly, glad to be alone in the bar because if anyone could see my desperate state, my reputation would never recover.

"I'm sorry sir,"

I whimpered, nuzzling my face into his neck, pressing my own kisses to his jugular needily.

"Look at you, such a whore for your Colonel. what would your comrades think if they could see you now Anja, all needy for my cock."

His words were turning me on more than I'd ever been in my life, making me so wet I thought it might have seeped through my pants as I choked down another moan.

"I wouldn't care, just please please,"

I virtually cried out, shivering pitifully in his arms. Having mercy on me, he hooked one finger under my chin, a grin plastered on his face as he cooed mockingly

"It's ok baby, is this what you need?"

thrusting his hips against mine, forcing my own hips to roll against him with his other hands, he surveyed my blissed out expression with dark eyes. Leaning in, he lead my head towards him, allowing me to connect my mouth with his and kissing me heatedly, one hand moving to my scalp, pulling lightly at the strands, seeming to have picked up on my masochistic tendencies. As I moaned into his mouth I gave him an opening to slip his tongue between my lips, moving it surprisingly sweetly against me.

Regrettably, he was a great kisser, gripping and touching me just right as his warm muscle massaged my mouth, letting my tongue explore him however I liked, it was only making it more difficult not to fall for him, imagining where else he could kiss to elicit even greater pleasure from me.

He was the one to pull away first, eyes blown wide as we watched the string of saliva connecting us snap at the distance.

"Sweetheart, I'm so close to bending you over this table right now,"

He grunted, shuffling his hips against me once more, I guessed his trousers were getting uncomfortable by now and I could feel his hardness straining against my ass every time he moved.

"that's okay, I don't mind, I'll do whatever you want sir,"

I replied, smiling up gently at the man through my lashes, hoping to crack his resolve enough for him to give in because I couldn't take his teasing any longer. His only response was another groan, head tilting back in frustration before I felt myself being picked up with one arm as Miles stood from his bench. I had no choice but to wrap my legs tightly around his waist, the stimulation of his broad chest bouncing against my clit with each step making me gasp. He walked fast, how he did when called to important meetings or to give someone a piece of his mind, this time however, his motivations were of an entirely different variety.

"Hang on tight darling,"

he teased in his gruff tone, releasing me with one arm to grapple with his door, unlocking it as swiftly as humanly possible, desperate to get me into his bed. And once we were both in, he marched me over to the neatly made bed in the middle of his room, lowering me onto it with a grunt, still keeping his body close to mine and crawling over me, until I was trapped with his arms either side of my head. I felt so powerless below him, below my colonel like this, it made me burn, my slick thighs only getting wetter as his hooded eyes pinned me.

"Is this what you wanted hmm? Laying tits up in my bed?"

He emphasised his point by massaging my breast in his hand as leant down to capture my lips again.

"Wait!"

I suddenly exclaimed, pushing him away by his broad shoulders, causing worry to spread across his face.

"I'm a virgin..."

I confessed shamefully, turning my head away so as not to meet his expression, I knew being a virgin at 25 was embarrassing and I didn't need him to tell me that.

"Anja,"

he breathed, moving my head with a firm grip on my jaw.

"Shit, I can't believe you've never been fucked by anyone, not ever? Not even Wainfleet? I see the way he follows you around like a lost puppy."

This made me giggle, pushing at his chest gently but only really as a ploy to feel the hard muscle beneath his shirt.

"Lyle doesn't want to have sex with me he's my friend,"

I replied humorously, Lyle called me an annoying, whiny child on far too many occasions to be accused of wanting to stick his dick inside of me.

"Oh baby, you're so naïve, I bet you don't even notice the way the rest of the squad looks at you, especially when you do all those fucking stretches in those tight little shorts."

He ground his hips against me as he talked and I could tell he enjoyed teasing me just a little too much.

"But I guess it doesn't matter does it sweetheart, cos this is all for me and I don't want you fucking any of them, understood?"

His grip on my jaw tightened as he waited for my reply, his words causing a fluttering feeling to well up in my stomach, the vaguely possessive sentiment untangling a kink I wasn't aware I had.

"Ah yes sir!"

I cried at the force of the slap he delivered to my upper thigh in the silence.

"Such a good girl isn't that right,"

he mumbled, attacking my neck as he slipped his hands underneath my shirt, lifting it gently over my head before reaching around me for the clasp of my bra, murmuring against my ear between kisses,

"Can I take this off?"

I nodded eagerly, and he ripped it off like a man starved, pawing at my breasts, flicking at my nipples to harden them, making me arch my back and moan in delight; even more so when he leaned his head down to take one into his mouth, swirling his tongue and sucking with expertise. I had never expected him to be such a passionate man, more of a quickie in a cupboard kind of guy, but he most certainly proved me wrong, seeming to love pushing me to the edge as much during sex as when he had me running laps in the field.

I moved my own hands under the shoulders of his tank top, quickly sending him the message that I wanted it off, to which he obliged. He was gorgeous underneath, muscular body showing years of hard work and dedication, littered with scars and a masculine dusting of hair on his chest. He was such a man, my body couldn't help but react to him, want him inside of me when I saw those bulging muscles and scars. I thought as I ran my hands up and down his beautiful form, luckily he was too engrossed with my tits to notice my dazed staring.

Eventually, his hands travelled down my stomach, tickling my skin with his fingertips, until he reached my belt, pulling blindly at the buckle as he kissed my lips once more. Frustrated with waiting, my hands joined his, yanking off my own belt and lifting my hips, almost begging him to rip off my trousers.

"So needy,"

he whispered against my lips before removing his body from mine, leaning back to sit on his heels making me sigh sadly at the loss of warmth. Soon enough though, he got to work removing my cargos, leaving me laying there in only my little lacy white panties, completely transparent with my juices. He sucked in a whistling breath at the sight of them.

"Jesus darling, almost a whole lake in there,"

chuckling darkly, he leaned down to run a finger over my core, as if in awe,

"I really turn you on that much?"

His words made my hole flutter as he hooked his thumbs in the band on my underwear, looking into my eyes as he pulled them down,

"You still ok?"

He asked urgently, wanting nothing more than to drive his fingers into my eager cunt, but knowing he had to restrain himself, especially since it was my first time, after all, he was my Colonel and he looked after his own.

"Yes, please Colonel, hurry up,"

I insisted, grabbing at one of his hands to bring it closer to me.

"Fuck, don't even need to make you beg,"

he mumbled, bringing his fingers to my dripping folds, parting my lower lips to expose the fluttering rim muscle.

"Just like a flower,"

he said smirking at me as he began to circle my clit with one finger, making me mewl, arching as I tried to grab at the pillows by my head. I almost choked on my own tongue when he finally, deliciously, slipped in his thick finger. Low, satisfied moans tumbled from my lips with every pump, feeling as though I may have expired if I had been left any longer without being filled. Adding a second, then a third, he hammered into me at a vigorous pace, the same I could imagine he would use with his cock, curling them up to hit that magical spot that had me seeing stars.

Looking up at him, I could see his expression, lip firmly between his teeth as he flicked between watching my reactions and my obscenely squelching pussy closely. I spied a wet patch on his cargos, that and the large tent giving away his excitement.

"Anja, I can't wait,"

he rushed out, letting me become privy to the distinct sounds of the clanking of a metal buckle along with a zipper dragging down. Before I could comprehend, he had his cock in his hand, fisting it vigorously, lining it up with my entrance and pushing the spongy head against me, slowly breaking into my warm cavern. The intrusion stung, but I somewhat enjoyed the feeling, especially with the vulgar faces the Colonel was giving me at the feeling of my insides.

"You're so tight sweetheart,"

he moaned, head falling backwards with jaw slack, pushing in little by little so as not to break me. He was so thick, I'd never had anything that size in me before, none of my dildos amounted to his length let alone thickness. But above all, the sensation that got me the most, was the pulsing heat spreading from his member through my walls, making me clench, my body already deciding to keep him inside.

With one last push he bottomed out, balls slapping my ass and he buckled forward, leaning on his elbows as he kissed at my jaw, waiting for my signal to move. I could feel all of him, his hard body above me, in me, it was overwhelming and I bucked up my hips aching for some friction to relieve the pressure.

"You ready sweetheart huh? ready for me to fuck you just like you wanted?"

He asked, leaving no room for answer, already having begun thrusting into me with swift, powerful strokes, having him hit that spot inside me with every collision, causing tears to brim in my eyes as I chanted his name like a mantra.

"Oh fuck baby, so fucking wet I can feel you dripping, you gonna gush on my cock angel?"

Nonsense streamed from his lips, speeding up with every word, making my mind go numb, only focused on the way he filled me to the brim, legs clenched around his waist, fingers dug into his hair, clinging on for dear life as he brought me closer and closer towards my petite mort.

"Colonel, please, make me cum,"

I sobbed, biting at his shoulder, but he didn't seem to mind, revelling in how he was ruining me more and more with each stroke.

"Always thought you were so polite and cute huh, but this is what you imagined every time you called me sir, that's fucking filthy baby."

He growled, balls slapping my cunt with increasing power, even without our voices, anyone walking past his quarters would easily be able to tell what the two of us were doing with only the sounds of our bodies.

"I know, I'm sorry sir, please punish me."

I wasn't sure where this side of me was coming from but the words flowed out of my mouth like lava, burning hot in my throat.

At this he stopped all together, pulling out completely as I lamented, although the view of his engorged cock, glistening with my slick was almost enough to make up for it.

"Turn around and get on your hands and knees,"

His gravelly voice commanded, causing my hairs to stand on end. I presented myself to him, a little shy at this new, exposed position, until I felt a slap on my ass, hard enough to leave a handprint. It had me arching my back and wailing euphoniously, leaving the Colonel almost no choice but to plunge into my weeping pussy, setting an equally merciless pace that caught me off guard, pushing my face into the bed below as he abused my twitching hole in time with harsh slaps delivered to either cheek. The mix of pleasure and pain caused the coil in my stomach to tighten tremendously, bringing me to the edge much faster than anticipated.

"Cumming,"

was all I managed to shout out before my walls were milking the Colonel. Yet the pressure still had not dissipated, not until he reached down to rub at my clit, causing an unfamiliar feeling, almost like the need to piss, flow over me, causing me to try to grab at his had to stop him. But to no avail because he was a man out of control, his only mission to bring us both to completion.

"That's it baby, I know you can do it, give me another one."

"augh-ah-ahhh,"

a choking moan, trailing off into a high pitched whine forced its way out of my body as the waves of pleasure finally came crashing down, making me go limp against the pillows as I felt my muscles contract violently, realising in horror that I was currently squirting all over my Colonel's chest, unable to stop, and forced to watch as more clear liquid shot out of me, all over him. I was thankful that he fucked me through it without hesitation, slapping my ass again as he murmured something unintelligible to my blissed out ears. I just lay there useless as he took his pleasure, one hand in my hair, the other against my spine, forcing me to arch against him before his hips finally stuttered.

"Such a good girl aren't you Anja, Colonel's good girl, yeah that's it, keep clenching that pretty pussy around my cock like you didn't already squirt all over it."

His words made me blush in the post orgasmic haze, suddenly realising how dirty he really was, not that it made me want him any less. Turning my head I looked into his eyes lazily,

"cum inside me Miles,"

it felt intimate to say, in spite of the fact that he could see everything from my asshole to my calloused feet from his position. It seemed to push him over the edge though, shouting my name as he came, giving me three hard thrusts before I felt it. Like a volcanic eruption, hot and pulsing inside me, god I wanted him to cum in me every day like this for the rest of my life, his breathing laboured, moaning softly as he did it, his face so scrunched with pleasure, he looked beautiful.

It took a few minutes for the fountain to cease, eventually able to open his eyes he took in my wrecked form below him, causing a chuckle to rise in his chest at the sight of what he'd done to me. He stroked my spine with one rough hand as he caught his breath, not having fucked that hard in years, he needed a few minutes to recover.

"You okay sweetheart?"

He asked, uncharacteristically sweetly, as he caressed my rib cage at the same time as he pulled his softening cock from my heat.

"I'm good Miles, thank you."

I wasn't sure why I was thanking him really, for fucking me? that seemed stupid, yet I was the one saying the words. It made him chuckle again, I was still so polite after everything.

Crashing down next to me, he pulled me into his chest with strong arms, seeming to want to bask in the afterglow as much as I did. And I took the opportunity to kiss his chest tenderly, running my fingers up and down through the light hair there, still a little in awe of his presence.

"Can I use your toilet?"

I broke the silence with my question, expecting a harsh glare or mocking remark, but receiving neither, only a soft gaze and nod of a head in the direction of the ensuite. Wriggling out of his hold, that he apparently didn't want to let me out of, I attempted to walk on shaky legs, almost falling multiple times as I hobbled to the toilet weakly, much to Miles' amusement.

Once I had finished, I wondered if he'd want me to leave, this was only a one night stand after all....

"Should I go then?"

I asked quietly, leaning on the doorframe for support, feeling the full weight of my nakedness under his stare.

"After all that you think I'm gonna kick you out? Come here before I change my mind"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance, pulling up the covers as an invitation, one which I accepted happily, snuggling into him for warmth, I told myself, as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, stroking at the skin of my stomach with his thumb, the feeling of his deep breathing and steady heartbeat helping to lull me to sleep.

I knew, deep down that I had fucked up, this man would be leading my squad on the next mission and many more to come. Yet in this moment I couldn't bring myself to care, focusing only on the feeling of his skin against mine as I hoped this wouldn't be the last time.

Taglist:

@ab-haya

@isabellekenway

@mechformers 

@lvangel98

@htnw004

@jayedillon

@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

[kentosbabes]

Eren blurb based on Paradise by Chase Atlantic. I would recommend listening while reading as I tried to match the lyrics to what was happening if that makes sense?!?!?! anyways I really enjoy writing these so hope you enjoy!!!

Eren who has been one of your close friends for over 3 years. He was your first friend when you joined the university, and introduced you to his group of friends. Your alluring and carefree nature was what drew him to you and he found himself unwinding whenever he was by your side. Your presence began being well-known on campus with a charismatic personality charming everyone.

Now he stands leaning on a wall at a house party watching you as you dance with your friends. He smiles admiring the way you don't care about if people are looking at you or if there are too many people, you just close your eyes and move your hips to the music indulging in the moment. Your relaxed aura also calms him as he admires you, feeling his soft gaze you look for him and open your arms, calling his name and telling him to join you. His soft hands intertwine with yours as you continue moving to the music, the sequins on your tight dress projecting onto the walls like you are the center of everything. Eren feels himself relaxing in your touch, all of his worries and care leaving his mind as he focuses on you. His gaze is filled with awe as you look at him with a glowing smile, moving the both of you to the music. "Relax Eren," you say pulling him closer to you and running your finger through his brown hair "Why are you so tense?". All he lets out in response is "I'm okay now I'm with you" reassuring you and allowing you to go back into your blissed-out state as you dance.

In that moment he realizes how much he would do for you to stay in that state of happiness. How he would make sure all the problems and issues in your life are gone so he can just watch you dance with not a care in the world. How he would do anything you asked of him if it would make you happy and how he would do it with no hesitation. Your words break him out of his own trance "I'm glad you're with me Eren", even with the loud music and people talking your words are soft and he can hear every sound that leaves your mouth.

Eren always asks himself why you pick all the wrong guys. The guys who mess with your heart and fuck you over leading you right back to crying on his shoulder. When you have a room full of guys who he's sure are infatuated with you as he is, who would treat you well like you are supposed to be. But you don't seem to mind the heartbreak moving on each time to some other jerk, the cycle repeating itself. As he looks at you he wonders if he could be the one to break that cycle, to show you a whole new meaning to life. Yet your eyes seemingly beg for more of the life you live, and it pulls Eren into you even more.

Eren finds himself sitting on the hood of his car later that night, sharing a blunt with you. You stare over at the city lights flashing in the distance be he finds himself staring at you and not able to look away. The second you say "I like being here and looking at the view with you Eren" he feels his heart ache for more. The way his name rolls off your tongue with ease and your eyes glisten with the city lights. He wrapped his jacket around your shoulders pulling you into his chest, allowing himself to relax with you by his side and watch the city lights. paradise

2 days after on Sunday night Eren finds himself thinking of you while he's in the shower. He can help but think about your lips on his, and how sweet you must taste. He knows how relaxed he gets as soon as you even touch him, so he can't help but think how he would feel skin-on-skin with you and how good you'd make him feel. Just as Eren gets out and wraps a towel around his waist his phone begins ringing. He smiles down looking at the image of you laying on his lap high out your mind that spreads across his screen. "hey ma" he says into the phone. "hey handsome" you reply your voice like honey "you free?".

2 hours later he sits with you straddling his lap, your lips attached in a wet kiss. Eren sits in pure pleasure as you suck and bite on his lip, he is quick to get addicted to the taste of you. Every time you pull away for a breath he's pulling you closer by your neck and waist. The sweet sounds you let out as you kiss down his neck and grind against him, has Eren practically cumming in his trousers. He knows to you this isn't what he wishes it was, it will be forgotten in weeks but in the moment he doesn't care. He allows himself to believe that you are all his and the feeling he has around you he will be able to feel forever. "feels so good Ren" you moan out as his fingers move through your folds, "don't stop". You'd hate to admit but in the moment you too feel the same, you feel the intimacy and tension you've you've not felt with anyone else. You wish you could stay with him and live in this moment forever but you know there's so much more to life and you cant stay no matter how much you want to.

But in the moment it's paradise and paradise isn't real.

Masterlist

[crystalmarred]

It must've come as a shock, the way Aven had been avoiding him. Even if there had been times when Aven had gone a few hours without being around D'lhen, half a week was surely very concerning.

Possibly even frightening. They hadn't gotten into a fight. They didn't argue, they had quite literally kissed each other just a few days ago. It wasn't a public display of avoidance, just. . . Not around. So when Aven had said: "I've been meaning to ask you something. . . Can you come to the Last Stand?"

. . . Did it leave a red flag?

He was pacing back and forth, a hand shoved close to his waist and quite nearly a finger in his mouth to chew. Relief spread across his face when the scholarly Miqo'te made his way over. Possibly at a speed Aven hadn't expected.

The Bard stood there looking out of his mind in worry, shuffling from foot to foot until he had the courage to look Lhen in the eyes. "Birdie. . . You have made me the most happiest I've ever been, since we met. I couldn't ask for anyone better. . ."

His hand reached up to thumb the other's face, a movement in a way he knew was a gesture Lhen found the most appealing.

"I — gosh. . . I don't want to mess this up. . ." Aven chuckled, eyes softening when he grew the courage to return the gaze, this time cupping the other at the cheek. "I want to take the next step. . . And walk with you to eternity. Will you bond with me?"

With a softened motion, Aven drew out a nice velvet case, a ring glimmering within, bright and illuminating. Aven couldn't craft, so entrusting D'tykha was the saddest excuse, but the engraving — one of Lhen's favorite quotes — pressed to the band.

— BASED ON CONVERSATION ;; ( @diademreigned )

The quiet had begun to get to D'lhen. Had this concerned anyone else, he would have been able to ignore it with ease, but the very real realization that it was his boyfriend of nearly a year.

It wasn't like A'aven had avoided him, exactly, but the quiet had left him with an impossible to ignore sense of dread that surely spelled doom for their relationship. It was certainly not the first time that he'd watched someone's interest in him dwindle.

So of course, it only came naturally that when Haven approached him and asked him to the Last Stand, D'lhen's thoughts moved to the absolute worst possibility.

"I... suppose," D'lhen had answered, the few words spoken slow and uncertain as he made his way to the appointed place. Part of him wished to move quickly, where the other wanted to drag his feet and find no answer to the question that had been burned into the edges of his lips for the past week with no way to force it from himself in the scarce few moments they shared.

What was it that had changed his mind? Had he been too technical, too smart about the wrong things and too dim about the right ones? His nature drove him to analyze and his contradictory condition bid him to agonize.

It resulted in an overthought, an inability to pursue of body the answer he wanted while his mind was consumed by precious little else. D'lhen had plucked a graying hair from his tail this morning and could not bring himself to care.

The way that Haven paced as D'lhen approached only provided more fuel for his anxious mind. Whatever had him so anxious? Surely a breakup wouldn't have had Aven so nervous?

And then came the words. They started off well enough, but blue eyes struggled to meet the familiar lavender ones when he made mention of how he could ask for no one one better.

But despite all the anxiety, despite the worry in his heart, it melts all the same when Aven reaches out to thumb at his cheek. Funny, how it always had that effect on him, even in moments of uncertainty like these...

"I don't want to mess this up..."

Mess it up...?

Now, D'lhen was confused. The sweet way he spoke, the way he worried about messing things up. No longer did this sound like an attempt to break up with him and now he was... a bit befuddled, truthfully.

"I want to take the next step. . . And walk with you to eternity. Will you bond with me?"

Wait... Hold a moment... Wait...

The velvet case came out, opened to a handcrafted ring of impressive quality. Words wrapped around the band, a familiar philosophical quote that D'lhen had pointed out to A'aven several times in the past, in relation to Sharlayan's status as an unbiased and unaffiliated keeper of knowledge.

But afore D'lhen could properly answered, a sigh of relief slipped from his lips as he crossed his arms.

"I thought you were breaking up with me, you..."

D'lhen tried his utmost to find words for A'aven, but little came to mind that fit the want for exasperation when the warmth that swelled in his chest replaced his mild irritation. He had had been so thoroughly convinced he had found then end with A'aven, that he had at last grown tired of D'lhen Tia as he knew most reasonably would.

But his Haven was far and away from a reasonable man, blessedly so.

Tears blossomed in that relief, crested the edges of his eyes as they spilled over, mixed with the glee, the happiness he found in that moment that he had never even put thought into, never considered beyond the rare moments old classmates would tell him they had recently been bonded themselves.

"Do you even need to ask? Truly?"

[biological-catastrophe]

its My Blog i answer all the asks if i want

honestly im doing this bc im mildly bored DFLSKJDF and dont have much time before band

1. Art programs you have but don't use

I draw using Procreate 99.9% of the time. But I also have Sketchbook, Pixel Studio, Rough Animator, and FlipaClip on my iPad. On my computer I have Paint Tool SAI and Krita.

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

Forward 100%, but left is easier then right.

3. What ideas come from when you were little

Animations, of any kind. I was really into animation memes back when I really was drawing and drew a shit ton, and I got a lot of inspo from that!

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

My Avali character, she's so pretty and smol but she is a PAIN to draw...

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

On here I only really post stuff with Zee I think ? But I usually post all serious art (so excluding doodles unless I'm really proud of them)

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

I don't know, I guess my dreams? Well I don't dream a lot, it's mostly nightmares, but sometimes I'll still get inspo. Also a lot of my older characters were based on my issues, such as self esteem issues, imposters syndrome, depression, etc etc.

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

Painting. I sometimes paint, only really for crafts though. It's not really my thing, but god some people are FANTASTIC.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

I've planned lots of little games I wanted to do with my OCs. I wouldn't really say I lost interest in the long term. I'd like to still do them someday, but right now I don't know. But I have a whole game with a mechanic thats based on karma and doing right and wrong..? I'm kinda excited, maybe in the future it will be good!

9. What are your file name conventions

I don't draw on my computer often, but usually its just '(character name)' and then a number, or a quick thing of the scene. But I have most OC art on my computer, properly sorted into files.

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

Scarves, which I only really learned drawing Zee (and one fanart I drew of Shin ljkdf). Also earrings if that counts

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

Youtube is usually what I listen to. My favorite is horror games.

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Head and hair (not the face lol just the head) and legs. I don't know why SDLKJ

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

I used to really admire Roxxie (@ RoxxieKitsune on twitter), and I've kinda fallen out but I still really admire her work and style

14. Any favorite motifs

I don't draw near enough to have one LJKDSF

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

Desk, home or at my dorm. Or in class if I'm that bored LDSKJDS but no I can't lay in bed and draw...

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

Uh I don't know...? I don't really think I'm good at anything LKJDSF

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

Not usually, but sometimes I'll have a snack like chips or some soda/water.

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

Ahahaha uh well. I mostly draw digital now, my drawing tablet for my computer has a bent charger but I fixed it enough to work LSDKJ. Also my iPad recently got a crack on the screen (it fell off the music stand at band D: ) and when I took art class last semester I broke a bit of smaller stuff like charcoal and pastels...

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

Flowers. I suck at them, but they're fun to draw! And galaxies, I've painted them before and they were fun.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

I kinda enjoy backgrounds? I'm picky and lazy but when I have the motivation I do enjoy it, and trying to make the actual focus of the art fit in the background.

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

I love how San Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk by Monet looks. In fact, I recreated it for an art project (we had to use pastels and only 3 colors plus black and white to recreate a famous painting. It was a lot of fun) and I just love the texture on it.

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

I stretch all my fingers and wrists. I don't know, I do the same thing before playing clarinet lkdjf

23. Do you use different layer modes

Oh all the god damn time. I LIVE for them. Overlay and Add are some of my favorites, but I tend to use Multiply the most

24. Do your references include stock images

Sometimes. Most of the time its like official photos taken for reference, or drawn references.

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

I don't know, I don't think my art has been compared to a lot..?

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

I mean once I drew the antagonist of my story and everyone I showed it to simped for them. Which, valid I guess, but damnljkdksl

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

Haha no I don't warm up... I don't draw enough anyways for it DSKLJ

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

I participated in artfight a few years ago! But thats about it... I think once I develop my art more I'd like to participate in zines

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

Honestly I get inspired from everything but I would say edits? Even if they may be seen as 'cringe' sometimes, I love the effort put into them. I've done similar things before and damn is it DIFFICULT, you have to appreciate it.

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

A few years ago I drew two pieces for goretober and honestly? I'm still really proud of them. One was for dissection and the other was for burn or something and the second one is really simple but I love it so much.

Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game

Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.

(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

3. What ideas come from when you were little

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

9. What are your file name conventions

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

12. Easiest part of body to draw

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

14. Any favorite motifs

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

23. Do you use different layer modes

24. Do your references include stock images

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

[spearxwind]

Oof I'm kinda scared to ask... Why do you not want to be an artist professionally?

Its just like, incredibly miserable in my experience.

Everyone wants their dream job of being paid to draw whatever the hell they want but 99% of the time you are hired and tasked to draw things that you don't have a lot of interest in, professionally speaking, and constantly getting your artistic efforts undermined by the rest of the team (this is esp. true in the videogame industry) artists always try to push for better designs and get their takes watered down for the sake of general public pleasing. Also you don't have a security blanket unless you're under long term contract. Most freelancers live gig to gig with the fear of not being able to support themselves if they don't take a job to take a break. Videogame and movie jobs arent stable because companies never keep the art teams, they are laid off and rehired whenever there is a new project

During my major, I drew nonstop for 4 years for class. Not always things I enjoyed, but also not always things I didnt like. In fact I enjoyed my major immensely! It was so fun. But the burnout is very, very real, and the workload was similar (even inferior to) regular art jobs. What happens if you like to draw in your off time? You spend your days making and pumping out art nonstop for hours, and then on your free time breaks you draw some more? I personally couldn't do it. I just wanted to do other things

And like.... I spent the first three years being told by teachers (people with stable, contract based jobs) how cool of a job it is to do art, and then the last year getting grilled on how insanely hard it is to make it out there. If you don't have connections, money, an audience, a studio, it's actually impossible. You need to be your own lawyer, abide by the very strict self employment rules that take a severe chunk out of your earnings. Do all of your finance/schedule/marketing etc while on top of that constantly producing work (I know there's people who can do it but, personally, I cannot) I really admire the people who were able to build themselves up as artists from the ground like this (because its definitely possible, just insanely hard)

Also, making something you love into your job ends up being miserable too. I experienced this with patreon, which I posted to as like a chill thing and it just got increasingly hard to make content for it or just post in general, even drawing my own ocs and sharing stuff about them started to feel like a chore.

Maybe it's just me though, this has just been my personal experience but yeah in general I realized I am immensely happier just keeping art as a hobby or its gonna suck my soul out (Since I already experienced it)

I don't mean to discourage anyone, I think the world in general needs more artists. But for that we would need to actually be taken seriously and valued, which sadly we are not, at all. And if there's anyone reading that is considering art as a job: it is absolutely grueling. It's not an easy job. Even if you desperately love art it can suck the life out of you and the joy for what you do

(As an extra sidenote. Artists are usually exploited using this mentality as well. That they are supposed to love their job. So they expect you to work your wrists off "For the passion". Dont fall victim to it)

[elvisabutler]

Give me angsttttttt with aus any prmpt u pick

giving me all the free range. oh anon you know not what you unleashed. so! this is mostly based on how austin at the last minute couldn't show up to kaia's 21st birthday party. only you know as much as i like kaia, we're definitely gonna use a reader. also thank you for requesting!!

angst, “i think you expect too much from me.” - austin butler ( see also: two in love can make it )

tw: talk of cheating, but no actual cheating. angst? talk of a break up?

you had known it was a hard ask and you told yourself you weren't going to be mad. you had told yourself that it didn't matter if austin wasn't at your birthday party that you could have fun with your friends and his friends and other people. you told yourself this.

you could have told yourself this until you were blue in the face but that wouldn't have changed the reality that you found yourself in. crying in a bathroom like you were a teenager. it wasn't fair, you thought, they didn't mind him leaving filming for his birthday. they didn't mind when you needed austin to come just to spend time with you but your birthday is where they drew the line.

"what do you mean you're not going to be able to come, aus?" you ask through your tears when you call him back on facetime.

his face falls when he sees how your face looks. your eyes are bloodshot and there's snot running down your nose and your eyes are puffy. he knows that means you've been crying for longer than you're ever going to admit. his arm that isn't holding the phone reflexively tries to move like he's going to give you a hug before remembering you aren't there with him and he isn't there with you.

"i- babe- they won't let me take the two days off. florence already has to deal with her promo stuff- as much of a mess as she seems to think it's going to be and just everyone else has already asked for those days. i literally couldn't fly out even for the night." he answers, unable to actually look at you as he does. he knows what you're gonna tell him- he knows the next words out of your mouth are gonna remind him how much of a bad boyfriend he is.

"you were supposed to ask at least a month ago! when you came by for your own birthday! did you forget my birthday?" your voice is shrill and it hurts both of your ears, stinging like the hurt you feel coursing through your veins at the idea that the man you've fallen so deeply in love with forgetting something as important as this.

"i-" he starts, unsure of how to explain this like there is an explanation that can soothe the hurt written all over your face. "i didn't forget i had it on the calendar and in my phone i just- time has slipped by, i barely remember what day it is between the training and the filming and visiting you-"

"oh so visiting me is a problem now?" you cut him off, latching onto that in your anger. "i mean i know how you can fix that. you can fix that one so easy, just break up with me, no need to visit me or remember my birthday."

"y/n! that's- are you fucking kidding me with that?" austin doesn't swear a lot, usually when his emotions are heightened and it's almost as if he's just feeding off of your own emotions, drawing on them to fuel his guilt. "i didn't say that. i'm just exhausted, you get that, don't you? i've been falling asleep in my makeup chair, on the phone with you, i even fell asleep talking to zendaya and flo last week. in the middle of a conversation about you."

"what was the conversation about? about how annoying i am?" that was uncalled for, and you know it but at this point you're picking a fight to try and rile austin up, make him as sad and frustrated as you are.

"i can't tell you what it was about." it's the truth and his eyes dart to the reason why on his dresser. you notice and your eyes narrow.

"who's there-" you shake your head and move to get up from your perch on your bathtub. "you know what, butler. no, i'm not doing this. i'm not going to be the pathetic person who gets cheated on by their boyfriend after he gets to enjoy a little more fame. seriously, i didn't even believe people when they said you cheated on vanessa but apparently-"

"i think you expect too much from me!" he shouts as soon as you mention him cheating on vanessa- which he's told you he never did. to throw that in his face after he begged to go home to you. to see you and hold you while you blew out candles for your birthday is an insult that finally makes him snap. "i am trying here. i get that you can't fly out, i get that. i have the means to do this more often than you. i'm not asking you to do that but i forgot how close we were to the day, darling. i didn't mean to."

"you don't forget your partner's birthday, aus!" you yell back, wanting to throw your phone on the ground. "that's the one thing you don't forget other than an anniversary!"

"you don't think i know that! christ, babe, i literally had plans to do something on your birthday and i can't do them now." his eyes drift to the box on his dresser once again and you notice once more.

"seriously who are you looking at?" you snarl holding the phone closer to your face like that will help you see this person. "just- break up with me if you're doing something like that. stop-"

"it's your present." he says too quickly and you know it's got to be a lie. austin never answers something that quickly. "i literally have jewelry for you on my dresser."

austin never gives you jewelry for any occasion he always says you're too picky and he'd rather you show him something while you're out together than chance surprising you.

"bullshit." you spit out. "you know what- hang up austin. i don't want to hear it. i really don't just- don't talk to me until i call you. if i do any time soon."

he looks at you and looks at the box once again before sighing. "fine. i'm- i'm too exhausted to fight with you baby. i'll- i love you. no matter what, you have to know that. it's all that i can give to you."

any other time you'd smile at him quoting that song but right now? all it inspires is you hanging up without saying it back leaving austin to stare at the ring box- your ring box on his dresser.

"fuck."

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Bonded.

Commissioned by the very lovely @concerned-cat-paws.

Pairing: Yandere!Hawks x Reader (BNHA).

Word Count: 0.7k.

TW: A/B/O Dynamics, Kidnapping, Implied Forced Marking, Slight Bondage, and Slight Manipulation.

Comm.s for Ukraine 💙💛

“C’mon, baby, you don’t gotta be like that.”

You didn’t stop thrashing. It wouldn’t help, you knew it wouldn’t help, but if you stopped fighting against the cuffs binding your wrists to the headboard, if you stopped screaming behind the cloth he’d stuffed into your mouth, he’d only get worse, more patronizing, less content to sit at your side, his chin propped up on his fist and a lazy smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and more eager to touch, to press himself against you, to take advantage of what he had, bound and gagged, in front of him. You knew Keigo. You knew your boyfr—

Your ex-boyfriend, you reminded yourself. You’d broken up with him. You’d tried to leave. He just…

He just hadn’t let you.

“What’s wrong? Don't like the handcuffs?” He asked, and you let out a string of muffled swears in response. Keigo only laughed, going on without waiting for a real answer. “I would’ve tried to find something more comfortable, if I had time, but you were getting ready to walk about, and you sounded so serious, and you just wouldn’t listen to me—” He cut himself off with another airy chuckle, letting his head lull to the side. “I didn’t have a lot of time. You get that, right? I had to do something.”

He didn’t. He didn’t have to do anything. That was the problem; he was always so overbearing, so clingy, so quick to assume that he knew best and if you disagreed, it was only because he hadn’t taught you any better, yet. He blamed it on his secondary sex, tried to say that alphas were naturally protective of their partners, but he’d never been protective, just controlling. Just domineering. Just suffocating to be around, after you realized how much he hated your friends, how often he went through your phone, how terrifying he could be when he thought he wasn’t going to get his way.

“I’m not gonna hurt you. No, no, that wouldn’t work. That wouldn’t help, and I really wanna help you.” Not that he cared. He’d never cared if you were scared of him, if you still loved him back, just that you were there, just that were close enough to hug and kiss and hold close when he didn’t feel steady, on his own. He wanted to have you, to have a mate, an omega soft enough and obedient enough stay by his side, even if it took a collar and a leash to keep you there.

“You just haven’t been with a good alpha, yet. You just don’t know how this is supposed to work.” He was still talking, still rambling. You couldn’t be surprised. He probably thought if he talked enough, if he managed to convince himself anything he was saying made sense, he’d be able to convince you, too. “I’m gonna be a good alpha to you, babydoll. I’m gonna be your alpha. You’re gonna be happy, and safe, and you’re gonna come around. You’re gonna see how a good alpha treats his mate.”

You made another sound, something caught between a muffled shout and a low whine, and after a few seconds of heavy thought, he reached up, slipping two fingers under your gag and dragging it down to your neck. You moved to scream, but he only shoved a palm over your mouth, silencing you before you had the chance to spit anything out. “Don’t be like that. I don’t want to be mean with you, but I’m not afraid to get a little rough with my precious little omega.”

He waited for you to try again, to bite at his palm. When you didn’t, he drew back, and you tried not to let your voice shake as you spoke to him. “I’m not your mate, Tamaki. Let me go before you do something you regret.”

“I'm not your mate yet.” His hand dropped to the base of your throat, currently unscarred, currently unmarked. “Your heat’s in a few days, right?”

Immediately, you went still. You opened your mouth, but he was already grinning, already falling onto the mattress next to you, an arm draped over your midriff and his face buried in your chest. “We’ll be happy together,” He muttered, more to himself than to you.

“And you’re never gonna think you can leave me again.”

[chocolatepot]

I definitely don't mean that because it was a half-made-up example off the top of my head!

Folk magic was a big part of everyday life, a lot of it more than nominally Christian in a way that doesn't really fit with our preconceptions about medieval Europe. John Bromyard recorded a charm for healing in the 14th century that was still said centuries later:

St Mary enchanted her son against the bite of elves and the bite of men, and she joined bone to bone, and blood to blood, and joint to joint, and so the boy recovered.

There's a thin line between charms and prayers, but churchmen of the period drew that line, mainly along the basis of how strong your certainty was. Asking God or a saint to heal you: just prayer, okay. Claiming your words could cause God/a saint to heal you, saying that the specific words of your prayer would be more likely to get God/a saint to heal you: that's magic, don't do it.

It was okay to say the Lord's Prayer while collecting medicinal herbs, but reciting anything else, no matter how religious it was, was considered an "incantation" and a use of magic to heal. Requests to saints for healing like these might be written down on parchment and worn in an amulet, again to more strongly encourage healing or protection, were also considered magical if a) they consisted of more than text from the gospels, b) were deliberately written at a specific time to be more powerful, or c) made promises like "whoever carries this will be protected etc."

Trials by ordeal, where a person was wounded and their innocence determined based on whether God let their wound get infected or started it on the healing process, was initially seen as religious, but eventually condemned as an attempt to practice magic by some. (Because it was forcing God to play a part with humanity.)

Belief in love charms of various kinds were strong, and the clergy tended to condemn them strongly for the harm they could cause. They took the form of incantations, wax effigies of the desired target, rings, and potions. Sometimes they were supposedly made with the eucharist, women cheeking the bread so they could do magic with it later. It could also be used in magic for making livestock more productive.

Anything that fell under the heading of "divination" was magical. Deciding not to start a journey because the stars weren't right or a rooster hadn't crowed yet was magic, doing a horoscope was magic, thinking an owl flying across your way was a good sign was magic. Essentially, trusting in what we'd now call superstitions about luck was magic.

Veneration of things in the natural world was magic. Leaving an offering at a fountain said to help women conceive - magic. Pouring a bit of wine on/building a cairn at a fork in the road to make sure your journey would go well - magic. Pre-Christian shrines in places like these were usually destroyed during conversion, but were also often built up again afterward as the belief in them persisted, even if filtered through Christianity.

When priests hid magic they were doing from their superiors, it was in part because they were indulging in folk practices that they were supposed to be suppressing, or at least spiritually above.

Further reading:

Magic and Religion in Medieval England by Catherine Ryder

The Rise of Magic in Early Medieval Europe by Valerie Irene Jane Flint

I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.

Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.

It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.

[dustbunny105]

Title: Ready or Not Fandom: Transformers IDW2 Ship: Arcee/Greenlight Word Count: 1000 Rating: PG Summary: Missing scene. Arcee and Greenlight prepare themselves to meet their new ward. A/N: For Femslash February and for the femslash100100 prompt “ready”! I'm finally allowed to post my piece for Femme Metale-- which I'll be doing shortly-- and it put me in a mood for more Arceenlight+Gauge :D Granted, Gauge is barely in this but still!

.

All of Cybertron seemed to be speaking at once, white noise dancing like static over Arcee's last functioning nerve. Her hands twitched for a weapon-- a blade, a blaster, anything at all that she could use. But, of course, no weapon would serve her here, now.

Her hands twitched again in spite of the thought and Greenlight caught one of them in one of her own, a better fit than any weapon ever had been. Maybe, Arcee thought, this was what she had been twitching for after all. She returned the grip and turned to find Greenlight smiling at her. Arcee felt herself relax but couldn't dredge up a smile of her own.

"It's alright to be nervous," Greenlight said, the murmur somehow cutting through the incessant background noise of the crowd. Her smile faltered and Arcee could see the flicker of a shadow beyond the love shining in the light of her optics. She hadn't known Brainstorm well but she had known him and the shock of his death-- his murder-- ran deep regardless. "Especially now."

"There was supposed to be more time," Arcee said, the words heavy with the topic she was speaking around. "I didn't expect--"

"Who did?" Greenlight's grip grew tighter, her face haunted. "Who could have?" She shook it off a moment later, leaning to press her forehead to Arcee's and reaching for Acree's other hand. If Arcee had been any less familiar with Greenlight's touch, she didn't think she'd have noticed the tremble. "But we're here now, one way or another. And soon," she tipped her head, and Arcee's with her, towards the platform at the base of the Pyramid, "she'll be here too." In a passable imitation of Proxima, she added, "'It always seems too soon until you've met them-- that's when you realize you couldn't have known them soon enough.'"

Arcee managed a dry huff of a laugh. "I've read the book, Greenlight." She shifted their grip so that she could hide her own tremors between Greenlight's fingers. "Which means I also read the part that says no plan survives first contact with the-- with your new ward." She nuzzled Greenlight and drew back to look at the stage. Orion Pax had raised his hands for attention so that he could begin his speech. It wouldn't be long now for their cue. "I don't understand how you're so calm."

She looked back in time to see Greenlight startle, as if nervousness hadn't occurred to her. "Well, I suppose it's because you're the newly assigned mentor here, not me-- I'm just here for moral support."

"What." Another laugh, this one higher than the last, found its way out of Arcee's vocalizer. "Greenlight, you're going to be as much of a mentor as I am."

The light of Greenlight's optics went pale and when she squeezed Arcee's hands again, she didn't seem to be offering comfort so much as asking for it. "I-- I suppose I didn't think about it that way--"

"We talked about this before I even applied."

"Yes, we-- but I just-- it--" Greenlight reset her vocalizer with an audible click and looked towards the still sealed door of the Pyramid with an almost desperate air. "It completely slipped my mind, I think. Like the memory file got buried under the-- all the excitement. You were the one whose application was selected, you were the one who got the call--"

"As if who I had beside me as a co-mentor didn't make any difference to my being accepted," said Arcee. She could feel a smile growing now as her spark danced in her chamber, spreading warmth throughout her frame. Greenlight's expression seemed to dance too; Arcee watched with no small fascination as Greenlight sped through what she suspected was every emotion she herself had felt since she'd been notified of her assignment.

Not for the first time in the last two kilocycles-- or even the last cycle, come to that-- Arcee found herself falling in love with her all over again.

"I'm going to be a mentor," Greenlight said as if in a daze. She turned that desperate look back on Arcee now. "Arcee, I'm about to be a mentor."

Arcee laughed, leaning back in to press their foreheads together again. A thought about the timing tickled her processor but she pushed it away, cast the light of the occasion against the shadow of the reason for it. Her new ward-- their new ward-- deserved a better welcome than that. She said, "We're about to be mentors."

Greenlight's expression smoothed back into a smile of her own, though her trembling was rather more obvious. "Together."

"As always," said Arcee, expression softening. She tugged on their joined hands and then shook them loose so that she could hold Greenlight close with a grip on her shoulders instead.

Hands falling to Arcee's waist, Greenlight nuzzled along Arcee's jaw to her audial and added, "As we were meant to be."

For a moment, they might as well have been the only two living beings on the planet. Then Orion Pax, booming and warm, announced them-- announced Arcee, at any rate, which was as good as announcing them both.

With a parting brush of lips, they separated and Arcee saw all of her own feelings, from her fear to her wonder, reflected in Greenlight's face. They joined hands again, intertwined fingers squeezing tight. Their plating sang as excitement made it shudder in rippling waves against their protoforms.

"That's us," Arcee said, laughing at herself as she did.

Grinning, Greenlight nudged her shoulder against Arcee's, urging her towards the stage. "Then let's go," she said. "Remember what Proxima says--"

"We can't meet her soon enough," said Arcee. She shook herself sharply and strode forward, tugging Greenlight along-- not that she needed to be tugged, really. Not once she saw-- and Arcee knew from her grip the minute she saw-- a lone little figure silhouetted by the light pouring now from the Pyramid doors. "Ready or not."

[melanielocke]

Thomas Lightwood and the six familiar cats - Part 1

This is based on a art by Cassandra Jean of Thomas and several cats. Don't take this too seriously, it's mainly supposed to be funny. There will be a few more parts but I'm not sure when.

Alastair hadn’t shown up for practice. Thomas wasn’t sure if he’d really expected him to. He’d thought maybe he had another chance with him, and perhaps training together might be a good place to start a conversation. An apology. Alastair might be disinterested in being a hero but he was deadly accurate with his spears and there was plenty Thomas could learn from him. Most importantly though, he wanted to talk to him. To see him.

Alastair must only have agreed to come to be polite. Although, why would Alastair do such a thing? He seemed like the kind of person to be honest about not being interested, snarky even. Instead, he’d agreed to come train with Thomas yet now there was no one to be found.

At first, Thomas thought he might be running late but after an hour of throwing his bolas by himself he had to admit to himself Alastair wasn’t coming. Before going home, Thomas stopped by the Devil Tavern in the hopes that his friends could take his mind off of his failed afternoon, but they weren’t there either. Where was everyone today? Never mind, best to go home. Thomas didn’t know who he was kidding, thinking Alastair would want anything to do with him after all he’d done. If only he could talk to him, say he was sorry. He guessed he now understood how he’d made Alastair feel all these months.

Just before he could open the door to his parent’s home, he heard something move. Thomas immediately drew a weapon, it was past nightfall and the creature could be a demon. Instead, a cat jumped out of the bushes, meowing. It was a long haired cat, black with some white. Persian or mixed Persian perhaps? It was one of those cats who naturally looked grumpy.

‘Hey there little guy,’ Thomas said, bending down to his knees. ‘Are you lost?’

He’d always liked animals. This cat reminded him a little of Church, who hated everyone, Thomas included. The animal took a step closer, and he checked if there was a collar or anything that could point to an owner, but there was nothing. Thomas carefully tried to pet the cat, letting it sniff his hand first before trying. The cat seemed to like his touch, didn’t back away and started purring softly.

‘I’m going to take you home and if we can’t find who you belong to, I’m going to keep you,’ Thomas decided.

The cat seemed to agree. Thomas picked up the cat, but it immediately started hissing and scratched him on the arm before Thomas could put him back down.

‘I’m sorry. You don’t like being picked up, that’s alright.’

Thomas opened the front door and stepped inside, watching the cat as it decided what to do. Then it jumped into the doorway inside, following Thomas inside the house.

‘How was training?’ his father asked as he entered the living room, followed closely by the cat.

‘Alastair didn’t show up.’

At that, the cat meowed.

‘Since when do we have a cat?’

‘Since now,’ Thomas said. ‘I found him outside, I couldn’t find any sign of who he might belong to, so for now I thought we can keep him. I think he likes me.’

‘We don’t have any cat food.’

‘I’ll shop for it tomorrow,’ Thomas promised. ‘And I’ll get him a nice bed and everything a cat might need.’

‘Alright,’ his father said, holding out his hand to the cat in an attempt to say hello.

The cat hissed at him instead before turning his attention back to Thomas. Perhaps this really was another Church. But it had to mean something that the cat wanted to be around Thomas, right?

Thomas curled up on the couch with a book after dinner, and the cat joined him, finding a comfortable position in his lap, trying to peek into the book with its head as if it was trying to read along with him.  It seemed like he would not be allowed to get up for some time.

‘That thing probably has worms,’ Eugenia pointed out.

The cat hissed in response and Thomas wondered if he understood what people around him were saying. This wasn’t some sort of warlock cat, was he?

‘I’ll take him to a vet,’ Thomas said. ‘Nothing we can do about that today.’

Since they didn’t have a litter box yet, Thomas let the cat outside in the backyard to pee and it only would when Thomas wasn’t looking at him. He wasn’t sure if that was typical cat behavior.

‘Let’s see if we can find you a nice place to sleep,’ Thomas said as he started making a bed made of some old pillows and blankets in his bedroom.

The cat was not so enthusiastic about this idea. Instead, he jumped onto Thomas’ bed and lay down there. He could only hope Eugenia was wrong and the cat did not have any parasites.

The next day, Thomas went into the city to buy everything he needed for his new cat. He still had to think of a name, but that would come in time. He’d taken the cat to a vet too, who’d told him he was in good health, young, and not chipped.

He wished he could tell his friends about his new pet, but he couldn’t find anyone. The Devil Tavern remained empty, and when he visited the Institute, Will told him he hadn’t seen Lucie at all. Will was under the impression they were all at Curzon street, but when Thomas rang the door the maid told him no one was home, and she didn’t know where everyone had gone.

At this point, he was starting to worry, and when uncle Gabriel told him Christopher wasn’t home either, Thomas was sure something was wrong. Last he visited Kensington Gardens, hoping at least Alastair would be home to help him figure this out. He didn’t know why Alastair hadn’t showed up yesterday, but Thomas wouldn’t hold it against him, he just needed help.

And he imagined Alastair might like his new cat. The animal was at home now, going to the vet had been enough excitement for him today, but perhaps he could tempt Alastair to come visit and meet him. Thomas imagined they would either like or hate each other. His cat was basically Alastair in cat shape.

When he rang the door, Sona opened, her infant in her arms. Rostam Carstairs had been born only a couple of weeks ago. Thomas had visited only once a couple of days ago, which was when he’d asked Alastair to come train with him. The two of them had barely spoken since the Sanctuary, but Alastair had agreed.

‘Good afternoon, Mrs. Carstairs, I was wondering if Alastair was home?’ he asked.

‘He went to train with you, yesterday, did he not? When he didn’t return, I assume he slept over at the Institute. I told him he should stay at the Institute when he left and spend more time around shadowhunters other than me and Rostam. He is a very devoted older brother, but I would be much happier if he spent time with his friends too.’

Thomas frowned. ‘Alastair didn’t come train. I assumed he’d changed his mind.’

Sona stepped back, shocked. ‘But then where is he?’

‘I’m going to find out, I promise,’ Thomas said. ‘Goodbye Mrs. Carstairs. Bye Rostam.’

He returned home anxious. At least his cat was still there, sitting in the window seal inside, hissing at something on the other side.

‘He’s been there for some time,’ Eugenia said. ‘I think he saw some other cats outside he didn’t like, but I’m not sure they’re still there.’

Thomas nodded. ‘I think that’s normal for cats. Anyway, I need your help. Alastair’s missing. No one’s seen James, Matthew, Christopher, Lucie or Cordelia since yesterday. I think something happened to them, but I have no clue where to even start.’

‘People are missing?’

Thomas recognized Grace’s voice. A couple of weeks ago, the Bridgestock family had kicked out Grace and she’d had no choice but to accept Thomas’ parents’ offer to come live with them. Thomas didn’t think Grace liked it much here, and he hated knowing what she’d done to James, but was it really her fault? He’d decided to be patient with her even if no one quite knew what to do with her. The silent brothers had managed to repress her gift, meaning she couldn’t use it until their treatment wore off.

‘Yes,’ Thomas said, repeating the names of everyone who was unaccounted for.

‘Sounds like the people my mother might go after,’ Grace said. ‘And she is still on the run.’

‘Do you think she might have killed them?’

‘Whatever suits her,’ Grace said. ‘She wants you all dead. But there’s no way to be sure until we find bodies.’

Tact was not Grace’s strong suit. Thomas told himself to be patient and not hold it against her, even if he very much wanted to yell at her.

‘Grace, Kamala and I can go on patrol tonight,’ Eugenia decided.

‘I can come too.’

‘A patrol of four draws too much attention. And I know how you are on patrol, and considering Alastair’s missing, he’s not going to save you from your own recklessness,’ Eugenia said. ‘Besides, someone needs to watch that little monster of yours, because he hates everyone except you and has already knocked over three glasses today. Well, he seems to tolerate Kamala, but that’s it.’

Thomas hated not being able to do anything in an emergency. He wished he could go on patrol too, and he was tempted to go by himself, but Eugenia had a point. A too big patrol group would only give itself away and his lonely patrols had been reckless. There was a good chance he’d only survived because Alastair had been there and the serial killer had decided attacking him was too dangerous.

Instead, he went to bed early that night, the cat following him and curling up against him. So far, the cat had let no one but Thomas touch him, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like with Alastair.

He wished Alastair were here with him. He wished he could tell him how sorry he was and that he would do anything to make Alastair happy.

‘You’re a lot like a friend of mine, you know,’ Thomas said to the cat and he looked up at him as he spoke.

‘His name’s Alastair,’ Thomas continued and the cat meowed at the name. ‘I’m not even sure I can call him a friend. I mean, I don’t exactly feel for him as I do for a friend and I’m not sure I’ve ever been a good friend to him anyway. I really messed up with him and now he’s missing so I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to make it right. But when he’s found and safe I’m going to tell him everything. Perhaps he’ll want to meet you too. I just love him so much and I’m terrified something happened to him.’

The cat had started purring, curled up against Thomas. He began to understand why Matthew was always talking to Oscar about everything. Even if he knew the cat didn’t understand a word he was saying, Thomas felt like he could talk to someone. He had told his family that he liked men, but nothing yet about Alastair, not when Thomas thought there wasn’t much of a chance they would ever work out. He hoped one day he could tell people. He hoped Alastair would be there for it, that he could introduce Alastair to his family as his partner.

After a long time, Thomas fell into a restless sleep. He woke up in the middle of the night when he heard people close the front door and he realized it had to be Eugenia, Kamala and Grace who were back from patrol. Thomas decided to get up and check if they had learnt anything, he wouldn’t sleep until he knew anyway.

He left his bedroom and found Eugenia in the corridor, still wearing her gear. She looked unharmed, and in the dim light Thomas couldn’t find any injuries, blood or ichor on her.

‘Did you find anything?’

‘There were no demons. At all. However, when we turned back, we ran into two more cats who just decided to follow us home. It’s weird, we couldn’t get rid of them, they just had to come inside with us. They’re sleeping on the couch downstairs now.’

‘That is weird,’ Thomas said. ‘I’ll try to introduce them to my cat tomorrow, but I’m not sure how well he gets along with other cats and it wouldn’t be good to force him to live with other cats he doesn’t get along with.’

‘No, I understand, but I guess they can stay for now,’ Eugenia said. ‘Also, Kamala has a theory. You notice how all your friends disappear and then random cats start showing up? Kamala thinks they have been turned into cats. We have three cats now.’

‘If Kamala’s right, there are three more cats out there somewhere.’

‘We need a warlock,’ Eugenia said. ‘And maybe the silent brothers. And we need to figure out which cat is who.’

Thomas nodded. ‘I think I know who my cat is.’

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @thefoxandthefound @life-through-the-eyes-of @styxdrawings @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @writeordie-4 @imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything

[apocalypseornaw]

Never Doubt Us

For @girl-next-door-writes make me feel bingo square "fairytale AU"

Sometimes the man isn't the knight in shining armor

How had you allowed your life to come to the point it had? With your commoner bloodline you never should have even known the Princes beyond their names. Thanks to the fact that your parents had been killed and left you in the care of their closest friend Sir Robert you’d been raised in the castle.

As children you’d played with Dean’s younger brother Sam. Dean didn’t play as much. He was stoic even at a young age especially when King John was around. It confused you as to why he would care if his son was to be allowed the simple privilege of being a child before he would have a kingdom placed on his shoulders but when you’d questioned it you’d been told to stay in a child’s place. Your friendship with both boys grew throughout your younger years.

As all of you grew and the Princes started to learn their own responsibilities you started to train with the other knights' sons despite being the other female in the bunch. Your prowess with a sword matched or outshone them by far, even gaining the attention of King John when he’d observe the training. You had no admiration for the king like the boys you trained with, you’d seen how cold he was towards his sons and knew that a measure of a king was how he was as a simple man as well. 

When he one day approached during training to question if you really thought a woman would be welcomed onto the royal guard you’d squared your shoulders and met his questioning gaze head on “King John would you rather someone on your guard who can deflect an arrow with her sword or would you prefer getting shot because you had a man at your side?” He’d laughed and had offered you a spot on Dean’s guard. You’d told him respectfully that you would only accept the offer if Dean was in agreement as well. You’d known he would you were friends with him as well as Sam even if you could never admit that to the king.

------

When you’d first been appointed on Dean’s guard there was of course some fallout. Men doubted a woman naturally. The first time King John had ordered Dean to go to a neighboring kingdom as an ambassador in an attempt to gain an ally he’d suggested leaving you behind. Dean had told him he would do no such thing.

On that trip you’d saved the princess of the neighboring kingdom from an assasitantion attempt, getting wounded in the process. It was also the first time you’d realized your feelings for your prince went so much deeper than friendship or even that of being his guard. Your only thought had been his safety even when the healers were patching your skin you’d asked of him. The moment the question fell from your lips it was as if those words summoned him. 

The doors leading into the room you were in burst open and Dean walked through followed by your fellow guardsmen Benjamin and Steven. When he saw you sitting up the anger in his bright green eyes quickly faded to concern “Are you well?” he asked and the healers quickly went over your injury then excused themselves Benjamin and Steven following suit.

You stood to dress considering you’d been forced to strip down to your underthings for your injuries to be treated. “The sword didn’t go very deep thankfully” you replied turning your back to him so you could slip your shirt over your head but when you flinched trying to get it on his hands had come to cover yours “We swam together as children. You’ve stood guard outside my baths I think it wouldn’t be indecent for me to help you dress” 

You turned to face him holding the shirt out. He took it but not before he let his fingertips trace the bandages on your side. “You secured the allyship single handedly” You forced a smile trying to look anywhere besides directly into his eyes. They were a shade of green that outshined any gem you’d even seen “At least my death would have held meaning had I met that fate” his hand moved from your side to cup your face forcing you to look him in the eye as he spoke “You being alive holds more meaning than any allyship ever would” you swallowed hard trying to push the feelings you’d developed for him down.

“Thank you” you whispered and he nodded then slowly moved his hand from your face “Let’s get you dressed then you’re off guard duty for the journey home” “Dean..” you started but he silenced you with a look “Are you arguing with your Prince?” the slight smirk that graced his face pulled a smile onto yours “Of course not” he nodded then gently slipped the shirt over your head tying it where it needed to be. 

The night after you were cleared by the healers to go back on full guard duty you were preparing to go to bed when a knock at your chamber door drew your attention. 

You crossed over to it and were surprised when Dean was standing on the other side. "Dean..I know you can out fight most of the royal guard but for my peace of mind I'd prefer you not wander the grounds alone especially after one of your guards thwarted an assassination attempt so recently" he smiled gently and looked almost sheepish which was by far not his usual demeanour "then would it be appropriate to ask that guard to accompany me for a walk under the moonlight?" 

You quickly schooled your features so your surprise wouldn't be as apparent "Of course. Let me pull my boots back on and we'll go" he stood just inside your chambers watching as you retrieved your boots and jacket. When you slid your arms into the sleeves of the coat he smiled "I see you are healing well"  you laughed "Ask Benjamin. I flipped him onto his back multiple times while we were sparring today" a flash of some emotion went through his eyes but it was gone as fast as it had appeared.

He motioned to the door so you walked out first and waited until he closed the door behind himself to ask "Is there a reason for this walk or did you simply crave some fresh air?"  He shrugged one shoulder "I think I craved the company more than anything" you tried to push down the flush of heat spreading through your face at his words.

You walked in silence next to him until the two of you were far out side the castle listening to the sound of a lone whippoorwill cutting through the night. 

"You seem to favor training with Benjamin" Dean spoke finally breaking the silence as the two of you neared the pond at the edge of the property. It was here Robert had taught the two of you and Sam how to swim. 

You walked over to sit at the base of the large tree that overlooked the water and Dean joined you his shoulder brushing against yours. Normally you would squabble over anyone being that close to you but this proximity with Dean was familiar enough to make your heart ache when you were reminded it would always simply be friendship. After a moment of thinking you replied "I suppose I do yes. I prefer being on duty with him as well. He's easy to talk to and was one of the first on the guard to welcome me instead of questioning me due to my being a woman" 

"He seems to favor you as well" you turned to look at Dean in the dim light of the moon and was shocked when you saw the twinge of jealousy his eyes held "Dean what are you saying?" "Do you have feelings for him?" 

You laughed more self deprecatingly than anything before responding "He's my friend and I trust him at my side in a fight but beyond friendship no I have no romantic feelings for him" Dean turned to look at you and you almost looked away due to the fact that this close a mere movement would have your lips touching "When you were hurt. I had no concern for the assassin or the princess. I wanted to be at your side. Steven and Benjamin both had to stop me and I still very nearly laid down pretenses of being a prince to get to you" you swallowed the emotions threatening to spill out so that you could ask "What do you mean?" 

You had a feeling but needed to hear the words for yourself, to know the way you felt about Dean was reciprocated. "I've fallen in love with you. Is there a chance you could feel the same" you were unaware you were crying until Dean gently wiped the tears from your cheeks as you spoke "I've loved you for years but you're destined to be king.." Your words were cut short by his lips finding yours. You gave into the kiss immediately melting against him. His hands moved to your waist pulling you into his lap as the two of you attempted to put every emotion you were feeling and had hidden into that one kiss.

When you finally broke away he rested his forehead against your neck "I have years before I have to become king. We can change things before then. If you want me, if you want this I would move the heavens for you" you laughed and gently touched his face pulling back so he'd be forced to look you in your eyes "I do not need the heavens and while I don't want to think about the future I do know that I've never felt as complete as I do right now" 

That first night you spent in Dean’s arms as he told you and showed you the love he had for you felt like heaven itself or the closest you’d ever get. Months passed and you were so close to being happy but then King John had taken ill. 

You’d known the day of King John's funeral that no matter how you felt about Dean that you couldn’t continue being with him. You stood at attention with Benjamin and Steven watching Dean welcome other royalty and noblemen and women. He was born for this, to be an extraordinary leader. You were born to be anything but. Had your parents survived you would've been married off in your teen years to whatever man asked your father first. 

Dean would need to take a wife, a queen to rule by his side and you could never fill that. You’d break your own heart before you’d risk him being hurt by loving you in any way.

------

That night Dean had come to your chamber. You knew he expected to be welcomed with open arms. You wanted nothing more than to spend the night wrapped up in him but knew it was up to you. He'd never accept you pulling away all at once but if you started slowly pulling away perhaps he'd lose some of the love he held for you then when the princesses from neighboring kingdoms started to come he'd give one of them an actual chance then your kingdom would have a ruler better than it had seen in years with him as king.

You answered the door in your dressing gown and saw the way his eyes ran across your body. It wasn't merely sexual. He looked relieved to see you and his eyes held so much love in them you nearly started crying from the task at hand. "I'm sorry Dean I just don't think it's proper for you to not be in your own chambers at this time. We have guests here in the castle and what if one of them comes looking for you?"

“Then come with me, please? It’s been a long day and I’d much rather fall asleep with you in my arms” “I am too tired to dress Dean and there’s too many prying eyes for you to be escorted to your chambers by one of your guards in a mere dressing gown”  “I am not concerned what they see, I love you and I want to be with you tonight” you closed your eyes and took a deep breath feeling your resolve waver but knowing it was for the best.

“I promise to join you tomorrow night my love” at your words a small smile slipped onto his face “I love you” you could feel yourself threatening to break even as you said in nearly a whisper “I love you” then watched him turn and walk away before shutting the door. You slid down it and it wasn’t until your legs hit the cool hard floor that reality hit you.

The man you’d grown up alongside, one of your best friends, the man you were in love with and wanted a future with was no longer yours to have. You allowed yourself a few moments to fall apart before pushing yourself to your feet. You needed rest and to plan how to get through the following weeks with your mental state intact.

You could feel eyes on you even as you spun out of Benjamin’s reach. Even when you sidestepped to dodge his next blow you knew he was watching. Dean had a way of making your body feel like it was on fire with just a look. You glanced up and spotted him standing with Sam, Robert and Queen Adelia who was no doubt visiting in an attempt to secure Dean choosing her daughter Princess Lysa.

You felt your feet go out from under you as Benjamin swept your legs out and when your back hit the dirt you flipped to catch him bringing him down as well. When you and Benjamin helped each other to your feet you realized Robert and Adelia were walking over with Dean and Sam trailing not too far behind. 

Robert introduced you and Benjamin by your name and rank you both held. You didn’t miss the look in Adelia’s eyes when she realized you held the same rank as the man standing next to you. “I heard about your woman guard, seems she made quite the impression amongst our allies” you smiled “Saving Princess Joanna from an assasination attempt did help” you saw a slight smirk grace both Dean and Sam’s faces as Adelia tried to rephrase her wording

“Oh dear that’s what I meant of course. Though why a girl as pretty as you would choose such a trade is beyond me” you brushed your legs off then shrugged one shoulder “It’s noble work. I’m protecting people I care about and my kingdom. Is that not much different than your position as a queen?”

“I suppose not dear” she smiled then winked at Benjamin “Who knows perhaps one of your fellow guardsmen will decide they want to make an honest woman of you” you had to remind yourself of your standing so instead of saying what you wanted you simply replied “I am quite honest enough all on my own. Now if you’ll excuse me Benjamin and I are due to the archery range to continue our training for the day”

You walked past Dean and saw the way his eyes tracked your movement. It had been a few weeks since King John’s passing and the pressure was getting more intense daily on him to choose a wife. You’d kept your word and had gone to him the night after John’s funeral but since then had nearly exhausted your list of reasons as to why you had gone from sharing a bed nightly with him to perhaps once a week if that.

You knew he was getting suspicious as to why and that it would eventually lead to him questioning you. You only hoped he had chosen a suitable wife by then.

------

Another week passed and you were walking with Benjamin and Steven across the grounds when you heard a noise that made your heart fall to your feet. It was Dean laughing.

Normally that would bring you joy but when you looked towards the sound to see him walking with Sam and Princess Lysa you felt sick. You knew she’d arrived the day before but this was your first time seeing her. She was beautiful. Her dress was made of the finest material,her dark hair styled perfectly. You watched the way she looked at Dean and had to suppress your anger. He belonged with someone like her, not you.

Unfortunately while Steven was oblivious to your actions Benjamin leaned closer and whispered “She’s not the type of queen he needs” you raised an eyebrow in question as to what he meant. 

He waved a hand around himself ignoring the fact that Steven had continued walking while the two of you were stopped “This kingdom needs a queen that matches Dean. Someone who will fight for the people, someone who is capable and has strength and warmth. Someone who can spill blood but comfort within moments of the other"

“And who might you have in mind because I’ve yet to meet a noblewoman like that” you questioned and he shook his head and continued walking leaving you to ponder if you were that obvious or if Benjamin was just that attuned to you and Dean.

------

You were headed to your chambers after a tiring day. You’d hear from too many of the castle staff that Lysa was extending her stay. There would be only one reason for that, a betrothal. You wanted to cry, scream or fight someone but this was what you’d wanted wasn’t it?

You were stuck inside your own head; you did not hear Benjamin calling your name until he touched your shoulder. You flinched despite yourself and he smiled warmly “Dean asked if you could come to his chambers, something of the journey to the northern isles?” That journey was still months away but instead of questioning it further you simply nodded “Yes I’ll stop by him”

Benjamin walked away so you took a shortcut that would get you across the castle without going by the guest area where Lysa would be staying. You doubted your ability to hold your tongue this late.

When you finally made it to Dean’s chambers you hesitated before knocking. The moment your knuckles hit the hard wood he opened the door and his smile made your heart skip. “If only I knew all it took was getting Benjamin to ask you here I would’ve done that two weeks ago” he stepped back to let you in so you took a few steps forward not going all the way into the room purposely giving a wide berth to the four poster bed that took up over half the room. You’d spent countless nights in it and now would be the last time your eyes graced it.

He stepped closer and despite knowing you shouldn’t you allowed him to pull you into his arms. You’d give yourself the memory of being held by him this last time. “I have to announce who I am choosing as queen within the week” you felt tears sting your eyes threatening to spill but you swallowed them down.

“Just know I hold no hard feelings Dean and I will cherish the time we had together” he pulled back from you and his face fell the moment he looked you in the eyes “What?” You smiled sadly “Dean we both know you have to choose a princess” “Says who?” “Tradition” your voice cracked on the word but you knew it was true, felt it to your core.

“I do not care about tradition, I care about you” he spoke, pulling you back into his arms. His mouth was warm on your neck when he spoke your name just above a whisper. His rough hands smoothing across your back sliding under the shirt you wore begging for access to more skin. “Please we will figure this out. I refuse to marry another when I know where my heart belongs” you closed your eyes to stow the flow of tears.

You owed it to him and to your kingdom to be strong. You loved him beyond anything that was why you had to stop this now he deserved a noblewoman, someone who came from a pure bloodline. Not someone like you who’d grown from a child being more familiar with a sword or a bow than a dress. “I will always love and I will protect you with my final breath but I’m not suited to be a queen. I’d never be accepted” you pulled away from him despite everything in you screaming to fall into his arms, into his bed.

You turned and quickly crossed the floor not looking back even as he called your name. As soon as you shut the heavy door to his chambers behind you that was when the tears started.

You stood at attention with the rest of the royal guard. You had not spoken a single word to anyone since the night in Dean’s chambers. You felt as if you had no words left within you. Today Dean would be announcing who he’d chosen as a wife. Princess Lysa was still staying in the castle so it appeared his decision was made.

When the bell sounded to gather all in attendance’s attention you looked up to see Robert standing at the raised part of the room which held the thrones during ceremonies. He met your eyes and his held nothing but sorrow. He knew your true heart and knew it was breaking but he also knew your strength. You would stand stoic while the man you loved announced his betrothal to another because it needed to happen. 

You watched as Dean and Sam joined Robert. Dean held your eyes for several moments before saying “I am expected to choose a wife, a queen for this kingdom. I am of two minds. One is the way my father raised me. He told me to put my duties first. My father would have chosen Princess Lysa for my bride” you swallowed hard when she stepped onto the platform next to him.

Benjamin looked towards you and you knew that was his silent way of asking if you would be alright. You gave a tight nod refusing to break even as Lysa moved to kiss Dean. He stepped away from her after whispering something that made her shoot a deadly glare your direction. 

He cleared his throat to settle the room when everyone started to speculate as to what was going on. “My father would have chosen Lysa for my bride but his father Henry my grandfather would have told me to listen to my heart. Sir Robert who’s watched me and my brother grow from small boys has always advised me that a strong king is a strong man. A strong man needs a strong woman in his life. I have long since given my heart to another and I do not intend to ever ask for it to be returned” he looked over at you and held his hand out. You took a deep breath but felt Benjamin's hand on your shoulder giving a gentle push.

Sam stepped off the platform to meet you halfway and held his arm out. You slipped your arm through it and allowed him to escort you despite the near deafening whispers being tossed about. Once you made it to the platform he gently put your hand into Dean’s who pulled you up next to him.

You watched Lysa storm off before turning your attention to Dean. He looked around the room then back at you “Tradition says I pick a noblewoman or princess. Before you, tradition says only men served the royal guard yet Princess Joanna is alive because of you. You came to live here at the castle when Sam and I were mere children, I’ve seen you stand your ground with my father. I’ve seen you go against enemies and do anything to protect those lucky enough to be loved by you. Over the years we formed a friendship and from there something so much more. I’m here today to ask will you do me the honor of being my queen?”

The entire room faded away. In that moment it was only you and him “Are you certain I’m who you want?” you asked and he nodded, taking the ring from Robert who held it out. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life” “Then yes” he slipped the ring onto your finger and pulled you into a kiss. Most of the room voiced their approval at his choice and when he pulled back he whispered “Never doubt us again please” “Never” you whispered then pulled him back for another kiss.

@girl-next-door-writes

[the-rhyme-witch]

"Dude, your girlfriend's an alien!"

"No, it's just a skin condition."

I sighed. Same crap, different day, but I'd thought better of Mateo. I hadn't thought he'd take a shot at Beck. Like me, he wasn't from around here, not from New Mexico, not even nearly. His folks were retired forces and he'd grown up a military brat, moving from state to state. He knew first hand how hurtful being an outsider could be. It's one of the reasons we'd become friends and that fact was holding my patience in check. Barely.

"Dude, seriously, there's something weird about her," he persisted, and my threadbare patience wavered. I carefully inhaled, held it and counted to three before exhaling to reply.

"Mateo. Dude. Buddy. How long have we been friends?"

"I can't even remember."

"It feels like a while, right? And do you remember me ever bitching about your girls?" I pulled a face and Mateo squirmed, as well he should -his last girlfriend was quite the specimen- but he met my eye.

"Dude, I saw your Beck in her bikini- don't hit me, I wasn't trying to look, the wind blew her wrap off! And those blueish patches go all over, it's not just the one on her face. That ain't no birthmark!" Mateo looked agitated. That wasn't what I wanted and it hurt more than I expected.

I guess that's my excuse for letting myself get sucked in, anyway.

"No! It's not a fucking birthmark!" I snarled. Mateo startled so badly he actually jumped a foot back but I found it hard to stop now I'd started. "It's a constant weight on her life! Do you think Beck doesn't know what people say about her? All her life, she isn't ever Beck first, she's that girl with the weird grey patches! She got taken into care as a baby, did you know that? People saw the blotches and assumed they were bruises and took her away from her family but they were just Beck! She's not an alien! She's got a godsdamned skin condition!"

I heard shouting. I think it was me. I stopped. Mateo was wide eyed and horrified. Gingerly, he put a hand on my bare shoulder, gripping my vest. It was a surprise. We didn't have a touchy feely relationship.

"Dude...buddy, I'm sorry. I was out of line," he said, carefully picking his words. "I wasn't trying to be a small-minded dickhead. It's this place, you know? All the damn conspiracy nuts. It's contagious." He paused awkwardly, pulling his hand from my shoulder to scratch his head, body language all over the place.

"What's it called?" he asked, bluntly, then cringed and softened his tone. "Beck's skin thing, I mean."

"I can't remember," I replied quietly. "Something something melanocyto something. It was supposed to be something she grew out of, she said."

Mateo seemed to accept that. I was glad.

I thought about Beck. She was the most gorgeous woman on the planet, as far as I was concerned, the perfect partner for me. Not in spite of her skin condition, but perhaps because of it. I had never understood the way people collect things like misprinted stamps until I met Beck. Now I understood. Different was special, it drew the eye, it was rare. I got it now.

I looked at Mateo. My friend. Average guy, light brown skin, dark hair, blue eyes. Smudge where he'd scratched his head. He was handsome enough. I sold UFO plastic crap with my friend in the day, our little wheeled store dragged to wherever the conspiracy nuts were parking their motorhomes to stare at the Roswell base this week, then spent my free time with my girlfriend. No one ever looked twice at me.

Except Mateo was. Then at his hand, greasy with paint from my shoulder. Then back at me. His eyes were widening and I saw realisation.

I took a deep breath and inhaled. Then exhaled.

"Whatever crap you are thinking, dude, drop it. Let's go sell tourists some crappy gray rubber."

Mateo breathed in. "Okay," he agreed.

I love that my kind can do that.

“Dude, your girlfriend’s an alien!” “No, it’s just a skin condition.”