#don't even ask how long it would take me to create that fucking beehive

[eslanes]

Lol I've been forcefully sent down memory lane, my friend sent me a pic from 2013 when we graduated with our social work degrees! I cropped out my classmates but this bitch! The eyebrows 😫 (legit these gen z kids do not understand that over-tweezed/skinny eyebrows will haunt them until the end of time - to this day I still have bald patches and I started growing my brows back in like 2016?)

Then I started thinking about my stint doing pin-up modelling and my unhinged obsession with my waist staying 24-25 inches (yes, fucking insane) and having perfect hair and makeup all the friggin time (my routine literally took 3 hours!!!) In retrospect I recognize that my relationship with myself was beyond fucked up, partially due to being an ugly, awkward goth kid (where I live we would be referred to as skullies) and my mother's unhealthy obsession with weight passed down to yours truly. I've spent years trying to unlearn this toxic shit but it still bums me out that I could not appreciate that I was hot af (or that my body wasn't broken). Anyway, the moral of the story is to love and appreciate yourself in your current state. That and it's funny to laugh at your questionable style choices of the past.

[talesofsonicasura]

Unappreciated Hunter

A Monster Hunter encounters Hat Kid and helps her out. Didn't know he was going to get dragged into her weird life.

Kokoto, the village of strong and tough Monster Hunters. The citizens can be quite pushy to traveling hunters and at higher levels when it revolves around ex guild hunters. Any hunter from Kokoto would judge and mock any fellow warrior 'not worth their salt'. Even the Felyne that runs the cafetine there is quite rude.

Yet, it was the only place to acquire certain materials or ingredients which is important for any that travels in monster infested lands. Items that couldn't be found anywhere else. After all it was also a popular merchant village, considering the village chief was a retired Legendary Hunter. Guess the high standards considering hunters was slightly justified.

"...And fuck you too! Go kiss a Congala's ass if that's how you treat your customers!" Angry swearing was also guaranteed as a white haired man stormed out of a shop in rage. Long silver locks tied into a wild ponytail, tannish skin balanced by lean yet rock hard muscle, eyes were a bright blue highlighted by black stripe outlines, and stood at an intimidating 7'2 in height.

His clothes consisted of a long beige winter coat with blue and red triangle patterned cuffs alongside large cotton ball looking buttons, beige long trousers with white puffy cuffs, black hiking boots made out of some sort of reptilian hide and white fur gloves. In his hand was a woven straw basket filled with fruit, cheeses, spices and herbs.

The man let an aggravated sigh before trying to cool his temper. "Come on Kahtal. Don't let that asshat get to you. Plus Nekona those need the ingredients and getting blacklisted from every shop went help." He or Kahtal said rubbing his hand against the side of his head. He took a deep breath and continued to the next vendor.

Well, he would if a soft sparkle of light hadn't grabbed his attention. This tinge of light was a mystifying soft blue and looked to be near the Hero Shrine by the village's oldest tree. Curiosity getting the best of him, he walked over to the odd phenomenon awarely ignorant to disapproving glances from some of the village hunters.

The Hero Shrine was essentially a tree that held the Hero's Shield and the stone before carrying the Hero's Blade. Weapons used by Kokoto's chief to defeat a powerful Elder Dragon known as Lao-Shan-Lung. What really got Kahtal's attention was what sat slightly embedded into the earth a bit far from the shrine.

This item looked like an hourglass, well a very weird hourglass. The glass was crystal clear that sparkled but held no sand in it, the rims that kept it together had two gold beads sandwiching a purple hat shaped and the soft glow that radiated from the very object. It was beautiful and incredibly well crafted from Kahtal's perspective.

"Who could make something like this and where's their owner?" Kahtal picked up the item carefully while speaking his thoughts to himself. One thing he did know was it looked to be very important and not the type of item to be trashed carelessly. Someone clearly lost it. His thoughts were interrupted by a soft 'Hey!'.

The young man looked down to see his leg was being tugged by a little girl. She had soft peach skin paired with curly brown hair in a back ponytail and topped with a purple top hat that had a gold ribbon, bright blue eyes and little nose. She wore a purple shirt with a light gold cape, white trousers and black little shoes. On her back was a light blue umbrella covered in stickers.

"Um, hi there. Sorry I didn't notice you." Kahtal said with a sheepish look on his face. The peculiar little girl let out a tiny giggle before nodding. She then pointed at the hourglass in his hand. The man took a glance at her hat and the hat beads on the hourglass. They were the exact same.

"Does this belong to you? I found it dugged a bit into the ground over there." He pointed at the little hole in the grass. The little girl nodded heavily with a polite smile on her face. Kahtal guessed she was a selective mute as the only word she spoke was 'Hey' in order to get his attention.

"Well, here you go. You're lucky I found it. I don't think any other passerby would have given it back." The young man handed the child the hourglass carefully as to not drop it. She took the peculiar item and hugged it before hugging his leg in appreciation. Kahtal let out a soft chuckle before patting her head.

"I must be going. My friend is waiting for me outside the village with these groceries. Take care." The little girl nodded at his words before whispering a soft quiet 'thank you'. Both went their separate ways and Kahtal's mood was much better after that.

The next time he saw the little girl or the fact he met her again at all was in the worst place a child should never be. There are places in this monster filled world that normal people aren't allowed to travel alone. Only ones who could were merchants, caravans and most highly monster hunters. Kahtal was the latter of this group.

A mission was sent to his personal home by a messenger Kinsect. The client wanted him to gather some Coal from an area known as the Volcanic Hollow. A large string of caverns found within a monstrous supervolcano. The intense heat in the deeper sections made it a cozy home for all sorts of deep dwelling monsters and perfect place to gather ores.

It looked like a simple quest but these types of missions usually had something dangerous causing problems in the background. A pretty accurate assumption to make as there was a Subquest at the bottom. An extra piece of mission that was optional for the Hunter but meant extra pay if taken.

This particular Subquest was asking for him to stop a Uragaan who was causing a ruckus down there. Uragaan also known as the Burst Hammer Wyvern, a large Brute Wyvern that can create powerful tremors by slamming its armored jaw into the ground and rolling over any foolish creature to aggravate it. Their diet consisting of ores made it dangerous for any miner who accidentally runs into one.

Gathering supplies to keep him properly cool in the hotter areas were necessary since having a heatstroke in a volcano was the worst way to go. Once preparations were made and gear was set, the hunter set off to Volcanic Hollow. Dealing with the Burst Hammer Wyvern was the first thing needed to be done before even thinking of digging for coal.

This definitely wasn't a place normal people should travel through. A simple thought of a little girl in purple strolling through the lava heated caverns. The interior of a volcano was less lava-y than any she had seen before. First spot to find after jumping down the mouth was a few small conjoining clifftops and some natural hot springs by them.

Only things other than two paths that didn't go deeper down and one that did were the strange green doggy faced creatures munching on whatever plants or mushrooms growing there. They gave her odd looks but just minded their business and continued to graze. Next spot had multiple small lava pools and two were branching paths with one that meant another big jump.

There were some mean reddish snake bird worm things that tried to bite or whack her with their tail. She clobbered them multiple times with her umbrella before they got the hint and ran. This time the child decided to take the side path instead of a large jump. Big mistake on her part.

The room was pretty with a huge amber column at the center that was in a beehive like formation and more smaller red ones that added extra support. Bright sapphire blue crystals and ruby red crystals sticking from the ground in a roundish rectangular form. If only she noticed that the odd growing gold stone on the ground was a monster's tail.

"Aaaaaaah!!!" Echoed the screams of a little girl through a mountainous deep section of the volcano. Tiny stream of water pouring down the cliffs to the large molten ground below shook with the tremors of heavy footsteps. The little purple hatted girl ran across the reddish dirt as a large beast followed her relentlessly.

It was a large reptilian creature that could honestly be mistaken as a dinosaur from the powerful looking legs but underdeveloped tiny arms. Its face was round dark brownish scaled except for its huge orangish color jaw, from its head to the very long rounded tail were large flat topped amber crystals that were positioned in the way tires are to leave tracks, thick muscled legs with sharp claws and bright green eyes that burned with rage.

The 25 ft tall brute looked a bit beaten up but the little girl would admit personally that she had nothing to do with it. Of course it didn't matter since the lizard monster was still angry and probably cranky for her poking its tail with an UMBRELLA. If she ever got out of here alive, she would never come back...maybe.

The giant then let out a painted cry as the ground shook hard nearly making the child lose her footing. She flipped around to understand what happened. Giant lizard thing had been slammed to the ground by someone covered in armor and holding what looked to be a sword and shield. The shield part slammed into the mean beast's head.

The armor was a bright crimson with light summer colors such as orange and gold fitted to its feudal samurai look. Chest plate had an orange triangle coming from the bottom as it pointed to two cogs on the separate sides that were connected by a thick white rope, a giant red cape with big fancy and fluffy gold rims, red shield shaped plates covering a gold rim red skilt, red armor gauntlets and boots but the cool thing was the mask.

It was faceless with eye slots but large red horns that went back and curved at the end but also orange along with a large white mane that was in the back. The shield was lustrous ruby with a gold wheel on the surface and a cog with two golden hour hands at the center. And the sword had a crystalline blade that started before ending in a reddish violet at tip and punk looking half gold claw hilt to a silver handle.

Eyes from the helmet looked at her before the masked man pulled his helmet a bit to show Kahtal's face. "You're the little girl I met in Kokoto! How did you get into the Volcanic Hollow?!" He cut off his words when the monster or Uragaan began to move underneath him. The man bashed the beast's head with his shield before getting into its face.

It immediately flinched upon the pair of eyes glaring back into its own. They weren't of a man but of a beast. Bigger, meaner and absolutely powerful. The glare of an Alpha. "You better stay down and don't try anything. So much as harm a hair on that little girl's head then consider your life forfeit. Now sit!" Voice was heavy as steel and the tone brimming with pure dominance.

Uragaan shivered violently before seating itself to the floor once Kahtal stepped off the beast's head. He gave the large brute a glance before sheathing both his blade and shield onto his back. Then the silverette turned to the most impossible thing to run around in a volcano. The little girl who had looks of awe in her eyes now lost it upon the look she was getting from the hunter.

"What are you doing here? This isn't a safe place for people much less little girls. Especially ones that somehow managed to have a Uragaan chase them. The species isn't called Burst Hammer Wyvern for no reason." Kahtal spoke pointing at the specific cowering dragon behind him.

"I wanted to see you! You gave me my Time Piece back so I thought you wanted to be my friend! And I got here from my ship since it said you were somewhere around here." There was a bunch of childish pep and cheer to her voice like it was natural despite the guilty look on her face. Or the fact she was nervously poking her fingers together.

Now he had a lot of questions but knew that the inside of a volcano wasn't the place to discuss it. "Let's talk about it once we're back at the camp on top of the volcano. And you!" The Burst Hammer Wyvern flinched upon Kahtal pointing his finger at the beast. It was still scared at the much smaller human man.

"You are being relocated to an island unreachable to human civilization. A winged companion of mine will be picking you up so stay put! Behave then I'll forget about you trying to trample a little girl and maybe add in some yummier ores than the ones down here." The knowledge of the alpha human forgiving him, a new home and chance of a tasty treat had the Uragaan positively complacent with his current position.

Kahtal took out what looked to be a signal gun before firing a green smoke round into the air. The flare spilling green smoke out into the volcano's entrance paired with a lime like scent. Once that flare was shot, Kahtal picked up the little girl and hoisted her on his back. He then took off ignoring the sound of large flapping wings or the sound of shock in the other room that he left the Uragaan in.

The volcano top had a small makeshift camp settled a good space from the mouth to the heated mountain. A simple tent that provided cover from the sun for a large mattress, two large crates with one blue and the other red, and a few makeshift fence blockades. Kahtal was now looking at the little child with a ludicrous look.

"So your name is Hat Kid, and you're an alien refugee from another world. You came here because a Timepiece, which is the fuel for your ship somehow crashlands in Kokoto village. After I returned it to you, you tried to find me again so I can be your friend and hangout with you." The hunter questioned while holding his helmet in his right hand.

The little girl or Hat Kid sat on the queen sized mattress next to Kahtal while she told him her tale. She was nodding at every inquiry he had got from the hat wearing child. "Normally I treat that kind of stuff as Congala crap if I haven't taken in consideration the evidence. A glowing hourglass with no sand isn't normal, a little girl managing to get into a place that is blacklisted to Low Rank Hunters or the fact you got to one of the deepest levels, and NOT die from lethal heatstroke."

Hat Kid looked a bit sheepish when he brought back her little volcano adventure but was glad he did believe her. Kahtal then stood up from the bed and looked at the alien child. "My friend is taking the Uragaan to a new habitat and won't be back for an hour. Might as well take me to your ship." He did think her insane attempt to find him should at least be rewarded...only this one time.

A big smile grew on her face before she ran over and took his free hand immediately. The older man would admit he didn't expect the both of them to float before shooting off into the sky. They were going up so fast that he saw the darkness of space and the shining stars. And like a light switch, Kahtal wasn't outside the volcano but now in a little girl's very odd bedroom.

The odd things being the sea of pillows a good distance from the bed, lights on the ceiling, glass screen viewing the vacuum of space, odd candles that sit by said pit or the giant burnt noodle reading at the top of the staircase by said pillow sea. "Hey! I heard that!" A sheepish look crossed his face. The last part he accidentally spoke out loud.

The offended noodle had a glowing yellow face found on children's jack o' lanterns: circular eyes and the big childish mouth with two fangs, a mane of dark purple that was the same color as his body, spindly arms that ended with two finger ovenmitts that clearly was hiding claws and a long spindly tail making his height around 20 ft long.

"You know kiddo I don't know what's worse. The fact you brought a pecking knight of all things on board or the fact he was rude to me: the all handsome, powerful and soul eating, Snatcher! It's also really rude to insult the dead." The now named specter or Snatcher said while his last bit was deadpan unlike the bolster before in his distorted echo voice.

Kathal's response to this was a raised eyebrow. "First off, I didn't mean to say that out loud so sorry for that. Second, why tell me that you are a soul eating ghost when I'm a 'knight' to you. And third, the proper term is Monster Hunter not Monster Slayer. Unless your causing trouble on my planet that make people send out a request to hunt you, then I won't stab you with my blade and relocate your hide." The mortal man listed with his fingers and pure nonchalance.

The ghost set aside his book so he wouldn't lose in the sea of bed material before slithering over to the armored man. Size difference between them was now clearer than before but Kahtal still had a passive look on his face. "And don't you have quite a snarky side to ya, kiddo." Snatcher chuckles while Kahtal glared back.

"The name is Kahtal Shinsu and I'm a 32 year old man. I am definitely not a kid because last I checked, children don't have an 7'2 body with an eight pack." The silverette's rebuttal didn't make the ghost's smile go away. It only made it more mischievous looking as the 20 ft noodle laughed.

"And I'm over 300 years old which makes ya a mere baby in comparison. An eight pack huh? Definitely the type of muscle for some dirty work back in my forest!" Snatcher said while placing an arm around the hunter's shoulder in a 'buddy' manner. Hat Kid then tugged on his leg for giving him an inquisitive look.

The 'What were you doing' look obviously wanting to know why he was in the Volcanic Hollow in the first place. "I had a job there. My client wanted me to gather 30 pieces of coal from the volcano. There was a bonus quest to deal with that Uragaan who was chasing my hatted companion here." Spotting what looked to be a chalkboard, Kahtal strolled over to it.

Taking a piece of chalk, he sketched out a fully detailed picture of the mentioned Burst Hammer Wyvern minus the injuries from before, all in the span of a minute and the word Uragaan next to it. Snatcher floated over and looked at the image with interest. "Sure looks like quite a brute! No wonder the kiddo looked ready to drop. Gave her a run for her money! Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" He then looked at Kahtal.

"This was also an extra part of the current job description? That makes you an even better contractor for me to hire! Honestly there is some work in my domain that needs a more refined touch than Hat Brat there. She has a habit of making quite the mess." The little girl in question gave him a raspberry.

"Well, you'll need to have a request paper ready. Usually I have a Kinsect deliver me jobs to my home since I'm more of a freelance hunter." Kahtal then drew at the bottom of the board a peculiar bug of sorts. It looked like a scarab but the wings and size were wrong.

"Really now? I don't know where you live but I can mark it down if you take this back." The man didn't expect for the ghost's hand to ignite in blue fire. Or that fire to form a dark purple version of what the kinsect he drew but had the same jack o' lantern smile Snatcher has on their wings. Kahtal would mark it to be creation magic.

"This Kinsnatch here will be delivering any jobs I have for ya. And a bit more." The last bit was a whisper before Snatcher put the magic made insect in the hunter's hands. He looked at the odd insect and immediately knew this was going to be trouble.

Lucky thing was he got dropped off the same place he was before allowing his own alien abduction. And his current ride had just returned. Bad news was how damn aggravating that purple ghost was going to be in the future.

Hey everyone! Sorry not updating the blog for quite a bit. Life is crazy and honestly been trying to handle with some changes to my home.

This story is an experimental crossover using Monster Hunter and A Hat in Time. I wanted to try my hand at writing a Monster Hunter fic but also wanted that kind of vibe you get exploring in different chapters like you do for a A Hat In Time.

Hope you guys enjoyed it! Stay safe and healthy folks!

This is the armor used and the monster Uragaan!