#don't come for my choices I was a child who loved fun fantasy direct to video moives

[safari-jowes-internet-safari]

Come with me to a magical place.... Blockbuster Video circa 2005-2010

Photos to spark your memory under the cut

[owlsbride]

Icha Icha and Prejudice: The Book Club

Chapter V: A Suitable Marriage

"So…" Sakura answered, arriving at an obvious conclusion observing her cup of sake "now you have to go all way to Suna to solve Naruto's mess."

"Yes," Kakashi nodded, looking at the empty space behind her "I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but it's my job after all." He concluded finally directing his gaze to Sakura to look at her big furious green eyes. He suppressed an inner smile.

"But why? Why don't you send Naruto back again? He was the one that asked the Kazekage an extra train program to be a better Hokage" Sakura started annoyed "And Gaara accepted. What was he thinking? Besides, they both made this mess together."

It was infuriating. Gaara, the most collect man she has ever known, all so stoic, silently analyzing everything around him with his sharp mind. Separated from the world, absorbed in his thoughts with his celestial eyes always directed to the horizon, protecting his village. She couldn't understand it.

"Maa, Sa Ku Ra, calm down" Kakashi spoke with his soft tone, guessing what was going on inside her mind "Gaara may be the Kazekage, and a great one, by the way, a fine young man, but inside he's still a child. I think he's still trying to figure out what human relationships are all about, and when being too friendly or solicitous is too much. I guess he couldn't say no to a friend." There was so much tenderness in his words that Sakura sighed leaning back in her chair a little less angry.

"God, he's worst than Sai." Sakura agreed finally most to herself than to Kakashi thinking about the problems that the young man with black hair suffered and caused due to his lack of social empathy.

"Trust me Sakura, if I were to choose between them both..." Kakashi left the phrase hanging. He was not mad at the Kazekage nor Naruto, he was just tired and resigned with the last one. Naruto would never really change.

"Still..." Sakura began again "I don't know why you can not solve this problem from here. Was it that bad?

"You couldn't just start to imagine."

"But this weather..." She was less angry but pushier now.

"If I didn't know you better, I would think you don't want to let me go, Sakura" he spoke in such a suggestive way that Sakura trembled under his gaze "but I'm sure is not the case, right?"

"Of course not Hokage Sama" she was blushing, a lot "I'm just worried about the security of our leader." Sakura finally answered, wrinkling her nose. Kakashi laughed at her face.

"Relax Sakura, I'm not just an old useless politician".

"I guess you are right... you are not a politician" Sakura said, sticking out her tone.

"Careful Sa Ku Ra, the cat may eat your tongue someday" Kakashi answered her with a deep dark tone licking his own lips, or at least that's what she believed. Again the warm feeling forming in her low stomach, now she was sure, it was not her chakra.

"Yeah... anyway..." she tried to hide her excitement and shame at once adopting a much more professional stance, "I think I should go with you." She finished crossing her arms on the table.

"And that could be because...?" Kakashi leaned back on his chair taking distance from Sakura, eyeing her suspiciously, he had seen this coming. He knew that Sakura was going to ask her to go with him.

"I think it's pretty obvious Sensei." He hated the honorifics, but he just stopped fighting it a long ago with Sakura. It was just a mannerism, a way of speaking, not particularly a sign of respect or distance. It was merely their ways, and it was ok, strange and alluring at times, but ok.

"Go on..."

"I believe that the company of a nin doctor in this weird mission of yours, trying to recover Suna from the Tsunami named Naruto, could be of much help." She finished matter of factly.

"For what? a heatstroke?" Kakashi wasn't going to fall in her charms.

"Stop mocking me, Sensei" Sakura pouted. Now she was feeling hurt.

"I'm not mocking you." He smiled. She was cute sometimes. "I'm just saying that there are no risks in my short journey to Suna. It's a safe trip. Only three days and I'll be back; besides, you forget something."

"What?" Sakura asked in confusion

"You are on vacations."

"Yes, a vacation I didn't request for." It was evident that she still felt horrible about that decision.

"And yet, here we are. Having dinner in your second night of" Kakashi said raising his cup, even if he was not going to drink it with Sakura watching straight to his face.

"I guess..." Sakura did drink her sake and started again with all the Suna issue "So, you are going alone? Who is going to be encharged during these days?"

"I asked an old friend to help me here. Luckily she said yes. Having you not accepting the recess and Naruto trying to put his last training in practice is too much of a danger to leave the village alone. And no, I'm not travelling by myself" Kakashi gave her a wink.

"Hey! I'm not that bad. I'm not going to break the rules Hokage Sama". Sakura was starting to feel offended. She was not a girl anymore. He had to stop seeing her like one "I'm not a gir..."

"A girl. You are not a girl anymore." Kakashi finished for her "I'm well aware of that". Eyes darker.

"So, Who is this friend of yours and with who are you travelling with?" Sakura asked incredulously. She didn't know Kakashi had friends except for Guy Sensei and Genma, (who were definitely not suitable for cover him in these three days) less a woman. Why was she a bit jealous, and why was Kakashi noticing it? He laughed a true-hearted laugh.

"Easy Sakura, Lady Tsunade is going to take my place these days, I think she is more than capable, don't you agree? He was genuinely asking her opinion.

"Wow!" Sakura said in surprise "She must really love you like to say yes."

"Doesn't everyone love me? He was such a Drama Queen. "And about the travelling arrangements, I'm going with Shikamaru."

"Well..." Sakura pondered "Shikamaru is really capable, and he is your advisor. I think he is the most suitable for the job." Sakura concluded.

"Yes," Kakashi stated. "though, I think he has his personal agenda on this journey."

"Oh... You mean..." Sakura didn't want to talk more words than necessary. She didn't know how much information Kakashi had about Temari and Shikamaru's relationship.

"Of course Sakura," Kakashi spoke as it was the most obvious thing in the world "The princess."

"So you know..." It was not a question.

"Sakura, I'm not the Hokage for nothing, you know?" There was fun in his voice. "I've seen how they look at each other, I've listened when they talk at the phone. I've been there when they fight together side by side at the Fourth War. It was just a matter of time." He finished almost with longing.

"Like us" Sakura whispered to herself not expecting Kakashi to listen.

"Like us, what? His eyes were gleaming. Sakura felt nervous.

"Just..." she had to think quickly. "Just like the rest of us, you noted the romance coming back then too." That was closed. Kakashi shifted his mouth uncomfortably under his mask, wrinkling his nose. He wasn't buying it.

"Yes." Disappointment in his words. "Anyway... I think a wedding is coming soon and it will become most profitable for both villages. Suna and Konoha united forever. Shikamaru and princess Temari, we couldn't ask for more." Kakashi spoked low.

A cold chill ran down Sakura's spine upon hearing Kakashi's words. It was the Hokage who spoke: cold, distant, calculating. She wasn't sure if she liked this version of Kakashi. Yes, she has witnessed terrible decisions that he had to make as the village leader, she had seen the horrors of the war and what makes people do. But why this bothered her so much? Was it because she had lost sight of the fact that he was the Hokage after all and not just his partner, friend, and secret fantasy? Was she so in love that, now, only one sentence about the convenience of marriage was enough to make all the bandages fall off?

Kakashi hadn't actually said anything about fixing a marriage, but that's what it sounded like, and inside her, it seemed painful.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Kakashi asked full of worry. He had just realized after his lazy conversation that something had bothered Sakura.

"Is that how you see us?" Sakura began without looking at him "only as exchange goods, potential political deals or war unions thanks to a good marriage and the lineage that can come out of it?"

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but I can't see the problem there" Kakashi answered in all honesty.

"Sure..." Sakura said dryly in a mocking tone "then maybe I can go for the Kazekage. What do you think? I'm sure that is highly beneficial".

Kakashi was confused, but he was not going to recoil.

"Well, Sakura, good luck with that, cause I don't think Gaara is into girls..." He started doubting "Actually, I think he is into nothing at all, but that's your choice." Why was he getting angry? "Now, if instead, you would like to set your eyes on the brother, Kankuro, that could be something entirely different."

"You can start making the arrangements then, and as Hokage, you can walk me down the aisle." Sakura suppressed a tear.

"That would be your father´s job. I may be old, but that´s not my place" Kakashi retorted angrily, but without racing his voice.

"My parents lost faith in me long ago, I don´t think they are interested in my wedding, they think I´m already too old for that" She was sad, resigned. They have stopped talking to her when she refused to marry Sasuke, another suitable arrangement.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not one of those characters of that stupid book of yours, Lizzie."

Sakura looked down, suddenly she was feeling a bit ashamed. She avoided his eyes at all cost, and she was safe by the waitress announcing that the restaurant was closing. Kakashi paid the bill without saying anything, and they both started walking home, strangely taking the same path.

Sakura was the first in breaking the silence.

"You are reading the book, eh?"

"Hmmm" Kakashi hummed as the only answer.

"Already bored?" She was watching at the stars.

"Actually no" Kakashi began "Even if I don't know yet what to think about it, debating my self between if it is a good manner manual or a statement of the women position in the society, I have to recognize it's quite interesting."

"You haven't read enough yet" Sakura was acting childish. How was it possible that he still didn't realize that the book was actually an ode to true love.

"I supposed." He closed the conversation.

They continue walking a few more blocks before arriving at Sakura's door. Finally, they face each other.

"Sakura, listen" Kakashi needed to clear some things before parting to Suna "What I meant earlier" he swallowed hard "I would never jeopardize the happiness of any of you for the good of the village. You are my priority. The marriage between Shikamaru and Temari is indeed a benefit to Konoha, but that does not mean that I'm directing your lives from a desk. All of you already risk enough every day out there. I would not take love out of your hands."

Sakura nodded with her mouth dry, she needed a drink, a strong one. She finally locked eyes with him and smile much more relaxed.

"Are you going to send me a text as soon as you arrived Suna?" Sakura asked in a happy tone.

"Of course" he simply answered, hands in his pocket.

"And are you going to send my regards to the Kazekage and his brother?" Now she was teasing.

"If that's what you wish..." Kakashi left the phrase got lost in the air. The storm menacing again once more the Konoha's sky.

Sakura laughed heartedly.

"Good night Kakashi Sensei, have a good trip." Sakura said, turning her back to him.

She suddenly stood frozen with her keys trembling in her hands.

Warm breath sifted through the mask ran down her neck and the lobe of her ear. Kakashi hadn't gotten to touch a single hair of her, but all of it rose on her body. Her breath stopped for an instant that seemed like hours, his words tickling as he spoke.

"Have a good night you too, Lizzie." And just like that Kakashi disappeared.

Inner Sakura was going to be happy.

Notes:

So many things to say

1- It´s getting really really late here but I wanted to post it anyway

2- A little bit of tension is not that bad

3- Next chapter we may know, or not, what Naruto has done at Suna. Also, I´m pretty sure that the virtual chat is coming back.

4-Kakashi is making his homework after all.

5- I like the idea that Gaara may be a bit of asexual, though the story shows us different.

6- You Know what to do.

7- If there is anything else you would like to know, please write to me

8- Can somebody be so lovely and helpful and explain me how to link the chapters for making it easy to read? I'm almost as stupid as Kakashi with tech

[kittybennett]

your choice | anti-soulmate au where they weren't born with soul-mates and they meet in a group where other people who don't have them meet-up. and they come to the conclusion that they're not weirdos for not having them. cause they have the group and each other jhskfjksdf - @malcolmbrights​

ok i’m sorry this turned REALLY long but here we go.

aka: five times ev didn’t go to support group and one time she did

i.

Evelyn Reyes spends much of her sixteenth year of life staring into reflective surfaces in the vain hope that she will find a soulmark has bloomed on her skin while she wasn’t looking. Most people are born within them, though it isn’t entirely unheard of for the matching tattoos to make themselves known in the years between childhood and adolescence. A teenager already, Evelyn is a rarity, late even by the most generous of time frames, and this makes her a repository for her peers’ pity. She takes to wearing long sleeves even in the sweltering heat of summer to avoid questions, but finds that it’s all people want to talk to her about. No matter how they phrase their comforting platitudes or prying questions, it all sounds the same to her.

Are you scared that you might be utterly alone? How relieved I am that it’s you and not me.

Evelyn hates them all, but most of all she hates the guidance counselor who calls her into her office to offer ‘support’ and gives Evelyn a flyer for a group of people with deceased soulmates. It’s not the same, the counselor explains, but those in the group might understand what Evelyn is going through. They can sympathize on how horrible it is to not have a soulmate.

Her cheeks burn hot. She shoves the flyer into the pocket of her hoodie and begs to be excused. On her way home she tears the flyer into little pieces and throws it over a bridge, watching the pieces of paper flutter and land on the river below while angry, shameful tears prick at her eyes.

After that, she stops checking her body for new marks.

ii. The first man that Evelyn loves also takes pains to keep covered up. Unlike Evelyn, he actually has something to hide: a bright blue tattoo of a bird in flight. The space where it adorns his forearm is usually bandaged lest Jamie’s eager admirers find a way to replicate it and render the mark useless.

When they lie together at night, Evelyn traces the mark. It’s the closest she’s ever been to one that didn’t belong to either of her parents, and even at a young age she knew not to ask questions about theirs.

“They weren’t soulmates.” Evelyn tells her lover one night. “His died when they were little — childhood sweethearts. And my mom has never talked about hers, but I know he’s gone too. She wouldn’t have married my father or had me if she thought he was still out there.”

What she doesn’t confess hangs in the air. Jamie addresses it anyway.

“You know that’s not the reason you’re like this, right?”

Evelyn is silent but the finger that was tracing his mark stills.

“Evelyn. It’s just bad luck. Seriously.” He tilts her face so he can stare into her eyes. Jamie is rarely serious, so this sudden sobriety makes it difficult for Evelyn to hold his gaze, but she does. “Bad things happen to lots of people, and it’s not the end of the world. My cousin is widowed, and he remarried and—“

Before he can finish his story, Evelyn kisses him. And kisses him. Her distraction works.

That night Evelyn prays for the first time in well over a decade: asking for a blue bird on her forearm. ( She breaks up with Jamie a week later. Better to get out with her heart mostly intact. She never does find out what happened to that cousin of his, though sometimes she wonders if she should have let Jamie finish. )

iii.

“Would it kill you to write something happy for once? Just one ballad about summer love, or getting dicked down?”

Evelyn frowns. “You know I’m not the bubblegum pop type.”

“That’s for sure.” Her producer sighs. “Listen, you’re good. But can’t you just write a love song that isn’t super … intense and depressing? Give us something fun and light-hearted for once.”

“What if I haven’t felt that?”

“Then pretend, or talk to someone who has.” The producer fixes her with a look between pity and sternness. “Seriously, Evie. Don’t come back here without a love song. And get a therapist.”

Evelyn returns in a week with a song about the thrill of a first glance and the intense flush of devotion that follows it. The song spends several weeks on the charts and goes viral after someone creates a Tik Tok dance for it, though none of that matters to sole inspiration for the song: Evelyn’s new cat.

iv.

Her second-ever happy love song is not as commercially successful, but it is inspired by a human being this time. Naomi is brilliant, and funny, and the most talented actress of her generation (according to a Vanity Fair correspondent but Evelyn is inclined to agree). The first time she refers to Evelyn as “the love of my life”, Evelyn spends the better part of a week repeating the moment in her mind.

Naomi really should have thought to mention the caveat.

Three years later, Evelyn laughs at something a precocious child on a television program says and asks, “What would you do if your child asked you that?”

Naomi shakes her head. “Pour myself some scotch and direct them towards their other mom, or dad.”

Evelyn is frozen.

Other mom or dad. Not you. Not the love of her life. Because Evelyn is only the love of Naomi’s life … for now.

Evelyn turns off the television program. “You don’t think we’ll raise children together?”

Naomi looks sheepish. To her credit, she picks her words more carefully this time. “Evelyn … be realistic. I love you so much but - someday I’m going to meet the real thing. You can’t ask me to say no to them for you.”

Evelyn feels the same hot shame she did when she was sixteen and finally accepting that she had no soulmate and never would. This time she won’t cry, not in front of Naomi. “I’m a person. Not your training wheels.”

She moves out the next day.

v.

Dating apps aren’t much different, as it turns out. She has way too many messages from people who assume that being bisexual means she wants nothing more than to fulfill the threesome fantasies of heterosexual couples, and even more messages from people who think that because she is “unmarked”, she isn’t looking for anything serious. To be unmarked is to be written off entirely as a romantic partner, or at least as a serious one.

She deletes the dating app, but not before she posts a screenshot of her DMs to her Instagram with a caption finally addressing the rumors that she is unmarked.

I've always been private regarding the subject, but I owe it to anyone else like me to be more candid about my experiences as someone without a soulmark. Yes — I am unmarked, but not unworthy.

That night she’s flooded with messages from others like her, who thank her and repost her message. It’s humbling and uplifting all at once and Evelyn is guilty that she didn’t do it sooner. She responds to as many as she possibly can.

( One message stands out among the rest:

@ teorror: hey @reyevie​  - if you’re in nyc, my support group would love to have you! we meet at [ …. ] )

vi.

In the end, it’s not another rejection or loneliness or even solidarity that leads Evelyn to finally try talking to others like her.

It’s pettiness, and a lot of annoyance.

A former classmate posts a soulmate announcement on Facebook in which the caption describes meeting her soulmate for the first time as the single most important day of anyone’s life, the center of the human experience.

It makes Evelyn grit her teeth.

She is indignant that anyone would not consider the pain and feelings of inadequacy those words might cause for unmarked youth like the ones she’s received messages from, or her younger self. And she realizes with a pang of regret: it’s not just social media, or dating apps. It’s also the songs that people like Evelyn have written, the films and books that saturate the market that convince everyone that no other kind of love or measure of happiness matters when compared to romantic love.

As much as Evelyn craves it, she refuses to accept that it should overshadow every other aspect of her life.

She scrolls through her messages until she finds the one from @teorror again, inviting her to join his group and decides to show up and prove her point, even if she’s the only one who knows it.

To her initial horror, the group is small. There are only three people there, and Evelyn is just about ready to turn on her heel and walk away rather than join such an intimate gathering when a man bolts from his chair with an overjoyed expression on his face.

“Hey! You actually came!” He goes to her, and offers his hand to be shaked. “Can I call you Ev? Guys! This is Ev! The singer I was telling you guys about? Come on, sit down.”

The man she’s guessing is Teorror (Teo, she’ll later learn) guides her towards the others and the other man produces a chair for her and introduces himself as Rico.

Mercifully, they don’t ask her to introduce herself first or talk first. The woman next to her (Claudia) does, then Rico and Teo. Eventually they all turn to Evelyn.

“You don’t have to share if you’re not ready, Ev.” Claudia says, adopting Teo’s nickname for Evelyn. “The first time can be overwhelming.”

Ev nods, but feels she should try anyway. “I’m Evelyn — and as I guess you’ve figured, I’m also an unmarked.”

Immediately, a shadow crosses over the faces of the others. Evelyn stops.

“We try not to use that word.” Rico says gently and Evelyn can tell he’s taking care to not embarrass her. “It isn’t good to define ourselves by what we don’t have, rather than what we do.”

“Tell us about you. Teo says you’re a singer?” Claudia coaxes helpfully.

Teo offers Evelyn another wide smile. “I used to call myself leftovers. Or spare parts. I thought it was really funny, you know? But they’re right: focusing on what you lack just sets you up for more pain.”

It’s something to think about. She’s back for the session next week.

As the months go by, she sees the group outside of meetings too, starting with a potluck at Teo’s and leading to drinks and mechanical bull rides with Rico, or sightseeing with Claudia. At first she wonders what it might be like to share a soulmark with one of them … to find a soulmate after all … but eventually, she nearly stops thinking of the marks altogether.

Those fantasies end entirely after another night of dancing, as they’re having greasy fast food and Teo slings his arm around her as he tells a story that requires exaggerated facial expressions and wild hand gestures. She laughs and almost misses the moment where Claudia returns to the table with her order and slides her a crispy taco (Ev’s favorite) and Rico picks at the tomato (which Ev’s hates) and places it beside his own burger so that Evelyn won’t have to. They know her well, she realizes, better than anyone. They love her better than anyone …and suddenly Evelyn feels overwhelmed with her love for them in return.

Here is the intimacy she’s been craving her whole life: a love that doesn’t ask her to define herself by it, or insist upon its sole importance. It simply accepts, and gives. 

Evelyn can only wonder why she ever thought this wouldn’t be enough.