#don't buy the one-hit-wonder narrative

[orgoatpassantsable]

[tobiasdrake]

Hi! Absolutely adore your DBZ analyses, thank you so much - just spent a delightful time reading them all. I was wondering, since you've commented on Chi-Chi and Goku's marriage, what do you have to say about Vegeta and Bulma's relationship? (I've always been entranced by it - mostly because as with all his romances, Toriyama had the wisdom not to show any of it onscreen. But I'd love to know your thoughts about it.)

Bulma and Vegeta are a match made in Hell, and they deserve each other. (Which is to say yes, I love this ship.)

Hooking Bulma up with Vegeta was a hell of a narrative swerve. Generally speaking, stories rarely do this; They rarely let characters break up once they're already invested in a romance, unless it's supposed to be like a love triangle thing.

And Bulma? Bulma was invested. At least, to a degree.

This was the birth of the original Bulma romance that ran through about half of the manga. Two teens interesting in the opposite sex suddenly realize the availability of the other and a relationship is born.

Toriyama says he's bad at writing romance but to be honest, this has always hit me as more believable than your typical drawn-out five-seasons-of-pining Will They/Won't They affair. I'm a girl. You're a boy. Wanna go out and see what clicks?

And these two... these two do not click. We only really see their relationship from Bulma's perspective but it's clear that these two are miserable together.

The manga sorta takes Bulma's side, in that we never really get to hear Yamcha's opinion about their relationship one way or another. When he's around, all he wants to do is talk shop about martial arts. Since Toriyama doesn't like to write romance, we simply don't see much of it from them. What little we do hear about it comes from Bulma complaining about how miserable she is.

Bulma is pretty much always pissed off whenever the relationship is in focus at all.

Anime filler tends to take Yamcha's side instead, portraying him as a put-upon victim of Bulma's jealousy and abuse. A nice guy who doesn't deserve the way she treats him.

It's not hard to buy into this interpretation of their relationship since, as noted, we rarely get anything from Yamcha with regard to his relationship to women or Bulma specifically but we know Bulma's a lot. It's easy to accept Bulma as the "bad guy" of this relationship because. Like. Remember that time she enslaved a sentient being? Good times.

Though one particular moment from Yamcha later on kinda stands out as a bit of a retroactive Yikes.

Yeah. Uh. Threatening violence against a woman for rejecting his bro is a bit of a Yikes. Is this who we were supposed to see Yamcha as all this time? Because, if so, it might have helped to let him opine about the relationship more. Just saiyan.

According to Toriyama in interview, Yamcha and Bulma ultimately broke up because she caught Yamcha cheating on her. I guess that's what him being "popular with girls" was supposed to mean: Once he got over his gynophobia and found confidence with the opposite sex, Yamcha became a player.

But that doesn't necessarily come across from the statement, "Bulma can't stand that Yamcha's popular with girls." A lot of fans took that to mean girls just like him for no reason, and Bulma's unreasonably jealous about it. The anime took that position too.

Note that the "Yamcha is popular with girls" thing isn't helped by the fact that we never see it on-panel because he's only ever talking shop when he's around. But we do see a wandering eye from Bulma often enough.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying the aesthetic appeal of another party even when you're in a monogamous relationship, but it doesn't really present the "Other party is a womanizer and cheater" case when you're the only one ever seen doing this.

So it feels like there's a lot about Yamcha and Bulma's relationship that never made it to print yet influenced later decisions. Those decisions ended up being controversial because the foundation for those decisions was never laid. Here, Toriyama's disdain for writing romance worked against him.

But ultimately, regardless of whose side you take, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter who the "bad guy" is. A healthy relationship does not have a "bad guy" in it.

Whether or not Yamcha cheated, whether or not Bulma's just an unreasonably jealous hell-beast, it doesn't actually matter. What matters is that once you reach the point where you're taking sides over which party is the most obnoxious asshole and I hate you and I wish we never met... this relationship is not working for anybody.

It doesn't matter who the bad guy is. It doesn't matter who deserves the blame for this relationship being a toxic shithole. That there is blame to throw around in the first place is the problem. Every relationship has its ups and downs but if one party is constantly miserable for years and has possibly been looking for an escape hatch since year 1, that's not a little tiff.

What matters is that these two are not working out. Any time we see their relationship in focus, they are miserable together. The anime tried to do some patchwork on that with audience reception by giving them some cute moments as well, but because those moments aren't canon the pair remained miserable.

And then this happened.

Despite everything, I think we all assumed that Bulma and Yamcha were going to work it out. Fictional relationships are often portrayed as tumultuous. To a writer, nothing says true love like being constantly miserable and despising every waking moment you spend with your awful, nagging ball-and-chain of a spouse. That's just. Like. What the straights think romance is. It's weird.

I think we all thought that was going to be the deal here too. And then Trunks came along and said, "Nope, actually, they finally severed the cord."

Again, Toriyama says he's bad at writing romance but holy shit, the toxic and miserable relationship actually ended. The two characters involved who only got together out of loneliness and desperation later found they were incompatible with each other. That's so real. Much moreso than a lot of fictional romances.

Instead, we got the absolute crack ship that is Vegeta and Bulma. What a wild-ass revelation for Trunks to drop.

Like. Until the end of the Namek arc, this was the only time these two characters even met.

She also saw Vegeta for like two seconds here.

That was it. That was their entire history together until Goku defeated Frieza while Kaio sent everyone to Earth. But that's when everything changed for Vegeta.

Stranded on Earth with no ship, no affiliations, no ability to leave the planet and nowhere to go or be and no obligations to anyone but himself, Vegeta's circumstances were wildly different than they'd ever been before. He had become one of the Namekian refugees.

And Bulma was offering refuge.

Hard to resist, indeed. That moment is absolutely hilarious in retrospect. Bulma rolled a Nat 20 on that charisma check. It's pretty clear who the instigator of this relationship was.

Like. It needs to be stated that at this point, the only thing Bulma knew about Vegeta was that he tried to kill them all multiple times, and also he's kinda hot. But. Like.

It's Bulma. Anyone who doesn't expect this from her by now either hasn't been paying attention or started watching the English dub of the anime when they did Z first.

So, naturally, Vegeta is a kind and loving man and became a phenomenal husband and fa--

Wait. No. I got my notes mixed up. It says here Vegeta's a rotten dirty bastard. Like. Chronically. He has Supreme Dickshit Syndrome. It's genetic.

Most of Bulma and Vegeta's developing relationship happens offscreen. From what snippets we get, Vegeta has a tendency to vanish during the day, but he still lives at Capsule Corp so Bulma sees him around.

By the end of the three-year timeskip, it's official. Or semi-official. Yamcha and Bulma broke up at some point during that timeskip and Bulma's given birth to Trunks.

As for Vegeta, he's evidently moved out of Capsule Corp and into his own place.

I guess he's still keeping contact with Bulma since she knows what his intentions are. Not to mention he found his tranquility during these three years, though it's somewhat ambiguous as to what exactly brought that peace to his heart.

But the relationship is off to a rocky start nonetheless. Clearly something went down between Vegeta and Bulma that drove Vegeta out of Capsule Corp. To. Uh. Somewhere.

I like to imagine Vegeta living in some shitty West City apartment he rents off a stipend Bulma's sending him that he refuses to openly acknowledge. Like, room 101 is a down-on-his-luck tax accountant, room 102 is a couple with a kid trying to make ends meet off two retail workers' salaries, and then room 103 is Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyans. Sometimes he goes to community events and pretends he isn't having fun.

No lie, I would absolutely watch that as a sitcom.

As for Vegeta himself, he's still a rotten dirty bastard.

Worth noting that Vegeta's saying this as a Super Saiyan which means he's drunk on the form's enhanced aggression. But. Still. Vegeta is an absolute monster being dragged kicking and screaming into a pleasant life that he'll one day resent himself for enjoying. This is his arc moving forward.

It's not so much a redemption arc as it is a domestication arc. The uniquely evil even by Saiyan standards Vegeta is gradually being changed by his new terrestrial life. He doesn't want to own up to how much he enjoys it here. Seven years later, he's still desperate to avoid owning up to it.

He doesn't want to be happy here. He doesn't want a loving wife and a son who looks up to him and the most lavish home wealth can afford him and easy, comfortable days spent with friends and loved ones by his side. He doesn't want a happy ending.

But it's like Bulma warned him: Dragon Ball's queen bee is hard to resist.

Welcome back to Capsule Corp, Vegeta. We hardly even noticed you were gone. Honestly, Future Trunks deserves a lot of the credit for this; Watching him die at the Cell Games was what flipped the switch in Vegeta's head that he wants the family he and Bulma have spawned together.

Sure is a good thing we have Dragon Balls because this is a hell of a time to suddenly decide you love your son. But we see the consequences of that seven years later, since Vegeta moved back into Capsule Corp from... I don't know, wherever he went. They're gonna miss him at the next community poolside summer BBQ event for all tenants.

Part of what makes Vegeta and Bulma work, I think, is that they're on the same page about one crucial point. For Bulma, there is one person who will always take precedent in her life above all others. Romance comes and romance goes, but this is the relationship that matters most to her.

Especially when it comes to martial arts and fighting. Bulma doesn't know a lot about the subject, but she knows that Son Goku is her #1. She has no reservations about saying that to her lover's face either.

When fists start flying, Bulma knows who she's rooting for. If Goku's involved, then it's not her guy. That's. Just. Something that anyone who wants to be with her has to be willing to understand. The single most important relationship in Bulma's life will always be her friendship with Goku.

And the thing about Vegeta is... He kind of agrees? Like. See above, re: I wanted Babidi to destroy my feelings for Bulma so that I could become the warrior that can fight with you, Kakarot.

As much as Goku will always be Bulma's #1, he'll also always be Vegeta's #1. He even gets included into Vegeta's fond farewell to the family he loves.

Goku is basically the platonic third in a two-person polycule. This is the second marriage that this poor ace plays a vital role in despite having no real interest in romance whatsoever.

Bulma is selfish, spiteful, petty, and vain. At one point, DBS: Broly directly compares her to Frieza; A comparison that manages to be unbelievably unflattering to both participants.

They're the same picture. A revelation that would probably be horrifying to both.

And Vegeta. Especially Vegeta. But. Like. She warned you she was irresistible. You didn't take her seriously and now look where you are. Married to the She-Frieza. Maybe you should think about your life choices.

This is just. So much fun. As I said at the outset, Bulma and Vegeta are a match made in Hell who make it work because they're both similar brands of awful.

As for Yamcha, it's a little known fact but Yamcha rebounded and moved on with his life. He stops having much story relevancy after he leaves Capsule Corporation so we see very little of his private life from there. After retiring from martial arts and splitting up with Bulma, Yamcha's left without any story hooks to keep him involved.

But there was this interesting moment, when he realized they had a Shenron wish to spare.

After Krillin comes up with something better to use the wish on, he takes it back and claims it was a joke.

This is, surprisingly, a point of contention in the fandom as some of Yamcha's fans prefer the idea that he died miserable and alone after Bulma ruined his life by leaving him. This takeback gets pointed to as proof that he made up his girlfriend entirely. However, in context, it's clear that a) he's trying to brush off his earlier attempt at making a petty wish and b) the thing he's transparently pretending was a joke is the necklace wish, not the existence of his new girlfriend.

Like Bulma, Yamcha moved on with his life after the break up of their miserable relationship. And that was the final word that was ever uttered on Yamcha's romantic prospects, because this was the last time he was ever meaningfully involved with anything at all.

[centrally-unplanned]

I love deconstructing 'lifestyle' articles like these, they are such a gold mine of biases and narrative formation by the chattering classes. Here we have a wonderful premise:

Now, Ms. Margo is living a dream of many American women who are seeking relationships abroad, some of whom cite the toxic dating scene in the United States

Well, no objection from me that the US has toxic dating norms. But, hm, idk, 'many women' - is this a true trend amoung the American Female? Lets see who this article features:

Ms. Margo fell in love with the city (and its men). She found a gig teaching English in Paris and moved there after she graduated from Sarah Lawrence College in May 2019.

Okay, not *that* crazy but I do think I know what kind of Sarah Lawrence grad gap years in Paris before her law degree;

For Cindy Sheahan...At the end of 2017, she quit her job and traveled throughout Southeast Asia for leisure, and she started using Tinder.

That isn't...most people can't list as their full time job "Dating in Thailand";

For Frantzces Lys...she started a podcast called “Chronicles Abroad” with her co-host, who had met Ms. Williams, 40, in Malaysia. In 2018, Ms. Lys interviewed Ms. Williams, the founder of a consultancy, and the two kept in touch. They started dating years later.

Oh yeah the extremely relatable situation of a podcast host and boutique consultancy founder travelling to Mayalsia!!

“When you decide to just live your life for yourself, you actually end up stumbling upon people that match your energy and the same ideals and values,” said Ms. Lys, a 42-year-old founder of a wellness company.

Oh a wellness company, who hasn't founded one of those!!! And a link to their company, wow thanks NYT, that was definitely gonna be my follow-up for Ms. Lys:

Cepee Tabibian, who moved to Madrid at 35 from Austin, Texas, felt similarly.

Okay that could be normal, what do she d-

In 2020, she met her partner, who is Spanish. Now, she is the founder of She Hit Refresh, a community that helps women over the age of 30 move to a different country.

Jesus fucking Christ none of these people are real. They are full-hog in the industry of packaging and selling their Life of Insight & Discovery for $500 an hour over zoom sessions to non profits hosting leadership seminars, their dating isn't dating its brand management. I don't doubt they authentically love their life but this, shockingly, is not a trend, is not a sample, is not ethnographic data, this is an ad buy by a sliver of globe-trotting wealthy woman masquerading as journalism.

Absolutely the only relatable person is:

Alexis Brown, for example, noticed a lack of “effort and intention” from the men she was dating in Atlanta, where she attended Spelman College.

When she traveled across Europe for vacation from October 2022 to January 2023, however, the people she dated made it clear that they wanted to spend time with her.

Who takes way more words than is necessary to tell me she had a polycule stretching from Paris to Prague during her study abroad, which, good for her, that is what study abroad is for. Shockingly, this is not a new development in the collegiate experience!

Buried amoung the branded bullshit is Alexis's real gem and the only true 'thesis' of the article:

“The dating culture in the U.S. is that it’s cool and normalized to be indifferent to someone and not really express how you genuinely feel,” Ms. Brown, 23, said.

Which is essentially that in Europe people will "express emotion" unlike the cold, busy America. I don't doubt this, but I would hope a writer at the NYT's could have slightly more social awareness; the 'reason' Americans do not "express emotion" is that if they did you would dump them right on their ass on the first date.

Someone telling you, to quote Ms Margo:

“This one guy was like, ‘I ran through traffic just to look into your eyes once, and if you don’t want to go on a date with me, I can die happy knowing that I just met you,’” said Ms. Margo, a 28-year-old English teacher from Los Angeles.

As an opening line is cringe and uncomfortable, because they do not know you. They are lying and you know they are lying, it is a horrible foundation for a long term relationship. American dating norms have been hammering this lesson home on every participant (but if we are being honest, its primarily women hammering this home on men) and it is probably right to do. Anyone who does this lacks credibility.

But when you are in ~*Paris*~, you don't care about their credibility, because you lack it yourself. You are on vacation, you have no future, just a sequential present. If the guy who tells you your eyes are his world turns out to be a clingy failson who requires at least a blowjob a day to keep his mood stable, you can just *get up and leave the country*, you cannot be trapped because nothing is keeping you there. By placing an ocean between yourself and your social standing you can radically change your standards.

And you know what, there is something to that! Maybe the 18-point-checklist you mentally process every Tinder swipe through as you plan out your dream wedding on Cape Cod to a status-swollen ghost in a Tom Ford speckle-gray blazer while on lunch break from your quant analysis job at a digital marketing start-up in Chelsea isn't the best baggage to bring into a first date! Through radically shifting your social context it might be possible to jar your brain out of what is holding it back. Its not what you found in Paris, but what you left behind in America, that could actually make a difference... and that reality could give this article some heft.

But then say that instead of trying to sell me on the idea that:

For Ms. Margo, a Black woman who attended predominantly white institutions throughout her school years, she felt ignored in the United States, as if she “was not an option,” she said. In Paris she felt seen.

France is less racist than the campus of Sarah Fucking Lawrence against black people. No wonder the humanities are dying if they are teaching this level of self awareness.

[rainbowdaisy13]

Based on the last few days, I have a number of thoughts about this whole malarkey. 1) I think it's most likely that all of this--the op-ed, the CNN piece, Chely, etc.--were, if not completely planned for, part of an overall strategy Tree is working on. The op-ed is one of the most out-there and reputable pieces of evidence about Taylor's queerness and the way she shows it. It is planting seeds in people's minds who may have never even thought of queer signaling before (straight people usually don't), and CNN and the backlash makes it all controversial and even bigger. Next thing you know, you've got people from all walks of life wondering about Taylor's queer signaling/queerness. The public now knows that if she comes out, there were signs. 2) There is a slight chance that Tree either didn't know about the op-ed, or couldn't stop it from happening. The NYT publishes very controversial op-eds from very controversial people sometimes (a piece they published by Putin comes to mind). Op-eds are a way for them to sell subscriptions while giving the Times some distance from the content of the editorial (at least that's the sense I've gotten from my time working in publishing). 3) That said, publicists who work with mega stars are scary as hell and I don't know that editors at the Times would want to risk crossing her or anyone in Taylor's camp. 4) I haven't read the CNN article or seen the TV bit, but CNN really doesn't seem like Taylor's vibe. Or at least it wasn't until the NFL stuff. Maybe right now, since Taylor is so catastrophically famous at this point, she is hitting so many demographics that the PR narrative is getting very intricate. Tree and Taylor seem pretty brilliant at seeding narratives, but from my newbie perspective, this feels like a particularly difficult one to seed without people getting hurt in the crossfire. Unfortunately, the hurt demographic is more likely to be gaylors than straight conservative swifties who buy right into Taylor's expert marketing machine. 5) There is a (small) part of me that thinks maybe Taylor wants to signal, but not be out. Her signaling, however, seems to be getting louder with time. And yet, loud signals come alongside Hallmark hetero behavior. Maybe the intricate path is indeed one of two steps forward, one step back. I understand why people are feeling gaslit. Do I feel gaslit? Not really, but I do feel victimized by Tree's strategy. LOL

This is wonderful! Love the different possibilities, it really could be any of those and we may never fully know! Raise your hand if you have been personally victimized by Taylor Swift and Trees PR strategy

[lunar-years]

thinking about how jamie and his dad have matching rings and how jamie suggested buying the team ps5s so they would like him… and it’s a bit heartbreaking bc it suggests that jamie has tried to bond with his father in the past, he always aches for the love and attention from his dad. and tbh he genuinely thinks that he’s able to buy his father’s love with money and fancy gifts. also makes me wonder if the rehab storyline would’ve been james’ first time trying to get sober, what was his wake up call?

Jamie trying to buy his father's love...anon why are you hurting me like this 😭😭 there's something particularly heartbreaking about the idea that Jamie bought his dad the ring prior to man city/The Wembley Scene and then Jamie wears his copy of it in season 3 AFTER Wembley, when he hadn't even spoken to his father all that time. Almost like he's wearing it as a reminder of his father even when he's not there, maybe even putting it on wondering if his dad is still wearing his. Something something James Sr. haunting the narrative something something Jamie carrying the ghost of him around always.

Personally, I don't think what we see at the end of s3 is James' first stint in rehab (for various reasons), but I do have this tragic idea in my head that when Jamie finds out he's in rehab, he convinces himself Wembley must have been the wake-up call. Like 'oh, this explains why I haven't heard from him. He realized what he did to me and has been working on himself and trying to protect me' or whatever. Come to find that wasn't it at all, and the rehab was mandated because James got himself into legal trouble, or else his doctor told him if he didn't stop he was going to die, or something, and Jamie has to reckon with how hitting his own son was never enough to stop James from drinking, his own self is still his only motivator. (I've read at least one fic where Jamie goes to visit James and James actually blames Jamie for Wembley. God that hurt me.)

The generous view is that Wembley actually was the wake-up call, but.

[en-whims]

𝄞 LOOSE ENDS | SIM JAEYUN

the sixth instalment from the "Narratives from the Walkman: a 90's love collective" series

genres: in the words of andi "fluff turned spicy turned angst" | pairing: jake x fem!reader | warnings: non-explicit sexual themes | wc: 1.7k | tagging: @yenqa @yjjungwon @sophialosthercardigan @saucyjaeyun

a/n: this chapter is told under jake's account

[ 👤 ] SIDE A ; BOY 6 ㅡ SIM JAEYUN

°❝ hit me up at 2 AM and wanted me to swing by

threw on a pair of sweats tonight

hopped up in my whip

started up the engine, three miles

later in your room with vanilla candles and moonlight

glowing through your curtains ❞ °

[ 🎧 ] SIDE B ; TRACK 6 ㅡ moonlight chemistry by jeff bernat

I was an intern when they assigned me to her. They said she’d be my muse for a few months 'til they can figure out where to put me after this probation. I reluctantly agreed. Never in my entire career had it occurred to me that I, an amateur photographer, an average intern, would be assigned to the most celebrated model of my time.

I wasn't prepared, yet there I was in front of the girl everyone wanted to sleep with.

I admire her artistry greatly. The first time I saw her up close was when my company introduced us to each other. It's no wonder why everyone wanted to work with her.

Her features were so riveting that even I couldn't take my eyes off her that day. She had this captivating stare and charming smile that anyone who’d dare look at her would be spellbound.

The first week with her wasn’t so bad. She knew her angles too well, and I admire her for that. I never really had a hard time working with her. Not to mention she gives free doughnuts to staff every day. Her voice was so mellifluous, and she spoke so carefully despite her powerful aura.

I genuinely doubt those articles about her saying she’s a fraud who’s obsessed with fame. She's just a soft human being hiding behind the persona her company demands from her.

Our first interaction was when she asked my opinion on what doughnut flavor she should buy next for the whole crew. It became our usual interaction besides the work-related exchanges we had. Even so, she always ends up buying a different flavor. I don't even know why she bothered asking me.

“I never got the chance to ask your name, doughnut boy.” She approached me at one of our lunch breaks. “I'm Jake,” I said while rubbing my nape. I was caught off guard, but I shrugged it off the instant she noticed my sudden jerk. She just flashed a smile towards me in return then left.

Little did I know, she tucked a tiny piece of paper under my camera; it was her number. I never found it interesting at first, I mean, does she always do this to the photographers assigned to her? I was extremely hesitant since I was an intern and tried my best to stay professional, but I picked it up and hid it in my wallet anyway.

A month went by too quickly and we were still working together. She would sometimes text me in the morning, asking if I was free after work. We would go out late at night to watch movies at the cinema or just go driving around the city ‘til she had had enough and asked me to send her home.

There were other times where she would call me to pick her up in the morning just ‘cause she wanted to be the first to see me before I went to work. It went on until there came a time where she crashed at my place because she was dying to watch this Netflix show with someone, and her secretary was too busy to give her any attention.

She had no one to consider as her friend besides her secretary, and I guess that counted me too.

I had no idea what we were, but we had fun and enjoyed each other’s presence. I thought that’s what mattered,  so I never bothered asking her anything about our status.

We were sitting on my couch one afternoon as The Umbrella Academy was playing on the television. Sitting too close to each other did not surprise me. Things became so easy and comfortable with her that these little gestures made us accustomed to each other.

But somehow, it made me feel cautious. She leaned on my shoulder, carefully munching the popcorn with the almost empty bowl resting on her lap. I turned to her and gently rubbed my nose against the crown of her head.

“Hey,” I muttered, “why bother asking me about doughnut flavors when you buy something different the next day?” She chuckled and reached for the table, placing the bowl down, “well, it’s no fun if you give people what they want.” I gave her a confused look.

“You see, Jake, I don’t like living up to people’s expectations. They expect you to be this and that then the next, they expect you to be someone different. Everything’s temporary just like people’s expectations.” I grabbed the remote control and lowered the volume of the television as I was trying to comprehend her words.

She would usually say confusing stuff so randomly that I deemed it as a habit of hers. But most of the time, it’s hard to understand. “But aren’t you a model? People tell you to do stuff almost every day.” She placed a quick peck on my cheek and shifted in her seat, “work's different from my personal life. I don’t know. I just like doing things my own way when I feel like it.”

I blushed at her sudden gesture, but thankfully, she didn’t look at my face. She would kiss my arm, or give it a playful bite whenever she felt like it, but when she started giving me frequent kisses, I became more confused.

Next thing I knew, I was lying down on my bed, half-naked, with her cuddling against my bare chest as she drew invisible doodles on my skin. My hand was resting on my stomach while the other was playing with her hair. I gently pulled up the blanket to fully cover her exposed shoulders. I never expected our relationship to go this far.

I mean, sleeping with your muse? Doesn't sound bad when you put it that way, but the fact that she was my coworker made it worse.

I never asked for things to go down this path, but it happened so quickly. We were just exchanging chaste kisses on the couch until things started to get passionate; that was before my hands were gripping her thighs as she was gently ruffling my hair, ‘til we ended up in the bedroom, having pillowtalks.

“Why did you give me your number?” she heaved a deep sigh before answering my question.

“I saw you differently, I guess. Like you’re not like the others.”

“The others?”

“Yeah. Like those guys who wanted to be close with me just because they wanted to sleep with me. That's how the world looks at me right? Just some model everybody wants to have their hands on like I'm some damn trophy. You don’t look at me that way, do you?”

“I'm just pretty lucky, I guess.” she chuckled over my words.

“I'm kidding. I never looked at you that way. But is that it? You gave me your number just because you think I'm different?”

“Well, I don't think you’re different. I know you are.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“I like you, Jake. I've never been this open and comfortable since my last relationship in college, which was a very long time ago.”

The room went dead silent. I couldn't say it back. I just couldn’t. She was waiting for me to say something, anything. It took me three minutes, but I only let out a deep sigh. She pulled away from hugging me and laid on her back.

“I... I should go. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t be here anyway.” she stood up and started putting her clothes back on.

“No, wait! Let me explainㅡ”

“It’s okay, Jake. You don’t have to. I get it. I guess I really am just some showpiece everyone’s trying to collect. Temporary, am I right?”

She quickly tied her shoes and went towards the door but stopped halfway through.

“See you at work.” she breathlessly whispered and let out a sniff before slamming the door behind her. Way to go, Jake. There goes your chance at love.

I chickened out before I could even put my feelings across. I couldn't even give her the assurance she was asking from me. I was hopeless that I couldn't even figure out my own feelings.

How am I supposed to tell her that, when her eyes were begging for answers I don't even have the guts to give?

I screwed up, I made a fool out of her, and I couldn’t ever forgive myself for hurting someone whose only intention was to give me the love she thought I deserved, and I just watched her leave the place.

The next day, she became too dull. She gave free doughnuts as usual, but she wasn’t her cheery self anymore. I tried my best to stay focused, thinking the more professional this went, the faster we finished. 

Three months into this project, I assumed my probation neared its end. She approached my table at lunchtime, tucking another note under my camera. I had just come back from the restroom, and that was the only time I saw her approaching my table.

Usually, she would sit there and chat about doughnut flavors and other pastries, but things were different now. There was no one to blame but me. I was a coward, and still am.

It's not that I don’t like her, but I can’t say that I do either. She's fun to be with, and I find her company comforting. But I just wasn’t ready for the responsibility of reciprocating her feelings. I didn’t even know what I wanted until now.

I want her close to me. I crave her presence. I like being around her, but I'm still confused. She’s just too much for me. I haven’t figured out my feelings yet, lucky for her she had it all puzzled out already. I never meant to hurt her, but I already did. I was so naive and scared.

But I swear I wasn't trying to get in her pants. She matters to me. I just couldn’t tell her that.

The crew went out for a party and she went with them. I went home earlier. Lazily plopping myself on the bed as soon as I got home, I let out a deep, exasperated sigh, feeling emotionally drained. The memories still lingered fresh on the sheets, and I remembered the note she left on my table.

 “After this is over, feel free to lose my number.” ㅡ

leave an ask or a message by the front desk if you want to be added on the taglist!

© EN-WHIMS, 2023. all rights reserved.

[causesciencethatswhy]

Was thinking how we get confirmation of some of the things years later. Like in today's ep jm said him, jk (confirmed) and either one of jin and yg (jm was a bit confused who but it could also be that yoonjin both left later like jikook) were the last ones to leave their dorm and remember how we used to think jikook "might" live together cause they used to share car alot during 2019-2021. Now idk exactly when they left their dorms but i do know the news of RM and jm buying house in nine one hit the media around june 1st 2021. Also that one BTS video where the boys were interviewing e/o and jk asked jm what was the most enjoyable thing these days and jm replied "The most enjoyable thing these days is waking up and seeing jungkook" idr but wasn't it around 2019-2020 when he said that? And jikook and yoonjin used to share car, jikook the most of times so i think yup jikook used to live in the shared apartment be it dorm or whatever that is. So we were basically right.

Intersting thing is even after RM and jm buying house we still saw jikook sharing cars now idk why that. Yes when minimoni brought their houses they shared car but it was like only few times but jikook still has shared cars few times here nd there so i wonder why is that maybe they love sharing cars or their houses are near or etc etc.

Maybe as the besties they're when it comes to car sharing they just simply put these two together knowing they have shared it before too. Remember how they shared car 4 days of concerts in LV? There's another thing who's confirmation we got way later but i don't remember that now but yeah.

Also the way tkkrs be like "but jungkook don't cook for jm he doesn't even have jm's number" both got denied in this ep....i know it's only them who believed their shit theories but they're sooo many in number and they spread it everywhere so it's like thousands of them i think like 99% of them belive that shit. "Jungkook doens't have jm's number why is it a problem it happens people don't have e/o's numbers why are you blaming tkkrs for it" i remember mfkr dionysustkk tweeting this. The way i wanna bitch slap that identity crisis human. Like bitch not only he has jm's number (sounds so fking silly to say even) he literally knows jm's House password and walks like he knows the place and even cook for the two of them so you can sit in a corner and cry me some river

Thank you for this mini timeline compilation anon!

I found it interesting that jimin knew for sure that jk was still with him at the dorms but couldn't confirm whether yoonjin were there too. Seems like a detail you'd recall I feel, unless you were spending a majority of your time with one person. And if we are to go by your timeline it does seem that even after moving out jikook seemed to have made a deliberate choice to take the same car on multiple occasions. I do think there was a period in mid 2021 and early 2023 where jkk were maybe not seeing each that frequently based on some of their conversations, but this docu has really made me re evaluate a lot of these assumptions.

Since 2020, we have gotten almost 1/3 the amount of behind the scenes ot7 content and that definitely had an impact on many peoples assumptions on the members relationships. It's why certain "groups" felt more confident in proclaiming that jikook were never close or only fanservice.

Tkkrs and their cult leaders will never stop in their attempts at undermining jikooks relationship with false narratives. It's something I didn't understand the need of when I first entered shipping spaces because if you believe tkk are real and in a healthy relationship, then why would assuming jikook are close friends, in any way would come in the way of that? Why did jimin need to be the villain in their theories so bad? It's only now that I kinda get that as a tkkr, they can't possibility perceive that tkk are in a 'genuine and healthy' relationship if they have to take jikook at face value. Cause the way those two interact and prioritise one another, does really throw tkkrs off gaurd. Which is why so much of their belief and foundation hinges on all of jkks interactions being fake and forced and jk secretly hating jm. Because the alternative cannot be that they're 'close friends" for them, once they start 'really seeing' jikook for the way they are around one another, it disturbs their perfect ideal.

Not saying that there's no possibility that jikook are in fact just close friends after all, but I think once you do see that underlying spark that makes one go "?" ,it's kind of hard to unsee it.

[accessible-tumbling]

At source, the thread continues:

I follow/am followed by a lot of trans or trans-adjacent folks, but I have no idea how many people who follow me don't really know any trans people, and who, on seeing the rising hysteria about trans people, feel that maybe there really is something to worry about.

Maybe they feel no hostility to trans people, but have been led to believe that there are 'reasonable concerns' to be addressed, or that they are 'just asking questions'. At least one of my followers follows Cambridge Radical Feminists network, an openly trans-hostile group.

So if you're trans, or an ally, CW for transphobia and sadness here, maybe don't read this. But if you are feeling a bit 'on the fence' I'm begging you, listen to those of us telling you things are really bad here, and getting worse.

Neither my niece or my nephew were brought up with 'traditional gender roles'. My husband is the virtuoso cook in our household, and we have loads of pictures of both 'nephews' cooking with him. My niece wore her hair long, because she liked it long, and hated haircuts.

Her favourite colour is purple, so it featured a lot in her wardrobe, but I think because no fixed ideas of what it meant to 'be a boy' were imposed on her or her self-expression, gender was just a shrug to her. Until puberty hit, and suddenly she was very uncomfortable.

She was a bit grouchy and withdrawn, and began to act out at school. Not surprising for a kid in their early teens to be moody and challenging, not the stuff of newspaper headlines. We just took it in stride. Then a few months later it all came together - she was a girl.

We swapped pronouns, and once she decided on a new name, adopted that (it's a lovely choice!). My happy, goofy, animated little weirdo came back out of her shell. Her school friends are wonderful and supportive (we had a 'Gender Repeal' party where they brought hand made cards!

But getting healthcare, counselling and support for her was another story. Obviously we all had questions around whether this was a phase, or perhaps a stepping stone to something else - nonbinary identity, or just life as a boy who was quite gender-nonconforming.

These aren't things we are qualified to help her work through! Also, if in time and with a good counsellor it is established with certainty that yes, she is a trans girl, then we want her to have a therapist to help her with her feelings around that.

It's not an easy path through life, and it would be reasonable to have some anger, some 'why me' feelings, or some fears about that. We really want her to have that support.

We also wanted to have puberty blockers for her. She had expressed a desire for them, and it would buy her some time to think about what she wants from her future and her body without the pressure of a body that is changing in ways that are deeply distressing to her.

Since the Tavistock closed, there is no Gender Identity service on the NHS to refer her into. The new system is expected to open with a three year wait list. Her friends won't get their first appt until they are around 17 or 18.

We got her blockers privately. It's challenging because not all GPs will agree to share care with private services, so you're always hopping between two systems. It's not cheap either. Just over £100 a month. Not a lot of families have that going spare right now.

She had a fantastic youth club for LGBT+ kids that has been such a fantastic source of support. Their windows have been smashed more than once. Newspapers regularly talk about the threat trans women pose to us. There was even a debate about it in Parliament. It's hostile here.

At the beginning of the year, when Gary Lineker was being hauled over the coals for suggesting our government's narrative around targets of hatred was akin to 1930s Germany, the kids' parents offered them to move to Canada. Their dad texted us to say they seemed keen.

Canada has a better healthcare system for trans people, and there, my niece can change her gender officially with a minor bit of paperwork. Nowhere right now is perfect, but it's better.

So today, my niece and nephew left their home, their friends, their school, and most of their family to seek a better life away from the UK, which has become intolerably hostile.

I'm relieved. Canada is lovely. Travel broadens the mind. They are charismatic, kind, engaging kids. They will make new friends.

But we won't get their formative teenage years back, with them living ten minutes' cycle away. They won't get homework on my couch after school.

They won't get time with their dad or their grandparents, except for holidays. They won't play frisbee with their uncle, or go kayaking with me after school. We will be half a world away, hoping for the best.

This is the cost of the rising tide of transphobia. Lineker was right. Having a chunk of your family uproot for their safety and wellbeing while being victimised by your government probably does feel reminiscent of 1930s Germany.

I encourage you to scratch a little deeper at the 'just asking questions' brigade, at JK Rowling's desire to just 'protect women and girls'. That protection doesn't extend to my niece. The questions about her personhood left her without counselling, support or healthcare.

And one day, when she is not a trans child but a trans woman, I don't want her living somewhere that her identity is constantly sharing space with 'just asking questions about rapists', 'dangerous men in dresses', or discourse around whether she is allowed to pee outside her home.

The anti-trans brigade shares space, and a great deal of its ideals with fascism. Nazis attend their rallies. They quote Hitler. The policing of identity, the reinforcement of gender norms, the intense focus on fertility - all straight out of the fash playbook.

And those pressing for the marginalisation of a minority, squeezing them out of public life, pillorying them in the press, ruining their public standing - they don't stop there. Other targets for hate *will* emerge, if left unchecked.

One of the most famous images of Nazi book burning is from the looting of Magnus Hirschfeld's Institute of Sexology, which was leading research in trans and gay identities/sexualities at the time.

And fascist powers don't start with laws that say things like 'kill all the Jews'. They are worded as positives. The first anti-Jewish law was 'Law for the Restoration of the Professional Civil Service' barring Jewish and 'politically unreliable' people from service.

(You can read more about anti-Jewish legislation here)

So when you see things framed as 'protecting women and girls' and 'defending women's sex-based rights' (surely things *no one* reasonable can disagree with!) ask yourself protect *from who* and *at whose expense*.

As we are left behind in a nation that is increasingly demonising foreigners and turning on its own, I am left with the thought experiment we were all given at school, 'What would *you* have done if you had lived in that place, at that time?'

Now is the place and the time.

Please, do something.

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 5 Meakashi pt. 3

Rather than wax philosophical about being a moderate during times of major political upheaval I'm much more interested in the notion that prior to the Hinamizawa Dam protests no one really worshipped Oyashiro. Specifically I'm interested in whether the priest was originally from Hinamizawa, or if he was originally an outsider before marrying into the Furude family. I presume despite having a small following the majority of the Furude family was still interested in the idea of reincarnating Oyashiro by having the eight first born daughters happen. Outside of Hinamizawa was there a sect of Oyashiro worshipers out in Japan, or do you think the majority were entirely in house? I want to believe that for the most part it was localized entirely within Hinamizawa. I seem to recall in Watanagashi "Mion" mentioned that the people of Hinamizawa were generally looked down upon by the rest of the general populace of Japan because of their religious beliefs.

I can sort of understand the view that you shouldn't say things that might cool passions when you're in the midst of the protests like that, but I sort of get why the Furude priest was trying to express a more wait and see approach. Maybe it wasn't really due to any centrist, wanting to wait and see feelings, but maybe Rika had mentioned to him that she'd had a vision about the protests ending in their favor. So he was simply wanting to see if Rika's visions were correct. Of course, I don't think anyone would buy that if you said you were waiting to see if god was going to personally intervene in the protests.

Meanwhile in the future:

I know that doesn't mean she hates her, but you don't say things like that if you think your relationship with someone is great. Also, that's a very silly line "up until birth, we were perfectly equal."

So part of me wants to believe this is a double ruse. They wouldn't be foreshadowing so hard if Shion wasn't going to turn on Mion and become actively evil. But another part of me wants to think that everything is going to be A-okay forever for everyone. I know, and you know that's not the case, I don't think this would be one of the highest regarded chapters if everything was peachy-keen for everyone the whole way through. Eventually some delicious delicious dramatics will have to happen. And I don't mean the flashback to Satoko and Satoshi's child abuse extravaganza.

I wonder if this is to do with the rumors that Sonozaki Sr. got in trouble for dealing in canned human flesh during World War II? I'm willing to bet it's because of that. Boy, am I gonna feel embarrassed if we get back to the events of Watanagashi and it turns out the Mion who confessed to all the dirty deeds and tried to kill Shion and Keiichi was in fact really Mion, and not Shion like I think it is.

Then Kasai and Shion have a conversation about how Oryou has found out that Shion has made her escape from St. Lucia's private academy. And how Shion reckons if she's caught she will have to cut off a finger or three as penance for her antics. I have quite a few extra screenshots from throughout the chapter I haven't posted because it's excess exposition. I don't always strive to hit the maximum amount of pictures, but maybe I should post them for a stronger sense of thoroughness? Anyway, the chapter ends, and now it's on to the not at all depressing TIP.

I was off by a couple of chapters, but here he is. Allegedly one of the swellest guys in the story. Very exciting, and also extremely telling that the narration shows he's not quite the saint the rest of the narrative has painted him as in chapter 3. Well, more so anyway, since the first TIP accuses him of murdering his and Satoko's aunt. Not exactly a stellar person if you're going around committing murder. I figure in the next subchapter (section, part, I need to decide on a particular word for it because calling these chapters, and the larger chapter itself a chapter is a bit confusing) Satoshi will become an actual character and not just a flashback character/hallucination that he's been up until this point.

[lil-tachyon]

Recommend dinosaur media besides Jurassic Park?

Dinotopia: All the books are super fun, but the first and last are the best. Just some rambling, cozy journeys through an imagined land of prehistoric beasts and eclectic architecture. The middle two books are still great in terms of visuals, but they lean too much into narrative stuff and I don't think that's Gurney's strong point. The writing feels a lot more like a child's first chapter book. Maybe that's what he was going for, I'm not sure.

Xenozoic Tales: Long time fans of the blog will at this point be tired of me recommending it, but I'm not going to stop because most people I talk to (even other terminally-online SFF artists) still haven't read it. It's obviously super pulpy but it really grows into itself toward the end and is able to handle some more mature ideas without ever taking itself too seriously. Highly recommend.

An Alphabet of Dinosaurs: Just a great collection of Wayne Barlowe's paleoart. It's a 10-minute read and it's aimed at kids but you're buying it for the art and its one of the only Barlowe books you can reliably pick up for less than $10 so I'd say it's worth it. Good chance your library may have it, too.

Dinosaurs by Thomas R Holtz Jr: Very accessible non-fiction work on dinosaur biology and cladistics. It's probably a bit dated now (came out in 2007) and the art is very hit-or-miss (about half the illustrations are obvious products of the era of early digital art when everyone was photobashing and throwing these awful digital textures onto everything, ugh...) but it remains a fun and informative read. If anyone has a more contemporary but similarly thorough dinosaur book, please let me know! I know there have been a lot of huge discoveries, especially from China, since this book came out.

C. M. Kosemen's (keep track of how many times that name appears on this list) and @simon-roy 's Dinosauroids: This was a HUGE influence on what I wanted to draw and what kind of stories I wanted to tell when I first found it and middle school and it still totally holds up. Check it out here!

Walking With Dinosaurs: Huge, multi-part BBC documentary from 1999 that presented stories about Mesozoic fauna as if it was a contemporary nature documentary. The CGI for which it was initially so famous is very dated now but the practical effects are great and it's honestly the narration and presentation that sells it anyway. Also recommend Walking With Monsters which is the same thing but for the Paleozoic. People routinely upload both series on youtube, they're not hard to find.

All Yesterdays by Jon Conway, C. M. Kosemen, and Darren Naish: Unique and outrageous reconstructions of dinosaurs and other paleofauna that challenge our preconceptions and highlight the limits of our understanding of their appearance and behavior. Also really cool for me personally because in my lifetime I've seen this book go from a neat project by people I followed on deviantart to being (rightly) considered a landmark in paleoillustration.

Dino Run: This game bangs and I pity the kids who weren't around in 2008 when this took over the internet for a brief but wonderful period

The Rite of Spring segment from Fantasia: From the big bang to the climactic end of the Mesozoic, all set to Stravinsky. Apparently the only Disney media I enjoy is stuff that The Mouse just does not give a shit about because this one's also on youtube.

That's some stuff off the top of my head, should be enough for now. I may add more if I think of it. Some parting thoughts:

C. M. Kosemen's youtube channel is great for learning about what I'll call "esoteric paleontology" for lack of a better term. Also he just does lots of weird, eclectic videos that I find interesting.

I don't hesitate to recommend Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal because he's literally never disappointed me and everyone I know says it's great, but I personally have not yet gotten around to watching it.

I don't promote pseudoscience, but I do think David Peters is a funny guy with weird, neat ideas. TLDR this one guy has a bunch of fringe theories about pterosaur biology and believes that because literally no one else agrees with him that he must be being censored by "mainstream science." Don't believe any of it, just enjoy the weirdness.

Any time you can pick up a dinosaur or other paleofauna book secondhand, I recommend you do it. Tons of outdated and cheap books that nonetheless contain great illustrations. That kinda stuff is a constant source of inspiration for me.

The Land Before Time is probably still great. It's been over a decade since I last watched it, but I have fond memories. Maybe time for a rewatch...

[ilikereadingactually]

Quickly, While They Still Have Horses

Quickly, While They Still Have Horses: Stories by Jan Carson

i am really getting into this little microgenre of connected surreal short stories/vignettes/narratives. Craft was so excellent, and Rakesfall broke my brain in great ways, and Tauhou was so dreamlike and encompassing. Quickly falls right into this tiny category for me, more on the short story end of things than the others but still feeling like it's creating a world that looks like some part of ours, with just the smallest unreal quirks.

the connective tissue here is the political and social landscape of Northern Ireland, and the shadow of the Troubles across stories that span time, borders, boundaries, and peace lines. the emotional logic of the surreal elements—a severed hand that keeps reappearing in a fridge in Ulster, a Catholic ghost haunting a used car bought by Protestants, miracle healing offered and joked about and achieved—hits just right in a setting haunted by violence and division and getting on with life in spite of those things. if a bomb could go off anywhere, any moment, and a fenced wall divides that sort's neighborhood from this sort's, then why couldn't a pillar of heatless fire and smoke be a mental health support device? even the stories that aren't explicitly surreal deal little electric shocks of surprise, highlighting grief or numbness or resilience or love within the mundane everyday.

for half a minute i thought about picking a favorite story to highlight in this review, but looking through them i don't think i can! each one was so sparkling and funny and breathtaking like a punch in the chest. i have endearing love for a woman who admires her lesbian sisters-in-law and does her best to support her soft-spoken husband. i laughed so hard at the adolescent impulsivity and shitheadedness of kids who threw a burning baby doll over the peace wall. i can't stop thinking about the boy who chooses to believe his blind friend when he says he's been healed and wants to learn to drive, and the girl who spends all summer working for a space of her own and is denied by a father who must be recontextualized in that moment between childhood and growing up. what a treasure trove of jewels.

the deets

how i read it: another e-galley from NetGalley, i'm still playing catch-up! but i'm definitely going to buy this one when i have the chance.

try this if you: are delighted by dialects written out, are into surreality, enjoy stellar and quick character development, or dig getting dropped into the day-to-day culture of a place.

some lines i really liked: gosh the prose is just so beautiful

At high tide the seaweed swims with me. Its smooth tongues lap my arms and legs. I think about Jonah in the belly of the whale, all those slick intestines sliding against his skin. I feel small in myself and held.

___

In a way, it's good to be kept busy. It wears the howl out of her. She wonders if it is the same for Dad. By the day's end, there's no talk left in either of them.

___

After Rob, I lost the sea. I let Malcolm have it. I did not want it anymore.

___

The pair of them are always getting on like this. Smiling. Touching. Kissing each other in unusual places such as shoulders and earlobes. They are stupid happy. I wouldn't want to be a lesbian myself, but I envy Cathy all the same.

___

You start being honest with each other, and it's like opening what's-her-name's box. You never know what'll come slinking out.

pub date: July 9, 2024! go get it and read it!!

[jsaunderswrites]

Jesse reads the Energon Universe Part I: Void Rivals #1-4

Void Rivals #1

I have neither read nor watched Enemy Mine, but I’m familiar with the trope that’s been repeated in a million other stories.

I caught the parallel of the characters being like 80s toy line factions from just the preview. However I don’t think they sold that idea well in the story, because who’s gonna buy these guys? They’re not the LIGHT GUARDIANS and VOILET INCURSION, they’re Agorrians and Zertonians. They don’t have striking character designs, they look like random Star Wars background filler.

They don’t have unique looks or gimmicks like a toy-based character would. We learn that Agorrians have handroids (AIs in small computers in their right hand with limited physical autonomy) but it just looks like a red glove. Youd think having a toyline of guys with fancy hands could be fun; one with a big crusher claw, one that grapples, one with a blaster. But so far it's only a JARVIS voice. That's all.

The part where they seem to be based on different sci-fi aesthetics to further contrast them is cool, but it leads to them looking like two different generic space soldiers.

The art is well rendered and coloured. The space environment and crashed ships are a great mood. But it also just doesn't grab attention and the whole place looks the same.

The characters don't exactly have memorable personalities. Darak is more personable and optimistic, while Solila is more harsh and cynical, but willing to bend the rules rather than dying for nothing.

The problem is there's just no strong hook. Why should I care about these generic characters? The mystery comes too late and seems too self explanatory (they're dehumanising each other in order to keep conflict going) to be the reason to keep reading.

The SURPRISE Transformers crossover lasts four pages and could easily be removed without changing the story at all. It doesn't matter to the actual characters except to repeat the losing all hope beat they already hit!

Void Rivals #2

The flashback establishes that Darak has a shitty dad who hates him, but otherwise it doesn't really build anything into narrative.

I don't know if they'll explain the vision more than Solila attributing it to her god, Zerta.

On the one hand I respect they seem to have avoided the assumption that there should be a romance between the two opposite gendered characters stuck together. But that would at least be something interesting happening.

The reveal of the skuxxoid is framed as a shocking reveal, but who out there has any idea what that is unless you spend all your time on TFWiki?

Void Rivals #3

The cover is a lie.

They introduce a quintesson prosecutor and have him ally with Darak and Solila only for them to turn on him almost immediately. It's so abrupt and lacking in drama I'm wondering if it's supposed to be a joke?

The ending where Solila betrays Darak is the first twist that actually got me.

Void Rivals #4

Every issue requires a Transformers reference so we just cut away to the skuxxoid meeting Shockwave on Cybertron despite having nothing to do with this story.

The decompression really drags this story out. So many pages for so little actual story, and there's no real atmosphere that would justify the trade off.

We learn the leaders of the factions are actually working together but that doesn't shock me at all. This conspiracy is just so underwhelming.

Final thoughts

Apparently Kirkman has a reputation for keeping secrets from comic sellers to preserve spoilers which hurts those businesses. The idea to keep the Transformers reveal a secret, leading to comic shops not preordering this random book, is dumb.

The setting hasn't been established in any way to make me care about the continued survival of these civilisation.

I'm predicting they break out, and broadcast their faces to both worlds.

The Transformers elements feel so artificial and I don't know why they feel like they could be pulled out separately. Do they want to be able to include them in the upcoming Transformers trades?

I haven't been buying the books despite being an obsessive completionist, and I will be grabbing the Transformers books, but in this case I'll probably get the trade collection.

[litcest]

Infandous, by Elana K. Arnold

Before I even opened this book, I had to Google something. The meaning of infandous. For those who, like me, didn't know this word, it means something that brings a sense of terrible disgust and aversion.

But, more importantly, for us Infandous is the name of a 2015 contemporary novel by Elana K. Arnold. The book follows the life of Sephora Golding, a 16 years old girl who lives in her mother's shadow.

Sephora, nicknamed Seph, was named by her mom after the makeup store. That should tell you all the you need to know about her mom, the beautiful Rebecca. Rebecca had had a promising career in modeling until she got pregnant with Sephora at 17. Unable to work and kicked out of her parents house, Rebecca had no one to help her, specially since the baby's daddy had left, and raised Sephora by herself in Venice Beach (it's hard to not think of Lana every time I read these words).

It's summer. School is out and the air is hot in California. Seph spends her time in her studio making sculptures and hanging out with her best friend, Marissa.

Seph has a deep admiration for her mother's beauty, to the point that I had started wondering if the incest was between them (I knew this book was incestuous before picking it up - otherwise I wouldn't have bothered doing so - but I didn't knew exactly between whom the incest was) but, at the same time, she seems to resents Rebecca's superficiality and their terrible living conditions. She has never met her father nor knows anything about him, liking to live with just her mom.

The winter before, while on the beach, Seph meets Felix, a surfer on his thirties that was visiting Venice Beach. She decides she wants him and when he invites her to dinner, she agrees. Seph lies about herself, telling him she's 19 instead of 16 and that her name is Annie. After dinner, they kiss and have sex in Felix's hotel room. We don't know much about this event at this point, but Seph clearly doesn't want to talk about Felix to anyone.

Seph makes it clear to the reader that she's not the type to have sex with random man, but that there had been something about Felix that she couldn't turn away from. That something is GSA.

Rebecca's newest hookup, an younger guy named Jordan, gets Seph a job in a surfer shop, which she learns to like.

After calling her many times, Seph finally picks up the phone and answers Felix, who lets her know he is going back to California and wants to meet up with 'Annie' again. To put some extra distance between them, Seph goes to visit her aunt in Georgia.

And dude, this part is filled with incest potential. Seph cousins are 11 and 13 and "both the girls are a little obsessed with [Seph's] boobs". Which is treated as normal by the narrative.... I've a younger female cousin and she never ever started at my boobs in the intensive way that Seph describes her cousins doing. But okay...

No, actually, the whole book is filled with hits of incest. From Seph's constant babbling about her mother's beauty and sex life to Seph saying that Marissa is like a sister to her and that why she kisses her on the lips when Marissa asks.

Anyway, back to the plot. Seph returns to Venice Beach and Felix calls her again, begging her to at least tell him what he did wrong but she doesn't tells him anything.

Last winter, after her hookup with Felix, Seph was going through her mom's stuff when she found a photo of her mom with Felix, from eight before the time Rebecca got pregnant.

Back to the summer, Jordan tries to have Seph's art exposed at the store and in new board designs. At this point, the book explains the meaning of infandous so I guess I didn't have to look it up before reading.

Seph's design becomes famous in Virginia Beach, and every surfer wants a surf board with her art. It shouldn't be a surprise then when Felix comes to the store, looking to buy one for himself. At first, she considers continuing to pretend to be Annie, but quickly changes her mind and confesses being Sephora Golding, and that he knew her mother. Felix enters in shock, piecing it together. He leaves the shop in a hurry, unable to speak.

Seph's story is interwoven with chapters telling fairy-tales and myths revolving around rape. The last fairy tale is The Mermaid and the Wolf, which is the only tale that isn't real (it exists solely in this book). A mermaid is an image often associated with Rebecca, while Felix is connected to wolves. In the tale, a mermaid and a wolf have a child who is a seal, and that seal goes on to have sex with the wolf, making this tale basically a recap of the book.

"And when the wolf returned, the seal girl did not recognize him and he did not guess that she was of his flesh. So they fell together in the sand, and he knew her as he had known her mother."

Elana K. Arnold's prose is beautiful and introspective. That, coupled with the hot California air, reminded me a lot of Francesca Lia Block's Wasteland. Some people online consider that Felix raped Seph, but I disagree. The scene doesn't reads as a rape. He was older than her, but she lied her age, so it's not like he's a child predator either. Seph's regret comes from finding out he is her father, not from the sexual act itself.

I wish the book had been longer and showcased more of Felix and Seph. What happens after he left the store? Will he try to call her again to reconnect with his daughter? The good part of an open ending is that it allows you to make up whatever you want.

[cyarskaren52]

Jack Harlow Is Serious About This

By Ross Scarano

Photography by Stacy Kranitz

December 11, 2020

Jacket, $2,850, and shirt, $875, by Louis Vuitton Men's

Somewhere amidst the green hills of West Virginia, in the kind of club that offers bottle service to its VIP customers, there’s a woman in possession of Jack Harlow’s heart.

He flew into Pittsburgh—the nearest major airport—before driving into the wild and wonderful heart of Appalachia for a club appearance. At the club, he met a bottle girl who stopped him cold. If you were unaware that West Virginia had bottle girls, so was Harlow. “I found out just shortly before you did,” he deadpans over a video-less Zoom call.

She’s been on his mind since, and because everything in Harlow’s lyrics really happened, she’s in his music, too. Track three on his debut album Thats What They All Say, his first full-length release since his smash single “Whats Poppin” (and its star-studded remix) shot up to No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100 and garnered a Grammy nomination for Best Rap Performance, to be precise.

Thats What They All Say will likely be one of the biggest albums of the year, and the bottle girl makes her cameo early, on “21C/Delta,” a mellow two-part journey into 21st century romance as experienced by a 22-year-old rap star who claims few vices outside of sex. In fact, Harlow is something of a strip club aficionado—when the Los Angeles Clippers point guard Lou Williams was allowed to leave the NBA bubble in July to attend a memorial service, it was Harlow’s Instagram photo that revealed that Williams had also found time to stop by Atlanta’s legendary Magic City. According to Harlow, there are no hard feelings and the video for his single “Tyler Herro” was shot on Williams’ home basketball court.

But he’s too decent a guy to say anything more about his brief encounter in Appalachia. “I don't want to ruin this person's life,” he says. Fingers crossed, this will not devolve into a “Courtney from Hooters on Peach Street”situation.

Jacket, $1,750, and pants, $600, by Room Service Los Angeles / Earrings (throughout), his own

Harlow was introduced to hip-hop around age seven by his mother Maggie, who played The Marshall Mathers LP and other landmarks of the genre while driving around their home of Louisville, Kentucky. Her trip to buy Kanye West’s Late Registration is one of his earliest memories. “She told me all the words I was about to hear but wasn't allowed to say,” he told me. Around the same time, he remembers his teachers praising his writing. “In first grade, I was writing personal narratives and persuasive letters,” he says. “That's when I knew I enjoyed words.”

After years of adolescent grinding in the mixtape circuit in Louisville, supported by his parents and grandmother, Harlow recognized that in order to progress he needed to be at the center of American music culture. So in 2017 he moved to Atlanta, where he met hip-hop veterans DJ Drama, Don Cannon, and Leighton “Lake” Morrison, who signed him to their label Generation Now in 2018. The mixtapes and EPshe made in Kentucky often felt too try-hard, both in terms of the attempts at comedic wordplay (“Like blue jeans at the state fair, I might cut you off straight mid-sentence”) and the self-seriousness that Harlow deployed as a counterbalance (a ride past his elementary school on “Eastern Parkway” becomes an opportunity for a belabored metaphor about states of matter). He describes those early records as “forcefully goofy,” so much so that he felt uncomfortable playing the music “in front of girls.” Atlanta gave his music a new sense of nonchalance; he learned to relax his grip. “I'm doing a much better job of representing who I am off record, on record,” he says.

Blazer, $1,025, and turtleneck, $750, by Off-White c/o Virgil Abloh / Sunglasses, $625, by Vintage Wood Collection

“I’m signed to the gatekeepers,” Harlow raps on the intro to Thats What They All Say. Often when gatekeepers are invoked in rap, it’s to decry the (white) executives, radio programmers, and members of the Recording Academy who prevent authentic music from truly succeeding, or, conversely, amplify the wrong things. But for Harlow, gatekeepers means Black men with impressive industry bona fides who vouch for him. Drama hosted the Gangsta Grillz mixtape series, where Lil Wayne did some of his most sublime work; Cannon produced a number of the highlights across those mixtapes; Lake managed both Drama and Cannon, along with the aughts R&B star Bobby Valentino for a period.

“I don't know if [credibility] is a requirement to have success, but it's important to me,” Harlow says. “When I was shopping around before I signed I wasn't like, ‘I’m not signing until I find some Black gatekeepers.’ But I’m proud to be signed to them.” Cannon says “gatekeeper is simply a word that says, ‘Hey, you belong here’”; Lake says that Harlow is “driven and trying to move in an urban space, and one thing that I appreciate about him is he's open to a conversation.”

A successful white rapper will always have to reckon with the fact that their skin color lends a commercial advantage. But these are times of particularly intense scrutiny about the ethics of cultural appropriation. The release of the artwork for Thats What They All Say, which depicts Harlow signing autographs for a racially diverse group of children while sitting in a luxury vehicle next to a faceless brown-skinned woman, prompted much ado on social media. But rather than, say, rush out a Macklemore-esque apology, he’s not sweating it. Harlow’s touch stays light.

Not everyone has welcomed his rise: In 2019, labelmate Lil Uzi Vert posted a photo on Instagram of Harlow with a clown emoji superimposed over his face after Harlow made his support of the label clear in response to Vert’s criticism of it. (Lake says he appreciates Harlow’s solidarity.)

Suit, $1,850, by Grayscale / Turtleneck, $590, by Thom Browne / Boots, $515, by Raf Simons / Watch (throughout), his own, by Rolex / Ring (throughout), his own

Harlow wants his name (and debut) to be mentioned among greats like Drake and Kendrick. The wide audiences they found and the respect they commanded for their technical abilities—he wants those things too. Drama, Cannon and Lake push him: 48 hours before Thats What They All Say was supposed to be completed, Harlow says Drama told him that “the greats would do a new intro.” In the final hour, Harlow recorded “Rendezvous,” a bars-forward salvo that sets the tone for the level of candor found in the album’s best moments. Cannon, who thinks “all the greats are honest,” encouraged him to rap with increasing frankess—a key skill in the age of the vulnerable rapper. “Nobody really knows who you are,” Cannon remembers telling him. “We have to know who you are, whether we like it or not. Whatever comes out, that's going to be our truth.”

Thats What They All Say is a concise coming-of-age story that marks significant improvement from his previous work. He’s trying the right amount, and the humor feels natural rather than overdetermined. When he raps with Lil Baby, the star of hip-hop in 2020, he doesn’t sound out of place. But above all, the project is animated by Harlow’s belief that he can be “honest about anything.” That can mean sexual adventures like the story of the bottle girl, or mishaps like the digital-era tragedy on “Way Out”: “I’m in the mountains out west on the tour bus texting a chick I used to mess with/Got her in the bed doing video shoots, tried to send one to me but it didn’t go through: damn.”

But Harlow can also be reflective about his flaws (he’s been seeing a therapist recently). He recounts running into someone he used to sleep with at a party for over two-and-a-half minutes on “Funny Seeing You Here,” an X-ray of early-twenties awkwardness that culminates with Harlow’s admission that, as a romantic partner, he can fall short:

You used to say her man was trash and tell me about the way he’d act

I would shake my head until I realized I’m the same as that

Now I wonder do she tell her man that I’m a trash dude

And would he shake his head until he realized that he was trash too?

On the album’s outro, “Baxter Avenue,” he stops pondering the vicissitudes of casual humping and turns his attention to race and his mixed crew. “Always wondered to myself if I could really be the leader to a group of brown-skinned boys when I’m not brown-skinned,” he raps before clocking the differences in their upbringings. Sounding genuinely unsure, he raps about wanting to share his success and wealth, and wonders what it would look like to do that fairly. He says it’s the kind of song that will be “tough to sit in a room and have other people hear.” According to Cannon, that’s exactly the sort of honesty he pushed Harlow toward.

Watch Now:

Jack Harlow Goes Undercover on Twitter, Instagram and Wikipedia

The song will start a conversation, something Harlow relishes. On the day he released the album artwork, the invite-only, audio-led social media app Clubhouse, which has become more and more popular as a gathering place for music industry real talk, hosted a vigorous debate about it. “I didn't tune in for a second,” Harlow says. “But a lot of people I’m close to did. There's no way we could have dressed that cover up, race-wise, without causing a discussion. If they had been all white, it would have been ‘Why are you whitewashing?’ If it had been all Black, it’s like, ‘Where’s the white people?’” Harlow thinks the cover reflects the city and scene he comes from. “If you come to our parties or the kickbacks we have with 20 people, it looks like [the cover].”

Lake chalks the conversation up to “everybody's in the house and has nothing but time.” Though he acknowledges that Harlow’s trio of label execs don’t always agree on his artwork choices, he says the critics “thought about [the artwork] in way more detail than Jack did. People that don't know Jack would maybe question it, but if you know him, that's him, 110%. He's a white artist in a Black genre, and he's attracted to women of all races, colors, creeds, everything.”

Painting, “Buster”, by Jaime CorumJacket, $2,850, and shirt, $875, by Louis Vuitton Men's / Pants, $820, by Off-White c/o Virgil Abloh

If you still take issue with his decision to cast a faceless Black woman as his love interest, the title is directed at you: Thats What They All Sayis meant to be an all-purpose retort. “It’s how I feel about any criticism or praise that I'm receiving,” Harlow says. “You really can't tell me anything I haven't heard before.”

Still, he does hear it. Though he’s stopped searching his name on Twitter, he hasn’t stopped reading his reviews and knows he’ll take in the latest round of press. (He doesn’t need the WiFi password to recall the 5.6 Pitchfork score for his 2019 release Confetti.) “I’m just too much of a narcissist,” he says. “I always catch ‘em.”

Blazer, $1,025, turtleneck, $750, and pants, $920, by Off-White c/o Virgil Abloh / Boots, $990, by Celine Homme by Hedi Slimane

At one point on Thats What They All Say, Harlow says that “all the rappers I love most at one point got called a fake.” Among others, he means Drake. From the occasional singing to the subject matter, Harlow is a student of the great Canadian, and he has Drake’s confidence too. Accusations of fakery never slowed Drake—he only became more powerful. Reflecting on Drake’s ability to overcome gives Harlow comfort. Like Drake, Harlow works hard at this. His seriousness is part of what makes it possible to root for him. That he’s more interested in reconnecting with the West Virginia bottle girl than trying to resolve the ills of the world with his music doesn’t hurt either.

Ross Scarano is a writer and editor from Pittsburgh.

PRODUCTION CREDITS: Styled by Metta Conchetta

Sent from my iPhone

[emmashouldbewriting]

are they banning it entirely?? they just banned it on government phones here, but grant shapps is apparently not giving up his tiktok addiction and it's hilarious. he's quite the star over there it seems

Buckle in, Emma. It's gonna get wild.

It's currently banned on government devices by presidential directive. Congress is considering legislation to ban it outright. There was a hearing today on the Hill with the TikTok CEO. If you've ever watched how Congress interviews or talks to the tech industry in a hearing, they ask really assholey gotcha questions (for instance -- "why are children on your app?" "we don't" "Then how come my 4 year old granddaughter was able to get an account?" "Because children will falsify data like they do to every other app and get around age screening. When we see that, we immediately block and ban the account." "Aha! You do let children into your app!" **not a direct quote but similar). They also never let the witness speak and will talk over him or purposely misconstrue his answers to craft the narrative they want.

The protests in France are more polite and civil than the way these legislators were treating the CEO.

Anyway, Congress is saying we need a TikTok ban because it's a matter of national security (too many Americans are using the app and China is stealing all of our data through the app). There are also two subplots/side stories:

1 -- too many Americans are getting the news from TikTok and not mainstream media channels (check out the East Palestine train crash and how social media dug up a ton of stories about Norfolk Southern that they tried to bury) so mainstream media is pissed that they're not getting ratings and Congress is pissed because they can't hide their shenanigans and power grabs anymore. *this is the quiet part they're not supposed to say but they do. Because they're all old assholey farts.*

2 -- Zuckerberg wants TikTok. He's wanted it for years and for his metaverse. (Psst...there's a reason why Instagram rolled out the reels and why reels are TikTok dupes.) So Zuck keeps going to ByteCube with offers to buy TikTok. ByteCube keeps telling him to go pound sand. Zuck went to Congress and whined about it. One of the proposals the US govt has on the table right now is an offer to ByteCube/China is that if they sell TikTok (or the North American branch) to a non-Chinese investor, then they won't ban TikTok. Gee, I wonder who's going to step up... This proposal has actually been leaked through 'official' channels to get the American public so riled up about it that we rise up against ByteCube/China to force the sale. But what our septuagenarians in Congress don't realize (*because they take his money*) is that Zuckerberg is more dangerous with our data, privacy, and farming than ByteCube has proven to be and there are protests now, but they're protests against Meta and Zuck that are causing Meta, FB, and IG stock to drop. *I mean, we might not have our shit together to protest as spectacularly as the French, but we can hit them where it'll hurt the worst: their bank accounts, because guess what. Most of them have stock in Meta, FB, and IG.*

I told you it was a ride.

i've read this about four times since it came in lol and i've also had my besties' input. i said to them a few days ago it STINKS of zuckerberg being butthurt that he's not on top anymore

like i get the whole china thing, i really do, but it's his shitty ass platforms with all their dumb 'suggested posts' I DON'T WANT TO SEE that are the problem. i hardly scroll on FB because none of them are mildly related to my interests and i can't turn them off!!!!

[randomnameless]

So much of these woes would've been avoided if the game bothered to show things instead of telling us. Cause I'm so sick of the lizards bad crap from these people who want to cling to preconceived biases, alternate truths and "death of the author".

But that's the main issue!

The game shows you/us/the player things, and yet says the contrary! And no one in the entire cast realises that, no, all those things you're spouting or buying are disapproved with 10 exemples here'n'there.

Imo, Clout in Nopes is hit the hardest with this, but we also have Nopes!Ferdie spouting shit about Kingdom nobles being all descendants of Crest bearers when, lo, it's more accurate in Adrestia than in the Kingdom!

Funny thought, I've seen yesterday on my dash a post reblogged by someone a Anakin and Padmé meme aboutnot liking people saying they hate canon (Anakin) and wondering (Padmé) if they hate them because they usually come up with cliché ideas and uninspired tropes.

And, it was hilarious because iirc the original poster of that, well, post, was someone who advocated for death of the author, how the CoS is totes the catholic church and theocracy etc etc and Supreme Leader opposes them because sapphic lord opposes conservatism/feudalism/religion/whatever etc etc.

Of course I'm not saying a transformative work sucks or doesn't - my motto has always been don't like, don't read - but when "Death of the Author" is used to parrot something as canon, as some people did (still do) I'm more annoyed.

Those games played hard in the "unreliable narrator" shit to make things sell, but I wonder, even without tea bags and dakimakuras, some people - as we've seen them do - would retrofit the game to fit in their narrative - remember the "Magvel dragons bad and the reason why the DK returned?"