#don't ask me about the pigeon I'm sleep deprived:)

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

[atomsminecraft]

Here are some stuff I got from incorrect quotes generator that I found funny

Fenn: Get in loser, we're going shopping.

Guy: This is a McDonald's drive thru.

Sherry: Fenn, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?

Fenn: My doctor just said I should avoid—

Sherry: Being a wuss? I agree.

Thoma: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Tino:

Tino: Why are you eating dirt?

Thoma: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Jasper: Is there something you would like to say, Guy?

Guy: Oh, there are SEVERAL things I would like to say.

Fenn: Is the pink panther a lion?

Grayson: Say that again but slower.

Fenn: I don’t get it.

Grayson: He’s a PANTHER.

Fenn: Is that a type of lion?

Grayson: No, it’s a fucking panther.

Fenn: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?

Grayson: AND LIONS ARE?!

Violet: Do you have any idea what you’re doing?

Fenn: Why start now?

Roy: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Grayson: Can't relate.

Violet: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Sherry: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-

Violet: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

Violet: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Violet: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Lou: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Tino: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Rio: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

Roy: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Toa: I hate you guys so much.

Violet: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

Roy: Eyy, homie!

Grayson: But then there's cootie...

Jasper: Die.

MC: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Thoma without them noticing?

Rio: Hey, Thoma, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Thoma: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

MC: ...

Lynt: The first time I ever got upset in front of Tino, they put their arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask them if they were hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

Tino: I was doing both, for your information.

Grayson: The first time Tino hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.

Sherry: I made tea.

MC: I don't want tea.

Sherry: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

MC: Then why did you tell me?

Sherry: It's a conversation starter.

MC: It's a horrible conversation starter.

Sherry: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Roy: Where are you going?

MC: Hell, eventually.

*In a group chat* Roy: A pegan just flew into my window.

Fenn: Pegan?

MC: A what?

Sherry: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan.

Thoma: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!

Sherry: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.

Thoma: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window.

Roy: I literally just made a typo-

Rio: Don’t stay up all night, Thoma. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Fenn: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.

Dia: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.

Lance: Wasps?

Sherry: Terriers?

Fenn: Sherry.

Mc: Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?

Violet: What? Like J F K W S Q X-

Mc: No, like, U R A Q T.

Violet: Awwww!

Fenn: Lance is playing hard to get.

Fenn: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Mc: ARE YOU-

Dia: Fucking.

Mc: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Dia: Fucking.

Mc: IDIOT!

Knight: …What was that?

Dia: Roy banned Mc from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

[thiefofcrows]

   The truth was that Kaz Brekker did care. He cared deep into his bones and throughout his difficult life, he'd gone on believing that revealing that he cared was dangerous. Now, however ... Kaz understood that danger depended on who was listening. Caring is what made people stay and, while he did believe that openly admitting to Matt that he cared likely wasn't dangerous ... old habits died hard.

❝I'm not some character from a children's story who steals from the rich to give to the poor,❞ said Kaz. He'd said much the same thing to Inej once, both leaning against the hull of the boat that had taken them to the Ice Court, the sea breeze encircling them. Kaz knew it wasn't entirely the truth; he wasn't a hero. He wasn't made to be one, nor did he try to pretend he was. Regardless, he did want to be better than people like Pekka Rollins, or Jan Van Eck — and he suspected he also would prefer to be better than the man who had clearly inflicted a great deal of suffering on Matt enough for him to escape. Another long sigh escaped him.

   ❝Ruthlessness has a time and a place, but you can't sustain a legacy on that alone. You don't ask for respect, loyalty — you earn it. And you can't genuinely earn those things with nothing but fear and cruelty, no matter if you're leading a band of cut throats and thieves or a bunch of pigeons who've never broken the law in their lives.❞ It was a round about way of accepting the compliment, but it was the best Matt was going to get for now.

As for the planning, that was something they could discuss another time. The idea that being given room to be human, to work within the confdes of how truly messy the world really was could make a considerable difference to what Matt was able to master expanded in Kaz's mind. He found himself wondering what else Matt would be capable of simply because his environment was more reasonable. If even then he still wasn't much for planning, that was fine — but passable skill was better than none. For now, he tucked such thoughts away.

   Kaz pushed himself off of the edge of his desk and limped around to the other side of it, standing in front of a large framed map. He pushed it up to reveal a safe, which he took a moment to open and pull out a stack of kruge. He pulled it back down into place with a faint click and then he limped back to where he'd been leaning. Kaz extended it to Matt to take. ❝Here — you did good work.❞ Kaz found himself hoping his words of praise, even if it wasn't as grandoise, would mean more to him this time. Once Matt took the kruge, he continued.

   ❝When you make mistakes, you tell me. If you get injured on a job, you take care of it, don't ignore it — if you need a healer, obviously I can get you one, it's fine to ask. No more hiding, no more lying. Familiarize yourself with the Barrel, the rooftops, but I hardly expect you to do it all in one night. Get some damn rest — you can't do your job well if you're sleep deprived.❞ Inej would've laughed at him for saying so, given his own track record, but ... Matt needed to stop with the all or nothing mindset. ❝Fair enough? ❞

 There was no doubt that Brekker’s words were genuine. Whatever he was saying, he meant it. Which didn’t mean it made it any easier for Long Zhi to wrap his head around it. All his life he’d been told that failure —no matter how small, or how good the rest of the job had been completed— was worthy of punishment. You were either perfect, or a failure. There was no in-between. And yet, Kaz told him that there was.

 “The Ice Court heist?” Now that one was most certainly a complete surprise. He didn’t know all the details, but even he knew it had been a big deal. He remembered the clan members talking about it for weeks. About how big of an achievement it was, how it should’ve been completely impossible, and how that had to have been the biggest heist anyone’s ever pulled off, not to mention how the Fjerdan’s were supposedly scrambling to try and cover it up. It had meant very little to Long Zhi then; after all, he had countless other things to worry about, and didn’t have the time to wonder about someone else’s achievements. But now he suddenly found himself incredibly curious. Perhaps he could bring it up some other time and learn a little more. It didn’t seem as though Kaz was entirely unwilling to talk about it.

 But… Another time, another place. For now, he hesitantly nodded his head at the other’s words. “Planning… Planning’s never been one of my strong suits. It’s not really something you can learn, either. No matter how hard you try. I just.. can’t come up with all of those elaborate plans in my head, let alone a bunch of backup plans. I’m better at following orders, at being told what to do. If something goes wrong, I can figure it out then and there, but that’s it. It used to drive him mad.” How can you be a leader, if you can’t lead? It had always been Long Zhi’s biggest failure, and it never got better. He never seemed to learn.  

 “I thought you were like him, you know.” He looked up at the other, once again studying his face; his hard lines, the sharp angles, and then the eyes that gave away that there was something softer underneath. A softness that had always been missing from Xiao Dan. “Ruthless and terrifying, using people as tools to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve, with no concern for their well-being. But you care. You care a lot. And you have morals. You don't treat people as commodities, as a way to make money. You're nothing like him.”