#don’t need to ts anything because every ship has been mentioned. great.
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remythologise · 3 years ago
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important question: which media properties would you cash in your "gay ships go canon" chips on?
Truly one of the most wonderful questions I’ve ever received, thank you so much anon.
So to begin our analysis let’s revisit our portfolio positions from June 2021 to see how our economic landscape has shifted. So obviously I’ve personally made new investments in Nandermo and TedTrent stocks, for example, and we’ve more broadly seen a big shift towards what I’d call ‘second-wave queerbait’ in the last few months. But that’s a pretty good overview of the market overall.
To start this analysis I’ll need to have a baseline fund to be investing from, so let’s say I have the equivalent of 5 ‘chips’ to cash in. I’ll also slightly modify the question to factor in likelihood of canon (if there was no likelihood of canon factor involved, for example, I’d invest more heavily in Geraskier). So let’s go bait by bait based on the ones I engage with or at least know about:
1. Destiel: Probably the trickiest one but also the most obvious to start with. In a very real way it’s already ‘gone canon’ and fandom stocks have already probably hit an all time high. Would I want Destiel to go fully canon? Absolutely. However, this show is functionally ‘over’, so investing here feels like pushing for a company that’s already declared bankruptcy. I would not invest in Destiel*.
2. Hannigram and Villaneve: Whether or not shows continue, these ships are already essentially canon in any meaningful way to the fanbase and audiences. I would not invest in Hannigram or Villaneve.
3. Aziraphale/Crowley: I don’t care for Neil Gaiman’s particular brand of bait-excusing, nor do I really think this being canon would alter the fandom or culture in any real way. I would not invest in Ineffable Baiting.
4. Nandermo: This is heading towards, if not already, canon, and stocks have already jumped accordingly. Minimal returns on a sure bet. I would not invest in Nandermo.
5. Supercorp: Genuinely WOULD have invested here if the show hadn’t just ended (bankruptcy). Despite never having seen the show, I think the cultural win here would have been huge for everyone. Disappointed that investment here is now pointless. I would not invest in Supercorp.
6. Any MCU Ship At All: bankruptcy and/or insufferable fandom. Wouldn’t put my money in Disney if you paid me. No chance of any big ship going canon. I would not invest in the MCU.
7. Symbrock: Functionally the ‘MCU’ but already about as ‘canon’ as they’ll ever be. I would not invest in Symbrock because stocks have already jumped into canon territory.
8. Cherik: Functionally not the ‘MCU’ and functionally not ‘bankrupt’ since there can always be new films and properties, though it’s unlikely, and even more unlikely to ever be pushed into canon in the near to mid-term future. I would not invest in Cherik.
9. Merthur, Hilson, SilverFlint, XenaGabrielle, FinnPoe, and any other historical ships: Functionally bankrupt. Let’s just talk about the ones with actual possibility.
10. Sterek and Johnlock: have to be mentioned separately as tumblr tentpoles that I feel differently about to the above, and for the fact that revivals of these seem more possible. Almost tempted by how fucking funny the fallout and drama and fandom revivals would be but I’d rather die than invest my canon chips here.
11. Buddie: Deep down I think 911 is too ridiculously popular and Mainstream-America to make it canon. Nor do I think the results would be particularly game-changing, even if it were. Call me a cynic, but I would not invest in Buddie.
12. Geraskier: Unfortunately the odds on this one being reciprocated are insurmountable because of existing canon and core demographics. I would not invest in Geraskier, though I dearly want to, it’s already as canon as it would get. (As much as I dream of the total havoc that Geralt/Jaskier canon would wreak on reddit. Oh, if I were a billionaire, with enough chips…)
13. Tom/Greg: This is not a ‘ship’ this is a toxic, complex relationship on a well-written show that I trust to be engaging no matter what they do with it. I would not invest in TomGreg.
14. MacDennis: Don’t watch this show but overall from what I hear from those who do the ship vibes are Yikes. I would not invest in MacDennis.
15. Harry/Kim: Likely to be bankrupt as the sequel won’t feature them as protagonists. If it somehow isn’t bankrupt I’ll find more chips to use because we absolutely deserve any potential sex scene to be about them specifically.
16. WB Holmes/Watson: This is EXACTLY the perfect kind of investment opportunity you dream about. The odds here seem impossible because of how mainstream these films are, but the actors would be willing, the bait keeps increasing towards the canon singularity, and it would fundamentally shift culture in a huge way. I WOULD INVEST IN WB HOLMES/WATSON.
17. Kotetsu/Barnaby: Now I know a lot of you will ask ‘what are you talking about’. But this isn’t about you, this is about me and my personal chip supply. In a post-Yuri-on-Ice world, anything is possible, and I firmly believe in those possibilities !!! March 2022 I believe in you!!! I WOULD INVEST IN TAIBUNI.
18. Ted/Trent: While I don’t care for this ship as much as others on this list, I think culturally I want to cash in my chips here. The impact of having the Apple TV+ show EVERYONE is watching go for Ted/Trent rather than anything else? You Want To See It. Would improve the show monumentally, too. I invested here when stocks were barely worth anything, and look at me now. Big Risk, Big Returns. I WOULD INVEST IN TED/TRENT.
19. Kirk/Spock: It’s What They Deserve. After all these years.. if there’s any true logic to the universe, Star Trek would embrace its legacy of boldy going where no franchise has gone before. Now THAT’S a ship that deserves to be canon. I WOULD INVEST IN KIRK/SPOCK.
20. *Destiel, again: You know what. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how low or high the odds are. There’s a CHANCE there will be a continuation one day and a CHANCE it will be reciprocated. We have to put our money into what we believe in sometimes, no matter how risky the odds… after all, who would have believed we’d get this far to begin with? I WOULD INVEST IN DESTIEL!!!!
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govtjobsoneblog-blog · 7 years ago
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