#don’t mind me just venting about stuff I’ve seen ppl say about them

[bi-dykes]

“Harlivy are lesbians, Joker literally abused Harley and Jason literally abused Ivy, there was no love there” I see where you’re coming from since Jarley and JasonIvy are horrid and disgusting abuse, however 1) Harlivy are bisexuals so at the very most you could only say “I wish they were lesbians instead” or “I don’t like how the writers wrote them” (mind you there’s biphobia in both of these statements too… but at least you won’t be just entirely incorrect and going off canon) and,

2) You are… forgetting a very pivotal part of abuse. That some, if not most victims often love and are attracted to and care about their abuser and cannot imagine why at all the person they adore wants to hurt them. It becomes a vicious cycle of hoping they will become better for you and they never will. By saying that Harlivy are lesbians and not bisexuals bc they “chose” to be in unsafe situations, you are beginning to add to the narrative that bi women “deserve what they have coming”. Bisexual women have higher domestic violence, abuse, and sexual assault rates than straight women and lesbians, so saying that Harlivy can’t be bi bc they have been abused is like saying that calicos can’t be felines because they’re cats. and,

3. Jarley and JasonIvy aside since they’re abusive, what about these absolute malewifes? Scrunguses who would take their bi girls to pride. They’d watch Barbie with their gf’s and rob a bank to pay for their manicures. They would give Harley and Ivy lemon bars and kittens. Look at them. In the disastrous case that Harley and Ivy somehow don’t end up together, it would be cute to imagine they had these supportive bf’s in another life. and,

4. The idea that two women who escaped shitty men and blossomed a relationship with one another can only be a story for lesbian characters is a very monosexist take for… no good reason to be honest. Harlivy can still be super wlw super sapphic, the girlfriends to ever girlfriends, and still be bisexual. Their bisexuality isn’t stoping anything.

[custom-emojis]

genq do you ever wonder if it’s like. worth it. bc if i were y’all id have deleted my entire social media presence 12x over by now

Oh every fucking day. Y’all have no idea 😂 like I don’t wanna complain or seem all woe is me. But i have considered burning this blog to the ground multiple times and especially lately it really does kinda take a toll on me. Here’s a list of various things I deal with due to this blog AND it’s associated discord;

I cannot talk about any of my interests or opinions lest be ripped apart and have my income demolished

People purposely going out of their way to trigger me? For some reason

Blatant transphobia and misgendering ? For some reason?

Death threats????? For some reason???????

Directly being told I deserved and likely enjoyed my abuse

Having my content stolen, reuploaded and edited near constantly

Having said stolen content made into stickers and sold on websites like Aliexpress where I can’t get them taken down

People making literal hate videos about me because I… expressed my sexuality?

This is lesser but. A lot of people just fucking demand content straight up? No thanks, no please. Not even context. I get a lot of asks that are just ‘x emoji’ or just a single word of what they want with no explanation.

People coming into my DMs and just venting and traumadumping to me COMPLETELY unprompted when I’d never talked to them in my life because I’m ‘popular’ and I guess that’s just acceptable to them?

People entirely only interacting with me with the intentions of boosting their own shit / getting stuff out of it ?? Which like idk I don’t mind helping people out but I would prefer if ppl also like. Interacted outside of that

People going out of their way to just straight up ask my discourse opinions? Or just straight up telling me theirs! No matter how many times I say it’s a trigger and that I want no part in it. Similarly, people just fucking assigning a discourse opinion to me that they feel fits best and spreading that as if it’s fact when I’ve not said anything about it.

People just. Straight up thinking I’m their best friend? Or even being actively affectionate or even romantic towards me when we’ve never interacted before?

A whole slew of the weird and absolutely absurd shit ppl send to me on anon. If you’ve followed me for any amount of time you’ve surely seen some

People like. Obsessing and idolizing my relationships? Like it gets really creepy sometimes how much ppl get rly into my dating life. ^^;

And like. That’s just what I thought up on the fly with my husband. And sure to an extent some of this is just tumblr being tumblr. Or people being shitty. But the fact all this happens and revolves around an emoji blog is a little wild. Don’t get me wrong- I love running this blog. And I will continue to. I definitely think the pros outweigh the cons. But I also think a lot of ppl don’t quite realize how much comes from it bc I really don’t post as much abt the bad as I used to. Ppl… complained abt it lol ppl complained abt me answering anon hate and complained that I posted negative content at all, so I just stopped unless I feel it’s

Important

Funny or I can make fun of them

Something I need to set a hard boundary on.

Anyways I didn’t rly expect to go on such a rant. I’ve just been super burnt out and thinking abt this a lot lately. I don’t plan to stop doing it anytime soon but I’ve been trying to kinda. Be a bit more stern on shit and hold my ground a bit more. Thanks for the ask honestly, gave me a reason to sit down and explain some of this.

[ringmyheart]

hey, i was wondering if i could hv headcanons with how to fight characters? maybe when their crush's parents scold them for getting bad score at school, like that time at the end of the semester. pls do it with seong taehoon and jiyeon woo. thank you! 🥺

SEONG TAEHOON

The first thing he’s gonna do honestly is tell u to fight ur parents. U tell him about how u got a bad score and how it’s the end of the semester and the test/ur overall grade was important and he’s so used to living life the way HE wants he tells u to just. Fight them

And you’re first thought 2 say is idk how to fight? Bc what he said is just so sudden and kinda preposterous and ur upset and he’s like okay, I’ll teach u then and ur like I’m not fighting my parents 😭 and he goes okay then I’LL do it

And u have to rlly reiterate like” NOBODY is fighting my parents” first and foremost and after that he kind of just goes silent because he has no idea how to help you or what to do and u have knocked every idea he’s offered out of the park

Truthfully I don’t think he cares about grades too much for himself and this extends to you too. He doesn’t get why you’re so concerned, and his dad (I’m pretty sure form what we’ve seen so far) is really nice and laidback so it’s not like he’s ever being reprimanded so he’s also partfully angry at your parents bc they made u upset

Like rlly angry LMAO and as ur ranting to him ab how they yelled at u for bad grades he’s just like one day… one day he’s gna fight them 😐 he doesn’t make exceptions. He might tell u to tell them to watch out LMAO but he says it so dead seriously and u laugh but wonder if he’s even joking ?

He’s like okay well have u considered: running away

And u quickly dismiss that idea too bc u have nowhere to go and it’s literally just them scolding u ur like it’s not THAT srs... I’m just upset and he’s like u have a place to sta... nvm he’s not gonna b sweet if it’s not like absolutely necessary LOL

Bc of his lack of understanding or just overall interest in this kind of stuff, he just listens to u bc his advice clearly wasn’t cutting it for u.

He asks to see the grade and u hand him the test or the grade folder and it if ur grades weren’t even that bad, he’s gonna get frustrated w you and be like u have gotta b kidding me this is what ur stressed about 😐 what ur parents yelled at u for?? And he smacks u on the side of ur head and is like please tell me ur joking these are good. Anything above a C in his eyes is still really good

If ur grades were a D, he’s like neutral like okay yeah it was kinda bad but not the worst, don’t stress about it I’ve gotten tons of D’s.

And if it was an F he’s like oh okay yeah it was pretty bad like I get it. But this would just make things worse and ur like ur right I did so baaad and he’s like nonono oh no it’s not like that and he like stiffens and goes quiet when u get misty eyed I guess and wonders once again why this is so serious to you?? Who cares about grades?

He probably gets mad ur letting other ppl control ur life. We’ve seen that he hates other ppl living their lives for others or by others rules and he’s kinda frustrated at you and wishes he could just take over u for a day or something and tell ur parents off and ur talking about it and he’s narrowing his eyes at you but ur clearly upset so he’s not gonna yell at u rn. When u feel better ab this he probably will tell you to stop living by others standards but for now he’s kinda lost

He tries to convince u to rise up against ur parents and is like “are u gonna keep letting people in ur life control u?!” And it’s like a motivational pep talk and ur like “no!” And he’s like “are you gonna let THEM yell at you and hurt YOUR feelings?! Cause I sure as hell am not!” And ur getting more energetic and r like “me neither!” And he’s like “are you gonna let ur own PARENTS talk to YOU like that?!” And u go “no!!” Nd he’s like “we r sick of it!!” And u go “ya we r 😭” and then he thinks ur on board so he’s like good!! Let’s go beat ur parents

And ur like “what” and he realizes u weren’t on the same page the entire time so he eventually bedgrudginly will lie that idea go

And he tells you this, like he says it won’t matter in seven years, right?? So why does it matter? Pls cheer up and be doesnt outright say this but he’s like “don’t worry ur pretty little head about it” or something to cheer u up

If it works and he successfully consoles u he is rlly happy and doesn’t show it but he’ll shove his hands in his pockets and go “see?? I told you. I’m good at this advice thing.”

If it doesn’t, he’ll try to take ur mind off it and he probably just shows u his spinning back kick or something LMAO or take u to the dojo so u can either do stuff w him or just watch

But if u tell him what ur upset about isn’t grades but ur parents, he’ll listen to u tell him what they told u if it was mean or strict and if it’s rlly bad his eyes will go bloodshot and he’ll roll up his sleeves and be like okay let me at them then

Literally don’t even JOKE ab him beating up ur parents he will do it 😭😭 and worse thing is he’ll WIN. Don’t even be like “yeah I wish u would beat them up for me” bc he doesn’t draw the line between u joking and him actually doing it probably. Even if he knows ur joking, which he will bc he’s not dense he’ll use it against u and be like u have me permission and suddenly ur the instigator

He listens to u rant about them if u just want a listener and he can probably tell by ur body language… like If ur clearly wanting advice, he’ll offer u the best he can and will tell you to stick up for yourself or, if you’re really upset he’ll even consider talking to them for u. No fists to his chagrin but he’ll advocate for u and he won’t plan beforehand at all he’ll just say “I think u need 2 be nicer to ur child.” And will be like “this shit doesn’t even matter anyways” and will rip the test paper in front of them so this option is obviously not even a choice for you

If u start to cry he’ll first awkwardly do that thing that people do when they don’t know how to console someone and rub your arm and he’s like “Uhh, do u want water?” Bc he’s sad bc UR sad and doesn’t know what to do and it’s like what he’s doing isn’t that helpful but the tone in his voice is v consoling and comforting bc he’s suddenly kinda quiet 4 once

If ur sobbing he’ll hold u and u cry into his shirt and later he’ll talk about how you got it all wet but like when he goes home in the mirror and sees the tear stains it reminds him ur hurt and breaks his heart

He will study with you. And by studying it’s just him like sitting with you while you study. He doesn’t think you should study but if that’s how you want to solve this and feel better he’s down. He won’t read anything but if u have flash cards he will read them back to you and ask u questions and he doesn’t know the right answer himself (unless it’s math he’s probably rlly rlly good at math.) so u have to write them on the back. But he’s pretty good at helping u study

And if ur doing flash cards, he won’t tell u the answer until u guess it and he’s good at hinting to it and he gets annoyed VERY easily when ur not saying the answer u wrote on the back but bites it down

If ur parents make u stay home more and study as like a consequence of gettig a bad grade, he won’t have any of it

He will either confront ur parents and that either makes things somewhat better or incredibly worse

So if that’s what happens he’ll text u a lot and face time u in secret and call u a lot so even tho ur not together, every time u come home from school and open a book ur phone is hidden in the bend of it and ur fting and sometimes u don’t even talk he’s just FaceTiming u so u won’t b alone while u study and bc he misses u

Overall, he really couldn’t give a shit about grades but if need be, he’ll help u with urs, he’d be the best math tutor if ur looking, if ur parents lock u up a lot to study more bc they’re mad he will use any other option to see u, and he’ll try his best to console u despite not being that knowledgeable or understanding why you’re upset. His go to comfort option is distraction, but if it’s futile he’ll do whatever it is u wanna do. If u thank him for helping u he’ll kick something and will b like “yeah whatever I was just sick of u moping around.”

JIYEON WOO

He understands what’s going on with you all too well. When you tell him ur parents scolded u bc u didn’t do so hot in a test or ur overall grades this semester, it’s like his heart is a weight that drops into his stomach and ties his intestine into a huge knot. Like he feels the dread set in

He’s takes a muuuuchhhh more calm approach than Taehoon tbh, like while ur talking he won’t say a word and will listen. He is SUCHHH a good listener and especially now he’s just staring at you and nodding his head to let you know he’s listening to make sure u know that like he is there and present and if ur sad he’s sad too like u guys r a “team”

While ur venting, if u begin to cry he’ll let u and he’s more of a “rub-ur-back-soothingly” type of consoler so he’ll do that and if u half hug him he’ll continue do it but he’s looking at u w the saddest eyes in the world ☹️

Doesn’t rlly know what to do at first besides listen and b nice

He might even get misty eyed with u too bc he understands so much. But he won’t bring up his home situation at ALL, it’s like ur stage and he’s just a listener, he won’t make u feel like he’s comparing ur pain

His fist clenched at his side because he’s angry at your parents AND his and he’s imagining what ur parents said in his mind and even if it wasn’t that bad, he’s fuming

He might even offer to run away w u too and he “knows a place” 😭and ur like omg it’s not that bad but after reminiscing on his own home life he just assumes you’re as sick of it as him

If you’re his s/o, you obviously know about his YouTube streams, so that week at the end of every stream he’ll take a risk and unmute it and go “and don’t worry about grades too much, guys :)” and ur “guys”

Either that or he’ll do something so he will stop streaming completely for that week bc it might make u feel like he’s rubbing it in ur face how much he studies nd how studious he is and yes it gets him in trouble w his dad but when u start to feel better ab ur grades and u smile and he’s like “I thought u were upset?” And u say “oh, yeah… I’m feeling better now :)” it’s all worth it

Since he’s so consumed w streaming if u weren’t able to ever meet in person, and u had to FaceTime or text him, he probably spams u and u guys have to text at like 3am bc he’s studying all other hours of the day so he’s under his covers and reading or calling u

Like it goes

‘My parents got mad at me bc I got bad grades :(((‘ and then he sees the text he reads it and then again and is like oh no bc is it like his situation???

And then u go get a snack or something and go MIA during texting but he doesn’t know that so he spams u bc he thinks that maybe ur parents took ur phone and r locking u up like his did him so he’s like

‘Are you okay?’

‘Hello…?’

‘Where did you go? :(‘

‘Are you okay?’

‘Please be okay…’

‘(Y/n)?’

And if he suspects ur parents took ur phone and r gonna read this he sends things a very lengthy and persuasive text that explains why this is cruel and unusual and to PLS give u ur phone back and then it says seen and ur like it’s still me :)) I’m okay but thx for worrying 😭❤️

And he’s like ‘thank god…’

Since he’s a part of that newtube company (XY or something? I forgot HAHA), he has connections honestly??? So if you’re that torn over this grade he might try and pull some strings to improve your grade, make classes easier or to reach your parents even. Like he affects his parents’ boss which then butterfly effects to you

Assures you that grades aren’t that important, or tries to, but it’s so horrible coming from him because he has such good grades and it always is gonna feel like he’s just saying that no matter what

If he could he’d fail a test too to make u feel better and like ur in it together but his dad would MURDER him. So he just tries to tell u it’s okay and graders aren’t that bad

If ur mostly upset over the bad grade, he’s like it’s fine, and even if it’s a grade he genuinely considers bad he’ll look at it like “...” before going this is fine too!! :) and in his mind he’s like if I got this my dad would kill me but would NOT tell you that EVERRR. He’s gonna do anything to preserve ur feeling rn and the next few weeks he’s especially nice to u

Will study with you to make you feel better but it’s hard because he’s really far ahead tbh :(( like he explains assuming u already have some ground knowledge. BUT he’s really good at being patient so if ur like I don’t understand and get frustrated he’s like “oh I’m sorry!!! Here, I’ll go over it again.”

U guys start spending time at the library and when his dad questions him he’s like I’m studying and he really is and it’s like a study date and it actually ends up being RLLY fun

Might even print u worksheets and stuff and leaves nice notes on them when he gives them to u like every chapter has another ‘u can do it’ of ‘ur already here?! Omg! Ur far ahead keep going!’ And lots of smiley faces and hearts in the margins

He is not above helping u cheat. He will give u answers in school, risking being caught nd getting in trouble, like he’ll find a way to sit as close to u as possible in class and “drop” his pen besides u that just happens to have a paper inside with all of the answers!!!!

And when you see it you’re so happy and you look at him and wink trying it be inconspicuous and it’s so obvious and he’s like omg (y/n) pls… but he’s happy ur happy and ur grades improve so much bc he gets every answer right and so of course you are getting them right too

But u both plan on u getting a few wrong to avoid suspicion and he’s so happy when ur happy bc ur grades improve so he’ll start sending u the HW, too

Will send u just study notes if u don’t want to cheat and they r so good and he’ll also send u his flash cards and everything and lend u notes from the past

He knows ur YouTube username so if u start to study a lot more bc of ur parents’ scolding and watch his streams to “study” w him despite the million viewers it’s like it’s just u nd him and when u comment like “here bc my parents yelled @ me and now im trying to improve my grades” he is simultaneously v happy ur there but also heart broken

If it’s mainly ur parents scolding u ur upset about, he’ll listen to u talk about it for hours on end over text, FaceTime, call, etc.

Makes a joke ab sending ur parents to the nursing home he volunteers at to cheer u up 😭😭 it either makes u son harder or laugh

Overall, he cares LOTS about grades, but his not urs. And if ur worried ab getting a job he’s like dw I’ll cover u in the future :)) and he’s very understanding bc he’s in a very similar situation and hates seeing u suffer like that or go thru that even if it’s genuinely not that bad. If u cry his works just SHATTERS and he’ll listen to u rant and cry for hours on end. And if ur grades were actually considerably bad, he won’t tell u that, and he’ll help u improve them bc THATS his solution to it and he’s good at helping u study. If ur not up to it he will help u cheat despite the danger of getting caught, so he can see u happy again :(( he’s rlly so sad ur going thru the same thing as him and will do anything to make it better. Won’t offer to fight ur parents but if need be he might rough one of them up if things escalate to really like mentally abusive-like proportions. But if it wasn’t that bad, he’ll just console u and help u to feel better no matter what !!

(Unedited)

I hope this came out well!! I’m so happy I’m getting how to fight requests tysm for that, <3 also it ended up kinda long and I lost my train of thought a few times but this felt like an emergency request and when I read those I like when they’re rlly long bc it distracts and comforts me. If it was one I hope ur okay and know u r more than ur grades!!!! ❤️❤️ ty for ur request :))

[golbrocklovely]

You're very stubborn too, i noticed. You have your opinions and no matter what people tell you they're not going to change your mind. Your replies often seem very dry and cut because you want to be nice but at the same time no matter what people say you see things the way you see things and will not be persuaded otherwise. You answer asks because you dont want a bunch of unanswered asks in your inbox but in reality you dont care about a lot of the stuff that gets sent in because you already have your mind set.

This is not an attack just an observation.

i mean... you're not wrong lol

i know i'm stubborn and i have my beliefs set on certain things and people. but i don't see that as a problem because i believe everyone can be stubborn about something.

we all have our set opinions about things. we all have "unpopular opinions" too.

for example, guacamole is gross. salsa is superior. you cannot tell me otherwise.

but to get back onto what you were saying...

i have my ask box open and on anon because i want ppl to come on here and vent their frustrations about whatever fanbase they are in. that's why i get asks about fanbases i've either never heard of or don't have opinions on.

i know what it's like to go against the grain when it comes to fandom opinions and thus feel like you can't say what you want to because you know you're gonna get hate. no one deserves that. even ppl who i fully disagree with that come on here and send in an ask, i'm never gonna be mean to them. i will be cut and dry, but i won't be rude.

that being said, there are certain situations that happen that i just, full-heartedly and transparently, don't have opinions on. it could be because i don't know the situation that well and are only going off of what the person sent in, or it could be that i don't know the influencer that well, and thus can't tell if this is a pattern to watch out for or just a one-off time they weren't at their best.

because that's how i feel for most influencers; not all, but most. we get a miniscule look into any influencers' lives on the semi-regular. there are gonna be times when they don't act at their best. there are gonna be times when they fuck up and do something wrong. does that give us the right to full on hate them now because of one fuck up? it depends on whether or not that fuck up was terrible and unforgivable, or just a random everyday-type of fuck up.

you wouldn't want ppl to hate you for one screw up, right?

let me use the example of tara and the previous asks i've been getting about what she did on jc's stream, since this has been the only time i've ever fully said 'i don't care about this situation'. now, i have a generally positive outlook towards tara. i like her content. i don't watch it that regularly to call myself a fan, but i do like it. i also like her relationship with jake, and i think overall i like her and her personality. that being said, from what i've been told about what she did on jc's stream, do i like what she did? no. cursing out his chat and maybe being overdramatic wasn't the best thing for her to do. if i was in her shoes, i wouldn't have played the game in the first place, but that doesn't matter. she knew what the game was and then didn't want to play it, but wanted the benefits. i get how that could upset someone.

do i now have a negative opinion about her because, to put it bluntly, she was a sore loser and stubborn? no. i still like her. what she did was forgivable. it's a one off time of her not being nice. i'm not gonna hate her now because of it. i also don't see these things as negative because i am these things as well lol

not to mention, i haven't even seen the stream. so yall could be full on lying to me (i don't think you are, but it's always a possibility). and because i know how good of a person she is, or at least i believe her to be, i'm not gonna change my opinion of her. if she acted like this all the time, then i would consider not being so positive towards her. but, that's not the case.

and also, because i'm not a huge fan of her, i don't care how she acted. i care that you guys are upset at what she did. i feel for you. that doesn't now mean i have to hate her. what she did didn't negatively effect me, and thus i don't have a full emotional opinion about it.

but if you do, you're allowed to feel that way. even if you didn't see the stream, don't know who she is, whatever the circumstance, you're allowed to be upset at her and now dislike her. i'm not saying you can't. i'm just saying because i don't care about the situation that much, i'm not gonna change my opinion about her.

i wanna make this clear that i don't really hate anyone that snc associates with, besides elton and brennen. those are the only two i dislike. but everyone else, i have positive feelings towards. that being said, i'm not a fan of them. i don't mean that negatively, i just mean i don't watch their content, don't follow, and don't really know anything about them. when you guys send in asks about these ppl that are negative/them doing something to upset you, i feel for you. i'm upset that you're upset. that's why i usually tell ppl that if an influencer is pissing you off at every turn, cut the tie. stop following them.

but unless the person did something morally corrupt or just super wrong imo, i'm not gonna hate them or change my feelings towards them.

have you ever looked at a gossip magazine cover and read the headlines and didn't have reaction towards any of them? that's how i feel for a lot of things influencers do.

if that makes me stubborn, so be it.

[howelljenkins]

do you have any advice for ppl in majority white fandoms trying to...just enjoy it??? im in a few and normally everything is fine but recently when somebody points out something like whitewashing a character they get shut down and he rest of her popular blogs/ppl just, ignore it. they act like it's not a important conversation or try to stray away. and it's INFURIATING bc these ppl have had week long discourse abt whether a character had CHEST HAIR!!! part 1

but for some reason they can't talk abt how valid accusations of whitewashing may be? this paired with the fact that I recently found out the author has been called out for writing a book that was super racist towards asians and biracial ppl and NOBODY had ever mentioned it before AND that none of the popular bloggers said anything abt blm all through june bc "their blogs were safe spaces" and they didn't talk abt "political stuff" on there. part 2 im SO sorry this was such a long ask but I've just seen how well u manage to handle things like his in the pjo fandom with the help of other fans of color and i just was wondering if u could give any advice bc i... Have No Idea how to handle this. part 3, the end

it’s frustrating and it’s infuriating and at times it makes me want to rip my hair out. I know what you mean and it burns me up inside seeing the same people who reblog a cute little blm graphic focus for weeks at a time on discourse about insignificant details completely ignore actual legitimate issues.

I think the best advice I could give you is to become friends with your block and unfollow buttons. Sometimes, the coolest, funniest, smartest bloggers on your dash could be the same ones refusing to acknowledge issues or actively contributing to them. It sucks, but taking them off your dash is the first step to actively improving your online experience. Even if it’s a relatively small transgression on their part, it usually points to a bigger issue and you’ll probably be reminded of it every time you see them on your dash. It will suck and you will feel mean but at the end of the day it is YOUR dash and you shouldn’t feel stressed whenever you log on. Make boundaries and stick to them.

Another bit of advice I’d give (that was also echoed by most of black pjo discord when I asked if they had anything to add lol) is to find your people. Follow bloggers of color, form connections with like minded people. Not only does this help with feeling isolated, it also gives you a good place to vent because they probably go through the same thing. One good way to do this is to form discord groups (for example: black fandom discord, poc fandom discord, lgbt fandom discord, etc.).

and don’t feel like you have to hold yourself back! If you want to speak up or call someone/something out, do it. I rant on here all the time and so many things that I think are just me things tend to resonate and spread, and eventually they start to actually sink in to the overall fandom. A few years ago, people didn’t blink twice at white washed art, but it’s a lot better now that people have spoken up on it. HOWEVER, do not feel like you have to speak on everything and be a spokesperson because that is exhausting. but if you feel like you have something to say, say it.

I’m not going to lie to you though. Sometimes the negativity is so pervasive that you have to leave. I recently took like a break from tumblr and genuinely considered not coming back or just restarting my blog. I came back and decided to stay after doing a mass unfollow, but were it not for the people I interact with and enjoy seeing on my dash, I would’ve been long gone. If you unfollow and you block and you do everything you can and your dash still feels like a punch in the face, think about cutting your losses. take a break from tumblr and see how it feels. gauge whether you actually enjoy being online or if it’s become something that drains you now.

most important of all never ever ever let someone who is not affected by racism/sexism/homophobia/colorism/etc gaslight you or tell you you’re being overdramatic. ever. it is almost always to preserve their own comfort rather than to actually help you. trust your gut!! more often than not, it’s right.

[dearheart42regenerated]

hoo boy, okay, this is a baaaaad idea and it’s LONG but I’m doing it anyway because I’m genuinely struggling with this, I don’t have an IRL community to turn to, and I want to hear what other lesbians/wlw think about this beyond my own tiny circle. (for the record I’m not a discourse blog, so pleeeease be gentle and don’t drag me into any super messy debates? the most I want to do is get opinions from different people and learn enough to come to my own private conclusions and move on)

I’m a bby lesbian (and a long-time ace) and the “bi-lesbian” thing upsets me too. but I’ve seen an argument brought up that made me stop and think, and I’m kinda stumped about it. the argument is that we're ALREADY using lesbian as an umbrella term, but only get upset about it when bi women do the same. 

for example...when we see a wlw couple walking down the street or getting married, or two women kissing in a TV show or pictures shown on twitter (much like the cute “sword lesbians” story that’s been circulating), MOST of the time, everyone (including us!) tends to automatically call them “lesbians” or a "lesbian couple” or a “lesbian wedding”, etc...without thinking about what their actual orientations are.

I saw another person bring up an experience where her lesbian gf would joke about them "doing lesbianism babey!" but when she tried to do the same as a bi woman, her gf would get mad at her and say she couldn't do that. the main point of all of this is that there's hypocrisy in play - when lesbians put the "lesbian" label on other women, whether irl or fiction, most people don’t kick up a fuss. but when bi women use the label themselves, suddenly it's bad and lesbophobic/biphobic.

this troubles me because I DO see it happen all the time, both online and in the few irl experiences I’ve had. and I think it's a valid point to make (especially because "sapphic" is barely used irl at all). it feels unfair to use "lesbian" with the same-ish looseness we use "gay", and then draw the line at bi women using it too. (there’s also a very real problem of bi ppl with same-gender partners turning to “Gay And Lesbian” spaces cos they have nowhere else to turn, and getting kicked out for not being a “real gay”. there are tangible real-life layers to this discourse that I don’t want to brush off.)

but at the same time, "lesbian" is the only modern word we have (particularly our only mainstream word) to describe our full, unique experience as women who are exclusively attracted to other women/women-aligned people. bi women already have “bisexual” as their recognizable mainstream term, and they also have “queer”, “wlw”, “sapphic”, etc as further options to fine-tune their identity...so it feels just as unfair to use "lesbian” too, and that’s the main reason why the term “bi-lesbian” personally upsets me right now. 

it’s also upsetting because “bi-lesbian” implies that some lesbians could still be open to men, and we already face so much lesbophobic pressure to create space for men in our identity/attraction because “you never know, you might feel attracted to a man someday! sexuality is always fluid y’know! maybe you’re not really a lesbian!” we get that pressure both from the outside world AND often from the rest of the LGBTQ+ community too. it’s really harmful and painful to deal with, especially for those of us who’ve had to deal with comphet and still do (aka meeeee)

putting the rest under a readmore cos this is getting long lol

I wish "bi lesbians” and their supporters would take that stuff into consideration...and I wish I saw more people caring in general about the lesbians who are hurting from this. 

we’re tired of having the worst assumed of us, of being treated as the “bad guys” by other communities every time we speak up about things that hurt us. statistically, we’re one of the smallest groups in the alphabet soup. we barely even have our own flag, and the creator of our most popular one right now is still facing hate, harassment and being unjustly accused of being a TERF/exclusionist/bigot. 

it feels like morale and pride are so low among us right now. we just want people to care about us, to be mindful of how we feel and what we go through as lesbians, to give us the same support and benefit-of-a-doubt that you so easily give to our other LGBTQ+ siblings. 

aaand now I’m just emotionally venting lol but TL;DR - I want to be fair to both sides of this topic, cos that’s the type of person I am. I want to stick up for my own community, but I also want to be inclusive to questioning/struggling people and a good ally to my bi sisters. so help me figure all this out. how do y’all feel about what I’ve brought up here?

lesbians and bi women: how do you feel about the point that we’re already using “lesbian” as a roughly gay-equivalent umbrella term for the women we see in relationships with other women? why shouldn’t bi women use it that way too? if they shouldn’t, why aren’t we pushing harder for alternatives like “sapphic” to use in those cases and telling each other to stop when one of us uses “lesbian” or “lesbianism” incorrectly for unspecified wlw couples?

pro-bi-lesbian people: asking in genuine confusion here, how is using the term “bi lesbian” any better than using “bihet” or “bi straight”? how is it not feeding into the misconception that bisexuals are just “half-gay half-straight”? and why is it worth holding onto that label when a) “bisexual” is a mainstream term that, by definition, already has room to encompass your experience, b) other more specific words that mean the same/similar thing already exist for you (i.e. “sapphic”), and c) your term of choice hurts lesbians by undermining our definition of ourselves and adding to the cultural pressure we face to make room for hypothetical future men in our sexuality?

also I want to make it very clear that I’m NOT blaming “bi lesbians” for men feeling entitled to seduce/harass us, or insinuating that you contribute to rape culture or anything like that. predatory men will be predatory no matter what words we use, I fully acknowledge that. rather my concern is that anyone can put pressure on us (and all too often do) to make room for men in our orientation, including within the LGBTQ+ community, and “bi lesbian” as a term contributes to that type of lesbophobia.

please be nice, or at least civil, and talk to me. I want to listen and see if your opinions will help me find some clarity in my own. you’re free to message me or reblog this with your takes on these issues, but if you reblog, please focus on talking with me and don’t fight each other. I will delete this if things get ugly or out of hand.

[symptoms-syndrome]

hey, i hope this is not too syscourse-y to ask (if it is feel free to ignore), but how do you not let syscourse get to you? i have most things related to it blacklisted but every once in a while i will come across posts where ppl talk about "being plural", being "a system" etc. in That Way and i ignore it every time but i have a hard time regrouping afterwards and keeping straight what is what even though i know what they discuss is different from what i have.

This probably won't be syscourse specific, since I sorta disengaged from online discoursing before I was diagnosed, but hopefully this will still be helpful.

I block tags, blogs, etc liberally

I feel like people act like it's some huge thing for you to block a blog when like...most of the time they don't even know you've blocked them. If I see something I don't like, I block the blog. I don't want someone I've seen have stupid takes in the past to add one to my posts, so I block in advance. Hell, you don't have to "be in the community" for anything if you don't want to. I've done whole social media purges where I unfollowed dozens of blogs of smth I was into because it was bringing me more stress than it was worth, and I just talked about that stuff with my small group of friends. Just because you don't engage with X on social media doesn't make you any less of a "real" X or whatever.

Consider why you're engaging in discourse

"Engaging," in this context, means anything from scrolling tags you know you'll find things that upset you, visiting blogs you know have takes you don't like, picking fights with people online, posting things you know will cause controversy just because you want someone to argue with you, etc. Is it because you're bored? Is it because you have aggression you want to get out? Is it because you don't feel secure in your opinion until you debate it with someone? Is it because you want to show that you have The Right Opinion? What need isn't being met that you're trying to fill by arguing with people online? There are other ways to fill that need.

Remember you don't have to get everyone to agree with you

Let me frame this with a little humblebrag: public speaking is something I am very good at. I have been paid to facilitate conversation around stuff like racism, mental health, etc. And this is to say, according to third parties, I am good enough at "discourse LARPing" that people are willing to pay me money for it. And yet, even when I use my most even tone and most eloquent arguments and provide direct sources etc etc etc, there are still people who will vehemently "no u." Online even more so, because since there isn't a face and a name along with a blog (usually,) people get more combative and more argumentative. At some point, you just have to give up and hope that some day later on, they'll reflect on what you said and possibly change their minds on their own. But they might not. But that's okay.

Know when it's appropriate to discourse

One of the worst experiences on Tumblr dot bad have been when you're venting about something, and someone you don't even know comes in with an "um, actually-", especially when it's something you already know. Sometimes ppl just gotta vent, and you have to respect that and let them.

Get a hobby

No seriously. I know it's a common like. Insult or whatever, but seriously. Find something else you're passionate about. Not to sound old beyond my age, but being on the internet too much is bad for you. Find something else to do so that Tumblr (or wherever else you're seeing these things u don't agree with) doesn't take up so much of your time.

Volunteer IRL for something you're passionate about

I used to be involved in soooo much discourse online, and then I started volunteering, then working, in IRL social justice spaces. Not only did this show me what parts of discourse were 100% online issues and thus...not really relevant at all IRL (and IMO not worth getting worked up about) but it also cemented in me the opinions that I REALLY care about, and strengthened them.

This last point I think is most important. Online discourse doesn't. Really ultimately change much. It's wayyy more stress than it's worth. When's the last time you felt accomplished or happy doing online discourse? For me, I don't think I ever did. I did it to get mad. But when you've actually organized that protest or finished that speaking engagement or whatever? You feel accomplished and happy, and like you've changed something. You get more positive feedback than negative, usually.

A lot of nonprofits you can just sign up to volunteer for, and a lot even give you training. Or just go to a protest and socialize and you'll find someone who has connections to something. I got my position at a nonprofit because I got confused about what time to arrive to their community center and just. Sat in on a meeting and then they asked if I was coming back next week. A lot of nonprofits are super open to new members, and are MUCH more forgiving than online discoursers. If you make a mistake you get gentle correction or helpful education instead of shaming. You don't even have to do it regularly if you don't like. Just stay away from the big corporate-y ones like Peace Corps or Americorps and stuff.

This is super messy I wrote it at work between breaks LMAO I'll probably revisit later, but LMK if this is helpful or u have any other questions or smth

[take-some-vampire-money-bro]

4 , 28 & 29 for trans asks 🐊

okie dokie here we go!

4. what do you do to perform self-care when you're feeling dysphoric?

hmmm that's a good question. I feel like since my dysphoria comes in a lot of different forms at different times it depends? These days I don't usually have severe dysphoric episodes, which is ironic bc im quarantined w my transphobic family. But when I used to in school from getting misgendered I would usually call Chris tbh. Or just try to vent to another trans person. And once in a while I'll look for trans positivity that helps me out a little. But other than that I don't think I have much of a set routine of what I do?? These days my dysphoria has been more subtle and like "ew I don't like this" rather than like going full depression mode. Like the back of my mind type of stuff. And idk how to deal w it??? I guess I just Try to find things to relate 2 and project my personal experience w transness on interests.

28. how do you feel about trans representation in media?

EXTREMELY important and very lacking. Like in movies the majority of what I find are only abt trans women, and all of those that I have seen are just flat out shitty and played by cis men 🤡🤡🤡

And it just makes me feel so invisible bc I don't see much of trans men in media. But one good example of ftm rep is on the show 911 Lonestar. It's a show basically abt firefighters. Has Rob Lowe starring it. I've only seen like 2 eps and it's not bad at all. They have a black trans man in the show, and though his transness is obviously not his focal point, I think it's so COOL how they portrayed the parts where they did mention it. He has this ability to read ppl and assess what kind of person they are because transphobia conditioned him to be careful and find out who they are before they clock him. And that's now a SKILL that he has and helps him get hired on the team. Like idk abt u but that's a gigantic mood and so telling of so many trans experiences. It's definitely sad that it's an outcome of such a terrible experience that he and the rest of trans folks shouldn't have even needed to face, but idk it makes me happy that he was able to take a positive out of that and use it to his advantage. Such a cool premise.

29. who is your favorite trans celebrity?

off the top of my head??? hhhhhhh id have to say laura jane grace just bc I dont know enough of them and the ones I do know of I haven't even seen their work or anything.

[tonyglowheart]

hey, y’all, so ik I mostly just stick to my own corner of Tumblr and I only have the vaguest clue of what’s going on beyond that, but just like...a quick reminder of what the Defense Squad is and is not? (disclaimer/caveats/w.e at end of post):

Is: defend Tony when ppl pull out factually incorrect stuff, especially if/when people start getting personal. Like historically, there was a time when being a Tony fan was so bad and we had to caveat with “yes we know he has flaws, but I still love him anyway” as if it were something we had to be ashamed of and Realize Was Wrong, and not just unabashedly like a fictional character?? And the defense squad was original pushback against that, like “yeah he’s got flaws, but so does your fave and that’s not a reason to tout your moral purity against ours.” Please do pick your battles, though, most of the time people are not going to change their minds just because someone came at them on an opinion they had. And also, like..........I don’t want to say “please watch your tone,” but please don’t get personally offensive? I just feel like that’s a good guideline in general, it’s lowkey not helpful if you call someone names for their opinions, even if they’re wrong on facts or whatever. This ain’t social policy we’re discussing, they’re fictional characters and fictional worlds. Real actual human beings still rate higher than “defending” a fictional character.

Is: defending other Tony fans if/when people are dogpiling on them. This was also historically a problem, although I think (I hope) it’s less so now? But honestly it’s hard to tell unless someone posts about it/posts asks, but also hopefully this is somewhat the purpose of the squad. This does NOT meant “going after whoever is doing it,” it sucks sometimes when you’re reacting to have to moderate your own reactions, but continuing cycles doesn’t help.

Is NOT: “the best defense is a good offense.” Guys, please don’t go in the anti tag picking fights. There’s no need to “be proactive” about this. As long as they’re keeping their stuff away from the Tony tag, like, you literally cannot control another human being. That’s not how that works. Also, make sure you’re in the TAG and not the search, do NOT go on people’s untagged posts. It’s their own blog, they’re allowed to post their opinions or vent or whatever. Also again please do NOT call ppl names, pls it’s tempting and I get it, and for Tony fans we’re So Tired and it’s easy to make the most recent person who shits on Tony the representation of every single person we’ve seen in the past forever and have had to personally experience and handle emotionally, but in most cases they are just a single individual with their single opinion and not a conspiracy out to get us all.

--

Like, whatever I’m not going to go after each person individually who doesn’t follow these guidelines, I’m not the fandom police or your parent and I really don’t want to be. And like yeah Who Am I To Lay This Out, I’m just one person, my idea of what the defense squad is and isn’t maybe isn’t yours, like I feel like I was lowkey one of the OG members but clearly this has grown beyond us. But like...please do be aware that if you go way too far about “defense,” then you put people off of Tony, RDJ, this segment of the fandom (i.e. Tony fans), etc. Some of you (me included) might have this experience with certain parts of the B/ucky or St/ucky fandom, for example (especially back in the day), (and if not then whatever this example doesn’t apply to you), just like...please be aware?

I’m just making this post because it pains me to talk to people who aren’t in the greater Marvel fandom or even see posts around complaining about Tony fans but making complaints that I’ve had with other Marvel-adjacent fandoms that get way too zealous and put me off the character or ship or whatever.

[lvtvr]

I... kinda wanna hear the klahnce tropes you hate...

ok since i can never resist a chance to Vent i’m gonna share them under a cut but first some disclaimers

1) honestly oh my god if somebody else likes or enjoys this stuff i dont care!!!! i really do not care!!!! as long as you aren’t shoving it in my face or claiming that any alternative interpretations are Wrong™, i really really do not mind!!!! people like different things and that’s okay!!!!!! my intention truly isn’t to make some 15 year old w a fluffy fantasy feel guilty just bc some random person on the internet doesnt like the way they do things kdsjgsjdgskjdg so pls read this w a grain of salt

2) i’m not even really that passionate in my dislike of these things bc it’s just shipping and it literally doesn’t matter at all so this is basically just a list of my preferences

phew ok here we go

the kind of k/l made by lovers of l@ngst that makes the whole story about lance, and him just needing to be reassured of how incredible he is 

this almost always has keith tenderly holding lance and saying something along the lines of “you are the most beautiful boy in the universe and i will never let you go :) i love you so much lance :) to me, you are each and every star in the sky :)”

KEITH WOULD NEVER SAY THAT WHAT THEUF CK

this bothers me bc the dynamic they are portraying is closer to h@nce, sh@nce, or even she!th. both hunk and shiro are kind and loving people who are quick to verbally reassure their friends. but keith, the way i read him, prefers action to speech. he has other ways of expressing how deeply he feels about someone without waxing poetic

please don’t make discount h@nce, make actual h@nce instead i beg of u

also ppl editing the “br0gan3s hug” replacing shiro with lance and now suddenly it’s romantic and not familial lmao… just admit that u love the beauty of s/k and its passionate star-crossed lovers bound by fate angle and stop projecting it onto k/l which is a different beast entirely

“keith and lance have been in love with one another all along/are in love with one another at this current point in canon”

ok while i do admit i can appreciate some cute pining-at-the-garrison fanart, this one bugs me bc if we just look at canon………  they don’t like each other. they just. they don’t.

there’s definitely an admiration-jealousy thing going on from lance’s side, but not an outright crush

and lets be real while i understand the appeal of a headcanon where keith has crushed on lance since forever………………….. in canon, he literally had no idea who he was

i dislike this bc to me it sounds far too much like a love at first sight kind of thing, where they had crushes on each other without even really knowing one another

the appeal of k/l for me is the potential for growth they have AFTER they’ve spent months in space working as a team and getting to know who the other person really is, beyond first impressions

two people who are incompatible at first, developing and maturing until they can see new sides to each other, learn to work with one another, and choose to put their differences aside so that they can be together? that’s much more romantic, at least to me.

the “keith and lance are in love and shiro and keith are brothers and also shiro is dating allura :)” clusterfuck that mostly died after the vague statement about allura’s age that gave antis a collective bout of hives

im not saying there are no good fics with this constellation but there are 392580968230698409683478 fics that copypasted this relationship matrix. it is a fanon thing but ppl started treating it like canon which always gets me a little squinty. also i’m not all that into s/a so there’s that

keith and lance getting married. this is entirely a personal thing but it’s my biggest fucking squick and i have an irrational hatred for it it just fucking bothers me so much NEVER talk to me about it

this includes kidfic it makes me feel almost ill

marriage/domesticity/kids is the opposite of a romantic fantasy for me and thinking about it makes me really uncomfortable

while im more ok with it with some other pairings, i just cant see it happening w keith and lance

this is also where i see them start to clash, with lance’s big family and probable love of tradition and keith’s orphan-loner lifestyle. they’d probably want very different things

and it’s really stressful for me to think about so i’d rather just not lol

basically just fucking miss me with them wearing rings or anything like that unless u want me to let out bloodcurdling screams for 8 consecutive hours

anything making them too soft, squishy and blushy. while i totally get why people want to look at this kind of content it makes me want to die

this is usually paired with “everyone else exists just to support their relationship”

i’ve also seen their rivalry reduced to “yeah but i love you more asswipe” “no i love YOU more” “umm excuse you i clearly love you the most :/” like… lmao pls stop this they’d still argue about exactly the same things as before

while they’d definitely tell each other i love you and be soft with each other, it’d be in quiet, private moments. ultimately, they aren’t a gross sappy couple… they just aren’t…… they’re those friends who argue a lot about inconsequential things but also kiss each other when they’re alone and would die for each other without hesitation but will Never admit it

okay phew i think those are my Top Shitty K/L Tropes, and from what i’ve heard there are a lot more like them being shoved into ridiculous yaoi archetypes (eg keith is a blushing flower of a sub instead of the vers power bottom we all know he Actually is) but since i read very little fic i’ve managed to avoid that stuff. sorry this turned into an essay lol this always happens

[hoodwinkedtoohoodvsevil]

OKAY i have so much to say about dm3 so here’s my #Thoughts (spoilers) IT’S REALLY REALLY LONG

tl;dr i loved it bc of course i did but if you want my spicy feelse it’s below the cut

OKAY i’m basically doin this off the cuff scene by scene from memory (i’ve seen it twice) but also touching on just. aspects of the movie as i think of them.

i’m gonna start by saying what everyone knows but idc i’ll say it until the end of time: I LOVE FELONIUS GRU SO MUCH OHHH MY GOD HIS EXISTENCE MAKES MY LIFE GOOD

ALSO!!!! RLY MAD AT THE MARKETING OF THIS MOVIE BC IT COMPLETELY /LIES/ ABOUT GRU’S INTENTIONS!!! HE HAS NO INTENTIONS OF GOING BACK TO VILLAINY AT ALL THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE HIS ENTIRE PLAN IS TO STEAL THE DIAMOND BACK FROM BALTHAZAR TO GET HIS+LUCY’S JOBS BACK SO BASICALLY GRU IS PERFECT 

oky so i thought the movie was RLY GOOD it basically does everything good that the first two movies do. the girls are in this more than 2 which is a big improvement. 2 may always be my favorite just bc it’s mostly abt grucy but 2 has the biggest flaw of them all (it’s fuckin racist as hell) so at least dm3 isn’t as...flawed.

it’s main problem is that it’s got a looot goin on, which is kinda common for sequels (especially third movies onward) bc they gotta give existing characters that everyone knows/likes plots/development while also establishing/developing new characters. i don’t really mind this so much bc i like all the characters in this movie a lot. i do like some plots/subplots more than others but i personally was never like. overwhelmed. the only subplot i didn’t rly care about was the minions one but i’ll talk abt that later. it’s not terrible tho.

MY main problem (basically the only thing that bothers me when i watch the movie) is how soooo fast paced it is. like, i get that the other movies kind of are too, but i can think of multiple parts of this movie where it just would’ve been better to just. let stuff sit? like okay, i have some examples that i’ll address when i get to them.

okay actually goin scene by scene now

first scene is good it’s basically just the first trailer but longer. i’ve said this before but i had the clownfish part it’s the worst part of the whole movie. but at least it’s only like two seconds. agents grucy is still my reason for existence and i’m kinda salty they never called back to that but i’m still blessed. balthazar is honestly so fuckin funny and Truthfully i liked the part when he blasts (naked) gru away with his keytar way better in the actual movie than in the trailer bc playing jump by van halen during that part was fucking HYSTERICAL.

gru...is so fucking funny and extra. “i don’t want to waste another breath on him. AND ANOTHER THING!!!” honey please chill. also “you’re making me nervous” BABY NO

okaaay buuuuuut the scene after they get fired slays me. “honey, you didn’t have to do that, i know how much you love your job” “well, there are some things i love more” LITERALLY MURDER MY ASS GRUCY IS MY REASON FOR LIVING

also catch my ass overanalyzing what gru says and tracing it back to lucy’s backstory (her parents were killed by supervillains when she was very young for those who don’t spend their free time researching everything about dm canon). she didn’t just love her job bc it was fun, it had significant meaning to her and just. excuse me I’M NOT CRYIN

“we should really tell the girls...can you do it?” girl same

the luau scene isn’t new to me so i don’t have much to say except that I Love My Daughters More Than Life Itself.

OKAY OKAY BUT here’s an example of the too fast paced parts i’m talkin about. when gru tells the girls that he and lucy lost their jobs, i read the jr novel before i saw the movie and i thought that part would be/should’ve been slower. like when he goes “lucy and i were invited to...not work at the avl anymore.” like? it just felt like he’d be a little more hesitant when telling him. just felt like it should’ve had a tiny bit more weight to it.

also “and let’s NOT go to katie’s house anymore.”

listen. i don’t hate the minions catch my ass defending them most of the time but i’m so salty at them in this movie. i get that their purpose is to serve the baddest villain but they’ve been with gru for like 45 YEARS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE FAMILY!!!!! aso gru has been away from villainy for like more than a year so can they just chill please. these minions ain’t loyal.

I KNEW DR. NEFARIO WAS GONNA BE FROZEN IN CARBONITE BC JR NOVEL BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE HE WAS GONNA BE IN THE EXACT SAME POSE AS HAN SOLO SO I LOST MY SHIT. AND WE NEVER SEE HIM GET UNFROZEN SO IS HE LIKE GONE FOREVER? RIP I GUESS

the take on me scene was soooo goddamn funny

lucy comforting gru saved my life. that scene was actually well paced it wasn’t rushed but it didn’t go on longer than it needed to. a+ scene.

i knew from the trailers that agnes was gonna sell her unicorn but i didn’t know she was gonna look so SAD WHEN SHE DID IT THAT DESTROYED ME

uhhh skippin a few scenes bc whatever. stuff we know from trailers. OH OH but “YOU TOLD ME MY DAD DIED OF DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN I WAS BORN” WHAT THE FUUUUUCK I LAUGHED BUT GOD WHY IS SHE SO MEAN

lucy on the plane tryin to engage with the girls. i’m so sad pls just let her feel like a mom.

gru’s private part

the first scene in dru’s house reminded me that illumination’s lighting is always KILLER that scene was so beautifully lit 

DRUUUU INTERACTING WITH THE GIRLS WAS HONESTLY SOOO CUTE?? esp the part with agnes it just felt like genuine kid dialogue. i love. and “SHE’S 12 SHE LOOKS 12 AND SHE WILL ALWAYS BE 12″ oh honey (but same)

OKAY the most bothered i was by the pacing in this movie was when gru was like “lucy can i get a fuckin uhhhh leave i feel like garb” and lucy was like “honey just deal”. that’s another part i read in the jr novel and thought would have more. emotion to it. like it didn’t need to be heavy or anything but i remember feeling really sad when i read gru say “i feel worse than i did when i came here” but in the movie it just kinda flew by? ESPECIALLY bc lucy was immediately like “well, he’s your brother just try to get along with him”. like, okay, you just had a scene of gru venting to lucy about feeling like a failure so you’d think if she found out meeting dru made gru feel worse she’d be like “oh no i’m sorry this isn’t what you were expecting and you feel even worse now” like she doesn’t need to say any of that but even just. a pause and a facial expression can say a lot. just a look of sympathy and then trying to cheer him up or be more optimistic like “well he is your brother and you were so excited to meet him and you only just met like you might eventually be glad you did this” that kinda thing. it was just sooo rushed it felt like nothing when it should’ve felt like Something bc lucy knows gru’s been feeling bad and just. a little sympathy would’ve been nice and still could’ve led to the same conclusion. but shit we gotta save time for the minions musical number i guess.

speaking of that i’m just gonna talk about that subplot in one bullet point. it was the one i cared about the least and had nothing to do with anything really. i’ll admit the singing part is kinda funny bc idk what it is but they always have good song choices for when the minions sing. like make em laugh in the minions movie and now modern major general like yeah those are minion songs yknow. and okay it is kinda funny when they’re in prison bc they just IMMEDIATELY show them and they’re like runnin the place. i figured there’d be some kinda transition but nope they get there and they rule the prison. also the first class/coach separation in the plane was funny but i have to wonder what dictates whether a minion ends in first class or coach. but yeah like i said i don’t really caaaaare and i’m salty over the minions leavin gru anyway so fuck em.

OH OH OH BUT THE PART WHERE MEL MISSES GRU AND IS REMEMBERING GOOD TIMES WITH HIM LITERALLY MADE ME CRY GRU IS SUCH AN ANGEL!!!!! THAT WAS ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

okay rest of the movie. god this is so long i’m so sorry but i have SO MUCH TO SAY.

i don’t have much to say abt the scenes with gru and dru except i like them and i like their interactions. i didn’t think i’d like dru as much as i did  tho i do see how people could find him annoying. i guess i’m just like. well i’m lucy and he’s part of my family so yes i love him.

“gettin my sea legs, matey” meeeeeee

SAD LITTLE BOOTS WAS SOOOO FUNNY

BAR NONE THE FUNNIEST AND JUST MOST CHARMING SCENE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE WAS GRU AND DRU PRETENDING TO BE EACH OTHER. everything about that scene gives me life. it was sooo genuine and natural like when they couldn’t keep it up and just burst out laughing. they’re adorable i love my husband and my brother-in-law they’re such children. i just love that it was gru’s idea bc you know when he was thinkin about twin stuff on the plane ride there he was like ‘omg what if we switched places and pretended to be each other to fool ppl omg that’s a twin thing’ but it was so obvious bc kids can get away with that but they’re in their fuckin 50s you fools.

THAT REMINDS ME steve carell was honestly so good in this movie. like he’s always good as gru but he was rly good as dru too like obviously they sounded similar but i was never watching it and thinking “oh this is steve carell talking to himself” like he voiced both characters well and obvs they had different personalities and that rly came through and just. i love you sexy grey hair steve carell.

scene with gru and agnes was so damn pure just. everything i want out of a scene with gru and agnes. thank u illumination for my life.

gonna talk abt the agnes subplot in one bullet point bc there’s not much to it. basically i love my daughter, she’s an angel, and i like that we just. have a goat now. also another animation highlight in the scene where she and edith are in the forest looking for the unicorn. that forest was gorgeous. and again, beautifully lit.

lucy defending margo REPLENISHED MY ELECTROLYTES 

also when she was like “i gotta tell gru!” so precious omg i wish we could’ve seen her tell him about it that would’ve been so cute. 

love the scene of gru and dru sneakin into balthzar’s lair. good stuff. I DIE WHEN DRU WAS FREAKIN OUT IN THE VENT AND GRU WAS LIKE “hey relax :) it’s gonna be fine :) i got your back” I WANTED TO SCREAM WHY IS GRU SO PERFECT

i don’t ship druthazar (sorry dm fandom) but i still leaned over to david when dru was sitting on balthzar’s bed and i whispered “that’s not the last time he was in balthzar’s bed” bc i‘m funny

AND THE BEST PART IS YOU’LL NEVER :) EVER >:( DO ANYTHING BEHIND MY BACK EVER AGAIN >:(( RIGHT HONEYBEAR? :)))

sometimes you want a unicorn. but you just get a goat.

i was ready to declare the part where lucy comes in just loudly singing and then goes “you’ve been a baaad boy gru” and smacks his face my favorite lucy scene in the whole movie but the it was balthazar disguised as lucy and i’ve never felt more betrayed

also how did balthazar perfectly mimic lucy’s voice? when he was disguised as the museum guy it was clearly trey parker doing another south park voice but WHATEVER

while i’m thinkin abt it trey parker was fine as balthazar i guess like he was funny but i used to watch a looot of south park so i would so often just her the south park in his voice and i was like Alright

THE CLIMAX OF THIS MOVIE MURDERED MY ASS!!!!! i looooove this movie’s climax it’s easily the best of the dm franchise. i never wanted to murder balthazar with my bare hands more than when he left the girls for dead and tried to kill an unconscious gru with a giant lazer. i was SHOOKETH. lucy jumpin across the giant bubble gum...balls or whatever to save the girls was the BEST SHIT. dru saving gru was so good i’m so proud of him...love my brother-in-law. and the dance fight with gru and balthazar SAVED!!! CINEMA!!! i was screamin oh my god..i know y’all know i love gru with everything i am but y’all he’s SO GOOD IN THE CLIMAX OF THIS MOVIE

as lucy wilde, i can confirm that after i ran up and hugged gru i was covering his face with red lipstick and also being like “balthazar’s dead right? like not just caught, fucking DEAD? RIGHT??” he either lied to assuage me or I Found A Way

AGNES SAYING “love you mom” TO LUCY AND LUCY BEING LIKE “i’m a mom!!” KILLED WHATEVER WAS LEFT OF MY SOUL!!!!!

tho tho tho i’m still UPSET that the girls call gru by his name and not dad...like you gonna call lucy mom WHEN U GONNA CALL GRU DAD I’M GASPING FOR AIR

lucy was very dtf at the end she was like gru say good night to your brother and let’s go FUCK (and then dru had to go and interrupt it smh)

i was like UMMMMM at first when watching the very last scene but then when i saw how gru and lucy reacted to it i was like okay i accept this. he better have just been staying temporarily at their house and going back to freedonia soon tho bc i don’t think lucy would like the idea of a supervillain living her house.

gru n lucy gettin ready to go in for the kill. love it. love them forever.

trey parker’s singing in hug me (the credits song) sounds too much like andy partridge of xtc and like 0 people reading this (if anyone’s still reading oh my god) are gonna know what i’m talking about but it makes it quite the Experience whenever i listen to it

speaking of this is the best soundtrack out of dm 1-3 i’ve been listening to it the whole time writing this

SO IN SUMMARY hi i’m lucy wilde, and my husband and daughters are absolutely everything to me. as a viewer balthazar is the most entertaining dm villain bar none (overkills excluded obvs), but as lucy wilde i hope he fucking dies for trying to kill my family. dru is a good brother-in-law and is also a gay icon. this movie came out in pride month for a reason. dru (a gay male) and lucy (a pan woman) are true mlm/wlw solidarity.

i’m fuckin.

i love.

[love-actually-is-allaround]

Sometimes you just gotta vent

I am so unbelievably frustrated with my best friend right now. Obviously I adore her, but that doesn't mean she isn't selfish AF sometimes, and this isn't even for my benefit it's for her poor boyfriend's. So Brianne and Kyle have been going out for 6 years, a long time yes, but unsure if this includes the month or so they broke up in their second year because Brianne doesn't like to think about that because it doesn't fit in with her fairytale romance, yes that's my girl. Keep in mind they are both older than me (Kyle just turned 30 and she'll be 26 in a few weeks), but ya...they've been together long enough that Kyle has started saving for a ring. Now obviously I know this because I'm the best friend and kind of Kyle's only friend in like a 30 mile radius, but did I find out from him telling me? Nope...I found out cuz my crazy best friend has already found his money envelope multiple times and has clearly counted the money because a few months ago he reached about a grand in savings. N mind you they live together on their own, so this is money he's been saving while paying for his half of the rent, his car bills, his debt, fun stuff for them to do, and whatever other amenities they need. And he'd only been saving for a month or so, so yeah, he was proud. What does my beautiful, spoiled best friend do? She picks up the envelope and goes, "Honey, I'm so proud. You're about a 4th of the way there!" Good. Freaking. Lord. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls who's all "NO DIAMONDS, GIVE ME A TWIG WOVEN INTO A BAND N ILL BE HAPPY" like no. It's supposed to symbolize your love, you're supposed to wear it forever, and you want it to last and be good quality. So yes, it should be probs the nicest ring you own, but this is not what you say to your BF who's been busting his ass off. First of all, it shouldn't be anywhere that she can count it (I yelled at him about that) but honestly Brianne's kinda crazy n if really it's in their place she probably would have found it. But oh lord, so this sets them off into a fight cuz he's like "wtf how much do u want me to spend?!" And she's all "do you think I'm not worth that money?!" Uuugggghhhhhh. I've gotten this from both sides now and as per usual, it's a simple miscommunication as are like 96% of normal couple fights, and so naturally they both freak out to me and I have to calm them down and translate what the other person means. I placate them, brianne agrees to stop harping and Kyle continues to save. But it gets worse when she hangs with her mom. Again, I freaking LOVE Brianne's mom, but she like Brianne seem to have this whole "more money = love" mentality which is super fucked up. They start looking at potential rings to get an idea of what she'd want, fair. She also discusses how they have a family friend that can get them better quality rings for cheaper prices, awesome. But then when she comes home from that convo the price for the ring is now 5 grand and to make matters worse, a month later, Kyle texted me today to say now it's 6 grand. What the actual fuck?!? So I will talk to her about this and tell her to back the fuck off, cuz here's the thing: she never needs to know nor should she ever know the god damn price of her ring. Why does it freaking matter?!?!! If it's what she wants and what Kyle wants and it's gonna last however long, WHY DOES THE PRICE MATTER?! And here's where my best friend makes me wanna rip my hair out. In her head, that money = love thing, is real. She's so much about labels and I don't get why. I was shopping for her birthday today but I'm low on funds so I looked around charming Charlie's and target thinking "maybe I could get her a cute dress or nice shirts for work". But then I think, when have I ever seen her wear any of the clothes or accessories I've bought her? The answer: never, unless it's a label. It's sad that it's her mind set, but it seems to be. Idk who the fuck she's trying to impress, but it seems to be rubbing off on her poor boyfriend and I'm frustrated. This is not the way for them to start off a marriage and I cannot be there to couples counsel them every step of the way. An engagement ring is supposed to symbolize a promise to be together forever, a symbol of your love and devotion to one another, not a way to wave your hand around and be like "look how fucking loaded my boyfriend is!!!" I've legit heard her say stuff like "your ring / wedding are going to be so much better than mine" LIKE WHAT?! I'm no where near to that level! No one has ever liked me enough to be with me that long!! I haven't fucking been on a date since high school!!! Why would you compare a 6 year theoretically good relationship to my pathetic lack there of love life?! Clearly she's insecure, but I don't like why. Kyle has his faults, for sure, but he loves the crap out of her...he wouldn't have stuck with her for so long if he didn't. But fighting over how expensive a ring is doesn't bode well at all. What are you going to do when it's a house? Or kids??? This fundamental lack of understanding and communication within a relationship can doom it. Now they are not the kind of ppl who'll walk away, they're more the sweep our problems under the rug and complain to others kind of people. But that's worse!!! Those feelings can only bottle and fester until they explode and no one wants to be there when that happens, I just hope they grow the fuck up and actually have adult conversations and try to hear each other out and fix it. I just wish she knew how freaking good she has it. I'd give anything for some fucking affection. Like I don't need 5 or 6 grand anything, I'd just like a kind, fun boy to go do stuff with and really just snuggle up. I'm so fucking lonely it's not even funny! I have fantasies about fictional characters cause that's all I've got. The last real life boy I had a semi crush on is gay as the Fourth of July. So really, I just wish people would stfu and be grateful. I try to, but then I gotta deal with this. I'm exhausted and need to get up for work tomorrow, but this is the bullshit that is plaguing me. Le sigh, maybe one day she'll listen to me. Sorry for the rant, needed to happen.

[syntymatitahna]

Just idk venting and ordering my thoughts don’t mind me. S pls don’t interact with this post if you’re still lurking thx (it’s sorta stressful)

In a way I find it kind of funny that billdip would be the dealbreaker ship because, yeah, Dipper was 12 for most of the series but like… He wasn’t introduced to me as a 12yo. And this former friend knows this, probably doesn’t remember though.

(I mean the point still stands that I don’t really find shipping billdip or the like to be like all that morally reprehensible anyway even if i totally understand why ppl would be uncomfy with it and they’re absolutely allowed to be and choose their company accordingly)

But yeah, she knows, maybe doesn’t remember, that I read a bunch of billdip fic before ever watching the series. I don’t think I even looked the characters up first.

Like I was hanging on IMVU and got to talking with some guy who mentioned shipping billdip, talked about it a bit and linked some aged up shipping art

And I was like “lol that seems like something I could dig”

And I guess it was a while later that I was bored enough to go looking for fic.

I didn’t watch GF until I started thinking that I really wanted to know the backstory, I believe. By that time I’d already read several fics.

So yeah. But idk. It’s true that I don’t find whatever like sebaciel shipping or something, especially morally objectionable? But also, I don’t care about ships with like preteens – I mean this in the sense of, I’m not interested in them in a way that when I hear about one I get curious. I’ve seen sebaciel and ereri and stuff like that mentioned a lot in tags in ship hate and ship posi posts due to having hanged out in the billdip tag a lot when i was actively shipping it, but i barely even know what they are… Like… Is sebaciel from that black butler show? And ereri is from snk i think? Maybe???

So i think it’s entirely possible that if I had seen GF before reading fic I wouldn’t have shipped it.

However… It’s also entirely possible that I would have shipped it even seeing the show first! I mean honestly… Bill is so fucking juvenile… And small… And not an adult human (or near-human? humanoid? organic humanoid? I’m not sure where the “too close” line goes for me but Bill’s a fucjing triangle that’s definitely far enough)… Like… It’s a bit like how I can ship Bob/Sunstreaker even tho it’s technically bestiality and if they were a human and the human’s pet instead of robots I’m pretty fucking sure shipping them wouldn’t even cross my mind lmao

But if someone else is shipping like sebaciel, my view on it is still “you do you, I don’t really care”. I just don’t give enough of a damn to really be bothered. Presuming the shippers really do have pedophilic feelings, shipping sebaciel is still the better option. So I don’t care.

Like, urrh, yes a child predator could use something like that to groom a child but not having skeevy shipping content doesn’t mean they’re out of means. It just means others might be out of less harmful outlets? I doubt all shippers who don’t age up are pedos anyway, just like not all incest shippers feel incestuous desire. (By far, probably.)

I don’t even get where in the tits the assumption that i’d involve myself with pedos even comes from like thanks for the vote of trust, seems like i really am untrustworthy because it always comes down to people being incapable of giving me the benefit of the doubt and taking things I say and reblog in good faith.

Not that it really surprises me. I know I’m unreliable so *shrug emoji*

It was the same last time, with, let’s just call him V. “I’m gonna give you the chance to explain yourself!” Fuck that, I shouldn’t have to constantly defend myself to you just because you have no faith in me. That’s not my problem. The whole situation was stressing me the fuck out. So while I could have explained, I refused to. And that was the end of that, more or less. I’m still somewhat salty about it all, clearly.

This is why I said Kitty is one of the best people I’ve had the privilege of meeting. She doesn’t make me feel like I’m friends with a fucking district attorney.

During the last year I’ve, honestly, started to think I’d like to contact V again, but I still have too much strong negative feelings about a lot of things so it’s better I don’t. Maybe in a couple years. I mean, I feel better about it all now even tho I’m still salty. So maybe in a couple years it’ll be fine. We’ll see.

I miss brainstorming with him. It was the best thing, and he got so into shipping my OCs too (or at least gave me that impression) and it’s still something that makes me feel confident in having fun with my characters even if some people would think they’re mary sues.

So yeah, uh, very mixed feelings about that lmao.

Siiiigh. Honestly the probably worst (or best?) thing is that every time this happens (a friendship breakup that wasn’t because of the other being super racist or ableist or just generally a shitty FUCK) I realise that I have in the past done the same thing that this time was the problem (for me).

With Mely I constantly hassled her about what she posted and reblogged. It wasn’t that I didn’t have faith in her, it was that she wasn’t as SJ-y as I was and it showed sometimes because she said things that I thought were just SJ 101 Things You Shouldn’t Say, Or Even Think, Really (lol). But I still hassled her constantly, which I can imagine was very stressful. It’s no wonder we drifted apart and she eventually just stopped talking with me.

And over the last few days I realised that I was very judgemental-like over one thing V liked, and it seemed to be important to him, like shipping is to me. Well… At least I’m learning.

I really should take the matter up with someone whose opinions on the thing V liked have more value than mine, really figure out where the issue lies. I can’t really think it’s inherently bad, it would wipe away too many things that seem quite harmless? Not that I think liking it is morally reprehensible anyway, just that some aspects are problematic (‘have problems’). But the way I see it it’s more the terminology than necessarily the trope itself? Like, the terminology thing seems pretty straightforward.

But yeah I should take myself by the nape and stop being a damn wuss. So what if I get a pissy response or get called a freak again. That just comes with the territory, I guess. I just kinda wish I could use a sideblog for sending asks rather than my main, because if the blogger sets the table for recreational bullies like wwc and that other blog the name of which i forgot did, i’d really rather it wasn’t my main they’d come to. This blog is too personal. Suppose that’s my mistake for making my main my personal.

Or for having an about like that.