#don’t judge me on how incoherent and incomplete this is it’s 2am and im on my phone

[nicollekidman]

who do you think can make alicent happy??who can be to alicent what daemon is to rhaenyra?

alicent will never be happy again, rhaenyra is her daemon in that rhaenyra is her glimpse of unattainable “freedom” (regardless of how real that freedom is) and the other side of her coin, but alicent is aware that that is lost to her forever. alicent never really had a chance at happiness, she was a girl without a mother destined to be a pawn and a vessel the second she hit womanhood, and from the second she entered king’s landing her fate was set by the person closest to her (otto). alicent isn’t concerned with her own happiness, nor the happiness of her children, i think she probably doesn’t consider happiness a worthwhile pursuit and that’s one of the many reasons she can’t stand to be around rhaenyra, who she perceives as prioritizing personal comfort and satisfaction above anything else. alicent knows she is largely doomed, that’s why there’s so much fear and desperation in her decisions, her consolation is her righteousness and her adherence to duty and womanhood, and the continuation of her line. any personal desire she used to harbor (towards rhaenyra, towards freedom, towards a small, safe life) has been repressed and/or curdled into an ever-festering wound, and that’s what motivates her. she’s scared because she has to keep fighting and scratching and advocating for herself, but she’s not fighting for happiness, she’s fighting for survival. she knows the rules, she knows what is expected of her, and if she cannot work for her own peace or freedom or comfort, she can still Win by sacrificing and suffering (she has known that’s where her path is headed since she was a girl, she just never thought she’d be alone) in a divine sort of way. i hope they lean into alicent’s devoutness because i think the only relief she finds at this point is in the fire of her self righteousness and anger, which she cannot allow herself to recognize as fear and regret. so yeah um. alicent doesn’t have a daemon and all the rage/desire/hunger that rhaenyra and daemon unleash upon each other, alicent directs inwards.