#doesn't matter that i have seen just about every person who's important to me switch careers at varying ages. i'm an exception.

[doubletrucks]

hey guys does anyone know what we're supposed to do. like just for our lives

[angelkhi]

love me, hate me - s.r

summary: steve rogers pisses you off, and you piss him off. but is it really ever that simple?

warnings: SMUT 18+ (MINORS DNI), p in v, switch steve & reader, face sitting, unprotected sex, talks of bodily fluids, enemies to lovers a little bit, slight hate fucking but also not?? feelings at the end sort of.

word count: 2.8.k

a little note: Happy New Year to you all! finished this at 4 am so not beta’d any mistakes are my own (seriously i just spelled mistakes as ‘mestayks’ so like sorry lol) half based on this request but also something i already had in the works that seemed to mesh xx

"Let's not forget who's doing who a favour." You chide, already irritated by presence.

"Please sweetheart, I'm doing you more of a favour than you realise."

"And how's that Mr Rogers?" You fix his crooked tie. Always picking up after him.

"You walk in there with me? There's no way you're going home alone tonight." He smooths out the collar on his shirt, checking himself over in the mirror. "Your little problem gets solved."

"My little problem?"

"Don't get me wrong, Yels, it's great doing it yourself but it would be nice for someone give me an orgasm every now and then."

"You fuckin pig! You were listening to my conversation?" You're embarrassed. Beyond embarrassed. If there's one person that doesn't need to know about your dwindling sex life it's Steve Rogers.

"It's kinda hard not to overhear yours and Yelena's screeching on girls night." Once again those fingers fly up into quotation marks and you have to blink yourself free from the daze you're slipping into.

Maybe Steve does have a point, you're significantly louder after a bottle or two of rose, but it doesn't give him the right to use your own words against you.

"You're a dick, Rogers. It's none of your fucking business how many orgasms I have." He's smirking down at you now, something in his eyes you've never seen before. "Let's just get this over with. I don't want to have to see your face any longer than necessary."

The two of you enter the ballroom together as planned, and heads turn almost instantly. The quiet gasps and turning heads boost his scolded ego more than nicely. But that's all it is. A soothing bandage over a painful wound.

Stark's infamous shindigs that rivalled even the most grand of galas, yet you are the only thing that matters to him in a room filled with expensive champagne and extravagant sculptures. He watches you from across the room, Bucky's latest debrief on Sam's irritating behaviour blending into the mindless background chatter.

You're done up to the nines, pretty hair twisted in some intricate up-do, and that dress. That fucking dress. He wonders if things would be easier if you knew how he really felt about you, that the trading of insults between the two of you is the only way he can resist pinning you against every available surface and fucking the attitude out of you.

You work your charm with everyone that comes up to you, offering you drinks and boring conversation. You know you're in charge, so do they, and so does he.

He spots you talking to a pretty redhead he soon recognises as Wanda, she's changed since he last saw her. But he much more notices the lingering stares and flirtatious touches, the way you lean into each other and laugh a little too loud. Jealousy is no longer a green eyed monster, but a blonde haired, blue eyed super soldier.

You happen to glance over at him in that moment, taking in his tensed jaw and white-knuckle grip on his champagne flute, expecting it to shatter under any more force. He watches as you smirk in his direction, and the go back to the conversation like he wasn't even there. Sam and Bucky pull him away to a conversation that is meant to be important and he loses sight of you for the rest of the evening.

The party starts to get a little too lively towards 11pm, the rowdy crowd excited about the looming new year. You find yourself at the bar, sick of your uncomfortable shoes, ready to get more than drunk, kiss a bottle at midnight and fall into bed with your vibrator once again. Someone slides into the empty seat next to you, speaking to the bar tender. You catch the 'and whatever she's having' and roll your eyes just wanting to be left alone at this point.

Your double vodka and cranberry is slid in front of you and you take a single sip before turning to the man next to you. He's attractive, with his full beard and long brown hair. There's something in his eyes but you don't care enough to find out that much about him. He shakes your hand firmly, introducing himself as Quentin Beck. You smile and thank him when he compliments you, you hum and nod when he tells you about his latest technological venture that sounds weirdly similar to Tony's, you smile coyly when he rests a hand on your thigh and offers to take you somewhere a little less private.

You're silently disappointed that this is the best you could do on a night like tonight but you're not one to look a fort horse in the mouth. He guides you through the crowd with a hand around your waist until the function room doors come into view and your excitement dims even further. Steve stands in the doorway, arms crossed and biceps bulging as he stares at Quentin and then his hand on your waste.

"Hey honey." He wraps his fingers around your wrist lightly, stopping you in your tracks. He stares down at you for a second too long, then diverts his gaze to Beck.

"Fuck off." Two words. Two are all it takes for Quentin to crumble.

His hand moves from your waist faster than you can blink and he's already being swallowed up by the crowd when you turn away from glaring at Steve. His fingers linger around your wrist but you shrug him off, and leave the grand ballroom stomping down to the elevator.

He follows you of course, right up to your door, pushing inside when you try and slam it in his face.

"Honey that guy was a creep."

"Don't 'honey' me you just ruined my one good chance of getting laid tonight." You kick off your shoes.

"Well I wouldn't call it a good chance..."

"What was that?!" You're about to fiddle with the zip of your dress but instead steve has your attention and an insane amount of audacity.

"M'just saying he wouldn't have been worth it." He pauses, sitting on your bed uninvited. "Doesn't look like he can find his car keys let alone please a woman."

"I guess I'll never know now." You scoff.

"Use me instead."

What in the sweet baby jesus?!

"How much have you had to drink?" You chuckle, and go back to working your zip.

"You know I can't get drunk. How much have you had to drink?" He retorts, reaching up to undo the zipper for you.

"Not enough for this to be a hallucination. What's in it for you?"

"An orgasm." Fair enough.

"Why are you doing this? Are you trying to humiliate me?"

"What? No! I'm just trying to apologise for ruining your New Years hook up." He looks sincere, but then Steve never lies. You on the other hand, would be lying if you said you didn't want to jump his bones at least twenty three and a half of the twenty four hours in the day. And he's offering himself to you on a golden platter. Why turn. it down?

"Strip."

It's a simple word, but it holds so much power. Starting something that may just fucking ruin you. But you want it. He wants it. The easy route be damned. Steve is quick to discard his clothing, looking up at you expectantly waiting for your next request. You simply just let your dress drop, carefully stepping over the expensive fabric and slotting yourself between Steve's legs. His eyes widen when he realises you'd neglected to put on any underwear that evening. She reaches out to touch you, rest a hand on your hip but you slap it away.

"Lay back." You kneel over his hips, excitement fizzling on your skin as he rests on his elbows, taking up an insane amount of space with his broad shoulders and wide thighs. He doesn't move any further, a sly smirk on his lips and wonder in his eyes.

"I said I don't want to see your face, lie the fuck back." You have him under your thumb, and your pussy, when he lays back against the cotton sheets you crawl across his body and rest above his face. His hands grip onto the backs of your thighs, usually light eyes dark with lust. 

"No touching." You thread his arms above him, resting forward and pinning them against the pillows. His response is muffled when you lower yourself onto his face. His tongue works wonders when he's not using it to talk and you definitely prefer it when he's not talking.

You grind yourself down against his pliant tongue, clit bumping his stupidly perfect nose with each thrust. You're taking what you deserve from him, what he owes you and you fucking love it. You love the fact that he could easily slip you underneath him, pin you beneath him and pull you apart but instead he's letting you use him, letting you grind yourself to an orgasm on his face.

"You're not so useless after all Rogers, fucking hell." His lips purse around your exposed clit and your thighs shake a little. You press yourself further against him, chasing your well deserved orgasm until you're panting above him half spent.

Lifting yourself off of him, you take in his flushed cheeks and blown out eyes. God he's pretty. Your hand strokes through his hair and he leans into your touch. Putty in your hands.

You reach back, your hands almost dwarfed by the impressive size of his pretty cock. You struggle to wrap your hands around him fully, but when you start stroking him slow but firm it doesn't matter. His face twists into one of pure bliss and his hips fuck up into your fist desperately. Deciding enough is enough you manoeuvre down his body, hovering over his painfully hard weeping cock. You drag him through your folds, almost slipping him in before bumping his engorged head against your clit until you're right on the edge of desperation and finally sink down on him.

You take him slowly at first, unable to stay quiet as he stretches you open. There's a slight sting but my god does it sting so good. Once he's fully sheathed you take a moment to accommodate, grinding down on him, twin moans coming from the two of you. You raise yourself up again, right to the tip and back down, slowly building the rhythm until you're bouncing on his cock, hitting spots you didn't even know existed panting for breath. 

"You feel so fucking good." You whimper chasing your own pleasure, fuelled by Steve's. He fists the bedsheets, so obedient trying not to touch you, but you look so pretty and broken and you're touching yourself whilst you ride him, clenching down on his dick so fucking perfectly. He's more vocal than. you expected, grunting and moaning and whining.

"Fuck I'm gonna come. Steve." Your fingers roll your taught nipples between your fingers, pinching and pulling. Steve's hips stutter for a moment, but then he's right there with you, fucking up into your perfect cunt until you're shaking on his dick, grinding your clit against his pubic bone and falling over the edge.

He doesn't give you a second to breath, wrapping his strong arms around you and placing you flat on your back. You're breathless, your vision is still fuzzy but then he's pounding into you. Lifting your leg above his shoulder opening you up up to him even more. You're well and truly fucked. Not a single word or thought or even sound registering. You're just wide eyed and open mouthed and taking what he gives you.

"Not so cocky now are we, hmm sweetheart." His thumb flicks your clit once and you're coming all over again, a loud scream echoing off of the walls.

"There she is. So fucking perfect, taking what you need. Did I do well, did I satisfy your greedy pussy or do you still want more?"

"St-Steve. More." You sound so broken, so unalike yourself but you never want to go back to her when you can be this.

"Course you fuckin do. Play with your tits for me, that's a good girl." He thrusts slow but deep, your weak legs held in position by his huge hands. He relishes in your flushed face and smudged makeup. Your hair has foregone the confines of bobby pins and it's splayed out on the cushion behind you. You're fucking perfect.

"Who's cunt is this?" Your eyes lull into the back of your head when he delivers a quick sharp tap to your clit. "Tell me who's cunt it is and I'll let you cum."

"Y-Yours. Yours Steve."

"Good. And who's fuckin dick is this tearing you apart?" It's all too much, you're on the verge of crying from the overstimulation. "Who's is it?"

"Mine."

"Good fucking girl." He punctuates his words with his thrusts, picking up speed once more and rubbing small quick circles against your clit. Your tears do spill then, dark mascara running down your cheeks when you explode all over him.

He fucks you through the orgasm, pulling out of you when you begin to claw at his chest, leaving pretty marks all over him. He kneels over you, furiously stroking himself to completion until he cums in long white ropes all over your breasts, chest heaving and panting. He collapses next to you, silent as you try to catch your breaths and wrap your head around what just happened.

It shouldn't surprise you when Steve gets up to the bathroom and comes back with a washcloth, but it does. It leaves you stunned. You try not to show it though, nor do you give him a glimpse at how disappointed you are about leaving.

"Damn Rogers, you really know how to hate fuck." Steve's gaze is frantic, but mostly confused.

"Hate? I don't hate you." His eyebrows are pulled together so tightly you're scared they might just fuse into one another.

"Could've fooled me." You pull up your underwear and pull on his shirt foregoing the tight dress.

"Look. I don't. Hate. You. Do you get on my nerves? Sometimes. But I could never hate you."

"So what? You wanna call the way you've treated me since I got here a proclamation of your undying love." He's silent. "You can't be fucking serious Rogers."

"Don't be like that, you gave just as good as you got." You scoff, but it's the truth. "Every time I look at you I want to fuck you, every time I see someone even look at you I wanna fuckin... I don't know!"

"Steve..."

"You terrify me. I have all these feelings for you, but you're so... you. You're so gorgeous, you're potty mouth and you're strong and you don't take shit from no one, not even me. I'm an idiot, I know that and I don't expect a sorry to fix anything, but I need you to know that that wasn't a one time thing, I want you."

"Well fuck. You have feelings for me?" He nods, simple, effective and oh so Steve Rogers. "I thought. I don't know what I though. I walked in here and you just stared at me and left, and I guess I though you took one look at me and decided I wasn't enough. So I decided I was gonna prove you wrong."

"I think you're everything. You've certainly proved me right." He looks angry, at himself at and the situation, but mostly at the fact that you'd ever thought those things about yourself.

"Right pair of idiots we are." You mutter, trying to lighten the you're-not-sure-what mood. He pulls you into his lap, rough hand resting around your waist.

"Aren't we just." He whispers against your lips.

"How many people did you tell to fuck off tonight? Just out of interest."

"Bout 15." He mumbles and then laughs, "don't regret a single one of them though."

You surge forward and press against him. His lips are softer than expected and his movements are so slow, so tentative. You arch into him, greed driving your need to make up for the last few wasted months.

A loud bang erupts from outside of the glass windows, popping into a concoction of golds and reds and pinks, until the New York skyline is littered with individual fireworks displays.

"Happy New Year Rogers." You whisper against his lips, though it turns into a breathless whimper when he pulls your panties to the side. "You get on my nerves too by the way. Like a whole lot."

"Yeah yeah. Happy New Year."

[cirrus-grey]

Didn't know about that Corruption theory before (and didn't wanna reblog the post for spoilers) but now I'm curious, what other theories did people have while the show was still airing? I joined the fandom around 160 so anything before that is a mystery to me.

Referencing this post (beware, it has spoilers for The Magnus Protocol).

Oh goodness, so so many. Only a few that I remembered off the top of my head, but I spent some time today trawling the depths of my "magnus archives speculation/analysis" tag and found a couple more fun ones.

Most of the ones I did remember are either still popular headcanons (Web!Martin), or actually turned out to be canon (Jonah!Elias). The Gertrude one always stuck in my head because it's very silly on the surface but also draws attention to the fact of like - how was her skin still in good enough condition to wear after being buried for months? (And Lietner's too, for that matter). Was Nikola just wearing really tattered rotten shreds???

Anyway. Some that I remembered, which all relate to Martin for some reason:

Backup Archivist: Heading into the Unknowing, Elias had Martin reading statements specifically to train him to be a stand in Archivist in case Jon died. Also included sub-theories that he could end up able to compel people on his own, share the role with Jon, or take over entirely if the show pulled a bait-and-switch and Martin was the real protagonist all along.

Who's the Father?: Every single possible theory about who Martin's dad was and what implications that could have on the show, from Leitner to Elias to Peter Lukes to that one dude Peter banished to the Lonely in his statement in 159.

Schwartzwald Cousins: Albrecht von Closen says he and Clara/Carla had trouble having kids in his first statement, but in a later episode says they have two boys. Part 1 of the theory was that the kids were actually avatars who'd emerged from the mausoleum after Albrecht disturbed it, and been adopted by the childless couple. Part 2 was - well - it's canon that Gerry is descended from one of these kids. The theory was, what if Martin was descended from the other? Gerry seems to have some Eye powers linked to his heritage and upbringing, so it was speculated that Martin might turn out to have some as well and be important to either Elias's plans, or to thwarting him (this tied into the Backup Archivist theory nicely). A sub-theory was that they were significantly closer cousins, Martin's mum's maiden name had been Keay, and Martin K. Blackwood was Martin Keay Blackwood all along.

And the ones that I found in the tag (credit in brackets):

Martin’s mum was a runaway Lukas (@/centaurianthropology, here)

The lighter was linked to the Desolation (@agnesmontague) + an addition by me that I'm so proud of in hindsight - "I think the web design pretty much confirms that it’s linked to the Web, but if it’s the Desolation as well, might it be linked to the other occasions we’ve seen those two powers interact? Namely, the ever mysterious Hill Top Road?" (Here)

Another of my posts that I'm delighted to reread (here) reminded me of the many, many, "what's up with the tapes?" theories. I remember "the tapes are sent by the Web", "the tapes are sent by Elias", "the tapes are manifestated unconsciously by Jon" (my personal favorite, sadly disproven), and I think there were also some "the tapes are Gertrude's ghost" posts???

Elias was the Eye the same way Michael was the Spiral - Gertrude sacrificed him to stop the Watcher's Crown (@/statementbegins, here)

Also reading through these is reminding me that there was a stretch where we were calling the Vast and Lonely the "Void" and "Isolation", which I love.

This is just a select few posts from 2018, so there's a lot more under the tag if you're interested in looking! Link below, copy and paste into a web (lol) browser because the archive (lmao) page doesn't work on the app.

https://cirrus-grey.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/magnus%20archives%20speculation%2Fanalysis

If anyone else remembers other old theories please feel free to drop them in the notes! I know there were so many more that I don't have saved.

[foster-the-world]

Makes life easier

I got a deal to sign up for HomeChef, again. The ease of having everything is nice. Very minimal food waste. Tasty meals. Its three meals for four people for $85 with the deal. I'll cancel before it goes back to full price.

I'm trying to compost again. NYC switched from compost garbage bins at community gardens to an app that lets you open electronic bins. It makes everything so much nicer. Now I know if the bin has space before I leave my house. I leave the food scraps in a bag in the freezer. We still have ALOT of waste but its something.

I haven't heard back from the nursing home. I need to call tmrw to followup. The guy made it sound like the job was mine. He said "you'll get a tour when you start. A week off at Christmas is no problem just email me the dates." and a few other comments like that. Maybe I missed something. I turned down the other job. The PTO was pretty shitty- which is probably why I had to ask for details four separate times. The pay was higher so I could have dealt with it but the commute was too long. It doesn't make sense to commute a long way when you have multiple healthcare facilities within a ten block radius anyway.

Our PTA board blew up. Fighting/cussing on the chat. Between the President and Vice President. I've only seen that level of anger on the community garden email chain - what a weird world we live in. Us human beings are a messy bunch. The Principal had a meeting with them. Poor women having to deal with this. The Principal is new and lovely. She took it all in stride but I can only imagine what she said to her husband at night.

Bee lost all three games at her chess match but she was still all smiles - which made me happy. Last time she lost pretty quickly. This time she took the full hour and actually only lost because she timed out. Which we are taking as progress. As a parent the atmosphere at this tournament was more pleasant. The team we shared a room with was nice and clapped for everyone. Including all of the parents when we walked by to go to the bathroom :) They were friendly and the kids were all talking amongst themselves. The last tournament we shared a room with a very intense private school. The students all seemed to have two parents and an adult coach who practiced with them during every second of down time. Meanwhile, my own kids were goofing off between games. Including Rebel dropping an entire container of nerds all over the floor. Anyway, I told Bee I was proud of her no matter what as long as she was a good sport. However, if she personally thought winning was important then she was going to need to practice. Right now she never practices - which is fine but not a path to improving. Her teacher said she's really good at picking the correct next move but needs to practice more to pull it all together. So far, she's asked to practice every night. Anyway, it was a fun afternoon. Although I admit it made me nervous about going back to work. I am 100% not used to being around people 8 hours at a time anymore. I'm an extrovert in two hour increments. 8 hours wore me out.

[ileftherbackhome]

Okay I'm ready to talk about it a little but the fact that she chose to write eyes open for the hunger games when it is so very clearly about her own experience with fame makes me think a lot of thoughts but mostly how she's painted 2016 as a war, a battle, a fight, etc etc in her work in particular with long story short. I fully believe long story short is a sequel to eyes open because it's honestly kind of scary how perfectly the themes of everlark as a relationship line up with the themes of swiftwyn as a relationship.

Okay, if you consider fame as a type of hunger games (a capitalistic system meant to exploit the labor and lives of literal children, taylor a literal child star need I say more) then it honestly makes perfect sense why she would decide to place special attention on these two songs because she could have easily switched babe/better man with eyes open/safe & sound (or any of the red vault tracks) but she chose these two hunger games songs to highlight and place in an obvious Easter Egg. She wants us to draw parallels between the hunger games and her life because she wants us to talk about how exploitative the entertainment industry is to children, but I think it's very interesting the order in which she released them (eyes open, safe and sound, then if this was a movie, then all of the girls you loved before) and I think that's a statement on how much better it got for her once she left the industry, because she loved reputation era so much and it's very evident.

She learned how to put up boundaries but most importantly, she learned how to believe in her own reality again. The most important theme in mockingjay is awareness, being aware of your own reality, being aware of what is real or not real, and being able to live in peace with someone you trust wholeheartedly to be able to help you make that very important distinction because it is the very fundamental basis of our sanity, the ability to prove to ourselves that we exist and not only do we exist, but our happiness and our emotions matter. They deserve to take up actual space in reality, and we deserve to make a space in our reality where we can live in peace and solitude- no matter what we've done or who we had to become in order to survive. No matter what lies we told or who we hurt in our quest for peace, we deserve to get that peace at the end of the day because we exist and we are real and we matter.

Children matter, our lives, our trauma, the things we experience matter and Taylor probably really enjoyed the hunger games because it made her feelings of depersonalization feel validated, because she probably really relates to katniss, the girl on fire, and how she's seen as the crown jewel but she doesn't feel like a jewel. She feels like a pawn, she feels used and dirty all the time and she doesn't know why (you don't feel pretty, you just feel used... fuck) and so that's probably why she decided to write those songs for the soundtrack to begin with, and the fact that they're so haunting and heartbreaking to listen to really showcases how not okay she was during red era but how good she was at hiding it.

And then the best part of the hunger games was always everlark, peeta was a man who loved katniss beyond all else and who spent his entire life making sure she stayed grounded to reality, making sure she had someone besides her to work through her trauma of being in the hunger games and who tried every day to make her existence as peaceful as possible. They were different in just the right amounts, the way joe comes off quiet, private and reserved and taylor is the social butterfly fits perfectly with how she probably feels like Joe is her peeta, like he's the only person in the world who is able to truly see the real taylor- who knows who she really is, even when the trauma of the fame/the lies of the industry are telling her otherwise, he's there to make her feel safe and loved and protected from the fire outside her window.

And long story short is literally the mockingjay epilogue, where Taylor says hey look bad shit happened, I was traumatized but I was able to find a rare comet in the sky while I was being exploited by the media so it worked out in the end but the trauma is real and it will never go away, I have to live with this forever so do you think it was worth putting me through all of that which is exactly what Suzanne Collins wants us to ask about the capitalistic society we live in today... okay, we have our phones and our electricity and our clothes but is it worth the lifelong trauma we inflict on real children every fucking day?

[astarions-little-nibble]

I'm ex-mormon. Grew up in the church and it never really took. I'm not an ass to the missionaries that come to my door because I still remember the the adults telling us what assholes ex-mormons are, that they're bitter and vile. Every ex-mormon I've met is a normal person just trying to live a normal life.

Except there's more than that when you're ex-mormon. If you just leave, you're not considered an ex-member, you're considered "inactive," you get that title once you miss 3 services. It is considered an act of service to bring these people back. I had people who never interacted with me at all go up to my parents and ask for my information. Someone managed to get my address and send missionaries my way, missionaries who would ask for me by my old name or ask for my sister, by her maiden name (even though she has never lived here).

They don't tell these missionaries that they are going to people's houses who haven't been to church in years. They don't tell them that they have been given an address that has been obtained through pressuring family members or some other weird means (I'm not even in contact with my family, and they know my married name and where I live). When they go to these houses, they think they're doing a good deed. I've told the last 3 I am ex-mormon, and the switch on their face every time is awful. It is an automatic gtfo button. It doesn't matter how gentle you say it, I am a fairly soft-spoken and patient woman who once got badly sunburned because i waited for a ride for 3 hours, only for me to apologize for getting said sunburn. I'm super nice about it. They still look at me like I'm about to sprout devil horns. But it's still so important to be nice to them, because I will not help reinforce the horror stories that lock them into that "us vs the world" mentality that they tried so hard to instill in me, which probably would have succeeded if a weird group of wiccans hadn't seen me sitting alone and decided they liked me. Be nice. Don't let the assholes win.

[cakejerry]

Like you (maybe? You had put a question mark) I am jm biased as well. The reason I got into bts was because of his unique tone. I can admit that, yes, jimin has times and days where his vocals aren't up to par, but I believe that it started happening when Bh led him down that higher voice road. I am in love with jm's lower register, it's always been my favorite but the higher tone .....for some reason I don't think it's his actual voice, if it was, he would've started out with it.

I like jk as well, jk on a vocal level is good but his performances.....🥴. My time is the most cringe performance I have ever seen. I get second hand embarrassment everytime and I can't watch it fully through. The world cup performance was lack luster as well. Jk as a vocalist is good, he's stable and he has that pop boy voice but that's it. There's no flavor. There's nothing about his voice that makes me want to listen to a full album.

And I know it might seem like I'm hating...I'm really not. Like you, I voice my opinions, even if others disagree, which I know you might since it seems like you're jk biased as well. Though it seems like you're more jk biased than jm's 🤭.

Then I saw you talked about jm's stage presence.....I must say I disagree. I'm confused, honestly.

What makes you jm biased cause you don't like his stage presence, and it doesn't seem like you like his vocals......so what is it that you like about him? Is it the jikook ship or something? Maybe I'm missing something 😭

Anon you might as well dm me so we can talk 🤭 I'll try to answer every part of this

1. The lore is that I was a hardcore jimin biased army from i need u to dna, and then switched sides to become a bts hater due to an avalanche of reasons (not writing that essay here). But through that time I would occasionally check up on them or find myself thinking hmm.... Bts sure do suck, but Jungkook has done nothing wrong ever and he is the Best and most talented kpop boy in the world and I hate bts but I love him. In fact i can tell you the exact time and date this switch started happening. I was already one foot out the door at this point.

Which I guess turned out to be true 🥴 I'm in my 2nd bts era rn, I plan to catch up with everything, and the second I started consuming content again it was apparent Jimin is my actual bias, not Jungkook. (i never resented jimin but liking him and the rest of bts was very cringe. I could write an essay on this.)

2. I think jimins voice does naturally fall in the higher range. Korean karaoke machines have tone settings, to switch songs by girls to a male register and vice versa, and in in the soop they made a point that Jimin switched to a higher range and Tae was like nooo. But just because that head voice comes natural doesn't mean it's usable anywhere besides heavily processed studio adlibs. He has never been able to sing any one of his 'high notes' live and im tired of pretending he did. I do love his lower register as well, as you might've seen in my posts about 'ma city' and 'danger'. I'd love if you sent me some more examples of your favourite of his vocal moments

6. I switched to jk because of his talent but I was jm biased because of his personality and that imo is way more important when it comes to idols. It's just that some people will act fake and be like "noo jimin totallyyy sung live!! No his voice didn't crack you're an anti!!" but im straight up about it. Idc about talent (i mean it doesn't hurt that hes the second best dancer but if he danced like jin i don't think it would change my mind). I first fell in love with his fat ass and thighs, his thick lips and chipped tooth and tiny pinky finger, then realized he's a fairy angel gangyangi baby boy, the self-proclaimed fake maknae, i think he's a person born to receive love and imo the only one who seems comfortable no matter who they're paired up with in the group? Maybe that's eering into delulu teritory but I'm a big 'soft cute jimin being doted on by everybody' truther. He's mochi to me. Jikook has nothing to do with it and I only started shipping it when they MADE me ship it, with adult ceremony and saying shit like 'i want him' in that one seasons greetings dvd

3. I watched my time just for you anon, and it's not that cringe!?? Maybe bc I opened a version with eng subs and immediately clicked out and found one without, so idk the subject matter but his vocals and stage presence are great? You'll have to tell me what you dislike about it. Dreamers is just.... The "of bts" is bigger than "jungkook" and that's obvious. He definitely wouldn't be able to make it without a group, but I don't think any of them would.

4. You're absolutely right that he's flavourless!! And posting your opinions is good, you should absolutely do it publicly!!! That's the problem with being a jack of all trades- he's a master of none. I get the appeal of any of the rest of the tannies vocal tones. And literally every time there's confusion about who is singing, jungkook the chameleon is at the crime scene. He's just a blank slate in life too, it's insane. He's the only idol who can genuinely go from cutie bunny to sexy sangnamja and pull off the edgy pierced tattoed look as well as the innocent flower boy vibe. And I'm saying that sincerely. There's a reason his stereotyping in fanfic ranges so wildly, from jock to nerd and from alpha to omega. I get what you mean about not desiring a full solo album from him but I'm in the majority boat of 'as long as the song is good idc who sings it' and that's why he has the potential to do well internationaly.

5. About stage presence.... I just watched 6 hours of fancams trying to formulate my point and ended up more confused than I was before 🫠. I'll try to sum it up.

Hoseok performs like he was born to do it. His facial expressions are an equal part of his dancing as his body, and he dances like he would die of he couldn't. He's an entertainer, a performer, he's energetic and electric on the stage, and in my mind's eye I cant even imagine him slacking off the way I'm about to describe for Jimin. I wouldn't say he owns the stage, but he definitely owns the largest part of it while still working in harmony with the rest of the team.

Jungkook is an idol group Center. And I specifically mean the jpop senbatsu model, where they all dance the same dance, no formations, but there is one fixed Center for every single. Jungkook is that. He's the one who will stand in the middle, represent the group while people dance and rap to the left and right of him. He's the one who will do the basic choreography so that the rest can add their flares to it, the one who will sing the whole song in the studio so that others can give their adlibs and harmonies. He will face the public head-on and he does it great

And here is the main difference between both of them vs jimin, and in my view the most important measure of stage presence: Eyes.

Specifically, where are your eyes when the camera isn't on you?

Everyone talks about Jimin's sexy gaze. Sure, fine. He has his killer parts. He has the moments in the songs tailor made for the camera to zoom in on him and capture his sexy expression. But... When that camera leaves and moves on to the next member... The audience is still there. And that's what Jimin seems to forget.

His default seems to be looking at the floor. He often seems like he's there just to dance, like he's counting the beats in his head, just waiting for His Part, or hyping himself up to Make A Facial Expression. His face doesn't dance like Hoseok's does, expressing the emotions of each song perfectly- he doesn't look straight on at the audience like Jungkook does, cocky and confident. He has two moods- serious and goofy. He's serious most of the time. Which means most of the time he looks and acts like a very good back up dancer, who is occasionally VERY GOOD at posing for the camera. And that's my other point- his face doesn't dance, it poses. There's a reason why in my time in the fandom I always saved fantakens of him but never watched any fancams. He's good at Posing. And making that face. And raising that eyebrow, or winking, or splaying out that tongue (something he does A Lot). He's good at being coquettish and flirty and inviting. For a few seconds before he gets... Embarrassed. It's all so scripted. It's all pre-planned, never spontaneous like H and Jk seem to be.

As I said, I watched fancams up to dna + fake love and boy with luv. Reflective on my opinion on him as a whole, I think he does marginally better in concepts like bwl, where he doesn't feel the pressure of being sexy- he can play around a bit and be goofy. Nothing is more emblematic of this than his war of hormone era fancams, which I watched and literally GASPED because.. That's what I want from him!!! Always!!!! That playfulness, that flirting with the audience, not just the camera!!! If you're still reading this, please go watch a woh era jimin fancam. It will change your life.

So I guess you can say I'm being too subjective and some people will find his blank expression and dead eyes very sexy. Sure. But I will forever prefer him SMILING to him doing any other expression (which all seem to blur into nothing) and I sincerely hope in my journey through the rest of their career I will find more instances of him owning the stage. I'll update. But having seen snippets of like crazy and some other songs... I doubt it 😔

[aroace-cat-lady]

hi

i have been questioning myself for the past days after a talk with some of my queer friends. and honestly i don’t know what to do about it, i don’t feel comfortable with talking to them until i am sure about my feelings about being in the aromantic spectrum.

i have never thought about it honestly because i didn’t even knew about aromantic until last week. i guess the hardest part for me it’s that even tho i am 22 and have plenty opportunities to date and even have sex, i have never did any of those. i have sexual feelings and feel sexual atrattion, but i have been questioning about having romantic feelings.

i like romance, i like romantic books, movies and songs, but every time romance stand in my way I run away from it… at first I thought “well it’s clearly trauma cause I don’t want to end up like my mom” but honestly it doesn’t makes sense since I do believe that love it’s real and you can find someone who actually respect you.

i had crushes before but now that I think about i think i only truly like one person in my life, and honestly i think he is the only person who i would be actually able to have a relationship with, even if I don’t have a close friendship with him anymore. the lasts two times i became close to actually date people i ran away in the moment it became too real for me, and the funny thing it’s: i honestly thought I was in love with one of them only to literally switch to feel nothing out of nowhere.

it’s just always feels like being in love it’s not something that it’s in my true plans… sometimes I do feel I would like to get married and find someone to spend my life with but it’s just so specific?? I think way more about having someone who’s a friend first by my side, a companion in hard days, the romantic side just comes with the important stuff to me.

I do feel I like the idea of being in love, it’s just hard for me and I feel like if I am going to be in a relationship it’s going to take a lot of effort from the man who wants to be with me… and I don’t see it happening…

Am I wrong to feel I am in the spectrum? Is there someone who feels something close to what I am feeling?

Well, first of all: I know how hard it is to write this kind of stuff into the ask box of Random Tumbler User™ (been there done that, actually) so thank you for trusting me with it.

Second: you don't need to figure it out right away. This is not a mortal illness that will kill you if you don't discovered it in time. It's about your identity, a beautiful part of your person. You can take all the time you need, even if you feel that you need to know right this second. It's okay not to be sure.

And third: I'm literally no one to tell you how you can label yourself. Again, sexually is not a disease: I can't tell you Oh, you have x symptoms and x signs so you are x sexuality. Unfortunately, that's not how it works.

But, against whatever internet culture is saying these days, you can label yourself even if you are not 100% sure. Actually, the aspec communities promote this a Lot™. Labels are just a name we put to a part of us that we feel is important to put a name to. Not everyone does it, and not everyone gets it right the first few times. One of my favorite "philosophies" of the aspec community is that you can use a label as long as you feel comfortable with it. Gatekeeping labels is not something we usually do. Thinking you might be x but turning out you were actually y it's not a bad thing. It means you got to know yourself better and got to see parts of you you wouldn't have seen otherwise.

Do I think you might be aro? Well, it doesn't matter in the end what I think, only you can decide if you want to call yourself an aromantic person. And I'm sorry I can't give you a straight answer, I know how frustrating it's. But if you decide to join our community, we'll be glad to have you.

Aromanticism and asexuality are particularly hard to figure out cuz ppl usually don't know what they are. Or have misconceptions of it. Or have an ideology that tells them that it's wrong not to have these feelings. At least to me, it was hard to accept myself for who I was because of these.

Well anon, again, Im sorry I couldn't give you a better answer. I hope this helps you at least a little bit, and that you don't beat yourself too hard with this.

[moonandflowersfairy]

hi if you make one for me i would appreciate it

your personality

loyal, introverted, calm, most of the time I'm always smiling, but never and really I'm a very depressed person I don't like to show my true feelings to others, sometimes I lock myself in my room for days, sometimes I'm very manipulative a little sadistic , I know what I want and I don't abandon anyone, quite stubborn, I'm like a tsudare, sarcastic, I try to solve problems in the conversation if I'm not afraid to succeed in the fight, sometimes I end up pushing people away because I'm afraid of disappointment, I don't let people come easily into my life, but who isn't, I always do everything to protect, enthralled, I hardly sleep

-What do you look like

my sign and libra, I'm 1.60 tall,

brown hair that goes over the shoulder, but I always leave it up, brown eyes, I almost always wear baggy clothes because my breasts are big and I'm embarrassed when they look at me, I'm also insecure because I have a lot of high mutilation scars, sometimes sometimes i'm a bit perverted

-what do you like

music, books, quiet places, animals, horror and action movies, drawing, sewing, macabre things

do not like

crowded places, people, monotonous things, leaving the house, doing unnecessary things that won't yield anything, talking

- what are you looking for in a relationship,

someone loyal patient, who I know will always be by my side, who is not afraid to say what he wants and what he wants, but also respects my space, who doesn't care about my sadistic side, and my silence

gender preference too

male, except taijo, baji, nayoha, i'm not comfortable with them

-and any facts about you think might work ♡

I'm very loyal, and would always be there to support and listen, he would always try to show my true feelings.

well i think it might have been a little confused i don't know how to spread it well if you want you don't need to do more if you have to😊

I match you with...

¡! Kawata Souya ¡!

Why?

You and Souya would be a complimentary duo, whenever you feel down he would comfort you and viceversa, he loves you in every possible way no matter your mood. Your relationship would be based around intimacy and little, simple moments you both share.

general headcanons:

¡! SFW ¡!

you met at a Toman meeting, you were part of the 4th division and Nahoya was talking to you about being more present in fights and stop messing with your division's victory. Souya saw you very uncomfortable and decided to step in the conversation and give the message to you instead of his brother.

he then later started looking towards your way more often, noticing how you were normally pretending. it seemed like only him noticed your behaviour so he tried to reach you, but being an introvert himself was a challenge.

mikey knew about Souya's interest in you, he started ordering both of you little errands together.

it was super awkward at first because none of you knew what to say

Souya asked for his brother's advice but got nothing good from it.

just like Chifuyu's plan b, he opted for courage.

he tried to approach you little by little, it took him months to get your number but he wanted to know you better

dates would normally occur by accident, you meeting him at a random place and then he inviting you to go for a walk around the city.

after almost a year (10 months to be specific) he asked permission to be your boyfriend. he went to your house with a bouquet of daises, mostly white and the attempt of a smile (he looked very cute ^^)

to others, your relationship was slow, but to Souya it was perfect, he didn't want to push you and respected your limits all the time.

when you told him about your depression he didn't knew what to do, he just gave you the most loving and warm hug he could give, you both cried

he loves you the way you are, he wouldn't change a thing from you

when you doubt yourself he'll reassure you of the amazing being you are and how special you are to him

will recommend you to look for help if you aren't getting it, and would accompany you to your appointments

always checks on you, he doesn't see you as a burden, he just wants to make sure you are safe and okay

whispers sweet nothings to you when you cuddle

likes to hold your pinky when you are in public

will blush hardly when he sees you in an outfit

marathon movie dates, he always gets scared af because of your excentric taste but uses it as an excuse to be near you

asks you to read to him, your voice calms him so much

you'll sleep the best with him, he is a human pillow and his hair is the softest

knows you are not a fan of Nahoya, so whenever you go to his house he asks Nahoya to go out or to stay quiet

you still see him a lot

Nahoya talked to you about your relationship with his twin and asked you to protect him, you also discused some things just to be clear about what you didn't like about him, he obviously stopped because he knows his brother loves you too much.

you are the only one who has seen him smiling, not even Smiley has seen him like that.

is the sweetest smile that exists, gives beautiful vibes, he does it more often for you

his love language might be quality time and acts of service

it doesn't matter where he is as long as you are there he is happy

¡! NSFW ¡!

again, he will never pressure you to do anything

sex isn't very important to him

he's a switch, more on the sub side

loves to fuck you face to face

will eat you out for hours just because he can and he enjoys it

and believe me when I say he can, because he CAN and WILL make you scream in seconds

loves your body so much

loves to bury his face in your breasts, licks them and sucks them up

his tongue is a god tool and will put it to use

the first time he saw your scars he kissed them, wouldn't want you any other way

praises you like if his life depended on it

its all about your pleasure

if you enjoy it, then he does it too

likes to be degraded

super sensitive in his neck and lower back

it turns him on when you are being perverted and try to tease him

loves you riding him, getting the perfect view, squishing your hips and licking your boobs

his dick is very pretty, normal length and girth, pretty pink in the head, a mole near his crotch, trimed

he prefers you to have hair

likes to cry during the act

choke him, trust me, the "demon" comes out

normally passionate sex, but angry sex with him is the best (lol)

sex in the bathroom is the most common

aftercare is amazing

makes you cum like 4 times, just to see his pretty s/o being in heaven by his own actions <3

[daisies: pureness]

hope you liked it love! I know depression sucks but you are not alone, I'll be here whenever you need me bubs 😚💖

¡! song recommendation ¡!

[girl-in-the-tower]

CHAPTER I

Ramshackle Dorm - Birthday Party Venue

Kore: Woah, to think the ghosts would go all out like this just for today! Even though I told them that they didn't have to bother with it, they wouldn't listen, at all... It's... It's kind of embarrassing to be fussed over like this! If it was Grim I would have understood but this, uh...

Ah! And I'm supposed to have a guest over today as well! Hm, I guess some tea should be in order... maybe some cakes as well... I wonder if there's any sugar left...

Ace: Yo!

Kore: Ah, just a moment- Oh, it's just you, Ace.

Ace: Ha? What's that supposed to mean? 'It's just you'? It's super rude to greet your dear guest like this, you know?

Kore: Is that so? But calling you a guest is...

Ace: What's that?

Kore: Hm...

Ace: Well, doesn't matter because my feelings were hurt either way! So I'll help myself to this krumkake to make myself feel better! Let's dig in~

Kore: Hey, that- Aaah, that was meant to be for Grim. He kept complaining all day yesterday that he should have a cake all to himself too since it's a special day so I woke up extra early just to make it for him. Now he's gonna be mad...

Ace: Haa? A whole cake just for that furball? You've got to be kidding me!

Kore: What are you talking about? You know how much he likes krumkake.

Ace: Nah, I doubt there's really anything that guy won't eat... But that's not the point. You're spoiling him too much. He's gotten really fat, you know?

Kore: It's fine. I still make sure he exercises and he looks cute round like that too, so it's not a problem.

Ace: No, I definitely still think there's something wrong here. Mainly with your head.

Kore: Haaaaaaa, you wanna pick a figh-

Ace: Oh, I almost forgot! Here you go!

Kore: ... What's this?

Ace: Isn't it obvious?

Kore: Well... Huh? Wait a minute- That can't-!

Ace: Ta-da! It's a limited edition Griffons varsity jacket that's been all the rage with Magift meatheads like you~

Kore: No way!! This is- This is-

Ace: Cool, righ- Hey!! Don't jump on me like that! You almost knocked me off the chair!

Kore: Sorry, hahaha! I was so happy I just couldn't contain myself! To think that I would be able to actually get my hands onto something so valuable!

Ace: Yeah, we figured you'd like i-

Kore: This season has really been a blessing from above for them, you know? Everybody is in top shape and playing at their best! I heard their new manager actually made them go through this super difficult training regime that has been working wonders for them. Though it's only speculation so far!

Ace: Uh, Kor-

Kore: If you ask me, it's definitely also thanks to those new brooms that they ordered for the team. The wood is apparently from the Valley of Thorns and super-resistant so they go all out without worrying about breaking them. For the moves that the team is pulling, they really need that propulsion time! Even a second helps when you're in a headlock. I remember back in the vs Mandrakes game that they switched brooms in between-

Ace: Heeeeey! You Magift boar woman! Can you hear me?

Kore: Wh-Why are you yelling like that?! I'm right next to you!

Ace: Haaaa, when you start talking about Magift you might as well be in a completely different world... No wonder they all think of you as the Magift Encyclopedia. I bet you have hundreds of useless pieces of information like that stuck in your head.

Kore: You-! Huh? What's this?

Ace: A-Ah! That!

Kore: It's rice pudding- Ah! It's homemade from the Mountains!

Ace: Hm? Ah, ye-yeah... That came with the jacket...

Kore: Eh? They put pudding in jackets when they sell them?!

Ace: O-Obviously! Don't tell me you didn't know? Bwahaha, man, you sure are clueless...

Kore: ... It's my favourite flavour too...

CHAPTER II

Ace: Alright, next to the first question!

Kore: Eh?! Question?! Is this a quiz of some kind?!

Ace: I guess you could think of it like that, so anyway- Your first question as today's birthday girl issssss: "If you were stuck on a deserted island, who would you take with you?" Hm, here it says that you can't pick members of your own dorm, but given that you guys don't even have a dorm, I'm not sure that the restriction applies. Not that it matters since you wouldn't choose Grim anyway, right?

Kore: Huh? Why not?

Ace: You're serious?! You'd pick that furball?! Hey, we're talking about a deserted island here so think carefully! Don't you want to get off it?!

Kore: Well, obviously I would... But...

Ace: But?

Kore: I can do that on my own.

Ace: Huh?

Kore: Survival is all about securing shelter, food and formulating an escape plan. If it's a deserted island I assume there would be some fauna and animals too, so we could feed ourselves through fruit gathering and hunting. It might be hard if we don't have any tools, however, but I think Grim's claws would be sharp enough to cut through the skin and meat fairly easily. I make sure he takes good care of them after all.

Ace: I-I see...

Kore: If there's no drinkable water then we'll have to boil some from the sea in order to deal with the thirst. Grim's flames, when properly utilized, would be able to do such a thing. Not to mention that he could start fires to keep us warm at night and to cook food to sustain us! Also, it could be a great emergency signal if we end up at sea and need rescuing.

Ace: You want to use him as a flare?!

Kore: That sounds so mean! I would only do that as a last resort, however! Grim's pretty sensitive about having his belly scratched so I wouldn't do anything to make him uncomfortable like that!

Ace: Haaaa, I get it, I get it! So you're saying that the furball has his practical uses too. But I can't help but worry about some flaws...

Kore: Flaws?

Ace: No matter how much you feed that glutton, his stomach will never be full, you know! Whatever provisions you managed to gather, he's sure to inhale them with the first occasion!

Kore: Wah- That's a horrible thing to say! There's no way my Grim is so selfish!

Ace: My Grim?! What is he?! Your child?! And he's totally selfish, you know!!

Kore: HAAAAA?! ARE YOU REALLY PICKING A FIGHT WITH ME?!

Ace: Ca-Calm down!! I take it back, ok?! You can bring the furball with you!

Kore: Hmph.

Ace: Seriously, getting this angry over that cat...

Kore: Isn't that normal? Grim is my special person, after all!

Ace: SPECIAL PERSON?!

Kore: The person you care for a lot, like they're part of you, right? Like Cay-senpai said!

Ace: I-I see, so that's...

Kore: Being on a deserted island isn't ideal, but at the end of the day I know I can be ok on my own. Farmwork, housework - those are things that I'm used to from the Mountains. Life isn't so easy back home, but we all make do with what we can - magic or no magic. Even if I'm stuck in a bad situation, I can manage to get through so I don't need anybody else.

Well, that's what I thought before I came to this place anyway...

Ace: ...

Kore: Besides you're wrong about something!

Ace: Huh?

Kore: In order to survive it's not just physical attributes that are important, but mental ones as well. And in that case, Grim has the real trump card!

Ace: He-He does?!

Kore: Mm! You see, Grim, he... has the cutest paws and the fluffiest fur in the world!

Ace: HUH?!

Kore: Mm! Every time I feel like giving up or am reaching the end of the rope, all I'd have to do is give his paw pads a little squeeze or lay on his tummy and my mood would instantly clear up again! In a situation full of despair like that it would make a world of difference, you know?

Ace: SO HE'S THERE JUST FOR MORAL SUPPORT?!

Kore: Well, that too! It's important after all!

Ah, this pudding is really good actually...

CHAPTER III

Ace: Haaaa, I give up... Your boar mind is way too difficult to understand...

Kore: HUH?!

Ace: Anyway, let's get on with our next question and- Ah.

Kore: Hm? What is it? You suddenly stopped in the middle of the sentence. Did the falcon get your tongue, hehe?

Ace: It's a cat, not a falcon! And I only stopped because- uh...

Kore: What?

Ace: "You're offered the chance to pick another dorm, which one would you choose?"

Kore: ...

Ace: I swear, that Headmaster doesn't even think of these questions at all...

Kore: Yeah, there's no way I can answer that...

Ace: I figured. So instead! "Please share your opinions on the dorms!"

Kore: Ah!

Ace: Nice, right? You can definitely count on me when it comes to quick thinking, you know?

Kore: ... I guess.

Ace: You guess?!

Kore: I'll start with Diasomnia then!

Ace: Hey, don't ignore-

Kore: Hm, I'm not really sure about the atmosphere there but- Don't you think that their interior decor is pretty fancy? I haven't seen stuff like that in magazines for quite a while, so I feel like it's definitely something that must have required a lot of work! It's kinda dreary though, what will the windows not letting enough light and the greenery around it could stand to be looked after better, hm...

Ace: So you're only interested in the decor, huh? Alright, what about Ignihyde?

Kore: It's too technological.

Ace: Huh, I guess that you're right. For somebody like you, it would really be a struggle living there...

Kore: ...

It's even more depressing than Diasomnia, so I feel like I would be stuck in a bad mood without enough sunlight, you know? Though I must admit, it really is super clean inside! That's a very important detail! Clean homes are necessary for good health!

Ace: There you go again, sounding like a mom... Next is Pomefiore!

Kore: IT'S SUPER FLASHY!

Ace: I know~?

Kore: No, no, you don't get it! It's so flashy it actually scares me! All that pomp and glamour! The rugs themselves look like something from the fall collection that sold out about twenty years ago and the chandeliers are bound to be at least four times Theo's salary! Walking through those hallways is like stepping on opulence! A continuous loop of flashiness!

Ace: HEY! Get a hold of yourself! Let's go over to- Ah, Scarabia...

Kore: It's so hot there!!

Ace: Oh, yeah, you're super weak to heat so you'd definitely hate it there. Right?

Kore: Mm, hate is... I think that if it was the old me, I would never have even stepped in there. But now I feel like... Yeah! I definitely think that I can give it another try! Scarabia is pretty rich too, but it feels more homely? There's a lot of people gathered around and there are banquets and feasts pretty often too. It's always lively and warm... In a way, I imagine that's what a home would feel like...

Ace: ...

Kore: I can't say the same for Octavinelle however. Hmph!

Ace: Bwahaha, that's true. It really feels like you'd get scammed in there pretty quick.

Kore: Not even that! But building a dorm underwater? I admit the decor is pretty nice and classy, but the atmosphere is too cold! There's a lot of types that I can't get along with at all so it would definitely be a miserable time for me. No, I definitely don't want to set foot there ever again!

Ace: I totally get it~ All that commotion after the exams was enough for me too. Guess the same goes for Savanaclaw too, then?

Kore: ...

Ace: HA?!

Kore: I-I refuse to believe that anybody who loves Magift is a bad person!

Ace: There's that meathead in you talking again! Are you seriously that obsessed with it?! I feel like there's a sickness that applies in this case!!

Kore: He-Hey!! That's way too- I understand that what they did was bad, and I definitely haven't forgiven Kingscholar-senpai yet, but there are definitely good points to them as well! I think!

Ace: So you're not even sure?!

Kore: A-Anyway, as for Heartslaybyul-

Ace: Don't go changing the subject!

Kore: - if I had to pick that would be my favourite.

Ace: Huh?

Kore: I love Scarabia too, a lot, but at the end of the day all that rich atmosphere is scary. I really don't feel like I would belong there at all. I'd stick out like a sore thumb among everybody else - more than usual at the very least. But in Heartslaybyul, even if Rosehearts-senpai is strict, I feel like everybody is sort of content with the oddness. There's not much that stands out about it, but I think that's what makes it so appealing, you know?

Ace: ... So... what you're saying... Is that we're a shabby dorm full of weirdoes?

Kore: I-I wouldn't go that far...

Ace: But that's the gist of it, isn't it?!

Kore: Ummmmm...

Ace: ... Alright, I get it.

Kore: Huh?

Ace: You know, it just so happens that there's one more thing I have to tell you about.

Kore: One more thing?

Ace: Yup! You see, there's this tradition where the presenter has to give the 'gift of fortune' in order to make sure this ends up being a great birthday! And it just so happens that you're lucky enough to have me here today to deliver the goods~

Kore: Huh? What are you-

[SPLATTER]

Kore: ...

Ace: BWAHAHA, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST STOOD THERE LIKE THAT!

Kore: ...

Ace: Oh man, the look on your face is hilarious! Oh, let me take a quick picture to show the others too!

Kore: ...

Ace: Ok, so then- He-Hey! Don't- AUGH! MY FOREHEAD!

[thearvariblues]

Now, how do I explain this. (Bear with me, I'm having a headache from hell and I'm trying very hard to make sense.)

On one hand, it's all about the narrative, you know, and things either fitting into it, or not fitting into it, and also, maybe more importantly, adding to it, or being there only for the hell of it. Basically, it's the difference between "we did this because it felt right" and "we did this because we can so STFU".

I'm gonna risk being labeled as prude (trust me, my AO3 history begs to differ), but in the series I watch, I'm not a big fan of horny just for the sake of horny. Don't get me wrong, I like watching pretty boys (and girls, lets not discriminate) going at it, but I also like it when them going at it has some narrative purpose. When it pushes the characters to a new place in their relationship, when it changes something, when it's important.

"But Arvari, people fuck for fun, you know." Yes, I know. People also play video games for fun, that doesn't mean I need a five-minute-long detailed scene of a character doing it in every episode.

Like, look at KinnPorsche as a series that did it right. There's only a handful of smutty scenes, and most of them aren't even up to today's "standards" of high heat, but each of those scenes is narratively important for establishing the dynamics between the characters. Am I making sense? (But really, am I, because the headache ain't getting better.)

This is basically the reason why I loved LITA (very horny, but also those scenes were there for a reason - though let's face it, I'm talking mostly about the PrapaiSky part of the series) and couldn't stand the special episode (just a lot of fucking with a poor excuse of a plot to glue the fucking scenes together).

And then there's also, of course, the difference in how the scenes are shot in the first place. Every time stupid discourse like this comes up, I remember this quote from Terry Pratchett: "Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken."

Some series, like Century of Love, or (by today's standards, anyway) even KinnPorsche in a way, use feathers. Feathers are pretty much never too much.

Some series, like My Stand-In (my beloved) or Deep Night kinda switch between feathers and chickens, and can be a bit too much for some viewers. (There's one sex scene in MSI that still feels like too much to me, despite all the love I have for the series.)

Some series (sorry, I have no examples left, brain not braining) are purely a chicken territory, and there's nothing wrong with liking those, but there's also nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable watching it. It's a matter of preference.

And then there are shows (looking at you 4 Minutes), where even the few gifs I've unfortunately seen feel like being whacked over the head with an overfried family-sized KFC bucket.

Hope this helped, though I'm sure it didn't. ✌️

tl;dr I suppose: it's all a matter of preference, so just watch whatever you personally like and stop caring about what other people say. also bitches always gonna find reasons to bitch so ignore those and you'll be much happier (says me, who can't ignore a single bitch ever)

Some bl drama fans when a series is horny at all

The same people when a show isn't

[makeste]

I read the meta you reposted about anyone being able to become a hero, and I would just like to give some thoughts. I agree it is wrong to think in terms of good vs bad victims and measure everyone as the same. Just because Shoto never killed anyone in response to his abuse and Toya did doesn't mean that Toya was always an evil person looking for an excuse to break bad. Different people break from different things.

these are all good, well-reasoned points, anon, but I disagree with a few of them. let me try to explain.

so the thing about this whole atonement process is that it’s hugely complex, and there isn’t really any kind of roadmap for Endeavor to follow when it comes to trying to make things right. I actually appreciate that his arc is written in such a way that his epiphany doesn’t just happen all at once, and you can see how his approach gradually turns from one that’s still mostly selfish and centered on him, to one that’s actually focused on his kids and what they need. you can see the stages he progresses through as the series goes on.

1. I’d argue that it all starts when he first gets yelled at by Deku (“Todoroki isn’t you!”). he realizes that maybe this kid has got a point, and that treating his son as an extension of him rather than as his own person might just be sorta shitty. so he files that away, but we don’t really see much of a change in him yet.

2. then a few months later he gets thrust into the #1 hero role, which has the interesting psychological effect of forcing him to see past himself and his ego for perhaps the first time in his life. he suddenly finds himself in this position as the new Symbol, and starts to feel the responsibility of that, and it basically triggers the entire rest of his redemption arc. because once he starts looking outside himself, he starts to realize the impact his actions have on other people, including his family. for the first time, he starts looking at the situation with fresh eyes, and realizes how much he’s hurt them.

3. quick little detour here, I feel like it’s important to note that Endeavor -- like many abusers -- actually does love his family and never intentionally set out to hurt them. but the problem is that he is so self-centered for most of his life that he never stops to consider that his family and his kids don’t simply exist to serve his own purposes. he abuses Shouto during his training but I’ll bet you he himself never thought of it as actual abuse, just him being hard on him in order to toughen him up. he thinks he’s doing what’s best for Shouto by making him strong in the hopes that he’ll one day surpass All Might, because that’s always been his goal, and so he just unilaterally decides that should be Shouto’s goal too. he wants the best for him, but it never enters his mind to consider that his son is his own person who, gasp, might not actually want the same things that Endeavor wants. btw I should clarify that absolutely none of this excuses anything he does, holy shit. but I feel like it’s important to mention, because many people complain that the change in Endeavor happens too abruptly and is too unrealistic, but I don’t think that’s true at all. it’s just that people don’t like to acknowledge that abusers are still human (meaning that anyone can become one if they’re not careful to consider how they treat others). Endeavor’s actions are monstrous, but they stem from realistic places, and I think that it’s a very well-thought-out character arc.

4. and so basically, once that change finally starts happening, it’s not that he suddenly starts loving his kids all of a sudden out of nowhere. it’s that he finally starts loving them for their own sake, rather than his. for the first time, he starts loving them selflessly rather than selfishly. and it’s not a change that just happens overnight, because he is so used to everything revolving around him that even after he starts realizing what he’s doing wrong, it still takes him a while to break free from those patterns.

5. and so for example, he suddenly becomes wildly supportive of Shouto and his training and attempts to go full-blown helicopter parent. because clearly that’s what Shouto needs, right?? all those years he was trying to make him into his own personal mini-me rather than loving his son for who he was and supporting him as his own person. and so we see him hounding Shouto in texts to let him teach him his Ultimate Technique (but not because he wants him to surpass All Might, but because he just wants him to be the best hero he can be! it’s different now!), and attending his training sessions to cheer him on from the stands like an obnoxious soccer mom. and afterwards he tells him he’s proud of him, and that he wants to become someone Shouto can be proud of.

6. so you can see there’s some progress at this point, but at the same time he’s still making a lot of the same mistakes. his intentions by this point have genuinely changed! but he’s still looking at the situation from his own point of view, and not taking into consideration how his son feels about the forced attempts at reconciliation. he’s thinking ‘I was a shit father, I need to make it up to him by being supportive.’ but he doesn’t stop to consider that Shouto might not WANT his support by this stage in the game; that he might, in fact, not want anything to do with him at all.

7. and this doesn’t change until after his battle at Fukuoka, when he has dinner with his family and Natsuo blows up at him. he basically lays it all out on the table, but this is the most important part:

I am willing to bet that he did not, in fact, get it until pretty much that moment, actually. because up until this point, he’s been doing exactly as Natsuo said -- trying to make nice, trying to show that he’s changed, and to be a good father now. but he doesn’t stop to consider (a) just how much hurt he really has caused them, and (b) just how impossible it is to simply erase all of that. the pain Natsuo’s expressing here isn’t something people can simply get over. and I don’t think Enji realizes until this moment that he was still going about this in the wrong way.

8. and that, lastly, is what finally leads to this:

he finally realizes that it’s not about him. and apologizes, but makes it clear that Natsuo does not have to forgive him, and that he doesn’t want to burden him by making him feel otherwise. he acknowledges Natsuo’s feelings, acknowledges the pain he’s caused, and realizes that what he and the others need is space. and this is when he makes the decision to build the new home for them and Rei, so that they can finally start to move on -- without him, if that’s what it takes.

so this is basically the progression of Endeavor’s redemption arc up to this point. and I’m sorry it took so long to recap, I didn’t mean for it to lol, but there were a lot of parts I didn’t want to just gloss over. so now, here are a few last points I want to make about his arc.

1. first off, it’s important to consider the timeline here. when making your point earlier, you talked about Endeavor building the new home for his kids, but how “on the other hand” he kept trying to force his relationship with Shouto. however the order of these things is switched around. because Endeavor building the house is something that happens at the end of his arc. and in fact we have not seen him try to force anything with Shouto since then. this is important to acknowledge because it shows that he is learning and that it’s not just an insincere case of one step forward, two steps back. the progress he’s making here is genuine; he really is trying not to be selfish anymore.

2. I know I said “the end” of his arc just now, but in fact we have no reason to believe that this is the end of it. every time I see an argument about “well why hasn’t he done this yet, or why hasn’t he said this”, I wonder why people assume that just because he hasn’t done it yet, it means we’re never going to see it. for instance, he still hasn’t apologized to Shouto specifically for the way he abused him all those years. but just because we haven’t seen it yet doesn’t mean that it won’t happen.

3. fandom has this tendency, when it comes to characters they don’t like and don’t want to see redeemed, to continuously move the goalposts so that no matter what that character does and how much they change, they can continue to justify why it’s not enough. I’m going to take a quick break from Endeavor and use Bakugou as the example here instead, since I think it’s easier to summarize.

“Bakugou is such an asshole, all he cares about is himself, he’s definitely going to become a villain.”

[Bakugou refuses to join the villains] “well whatever, he’s still a jerk, just look at how he can’t even work together with others and refuses to help anyone.”

[Bakugou learns to Win and Save, and unlocks the Power of Teamwork] “well whatever, he still doesn’t care about anyone else. look at how he’s still an asshole to Deku even now.”

[Bakugou starts helping Deku train and learn how to control OFA] “whatever, that’s literally the bare minimum, there’s still no proof that he even cares about him.”

[Bakugou literally takes a life-threatening blow to save Deku] “whatever, it’s like he said, his body moved on its own so there’s still no proof he really cares.”

[Bakugou wakes up from a two-day coma, immediately asks about Deku’s health, and rushes to his bedside] “whatever, I don’t know why everyone is making such a fuss over it, he hasn’t even apologized to him yet.”

and so on and so forth. and I guarantee that once he finally does apologize, it will then shift to “well why couldn’t he just have done that in the first place.” but you get my point.

basically, there are certain characters whose redemption arcs fandom will actively continue to deny no matter what. Bakugou is one of those characters, and so is Endeavor. and I’m not saying that in order to call those people out, because everyone has their own boundaries of forgiveness, and I don’t have the right to dictate anyone else’s, just like they don’t have the right to dictate mine. everyone has their own line, and where it’s drawn is different for each person. like for me, the one particular character who can fuck off for all eternity as far as I’m concerned is Overhaul (although I admit I am still curious to see what Horikoshi has planned for him post-prison break in spite of all that). and there are a lot of other people for whom Endeavor crosses their own personal line. and you know what, that’s fine.

but here’s the thing -- if you actually want to debate his redemption arc with people, you should be willing to do so in good faith. meaning that if you really do think Endeavor is unforgiveable (and I’m speaking now in general terms, not addressing you specifically anon), just go ahead and say so! but don’t come up with an arbitrary list of criteria that he needs to meet in order to qualify for redemption, only to keep on adding more and more items to the list. and most importantly, don’t assume that your criteria are the only valid criteria and that you can speak for everyone else. and especially don’t act like you have a right to go around slapping people with labels like “abuse apologist” just because they don’t share the same opinions as you about a fictional character.

anyway! so as usual, a post that I originally meant to be only a few paragraphs long turned out to be a whole damn essay, I apologize. but anyways anon, basically I share the same opinion as you as far as the mindset that Endeavor needs to have for his atonement (i.e. that it’s not about him). however, I think he’s made more progress than this ask gives him credit for, and I don’t think any of it has been fake. that being said, it’s still a process, and his biggest tests are yet to come. whatever ends up happening, I hope the outcome ends up being one that the rest of his family can find peace with.

[akaiamedama]

Of crocodiles and rings and a possible connection to a teased weakness

Crocodile is a guy that is real extra and dresses sharp and loves his bling bling, right? He’s a man of high standards, so of course, he’s gotta wear bling to show that. Other bling loving characters are Capone Bege and Blackbeard for example. All three of them like to show off that bling. Now why do I mention the other two? Coz look at these three bling loving gentlemen, wearing rings on every finger and tell me where the difference lies. I’ll wait.

Exactly!

As opposed to Bege and Blackbeard, Crocodile doesn’t wear a ring on every finger. Obviously he cannot wear 10 rings coz he only got one hand with 5 fingers but he also never wears 5 rings. No, no. This guy, ladies and gentlemen, kinda makes it a point to always leave out one finger and that’s the ring finger. Ha- interesting.

Now, of course this could be mere coincidence. But let’s be realistic here, it’s Oda. He clearly has a reason for it as he’s been true to this detail ever since Crocodile was introduced over a decade ago and the only real question is ‘why’?

Why would Crocodile do that? He clearly loves wearing rings so why not wear them on every finger? Why leave out the ring finger for crying out loud? If one wanted to leave a finger without a ring, one would probably leave out the pinky or the thumb but who puts rings on every finger and leaves out the ring finger? I tell you who.

Crocodile. That’s who.

If you’re one who believes in symbolism and all that stuff, then you’d probably find it interesting that the ring finger symbolises releationships with others especially romantical ones as it is seen closest to the heart and therefore or because of it is the finger a wedding ring is worn on. In most cultures the engagement ring is worn on the right hand and the wedding ring on the left as the right hand is often the ‘physical’ one and has a greater visibility. It’s probably interesting to note that the left hand is considered to represent your character and beliefs. Ha. Interesting that Crocodile is missing that one, huh? Anyhow, in Crocodile’s case left or right hand doesn’t really matter as he only has one left (duh) so an argument can be made that sides don’t matter and the importance lies on the finger itself.

The way it looks right now is that he’s making a statement leaving out the ring finger and there are a few possibilites here. Of course it could be a family ring and he could be from an important family but really, not only would that be a bit to similar to Doflamingo, it would also not make sense to not just replace the family ring on the occations he’s not wearing it. But he never wears a ring on that finger so one can only come to the conclusion that there’s some sentimental thought behind that.

The most logical would be that there is a ring he believes should be on that finger. Either he’s keeping it free for a future event coz he doesn’t have the ring yet (which I doubt) or he’s keeping it free coz technically there already is a ring for the finger. This could be a ring he doesn’t have anymore and regrets it (like he lost it with his left hand or threw it away) or a ring he does have but decides not to wear for his own reasons. Whichever it is, it clearly has such an important value that he doesn’t just covers it up or replaces it. 

Now, given the ring finger and it’s symbolism the thought of a wedding ring isn’t too far fetched. We don’t know enough about his past to say that he could never have been married so I think it’s worth looking into.

Let’s just imagine for a second, that the ring missing is indeed a wedding ring, what could that mean?

He could have had a wife but she died and even though he’d technically not be married anymore, people who lost their partner almost always keep their wedding ring as a memento. If they move on, they don’t wear it anymore but they often keep it. This could give another perspective to the ‘wounds’ Daz was referring to after Marineford as he was clearly not talking about Luffy’s physical wounds but about the emotional wounds that came with losing a loved one.

Crocodile could have had a wife but she betrayed him and he took the ring off as to break the relationship and connection. Then the choice to not wear a ring on that finger in the future could serve as a reminder to himself not to trust people, not even those close to you. This could possibly explain his huge trust issues.

However, these two scenarios, while possible, don’t strike me as the most likely simply due to the two following scenes:

“If you want to protect something, do it right!!” 

This could be totally random and only refer to the moment at hand but it could also indicate that he knows a thing or two about how to successfully protect someone. Which leads us to the infamous

“I know one of his weaknesses ...!! But if he cooperates with us ... then I won’t say anything about it!!”

Think about it, the biggest weakness ANY pirate of Crocodiles caliber could have is a loved one or people they care about and their identity and location to be known by the public or enemies (marines, pirates etc.) because no matter how powerful a pirate you are, if information like that was to spread and reach the wrong ears, this could have catastrophic consequences for you and the people you care about. It’s used over and over in OP stories like when the marines hunted down Gol D. Rogers offspring and slaughtered all newborn who could potentially have been Roger’s child or when the marines swore to kill Luffy for being Dragon’s son or when Zeff was used as leverage to force Sanji to comply. I doubt anyone knows Usopp is Yasopp’s son or that he had a woman and child in Syrup village otherwise someone would have probably attacked them to get back at Yasopp. Maybe that’s one of the reasons he left them. As to protect them.

Ivankov and Croc met years ago when Croc was still considered a rookie, so in his early/mid twenties. If there is indeed a ring to that finger and the person is still alive, Ivankov could know her identity or location and this could totally be the weakness Ivankov was refering to. Of course this only works if the person is still alive. 

Now I know, you’re probably scratching your head, thinking I might be a bit nuts going this direction considering it’s Crocodile we’re talking about but really, think about it. His choice of jewelry is mega weird so what could be the reaaon for it? Also it’s hardly the weirdest theory out there (looking at you femCroc theorists).

This would also tie in neatly with why he decided to have his Baroque agents working in teams of two with male/female. I mean, unlike other characters, he clearly doesn't seem to see women as the weaker sex and him having his agents work in pairs has to be grounded somewhere. Maybe he was raised like that and his parents where a good example of how well men and women complement each other or maybe he made the experience himself. If so, I tend to think that he wasn't betrayed by the woman... or maybe he was and that's one of the reasons why he was so paranoid and basically expected Robin to betray him. All possible, really.

It’s also apparent that Oda incorporates marriages a lot more often nowadays than he did in the early years of One Piece. Mr 9 and Mrs Mondey got married on a cover page and have a baby, Capone got married and his henchman Gotty married too, Sai and Baby 5 married, Sanji and Pudding were meant to marry and let’s not forget poor Senior Pink’s backstory. 

Last but not least, I’d like to point out a seemingly random fan question Oda answered in an SBS which seems just kinda odd once you consider everything I said above.

Now the question focuses on “they never had a child” and “I wonder what faces their children would have”, yet Oda starts with “They’ve been to weddings before ...” ... WOW. Really? Why would he say that? XD No one even asked about weddings. Funny. So they’ve been to weddings, huh? As what? Guests? Grooms? You know? It doesn’t seem to mean anything but if you consider Crocodile’s rings and such imo it’s just a weird thing to say. Then the mysterious “I wouldn’t say whether they had children or not ...” ..... 

Note: Especially during Alabasta Oda often forgets to draw Croc’s rings at all or accidentally leaves out the wrong finger but he is consistent with the rings since Impel Down. He still forgets them from time to time but he doesn’t switch the fingers anymore so one could reason that he had a vague idea of Crocodile’s reasons behind the rings when he introduced him but only solidified it or gave it more details once Croc showed back up. The anime and games however often just leave out the wrong ring probably thinking that it doesn’t matter.

[catxsnow]

CHALLENGE G.L.

REQUEST: could i pls request some gar logan x reader fluff where gar has a huge crush on the reader who's very self assured and confident and he keeps his feelings to himself because he doesn't think he's enough for her. then one day she corners him and asks why he's been so distant and he confesses his feelings and it all becomes a big fluffy mess. bonus if the reader was subtly flirting the whole time and gar was oblivious.

Warning: fluff, Gar being sad a little

A/N: First Gar fic! I hope you all enjoy! 💕

Part two

Word Count: 2.7k

Being a part of the Titans was everything you could dream of and more. For once in your life you finally felt like you belonged somewhere. Your teammates, your friends - they were more than that - they were your family. No matter how much they fought, you knew that you would always be there for each other.

Much like Dick and Jason, you were only human. On a team filled with people of extraordinary powers and abilities, you should have been the kind of person that felt intimidated. However, being without powers and still deserving a place on this team made you maybe a little too confident.

You were cocky when it came to showing off why you deserved to be there just like everyone else. That attitude rubbed off on you when you weren't training or in the field too. Even just lounging around the tower you oozed confidence. A lot of times in your life, you found that girls would be envious of you and boys would be intimidated by you.

You became a challenge.

Even within the safe walls of the tower you were still within danger of being the prey. Jason Todd relentlessly tried to win you over. He adored your skills, your beauty, the incredible intelligence you maintained all while keeping a humorous mentality. You were the definition of perfect to many.

And you knew it too. It was rare to ever see you put yourself above others, but you were well aware the affect you had on people. After years of being put on an unwanted pedestal of perfection, you knew that people desired you. It was what made you so confident in yourself. Thankfully, you knew well enough to keep yourself humble. Mostly.

Jason continuously tried to flirt his way into your life. Though you enjoyed the playful banter between the two of you, he wasn't the person that you were interested in.

You and Gar were best friends. The second that you two met it was an instant connection - he brought out a side of you that had been tucked away for so long. Around him you could be your playful, care-free self. You didn’t have to worry about maintaining the facade that people expected from you. He was like a breath of fresh air every time you were with him. It was nice to finally have someone befriend you for more than just your beauty and skills.

"Come on, Gar! You can do better than that."

Training day was always your favourite day. It was the only time that you felt like you could truly let off some steam. Kicking ass against some bad guys always did you good too, but you always had to restrain yourself to some degree. Training allowed you to go all out and gave you the time to improve your skills.

At the moment, it was you and Gar sparring in the ring. Once the dummy you were using had been beaten down multiple times, you needed a live, moving opponent. Gar was the nearest person you could find who wasn't busy. Most of the time, it was Jason you sparred with - he had a similar set of skills to you.

"You know my hand to hand skills are no where near as good as yours," Gar complained. He laid flat on the mat with a bruised ego as you stood above him. As much as he had been learning from you and Dick, he didn't even compare. He had powers, he didn't need to be as reliant as you with pure skill alone.

"Then don't use them," you stuck your hand out to help him up. "Let out the beast, I can handle it." Gar immediately shook his head, he didn't want to hurt you - being the tiger could do some serious damage against you. Being human meant you healed like a human, he wouldn't forgive himself if something happened.

"(Y/N), we talked about this," Gar argued. He ducked, narrowly missing your left hook. The two of you circled each other on the mat. You were in your usual training attire - shorts and a sports bra. It also happened to be Gar's favourite outfit on you, and the most distracting. "I'm not going to fight you like that."

"Yes, you are," you confidently told him. Gar tried to make the first attack this time. He lunged towards you and jabbed his fist towards your face but you had seen it coming. You grabbed onto his arm and twisted it behind his back. His knees buckled as you kicked the back of them and your arm wrapped around his neck. "I'll even say please."

Gar shivered as your breath fanned against his neck. Over the time that the two of you spent in the tower, he realized that his feelings for you were a little more than friendly. Just like any other man you came to encounter, he had fallen for you alluring spell. It broke his heart to know that he never stood a chance to win you over. Not when there were people like Jason out there.

"No."

"Gar."

"I don't want to hurt you!" He broke out of your hold and turned to face you. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. Every time you came back from some sort of mission with cuts and bruises, he wanted nothing more than to take that pain away from you. You were far too precious to have to go through any pain.

"You won't. I can handle myself," you assured him. "Besides, I always enjoy the view when you switch back to yourself," You winked at him. Gar's face flared up red with embarrassment - He hated not having his clothes after he used his powers. You on the other hand, always liked getting glimpses of him.

"I'm definitely not doing it now," Gar muttered, still blushing. Your grinned at him being so flustered by your compliment. You reached up to pat his cheek, but it had only made his redness worse. 

"Fine, I guess I'll go find Jason or Dick to spar with," you dragged out your words, hoping that he would get the hint that you wanted to train with him, not either of them. He didn't, of course. As always, unless you were being direct he never picked up on your desire to hang out with him. At the mention of Jason's name, he had already given up.

Gar hid the hurt look on his face as you offered to train with someone else. It seemed to be good timing too, Jason had just been walking by when he saw the two of you and decided to pop in to see how things were going. "Look at that, once again just impeccable timing," Gar had a noticeable tone of frustration in his voice.

He left the training room without another word, unable to see the sad look on your face as he left. Jason on the other hand, looked thrilled to get to train with you again. It was Gar that you wanted to spend time with, not him. It was always Gar that you wanted to see, he was the most important person in your life.

"Gar!" You called after him. He either didn't hear you or decided to ignore you. Either way, you frowned at his departure.

His smile would light up any bad day you were having. No matter how bad his jokes were, they always seemed to put a smile on your face. You even suffered through him playing his video games just to see him excited over a win. And when he asked you to play against him, of course you couldn't deny it.

"You ready, princess?"

"Call me that again and you won't get back off the ground."

><

Gar had been avoiding you.

At first, it was subtle. He would be late enough to dinner that his usual spot beside you was taken. He then started to choose someone else to spar with during training. That you weren't surprised about, after the last time you figured that he would go with Dick instead of you for the next few times.

If you were in the living room, he would stay in his room. If you ever went to go visit him there, he would claim he was just about to jump in the shower and he would catch you later. By that point, you were far past suspicious of his behavior.

Gar was your best friend, and without him your days were lonely. It had only been a few weeks since he started ignoring you, but you missed him. The short time apart realized how much you truly cared for him. You knew that these feelings you had for him had been there for quite a while, but you never realized how strong they were.

You wished that Gar was more than a friend towards you. With him ignoring you, it was easy to assume that he didn't feel the same way. You whole life was spent with boys chasing you, and when the one you cared about most wasn't, well it was a shock to you. Gar was the only person you wanted to looking at you with admiration and now he couldn't even look you in the eye.

After giving him his space for a few weeks, you decided enough was enough. Gar was your best friend and he sure as hell wasn't acting like it. Whatever was going on with him, you needed to know. The only way that you could help him get through whatever he was going through was to know everything.

So, when you saw him sneaking into the kitchen for a late night snack, you cornered him. Gar was peaking in the fridge as you stood behind the door. There was no way that he was going to avoid you this time. The second that he closed the door and saw your figure standing there, he got so frightened his eyes turned bright green.

"(Y/N)!" Gar shouted, nearly dropping the jug of milk he had grabbed. His hand was over his chest after the surprise and his eyes wide. "What, uh, what're you doing here?"

"You've been avoiding me, Garfield," you got right to the point. A nervous smile covered his cheeks "And don't try lying to me that you haven't, I know you better than that. You're my best friend, Gar. I'm worried about you, what's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Gar stated. He turned away from you to continue making his midnight snack of what you assumed was going to be cereal. It was always his go to - you knew that. However, his hesitance to tell you how he was feeling was what made you nervous. He was never like this, not towards you.

As soon as he tried to pass you, you snatched the bowl of cereal out of his hand and stood before him. There was no way he was getting out of it this time. Not with the way that he was acting.

"(Y/N)," Gar whined. You gave him a look that insinuated that you weren't about to give up. He tried to grab the bowl from your hands but you were too quick for him to even get near it. That didn't stop him from trying. Gar tried to out-wit you, but had only failed. "Give it back, I'm hungry."

"No," you affirmed. "The only way that you're getting this bowl is if you fight me, or if you tell me what the fuck is going on with you." Gar tilted his head down, he didn't like either of those options. However, he knew he'd rather get his ass kicked by you, then to ruin the friendship that he had.

When Garfield tilted his head back up, his eyes were green and his skin was tinged the same color too. He was willing to beast out if that meant that he didn't have to confess his feelings to you. His action hurt you more than you ever thought they could. Gar wasn't a violent person, and for him to do this, it really meant he didn't trust you.

Gar went back to his normal self when you didn't budge from your spot. He was even more surprised when he noticed how glassy your eyes looked and the tremble in your hands while holding his bowl. Gar didn't hesitate to throw his arms around you in hopes to comfort you from his actions.

"I'm sorry," He whispered. The grip he had on you caused your shirt to scrunch up in his hand. You set the bowl on the counter beside you and wrapped your arms around him as well.

"No," you shook your head at his apology. He had done nothing wrong, this was your fault. "If you don't want to talk about your feelings then I shouldn't force you to do so. Just... if I'm doing something wrong, or you're upset with me for something just tell me. I can't sleep at night thinking your avoiding me because you hate me now."

You gave Gar one more squeeze before walking away from him. It wasn't fair of you to try and force him to talk about something that he wasn't comfortable with. You should have known better. It was just always so easy to talk to him, you always thought that he felt the same ease with you.

Your breathing trembled as you walked down the empty hall to your room. Maybe the friendship you had with Gar wasn't what you thought it was.

A hand latching onto yours nearly made you jump. Gar had stopped you. He tugged you back towards him, and if it wasn't for his hold you would have fallen flat on the ground. Gar held you up against him with his hands resting on your waist. Your hands were delicately rested in his chest.

"(Y/N), I..." Gar stuttered over his words. He was hesitant to tell you his feelings, but he needed you to know that he didn't hate you, not at all. The closeness of you made him nervous, he could see every little detail of your face, each one of them perfect in their own ways. "I..." he tried once more.

You couldn't take this anymore. You couldn't take teetering around him and your feelings towards him. Endless flirting that he never seemed to pick up on or the fact that you got flustered every time you messed up and he was around. This battle you were having with yourself about whether or not Gar's feelings for you were more than friendly needed to end.

Your hands slid up his chest until they rested on the side of his face. The warmth of his skin drew you in more, like you craved his touch. Gar let out a gasp as you pressed your lips against his. He stood still, surprised by your actions. There was no way that the girl of his dreams was kissing him.

Gar snapped out of his shock. His grip lowered to your hips and he finally started to kiss you back. Everything about this was perfect. The taste of your lips, the softness of your skin. He was completely blinded by you and your perfection.

You pulled away, completely out of breath but a smile on your lips. The linger of his touch resided on you and you wished for it never to go away. "I'm sorry," You whispered. "I shouldn't have... I couldn't go any longer without doing that," you changed your sentence.

"I'm glad you did," Gar grinned. You loved his smile, you always had. It seemed to be the only thing that would make you happy when you were feeling down. "Truth be told, I was avoiding you because I didn't know how much longer I could go without doing that too."

Gar kissed you again. The softness of his lips made you want to have them constantly on you. You wanted his kiss, his hold, you wanted him to love you. The happiness that filled your heart something that you hadn't felt in so long. He was your happiness, he had been since the day  you met.

"Guess we better make up for lost time then."

Part two

[thewidowsghost]

The Unknown Muggleborn - Chapter 8

3rd Person POV

Later that night, (Y/n) crawls under her covers to go to sleep; Marvel lies her small head on (Y/n)'s chest.

"'Night, girl," (Y/n) murmurs, drowsily scratching behind the cat's ears.

. . .

A few hours later, Marvel lifts her head, nuzzling (Y/n)'s face to try to wake her up. She lets out a whimper, pawing (Y/n)'s face.

The girl was sweating and her neck was resting at an awkward angle. Her breath had quickened and her eyes were moving rapidly under her closed eyelids.

Marvel jumps off the bed and streaks into Hermione's room. Hermione had always been a light sleeper, so when the cat jumped onto her bed, she wakes.

Marvel meows, and Hermione's head tilts in concern.

"What's wrong, Marvel?" Hermione asks and the black-and-white feline paws at Hermione's hand and jumps off the bed, stopping at the door, then looking back at the brunette.

What a peculiar cat, Hermione thinks, throwing back the covers and following the cat across the hall to her sister's room.

Marvel streaks over and onto the bed, her green eyes wide as she tries to nudge her companion awake again.

Realization and fear dawn in Hermione's eyes and she walks across the room and switches on (Y/n)'s bedside slight before placing a hand on her sister's shoulder, shaking it roughly.

"Come on," Hermione murmurs. "You've got to wake up."

(Y/n)'s eyes flash open, and she sits up in her bed, her eyes closed, head leaning against the headboard, her hands trembling.

Hermione sits down on the edge of (Y/n)'s bed, and takes her sister's hands in her own.

(Y/n) looks up, her eyes wide with shock - and a bright silver.

Hermione looks at her sister and (Y/n) subconsciously moves over and Hermione slides under the covers, her back leaning against the other half of (Y/n)'s pillow.

(Y/n) leans against Hermione's shoulder; Hermione, used to these nightmares, remains silent.

After a few minutes, she reaches over and turns off the bedside light.

(Y/n) turns on her side, her head resting on the pillow, and Hermione does the same.

. . .

(Y/n) and Hermione don't talk about the nightmare the night before as the two go about the rest of the break leading up until Christmas.

After breakfast Christmas morning, (Y/n), Hermione, and their parents walk into the living room.

"You girls want to pass out gifts?" Mrs. Granger asks and (Y/n) and Hermione nod.

After passing out the gifts, (Y/n) settles back down at her place in front of the couch. (Y/n) pulls the wrapping paper off one from Fred, and sitting on top was a card. It said:

(Y/n), Somebody got this picture of your first Quidditch match, I thought you'd like it.

- Fred

Lifting up the card, (Y/n) smiles seeing a picture in a frame. It was a picture of Fred and George lifting her up onto their shoulders after her first Quidditch match.

(Y/n) sets the picture and card beside her before picking up a gift from Harry. She smiles when she sees a Advanced Charms book and a book on Magical Creatures.

(Y/n) looks over at Hermione as the brunette at her side opens her gift. (Y/n) had given her sister a copy of Hogwarts: A History.

"I have a copy already," Hermione says, turning to (Y/n).

"There's a charm on it," (Y/n) explains. "Whenever something important in Hogwarts' history, it get's copied down in here. Look," (Y/n) says, opening a page. It says, October 31, 1991 - Hermione Granger, (Y/n) (L/n), Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, defeated a mountain troll in a girls toilet.

Hermione stares down at the book and a smile slowly spreads across her face. "This is really cool! I love it! But that's not how that went," Hermione says.

"Ah, but it's better than what actually happened," (Y/n) argues. "That was not my best birthday."

(Y/n) grabs another gift, pulls the paper off, and finds a box of chocolate frogs from Harry, and she sets them aside, promising to have one later.

One of (Y/n)'s last gifts is a package wrapped in glossy blue paper with wolves printed on it.

(Y/n),

Happy Christmas! I'm very proud of what you have accomplished at Hogwarts in such a short amount of time.

-Love,

Uncle Remus

(Y/n) gazes down at the card, a small smile on her face. Then she sets the card at her side and looks at the contents of the box. Inside was a small stuffed wolf with a tag on it's ear that read - (Y/n)'s first stuffed animal, a gift from Uncle Remus. Under that was a new stack of photos that (Y/n) promises herself to look at later.

(Y/n) opens a package and finds a red sweater with a silver (First Initial) on it. Under the sweater was a large box of homemade fudge and a letter.

(Y/n), My sons Ron, Fred, and George have told me a lot about you. My husband, Arthur, and I wish to meet you soon. Happy Christmas! -Molly Weasley

Grinning, (Y/n) pulls the sweater over her head and the four finishing opening all their gifts, both (Y/n) and Hermione take all their things upstairs.

3rd Person POV - with Harry - A few hours earlier

On Christmas Eve, Harry goes to bed looking forward for the next day for the food and the fun, but not expecting any presents at all. When he wakes early in the morning, however, the first thing he sees is a small pile of packages at the foot of his bed.

"Merry Christmas," says Ron sleepily as Harry scrambles out of bed and pulls on his bathrobe.

"You, too," says Harry. "Will you look at this? I've got some presents!"

"What did you expect, turnips?" says Ron, turning to his own pile, which is a lot bigger than Harry's.

Harry picks up the top parcel. It is wrapped in thick brown paper and and scrawled across it was to Harry, from Hagrid. Inside is a roughly cut wooden flute. Hagrid had obviously whittled it himself; Harry blows it - it sounded a bit like an owl.

A second, very small parcel contains a note. We received your message and enclose your Christmas present. From Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. Taped to the note is a fifty-pence piece.

"That's friendly," says Harry.

Ron seems fascinated by the fifty pence, "Weird!" he exclaims. "What a shape! This is money!"

"You can keep it," says Harry, laughing at how pleased Ron is. "Hagrid and my aunt and uncle - so who sent these?"

"I think I know who that one's from," says Ron, turning a bit pink and pointing to a very lumpy parcel. "My mom. I told her you didn't expect any presents and - oh, no," he groans, "she's made you a Weasley sweater."

Harry had torn open the parcel to find a thick, hand-knitted sweater in emerald green and a large box of homemade fudge.

"Every year she makes us a sweater," says Ron, unwrapping his own, "and mine's always maroon."

"That's really nice of her," says Harry, trying the fudge, which was very tasty.

Harry's next present also contains candy - a large box of Chocolate Frogs from Hermione which Harry thought was kind of funny because he had gotten (Y/n) the same thing.

Harry's next parcel was from (Y/n). Opening it, he sees a small box. Feeling curious, Harry opens the box to see a couple of photos. One was of a raven haired man with amber eyes, Harry's father, and a red haired women with emerald green eyes, his mother. The two are standing with a (M/H/C) haired women, (Y/n)'s mum; all three were smiling.

Harry looks at another picture of two kids, probably about a year old. One was a boy with raven hair and emerald eyes, the other was a girl with (H/C) and green eyes - Harry himself and (Y/n).

Then, Harry sees a piece of paper sitting in the box.

Hey Harry,

I found these pictures in the box my godfather left me and I made a few copies. I figured you'd want them.

-Love,

(Y/n)

Harry smiles and picks up the final present. He picks it up and feels it. It's very light, he thinks, and he unwraps it.

Something fluid and silvery gray goes slithering to the floor where it lies in gleaming folds and Ron gasps.

"What is it?"

Harry picks up the shining, silvery cloth off the floor. It's strange to the touch, like water woven into material.

"It's an Invisibility Cloak," says Ron, a look of awe on his face. "I'm sure it is - try it on."

Harry throws the cloak around his shoulders and Ron gives a yell.

"It is! Look down!"

Harry looks down at his feet, but they are gone. He dashes to the mirror. Sure enough, his reflection looks back at him, just his head suspended in midair, his body completely invisible. He pulls the cloak over his head and his reflection vanishes completely.

"There's a note!" says Ron suddenly. "A note fell out of it!"

Harry pulls off the cloak ans seizes the letter. Written in narrow, loopy writing he had never seen before were the following words:

Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you.

Use it well

A very Merry Christmas to you

There is no signature; Harry stares at the note, while Ron is admiring the cloak.

"I'd give anything for one of these," Ron says. "Anything. What's the matter?"

"Nothing," says Harry. He fells very strange. Who had sent the cloak? Had it really once belonged to his father? he thinks.

Before he can say - or think - of anything else, but the dormitory door is flung open and Fred and George Weasley bounds in. Harry stuffs the cloak quickly out of sight. He doesn't fell like sharing it with anyone else yet.

"Merry Christmas!"

"Hey, look — Harry's got a Weasley sweater, too!"

Fred and George are wearing blue sweaters, one with a large yellow F on it,the other a G.

"Harry's is better than ours, though," says Fred, holding up Harry's sweater. "She obviously makes more of an effort if you're not family."

"Why aren't you wearing yours, Ron?" George demands. "Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm."

"I hate maroon," Ron moans halfheartedly as he pulls it over his head.

"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observes. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid — we know we're called Gred and Forge."

"What's all this noise?"

Percy Weasley sticks his head through the door, looking disapproving. He had clearly gotten halfway through unwrapping his presents as he, too, carries a lumpy sweater over his arm, which Fred seizes.

"P for prefect! Get it on, Percy, come on, we're all wearing ours, even Harry got one."

"I — don't — want —" says Percy thickly, as the twins force the sweater over his head, knocking his glasses askew.

"And you're not sitting with the prefects today, either," demands George."Christmas is a time for family."

They frog-march Percy from the room, his arms pinned to his side by his sweater.

Harry had never in all his life had such a Christmas dinner. A hundred fat, roast turkeys; mountains of roast and boiled potatoes; platters of chipolatas;tureens of buttered peas, silver boats of thick, rich gravy and cranberry sauce —and stacks of wizard crackers every few feet along the table. These fantastic party favors were nothing like the feeble Muggle ones the Dursleys usually bought, with their little plastic toys and their flimsy paper hats inside. Harry pulls a wizard cracker with Fred and it didn't just bang, it went off with a blast like a cannon and engulfed them all in a cloud of blue smoke, while from the inside exploded a rear admiral's hat and several live, white mice. Up at the High Table, Dumbledore had swapped his pointed wizard's hat for a flowered bonnet,and is chuckling merrily at a joke Professor Flitwick had just read him.

Flaming Christmas puddings follow the turkey. Percy nearly breaks his teeth on a silver Sickle embedded in his slice. Harry watches Hagrid getting redder and redder in the face as he calls for more wine, finally kissing Professor McGonagall on the cheek, who, to Harry's amazement, giggles and blushes, her top hat lopsided.

When Harry finally leaves the table, he is laden down with a stack of things out of the crackers, including a pack of non-explodable, luminous balloons, a Grow Your-Own-Warts kit, and his own new wizard chess set. The white mice had disappeared and Harry has a nasty feeling they were going to end up as Mrs.Norris's Christmas dinner.

Harry and the Weasleys spent a happy afternoon having a furious snowball fight on the grounds. Then, cold, wet, and gasping for breath, they return to the fire in the Gryffindor common room, where Harry breaks in his new chess set by losing spectacularly to Ron. Harry suspects he wouldn't have lost so badly if Percy hadn't tried to help him so much.

After a meal of turkey sandwiches, crumpets, trifle, and Christmas cake, everyone feels too full and sleepy to do much before bed except sit and watch Percy chase Fred and George all over Gryffindor Tower because they'd stolen his prefect badge.

It had been Harry's best Christmas day ever. Yet something had been nagging at the back of his mind all day. Not until he climbs into bed is he free to think about it: the Invisibility Cloak and whoever had sent it.

Harry leans over the side of his own bed and pulls the cloak out from under it. His father's ... this had been his father's. He lets the material flow over his hands, smoother than silk, light as air. Use it well, the note had said.He has to try it, now. He slips out of bed and wrapped the cloak around himself. Looking down at his legs, he sees only moonlight and shadows. It's a very funny feeling.Use it well.Suddenly, Harry feels wide-awake. The whole of Hogwarts is open to him in this cloak. Excitement floods through him as he stands there in the dark and silence. He can go anywhere in this, anywhere, and Filch would never know.

Ron grunts in his sleep. Should Harry wake him? Something holds him back— his father's cloak — he felt that this time — the first time — he wants to use it alone. Harry creeps out of the dormitory, down the stairs, across the common room, and climbs through the portrait hole.

"Who's there?" squawks the Fat Lady. Harry says nothing. He walks quickly down the corridor.

Harry, his heart racing, and thought. And then it came to him. The Restricted Section in the library. He'd be able to read as long as he liked, as long as it took to find out who Flamel was. He sets off, drawing the Invisibility Cloak tight around him as he walked.The library is pitch-black and very eerie. Harry lights a lamp to see his way along the rows of books. The lamp looks as if it was floating along in midair,and even though Harry can feel his arm supporting it, the sight gives him the creeps.

The Restricted Section is right at the back of the library. Stepping carefully over the rope that separates these books from the rest of the library, he held up his lamp to read the titles. They didn't tell him much. Their peeling, faded gold letters spelled words in languages Harry couldn't understand. Some had no title at all. One book has a dark stain on it that looked horribly like blood. The hairs on the back of Harry's neck prickled. Maybe he was imagining it, maybe not, but he thought a faint whispering was coming from the books, as though they knew someone was there who shouldn't be. Harry had to start somewhere. Setting the lamp down carefully on the floor, he looked along the bottom shelf for an interesting-looking book. A large black and silver volume caught his eye. He pulls it out with difficulty, because it was very heavy, and, balancing it on his knee, lets it fall open.

A piercing, bloodcurdling shriek splits the silence — the book is screaming! Harry snaps it shut, but the shriek goes on and on, one high, unbroken, earsplitting note. He stumbles backward and knocks over his lamp, which went out at once. Panicking, he heard footsteps coming down the corridor outside —stuffing the shrieking book back on the shelf, he runs for it. He passes Filch in the doorway; Filch's pale, wild eyes looked straight through him, and Harry slips under Filch's outstretched arm and streaks off up the corridor, the book's shrieks still ringing in his ears.

Harry comes to a sudden halt in front of a tall suit of armor. He has been so busy getting away from the library, he hadn't paid attention to where he was going.Perhaps because it's dark, he didn't recognize where he was at all. There is a suit of armor near the kitchens, he knew, but he must be five floors above there.

"You asked me to come directly to you, Professor, if anyone was wandering around at night, and somebody's been in the library — Restricted Section."

Harry feels the blood drain out of his face. Wherever he is, Filch must know a shortcut, because his soft, greasy voice is getting nearer, and to his horror, it's Snape who replies, "The Restricted Section? Well, they can't be far, we'll catch them."

Harry stands rooted to the spot as Filch and Snape come around the corner ahead. They can't see him, of course, but it is a narrow corridor and if they come much nearer, they'd knock into him - the cloak didn't stop him from being solid.

Harry backs away as quickly as he can. A door stands ajar to his left. It's my only hope, Harry thinks. He squeezes through it, holding his breath, trying to to move it, and to his relief, he manages to get inside the room without their noticing anything. They walk straight past, and Harry leans against the wall, breathing deeply, listening to their footsteps dying away. They had been close, very close, It is a few seconds before he notices anything about the room he his hidden in.

It looks like an unused classroom. The dark shapes of desks and chairs are piled against the walls, and there is an upturned wastepaper basket — but propped against the wall facing him was something that didn't look as if it belonged there, something that looked as if someone had just put it there to keep it out of the way.

It is a magnificent mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame,standing on two clawed feet. There is an inscription carved around the top: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.

His panic fading now that there is no sound of Filch and Snape, Harry moves nearer to the mirror, wanting to look at himself but see no reflection again; he steps in front of it.

He has to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He whirls around, his heart pounding far more furiously than when the book had screamed - for he had not seen only himself in the mirror, but a whole crowd of people standing right behind him.

But the room is empty. Breathing very fast, he turns slowly back to the mirror.

There he is, reflected in it, white ans scared-looking, and there, reflected behind him, are at least ten others. Harry looks over his shoulder - but still, no one is there. Or are they invisible, too? Is his, in fact, in a room full of invisible people and this mirrors trick is that it reflects them, invisible or not?

Harry looks in the mirror again. A woman is standing right behind his reflection is smiling at him and waving. He reaches out a hand and feels the air behind him. If she is really there, he would touch her, their reflections are so close together, but he only feels air - she and the others exist only in the mirror.

She is a very pretty woman. Dark red hair and her eyes, emerald green eyes. Harry edges closer to the to the glass. Bright green - exactly the same shape as Harry's, but then he notices that she is crying; smiling, but crying at the same time. The tall, thin, black-haired man standing next to her put his arm around her. He wears glasses and his hair is very untidy. It sticks up at the back, just as Harry's does.

Harry is so close to the mirror that his nose is nearly touching that of his reflection.

"Mom?" he whispers. "Dad?"

They just look at him, smiling. And slowly, Harry looks into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and sees other pairs of green eyes like his, other noses like his, even a little old man, who looks as though he as Harry's knobbly knees - he is looking at his entire family for the first time in his life.

The Potters smile and wave at Harry and he stares hungrily hack at them, his hands pressed flat against the glass as though he is hopping to fall right through it and reach them. He has a powerful kind of ache inside him, half joy, half terrible sadness.

How long he stands there, he doesn't know. The reflections do not fade and he looks and looks until a distant noise brings him back to his senses. He can't stay here, he has to find a way back to his bed. He tears his eyes away from his mother's face, whispers, "I'll come back," and hurries from the room.

Harry does for the next two nights and Dumbledore had found Harry the last night. Dumbledore had told Harry the purpose of the mirror, to show the deepest desire of their hearts.

Dumbledore had convinced Harry not to go looking for the Mirror of Erised again, and for the rest of the Christmas holidays the Invisibility Cloak stays folded at the bottom of his trunk. Harry wishes he could forget what he'd seen in the mirror as easily, but he can't He starts having nightmares. Over and over a again he dreams of his parents disappearing in a flash of green light, while a high voice crackles with laughter. What Harry didn't know, was that (Y/n) was having the same dreams. Repetition from the one on Christmas Eve night.

"You see, Dumbledore was right, that mirror could drive you mad," says Ron, when Harry tells them about these dreams.

Word Count: 3759 words

[chanelhamitlon]

but its always been you|| Thomas Jefferson x Reader

word count: 1550

warnings: cusing, lack of proofreading, mentions of death

A/N: my first Thomas fic🙈 (Modern AU like most of them) Idk how collage works pls 😭

Inspiration: Youuu - COIN (its really good omg)

QUICK NOTE: the cuts are usually to switch between y/n and thomas

tell me if you wanna be in my permanent tag list :))

Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders.

"Jefferson,Thomas". He walked up the stage to receive his much deserved diploma. Four years of extensive studying just for this moment. He looked at the crowd and as if the world suddenly stopped. He focused on this one person. She had a camera up to her face, her hair glistening in the daylight. He looked like her as if he had seen a ghost. He snapped out of it as she lowered her camera. His girlfriend, of course. She smiled at him as the announcer calls on the next graduate. He walked down and towards her. Now that he thinks about it, he'd gaze out to her like this multiple times now, but he feels this is not because of her herself. He saw someone else in her. A high school sweetheart perhaps. He might've seen the gold flakes in her e/c colored eyes as he did with Y/n. He was sure he had long forgotten about her. She was special, sure but as high school sweethearts go, they stay in high school. He was convinced the countless exes he'd have were all to drown out her calling out for him once more. Just one more time at least. He'd like to think that moving to the other side of the world also helped with the cause. That was his number one priority; to forget about the one year they spent together.

You always thought that it wasn't anyone's fault that you and Thomas broke up. It was just not in anyones best interest to keep it going after high school and if the feelings last, he'd always say that he will find you. You lost faith that he'd come back of course. Whatever goes on in high school, stays in high school. You would go on several dates with people in college but you would always find yourself comparing them to Thomas. You focused on your studies, everyone telling you that you were smart; 'If only they knew how much I know about the things that really matter'.

You look at the clock '12:34 am'. Graduation was tomorrow or later. You were trying to fall asleep, and quickly at that, but you can't refrain from overthinking. Every scenario running through your head in a fast pace. Every outcome possible, you could have saved that relationship. Were you thinking of going back to New York to find him? It was nice as it is in California. You had your essentials, a good connection to your family online, but it was never really enough. You needed him.

The day came through fast paced. You would think that one of the most important milestones in live would be savored by time, running slowly. It was the opposite, time was never forgiving of you, years came by in a glimpse. You still felt like a kid, just not now. Graduation had such a surreal feeling to it, no one was never obliged to finish school of course, but you would think that something this sentimental would finally saturate the world with colors.

At the bus ride to downtown San Fransisco, your mind drifted off with ease. The music flowing to your ears made you feel like you were in a music video, those artsy kinds who would always try to incorporate daily life then proceed with a shot of a glamorous mansion. A song comes on, one of your favorites actually, Youuu by COIN.

' She moves just like you

She tastes like you

But its always been youuu...'

They say that music with certain themes will always trigger memories, flowing back to your brain. Even the ones you could have sworn you have forgotten. Thomas springs in to mind. He was a player in high school, of course he would have found someone new by now. That year was still pretty vivid to you though. All the sneaking around, all your firsts, the mini get togethers turned dates. You remember everything.

"Hey do you want to go out on Saturday?"Thomas' voice echoes through the walls of the almost room. He was staying with his girlfriend for the meantime since her parents were to insist on them 'not spending money on property' yet. Although Thomas was to never have a problem with money, his family was filthy rich at that. He was still deciding whether to stay here, with his girlfriend, in the suburbs, content with a stable income job; or to his family in New York City, a corporate job, and maybe even to you.

"What's the occasion?" Her voice sweetly said. Running her hands through his curls. "I wanna see you dance again." He said with a light chuckle. She laughed, "Come on... I don't dance THAT bad". He enjoyed moments like this. He truly did. The light touching and cuddling, just enjoying each others presence. He knew that she was human and he was truly sorry. He was sorry that she was being played like a pawn in the game of life. He was sorry that this was temporary. He was sorry that he was looking for someone. And he is sorry that that sorry that that someone wasn't her. They both noticed that the vinyl record had stopped playing. She stood up and changed the track record. Thomas sat up and looked at her. Her back was faced towards him. 'Even her silhouette reminds him of you' . The decision is clear then.

You started working a minimum wage job to pay the bills. You live in an apartment, sharing a space with your roommate, Reese. She was kind enough as it is, you both treated each other like family. She got you through when you were looking for a job. Now paying her back, you got her a little cake to celebrate her birthday. Going home from the cake shop, you stopped your tracks to see a rather tall man in the street, he was talking to someone on his phone. 'It couldn't possibly be him'. You wanted to think rationally at that moment, but you were overtaken by your emotions. You lightly tapped his shoulder. He turned around to reveal a completely different person. You quickly apologized to the person. You weren't lying to yourself at this point, you were pretty devastated that it wasn't him.

Unlocking your apartment door, you heard mild sobs in the far left to you. That was your roommate's room. You closed the door and headed straight to her door. Knocking three times, you opened the door to a disheveled Reese, frantically grabbing tissues.

"What happened?" You were still going to approach her, mildly forcing her into toxic positivity. You were ready to listen to her. "I'm moving out." In your role as her roommate, this was the only thing that should concern you, but you were close and so you thought that something had happened at home. "My dad died. I'll move home and live there from now on." You understand completely that that was what she needed to do. You offer to help her on countless things of course. That night was one of the gloomiest in the apartment. You slowly watched her pack away most of her stuff, sulking away most days, above all that, conversation halted and was now a thing of the past.

"Have you made your decision yet?" Trying to make conversation at dinner, Thomas' girlfriend asked him to whether they would actually last or not. Long distance never really works for anyone, might as well rip the band-aid off now. Thomas looked like he was burried in a million thoughts, he looked at her apathetically, without an answer. They ate away the evening, they were the opposite of this lively restaurant. She looked at him, wanting to ask him more; what's are you thinking is at risk? what's weighing your shoulders down? is there 'a someone'?

Just as Thomas was to suggest leaving the restaurant and just saying sorry for the melancholy he brought to the evening, she stood up and suggested a dance. 'That's what they came for anyway.' He gladly accepted and took the lead, whisking her away to the dance floor. There were about 3 other couples around them, lost in their own world. He wants to think rationally, he doesn't want to loose his mind and let his emotions seep through his walls. They were slow dancing now. 'She really feels like y/n'.

"Who's y/n and why do I feel like her?"

Thomas froze. He accidentally said it out loud. There's no stoping it now, just tell her the truth; rip the band aid off.

"She's a girl I used to date in high sc-"

"Every relationship in high school stays in high school Thomas. grow up"

Thomas didn't know what to say.He didn't know why that sentiment ticked him off that way. He didn't know why his body was suddenly in flames. He didn't know what to say so all he did was run; run far away. She didn't understand. If you would've explained where you came from she would. No, she wouldn't.

Just before they reach the car she caught up to him. He turned around looking so distraught.

"Ive made up my mind."

part 2 👀?