#doesn't help that i Know shell handle it because. she cant not without getting Way Too Stressed Out

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

crippling anxiety hours let's go

[puzzlepiece2001]

Being a wife to an inmate, society’s “hated “

Being the wife of someone who the "normal" people hate would seem worse than it is to a lot of people that follow the society's view of how people should live. Especially when your husband was the top story on every news station from here to England. No, we don't get comments and hate mail but I do get to be told “he's using you,'' “ I cant believe your still staying with him”, “ your relationship is a joke”, I've heard it all. From every end of the rude scale from “ uh did you just say what I think you said?” All the way to “ what did u just say? I’ll knock your teeth out!” You’d be surprised with how mean people can be and it’s very sad that it’s not uncommon to be treated that way. Anyways.

All they know is what they twisted to make sound better of the news channels. They don’t know that there were good reasons and good intentions behind what lies they were hearing on tv. Even now almost two years later no one knows that he's really changed Alot since he was arrested. He just doesn't talk to know one anymore. But I saw him when he thought he lost me, I saw him when he had to face his actions and think about someone other than himself and how those actions affected them.. I saw everything. Every breakthrough, realization, smack to the face, every lesson he had to learn.I worried for 10days till I got to hear his voice and know he was ok.. 10 days all I knew was that he was in jail. All I knew was the lies they were feeding the world on the news .. "he was tased two times and swallowed a golf ball size baggie.” The lawyer called me and told me he was incoherent and couldn't lift his head!

This was the 4th time he had been on the news and the worst reputation it gave him. You must be wondering what in the world happened by now. Well July 25th 2018 me, him, and Sarah Wilson were couch hopping and living out of a car. I went to work and that afternoon no one showed up to get me. That day they got pulled on the way to pick me up and he started resisting. Why there were 5 cops in normal clothes on him off the bat I will never know. But Sarah never made it out of that stop alive. They claimed she got a 410 judge with bird shots loaded into it and put it in her mouth and pulled the trigger. While handcuffed behind her back.. she was 19 years old..

I can't tell you how many fights I got into with people defending him.. I have done it every time I had to since I was 14 and I will continue to defend him until I take my last breath.

Now you get it dont you. You may even remember the story on tv. It was world wide.

Since the day we got back tougher..September 20th 2017 till today Jan 10, 2020 he has home 4 months and 2 of those months he was off in a bipolar mental break doing God knows what. Deep down he had a plan and he knew what he was doing.

He had this plan to make a lot of cash fast to get us a home and out of my mom's house. It's just didn't work. So here I am. Being a prison wife sucks. Being in love with the one inmate whose prescribed the highest dose of many different meds they can legally give someone is harder. It's more than loving him I don't know how in the hell I got lucky enough to meet the one person in this Galaxy that was made to complete me.. but I did.. and I got to meet him when I was 12. It's so much more than first love, soulmates whatever you can try to label it.. It's so much more than soulmates in fact.

But even tho he's my person and I'm his.. that don't change the fact that prison wife life isn't fun, it's lonely , depressing, frustrating, expensive, I get to look forward to visits on a TV screen or my phone screen , and 1-3 10 min phone calls a day. I have to deal with his attitude because he's not home and mad at himself for it and take it out on me, I have to deal with the opinions on life money and how to handle things without any help on the out comes of those opinions and when their are not followed I have to deal with the fighting.I got to handle the missed holidays and birthdays that he's all in his feelings about not being home for. I have the court dates to stress about and if more time is added and how much.. it's all me. I hustle phone money . I hustle up every penny for my phone. He's hardly gotten any cantine this time cause I don't have a job. So the theory of him using me don't make sense.

Being a prison wife is total bullshit. You basically become this emotionless heartless empty shell. But during those phone calls and visit I feel alive again. Possibly even more than I did before. when he's home.... ITS MY BLISS. I could be in a cardboard box and be perfectly happy as long as he's by my side. If you ever hear us talk when the phone connects you'll heard us say Carbon atom it holds a special meaning to us. Everything in the world has at least one carbon atom in it .. so by saying carbon atom it means we are saying we love each other more than anything even the atom that is in everything. No one gets it and I don't care but he's my person and I can't give up on him he couldn't give up on me either. He's my everything. He's my other half.

We had our last and finally court date a few days ago. Between 2 city’s one causing the other to come after is in the first place. He got 5 years for Chesapeake 2 more left to go for them. And Va beach gave us a blessing, with 19 years over his head already form old charges we walked in there and fought told our side and with 4 probation violations and 2 felony drug charges and is severely bad record.. they gave him 2 years to starve AND RAN CONCURRENT. That’s a record for us they never do that and we left there with the judge and prosecutor in tears giving him words of encouragement and telling him that they don’t think that he’s a throw away case that he can make something out of what we have been thru. And we will. My baby will be home in 2 years and 4 months.