#doesn’t help that the other person i’m with on a sunday is my shitty supervisor who leaves the place in a shit pit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

levyfiles · 5 years

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27 for the end of year asks?

#27. Have you done anything that scared you?

Ooof Ok. A little backstory then. Warning: this is a long little personal irl tale and hopefully interesting enough to be worth sharing so I’ll put it under a cut.

Before I got my promotion in January, I had spent all of last year already doing the work for less of the pay because my manager trained me to do all the paperwork and accounting for her on Wednesday so she could focus on other stuff. I was fully trained to run the accounting on the full slot count every day but there were no shifts available for me to be supervisor because a guy (let’s call him R) who had worked there much longer than I had taken on more shifts earlier last year. I was patient and worked full time, I even covered for anyone who was sick, did my time until said guy moved on to another department.

Suddenly the shifts opened up and unfortunately at the same time, another guy (we’ll call him B) who had the Saturday supervising shift took some time off because of an injury and of course, like I said in an earlier ask, a really shitty worker quit. I was, from the end of February and all of March and April, running the department from Thursday to Sunday with 3 brand new workers who I had to train at the same time as do the job I had to. It was hard, the hours were longer, and there were times I really felt so drained I thought I’d never get my regular life back.

B quit permanently because he couldn’t do the more physical aspects of our work which involve hauling 1 tonne iron carts full of over 500 slot machine casettes full of money across the casino and then opening said casettes one by one to count and sort the cash. The job involves a lot of repetitive hand-intensive tasks and for all the math and stacks of cash and electrical sorters, the hardest part of the job is getting the money off the floor at hours between 2am - 4am or at earliest 6am. It takes a toll on people and the body. I’m lucky enough that I’ve always been nocturnal so the hours are me at my sharpest and strongest.

At some juncture in May, R who had gone to tables to be a dealer wanted to come back. The hours were shit and guests who play poker are too often assholes to the card dealers. I learned the news second hand from a guest service manager that my manager had already agreed to reschedule him to come back.immediately. I confronted R who had neither told me he was leaving to begin with and didn’t tell me he had plans to come back. He told me everything I heard was true and worse. I was terrified because a) what I had had to go through to train the new crew b) the large amount of time I’d spent waiting for this promotion.

It hurt all the more because R happens to be one of my really good friends. I called my manager that morning to ask her about it. I’ll always think about that phone call and what it taught me about how people are in positions of authority even when they tell you ‘you can talk to me about anything’. Her first reaction was to act like she didn’t know what I was talking about and she flip-switched the moment I told her who told me about it. That I had asked R personally and he told me his return date, that he’d been guaranteed by higher management that he could come back and that everything would be the same; that his stint on the dealing tables was just a trial to see if he would like it given that the dealing department was short (for obvious reasons). She sighed and switched up her tack, suddenly it was “no one was supposed to know” and other crap. Finally I was able to work up the nerve to ask her, “After all we’ve been through, me and the new crew; am I going to lose my position so R can come back and have his old one?” She seemed surprised by the question and the entire conversation in general, but she guaranteed that there was a miscommunication; that R’s return would only impact the new girls. My position was safe.

This bothered me. It bothered me because my manager, before news of R’s coming back had dropped, had started training one of these new girls (let’s call her S) to cover my position if I was ever sick or injured (very normal thing to do) so now there would be 3 people on the crew who could do the job I was doing. Before R wanted back in, I was relieved that maybe S would get a supervising shift so I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed.

Now this is where it gets complicated. The schedule was all over the place. S was now fully trained to cover for anyone who didn’t show, got sick, or injured is great at her job; we all love her. She fits right in. and is always willing to cover shifts and has since become my movie-night buddy. A week after she was trained, my manager sends me an email saying that we’ve got the new crew cemented, she’s got the new schedule all worked out. She keeps me on Thursdays and Fridays, gives R Saturdays, and then S takes Sunday because, according to my manager “Everyone who’s trained to supervise and do the accounting needs to have a regular shift. It’s only fair.”

So just a reminder, the whole of last year I was put on call, working under two adolescent dudes who I had to push myself to my physical limit to be as good as all while waiting and wondering if a shift would ever open up; if I’d ever be able to actually get paid for the job I was already doing for my manager on Wednesdays. That whole time it had never seemed to occur to her to give me one of R or B’s shifts, but now suddenly she has someone new on that’s not me, it’s all about being fair and delegating out shifts fairly. I was really hurt. It was that all my hard work this past two years would mean nothing and to speak up would mean I’d be ruining S’s chance, have her waiting as long as I did or maybe longer to earn a shift. Usual me would do nothing, just take what I had got and never really speak about how mad and hurt I was about being passed over for a year and only given a promotion when my manager had lost two of her staff. I was mad that a guy could leap between departments and still be guaranteed everything and It made me concerned that if I hadn’t called her that morning, would she have bothered to preserve my position. Would it have been a no communication, silent demotion where I check the schedule and everything’s back to what it was last year. It’s hard watching that happen, hard not to think when you’re the one mixed-race black girl in a small predominately white run casino that being treated like crap feels equated to something a little more deep-seated than just coincidence or circumstance.

First I talked to S. I just asked her how she felt about the job, about the trial by fire she went through in her first months working with us and she had been hinting a lot lately about how she felt a little bit of resentment for R because with his return, she was worried her and I wouldn’t be as close. That was a whole other thing we would later need to work out. The conclusion we got to was she didn’t want a supervising shift because she was working part time in maintenance outdoors and she liked it that way. I on the other hand, only have the department we were in.

I made the decision not to be usual me. It was mid-June and I invited my manager out for breakfast after work one day and I sat with her over eggs at Denny’s and I told her how the past year had felt, how it had looked when she made the decision to cut my shifts in the fashion of fairness when I had waiting a year and some months since being trained to get a chance at a regular supervising shift, that when i finally did get the promotion, it was like being abandoned because it was only after R and B were gone. I was terrified the whole time I gave my little speech because I didn’t want to appear angry or overly emotional in any capacity because if she was doing this on purpose, my reaction could easily be taken as aggressive and then I would definitely lose it all.

I was surprised. She apologised to me, said that the thought had never occurred to her that I had been waiting, that she wished I had said something before. Feels strange now. She could easily have been lying to me, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. Now R, S, and I work together and we have a lot of fun at work and we help one another. I still keep all my supervising shifts and R (who turns out is a part time streamer on Twitch) wanted more time off anyway so there’s been no bad blood at all. Weirdly enough, in August, we all went to R’s wedding and celebrated with him until they packed up the venue, and just yesterday, we had a dinner together with R and his wife, S, me and another one of our coworkers. We feel like family most days and that is worth the terror and the fear I had going into the job to start with and speaking up for myself. Sometimes shit like that works out and I don’t think I’m going to be too meek or afraid to take a leap like that where my job’s concerned anymore.

(bravo if you made it to the end of this weird little story

#personal #ask game #sequencefairy

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part2of3 · 7 years

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apparently sunday has become the day designated for my sister to come over here. bringing her kids and all of her drama. and by drama i mean shit like the fact that her husband is currently being investigated for pouring gasolkine on someone’s front door and lighting it on fire in the middle of the night. if they didn’t have smoke detectors that woke them up, the fire could’ve taken the whole house, they could’ve died. and she’s laughing about this mess.

so sundays have become the day designated for me to not be here and avoid her as much as possible. past few weeks i’ve been going to the movies. see something around 1030am / 11am, and be out in time to get to work at 2pm. it’s cool. i love going to the movies anyway.

but there ain’t shit i wanna see today. not sure how i’m gonna kill the time. maybe sit in a library with my tablet and play Kotor.

my parents kept trying to convince my sister to leave the guy. for the longest time they couldn’t see that she was the problem. that he is just a symptom of her problems. she tried to run the last guy over with her car. if she left this guy she would go out and find someone else just like him.

my mom always felt bad for my sisters kids. always told my sister that if she left the guy she could move back home. which would be a huge fucking mistake for so many different reasons. and she refuses to leave the guy. but i can picture how this is all could go down now. the guy would be arrested for arsen. maybe they’ll even claim attempted murder. and they won’t let him off easy. he already has a record. he’s a convicted pedophile. yea. my sister knew this about him when she married him. she married a pedophile. he’ll get arrested and she’ll end up homeless. she kind of is already. they’ve spent the past few months living in those shitty pay by the week hotel/motels.

my mom would feel bad and let my sister move back here. even knowing how abusive and disrespectful my sister is towards her. it’s family. it’s her daughter. it’s for the sake of her grandkids. of course she’ll give in and let my sister move back in.

and when that happens. i’m fucking gone. the only reason i’m still living with my parents at 34yrs old is to help them out. after my dad heart attack he couldn’t work anymore. money’s been tight. then problem after problem. living in america is nothing but piling up debt. then last year my mom had an accident at work, so it’s been a year full of taking care of her. but if they willingly let my sisters wreckless drama back into their home, then i can’t help anymore. even if i wanted to. it’ll all be too much. there’s nothing i could do.

so i’ll be fucking gone. and a part of me hopes that it does happen. i feel like taking care of my family for so long has been holding me back from living my own life. or maybe i’ve been using them as an excuse because some part of me doesn’t want the responsibility of doing more. but regardless. if i leave here there won’t be any excuses anymore. and i can’t just leave whenever i want. it’s family. they didn’t ask for the medical problems and the financial debt. they couldn’t help it. and it would be selfish of me to just leave them while they’re struggling. but the way i see it, if they bring my sister back here, that would be a choice. and if they’re choosing to go deeper down that hole, then i feel like that makes me justified to leave and feel guilt free about it.

but i’ve go nowhere to go. i don’t have money saved up. any spare penny i have has gone towards the mortgage or other bills. my supervisor just bought a big house with plenty of room, maybe i can convince him to let me rent out a room. maybe i can find someone here on tumblr who’d be willing to take me in. if i’m done with my family, then there’s no reason to stay here. i can leave the state. the only person i can think of who would be willing to take me in without question is someone who’s in their own awkward living situation and just doesn’t have the means to help.

i dunno. i’ll figure something out. if it happens like this.

but it’s so hard to plan for the future because i have this constant voice in my head saying nothing really matters anyway because trumps gonna get us all killed any day now.

#me #personal #family

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fuck-customers · 7 years

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Venting about crappy co-workers - A

Heyo! Friendly sarcastic librarian here (again!). I apologize but this is probably gonna be really long but I can't take it anymore.

I think I'll end up doing one submission per shitty coworker so I don't leave a 20 mile long post... TL;DR at the end.

Crappy Coworker A:

A is an older woman who I honestly do feel bad about getting irritated with so often, but she's one that will full-on take advantage of age/disability/etc. and wear it like a badge for the sake of getting her own way. She calls off at least once a week (which makes it super inconvenient for the rest of us. She mostly calls off on Mondays because "too much work piles up from Sunday..."), as well as when it's raining. She's got health problems and is on medication (that dopes her up to the point where I'm really not sure we should have her working?), which prompted our boss to offer to let her go from 5 days a week to 4, that way it's less work for her and scheduling and delegating tasks is easier on the rest of us. Each time, she refused because "Then I can't pick what day I need off and that really isn't fair." Like, okay, totally fair for the majority of the department who has to scramble to pick up the slack you leave behind because you prefer calling off at the literal last minute?

Then there's the fact that she gets so defensive over HER jobs. It takes her a really long time to do anything (Again, I feel awful about getting irritated because she is older and on meds, but there's a limit to what our department can take.). As in, processing books to be sent to other libraries (literally scan the book to put it in transit. Write other library's name on paper. Stick paper in book. Put rubber band around book so paper doesn't come out. Put on cart.) takes her, on average, 2 minutes per book. If one of us finishes all of our tasks, we're not allowed to do anything else because she will flip out on us for taking HER jobs.

I only started doing the transfers and Interlibrary Loans recently (Maybe late March? I don't remember.). I pick things up relatively quickly, I always have. One day, she actually asked for help because there were a TON of books that came through on our transfer van and she was really overwhelmed. I said "sure no problem" and started the process I mentioned above. I finished the half of the books I took before she even got halfway through her pile and she actually got angry at me because "how come you're better at this than me? I've been doing it longer." and wouldn't let me help any more. She hasn't asked for my assistance with anything since, unless there's literally no one else around.

Along with all of that, she's just utterly ridiculous with many things. My supervisors, as well as the Big Boss, are all aware of it, but there's nothing we can do because she's one who would accuse us of discriminating against her due to age and mental conditions. So we just have to hope that she retires (or dies), I suppose...

- Complains when SHE uses all of her sick, vacation, personal, and floating holiday days and doesn't get paid when calling off anymore. Claims it's not fair and tries to whine to people to give her THEIR days off. As soon as it's refilled, she uses it all and then makes it everyone else's problem.

- Gets around working as much as possible. We get one hour for lunch (unpaid) and two fifteen minute breaks (paid) per day. She'll eat her lunch. Then sleep in the break room for well over an hour. No one wakes her up because she'll flip out. Also yells at people for talking at a normal indoor volume, or if people turn the TV on (it's never really that loud anyway). On top of this, she also naps at her desk throughout the day.

- She normally doesn't work on Saturdays. Something came up and my boss asked if she would mind working one Saturday and she yelled and said that my boss had "no right" to ask her that.

- She generally doesn't think about anyone else. She's shorted out the break room's electricity multiple times because we have one outlet that has the microwave, Keurig, and toaster oven plugged into it. You can only use one at a time. People have had their lunches cooking and she just goes to make coffee and then the whole thing just stops. And then she gets mad because "I shouldn't have to wait for coffee!"

Again, I really do feel bad for getting annoyed with her because she is older and does have health problems. You really can't help those. But there are many instances where we can TELL that she's taking advantage of it and there's nothing we can do about it. I've worked with people who have had a variety of issues in other jobs and 9 times out of 10, they were trying to work around it and not using it as an excuse to slack off.

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tl;dr

One of my coworkers is using her age and health issues to take advantage of things in order to be lazy and to try and get extra sick/vacation/personal/etc. days.

She also gets angry when we try to pick up the slack she leaves behind.

Then she refuses to go from 5 days a week to 4 because she feels she should be allowed to choose what day(s) she wants off the morning of and screws us over many times by calling off at least once a week.

Ugh. Sorry, I just needed to vent because I can't vent to anyone here and it's driving me up a wall because she called off today and there's SO MUCH OVERFLOW.

#fuck co-workers #fuck coworkers #submission

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spookybluebirdcupcake · 6 years

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So I’m having a really shitty weekend for my mental health and I need to have a rant about it:

First of all I’ve hit that point where I’m about 90% ready to self harm and that 10% is still fighting but I’m running out of alternative ideas to helping calm me down 😴

My parents have been on holiday since last Saturday and only just got back last night so I’ve been up at 6am every morning to feed the cat who will literally not stop screaming even once she’s been fed! I’ve had to live alone with said cat whilst still having to look after my horse, do housework, cook dinner etc. And work a 25 hour week. My autism has been playing up and on at least one of my shifts I was working with someone being rude to me (as she always is) and I had to stand taking tickets for about 6 hours out of a 7.5 hour shift (45 mins of that shift was also my breaks) which did my back in again + not great for my mental health as it’s a very boring, very draining job.

I also had a 4DX shift last night in which I had to sit through a horror film (which I hate and I had such bad anxiety) I did get earplugs but they only dulled the noise and although I didn’t jump at any of the jump scares (which was a miracle in itself) I was still anxious the whole way through it. And whilst having a headache on that shift I kept getting sent to a department dealing with customers that I struggled with so bad.

Also the last 2 days one of the supervisors has been a bit of a prat and been very difficult to deal with which definitely doesn’t help the bad mood!

Then today I got a bit better sleep but still had to be up early and see to the horse and work another 7.5 hour shift, and I’d already had my yard manager post a passive aggressive post on our yard’s Facebook that was clearly aimed at me, bringing up something else from a couple weeks ago that she’d already asked me to do which I did right away as soon as I’d realised I’d forgotten... so already feeling a bit picked on, lacking sleep, and being made to do things I wasn’t entirely happy with but did them anyway...

I was on a floor shift today when half way through rude girl tells me I’m swapping onto snacks, which I checked with the supervisor because I wasn’t happy with the way she spoke to me. Then I ended up on snacks with a headache so avoided serving customers as much as I could, told everyone I had a headache so that’s why I was avoiding it, and got through most of the shift okay (rude girl came and went a lot and never once thanked me for holding doors open or anything else I did for her which was a bit annoying) then as I was 7 minutes away from finishing I locked my till and said I wasn’t serving any more customers was there any other jobs to do. 4 minutes left of my shift and I was left alone at the front of snacks so had to serve customers then as I was grabbing some nachos for them I happened to say to another girl on the other side of the counter “can you come back here and hop on a till ‘cause I finish in 3 minutes” to which she snapped at me “no I’m busy” then I was gonna leave it and go behind snacks to get someone else when she piped up (it was her tone that really got me) “if you’d said “(her name) can you please come back here so I can finish” I would have done it” and I said to her there was no need to be bitchy, then she went on by which point I wasn’t listening because I was so annoyed by her being rude (like I said it was the tone of voice that was the part that I was mad at) and all I heard was her say something about not letting her kids talk to her like that (still in a horrible tone) and I said something along the lines of “will you stop being so fucking rude to me” at which point another guy came through and got the shock of his life by my swearing, took over serving for me so I could go, then I went to the back of snacks to have a breather. Went to clock out and ended up telling the manager what happened and apologised for swearing in front of customers and said to him I knew I probably shouldn’t have snapped but was annoyed by how she spoke to me (which he understood/kinda agreed with). Then on the way out the guy on snacks shouted me over told me “you can’t swear in front of customers” and I had to say “I know” about 10 times because he wasn’t listening and then he eventually said “well clearly you don’t because you just did it” and then told me to control my emotions as if I hadn’t had a week of dealing with rude girl on most of my shifts as well as other rude people and had been holding everything in all fucking week. Then I told him I’d spoken to the manager and he still went on and on and rude girl was also there and said (in a really nasty tone) “I think you should just go home” like I wasn’t only there because they’d shouted me over and would have quite happily gone home. So I said that’s what I was doing and left, then struggled the whole way home not to cry, had a rant at my mum about it...

And the main reason my depression has been playing up recently already was that I feel a lot like an outsider, like I have no real friends and everyone at work just tolerates me, and I know they’re gonna have been bitching about me after I left and I feel like those people are gonna be extra awkward/rude to me at least for the next wee while... I have a supervisor’s leaving night on Sunday next week that I wasn’t sure about going to but now especially feel like I’m gonna be unwanted there by a lot of people, + I don’t know if those guys are gonna bitch to anyone else about me tonight and I just feel so ficking shitty like, if the girl had even just said “sorry I’m busy ask someone else” then come to me later and asked me to say please next time or something, and there wasn’t any need for the other 2 to shout me over and have a go at me afterwards especially after I told them I spoke to the manager... it’s all just unnecessary and I’m so sick of working with people who are rude to me constantly without any reason, and I’m sick of that girl having a chip on her bloody shoulder that everything is personal against her.

People just need to fuck off and I’m so angry and upset I don’t know how to deal with it 😴😡

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justjoeyyy-blog-blog · 7 years

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Day 30-35

6-13-17 Day 30: I was told that I wasn't approved to leave a week before my sign off date for my cousins wedding and papas birthday. My mom already bought my plane ticket and everything. My mom emailed the lady who denied the request so hopefully something can be changed. We're technically over staffed so there's no reason for it to not get approved. I would only be leaving a week early, that's it. I also went to st Nicholas (the resort) and laid out. It was so relaxing. And it feels good to wake up and not sleep all day. After work me and Rain went to the crew mess to see what food they had. We started walking and saw something weird from the side door. So we kept walking and sitting there was an entire pig completely cooked and cut open. It was terrifying. And it was stuffed with all of this weird stuff. I completely lost my appetite. Tomorrow is day at sea so it's gonna be a long day. And of course I'm still awake at 3am. It's hard when I don't get off until 1ish and I'm wide awake. 6-14-17 Day 31: sea days fucking suck. I started at the slide. We have 3 with only a worker at 2 of them. Some random worker comes up to me and just hands me a walkie talkie and then walks away. Doesn't say a word. I was switching through all of the channels until I finally heard a police signal. They were looking for a red mustang and were saying all of these codes. I was so confused. Finally I found a worker and asked him which station I should be on. I then had a parent come up to me complaining about how there wasn't an attendant on the little slide. He said there were tons of kids getting hurts as well as one of his. He was not happy and was putting it out on me. I apologized and said I would let someone know. And at this time I didn't know which channel we were supposed to use for the walkie talkie. The communication here is terrible. And the language barrier obviously doesn't help. Some girl came up to me and said you're the first American worker I've met! Which is true. We have a steward that comes and makes our beds everyday and changes the towels. For the past 4 days he's come in and made my bed as well as given us fresh towels but has not touched rains bed. We never see our steward so we haven't been able to ask him. It's so confusing yet so humorous at the same time. Our room looks so nice and then rains bed is all over the place because he hasn't touched it! We have this thing where guests can submit feedback and if they mention our name we get a shout out. If we get 10 shout outs we get a day off. I got 2 last week and 1 this week. It seriously feels so good that I was the reason someone had an amazing vacation. And that these guests went out of their way to recognize me and my hard work. A mom came in today and gave me and Alina gifts. They were rocks she had painted herself. They were so cool. She was Israeli too 😋 I met a family in camp today. They have 9 kids and another one that passed away. Their mom home schools them because they're moving to Honduras in September for a mission trip and are living there for a year. The oldest is 21 and the youngest is 1. It's so cool to get to know these families. And when the kids hug us goodbye and the parents thank us and truly mean it, it's means the world to me. I also met another family with 9 kids. It's crazy to me. And the youngest 2 were twins and were so cute yet so annoying. I miss my kids back at home so much. Typical kids are so annoying and have so much drama. My kids at home are exciting and bring something new to me everyday. There's actually a huge amount of kids who come on the boat who have autism but I don't always have them in my age group. Right now it's 3:03am. I went to crew bar after work. I met a new girl a few days ago from Tennessee. Her name is Candace. She sings in one of the bands. She's super nice and I love having another American around. Because she's a singer she has her own room. Today we got a list of boats and the positions they need. Rain and Alina are signing on to the breeze in September and October. That boat has a circle c position starting in November which is a huge possibility for me. I need to request it tomorrow before it's too late. I need to find somewhere to bring my laptop and eat where there's good wifi. Thankfully packages will come tomorrow too. I haven't been taking a few of my medications the past few days because I ran out and they didn't get here in time. Which is probably why I had a bladder spasm today and yesterday. NOT GOOD. Also got some paperwork today that said MR again. I've corrected them so many times and they can't get it right. Kinda like the Filipinos (I finally spelled it right) who don't know the difference between he and she and her and him. The notes they write to the parents are comical. "You child great. She love play with toy. The boy make a friend and has polite." No joke that's what they say. There's also tons of mistakes in the schedules we give out to guests which is super frustrating. This week my name wasn't on the schedules given out to the parents which sucks because they reference those when it comes to writing reviews. There was names of 2 girls who I've never even met...aka they were on the boat 2 months ago. If I see a mistake I just circle it and put it on our supervisors desk so she doesn't know who did it. Oops 😶 I want it to be tomorrow so I can sleep and get stuff done! I also forgot to write about what happened this morning. In the Kiera of my dead sleep I hear loud weird music. I sit up and realize it's coming from the announcements. The bridge (where the captains are) accidentally turned their awful music on and everyone who was in their cabins could hear it. It went on for a good hour as I smashed my head between the pillows. It was comical at first and then I was just flat out furious. 6-15-17 Day 32: today I got off in Long Beach by myself. I took an uber to a local outlet mall where I sat at Starbucks and got some stuff done with the wifi. We were given a list of positions needing to be filled for the rest of the year so I went and did some research on all the boats. I also set up my account on how to get paid from here. They give us a debit card that the money goes on. We can do direct deposit but it wasn't working for me :/ I also sent my dad a Father's Day gift card online. Then I went across the street and ate at California pizza kitchen. I got to face time my mom and update my phone and stuff. Then I learned there's a bus that I could've used for free that goes from the terminal to the outlets. Poop. I didn't know how to use it though so I just took an uber back too. I asked my supervisor about requesting a boat and she said I can't do it until I have my evaluation. When I asked her when my evaluation would be she said "before you leave" well no fucking shit before I leave. I told her the position I want is going to be taken by then and she didn't respond and just kept looking at her computer. She's such a shitty person it's like humorous. We have this other lady we work with who acts like she's our supervisor and she's not. I've literally never even had a conversation with her yet she thinks she can boss us all around. She confronted me about how I turned off the tv and how I didn't do it right. There was a sign saying to not turn off with a certain button and that's the one I turned it off with. Obviously if I would've saw it I wouldn't have touched it. It was a mistake lady...speaking of mistakes, so we are all required to write notes to the parents about their kids and how they've been doing (it's meant to help us get good ratings) well today I decided to read some and I was totally taken aback. These people do not know how to speak English. I felt embarrassed giving them out to the parents because the letters make absolutely no sense at all. It's so awkward. And one of the ladies wrote all the same things on all the cards and put a line where a name would be. Once she met the kids she went in and wrote their names on the line. Like obviously a parent is gonna know what that means, it means everyone is being given the same card and they're just going in and writing all the names down which isn't the point of them. Went to go pick up my packages today and my medication still isn't here. So I haven't been on 3 of my medications since Sunday. And my mom called Sunday and they said they would over night them here which obviously didn't happen. None of them are super serious but I've definitely been getting bladder spasms now that I'm off one of the medications. I'm also off my thyroid medicine as well as my medication that helps me stay awake during the day. I'll have to call my mom tomorrow and tell her but there's nothing she can do because we can't get mail until Sunday. 6-17-17 Day 34: I had no time to post yesterday. I've been so exhausted I sleep every chance I can. Even when I need to eat a meal or shower I've just been sleeping instead because it's so needed. There's been so much unnecessary drama around here it's crazy. Yesterday we had a mom come in asking to talk to "Ms Candy" because supposedly she called her daughter big and chubby. We apologized to the mom on behalf of ms candy (she wasn't there anymore) and explained to her that there's a language barrier and was probably the main reason behind the comment. The mom was understanding but that's hard for a 10 year old girl to hear. I can't believe our playlist cast is leaving tomorrow. I've gotten to know all 8 of them so well. It's very bittersweet. I'm excited to see how the new cast performs though. It's hard to imagine that anyone could possibly do any better than what we have now. I met a family yesterday who has 5 biological children and fosters 3 on top of that. And their youngest son has autism, so of course I'm already obsessed with them. It's crazy how many kids come on the boat who have autism. I love being able to interact with them. Everyone always asks me advice on how to work with them and make it a great experience for the child. I seriously talk about my kids back at home so much I feel like everyone is so sick of hearing it lol. I saw a shit ton of dolphins today. They were right next to the boat. I might get off tomorrow and go to the beach at Long Beach. I HAVE to get my hair cut it's like humorous how awful it looks. It's like I'm a human paintbrush and my hair is the bristles. Rain did my laundry with hers :p so blessed lol. I went to the candy store today on board. They have the cutest stuff there. They're starting to put them on all the ships. We have some people from the office on the boat. They told us that they have 4 new boats that they're working on. They said eventually they're gonna have a boat that sails to china. I'm actually really content on work at the moment. Yeah I'm really tired but moving in with Rain has helped a lot. It feels good to have someone I can go do stuff with and I conveniently always know where she is. There's obviously a lot of negatives about my work environment and my supervisor who has a stick up her fucking ass, but there's so many positives that come with it as well that make this experience so much fun. I worked night owls this whole week (10pm-1am) last pickup time is 1245 and the parents are told this every time. Yet we still are calling parents at 1 having to remind them that their children are in our care and they need to come pick them up. It's so irresponsible. And half the time the parents are wasted. Parents are also allowed to check out a phone but just return them before 10pm on the last night which never happens either. Tonight one of the late parents came in and literally just threw his trash on the ground. These poor kids are passed the fuck out, so tired, and their parents leave them there all night. I'm off now and I'm eating at crew mess alone. Which I'm okay with besides the stares. I've had a headache all day though so I needed to eat something. We have to be at a meeting tomorrow at 930 to meet with some people from the office. I seriously need to sleep in so badly but not sure when that's gonna happen. I start in circle c tomorrow. It's so weird switching back and forth. And being alone in there is hard as well. Especially during high count which is now. 6-19-17 Day 35: I finally got my haircut yesterday. Winslow picked me up. Got about 3-4 inches off. The lady charged me way too much though and she didn't even wash my hair. I was so mad. I didn't question it though because I was in a rush ugh. I started my week at circle c yesterday. No joke had 30-40 kids in there at one time it was not okay. One of the moms asked if I was alone and when I said yes I could tell she was worried for me. She told me I was doing a good job though which was nice. A lot of the kids think they're too cool for my club and it makes me so mad. Like then don't come if you think it's too babyish. I got to sleep in today 🙌🏾 I had a training at 130 that only lasted 30 minutes. Such a waste of time I could've been sleeping! It was an environment training. They train us on the weirdest things. Yesterday 2 of the people from the office came. They're the ones that hired me. I talked to one of them about not getting approved to leave for my cousins wedding and she's going to look more into it for me. She thinks the week I'm requesting to leave we'll actually be overstaffed because of an event on board so it may work in my favor! We got to talk to one of the ladies about issues we're having. She said Circle c is going to be getting an iPad that kids can request songs on. Right now we're using cds...and the most recent is from 2015. The office thought we had one this entire time...she was also confused as to why I was only here for 3 months and why I'm switching on and off from camp to circle c every week. Seems like the office doesn't know their shit. Even today when I signed in at my training it said my position was club O2. And the other day one of my papers said MR. So frustrating. It's 230 and I have work at 4. I'm gonna take a nap because I have nothing else to do and I'm tired af. Tonight I got to see the rock show with the new cast. Not. Good. They don't even come close to our old cast. It kinda made me so sad. People come and go here so fast it sucks. I have 2 brothers in my club. One of them has autism and the other one supposedly doesn't. The one who "doesn't" is out of control. He is constantly in my space and not listening to me. He asked me for just dance 16. I told him we didn't have it. He asked me at least 4 more times why we don't have it and if we have it. I told him no and then he asks if he can look in the office just to make sure we don't have it. I told him no and that they are not allowed in there in which he walked right in. There's also been numerous times where I've been talking to a parent and he'll come over and interrupt because he wants me to do something. I don't have a problem with having him in the club but I wish his parents would use a little common sense and supervise their kids more. They come and go as they please which is okay, but the mom never knows where they are and doesn't understand how their behavior towards me and the other kids is hard on everyone. At first the boys registered themselves so we didn't even know that one of them had a disability. On top of that I have tons of kids this cruise which makes it hard and I'm getting sick.

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