#does this make sense. i feel incoherent but i'm ready to cry right now agh.

[haze-of-hyperfixations]

something about how in Just A Man, as the chorus begins to question where the line between man and monster truly lies, as Odysseus is preparing to make a deadly decision that can never be undone, he pleads for forgiveness, before reiterating that he's just a man.

something about how in Scylla, as Odysseus prepares to sacrifice more people for his family's sake, Eurylochus confesses his own deadly mistake, his own irreversible choice. And then Eurylochus pleads for forgiveness. Odysseus doesn't acknowledge it.

something about how in Mutiny, Eurylochus is singing to the same melody that Odysseus was in The Horse and The Infant, leading up to the "I'm just a man" before he kills the cow, dooming himself and his crew.

something about how in Thunder Bringer, Odysseus doesn't ask for forgiveness. he doesn't apologize. they both know what he's about to do. and he has to see Penelope. and Eurylochus and the crew will die. and Penelope, the woman who he would trade the world for, is singing to him. and he was never going to make another choice.

something about forgiveness. and parallels. and where people turn when they know the blame lies on their own shoulders. when their hands are stained with blood, what still matters to them?

forgive me. i'm just a man.

forgive me.