#does this look like it belongs in florida or am i losing it?

[wychelmie]

i've spent like 4 hours so far remodelling this house...

[grandpeachpersona]

It's A Man's World

Chapter 5 (Batter up)

a/n: To clarify, I do not own the rights to any pictures or names used in this story, except for Sierra Riley. All other rights and names belong to the NFL and MLB. Additionally, some characters are inspired by the game MLB The Show 24, which includes fictional characters. The title of the book is inspired by the song "It's a Man's World" by James Brown and Betty Jean Newsome, for which I also do not own the rights. All rights are held by Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp. and Unichappell Music, Inc. Enjoy!

If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be playing for the Atlanta Braves, I would have told you. You're lying, but here I am. After the draft, I had to fly to Florida for spring training, and then when that was over, I flew to Atlanta to sign my rookie contract, which is $380k for my first year plus a 2 million signing bonus. Then fly to Cincinnati for my first game for the season. Safe to say I've had a crazy couple of weeks. 

Oh and how fitting that Joe is throwing out the first pitch since its Reds opening day.  So it's really true what they say. It does come full circle. 

I walked out from the clubhouse into the away dugout. I noticed Joe in the batter's box swinging a bat at baseballs as they fired out the shooter and must I say he looked damn good while doing it too. 

Ok, time I come clean about something. Do I have a crush on my best friend Joe Burrow? Yes. Am I scared to tell him? Yes. Why? because if I do I'm going to make a complete fool of myself and I just do not want to risk that and possibly losing a friend.  

But friends don't text each other every day for random things or have late-night phone conversions like they used to when they were in LSU together. To sum it up over the last couple of months Joe and I have slipped back into our old ways and not that I'm complaining I just wish we were more. 

I noticed Joe had finished and might as well say hello. I walked out towards home plate catching the tail end of his conversation “I'm so proud of her…to watch her play in college I knew she was big league bound and now she's here.” I heard Joe tell my teammate Austin Riley, a third baseman. 

“There's the woman of the hour!” I hear Ja’marr call out as I make my way toward the group, my heart racing with a mix of excitement and nerves.

I shake my head, feeling a bit overwhelmed. “Stop! I'm done crying for today,” I reply, my voice tinged with a slight whine, reflecting the emotional rollercoaster I've been on.

Ja’marr looks at me with a supportive smile. “How do you feel? Are you ready for this?” he asks, his eyes filled with genuine concern. I nod slowly, trying to muster a confident expression despite my jitters. “I feel ready; I’m just trying not to overthink everything,” I admit, forcing a nervous smile.

“Sis, you’ve got this in the bag!” Ja’marr encourages, his voice steady and reassuring. “Don’t let them cloud your mind—just play your heart out, like you do every time.” His words resonate with me, pushing back the self-doubt that threatens to creep in.

“Ri, you’ve worked your ass off for this moment,” Joe chimes in, giving me a playful nudge on my shoulder. “You’re going to absolutely kill it today! And we just happen to have front-row seats to witness your brilliance.” His enthusiasm and belief in me fill me with warmth and motivation.

Nodding, I accept their words with a grateful smile, feeling a rush of confidence. “Thanks, you guys! That really helps. But now I have to ask: what the hell is this?” I say, gesturing pointedly at the Cincinnati jerseys they are both proudly wearing. They burst into laughter, clearly thinking they could charm their way out of my noticing their blatant team allegiance.

“Hey it was a gift from them but believe me I would wore yours if I could” Ja'marr gives his excuse. I turn to Joe waiting for his.

“I'm from Ohio.” he gives the most obvious answer—typical Joe.

------

Against all odds, Joe delivered a flawless pitch after the pregame festivities and the stirring national anthem. I could feel the excitement coursing through me—this was my moment, my MLB debut.

As they called my name, I heard Joe and Ja’marr erupting with cheers from their private suite through the crowd their support only boosted my confidence and set the stage for what was about to happen.

I locked in my focus, ready to face the pitcher. He glanced at the runner on first, then turned his gaze to me and wound up for the throw.

The pitch came rushing straight at me! I instinctively jumped back, narrowly avoiding it. “One ball, no strikes.” But that wasn’t a mistake; he wanted to rattle me. Too bad for him—I’m not easily shaken. 

I reset myself, gripping the bat firmly, ready for the next challenge. The pitcher checked the runner again and delivered another pitch.

This time, he made a crucial misstep—an offspeed pitch! I saw it coming, and without hesitation, I swung with all my power. The crack of the bat was electric, and I sent that ball soaring out of the park. A home run on my very first hit! 2-0, baby! Now that’s how you make an unforgettable debut. 

-------

We won only by the skin of our teeth 5-4. I had just changed out of my away uniform into some sweets and a hoodie when I heard a knock on my locker room door. 

“It's open” I shout, not feeling like walking to the door. 

The door opens and Joe pops his head in “Hey can I come in?” 

I waved my hand “Yeah come on” 

 He steps in closing the door behind him “Getting ready to head out just wanted to say you looked great out there today” he compliments. 

“Thanks, I had to show off a bit, you know. Oh! I meant to give this back to you, but everything just happened so fast,” I said, remembering his chain that he gave to me to wear on Daft Night. But I never did give it back to him. If I remember right, I was in my gym bag. Bingo pulled it right out. 

I went to hand it back to him be he stopped me “Keep it Ri” 

 “Huh?” I said making sure I heard him right. This boy is crazy.

Joe cracked a little smile “Keep it...believe me I've got plenty”  

I looked at him to make sure he wasn't joking “You sure cause this is worth more than my signing bonus” I joked nervously.

He smiled and nodded his head “Yeah I'm sure think of it as an ‘I knew you would make it’s gift”.

I smiled “Ok no take takebacks Burrow,” I said putting back in my bag. 

“What are you doing when you leave here?” Joe asked suddenly. I shrugged my shoulders. “It's still early so I'm not really tired. Might just chill back at the hotel. Why what's up?” I answered taking a seat on the bench.

He looks at me for a second then slightly shakes his head. “Some friends of mine wanted to go out to eat and all but Ja'marr had to leave soo…” 

“You want me to go in his place?” I finished the sentence for him. 

This is not anything new. I went to a lot of Joe's events as his plus one back in LSU. And he did the same thing for me. 

“Yeah but if you want to call it a day I understand” he quickly says.

I shake my head with a laugh “No I'll go with you, Joe. Plus it would be nice to get a breather before tomorrow's game” I said, opening up my suitcase. 

“Give me a few to get changed and I'll be right out”

Joe raised his eyebrows “You really could go in what you have on” he said nonchalantly 

Is this boy out of his mind? “Joe I'm not hanging out around people I don't know in a hoodie and sweatpants,” I said looking at him all upside his head.

“Yes, you can cause one where only going to Texas Roadhouse. Two you just finished a hell of a baseball game and have a right to wear this. And if someone has a problem with it then we can go and have our own dinner” he says the confidence just flows out as he says it.

My stomach should have not tightened up but I just love how protective this man is. Biting my lip not knowing what to say except “Alright let's go”

-------

Joe was walking me up to my room after that impromptu hangout session with his friends which by the way all amazing. 

“Yeah I'm definitely paying for this tomorrow,” I said feeling like I was ready to pop. 

Joe gives out a small chuckle “Yeah that makes two of us”  

I give him this funny look “You got time to burn it off, Joe. I on the other hand have to play a game tomorrow” I said pulling out my keycard for my room. “Fair point Far point,” Joe said not disagreeing with me

Stopping in front of my room “This is me” I said turning to Joe “Thanks again for inviting me” I said suddenly nervous as I looked at him and his features pretty blue eyes, dirty blonde hair so silky you could run your fingers through it and not get tangled. To some it up this boy was fine. 

His voice knocked me out of my thoughts “No thank you for coming. I owe you one for this Ri” 

Yeah, a date.

“What’d you say” I saw Joe's eyebrows raise..Did I say that out loud could have sworn I said that in my head. 

“I didn't say anything,” I said quickly shaking my head trying to avoid this conversation at all costs.

“Nah, Nah you said something. What did you say?” he asked stepping a little closer. Looking the other way with a blush on my cheeks “I said a date” I repeat my words still not looking a him. 

He stood there with the biggest smirk on his face “I still didn't hear what you said say it again and this time” he paused to gently grab my chin “Look at me” 

Soaked absolutely Soked straight through.

Unable to move I said it again looking straight dead in his eyes “A date. You owe me a date” 

Joe nodded his head and let my chin go “That's what I thought you said” he said stepping away from me. “Ok, how about this. If you get to the World Series which I know you will I'll take you on a date” he said proposing a challenge or more like a bet. “Ok and if I don’t,” I said waiting for the catch no pun intended. 

“Then I still take you on the date’

[missbunnybunny]

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Do you or anyone you know happen to know a Widow? Is so call 1-800 how is the fucking did the tv catch fire? I left for one minute, how?? You might just be entitled to compensation.

Widow is just a warning all on herself. That's my warning for yall.

☆•°☆•°☆•°☆•°☆•°☆•°☆•°☆•°☆•°☆•°☆•°☆

Please like,reblog, or boost this post, THANK YOU!

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Author-san: Yes, hello police? This one right there, arrest her. Why?, cuz she belongs in a Psychword no questions asked.

Dispatcher: Alright, will be there in 10.

Widow: y que te hice?- what did I do?-

*Author-san pointing it out*:

Why?

Widow: see, this time it wasn't me and cómo diablos pasó eso?-how the fuck does that happen? -

Widow: also in my defense, it's fucking Walmart?! That shit is normal!

Author-san: mmm...bueno. -fine-*not fully trusting her*

Widow would 100% use the excuse that " she to cute for jail."

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Widow: look everyone i found a new pet!

The pet:

Ghost: no.

Soap: Why is it runn' like that? No! Stay awayyyy!! * runs away*

Gaz: come to florida they said. It'll be fun they said. Fuckin' florida man Disney typa shit.* shaking his head in disappointment*

König: maus......* his having a internal heart attack*

Widow: his cute. Can i-

Price: no, put it back where you found it. * growing rapid grey hairs, every time Widow does this type of shit.*

*Florida people this a normal day*

* other states and countries, Florida what drugs are you taking????*

*Yup folks, this is the daily life of poor 141. F in the chat for this poor man.*

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*Everyone having normal thoughts*

Widow:

* the second one is a mood honestly*

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*Gaz and Widow having fun while on cleaning duty*

*Widows fav song comes on*

Widow: my song is onn!

Gaz: haha. Well ya having fun dancing.

Widow: yup.

*Widow starts singing*:

Money, money, money

Must be funny

In the rich man's world

Money, money, money

Always sunny

In the rich man's world

Ghost: well, that explains a lot.

Soap: huh?

Ghost: when i asked her to join, she asked how much it paid.

Soap: Ah!

Widow: money, makes the workd run boys. And if am gonna retire, I best get paid a pretty penny.

*In the background*

All the things I could do

If I had a little money

It's a rich man's world

It's a rich man's world

A man like that is hard to find, but I can't get him off my mind

Ain't it sad?

And if he happens to be free, I bet he wouldn't fancy me

That's too bad

So I must leave, I'll have to go

To Las Vegas or Monaco

And win a fortune in a game. My life will never be the same

Widow: money is second to könig anyways.

König 😳: maus.. your 1st on my list.

*Widow goes back to her madness🤪*

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Author-san: Widow may have some screws lose and most likely be more unhinged than ever. But one thing is true she got her priorities DAMN STRAIGHT.

Thank you, everyone, for the love on my other posts 🙇🏽‍♀️.

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[the1975attheirverybest]

Impressions of ttpd under the cut.

Okay, I’m writing my thoughts down as I listen so I don’t lose track.

Songs I’ve listened to : Fortnight, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart, Fresh Out The Slammer, Florida, Guilty As Sin, I Can Fix Him, loml, How Did It End?, The Prophecy, I Look In Peoples Windows, The Bolter, Peter.

Songs I liked: The Bolter, I Look In People’s Windows, The Prophecy, Peter.

KEEP IN MIND: I only listened to the above mentioned songs. Albums are usually meant to be consumed as albums. So if I’m missing certain pieces of he puzzle because I skipped around, lmk/ remember that as you read this.

General note/ TLDR: there are moments of strength on the album. It’s not all bad. In the songs I liked most you can even see the signature strengths of TS, story telling being one of them. But the album feels too bloated and might be her weakest work imo.

The aesthetic: confusing! She oscillates between the asylum and the poet motifs. I understand why. I think a perfect combo for this would’ve been the dark academia trope. She should have embraced that fully. Madness/ darkness as a result of love and creativity is a huge theme in dark academia and in the 18th century poetry that it comes from. She seems to be circle those vibes. But the whole asylum, craziness, poetry, creativity, childhood innocence, corruption and sex, end up confusing the message when they all could have fit coherently together if she did the academia thing.

Positives: the album is hella relatable. The type of love that she describes (setting aside who it’s about) is something I’ve definitely experienced and it’s definitely stuff that people in love will do. Justify acting stupid even when deep down they know what they’re doing will only harm them/ the other person doesn’t see or appreciate it. Building a grandness around the feelings you have for the other person the deeper you fall for them, looking back and mourning that version of yourself as much as you’re mourning the relationship / losing someone. Or like realizing that the greatness that you saw in someone was due to the respect you had for them and goodness you imbued them with not because they were actually worthy of those things…that’s a big ass feeling to accept. Super real. Been there. It stingssss lmao. So I appreciate the honesty.

She’s always known how to tell a story! The Bolter and Peter are great examples of this but it’s in all the songs that I liked. And this has been true since day one. Her classic bangers like “Love Story” and “You Belong With Me” all the way down to Folklore and Evermore. In fact, I think that’s why when Red initially came out in 2010 people found it confusing. She herself always says it’s part of the country music genre that she took with her. Red did that in pop form and purists didn’t enjoy it. She does it on ttpd as well. In some songs it works, in others not so much.

Which brings me to the negatives: when it doesn’t work, it REALLLLY doesn’t work. Like in Guilty As Sin and How Did It End? Which for me are the lowest points form the collection of songs that I listened to. There’s some reality in there I’m sure, but it gets lost under all the bloated metaphors. I don’t think there’s a single line in either of those songs that isn’t supposed to be metaphorical and fake deep. It’s too much! She should’ve stripped it back / edited herself heavily in those songs. The result is she sounds ….idk empty?? Trying too hard. Like straining to really convince you that she’s devastated for real. I’d believe her more if she didn’t feel like she had to prove to me how much pain she’s in and just laid it out as it is.

The album sounds like too much of the same thing? I say this and I didn’t listen to the whole thing. Like the whole breathy/ broody sound and production is the same throughout. Sometimes, artists will do this on purpose to give the album a cohesive identity or to suggest that it’s one story unfolding over time. Like in AM’s 2014 album. That’s not the vibe I got here. Then again, see my disclaimer about not listening to the whole album maybe if I had listened to it from beginning to end I would feel differently. But the vibe I currently get is that some songs might have been recorded in the same writing session so they were too close to each other artistically cuz that’s the idea that was in her head at the time. Or like some songs were made from scraps leftover from another song that came before it. You know what I mean? It’s hard to kill your darlings, as creative writing teachers always say, but sometimes you really should, lol.

General frustration: this album doesn’t have a signature Taylor Swift song that I can sink my teeth into or play in the car, or on the radio and I genuinely don’t think there has ever been a Taylor Swift album where at least one song didn’t go viral/ become a likeable hit.

Overall not as trash as some takes have made me think however nowhere near as good as a TS album should be. Yeah. That’s all I’ve got.

[krakenbait]

bragging rights bracket update #5: the krakening

greetings, bracketeers! i’m back to talk about the two eliminations from round 2 and how it’s affected the standings. things are... interesting, to say the least. let’s start with, as the “too many men” podcast would say, how does this affect the leafs? well, they lost. they avoided getting swept, but still lost in 6 to those crazy cats from the sunshine state, the florida panthers. it wasn’t round one, but toronto’s still doing what they do. but before that, my beloved new jersey devils fell to the carolina hurricanes 😢 very unfortunate for us. 

with that said, let’s check in with the leaderboard!

91 points

more hairy men (abby) - *marie kondo voice* this does not spark joy

81 points

raise hell or whatever (@dawson-mercer) 

be prepared to see this gif quite a few times. also jayc you’ve hit your points ceiling already. oof. 

71 points

hopelessly optimistic bruins fan (@patron-saint-of-boston-hockey) - how ‘bout those phf signings? boston losing giguère and schroeder to montreal hurts, but then you got müller and aurard

68 points

come on and raise up (@andreisvechnikov) - *sigh* good job canes.

ready 2b dissapointed but not surprised (@morganfrost) - you better hope the oilers force game 7 tomorrow. connor mcdavid is your only hope.

66 points

Jack i will pay you to get a mullet (@puck--off)

add one more six and this is a pretty nice score for a devils fan

Hughes line is it anyway? (@natashastarkk)

or add three points and it’s just a pretty nice score

59 points

chaos mode (emily) - seattle-florida cup finals... i can see it now...

58 points

The head, the heart, and the himbos (@circle--of--confusion) - you may not have many points here, but you get points in my book for agreeing that pineapple does not belong on pizza. 

56 points

you know :) (@nastybastian)

at least your boys were looking good in exit interviews

GOOD vibrations (ki) - *cues up the beach boys song*

Hold me like a grudge - for a second there, toronto for the cup looked genius! but glasses only make you look smarter...

55 points

big advocate for naps (@turbolainen) - congratulations! you are one of three people in this bracket who has not yet busted

53 points

the bringer of chaos (brett) - how many unread emails do you have?

46 points

Djoker’s actual bracket - why so serious?

43 points

the commissioner is not supposed to win (me)

the devils gave it a good run and i’m proud of them. but i am now diverting all my attention toward aggressively rooting for the kraken!

36 points

battle of the matty b’s (@shea-theodore​) - i would imagine you are doing the same. they’ve got this!

33 points 

last season 69 points (@arsonandhockey​) - kid, you’ve got potential. (as in, you’re one of three left standing)

13 points

if the bruins don’t win don’t talk to m (AJ) - oh how the mighty have fall-n

[emilemily]

Additionally

I’d like to add that blogging through my thoughts and feelings really does help me a lot.

When I moved to Florida, I fell off in a bad way. Stopped writing down my thoughts or sorting through it all by blogging. When I tell you my mental health has been trash! When I don’t take time alone to dissect my thoughts and present them in a way that can be understood, I fall into this daze of not always knowing what I’m feeling.

I’ll walk around numbed by my Vyvanse, shoving it back until someone makes an offhand comment at me and I respond in a bitchy, emotional way that is inappropriate for the situation. Thankfully I have really good friends who accept my apologies when I offer them. They know that I love them and I really do have a good heart. I’m just fast to pull the trigger sometimes and speak impulsively. It is something I’m working on and have been for a while.

My brain is consistently going at all times. There is no peace from the underlying chaos. Song lyrics, trying to remember names of movies, remembering that one time someone say this or that, reflecting on my childhood, feeling random guilt for things now beyond my control, random bursts of anger at people I haven’t talked to in so long, what was that one teachers name, what dollar amount would it take for me to be financially secure for a year, is going back to college a great idea

Then I’ll be walking down the hallway or down stairs, or sitting down at my desk, or walking my dogs and I will imagine myself falling or getting hurt in a final destination sort of way. As I get into a car I imagine slipping and falling on my face, breaking my teeth out

As I walk down stairs I imagine losing my footing and rolling all the way down, breaking my nose and my teeth as I go. I imagine myself as a bloody mess at the bottom of the stairs

When I drive and make any turns or do anything, I’m imagining myself colliding with someone or maybe street signs, totaling my car and rendering myself paralyzed

And while all of this is running through without breaks, I have the main chorus of Country Roads running through on loop, never going to the next line… just

Country roads, take me home to the place I belong

West Virginia

Mountain mama

Take me home

Country roads

Over and over and over again, sometimes for days on end

It is my brains favorite song to get stuck on. I don’t know why but I do like the song, so I guess there are worse things that could be stuck in my head…

Either way, the Vyvanse helps a little but the shit never stops it’s always there in my head, going on and on and on

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with obsessive compulsive disorder with intrusive thoughts (though I question the validity of that and think it might just be my severe adhd) She prescribed me an anti-depressant that was perfect for that exactly. Gave me serotonin syndrome that hospitalized me due to the adhd meds and the gabapentin for anxiety

So naturally I stopped taking it. I have 7 different anti-depressants that she prescribed and I tried for a couple days and put down, and some I never even opened because I’m terrified to get that sick again

I’m not willing to sacrifice my stimulants for a sound brain and maybe that’s sick. But I’ve never been able to function and be a normal human being (outwardly, anyway) prior to them. I kept one of my monthly performance reviews from my boss to remind me. Seeing myself exceeding expectations on paper reminds me of why I continue. Another memento for the box.

My boss and I were very close. Tomorrow she’s going to come over and look through the many clothes I have to give away and then we’re going to get boba tea

I miss her and I miss my job.

Confronting who I am without my career is hard. Packing up pieces of who I used to be and who I wanted to be. Who I hate that I was, but forgive myself for being. Seeing little bits of Emily over the years

My god it’s a lot. I’m having many thoughts today, and just had to word vomit on here.

WEST VIRGINIA, MOUNTAIN MAMA

TAKE ME HOME

COUNTRY ROADS

[itsadamcole]

arranged - pt.2

fem!reader x drew mcintyre

reader and Drew go to America for reader’s surprises ...

word count: 5.5k+

warnings: prince!drew, just a lil bit angsty, definitely more fluff than part 1, smut :)

— and here’s part 2. enjoy —

part 1 || masterlist || request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You and Drew land in Orlando. It's late January, and a huge temperature difference. It feels more like summer in Florida than it does in Scotland, where it's super cold right now.

A smile hasn't left your lips since you took off, and you're excited to see Candice.

Speaking of Candice, she waits by baggage for you. When you see her, you drop Drew's hand and your things before running over to her. You hug her tight and she says, "Okay, okay. Relax, princess. It's nice to see you."

"It's nice to see you too," you say, looking at her. "I haven't seen you since the wedding."

Candice laughs and says, "It wasn't that long ago." She looks at Drew. "Your husband has gotten handsomer since I last saw him."

You giggle and say, "It hasn't been that long, Candice."

She smiles and says, "So, anyway. Come on. The trainers and doctors want to give you a full physical at Full Sail to make sure you're cleared to be in the match this week on NXT."

Smiling, you say, "Sounds great." You look back at Drew. "Ready?"

He nods and says, "Of course."

Candice drives you both to Full Sail University, where NXT is broadcasted from. She asks questions about what married life is like, how Scotland is, and how it's been over there since you married Drew.

It's a short drive to Full Sail from the airport so she doesn't get to many questions in.

During the physical, the doctors and trainers make sure your in tiptop shape to compete. You've lost some muscle mass since you haven't trained in months but it's not that big of a deal. They do the whole work up.

After you've been medically cleared to compete, Hall of Famer Triple H finds you. He says, "Y/N, welcome to Full Sail. We're very happy to have you here as part of our roster in NXT, even though it's for a short amount of time."

You smile and say, "Thank you, Mr. H."

He hands you a black leather folder and says, "Inside, you'll find a part time NXT contract that will have you as part of the NXT roster for six months. Your husband says that after six months, you will no longer be able to compete. As a part timer, you're slotted to be in three matches, one match every two months."

Your eyes widen and you look at Drew before you say, "I thought this was a one match deal."

"I pulled some strings," Drew says before winning at you.

Triple H says, "As of right now, your matches will be against Candice this Wednesday at NXT, a match against an opponent of your choice at Takeover: London in two months, and a match against an opponent of your choice at Takeover: Glasgow in four and a half months."

Your jaw almost hits the floor and you say, "Takeover matches? Like, actual pay-per-view matches."

Everyone in the room laughs and Triple H says, "We wanted to make your last few matches memorable ones. I've spoken with William Regal about this and he's on board. Are you?"

Quickly, you read over the contract and sign it. "I'm on board," you say.

"Welcome to NXT, Y/N," Triple H says, holding out his hand.

You shake his hand and smile. "Thank you for this opportunity," you say.

He smiles and walks off. You look at Drew and he has a huge smile on his face.

"I haven't seen ya so happy about something before," he says.

You smile back at your husband and you say, "I'm living my dream because of you, Drew. Thank you."

Drew says, "I just got us here. Yer talent is the reason yer living yer dream."

"You've never seen me in the ring before," you say, giggling.

Your husband says, "I get t'see ya in the ring on Wednesday."

You smile and shake you head, leaving to go to the hotel to get some sleep so you can train all day tomorrow before Wednesday.

***

Wednesday gets here too quickly. You've brought your old gear with you to wrestle in. It's definitely more revealing than you remember.

You stand in your little dressing room and look in the mirror at yourself.

The shorts got tighter and shorter, and the crop top now tightly hugs your chest. Your cleavage is very exposed and you hope to God that you don't have a wardrobe malfunction while in the ring.

Now that you're the princess of Scotland, you have a lot to be conscious about.

Someone knocks on your door as you're tying up your boots. "It's me," Candice says. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," you say.

The door opens and Candice walks in. She smiles when she sees you in your gear. "Damn, you looked good in the gear then and you look good now," she says. "Anyway, I was thinking. I want to cut a promo before our match tonight. Just a short one. I'll say how a princess shouldn't be in the ring with someone like me and we can go from there."

You nod and finish lacing up your boots. "Sounds good," you say. "I'm assuming that my signing has been a secret?"

Candice nods and says, "Yeah. Drew's being kept out of the crowd until our slot so it doesn't give it away too early that you're here."

Someone calls your name and Candice's name. It's time.

"I've never been so ready to get back in a ring," you say. "Ever since I left, it's been marriage and princess lessons. I'm ready to wrestle again."

Candice smiles as the two of you walk to the backstage area. "You better be," she says.

Several NXT superstars are in the backstage area. The Undisputed Era, Finn Balor, Io Shirai, Timothy Thatcher, Tommaso Ciampa, Rhea Ripley, Johnny Gargano, Indi Hartwell, and Shotzi Blackheart just to name a few.

You stretch out as you wait for your music to hit.

It's been too long since you felt this rush of adrenaline. Before every match and every promo for Ring of Honor, you'd feel a rush of adrenaline to get you pumped up. You last felt this in your last ROH match a few months ago. It's been too damn long.

Candice's music hits and she walks out. You listen to what she says carefully.

"Rumor has it we're in the presence of royalty tonight," Candice says. "Apparently some princess signed with us a few days ago? That's the rumor anyway. I don't think she even deserves to be in an NXT ring."

That's when you're handed a microphone before your music, I Like It Heavy by Halestorm, hits. Of course it's a clean version of the song because this is WWE but it's fine. You're making your entrance for the first time in months.

The crowd loses it as you walk toward the ring in your sparkly red and black gear. You step into the ring.

The music fades out and you're face to face with Candice. She smirks and asks, "Oh, did I hit a nerve, princess?"

You hold your microphone up and say, "I don't deserve to be in an NXT ring?" You scoff. "Please, Candice. I've fought to be here."

Candice says, "You're Scotland's princess. That's the only reason you're here."

These comments are hitting you hard, but you fight through.

"Listen here," you say. "I am a NWA Women's World Champion, a two-time NWA Women's World Tag Team Chanpion, and Impact Knockouts Champion. I deserve to be in this ring for my talent, not by my title."

Candice says, "Then let's go. You're dressed. I'm dressed. Let's get a referee out here."

The crowd cheers and you yell "bring it" into the microphone before throwing it down.

The match begins shortly after. You have Candice in a headlock and you're trying to bring her down onto her knees. She pushes you off of her into the ropes. You bounce off and hit her with a clothesline.

You say, "Oh, look. The princess is the only one still standing."

The crowd laughs and Candice hits the mat before getting up. You're locked in a grapple with her a few seconds later. After a bit of struggling, Candice knees you in the stomach. You cry out and clutch your stomach, falling to your knees. She hits you with a running knee to the jaw, and you sell it well. You fall into your back, knees bent with your feet beneath you.

Candice pulls at your hair to get you up, and the ref warns her of the hair. She says, "Get out of my ring."

You snarl, "Go to hell."

Then you elbow her hard. She backs off you, creating enough space for you to perform a spinning heel kick. She falls but you get her up into your shoulders into a fireman's carry.

You hit the Falcon Arrow on her and go in for the pin.

One. Two. Three. The bell rings and your music blares. The crowd goes insane. You spot Drew in the front row where he would mostly be off camera. He's looking at you in awe as he applauds. You smile as the ref holds your arm up, declaring you the official winner.

***

Days pass by since your match with Candice. It's all you talk about whenever you get the chance. Drew just smiles and listens as you tell him about the rush you felt being back in the ring.

You're driving to your hometown, a little suburb outside of Manhattan. It's been a quiet ride, and that's because Drew is asleep.

Timezones and jet lag have not been your friend during this trip, but it's easier for you to get used to the time change than it is for Drew.

You pull up to your childhood home and tap Drew's shoulder. "Hey, sleeping beauty," you say. "We're here."

He stirs and looks out the window. You smile and he says, "This is yer old house? It's so small."

"I didn't have much," you say. "My parents scrapped together what they could to pay for wrestling school when I was 14 until I was 17. I told myself then that I'd make it in wrestling and I'd pay them back for what they paid for me to go to wrestling school."

Drew looks at you and asks, "Can we go inside?"

You shake your head and say, "It was foreclosed. It belongs to the bank or something. It would be illegal to go in."

Your husband looks back at the house, which has fallen apart with age. It's a one story house. It has one bedroom, a tiny bathroom, and one room that holds the living room, dining room, and kitchen areas.

Drew says, "This while time ya were over here struggling, I was living it up as the prince of Scotland with my rich parents. I used to throw tantrums because they wouldn't get me the newest toy or take me on vacation with them, and your family couldn't afford either."

"We made it through," you say. "My parents live in a beautiful two story house in the nicer part of Manhattan. I paid them back right before I left for Scotland. Every story has a happy ending, Drew."

He smiles a bit and he asks, "Even ours?"

You smile and say, "Especially ours." You lean over the middle console and press a kiss to Drew's cheek. Your lips linger a little too long and he turns his head. You pull back a bit and meet his eyes.

That's when the butterflies flutter in your stomach and your heart races in your chest.

Slowly, both you and Drew lean into each other. Your eyes flicker to the lips you've only kissed twice, once at your wedding and once at a public event right after the wedding.

One of Drew's hands moves and rests on your cheek. You instinctively lean into his soft touch a bit.

Your lips are centimeters away from Drew's. Your noses touch as Drew's other hand moves to cup your other cheek.

"Tell me to stop if ya don't want this," Drew whispers.

You nod a bit and say, "I want this, Drew."

Then his lips brush against yours. A feather light touch. It makes you lean in more because you want more.

Drew guides your lips to his. Your eyes flutter closed as you kiss Drew. Your hands wrap around his wrists as he cups your face.

His facial hair tickles your chin and upper lip as the soft kiss continues.

It's like your first kiss all over again. Your first kiss was at your wedding in front of thousands of people. This one feels different. You never felt butterflies or your heart race when you kissed Drew at your wedding. You do now.

Drew pulls back and looks at you.

"How come ya never kissed me like that at our wedding?" he asks.

You say, "Because I didn't want it then. I wanted it now. I wanted the kiss."

He smiles and pecks your lips one more time before saying, "Show me yer favorite spot."

Giggling, you say, "I can't drive with you holding my face. Hold my hand if you wanna hold something."

Drew smiles and lets your face go. He takes your hand as you drive to your favorite spot.

Your favorite spot, or your safe spot, is a small park. You pull up, and get out.

The sun is setting, and you have a perfect view.

After taking Drew's hand, you walk over to a park bench. You sit down and Drew sits beside you. He wraps an arm around your shoulder as you both watch the sunset.

Drew says, "Ya don't have t'stay if ya don't want."

You look at him and ask, "What are you talking about?"

"In Scotland," he says. "Ya don't have t'stay. Being king isn't that important t'me if it means that ya don't get t'keep wrestling. I saw ya in the ring the other day, and it's all ya talk about. Ya love wrestling, and I don't wanna take that away from ya."

You turn so you're facing him as you say, "I'm happy in Scotland. Yeah, it was hard at first. I had to come to terms with possibly never wrestling again, and I did. Until you surprised me with this trip. I love that you did this for me, and for that, I'll help you become king and I'll be the best damn queen Scotland has ever seen." Drew smiles and you throw your legs over one of his legs.

You continue with, "Plus, I may or may not have fallen for you completely so I'm not going anywhere. Til death do us part, remember?"

There's almost a sparkle in Drew's eyes when you tell him that you might have fallen for him.

Your husband smiles and says, "I, uh, might've fallen for ya completely too."

You smile and lean into Drew. You kiss him slowly and softly. He kisses you back, pulling you closer to him.

The kiss is slow and full of passion. Your heart pounds in your chest as your lips move against Drew's.

Drew pulls back again and he says, "Let's find somewhere t'stay tonight. Do ya have a favorite hotel?"

You nod and say, "Yeah, it's in the city. Let's go."

The two of you get up and head to your favorite hotel.

***

The San Carlos Hotel. It's a cute little hotel, and not over the top fancy. You rent out a suite for the next few days, and they tell you that your stay is on the house because you're royalty. Sometimes being a royal has its perks.

The suite is a one bedroom suite. A full bathroom and walk in closet. Plus a living room area with a couch and a flat screen, and a kitchen.

Drew smiles when you unlock the door. You both walk in and you say, "Home sweet home while we tour New York."

He looks at you and say, "I'm glad ya didn't take the out when I offered it, Y/N. I didn't know ya were happy in Scotland. Honestly, I thought ya were miserable."

Giggling, you walk up to Drew and say, "Scotland is a beautiful country. I'm happy to be its princess, and eventually queen."

Your husband says, "Scotland's beauty is nothing compared to yers, Y/N."

Your cheeks heat up and say, "You are one unbelievably cheesy prince, you know that."

He laughs and says, "I take good pride in that. It's a talent."

Laughing, you begin to unpack. Drew disappears into the living room.

Once you've finished unpacking, you walk over to the window. You cross your arms over your chest and look out over the city that never sleeps.

Cars are still on the road and people are milling around on the sidewalks even though the sun has set.

You smile and keep looking out the window, until a pair of arms wraps around your shoulders. You don't have to look to know it's Drew. You lean back into him.

"I'll miss New York," you admit. "The city is always buzzing. It's the city that never sleeps, you know."

Drew presses a kiss to your temple and he says, "Just because we're gonna be king and queen doesn't mean we can't leave the country. We're not locked down in Scotland when we ascend the throne."

You sigh and say, "I know."

The two of you stand like that. You both look out over the city for several minutes.

Drew asks, "So, I did good?"

Nodding, you look up at Drew. "You did more than good," you say. "This has been the best trip of my life, and I'm glad you're here with me."

Your husband says, "I hope we can actually try at the relationship thing. I have a lot to learn still and-"

You lean up, pressing a soft kiss to Drew's lips to cut him off. He's caught off guard by the kiss but he kisses you back.

After a moment, you pull back and say, "We're gonna try at the relationship thing." You smile. "But I know that you know a decent amount about some parts of a relationship."

Drew says, "I know a lot less than ya think I know."

You turn in his arms and ask, "So if I asked you to, I don't know, take off my clothes, you wouldn't know how to do it?"

His face gets flustered as he stammers, "Well, I, uh, I know how to take off clothes, Y/N."

"I would hope so," you say, teasing him.

Drew smiles and says, "Listen, I don't know much about relationships but I know a lot about the physical parts."

You stare up at Drew and say, "Show me what you know."

"Y/N, we just talked about trying the relationship thing," he says, smiling. "I don't think we're ready for the next step."

A smile forms on your lips as you say, "We've already skipped a step or two. What's one more?"

Drew pushes some hair out of your face before he cups your face. He says, "I wanna do this the right way, Y/N."

You look up at Drew and you say, "There is no right way when we're in this situation."

He laughs softly and says, "Yer not wrong."

Leaning your head up, you say, "So show me what you got."

Drew smiles and leans down, bringing his lips to yours. The kiss is slow at first, full of passion. You wrap your arms around Drew's waist, holding him close to you.

His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, asking for access. You part your lips slightly. His tongue slips into your mouth. You let out a soft sigh into the kiss.

Your heart is racing in your chest at the thought of Drew taking off your clothes. You've seen him without a shirt on, but he's always seen you clothed.

While you're busy thinking, Drew's fingers have started working on the zipper of the jacket you're wearing. He pushes the jacket off of you and you pull away from the kiss.

Your eyes meet Drew's and he asks, "Ya really want this?"

Nodding, you say, "I want this." You untuck the shirt he's wearing from his pants.

Drew smiles and picks you up by your waist. You wrap your legs around his waist as he walks toward the bed. You giggle and wrap your arms around his neck. You take out the hair tie that's keeping his hair in a ponytail.

"I don't want your hair up when we're together," you admit. "I like it down."

Your husband lays you gently on your back on the bed. He looks down at you and says, "Anything for my princess."

You giggle, "So cheesy."

Drew leans down and kisses you. Your fingers slide up into his long locks. One of Drew's hands roams your body over your clothes while you start to unbutton the button up that he's wearing.

Several months ago, you and Drew wouldn't even touch each other. Not even hand-holding. Now, you're underneath him on a bed.

Things have definitely changed for the better over the last few weeks between you and Drew. It feels like euphoria when he kisses you or touches you. You can only imagine how it'll feel when his fingers find their way into your pants or under your shirt.

You're barely able to control yourself as Drew's lips move from yours to your neck. Your eyes flutter closed and you run your fingers through Drew's long locks. His button up now hangs open after you got it unbuttoned.

Drew kisses and nips at the skin on your neck as you push the open button-up off his body. You run your fingers gently up his now bare arms until your hands cup his face. You bring Drew's head up, bringing his face out of your neck. You're breathing a little heavy as you meet Drew's pretty blue eyes.

You lean your head up and press your lips to Drew's hard. One of Drew's hands runs down the side of your body, grazing the side of your breast. You almost shiver with anticipation as Drew's fingers reach the bottom of your t-shirt.

He pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you. You sit up a bit and lift your arms over your head. Drew pulls the t-shirt off of you and discards it somewhere in the room. You're left in just a plain, black bra and pants. You didn't think you'd be doing this or you would have worn a fancier undergarment.

"God," Drew says, eyes wondering over your half naked upper body. Your cheeks get hot as he looks at you underneath him.

He shifts his weight so he's kneeling between your legs. He pulls your hips toward him. You feel the bulge in Drew's pants against your clothed crotch and you gasp slightly. Your husband sits on his heels as he looks at you.

You stare at Drew, waiting anxiously for him to make a move. Your heart racing wildly in your chest.

Drew hooks his fingers into the waistband of your leggings, pulling them off your body slowly. They join your shirt on the hotel floor. He leans down and starts to lightly kiss your belly. You giggle and look down at him. His lips trail up your belly until he reaches the bra you're wearing. He undoes the front clasp and the bra falls open, exposing your breasts to Drew. Your breath hitches as he uses a finger and plays with one of your nipples. He kisses the other breast before sucking on that nipple.

You bite back a moan as you slightly arch your back off the mattress. The hand playing with your nipple moves down your body. Drew's fingers slip into the waistband of your panties and you sigh. You lick your bottom lip as his fingers inch closer to their target.

Your husband's eyes flicker up to your face and he watches for your reaction as two of his fingers run through your slick folds. Your eyes flutter closed and you smile, grasping onto the blankets on the bed.

His fingers tease your clit and you say in a whispered tone, "Don't tease." Drew teases your entrance and you let out a quiet moan.

"That was the prettiest things I've ever heard come from ya're mouth," Drew stares.

You get all flustered and say, "It's not nice to be a tease, Drew."

He presses a light kiss to your jaw and mumbles, "Tell me what ya want, princess."

Almost begging him, you say, "I want to feel your fingers inside me. Please."

Gently, Drew starts to pull off your panties. The fabric is thrown to the floor and you pull off the bra. You're completely naked in front of Drew, and you feel comfortable. You trust that Drew won't do anything to hurt you. He's the kind of man to make sure that you're okay with something before he does it.

Drew runs a finger through your soaked folds before he pushes that finger inside of you. You bite your lip to hold back your moans. Drew's hovering above your naked body. His lips are on your neck again, nipping at the skin and definitely leaving marks.

His finger moves in and out of you. You let your lip go and let out the moans you were holding in. Then Drew adds a second finger. You gasp and moan, "Drew."

"Making ya feel good with just my fingers?" Drew mumbles against your neck.

You nod frantically and say, "I love your finger."

He smirks and says, "I can promise ya that they love ya too."

The speed of his fingers quickens and your hips buck off the bed. You moan his name and a few profanities. A knot forms in your stomach.

You're intoxicated with how Drew is making you feel. You love the feeling of Drew's fingers inside of you. His touch makes you feel euphoric and waves of bliss overcome you with every flick of his wrist.

Your walls clench around Drew's fingers and you cry out, "Drew, I'm about to cum!"

The Scotsman's voice drops a tone and he asks, "Ya gonna cum from my fingers, princess? Do I make ya feel that good?"

Nodding, you desperately say, "I need to cum. Please."

"Go ahead, my love," he says.

Your legs begin to shake as you release all over Drew's fingers. More than you ever have for anyone before. Moans pass your lips as well as Drew's name mixed with profanities. Your breathing is labored as you come down from your high. Drew kisses you as you try to catch your breath.

Your lips move feverishly against his for a few moments before Drew gets back on his knees. You sit up with him between your legs and undo the button on his jeans. You look up at him as you push the dark blue fabric off his body. He's left in his boxer shorts as he sits back. You crawl onto his lap, straddling his huge bulge. You run your fingers down Drew's chest and he looks up at you.

"I have t'get something if we're gonna do this, princess," Drew says, pecking your lips. "Unless ya want to start producing heirs t'the throne right now."

You giggle and say, "Let's wait a year before we start doing that."

He smiles and snakes his way out from under you. You sit on the bed and watch as he grabs a little silver package out of the travel bag. He walks back over to you and you move to the edge of the bed.

You hook your fingers into the waistband of his boxers and pull them down. Drew watches you as his erect member pops out of the boxers. His big, and thick. You swallow a bit and look up at Drew.

He's smirking down at you before ripping the tiny package open and sliding the contents on himself. Drew pushes a piece of hair out of your face and says, "Be a good princess. Get on yer back and spread those beautiful legs for me."

You don't say anything, you just do as your told. You scooch yourself back on the bed and lay on your back. You spread your legs a bit as Drew crawls up to you, hovering over you between your legs. The tip of his member runs through your folds and you sigh.

"I've been missing out on a lot," you admit, looking up at Drew.

Your husband lightly kisses you as he says, "I have a lot t'offer."

Smiling against his lips, you say, "I can see that."

Drew props himself up on his arms, hands on either side of your head. You stare up at him before he asks, "Are ya sure ya want this?"

You nod and say, "I've never wanted anything more."

Then he pushes inside you. You gasp at the small amount of pain you feel before it goes away, turning to pleasure. He thrusts slowly into you, moving deeper every few movements. His length starts to fill you little by little. You're a moaning mess beneath Drew, nails raking up and down his back.

When he's fully inside you and you're adjusted, his hips speed up. He starts thrusting harder into you. Grunts leave his lips as moans leave yours. You wrap your legs around his waist so he has better access.

"Oh, fuck," you cry out. "Don't stop, Drew. Oh, faster. Please."

He listens to your wishes and he moves faster. He leans down and brushes his lips against yours. You lean your head up for the kiss and he pulls back slightly. You chase his lips and they barely touch his.

The tip of Drew's member finds your g-spot and you cry out. That's when he knows he's found the target, and he moves faster. His member slams into your g-spot over and over again. You scream out his name mixed with profanities several times as he fucks you into the mattress.

The same knot from earlier forms in your stomach as Drew builds you up to a second orgasm.

Drew's finally kissing you. Your lips move against his breathlessly and your nails dig into his sides. He twitches inside of you and you mumble, "I'm about to cum, baby."

"Me too," Drew says. "Together."

You nod. He moves a few more times before you both cum at the same time. You around him and him into the condom.

Drew kisses you messily as you both ride out your highs. Your hands are on his face as you messily make out with him.

He pulls out of you and pulls back from the kiss. You whine a bit as he ties off the condom, throwing it away. Drew helps you under the comforter before joining you. Drew spoons you from behind with one of his arms draped over you. You hold his hand as you press your back to his chest.

Both your breathing and Drew's breathing have returned to normal. He leaves soft kisses on your shoulder and a smile is on you lips.

"That was amazing," you say. "I really could've had that the entire time instead of fighting with you."

Drew lets out a breathy laugh and says, "I should've just talked to ya about everything sooner. We could'a done that a long time ago."

You giggle and say, "Now that we have done that, I don't know how long I can go before we do that again."

Your husband says, "Whenever ya want, princess. Hell, if ya wanted another go then I wouldn't say no."

Looking back at Drew, you say, "Calm down. You just made me cum twice within several minutes. I need some time."

Drew smiles and says, "Of course. Were ya seriously about that waiting a year before we start trying for a baby?"

"Of course I was," you say, turning and facing Drew. "I would love to have a baby with you, but I want to make sure that it's something we both want. I'm ten year younger than you, Drew. We have some time."

Your husband smiles wide and kisses you. "I am so in love with ya, princess," Drew coos against your lips.

"I'm so in love with you too, Drew," you respond.

Months ago, you hated the thought of marrying Drew just for him to become king. You never even wore your rings behind closed doors. Now, it's changed into something more. An actual relationship where you love Drew and he loves you.

That's all you hoped for when you said 'I do' to the prince of Scotland.

—

tags: @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

[quiverwingquack]

Okay so in this post @gosalyn made the excellent point that Louie doesn’t have any friends and it got me thinking about just how little the poor kid fits in.

Like, Webby makes friends wherever she goes, and at first she had the most trouble of any of them. If I remember right Louie was the one who was hesitant to bring Webby to Funzos because of her lack of social skills. But she makes friends with the other girls, and a lot of people she interacts with seem to like her a lot! She’s super friendly, to the point in Louie’s Eleven, Swanstantine, and Castle McDuck she gets people talking to her mid-battle.

Dewey’s obviously super friendly and he’s got a lot of people to talk to, what with befriending LP early on and knowing who both of the big superheroes are. He’s friends with Gos, and I would guess, knowing LP and Drake are going to go to Fenton to help her find her Grandpa, that Dewey has an easy “in” with Boyd too. Plus, he’s adventurous, so that means he gets along super well with Della and Scrooge, and like in Doomsday Vault he goes along with them, but none of the other kids do. He’s just close to them naturally.

Huey bonds with Boyd and Violet over Woodchuck stuff. Like Webby he has a bit of trouble socializing (autism coding, perhaps?) but he finds his people. And like Dewey he has Fenton, and he seems to hang around the lab with Team Science a fair amount. Specifically in Moonvasion he repeats that early Gyro quote like “I am man, you are machine,” which I always thought was a sign he’s been around Gyro enough to pick it up. Even if they’re not technically “friends” Huey has people to hang out with and do his own thing.

But Louie keeps getting left behind.

Boyd goes off to live with the Drakes, and I think neither of them talk much afterward. Maybe when they’re hanging out as a big group, and Boyd’s there with Huey and possibly Vi, but generally I don’t think they’re friends. It was a traumatic experience for Louie, like he might have gotten very hurt or died, and he mentions it to Della later on as such. So they probably aren’t very close.

Plus, even earlier on, he tries to connect with Doofus, thinking “oh this will be great, a rich kid, finally someone will understand me.” And what happens but a near-death experience, just like all the adventures have been for him. He’s left miserable, and he goes home with his brothers, probably feeling like they only came to help him because of coincidence(which is partly true) and like they’re only there because they have to be.

He wants to be close to Goldie. Like, she obviously cares about him, with that picture in her wallet. But he cries when she leaves because he finally felt understood, and her leaving hurt him. And maybe after Florida she’ll come around a little more, because after almost losing Scrooge I think she realizes she needs people, and she’s got them when she’s around the McDuck/Duck family. But the damage has already been done, you know? Again, traumatic experience, and Louie’s gonna always have that between him and Goldie, so they’re going to have a different relationship than what Huey does with Fenton and Dewey with LP.

Plus when it comes to his family itself, he doesn’t really get along with anyone as well as the others. It was a plot point in S2 that both Scrooge and Della struggle to connect with him right. They see his schemes as bad or hurtful, he’s not as into adventuring/tends to be uncomfortable with danger rather than excited by it. With Glomtales they kind of show how he feels like an outcast because he can’t connect with the people around him right, and in Woodchucks he has that line about being “cold and terrified” equaling adventure for him. Then, in the end of Quack Pack, they show him upset with Donald’s wish, which could signify that he doesn’t get along with Donald too well either thanks to a difference in ideals. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen them, but in Mervana, Impossibin, and even as far back as Atlantis he and Beakley have trouble getting along too(which might come up again in future with the whole lying thing).

Also, like I mentioned earlier, I definitely think sometimes he feels his brothers are only there because they think they have to be. I mean, remember the B-plot of the Other Bin episode? The whole thing was Dewey and Huey pushing Louie aside for their new buddy and blackmailing him into helping them hide it. Dewey hiding the Della thing basically broke his heart in Secrets of Castle McDuck, and afterward he was terrified of adventures altogether because of it, like he tells Huey in Game Night. In Cousin Fethry it’s a gag even that they blame their actions on poor Louie! He’s constantly made to feel like he doesn’t fit with them/doesn’t belong, and when they are there for him, like in Only Child Day like I mentioned, or Found Lamp and Timephoon, a lot of it is due to Louie messing up and needing their help. They’re very rarely there just to support him and I think that contributes to how outcast he feels.

Do you think maybe that’s why he leans so hard into his schemes? He doesn’t have friends to spend time with, and if he can help it, stays home rather than going on adventures. He probably fills that time making schemes and inventions alone. Like with Louie’s Eleven and Glomtales, he just wants to feel like he’s needed and he belongs in the same space where his siblings fit in so effortlessly. Part of it, of course, comes from being raised in a household where they didn’t have a whole lot of money (look at the interior of Donald’s car in Woo-oo, for one) but I think just as much of it is driven by this need to feel like he’s part of the family.

The poor kid just constantly gets left behind, forgotten, not included, over and over, and his “lone wolf” act he puts on working with Goldie is probably not much of an act, actually.

[olderthannetfic]

Miami Vice episode suggestions

I was chatting with someone a few days ago about which Miami Vice episodes really cover that sense of the self being subsumed into the undercover role...

Yes, yes, I know: the answer is ALL OF THEM.

But for someone who doesn’t want to watch five seasons of TV just to write Miami Vice fusion fanfic for another series, here are my suggestions. These use Wikipedia’s episode numbering.

1.01-2 - Brother’s Keeper - The pilot includes the iconic Something in the Air Tonight scene and is basically the only time we find out that Tubbs is super inexperienced and just got there through sheer moxie. I love Tubbs. All things related to Tubbs are the Most Important Episode. (More relevantly, this is also an episode about dirty cops and identity.)

1.03 - Heart of Darkness - The dad from Married with Children is an undercover agent losing his mind. A strong and literally textual There But For the Grace of God At Least Until Sweeps Week moral for Crockett.

1.05-6 - Calderone’s Return - C&T leave the country despite being city cops to do a spot of extrajudicial killing. They take their shirts off, making this a Very Important Episode. Also, there’s undercover romance stuff.

1.07 - One Eyed Jack - Crockett’s old flame is in deep with loan sharks. The new boss played by Edward James “has had the same death glare since the 80s” Olmos shows up. So does that guy who was every gay dude’s sexual awakening in the 70s. “Little Joe never once gave it away,” as Lou Reed sang. (YES, I AM SUPER OBSESSED WITH JOE DALLESANDRO.) Internal affairs is bad like on all cop shows. Crockett gets framed. Ye olde fandom starts shipping Crockett/Castillo. I start shipping Castillo/Tubbs.

1.14-15 - Golden Triangle - Crockett and Tubbs go undercover as pimps with the help of a feisty hooker who is one of my favorite one-off characters, but what seemed like a small case leads to mysteries from Castillo’s past.

1.16 - Smuggler’s Blues - A famously atmospheric episode where C&T fly to Colombia posing as drug dealers in a mission to uncover dirty law enforcement. This is the episode the reboot movie’s plot is based on. Without credit to Miguel Piñero, I might add.

1.22 - Evan - The Gay Episode™. Makes absolutely everyone look like a gigantic closet case, and the bury your gays happened years before the actual episode, but less offensive than you might expect.

2.01-2 - The Prodigal Son - C&T go to NYC where Tubbs is from. Possibly the most iconic montage of The City As Character in the whole city literally to You Belong to the City as Crockett angstily realizes Tubbs is staying in NYC with his old flame.  Spoiler: Tubbs is absolutely not staying with Valarie. TBH, I would totally pick Pam Grier over Don Johnson, but buddy cops, man...

2.09 - Bushido - Peak 80s weeaboo. Castillo kills AK47-weilding KGB agents with a katana. No, seriously.

2.16 - Little Miss Dangerous - My favorite hair metal lady stars as a fucked up prostitute who murders her johns because of childhood trauma or something. Features Tubbs being traumatized hotly. Err, I mean, a very serious episode that I like for deep and serious reasons.

2.18 - French Twist - The most inexplicable set design in all of Miami Vice history. I am not kidding. You will know it when you see it. Also good for showing Tubbs’ paranoia and Crockett’s doomed love life.

3.04 - Walk-Alone - Tubbs goes undercover in prison. No, I have no excuse for this rec except that Castillo going after him is super hot.

3.06 - Shadow in the Dark - Ripped from the headlines serial killer stuff where Crockett goes too far inside the mind of his quarry.

3.10 - Streetwise - Bill Paxton is a cop who destroys his life trying to save the prostitute he’s having an affair with. Wesley Snipes is also in this. (Yes, absolutely everyone guest starred on MV.) Peak nihilistic The Job Destroys You fare.

3.15 - Duty and Honor/The Savage - Castillo’s past comes back to haunt him again. Includes some stuff about trying to do the honorable thing while being on opposite sides.

3.19 - Red Tape - Viggo Mortensen and Lou Diamond Phillips are ill-fated cops. Tubbs goes undercover as evil.

4.03 - Death and the Lady - C&T investigate an artsy snuff film. Pure 80s aesthetic nonsense. I love it.

4.06 - God’s Work - Interesting episode that turns out to be about AIDS. Lots of Castillo in this one.

4.22, 5.01-2 - The “Burnett arc” - The series’ most iconic arc where Sonny Crockett gets amnesia and believes he is his undercover role, Sonny Burnett. He takes over the Florida underworld while Tubbs refuses to believe in his apparent death and searches for him. 4.21 is Crockett losing his wife and engaging in a spot of extrajudicial killing, but the arc really kicks off in 4.22.

5.05 - Borrasca - The CIA wants Vice to leave a murderous drug dealer alone for bullshit CIA reasons. A must-watch for what it implies at the end of the episode--a secret that now ties Tubbs and Castillo together, but not Crockett.

5.13 - The Cell Within - A dude Tubbs arrested in NYC (a total retcon of the pilot where he’s basically a traffic cop) has become a bestselling author, dedicated his book to Tubbs, and invited him to dinner. Too bad the actor playing him isn’t hotter, but this is peak bad fanfic plot where the villain kidnaps our fave and gives him the Let’s Rule the World Together speech while locking him in a cell. Tubbs is just that hot, I guess. Kudos for the scene where the dude makes Tubbs watch BDSM porn with him to demonstrate how the world is Full Of Sin. (Extra kudos for it just being footage of an episode from season 1.)

5.15 - Over the Line - I don’t even remember this one, but it’s about vigilante cops fed up with the system.

5.16 - Victims of Circumstance - Crockett has to go undercover as a white supremacist. A little hokey but worth watching if you’re interested in undercover bullshit on this show.

5.17 - Freefall - The actual last episode, full of nihilism and disillusionment with the system.

Or for a shorter list, try the pilot, the Burnett arc, and the finale.

[sabraeal]

Insult on Top of Injury

The Wide Florida Bay | Previous

Written for @vivianwisteria‘s birthday...which just so happened to be right when I was in the hospital, not able to work on anything. But at least this time it’s only a month late! She requested a Wide Florida Bay piece, specifically the moment Obi comes out to Zen...and how could I refuse >:3

This is a fucking disaster.

In his heart of hearts, Obi knew there was no way this conversation wouldn’t have hit like a brick, no matter when or how they had it. As much as Doc insisted that her and Zen were over, that they’d pretty much failed to launch in the first place--

Well, Obi had known that wasn’t the way Chief saw it. You don’t have a deep heart to heart on a yacht about liking the same girl without picking up a few things about how your romantic non-rival thinks things are going. God, he’d told him to propose to her.

Three-years-ago Obi was such a dumb fuck. Good thing no one listens to him.

Three-years-from-now Obi is going to be thinking the same fucking thing about him right now, he can just feel it. Well, as long as that asshole finishes his thesis, he can think whatever he likes.

He shakes his head, looking in the mirror. Now’s really not a good time to be yucking it up over how good Future Obi is going to have it, not when Present Obi is currently wondering if this bathroom is fancy enough for him to have a window to climb out of.

Not that he would. He’s left Doc out there, awkwardly making conversation with the happy couple and her shell-shocked ex-boyfriend, and though she has a gift for smoothing things over, this is--

It’s a lot. Especially when said ex-boyfriend didn’t realize that he’s been one for the last six months.

Fuck. Obi slams his palm onto the metal lip of the sink-- or rather, trough, since this isn’t just a fancy-ass fake Mexican place, but the kind that has rustic-yet-modern details like brushed metal trough sinks and exposed beams and something that might actually be adobe.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” he tells the mosaic bird beneath his feet, and sticks his head right under the faucet.

Ah, that’s right-- the best part about fancy places like this is when he turns on the tap, the water is actually fucking freezing. And if no one is around to hear him yelp like a little baby when it hits his neck, so much the better.

“Fuck,” he gasps, rearing back out of the stream. “Fuck.”

Obi meets the gaze of his own reflection, and god, does he not need the judgement he sees right now.

“I get it,” he tells Mirror Obi, watching the water drip through the bristle of his hair, leaving tracks down his forehead. “I fucked up. Bad.”

Not like he could have done much. He’d wanted to believe Doc too much, wanted to believe that the past two years had all been leading straight to this, to them; that it hadn’t been a meandering path that circled around and sometimes even through her floundering relationship.

Still, he probably could have texted. Hey Chief, just want you to know I’m fucking Doc now. Just as good as I thought it would be. XOXO.

Oh yeah, that would have gone so well. He can just tell.

Obi shakes himself, water spraying over the trough. He’s gotta pull it together. He can’t stay in this fancy fake Mexican bathroom all night. Doc would kill him.

No, not kill-- Doc would never be so violent. She’d just give him that sad pout and say things like, I’m not upset, I’m just disappointed, and make him wish they had a yard so he could go sleep in the doghouse where he belongs. Whoever said, there are fates worse than death has definitely met Shirayuki when she’s disappointed.

He scrubs a hand down his face. Time to face the tapas. Ain’t like things are gonna go any less sideways in here.

The door easily swings open under his hand; it’s almost a disappointment. It lacks the proper gravitas of a man going to his own disembowelment.

A disembowelment that is going to happen about two minutes earlier than he expected with far less of a crowd, if Kiki’s expression is any indication.

“Kiki!” There’s a reddish cast to the shadows around her, thanks to the great big EXIT sign she’s underneath, which lends an artful level of menace to the situation. God, he wishes she wasn’t between him and the door. “Just getting some fresh--?”

She levers herself off the wall, swaggering right into his personal space. It’s both super hot and pants-pissingly terrifying; something that would be right up his ally if he both wasn’t in the best relationship of his life and bone-shakingly certain he was about to die.

“Go talk to him.”

He blinks. “Come again?”

“Go talk to him.” It’s strange; he’s always thought of Kiki as a giant, as a woman who maybe couldn’t look dead into his eyes but at least came close, but standing like this she’s-- small. Human. “Please.”

“I don’t...” He sighs, shoulders rounding. “What am I even going to say to him?”

“Everything,” she tells him, forbidding. “Anything. Just keep using words until this is better. You’re good at that.”

He chokes on a laugh. Sounds more like Doc’s specialty than his; whenever he runs his mouth off he just gets into situations like this.

“Princess, I would love to oblige you,” he manages, “but I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“We’re only here because none of you can just--” she makes an aborted gesture and steps up into him, so close he can smell the spice on her breath. “Make it possible.”

He laughs. “How?”

She pokes him square in the chest. It hurts. “Use. Your. Words.”

His hair dries the instant he steps outside, because if there’s one thing Florida’s good at, it’s being hot as fuck. And humid as fuck.

Use your words. Obi sighs. Easy for Kiki to say; she barely uses any. He’s been spouting them all night, and they’re still here: in a fancy tapas restaurant trying to masquerade as a humble taqueria, with Chief taking a long walk on its short pier. Literally.

Obi trudges down the stairs to the shoreline, hands buried in his pockets. Here he is, all dressed up-- he wore a button-down for this; hell, he wore slacks too, and that’s what really killing him before the breeze kicks up-- and still everything has turned into a shitshow. He ate his tapas, made good conversation, broke the news gently, and--

It’s no good. He can try as much as he likes, but the fuck up here is still him.

He drags his glare off his shoes when he hits the planks, and it’s like he walked right into one of those GQ shoots: Zen’s all artfully disheveled, leaning on the rail with the sort of brooding, thousand-yard stare that cameras love. He’s half-tempted to slip out his phone and take a pic himself, except that memorializing the moment he royally fucked up a friendship seems like a bad idea, psychologically. Definitely a choice the therapist back at Wistal would have spent a good hour on.

“Hey,” he says, trying to be casual, as if there was anything casual about chasing after your bro after you inform him you’re sort of fucking the girl he got off the plane thinking he was still dating.

He shakes himself. No, not-- it’s not fucking. He’s dating Doc. Seriously. God, this is literally the most serious he’s ever been. This is real.

Though, there is definitely a lot of fucking. A lot more than he’d imagined there would be, if the planets aligned and Shirayuki looked at him like how he looks at her even a little.

Zen stiffens, shoulders springing up to his ears like the pickets on a fence, like he can keep Obi’s bullshit out if he puts enough of a barrier between them. Which...fair.

Obi sidles up next to him, bracing his hand on the rail, and breathes. The salt stings his lungs, his eyes, and god, hadn’t they done this before? It’s only been three years, but that night on the Wisteria yacht feels like ages ago, like another lifetime entirely.

He had shitty feelings then too. Just blurted out I like Doc like an idiot.

Use your words, that’s what Kiki said. Obi grimaces. Look how well all that turned out.

“What’s the deal with the dock?” he says, regret instantly washing over him. Why on earth did Kiki think he could do this? “Like one of those big overhang decks? I could get that. But a dock? Seems excessive.”

The silence is disheartening, but Obi can’t say he doesn’t expect it. Small talk isn’t really a thing you do when everyone’s realized there’s been an overlap in boyfriend eras.

“It’s really more of a wharf,” Zen says, like he’s dredging up each word. “Lots of little piers all together.”

“Oh, well,” he drawls, mouth twitching. This he can work with. “Sorry. What’s up with the wharf?”

Zen shrugs, shoulders practically creaking from the effort. “It’s a thing waterfronts do. People have houses down here, and they like to have a reason to show off their boat to all the neighbors.”

Obi can’t help it, he stares. “So they drive it to the nearest fine dining establishment?”

Zen casts a confused look back at the restaurant. “I mean, it isn’t that nice.”

God, rich kids.

“If you say so, Chief.”

Silence settles over them, as comfortable as a wet blanket-- ugh, or maybe that’s just the humidity; they really should be having this conversation where there’s air conditioning. Or never. But never isn’t an option, not unless he wants to lose this, and--

And whatever else happens, he can’t. Doc might have been the one to clean him up and tame him, but Zen was the one that pulled him out of the dumpster. He had every reason to keep on driving, to leave him sitting in a vat of fried pickle juice, but instead he stopped. Instead he offered a hand.

It wasn’t a kindness he deserved. He’d known that then, and he knew it even better now. But Zen saw something in him, something not even he had seen, and--

And he needs that.

“So, ah,” Obi coughs, staring out at the marina across the bay. “Back in the restaurant. That was, ah, a lot, right?”

Zen doesn’t answer him, doesn’t even look at him, but Obi’s watching him from the corner of his eye, and he sees his mouth pull thin. Yeah, this was probably not the most graceful way to bring this up. Probably should have stuck with small talk.

He clenches his jaw. Whatever, in for a penny, in for a pound, and quite frankly if they don’t clear the air, Kiki might kill him.

“Yep,” he says, glaring out over the water. “You’re right. Just a whole ton. Really fucking heav--”

“This was my worst nightmare,” Zen croaks, the words nearly lost on the breeze. “You know that?”

Considering he wakes up in a cold sweat two nights out of seven, convinced Doc’s come to her senses and left him only to find out she’s gotten up to pee-- yeah, he knows that. Inside and out.

Probably...probably not the best time to say so.

“I knew the whole thing was a risk,” Zen admits, with a rueful laugh. “I mean, you told me you liked her, and I sent you after her anyway.”

Obi stiffens. “You didn’t send me here. Shidan offered me a spot, and I chose to come.”

“Right, sure, but I encouraged you,” he says, elbows leaning heavy on the rail. “I told you that you could do it-- that you should do it. And I-- I knew then too. Even without you telling me.” He laughs, wry. “I made the stars align to get you here.”

His fingers clench around the wood. It’s true, he knows; his grades had been good, Garrack liked him, Shidan liked him, but abroad programs were a long shot, and he was not the sort of pony the admin department was apt to bet on. He’d always known there must have been a nudge, a whispered word over canapes, but--

But he really could have lived without knowing it. “Doc was with you.”

“Sure, but I’m fifteen hundred miles away, and you look like-- like that.” He waves a hand at him, cheeks flushed. “And you were interested.”

The rail creaks under his grip. “I never--”

“No, of course not,” Zen sighs. “But all you have to do is breathe and panties come off.”

Historically, it’s a fair assessment, but it’s like he’s forgotten that it’s Doc, the last person on earth who would be swayed by rippling abs and solid pecs. For two solid years she happily went without any sexy time whatsoever from her long-term boyfriend and thought that was a good thing, and it had nothing to do with how well he filled out his jeans. Unfortunately. Would have made a whole bunch of things a lot easier if it had.

“If you’d been interested in me, I would have--” Chief turns a painful red-- “I mean, if I was a girl. Not--”

If Zen had known, he would have done more than eyefuck you for an entire year.

It’s strange how that’s all it takes for things to come into focus. It’s not about Doc, it’s not even about him, it’s--

“I just thought if this was going to happen, it wouldn’t have taken so long,” Zen continues, hunching over the rail. “I thought you’d just...jump each other or something, and it’d be over.”

--It’s about him.

“I should have paid more attention,” he sighs, morose. “I just thought that I knew you--”

“Hey, while we’re talking about stuff,” Obi blurts out, wishing he could stop hearing Kiki’s voice, wishing he could stop thinking, just talk about everything until this is fixed, “you know, stuff we haven’t talked about...”

Zen turns to him, wide-eyed, and god, this is a really bad fucking idea.

“You should know,” he says, striving for a casualness that isn’t even in the same zip code as his anxiety, “I’m bi.”

The word sits between them like a lead weight, like cement shoes.

“W-what?” Zen manages, and god, he’s almost purple.

“Listen, Kiki said that--” he shakes his head-- “never mind. I just-- it seemed like you should know, and honestly, it’s not like you can really get more mad at me at this point, so--”

“I’m not-- I’m not mad.” He is a little breathless, which is interesting to say the least, and there’s not an exposed sliver of skin on him that isn’t pink. “I just-- why are you telling me? It’s not like I’m-- that I--”

“Kiki said we were flirting all of sophomore year,” he says before the kid can hurt himself. “So it felt pertinent to the conversation, I guess.”

“What? I wasn’t--” he sputters before his words dry up. “Wait. We were flirting?”

God, he really has a type, doesn’t he? “Yeah. You know--” he turns to him, letting his mouth take a sly slant-- “before Tanbarun, I could have gone for blonds or red heads.”

Zen stares. “What does Kiki have to do with--? Oh.” His jaw goes slack. “Oh. So you were...?”

“Flirting? Yeah.” He slides closer, brow arched. “Thought I was being obvious too.”

Chief’s mouth works for a moment, eyes darting to take in this new distance, and he blurts out, “I thought you were joking!”

Yuzuri’s right; he needs to work on his game if the result is resoundingly, I thought you weren’t interested.

He grins, dropping his voice. “Ryuu says I like to joke, but I never lie.”

It’s fun to see Chief like this, stuttering and unsure, face so red he’s worried about what it means for brain function. “But you-- you said-- on the yacht--”

Obi doesn’t point out that the yacht was a good six months after Tanbarun, that by then he’d been long gone on Doc. Whatever potential had been brewing between them had cooled, Obi’s heart settling into the long haul of pining for a girl he’d thought would never see him as more than a friend.

Mostly because it’s funnier this way.

He leans in, close enough that his breath stirs the baby-fine wisps at his hairline. “I said I liked you.”

He’d meant it, too, but not the way he would have months earlier, wondering if Chief’s furtive post-shower glances were as speculative as his were. On that yacht, his whole body had been quivering, an arrow ready to be loosed. He just needed Zen to point him south.

“I also said you had great eyes,” Obi reminds him, smirking. “And a great ass.”

Zen’s mouth pulls flat, and just like that the spell is broken. “You said you liked Shirayuki, too. And you definitely meant that differently.”

Yeah, he’d meant to say he loved her, but it seemed kinda gauche to say in front of her boyfriend.

“Maybe,” he teases with a shrug, “but you’re both my type. Stubborn, cute--” he slides his hand along the rail until they’re almost touching, looming over him-- “short.”

“All right.” Chief puts a hand to his chest and shoves. “Joke’s over.”

Obi stumbles away, pressing his palm to his heart with a theatrical gasp. “Why, your lordship, would I ever lie to you?”

Zen’s mouth pulls thin. “No. I know that you’re-- being honest about that. But you’re definitely trying to fuck with me.”

“Can you blame me?” he asks with a grin. “I don’t envy your complexion at all, chief. You give everything away.”

“Ha-ha.” Zen gives him a withering look. “First short jokes, now this. You definitely seem contrite.”

“Hey, I am. I never--” he shakes his head-- “we weren’t trying to hurt you. We just--”

“No, I get it.” He hangs his head with a humorless laugh. “I wasn’t part of the equation. I stopped being one a long time ago and then just...never noticed.”

Obi grimaces. It sounds so much worse when he says it, all out loud and stuff.

It doesn’t make it any less true.

Zen coughs, awkward. “Hey, uh, listen. As long as we’re being honest...”

Every muscle in his body tenses, but Obi takes a breath-- takes two breaths, because this is going to be heavy, talking about Atri, talking about what it’s like to feel like you’re carrying around a secret no one will understand-- and leans oh-so-casually against the rail. “Yeah?”

Nailed it.

Zen squares himself off, like he’s expect a fight-- no, like he’s expecting a punch, and he’s ready to take it--

“I’ve been seeing Kihal.”

Obi stares. “Uh, what?”

“C-casually!” he clarifies, springing back from the rail and shuffling down the pier like he hasn’t dropped an absolute bomb. “It’s not-- not anything serious or anything. Just, you know. Coffee. And dinner.” With a guilty expression he mutters, “And breakfast.”

Obi stands there blinking like an idiot. “Come again?”

“Listen, I know it’s...” He grimaces, realizing there’s no more rail to hold this far out, and holds up his hands instead. “I know I said that nothing had changed for me, but I guess--” he sighs, hanging his head-- “on some level I knew. Shirayuki was pulling away.

“That doesn’t make it right,” he continues, “but even though we hadn’t said anything, I knew it was over. No--” he shakes his head-- “I wasn’t even thinking about it. Shirayuki wasn’t even really a consideration.”

He can’t even think from how loud his mind is screaming. “So you came down here to...what? Break up with Doc?”

Zen grimaces. “I mean, it sounds so bad when you--” Obi glares-- “yeah. Yes. I guess. Something like that.”

“So what you’re saying,” Obi deadpans, “is that I suffered through that whole dinner, your huge ass guilt trip monologue, and this conversation...and you’re seeing someone else?”

“Well, gently,” he argues lamely. “Not like you guys, when you’re, you know, practically married--”

His arm moves on its own.

His palm juts out, taking Zen right in the chest, and he stumbles for a single step in his boat shoes before he falls ass-first right into the bay. A jolt of concern wracks him in the second it takes Chief to emerge, bobbing and gasping, linen shirt soaked all the way through to transparency, and is gone just as quick.

“What,” he gasps, hands flailing for the dock, “was that for?”

Obi grins. His arm might have moved on its own, but he definitely approves. “Really?”

Zen deflates, arms crossing over the planks to hold him. “Okay, this is fair.”

He crouches down, meeting his wide-eyed gaze. “You think?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Zen holds out his hand. “Just help me up.”

“My pleasure, master,” he teases, grasping his hand, and--

And it’s only once he’s tilting, boards no longer under his feet, that he realizes: that’s the oldest trick in the book.

From the pier, the shore had looked a lot closer. It takes a significant amount of actual swimming until he’s able to brush his toes against the bottom-- though he’ll admit, half of it is because there’s no cool, convenient way to swim with clothes on. Doggie paddle is inefficient, but actual strokes look like you’re trying too hard, so they make due with some weird combination of both with some freestyle cussing.

“So,” Zen coughs, once his own feet can touch, a good few feet after Obi can. “Did you like Mitsuhide too? I mean, since you wanted to kiss everyone?”

In Obi’s opinion, the fact that his top three sexual fantasies in Wistal involved either Zen, Kiki, or Doc showed some real discerning standards, like some real Gray Goose level taste, but he understands-- the point’s lost on Zen. He’s in his mid-twenties and can count the number of people he’s wanted to catch in a dark corner on one hand. They’re different people, it’s cool.

“Nah,” he sighs, shaking out his hair. Zen hisses as some of the water sprays him. “I mean, if I didn���t know him, I’d fuck him in a second, but--” he hesitates-- “No, wait, scratch that. I’d let him fuck me, but--”

“OKAY,” Zen yelps, pushing past him. “Conversation over! Too much information!”

Obi grins at his back. “You did ask.”

“Yeah,” Zen huffs, trudging faster, “and now I definitely regret it.”

“Hey,” he croaks, feet finally finding purchase-- as long as he cranes his neck up. It hurts like a bitch, but it’s giving him a great view of the shoreline. “Does that look like--?”

“Kiki’s waiting for us?” Chief finishes faintly. “Yeah, it does.”

He’d grimace if it wasn’t going to get more water down his throat. “Does she look...pissed?”

“I can’t tell from here.” Zen gives him a flat look. “Are you a betting man?”

It’s not much of a gamble with these odds. “How about we just swim up...super slow?”

“Yeah,” he agrees, quickly. “Sounds great. Let’s just take our time.”

The water laps at their thighs-- well, his thighs, Chief’s waist-- when Obi finally clears his throat and asks, “So Kihal.”

Zen tenses beside him. “Yeah?”

“You really--” man, this sounded better in his head-- “like her?”

“Yeah.” Zen sends him a wary glance. “I think...yeah. There’s something there.”

“Good.” Considering how much there it sounds like Chief’s experienced, there better be. “She’s good people. I wouldn’t want anyone to be playing around with her.”

To his everlasting surprise, Zen laughs. Has a good old fashioned guffaw right there as they marinate in fish shit and whatever runoff this restaurant is paying the inspectors to miss. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just--” he shakes his head, hair almost translucent between the sun and the water-- “she did not like you back in the day.”

“According to Doc, she thought I was hot back in the day,” Obi says, basking in Chief’s unstifled ugh. “And then was extremely betrayed when I ended up being an asshole.”

“That does sound exactly like her,” Zen admits with a begrudging fondness. Obi dares a glance in his direction, and-- yep, lovesick smile.

“I’ve since made up for it,” he assures him, hand pressed humbly to his chest. “But she also likes to text me every few weeks to remind me she could kick my ass.”

“Also sounds exactly like her.” Zen ducks his chin, awkward. “It’s good though.”

“I’d say so. I could live out my Zorro dreams if I let Elena de la Vega--”

“Please do not finish that thought,” Chief pleads, eyes rolled heavenward. “I just meant it would suck if one of my best friends didn’t get along with my girlfriend.”

Obi has to take a moment. A whole ass moment while he tries to remember how breathing and not crying work.

Chief claps him on the back, expression etched with worry. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He coughs, and ugh, some ugly cry phlegm comes out. “Just-- there’s pollen or something. My chest got all tight.”

“Right.” Zen squeezes his shoulder with a grin. “I know this is all-- weird.”

“Terrible,” Obi corrects.

“Right, it’s godawful.” He sighs. “But I won’t lose you over being dumb. Either of you.”

“Cool, yeah” He nods, and ugh, makes the worse sniffling noise. “Also-- girlfriend? I thought you said this wasn’t anything serious.”

He’s eaten lobsters less red than Chief, he’s pretty sure. “Shut up.”

“Somehow,” rings a cold voice from the shore as they pick their way over the sharp shells near the shore, “this is even stupider than I thought it would be.”

Obi winces. Ah yes, going slow would have been a great plan, if Kiki was going get to tired of waiting. Now she’s only had time to age her anger, like the wines in the Seiran basement.

Zen gulps, audibly. “It’s not my--”

She holds up a hand, whipping out her phone and flicking through screens so fast that a deep pit of dread forms in his gut. Oh, she’s not just pissed, she’s officious.

They are fucked.

“W-what are you doing?” Zen asks, faint. If he was a lobster before, he’s its ghost now, pale as a sheet.

“Ordering you an Uber.” She says it the same way men in the spy business might say waterboarding.

“W-wha--”

“I’m glad to see you’ve both worked out being idiots,” she tells them, mouth curving, just for a moment, into something like a smile. “But there is absolutely no way you’re getting into Mitsuhide’s car like that.”

Kiki regards the two of them, dripping into the bay in their nice clothes, from down the length of her nose. “The restaurant will lend you some towels for the ride. We’ll meet you back at the hotel.”

She strides away, disappearing up the stairs, toward the street.

“Well,” Zen sighs, dragging himself out. “That could have gone worse.”

“No.” Obi shivers, giving him a boost. “She’s just leaving the rest for Doc.”

Zen freezes, halfway up the retaining wall. “Oh. We’re fucked then.”

“Yeah,” he grunts, “now you’re starting to see the picture.”

[i-am-worm]

DOUBLE BONUS BLUE

So my sister @feral-deer went to Disneyland Florida for her honeymoon (and frankly just in time it seems x.x) and she brought me back an Alebrije as featured in the movie ‘Coco’. She even picked out the most ‘dinosaur looking one’ for me she said. XD

But...I’d never seen Coco! I had actually avoided it as I felt it was Disney stealing form ‘The book of life’. But I had heard some good things  and my sister lent me the DVD before the lock down. This way I could understand where my ‘Spirit Guide’ creature was about (TECHNICALLY they’re a Mexican art from developed in the 1930s but I do like how Disney entwined them into something more spiritual).

He sits on my coincidental skull shrine.

So here is my little dino. I feel like maybe it should have been more angular and more of a ‘dinosaur meets a flowery armadillo’ thing. Maybe I’ll, come back to it later.

As for Coco...(long-winded babble below about the film and belated spoilers).

Well it is a good film, it’s got heart to it and the titular ‘Coco’ was wonderful. I enjoyed the songs, the visuals and it’s perfectly serviceable as a classic Disney film. And has a real heart-warming ending and a good touch on how life exists through memories. it’s definately worth a watch if nothing else.

But they totally stole the base story form ‘The book of life; and it shows. ‘The book of life’ was pitched to Pixar first and it was initially rejected and considering Disney tried to trade mark ‘Dia de los Muertos‘...yeah they’d totally do something like that.

Overall the feeling from those who worked on ‘The book of life’ was ‘Hey! You get two cakes!’ in regard to Disney also making a day of the dead film so there is no hard feelings it seems (asides form aforementioned trade mark).

This website does a great job of showing the similarities and differences and shares my overall feelings about the films:

https://sweetanimatedfilms.wordpress.com/2018/01/21/coco-vs-the-book-of-life/

But Coco had these unresolved or unclear bits that felt like they came about because they were piggybacking.

- Miguel sort of...falling into the land of the dead. No reason given. The dead family briefly suggest it’s because he stole from the dead and is now ‘cursed’ but it’s super glossed over. @scifer​ and I think it's because the idea of a family member playing music is ‘cursed’. Miguel sort of drops lines like ‘I’d play even if I die” and “I’ must be cursed” through the intro. But Disney films are usually more on the nose than that. In ‘The book of life’ the main character is killed in order to get to the land of the dead. It felt like Disney couldn’t have a child dying but wasn’t sure how to approach it otherwise.

- The dead have these Alebrije animal spirit guides...sort of. They only feature here and there and it’s not clear why they have them. The dead in this world don’t seem to make a ‘journey’ or have trials they have to go through. Its almost like normal-life in fact (complete with bureaucracy!). So why do they need a guide? Where was Hector guide? Pretty sure he needed one! They were such a cool idea but felt really under utilized.

Heck- Dante (who turns out to BE an  Alebrije - which make sense as the breed were meant to be guides for the dead) could have dragged Miguel into the land of the dead to help Hecktor, who Dante is meant to be guiding to peace in the afterlife. There. Fixed two points.

- Finally, the ending has the bad guy get his posthumous comeuppance in the living world and the family get over their 50-YEARS OR MORE utter HATRED of music. How? How did Miguel explain or find evidence of that one? I thought they were going to show Miguel finding his dads song book in the tomb or something like that. 

When he lost his dad’s photo and I thought it would have been good (and even a bit dark) if Coco never regained her memory of her father, but instead remembered who Miguel is. Then she gives Miguel a secret earlier song book (or even hidden letters with songs) belonging to her father Hecktor. With the evidence he wrote the songs, and was coming home;  and the family along with the towns folk then remember Hecktor more fondly. Thus giving him more ‘life’...in the afterlife (and then punish Ernesto de la Cruz by abandoning his shrine because they agree there must have been ‘foul play’).

I don’t know. I am throwing muddy ideas at the walls here. Disney films need the bad guy losing and the heroes ‘winning’- it doesn’t have to be perfect story wise (but it should be >8O ).

All this is serviceable in the terms of a Disney film and doesn’t out right break the plot, but they stood out to me. This is not to say that ‘The book of life’ doesn’t have its deus ex machina moments, but it felt like the plot was more thought out and grounded. It also had the excuse that it was a story being told by trickster gods to modern day children.

Speaking of which- when is present day Coco supposed to be based time period wise? Miguel had video tapes of 50′s-60′s films, so was this the 80′s?

[i-can-get-extra-with-my-ships]

Only Us

Ok, so more writing for the not bread shrine. (That’s the one-shot tag. The Not Bread Shrine.) The prompt for this one came from anon. I told them that I was writing both, and I am. It’s just that my Prinxietea fiend came out and wanted to write this one first. Also, to that anon, I switched it to songs from various musicals because yeah? (And I’ve only listened to musical theater songs for the past like 3 months. (When I have the choice and my taste in pop music is like earlier 2000s because that was good music that I remember from when I was like 3.) My life aside, serious talk time.

Songs Used: Meant To Be Yours (Heathers) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD7x_7tUFNI

Only Us (Dear Evan Hansen) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPvO1sZkOx0

(Crap tons of others are mentioned. The words of these two songs are used though)

Parings: Prinxietea (Prinxiety)

Tw: Cursing and the murderous kind of fluff

Word Count: 1985

----

“Hey Ro, how much longer till we get there?” Virgil asked not looking up from his phone.

They’d only been in the car for 2 of the 16 hours it takes to get from Florida to New York. 2 hours. This is going to be a long drive. Roman thought before answering his boyfriend’s question.

“14 more hours, love.”

Virgil set his phone down. “UGH!! THAT LONG!!!” 

Roman laughed a little bit. “May I remind you that we’re driving from Florida to New York?”

“Well, whoever decided to drive is an idiot.”

Roman laughed again. “You decided to drive stormcloud.” Roman would’ve loved to see Virgil’s expression at that, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the road or Virgil would freak out.

Virgil tried to move on from the fact that he’d just called himself an idiot. “Well, if we’re stuck in this car for another 14 hours can we put on something other than this crap?” He gestured to the radio. Virgil was never one for pop music. Roman would much rather listen to musical theater soundtracks, and that’s what he put on.

It was a long playlist that Roman had put on shuffle. The first song that came up was Meant To Be Yours. 

Virgil’s face lit up. Heathers had always been his favorite musical.  Virgil didn’t sing, Roman, however, being the extra bitch he was started singing at the top of his lungs. “You chucked me out like I was trash for that you should be dead. But! But! But! Then it hit me like a flash what if high school went away instead!” Virgil stared in awe at his boyfriend. Questioning how he was such a good singer.

Then came a mix of theater songs. However, the order that the shuffle put the songs in was so random. Virgil, being the conspiracy theorist that he was, kept trying to figure out “WHAT THE HELL IT WANTS FROM US!!” Every time another song would start playing Virgil would add on to the story that he’d come up with. 

Roman was amused with every addition that each new song brought. After  three hous the story went as follows:

(Cautionary Tale (Mean Girls) and Kindergarten Boyfriend (Heathers)) Be careful with love.

(You Will Be Found (DEH)) Even if you're not careful with love, and you get hurt, someone will see you and you'll be found.

(Be More Chill (Part 1.) (BMC)) Once found, be careful what you do and what friends you choose.

(Fight For Me (Heathers)) Also, you will meet someone who's beating the shit out of the people you hate. 

(The Pants Song (BMC)) Also, in that moment please be wearing pants. 

(Revenge Party (Mean Girls)) You then will invoke revenge on the people that were getting the shit beat out of them.

(I Love Play Rehearsal (BMC)) You will find this person to be incredibly adorable.

(Our Love Is God (Heathers)) You’ll then fall in love with this person and go commit murder with them.

(All You Wanna Do (Six)) This person will be sexually attracted to you.

(World Burn (Mean Girls)) This person wants to watch the world burn.

(Two-Player Game (BMC)) This person will become one of your best friends.

(The Squip Enters (BMC)) You will meet another person who will be similar to the Squip.

(Someone Gets Hurt (Mean Girls)) The Squip person will hurt you.

(Heart Of Stone (Six)) The other person will break your heart.

(Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise) (Mean Girls)) You will tell these two people off.

(Lifeboat (Heathers)) Then you will fall into a deep depression.

(Be More Chill (Part 2) (BMC)) Your self-deprecation will get bad and the voices in your head will be very persuasive.

(Sexy (Mean Girls)) Karen Smith will bring you joy during this dark time.

(So Big/So Small (DEH)) You will start to lose more people close to you.

(I’d Rather Be Me (Mean Girls)) But then you will realize you’d rather be yourself then be with those people. 

(To Break In A Glove (DEH)) You will learn that the hard and right way is the way that you should use.

(Do You Wanna Hang? (BMC)) You will be put in an uncomfortable situation and not be able to do anything.

(Ex-Wives (Six)) You will get a chance to start again and rewrite your history.

(Fearless (Mean Girls)) You will become fearless. You will no longer fear death.

(Requiem (DEH)) One of the first 2 people mentioned will die. You will refuse to grieve.

(Me Inside Of Me (Heathers)) You will have killed them. You then need to cover up your mistakes.

(Stop (Mean Girls)) Your conscious will tell you to stop doing murders.

(The Squip Song (BMC)) You will be offered a Squip and be in denial because it’s BMC IRL. (Or you know, just like drugs.)

(Freeze Your Brain (Heathers)) You refuse the drugs and/or Squip and obtain a Slurpee addiction to combat your depression.

(Don’t Lose Ur Head (Six)) You will begin to be “Sorry not sorry for what I said”.

(Apex Predator (Mean Girls)) You will judge the most popular girl in school.

(Voices In My Head (BMC)) You will begin to accept the voices in your head and know that they are normal.

(Where Do You Belong (Mean Girls)) You will find a new home where you are accepted.

(No Way (Six)) You will refuse to be accepted by these people.

(Sincerely Me (DEH)) You will write emails to yourself and an imaginary pen pal.

(Get Down (Six)) You will  be the “Queen” of your “Castle”

(What’s Wrong With Me (Reprise) (Mean Girls)) You will question what’s wrong with you.

Then it was time for a rest stop. A total of 3 hours had passed by that time. Both Roman and Virgil’s sides aked from laughing as much as they did. Once they got out of the car Roman intertwined their fingers and swung their arms as they walked into the rest stop.

There was a McDonalds inside. They ordered and stood by the counter so then they could grab their food and leave. 

While they were waiting, Virgil asked Roman “Hey Ro, how much money do you have?” Roman wasn’t aware of where Virgil was going and said “I dunno. Like 10 bucks? Why?” Virgil was slightly offended by Roman not saying the line. I mean, you should only have to hear “Road work ahead? Uhh yeah. I sure hope it does.” like 10 times to know that this person is going to keep making Vine references.

Anyways, Virgil ignored Roman missing the reference and said “Oh! You know what that means!” Roman sighed before putting on a very dramatic face and said: “I don’t have enough money for chicken nugget.” 

Virgil smiled and intertwined their fingers again. (I like the phrase “intertwined their fingers” idk why. I just do) “I knew you would get it at some point.” Roman smiled fondly at Virgil. “Why are you like this?” 

Virgil leaned on Roman and told him “Oh come on!! You know you love me.” Virgil didn’t intend for it to be a Disney reference, but Roman took it that way.”Do I know that? Yes. Yes, I do.” They both laughed a little bit before they were interrupted by their order being called. They grabbed their food and went back to the car.

After they ate and threw out their trash, they began driving again. Virgil had forgotten the story that he’d come up with so he just moved on. 

The song that came on first after they started driving again was More Than Survive from Be More Chill. Roman sang again (he sang just about every song that came on). Virgil smiled. He had always enjoyed Roman’s singing. This whole time he had wanted to sing, but he didn’t. He knew Roman wouldn’t mind. He’d enjoy having an extra person to sing with. 

Especially for duets.

Virgil smiled even brighter at the thought of the two of them singing something sassy like Apex Predator or just fun like Two-Player Game. But he didn’t. He wasn’t planning on singing either.

Well, I guess the best way to put it is keyword: planning.

The first piano notes that were the opening to Only Us from Dear Evan Hansen began to play. There had been an hour or two’s worth of songs that came on between More Than Survive and Only Us. Roman had been wrapped up in his own world of miscellaneous theater songs. Virgil guessed that he was going to take both Zoe (That’s how it is spelled on the Wiki so that’s how I’m spelling it) and Evan’s parts, but he didn’t care. Once Laura Dreyfuss began singing he did as well. 

However, Virgil was very quiet, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you.” 

The next line he sang a little louder. But not loud enough for Roman to hear him. “I don’t need you to search for the proof that I should.” 

The next few lines were just barely audible. “You don’t have to convince me. You don’t have to be scared your not enough. ‘Cause what we got going, is good.”

The next set of lines were only slightly more audible. “I don’t need more reminders of all that’s been broken. I don’t need you to fix what I’d rather forget. Clear the slate and start over. Try to quiet the noises in your head. We can’t compete with all that.”

Virgil had a nice crescendo going and he didn’t even realize until he was singing the chorus very loudly. “So what if it’s us? What if it’s us, and only us? And what came before won’t count anymore or matter. Can we try that? What if it’s you? And what if it’s me? And what if that’s all that we need it to be? And the rest of the world falls away. What do you say?” Roman had stopped singing Zoe’s part once he heard Virgil.

He did come in with Evan’s part though.

“I never thought there’d be someone like you, who would want me.” Virgil smiled. “Well.” Roman looked at Virgil using his peripheral vision as to not get lectured for not keeping his eyes on the road and how they could’ve died. “So I give you ten-thousand reasons to not let me go. But if you really see me if you like me for me and nothing else, well that’s all that I’ve wanted for longer than you could possibly know.”

Roman braced himself. He knew what was coming next. He was scared that once he started singing with Virgil that he’d crash the car.

“So it can be us. It can be us, and only us. And what came before won’t count anymore or matter. We can try that.”

Virgil smiled at Roman before coming back in and having the two of them sing together.

“It’s not so impossible.” Roman was starting to get convinced that he was going to crash the car. Virgil’s voice was incredible. “Nobody else but the two of us here.”

Virgil noticed Roman tensing up and intertwined their fingers. “‘Cause you’re saying it’s possible.”

“We can just watch the whole world disappear.”

“Till you’re the only one I still know how to see.”

“It’s just you and me.” 

“It’ll be us. It’ll be us and only us. And what came before won’t count anymore!”

“We can try that! You and me! That’s all that we need it to be! And the rest of the world falls away! And the rest of the world falls away. The world falls away. The world falls away.”

“And it’s only us.”

God. What Roman would’ve given to kiss Virgil in that moment.

However, he’d made up his mind.

Next rest stop…

He’d kiss the fuck out of his Emo Nightmare.

----

Taglist: @winterswishing @thetomorrowshow @an-existing-leah @iixclementine @elatedgiff

@rain-bound I was that anon who asked if you’d like to be tagged like 2 days ago.

@just-some-gt-trash I figured you’d love this.

@stop-it-anxiety I value your opinion greatly and I’d like to know what you think.

[salyardskatalyna]

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I’ll Never Leave You

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Slight violence, robbery, gunshot wound

Word Count: 3.5k+

Summary: Reader is Tom Holland’s girlfriend and a police officer for the city of Los Angeles, a fact that worries Tom to no end. One day, his worst fear comes true as his beloved girlfriend is injured in the line of duty. Angst and fluff!

After securing your hair back in a tight bun, you straightened your police uniform, ensuring your badge was placed in the proper, visible spot and that all the necessary items were present around the belt at your waist. Once satisfied with your appearance, you turned from the mirror at the exact moment your phone began chirping, signaling an incoming FaceTime call. Grinning, you quickly rushed over to answer the call, already knowing who was at the other end.

Your boyfriend of one year, Tom Holland, was always sure to see you off to work, whether he was home in person to kiss you goodbye or whether he had to be satisfied with wishing you a safe shift through a screen due to his insane filming/press schedule. However, despite his busy schedule and the insane time differences that would often separate the two of you, he was always aware of when you were going to work and insisted on speaking with you and assuring you that he loved you as well as reminding you to be extra careful. Some might find this behavior clingy or obnoxious, but it always filled you with butterflies knowing that your boyfriend cared about you and your safety that much that he was willing to sacrifice his already limited sleep simply to wish you a good shift.

So, with that in mind, you eagerly grabbed hold of your phone and swiped to accept the call, anxious to see his handsome face and hear his voice.

“Hello, love!” He immediately greeted, a large smile spreading across his face as soon as you came into view on his screen.

A light blush spread across your cheeks, love and adoration shooting through you even after a year of dating.  It never got old hearing Tom call you his love and you hoped that it was a feeling that would never go away. He was perfect in every way and you couldn’t believe that this gorgeous, kind, amazing man was actually yours.

“Hi, Tom!” You greeted enthusiastically. “How is filming going?”

Currently, Tom was in Florida shooting a few scenes for his upcoming movie set to release within the next year while you were at your apartment in Los Angeles. You had grown up in this area and hadn’t known anything else. While Tom had been out doing press for Spiderman Homecoming, the two of you had miraculously met and hit it off and the rest was history. Although, the time differences and the long-distance relationship was difficult and something that you both had to adjust to and work hard at maintaining, you wouldn’t trade it for the world as long as you got your Tommy.

“It’s been good, good,” he explained, a light glinting in his eye as he went into more detail about the scenes that he had shot that day and the stunts that he had been able to perform. He was so passionate about what he did and it was so wonderful to just sit and listen to him talk about what he loved. It was one of the qualities that originally attracted you to him. He was so energetic and in love with everything that he did, which just gave him this natural magnetism.

“And we only have a few more scenes to shoot today,” he continued. “And then we’re done for the rest of the day, which will be nice. But I just wanted to call you really quick before you go into work to wish you a good shift.”

You smiled affectionately at him as he ran a hand through his messy brown curls. “Thank you, Tommy,” you murmured happily.

“And please be careful, love,” he pleaded softly, his brows furrowing in concern as he thought about all the crime in LA and all of the potentially dangerous scenarios that you could find yourself in throughout your shift as a part of the Los Angeles Police Department.

“I always am,” you reassured, a small smile appearing on your face as you tried to ease your worried boyfriend’s nerves. Even after a year of dating, he could not get used to the fact that his girlfriend was constantly putting herself in danger. He thought that the fear he held would dissipate slowly over time, but he had found the opposite to be true in fact. As he fell more and more in love with his lovely girlfriend, his anxiety had only increased. He had assured you so many times that you didn’t need to work, that he could support you both financially, but you were a strong, independent woman who not only desired to provide for yourself, but were someone who also genuinely enjoyed your job and the positive impact that you had the potential to make in your community. As a result, despite his many attempts to get you to reconsider, you remained resolute and Tom had slowly come to accept that and support you, no matter how much it worried him.

“I know,” he sighed. “I just worry.”

“I promise to be extra careful and I’ll call you as soon as my shift is over and we can have a movie/dinner date over Skype. How does that sound?” You asked, already looking forward to getting off work and spending the evening with your boyfriend.

“That sounds perfect, love,” he agrees before his eyes darted off to something you couldn’t see, but knowing it was someone from the set calling him back to work. “I gotta get going, but I will definitely be looking forward to tonight! I love you so much, Y/N. Be safe!”

“I love you too, Tom, I’ll talk to you soon! Good luck filming!” You exclaimed before exchanging quick goodbye’s and hanging up the call, grabbing the rest of your belongings and making your way to work, anxiously anticipating the moment you can come back home and relax with your beloved boyfriend, even if it was only through Skype.

***

About eight hours later, your shift was quickly coming to an end as you counted down the minutes anxiously. Over all, it had been a pretty slow day, something you had been very grateful for. Although you did enjoy the fast-paced work days that were filled with action and excitement, you enjoyed the slower shifts as well that allowed you to relax and let your guard down a little bit.

However, it all seemed like that was coming to an end when you and your partner received a call about a local convenience store being robbed at gunpoint. Quickly, your partner, Smith, flipped a quick U-turn, siren blaring as you responded through the walkie system that you were in route.

As soon as you arrived outside of the store, you and your partner jumped out of the car, guns in hand, alert and ready for anything coming your way, your extensive training and years of experiencing running through your mind and guiding your actions.

After making your presence known to the assailant inside and calling for a peaceful surrender, you tensed and raised your gun as the man stepped outside of the store; not peacefully however, but with a young woman in hand, gun pressed against her temple.

“Let her go,” Smith demanded from his position to your left, eyes fixed on the man in front of you. “And put down your weapon!”

A cruel smile appeared on the man’s face, sending a sinking feeling through your gut. And before you could even properly react, the woman was thrown to the ground and the gun in his hand now found its way pointed directly at you. Before you could dive to the side or fire your own weapon in defense, you heard a loud shot and felt a burning sensation spread through your chest. Looking down in shock, you noticed the growing red stain on your uniform slowly spreading as you continued to lose blood. Dropping your gun, you fell to your knees, clutching at the wound as you desperately tried to force air in and out of your lungs. However, it didn’t feel like it was working no matter how much you gasped for breath. Your vision started to blur and your voice gurgled and choked as you tried to call for help. Panic surged through you as you felt consciousness slowly slipping away from you. Not like this, you sobbed. You couldn’t go out like this.

Tom’s face appeared in your mind as you fought to remain conscious, refusing to stop fighting. You couldn’t do this to Tom. You downright refused. The two of you had spent hours upon hours planning and dreaming of the life you would have together and you would be damned if you missed out on that simply because of this man who had decided to go out and rob a convenience store and bring you down with him.

However, despite your will, the pain and blood loss were slowly winning out and with the thought of Tom still in your mind, the last thing you saw was your partner rushing toward you and catching you in his arms before you could fall face first onto the asphalt.

***

Tom paced in his trailer at the end of the day, anxiously running his hands through his hair as he dialed your phone number once again. It wasn’t like you not to answer his call, but he tried to reassure himself that you had fallen asleep or your phone had died to prevent his mind from wandering down the rabbit-hole of horrifying possibilities. However, he found this nearly impossible to do as your shift had officially ended over an hour ago and yet he hadn’t heard so much as a word from you. This was so unlike you and he was terrified out of his mind despite his best efforts to calm himself. He was at his wits end and didn’t know who to call or how to even attempt to get in contact with you a part from calling the phone that you had not been answering for the past hour.

However, before he could contemplate any further, his phone began to ring. Without checking the caller I.D., he immediately accepted and brought the phone to his ear. “Y/N!” He exclaimed, his worry evident in the tone of his voice.

“Uh, no, I’m afraid not,” a male voice apologized hesitantly, crushing Tom’s hopes instantly. “Is this Tom Holland?” The voice questioned.

“Yes?” Tom replied. “May I ask who’s calling?”

“This is Officer Smith,” the voice explained, identifying himself as your partner and immediately, Tom knew that something had happened. There was no way that your partner would be calling him unless something very bad had happened.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, anxiety coursing through him as he tried to control his breathing and keep his thoughts from straying to the worst-case scenario: that you had passed away in the line of duty. Quickly, he shook that thought off, telling himself that you were okay as he pressed his eyes tightly together, willing it to be true. “Is Y/N okay?”

There was a slight pause on the other end of the line as the officer attempted to explain what had happened. “Um, there was an incident,” he began slowly. “Y/N and I were responding to an armed robber toward the end of our shift. During the confrontation, Y/N did sustain a gunshot injury to the chest and -“

After hearing those words, Tom’s legs gave out and he fell to the ground, tears welling up in his eyes and falling freely down his face, unable to believe the news that he was hearing. You couldn’t be hurt. You just couldn’t be. He was vaguely aware of the officer’s voice continuing on but he was unable to register anything past Y/Nand gunshot injury.

“Tom?” The voice on the other end of the line questioned. “Are you still there? Did you get that?”

Tom inhaled a shaky breath. “What was that last part?” He whispered, voice breaking.

“She’s going to pull through,” Smith explained. “She suffered a collapsed lung, but we were able to get her to the hospital and into surgery in time. She just got out of the O.R. a few minutes ago and the surgeon said she made it through and should recover with some rest and extensive therapy. But, Tom, she’s going to be okay,” he reassured again, knowing that Tom desperately needed to know and understand that.

“Oh, thank God,” Tom sobbed, his head falling down to rest on his knees, a sob tearing through his throat. You weren’t in great shape, not by a long shot. The thought of you getting shot, suffering from a collapsed lung, and having to undergo emergency surgery terrified him, but at least you were alive. As long as you were still breathing, he could deal with the rest. It wouldn’t be easy and despite the assurance that you would be fine, terror still gripped his heart as he imagined you lying alone and injured in a cold, unfamiliar hospital room.

“What hospital are you at?” He demanded as his mind slightly cleared enough to focus on one thought: getting to you as soon as possible.

Your partner relayed the name of the hospital and the room number to him, assuring Tom that he had plenty of time to get there. You were still sedated from the surgery and were expected to remain that way for many, many more hours. However, Tom didn’t care, only knowing that he needed to see you and hold you in his arms immediately.

Thanking Smith, and promising to be there soon, he hung up before making the necessary arrangements to go see you. And shortly after, Tom made his way to the airport, hastily packed bag in hand and with the reassurance from the director of his new film that it was totally fine if he left for a few days to care for you and ensure you were alright.

Just hold on, love, I’m coming, he thought to himself as he boarded the plane, counting down the seconds until he could be in your presence and see for himself that you were fine. Because until that moment happened, the blinding fear and terror would continue to grip his heart at the thought of losing you.

***

As you slowly began to become more aware of the world around you, you were able to register a few things, such as the steady, rhythmic beeping that was sounding off from nearby as well as a hand tightly gripping your own.

Slowly, you opened your eyes, blinking as you adjusted to the bright light of what you recognized as a standard hospital room. Brows furrowing in confusion, you attempted to recall what had happened in order to land you a bed in the hospital.

However, before your mind could wander down that pathway any further, a small, broken voice breathed out your name, drawing your eyes up and toward the face of your boyfriend.

“You’re awake,” he stuttered, relief evident in his voice as his hand gripped your own harder and his reddened, teary eyes bored into yours.

“Tom?” You questioned, confused. Last you remembered, Tom had been on the other side of the country, filming in Florida. How long had you been out? “Wh-what happened?” You stammered as flashes of memory slowly materialized in your mind.

Tom slid a hand up to cup your cheek gently. “You were shot, love,” he stated, voice cracking. “There was an armed robber at a convenience store and the man fired at you to create a distraction. Fortunately, there were other officers on their way to help and they apprehended him, but not until after the damage had already been done to you,” he explained, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear lovingly.

“Am I going to be ok?” You questioned, mind whirring as the events that had transpired began to come back to you.

Tom leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your temple before pulling away slightly and looking into your scared eyes. “You’re going to be just fine, love,” he reassured. “You had a collapsed lung and you had to have surgery. You have a long road of recovery ahead, but you’ll be good as new in no time,” he smiled, bringing his other hand up to your face as well and pressing gentle kisses on your nose and cheeks.

“How long have I been here?” You asked as you watched Tom’s reaction closely, trying to gauge where he was at emotionally with all this.

“Only for about a day and a half,” he stated. “As soon as I heard what happened, I jumped on a plane to come see you and I’ve been here for about eight or so hours now.”

Tears began to fill your eyes and fall down your face as guilt consumed you, not even wanting to imagine what Tom had had to endure when he received the phone call that you had been hurt. Just the thought of your roles being reversed and you receiving the news that Tom had been hurt sent a bolt of horror down your spine.

“Shh, shh, shh,” Tom soothed, combing his fingers through your hair, knowing that this was something that always relaxed you. “You’re going to be just fine,” he promised, misunderstanding the cause of your tears.

“I’m not worried about me!” You sobbed. “I feel so guilty!” You exclaimed, tears falling harder and faster down your face as Tom’s concerned features swam before your eyes. “I can’t even imagine what you were feeling, Tom! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry that I put you through that!”

“C’mere,” Tom murmured as understanding washed through him. It never ceased to amaze him how selfless you were. Here you were, lying in the hospital after having been shot, but instead you were focusing on how hearing this news must have affected him. You truly did astound him.

Climbing into the hospital bed with you, Tom was careful not to jostle you too much or to get in the way of the tubes and wires attached to you as he wrapped you in his arms and pressed your face into the crook of his neck. “It’s ok, love, don’t cry,” he soothed, hand rubbing your back softly as he held you in his arms. “Yes, receiving that phone call was probably the single most terrifying moment of my life, but you don’t need to feel guilty. It’s not your fault,” he promised. “I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. It’s just a hazard of the job, but let’s just be grateful that things weren’t any worse, ok?”

You nodded, sniffling as the tears slowly began to cease. “I love you so much, Tommy,” you murmured into his chest, holding onto him as tightly as you could. “The thought of being apart from you completely petrifies me. When I felt myself losing consciousness, all I could think about was you,” you explained, causing his breath to hitch, but you continued on, knowing you needed to get this off your chest. “I didn’t want to leave you, I couldn’t. Just the mere thought of it hurt too much.”

Tom began to shake underneath you as the sobs wracked his body at your admission. You held onto him tighter as you switched roles and began comforting him, allowing him to get out all the pent-up emotions that he had been harboring since he arrived in your hospital room.

“I’m so glad you’re alright, Y/N,” he wept. “I don’t know what I would do without you, I love you so, so much,” he cried.

Softly, you lifted his chin up with your finger so that he could look you in the eye. “You’ll never have to find out,” you swore. “I’m never going to leave you. No matter what happens, no matter what dangerous situations I find myself in, I am always going to fight to come back to you. I’m not gonna let anyone or anything keep us apart, understand?” You asked, eyes blazing with determination.

Tom smiled, chuckling slightly at your stubbornness. “I understand, love.”

“Good,” you nodded. “Now kiss me! It’s been much too long since I’ve seen you and I don’t care if I have stinky hospital breath, I need to kiss you right now!”

Tom laughed, his shoulders lifting slightly as you giggled and he finally allowed himself to breathe and trust that you were truly going to be ok.

“As you wish, love,” he murmured, hands cupping your face gently and bringing you into a tender kiss, pouring all his love, relief, and devotion to you in that one simple action. After a few moments, he slowly pulled away, peppering kisses all over your face, eliciting laughter from you and a grin from him before enfolding you back into his arms, the both of you resting in the others presence, grateful to have found such a love as the one you and Tom shared and to have the other resting safe and soundly in each other’s arms. And you both knew that no matter what obstacles life threw your way, you would always fight tooth and nail to return back to this place, secure in each other’s arms.

[loki-fanfic-whore]

They Call Me Medic ch.7

warnings- adult situations, smutty talk

@drakesfiance @tarithenurse @kimanne723 

Chapter 7 Twilight

Nathan Stult PoV I sat in the chair next to her bed. The machines buzzing and whirring. She had been unconscious for two weeks now and I knew boss was losing his mind. The man who had shot her had been captured and tortured before he was destroyed. The only clues he gave were through his tattoos. The bastard belonged to the same cult of men who had kidnapped Alice. I felt my stomach growl intensely as I watched her machines breathe for her. In my hands sat her chart. I knew everything about her, but this...this was a whole new ball game. Alesana Nickols was a twenty-five-year-old born in mid-July....she was a German American born in Wartburg Germany but ultimately moving to Florida at the age of two. She had four tattoos spanning her body. Her blood type was O- Making her a universal donor. She was 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighed about 190 pounds. She was thick but not obese looking. Her weight spanned well between her breasts and hips. The bullet went straight through her, it skimmed her esophagus and trachea which caused her to begin to aspirate blood. Fourteen hours of surgery and five transfusions later, laid the unconscious miracle. I felt a smile grace my lips as I leaned forward and gently took her hand. "Welcome to the family Ally." I whispered. The machines continued to whirr but I could see her heartrate rising dangerously. I hit the call button for a nurse. A little blonde Sheila walked in and immediately looked at me confused. "You called for a nurse?" She spoke curtly. "Aye. Her heartrate is high." I spoke nonchalantly and sat forward. A gagging sputtering noise filled the awkward silence as the nurse moved forward to examine Alesana. "What is it?" I asked standing and pulling my phone out. "Her lungs are beginning to work by themselves. I need to remove her intubation tubing." The nurse donned gloves and began turning off certain monitors before unhooking the tubing invading her face. She gently pulled as a surprising length of tubing pulled out of Alesanas’ throat. The gurgling stopped and the heartrate monitor returned to normal. Boss would want to know. I sent him a quick text. --------------------- Loki PoV I was damn near laying in the bed with her reading our favorite book. Her soft blonde hair, sticky with sweat, pressed under my chin. Alice was doing incredibly well and would be released soon. I had a guard stationed with her ever since the attack. Her tubing had decreased until the I.V line was all that was left. She sat comfortably against my chest reading aloud to me in her soft voice, but my mind was wandering again. I shifted behind her as I felt my phone vibrate and pulled it from my pocket. 'Your Medic is gonna’ wake soon. They pulled her tubing.' Was all it said. A small smile played across my lips. 'I'll be up soon to visit.' Short and to the point. I squeezed Alice against me and kissed her temple. "My little Dandelion, I have to go soon...the angel is about to wake up and I need to be there." I moved her from my lap and stood. She fidgeted restlessly. "When can I meet her daddy?" She asked looking up at me with her doe eyes. My heart melted, she was the only person who could have that effect on me, and she fucking knew it.

"Soon my darling...let her wake first." I spoke gently laying her back and tucking her in. I kissed her forehead before grabbing my coat and leaving. I slid her door shut and walked to the elevator. Stult greeted me at the door before dashing off for his much-deserved break. I sat on the edge of the bed beside her hip and gently took her limp hand in one of mine. "You and I have had many talks in the past few days...most of them one sided, but nonetheless I feel as though I am indebted to you for taking the bullet for Alice....I want to offer you a job..." my voice trailed off as I heard the heart monitor spike. A thin sheen of sweat had broken out on her forehead. I watched intently as she seemed to be fighting her own demons. A whimper escaped her barely parted lips, and I felt a small twinge in my icey heart.

"Wake up Alesana...you are having a nightmare..." I coaxed gently down at her, the only response was yet another whimper...whatever battle she was fighting in her sedation, she was losing to it.

"Alesana...you need to wake up...hell isn't so bad, I promise." I found myself teasing this unconscious woman and chided myself silently. I leaned down to where my face was right beside her ear and whispered gently.

"Alesana, I need you to wake up now...you are much too beautiful to wither away in a bed." I spoke softly letting my breath fan her ear and neck. Goosebumps erupted down her body as a barely audible moan escaped her. A smirk played its way across my face as I continued to whisper into her ear for well over an hour. I couldn't tell if she was closer to waking up, but I do know her nightmare had been changed into a wet dream from my whispers and promises in her ear. I stood and readjusted the obvious and painful erection in my pants. She was shivering gently and still coated in a thin layer of sweat. She would orgasm in her comatose state soon, and I didn't need to be there for that. I texted Stult break time was over and he returned to his post like the good right hand he was. He took one look at her then to me and just averted his gaze. I smirked again as I called my driver and retired home for the evening.

I spent much of the night pleasuring myself to the images of her body wracked in pleasure for me. I was bewitched by this angelic medic, and yet she didn't even know who I truly was...yes...my hell wasn't so bad after all...

[achronologyofbits]

GOTY 2019

I wanted to write a personal Game of the Year list, but I realized I really didn’t play that many games that were new in 2019. So I’m ranking them, but it’s less a “top 10” and more a “10 games I played and how I felt about them.”  

10. Kingdom Hearts III

Kingdom Hearts III plays like a game from 2005.

I’m not sure I can fully articulate what I mean by that. Maybe I mean its combat is largely simplistic and button-mashy. Maybe I mean its rhythms of level traversal and cutscene exposition dumps are archaic and outdated. Maybe feeling like this game is a relic from another time is unavoidable, given how many years have passed since its first series entry.  

But there’s also something joyful and celebratory about it all — something kind of refreshing about a work that knows only a tiny portion of its players will understand all its references and lore and world-building, and just doesn’t care.

Despite all the mockery and memery surrounding its fiction, Kingdom Hearts’ strongest storytelling moments are actually pretty simple. They’re about the struggle to exist, to belong, and to define what those things mean for yourself. I think that’s why the series reaches the people it does.

Those moments make Kingdom Hearts III worth defending, if not worth recommending.

9. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

Admittedly, I only played about 10-15 hours of this in 2019. Perhaps fittingly, that’s about the amount of time I originally spent on Dark Souls when it released in 2011. I bounced off, hard, because I didn’t understand what it was asking of me. Once I did — though, it has to be said, I needed other people to explain those expectations to me, because the game sure as hell didn’t — Dark Souls became an all-time favorite. And I’ve played every FromSoft game since then, and enjoyed them all. Until Sekiro.

Part of it is, again, down to expectation. Dark Souls trained its players on a certain style of combat: cautious movements, careful attention to spacing, committing to weighty attacks, waiting for counterattacks. In every game since then, FromSoft have iterated on those expectations in the same direction in an attempt to encourage players to be less cautious and more aggressive. The series moved from tank-heavy play in Dark Souls, to dual-wielding in DS2, to weapon arts and reworking poise in DS3, to the system of regaining health by attacking in Bloodborne.

In some ways, Sekiro is a natural continuation of this trend toward aggression, but in others, it’s a complete U-turn. Bloodborne eschewed blocking and prioritized dodging as the quickest, most effective defensive option. Sekiro does exactly the opposite. Blocking is always your first choice, parrying is essential instead of largely optional, and dodging is near useless except in special cases. FromSoft spent five games teaching me my habits, and it was just too hard for me to break them for Sekiro.

I have other issues, too — health/damage upgrades are gated behind boss fights, so grinding is pointless; the setting and story lack some of the creativity of the game’s predecessors; there’s no variety of builds or playstyles — but the FromSoft magic is still there, too. Nothing can match the feeling of beating a Souls-series boss. And the addition of a grappling hook makes the verticality of Sekiro’s level design fascinating.

I dunno. I feel like there’s more here I’d enjoy, if I ever manage to push through the barriers. Maybe — as I finally did with the first Dark Souls, over a year after its release — someday I will.

8. Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

In December, my wife and I traveled to Newport Beach for a family wedding, and we stayed an extra day to visit Disneyland. As an early birthday present, Aubrey bought me the experience of building a lightsaber in Galaxy’s Edge. And the experience is definitely what you’re paying for; the lightsaber itself is cool, but it’s cool because it’s made from parts I selected, with a blade color I chose, and I got to riff and banter with in-character park employees while doing it. (“Can you actually read those?” one asked me in an awed voice, when I selected a lightsaber hilt portion adorned with ancient Jedi runes. “Not yet,” I told her. “We’ll see if the Force can teach me.”)

Maybe it’s because I just had that experience, but by far my favorite moment in Jedi: Fallen Order is when main character Cal Kestis overcomes his own fears and memories to forge his own lightsaber, using a kyber crystal that calls to him personally. It’s maybe the only part of the game that made me feel like a Jedi, in a way the hours of Souls-inspired lightsaber slashing didn’t.

I think that’s telling. And I think it’s because so much of Fallen Order is derivative of other works, both in the current canon of gaming and of Star Wars. That’s not to say it’s bad — the mélange of Uncharted/Tomb Raider traversal, combat that evokes Souls and God of War, and vaguely Metroid-y power acquisition and exploration mostly works — but it’s just a titch less than the sum of those parts.

Similarly, as a Star Wars story, it feels under-baked. There’s potential in exploring the period immediately after Order 66 and the Jedi purge, but you only see glimpses of that. And I understand the difficulty of telling a story where the characters succeed but in a way that doesn’t affect established canon, but it still seemed like there were a couple of missed opportunities at touching base with the larger Star Wars universe. (And the one big reference that does pop up at the end feels forced and unrealistic.)

When I got home from California, I took my lightsaber apart just to see how it all worked. Outside of the hushed tones and glowing lights of Savi’s Workshop, it seems a little less special. It’s still really cool…but I sort of wish I had had a wider variety of parts to choose from. And that I had bought some of the other crystal colors. Just in case.

That’s how I feel about Jedi: Fallen Order. I had fun with it. But it’s easier now to see the parts for what they are.

7. Untitled Goose Game

Aubrey and I first saw this game at PAX, at a booth which charmingly recreated the garden of the game’s first level. We were instantly smitten, and as I’ve introduced it to family and friends, they’ve all had the same reaction. When we visited my brother’s family in Florida over the holidays, my eight-year-old niece and nephew peppered me with questions about some of the more complex puzzles. Even my father, whose gaming experience basically topped out at NES Open Tournament Golf in 1991, gave it a shot.

I’m not sure I have a lot more to say here, other than a few bullet points:

1) I love that Untitled Goose Game is completely nonviolent. It would’ve been easy to add a “peck” option as another gameplay verb, another means of mischief. (And, from what I understand, it would be entirely appropriate, given the aggression of actual geese.) That the developers resisted this is refreshing.

2) I’m glad a game this size can have such a wide reach, and that it doesn’t have to be a platform exclusive.

3) Honk.

6. Tetris 99

Despite the number of hours I’ve spent playing games, and the variety of genres that time has spanned, I’m not much for competitive gaming. This is partially because the competitive aspect of my personality has waned with age, and partially because I am extremely bad at most multiplayer games.

The one exception to this is Tetris.

I am a Tetris GOD.

Of course, that’s an incredible overstatement. Now that I’ve seen real Ecstasy of Order, Grandmaster-level Tetris players, I realize how mediocre I am. But in my real, actual life, I have never found anyone near my skill level. In high school, I would bring two Game Boys, two copies of Tetris, and a link cable on long bus rides to marching band competitions, hoping to find willing challengers. The Game Boys themselves became very popular. Playing me did not.

Prior to Tetris 99, the only version of the game that gave me any shred of humility in a competitive sense was Tetris DS, where Japanese players I found online routinely handed me my ass. I held my own, too, but that was the first time in my life when I wasn’t light-years beyond any opponent.

As time passed and internet gaming and culture became more accessible, I soon realized I was nowhere near the true best Tetris players in the world. Which was okay by me. I’m happy to be a big fish in a small pond, in pretty much all aspects of my life.

Tetris 99 has given me a perfectly sized pond. I feel like I’m a favorite to win every round I play, and I usually finish in the top 10 or higher. But it’s also always a challenge, because there��s just enough metagame to navigate. Have I targeted the right enemies? Do I have enough badges to make my Tetrises hit harder? Can I stay below the radar for long enough? These aspects go beyond and combine with the fundamental piece-dropping in a way I absolutely love.

The one thing I haven’t done yet is win an Invictus match (a mode reserved only for those who have won a standard 99-player match). But it’s only a matter of time.  

5. Pokemon Sword/Shield

I don’t think I’ve played a Pokemon game through to completion since the originals. I always buy them, but I always seem to lose steam halfway through. But I finished Shield over the holidays, and I had a blast doing it.

Because I’m a mostly casual Pokeplayer, the decision to not include every ‘mon in series history didn’t bother me at all. I really enjoyed learning about new Pokemon and forcing myself to try moving away from my usual standards. (Although I did still use a Gyarados in my final team.)

As a fan of English soccer, the stadium-centric, British-flavored setting also contributed to my desire to see the game through. Changing into my uniform and walking onto a huge, grassy pitch, with tens of thousands of cheering fans looking on, really did give me a different feeling than battles in past games, which always seemed to be in weird, isolated settings.

I’m not sure I’ll push too far into the postgame; I’ve never felt the need to catch ‘em all. But I had a great time with the ones I caught.

4. The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening

I have a strange relationship with the Zelda series, especially now. They are my wife’s favorite games of all time. But I don’t know if I’ve ever actually sat down and beaten one since the original Link’s Awakening. Even with Breath of the Wild, which I adore, I was content to watch Aubrey do the heavy lifting. I know the series well, I’ve played bits of all of them, but most haven’t stuck with me.

Link’s Awakening has. I wrote a piece once about its existential storytelling and how it affected me as a child. I love the way the graphics in this remake preserve that dreamlike quality. It’s pretty much a re-skin of the original game, but the cutesy, toy-set aesthetic pairs well with the heavy material. If this is all a dream, whose dream is it? And when we wake up, what happens to it?

Truthfully, some of the puzzles and design decisions haven’t held up super well. Despite the fresh coat of paint, it definitely feels like a 25-year-old game. But I’m so glad this version exists.

Oh, and that solo clarinet in the Mabe Village theme? *Chef’s kiss*

3. Control

I actually haven’t seen a lot of the influences Control wears on its sleeve. I’ve never gone completely through all the episodes of the X-Files, Fringe, and Twin Peaks; I’m only vaguely familiar with the series of “creepypasta” fiction called SCP Foundation; and I have never endeavored to sit through a broadcast of Coast to Coast AM. I’m also unfamiliar with Remedy’s best-known work in the genre, Alan Wake. But I know enough about all those works to be able to identify their inspiration on the Federal Bureau of Control, Jesse Faden, and the Oldest House.

Control is an interesting game to recommend (which I do), because I’m not sure how much I really enjoyed its combat. For most of the game, it’s a pretty standard third-person shooter. You can’t snap to cover, which indicates you’re intended to stay on the move. This becomes even more obvious when you gain the ability to air dash and fly. But you do need to use cover, because Jesse doesn’t have much health even at the end of the game. So combat encounters can get out of hand quickly, and there’s little incentive to keep fighting enemies in the late game. Yet they respawn at a frustratingly frequent rate. The game’s checkpointing system compounds this — you only respawn at “control points,” which act like Souls-style bonfires. This leads to some unfortunately tedious runbacks after boss fights.

On the other hand, Jesse’s telekinesis power always feels fantastic, and varying your attacks between gunshots, thrown objects, melee, and mind controlling enemies can be frenetic fun. That all comes to a head in the game’s combat (and perhaps aesthetic?) high point, the Ashtray Maze. To say more would be doing a disservice. It’s awesome.

The rest of the gameplay is awesome, too — and I do call it “gameplay,” though unfortunately you don’t have many options for affecting the world beyond violence. The act of exploring the Oldest House and scouring it for bureaucratic case files, audio recordings, and those unbelievably creepy “Threshold Kids” videos is pure joy. The way the case files are redacted leaves just enough to the imagination, and the idea of a federal facility being built on top of and absorbed into a sort of nexus of interdimensional weirdness is perfectly executed. And what’s up with that motel? And the alien, all-seeing, vaguely sinister Board? So cool.

With such great worldbuilding, I did wish for a little more player agency. There are no real dialogue choices — no way to imbue Jesse with any character traits beyond what’s pre-written for her — and only one ending. This kind of unchecked weird science is the perfect environment for forcing the player into difficult decisions (what do we study? How far is too far? How do we keep it all secret?), and that just isn’t part of the game at all. Which is fine — Control isn’t quite an immersive sim like Prey, and it’s not trying to be. I just see some similarities and potential, and I wish they had been explored a little.

But Control’s still a fantastic experience, and in any other year, it probably would’ve been my number one pick. That’s how good these next two games are.

2. Outer Wilds

Honestly, this is the best game of 2019. But I’m not listing it as number one because I didn’t play most of it — Aubrey did. Usually we play everything together; even if we’re not passing a controller back and forth, one of us will watch while the other one plays. And that definitely happened for a large chunk of Outer Wilds. But Aubrey did make some key discoveries while I was otherwise occupied, so while I think it’s probably the best game, it’s not the one I personally spent the most time with.

The time I did spend, though? Wow. From the moment you wake up at the campfire and set off in search of your spaceship launch codes, it’s clear that this is a game that revels in discovery. Discovery for its own sake, for the furthering of knowledge, for the protection of others, for the sheer fun of it. Some games actively discourage players from asking the question, “Hey, what’s that over there?” Outer Wilds begs you to ask it, and then rewards you not with treasure or statistical growth, but with the opportunity to ask again, about something even more wondrous and significant.

There are so many memorable moments of discovery in this game. The discovery that, hey, does that sun look redder to you than it used to? The discovery that, whoa, why did I wake up where I started after seemingly dying in space? Your first trip through a black hole. Your first trip to the quantum moon. Your first trip to the weird, bigger-on-the-inside fog-filled heart of a certain dark, brambly place. (Aubrey won’t forget that any time soon.)

They take effort, those moments. They do have to be earned, and it isn’t easy. Your spaceship flies like it looks: sketchy, taped together, powered by ingenuity and, like, marshmallows, probably. Some of the leaps you have to make — both of intuition and of jetpack — are a little too far. (We weren’t too proud to look up a couple hints when we were truly stuck.) But in the tradition of the best adventure games (which is what this is, at heart), you have everything you need right from the beginning. All you have to do is gather the knowledge to understand it and put it into action.

And beyond those moments of logical and graphical discovery, there’s real emotion and pathos, too. As you explore the remnants of the lost civilization that preceded yours, your only method of communication is reading their writing. And as you do, you start to get a picture of them not just as individuals (who fight, flirt, and work together to help each other), but as a species whose boundless thirst for discovery was their greatest asset, highest priority, undoing, and salvation, all at once.

I don’t think I can say much more without delving into spoilers, or retreading ground others have covered. (Go read Austin Walker’s beautiful and insightful review for more.) It’s an incredible game, and one everyone with even a passing interest in the medium should try.

(Last thing: Yes, I manually flew to the Sun Station and got inside. No, I don’t recommend it.)

1. Fire Emblem: Three Houses

If I hadn’t just started a replay of this game, I don’t think I’d be listing it in the number one slot. I started a replay because I showed it to my brother when we visited him in Florida last month, and immediately, all the old feelings came flooding back. I needed another hit.

No game this year has been as compelling for me. That’s an overused word in entertainment criticism, but I mean it literally: There have been nights where I absolutely HAVE to keep playing (much to Aubrey’s dismay). One more week of in-game time. One more study session to raise a skill rank. One more meal together so I can recruit another student. One more battle. Just a little longer.

I’m not sure I can put my finger on the source of that compulsion. Part of it is the excellence of craftsmanship on display; if any technical or creative aspect of Three Houses was less polished than it is, I probably wouldn’t feel so drawn to it. But the two big answers, I think, are the characters and their growth, both mechanically and narratively.

At the start of the game, you pick one of the titular three houses to oversee as professor. While this choice defines who you’ll have in your starting party, that can be mitigated later, as almost every other student from the other two houses can be recruited to join yours. What you’re really choosing is which perspective you’ll see the events of the story from, and through whose eyes: Edelgard of the Black Eagles, Dimitri of the Blue Lions, or Claude of the Golden Deer. (This is also why the game almost demands at least three playthroughs.)

These three narratives are deftly written so you simultaneously feel like you made the only possible canonical choice, while also sowing questions into your decision-making. Edelgard’s furious desire for change is just but perhaps not justifiable; Dimitri hides an obsession with revenge behind a façade of noblesse oblige; Claude is more conniving and pragmatic than he lets on. No matter who you side with, you’ll eventually have to face the others. And everyone can make a case that they, not you, are on the right side.

This is especially effective because almost every character in Three Houses is dealing with a legacy of war and violence. A big theme of the game’s story is how those experiences inform and influence the actions of the victims. What steps are justified to counteract such suffering? How do you break the cycle if you can’t break the power structures that perpetuate it? How do good people end up fighting for bad causes?

While you and your child soldiers (yeah, you do kind of have to just skip over that part; they’re in their late teens, at least? Still not good enough, but could be worse?) are grappling with these questions, they’re also growing in combat strength, at your direction. This is the part that really grabbed me and my lizard brain — watching those numbers get bigger was unbelievably gratifying. Each character class has certain skill requirement prerequisites, and as professor, you get to define how your students meet those requirements, and which they focus on. Each student has certain innate skills, but they also have hidden interests that only come to the surface with guidance. A character who seems a shoo-in to serve as a white mage might secretly make an incredibly effective knight; someone who seems destined for a life as a swordsman suddenly shows a talent for black magic. You can lean into their predilections, or go against them, with almost equal efficacy.

For me, this was the best part of Three Houses, and the part that kept me up long after my wife had gone to bed. Planning a student’s final battle role takes far-seeing planning and preparation, and each step along the way felt thrilling. How can you not forge a connection with characters you’ve taken such pains to help along the way? How can you not explode with joy when they reach their goals?

That’s the real draw of Fire Emblem: Three Houses, I think: the joy of seeing people you care about grow, while simultaneously confronting those you once cared about, but who followed another path. No wonder I wanted to start another playthrough. I think I’ll be starting them all over again for a long time.