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blackleatherjacketz · 1 year ago

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The Notebook

Javier Peña x Female Reader

Summary: Your coworker, Javier, finds some of your erotic writings in your notebook and takes a very special interest in them.

Warnings: 18+ Only!, Explicit Smut, Mature Content, Humiliation Kink, Invasion of Privacy, Javier invading your personal space, Dracula Fan Fiction, Stealing, Teasing, Taunting, Alcohol, Kissing, Writing Kink, Javier wanting you to talk him through it, Vaginal Fingering, Finger Sucking, Face Grabbing, Neck Kissing, Neck Sucking/Biting, Vaginal Sex, Woman On Top, Orgasm Delay

Word Count: 3.6k+

Notes: This may or may not be inspired by true events.

Tags: @bullet-prooflove @skittle479 @letsby

This day has dragged on long enough, your office’s efforts in catching Escobar sluggish at best as Peña paces around the busy office with his hands on his hips. His stance accentuates the muscles in his back as they flex in aggravated tension through his dress shirt, his rugged features twisting with worry as he slowly turns to face you.

“You got anything?” He asks, waltzing over to your desk. “Any random phone calls or photographs we might have overlooked?” He gives you a glance reminiscent of the one he shot you at last year’s Christmas party, one that sent shivers down your spine then and is well on its way to doing so now.

“Nothing I haven’t already shown you.” You shrug your shoulders as you watch him saunter around your desk, running his thumb and forefinger over his mustache before planting himself proudly onto a stack of your papers.

You’d seen him do this to Murphy dozens of times before, but he’d never had the audacity to do it to you until now. He’d never gotten close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off his body, hear the rhythm of his breathing or feel the roughened texture of his pants as his thigh brushes against your elbow. The scent of smoke and whiskey surrounds you as your heart begins to flutter in response, making you well aware of the attraction you’ve been trying to hide for months now as he leans in close to see what you’ve been writing.

“Wait, what does that say?” He leans in closer to get a better look before placing his hand on top of yours, grazing his index finger over your hurried handwriting as your heart skips a beat. “Peña doesn’t believe me?”

He snatches the notebook right out of your hands, standing up to read your most pertinent notes on the case out loud for everyone in the office to hear. He takes his time rifling his way through its weathered pages, picking and choosing phrases he finds to be interesting as his large fingers spread each sheet of paper apart from the next. Those mischievous eyes of his glance up at you in between his redundant narrations until he gets to the very back of the book, a section you’ve always kept to yourself.

“Peña, stop!” You stand up from your seat and lean forward, reaching out to him as he playfully pulls it away just in time. He’s never shown any interest in your notes before. You have no idea what could have changed that now.

“Por qué?” He raises an eyebrow and steps back just far enough to sit down on top of his own desk, the skin around his eyes creasing with intrigue. “Is this your diary or something?”

You shoot him a look that tells him he should know better; a look you hope to be just as threatening as it is pleading while he holds your innermost thoughts and desires hostage. You try your best to avoid telling the entire office what’s inside, but you can’t expect him to know that you’ve written your own erotic version of ‘Dracula’ in the back of the book he holds in his hands.

“Peña, please give it back!” You extend your arm out as far as you can, flexing your fingers toward him as he blatantly ignores your request.

Smiling wide, he enacts your biggest fear by reading your dark and dreary prose aloud, your words rolling off his tongue as if he’d written every one of them himself before reciting them to your peers. He looks up at you occasionally until he gets to a certain part of the story that shouldn’t be uttered in a place of business, let alone out loud at all. All of the sudden he gawks at you from atop his desk, his eyes growing darker as his mouth falls slack, his lips deepening into a vibrant shade of mauve.

Oh God, it’s too late. He’s seen too much.

Sweat begins to form at your temples as he turns the page, a single drop racing down your cheek as a lick of his lips makes you swallow hard before wiping away the evidence of your discomfort. Powerless to stop him, you attempt to busy yourself with whatever paperwork is in front of you, stapling random things together as he continues to read your deepest, darkest thoughts in the light of day. But it’s no use. You can still feel his eyes upon you, the heat radiating off of them practically cooking you from the inside out as everyone else around you moves on, unknowingly going about their business.

His silence remains heavy as his glare only deepens over the aged black leather of your personal ledger. Another page turns, the edge of the paper practically deafening against the hustle and bustle of the room as it scrapes across his calloused fingertips in what seems to be slow motion. You’d been in dozens of high stress scenarios on the job before, but nothing had frozen time or gotten your heart racing quite like this. Nothing had flushed your cheeks or shook your hands like this until he started looking at you like that.

“Hey, you got those financial reports I asked you for?” Murphy interrupts your thoughts by stepping directly into the line of fire.

“Uh, yeah, I uh…” you scramble, looking down at your desk to rid yourself of the unbearable heat of Peña’s eyes. It’s only now that you realize you’ve stapled a takeout menu to your paystub just in time for you to shove it under the rest of your disorganized papers.

“You okay?” Murphy tilts his head as he looks at you, glancing back at Peña before squinting as if to try and figure you out. “You look a little…”

You can see Peña shifting his weight out of the corner of your eye, no doubt getting to the part where Dracula bites the girl on her thigh and starts dining between her legs with a fervor you described in great length. You hold your breath and furtively watch him take in a slow, stifled one to match yours before he looks up at you in an almost… helpless manner. You notice his palm gently grazing over the bulge in his jeans as they gradually tighten around it, the space between his thighs shrinking as he brings them together in muffled frustration.

Is he…? Holy shit, he’s really enjoying himself.

“It’s nothing,” you reassure Murphy, sifting through your messy stack of papers until you find the ones that he’s after. “Women’s troubles, you know.” You wink at him before handing over the documents, knowing full well that was enough to steer him away from you in a heartbeat.

“Say no more!” He holds his hands up in defense before taking the paperwork from you. “I’ll leave you to it! Wouldn’t want to make you mad during that time of the month!”

You sneer at him until he takes the hint and walks away, clasping his hand onto Peña’s shoulder in order to get his attention. He leans in to tell him something inaudible, something about a lead they need to follow up on as Peña swallows hard, nodding to his partner in silence. You watch his Adam’s Apple bob up and down in his throat before he turns to stare at you like a jungle cat would his next meal, closing the book in his hands before shoving it into the hem of his pants for safekeeping.

“I’m gonna need that back before you go,” you remind him, remaining seated as you hold your hand out.

Grinning from ear to ear, he laughs to himself and slaps his knee before standing up from his perch on his desk. He slowly saunters toward you with your book tucked snugly between his hips. “But I haven’t finished it yet.”

“You don’t need to finish it, Peña.” You try to control your breathing as he gets closer to you, every vein in his neck and forearms popping against his skin as the tension between you builds. “Give it back.”

“You want it?” He leans forward and places his palms flat on your desk, bringing his gorgeous face mere inches away from yours.

“Please,” you attempt, your chest heaving.

He licks his lips and takes the pen right out of your hand just as quickly as he had your notebook, writing an address on the closest sticky note before turning it around to face you. “Come by my place later tonight and pick it up.”

————

It took you a while to muster up the courage to actually get in your car and drive over to Peña’s apartment a few hours later. You realized maybe a little too late that if he really wanted to embarrass you, that if he hated whatever you’d written down on those pages that he wouldn’t have taken it home for him to finish later. You tell yourself that if he didn’t at least want you in some capacity after reading that about you, he wouldn’t have invited you over here tonight at all. So, you decide to show up and act confident enough in who you are and what you’ve written, hoping that maybe this night won’t turn out so bad after all.

Just as you expected, he’s all but smirking when he opens the door to his apartment, eyes taking you in as he leans in against the doorframe just a little too long. His tie is nowhere to be found and the first few buttons of his shirt are undone just enough to show the sweat glistening across his muscular chest as it rises and falls with your arrival. “Took you long enough.”

“Where’s my notebook, Peña?” You try not to stare at him for more than a few seconds as he steps back just far enough to grant you entry, his scent intoxicating you once again as he towers over you.

“It’s over there,” he mutters. “And call me Javi.” He points to the coffee table with a nearly empty glass of whiskey in his hand. “You want a drink?”

“Sure, Javi.” You try on his first name with a smile, seeing how it feels in your mouth as you make your way over to the sofa, sitting down in front of the messy coffee table. Your notebook lays in the midst of scattered ashtrays and coffee mugs, the edges of it bent a little bit more than you’d like. “I assume you’ve read everything in here, then?”

“A few times, yeah,” he admits, glass clinking behind you before he returns with a full drink in each hand, sitting down next to you.

“I didn’t know you were such a huge Dracula fan,” you tease, forcing yourself to play the part of your confident protagonist as you take your drink from him.

“Neither did I.” He winks at you like he winks at everyone, only this time that salacious glare stays on his features as he lifts the amber liquid to his lips. “You’re a really fucking good writer, you know that?”

“Yeah,” you wink back.

“Humble, too.” He takes a sip of alcohol, nodding toward the infamous notebook as he shifts his weight to disguise the act of scooting even closer to you. “There’s some real sick shit in there, you know that?”

“You seemed to like it just fine.” You remind him with a quick sip, wincing as it washes over your tongue and down into your stomach, warming you to the very core. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t replayed the image of him rubbing his jeans in the middle of the office over again in your head on the drive over here.

He only laughs as you call him out, nodding unapologetically as his breath fogs up the glass around his mustache. “Oh, I’m not complaining.” He sets his drink down on the table before grabbing hold of your knee as if he’d done so a thousand times before, squeezing it affectionately. “You know that.”

You do now.

“Do I?” You let him touch you as you down the rest of your drink, relishing in this moment that you’ve been fantasizing about for far too long as his fingers curl beneath your thigh, tugging it towards him.

“So how long has it been since you’ve done anything like that?” His voice drops an octave as he slowly turns you toward him, the darkness in his eyes engulfing his usual chestnut hue as a strand of hair falls in front of them.

“You mean since I’ve been bitten by a vampire?” You chide, feeling the warmth from your drink spread from your arms and legs out into your fingers and toes.

Now it’s his turn to give you a knowing look.

“A while,” you admit, letting him carefully spread your legs apart as the moisture you so eloquently described in your writings begins to collect between them. “What was your favorite part?”

“All of it.” He holds eye contact with you while his hand grazes up your thigh toward your junction, his fingertips barely sliding beneath the cotton of your underwear before he pauses. “You really experience pleasure like that?”

“Sometimes,” you nod, lifting your leg up onto his lap as he guides it there with his opposite hand. “If I’m lucky.”

He grins and pulls the soft fabric to the side, studying your face as he dips his digits into the moisture between your folds as a hushed moan barely escapes your lips. He brings his mouth just a breath away from yours as he spreads your slick up and down your seam, delicately lubricating your now puffy lips before coating your swollen bud up and down with your arousal.

“What are you feeling now?” He whispers, his question hot on your skin as he excites the neurons in your most sensitive spot.

“What?” You’re barely able to ask, his fingers pushing and pulling against your clit in a torturously slow and pedantic pattern.

“Describe it to me,” he slides his fingers down inside your heat, his thumb pressing against your bud as your walls instinctively squeeze around him. “Describe it like you would in your writing.”

What?

“Mmm…I… you feel… electric,” you start out almost stuttering, still shocked at his unique request as he glides up at the most euphoric angle. “Your fingers are sending little… fuck, Javi!”

“I knew I liked hearing you call me that.” He kisses your lips as you try to find the right words in the moment, to convey the utter bliss he’s sending up into your core as your hips roll against his wrist again and again. But the pleasure he’s giving you is so intense that it blocks out any logical form of thinking, erasing any linguistic mastery you may possess as his bold request remains unfulfilled.

You lift your hand to hold onto his face as you moan against his mouth, tasting the flavor of whiskey you both shared as the hair of his mustache tickles your skin. He moans along with you, your growing euphoria seeming to give him just as much satisfaction as he pushes his fingers in deeper than yours could ever reach. In and out, they nearly brush against your cervix as he continues massaging your bud, exciting each and every nerve ending along your soaking wet walls as they grip around him, clenching in delight. His groans vibrate against your lips as he breathes in your hushed whispers, your failed attempts at any literary description of what he’s doing to your body until it’s finally about to give way.

“Tell me how you taste,” he pulls his fingers out just as you’re about to climax, shoving them into your mouth as you whine in stifled protest.

Your eyes widen as he pushes in past your lips, that zesty flavor settling into your taste buds as you wrap your tongue around his fingers to pinpoint the notes of your juices. He watches you, utterly rapt as you take him in up to his knuckles, your spit all but spilling out of the corners of your mouth before he reluctantly takes them out.

“Well?” He sucks them into his own mouth to get a taste, his eyebrows disappearing into his hairline as he awaits your answer.

“I taste tangy,” you manage to say as you watch him savor the little bit of flavor you’d left for him, his full lips glistening in your sex. “Tart with a little bit of sweetness.”

“Tastes like you were about to come.” He grasps onto your chin, smearing the brink of your orgasm across your face as he brings his lips to your cheek, pressing hungry kisses into your jawline. “Now, what kind of story would that be if I let you come that quickly, huh?”

“I, uh…” you mutter as his lips reach yours, slowing down the synapses in your body with each prolonged kiss as his fingers weave their way into your hairline. “Not a very good one.”

“No, not at all,” he whispers, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth before letting it bounce back into place.

He grabs hold of your hips and pulls you onto his lap as he kisses his way down your face and neck, just as fervently as you’d written in your book. You hiss as his tongue barely softens the blow before his teeth scrape against your flesh, latching onto your throat in order to suck your pulse into his mouth in a delicious twinge of pain. It’s as if he’d memorized every word you’d written down, following the map of intimacy you so blatantly laid out for him as he pays perfect attention to your most erogenous zones. His hands accompany his mouth by needily grazing over the muscles in your back, massaging them on their way down to pull you near before grasping onto your cheeks.

You run your fingers through his hair as his kiss deepens, darkening your bruise with a soft hum that sounds more like a whimper as you grind your soaking wet mound over his clothed erection in urgent desire.

“Don’t think you’re gonna make yourself come like that,” he breaks free from his bite, bringing you out of it with a harsh smack to your ass.

“No?” You ask, wondering just how long you can prolong your release.

He bucks his hips up just enough to slide his thumbs beneath the fabric of his jeans, freeing himself in one fluid motion as his pants rest just below his knees. “I wanna feel it, too.”

Jesus Christ, he’s huge.

He licks his fingers and drags them slowly up your length as you hover over him, smirking as he tugs on your clit one more time before finally stroking himself.

“Tell me how it feels.” He looks up at you and grabs onto your face while coating himself in your sex, your juices already dripping down his shaft and onto his pelvis before you open your mouth to speak.

“My skin’s on fire, Javi, I’m so… aching for you,” you whisper incoherently as you look into his eyes, resisting the temptation to watch him line up with your entrance as he stimulates you with the tip of his cock. “I’m tingling with pleasure, but it’s not enough, I need you inside me.” His girth cuts you off as you slowly sink down onto him, his head already stretching your walls in pulses of ecstasy as they gradually expand around him.

“Good,” he huffs, placing his other hand on your hip as you take him in completely, his eyes instinctively rolling back in his head before he has the chance to look back up at you. “Tell me more, baby.”

“Fuck, you’re big, Javi,” you mumble as the pet name nearly takes you out, your inner walls already quaking around him as he pushes in up to the hilt. His other hand snakes its way across your hip, grabbing onto your ass as he thrusts up into you, his size stretching you out inch by inch as you rise and fall onto him at a desperate, delicious pace. “I’m gonna feel you for days after this,” you mutter, nearly out of breath. “Feel so empty without you.”

“Yeah?” He tightens his grip on your face before turning you on your back, thrusting in even deeper to trigger that cascade of pleasure that can only come from hitting that bundle of nerves he’s been dancing around all night. He grunts as he feels you begin to seize around him, loosening his grip on your face before sliding it down to your throat as he drives those surges of bliss up into your spine, one right after another.

“Javi, you’re making me come!” You whimper, mewling beneath him as he ignites your entire body with a thousand tiny explosions, sparks of euphoria practically shooting out of your fingers and toes as you contract around him like a mad woman.

“Good girl,” he growls before losing himself inside you, too caught up in his own pleasure to demand your verbal description as he slams his hips against your thighs at a violent, erratic pace, straining every muscle in your body as he spasms within the confines of your velvety grasp. “Fuck!”

You wrap your legs around his back as the aftershock courses its way through you, his thrusts barely slowing down as he spills his release inside you with reckless abandon. He looks like a wild animal as he builds onto your pleasure, his eyes blackened with lust as he grunts and growls into you, forcing it to wreak havoc on your system as you rattle and hum uncontrollably. His abs contract as he pushes in deeper with each twitch of his dick, sending you even further over the edge as his eyes fall shut in sheer delight before eventually slowing his rhythm.

“That’s one for the books, huh?” He asks, resting his forehead against yours before kissing your cheek.

#pedro pascal #javier peña #javier peña x you #Javier peña x reader #narcos fanfiction #narcos #javier peña smut

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canirove · 1 year ago

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In The Name of Love | Chapter 3

Author's note: A little clarification about the previous chapter since someone commented it on Wattpad. What happened between Val and Pedri when he visited her was all consensual. In all my stories I always try to make it clear, but sometimes I may not manage to write down what I have in my head or it gets lost in translation. Also, for future chapters. Teasing each other is like their love language, so when they do it, they aren't actually being mean. It's just their way of saying I love you 😁 Hope you enjoy this chapter, and thank you to everyone who has been reading so far! 💜

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"That room over there is my brother's, and those are guest rooms for when my parents or my friends come to stay. But the best room is this one" Pedri smiles. "Not because it is mine, the woman who showed me the house said so."

"Sure" I chuckle.

"She did. Are you ready?"

"Ready."

"Welcome to my room, my lady" he says before opening the door. "I know it is a bit messy, but I didn't want it to make it look perfect because that isn't me, you know? And this weekend I want you to get to know me, not the football star."

"Since when are you a football star?" I ask with a teasing smile.

"Ha ha ha. You are so funny, Val" he says, rolling his eyes.

"I know" I smile. "But I like it. I actually like the whole house. I've seen others this big and modern and they look so cold and empty with just a sofa and a tv in a corner and an untouched kitchen… But yours looks like a place where there are people living. And it's messy, yes. But it is an organized mess."

"I wouldn't have described it better" he laughs. "Do you want to check the view? That's the reason why this room is the best one."

"Please."

"Then after you, my lady" Pedri says, opening the balcony's door.

"Thank you" I giggle. My God, why did I giggle? He just opened a door for me! "Oh, wow" I gasp as I walk outside.

"It is the best, isn't it?"

"It's beautiful" I say as I lean on the railing and look around in awe, the sun setting in front of me.

"It has never looked as beautiful as it does right now, tho."

"Pedri!" I laugh, turning around to look at him.

"It is what it is" he shrugs. He's leaning against the balcony's door frame, his arms crossed over his chest, a soft smile on his lips. He had never looked so… So...Ok , I'm gonna say it. So boyfriend.

"It was cheesy" I giggle again, feeling my cheeks get warmer and warmer and my stomach do funny things while he just looks at me, making me feel as if I'm 15 again and my crush has finally acknowledged me.

Dear lord, he is turning me into a teenager.

"It was the truth" he says before walking towards me, my heart skipping a beat when I feel one of his hands cupping my face, the other on my low back, pulling me closer towards him before kissing me.

But it isn't a kiss like the ones we've shared before. It is soft, gentle, slow. And it is making me melt under his touch, making my body relax and forget about anything else. It's just him and I, his lips on mine, his hands on my body, the feeling of his heart beating against my chest.

And it keeps being like that as he walks me back into the room, when he lays me down on the bed, when he takes off my clothes and leaves kisses all over my body, when I feel him inside me. There is no rush, no need to make it to the end like happened yesterday. It's just us moving at the same rhythm, enjoying every second, every touch, every kiss. And it's perfect.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val, we are gonna be late. What are you doing?"

"I can't find my phone. A moment ago I was texting Silvia and now it's gone."

"If it was under the bed don't you think you would have heard it fall?" Pedri chuckles.

"Maybe? I don't know. Can you call me to see if it's here somewhere?" I say, getting up.

"Val…"

"Wait, no. Don't call me, I have it on vibration. Though that makes noise, so if we are quiet…"

"Val…"

"Or maybe it is in the bathroom? I went there to check if I was leaving something behind and…"

"Valeria!"

"I know you don't want to be late, but there is no need to yell, Pedro."

"Have you checked your pockets?"

"My pockets?"

"On your jeans. Have you checked them?"

"There is nothing there."

"Back pockets" he sighs.

"What… fuck" I say when I feel my phone on one of them.

"It happens to the best of us" he laughs. "Now can we please go?"

"Yes, of course. We don't want Xavi to get mad at you, do we? He may not choose you for the starting eleven and… Do you want to cuddle?"

"What?" Pedri laughs again.

"Come, let's cuddle for a bit" I say, sitting on the bed and extending my arms towards him.

"Val, that's cheating."

"I don't know what you are talking about" I shrug.

"Of course not" he smirks. "Let's go."

"Wait, no… Pedri!" I complain when he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

"You wanted to cuddle, right? This is a new way of doing it" he says, slapping my butt while we leave the room.

"You better not fall down the stairs."

"I wouldn't dare" he replies, this time pinching me, laughing when I try to hit him and miss.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You know where to meet after the game, right?"

"I do, Pedri" I say while checking that I have everything I may need in my purse.

"If you get lost or something…"

"I'll call you, don't worry."

"You better. And are you sure you don't want me to drive you a bit closer to the stadium?"

"I'm sure. I don't want someone recognizing you, taking a photo of us together, and end up all over the internet."

"Neither do I, to be honest" he sighs. "Anyway, before you leave… Can I get a good luck kiss?" he pouts.

"What about one that says I hope you have a good game but that your team loses?" I smile.

"I don't like how that sounds."

"Leave it or take it" I shrug.

"Ok, fine" he sighs. "You merengones are so mean."

"Oh, shut up" I say, grabbing him by his t-shirt and pulling him towards me before kissing him.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I'm telling you that's her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Let's go say hello."

"Ok. But try not to say anything stupid or he'll get mad."

"I won't, Gavi. Relax. Hello!"

"Hi" I say to the two guys walking towards me.

"You are Pedri's friend, right? Valeria."

"Yep."

"I'm Ferran, and this is Gavi. Though you probably already know."

"I recognized Gavi, but you…"

"Bro" Gavi laughs.

"She's messing with you" Pedri says behind them.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Yesterday I made you check everyone's name and photo so you would know who is who during the game."

"It didn't work" I shrug.

"Then do you know who I am or not?" Ferran asks.

"I do, I was just teasing you" I smile. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to finally meet you too!"

"Finally?"

"Our boy here hasn't stopped talking about you since the day he met you" Ferran says, putting his arm around Pedri's shoulders. "I don't blame him, tho."

"He's completely smitten" Gavi chuckles.

"Shut up" Pedri says, getting free of Ferran's grip and moving to stand next to me, his cheeks a bright shade of pink. He's blushing. Cute. Wait, what?

"Oh, don't get mad, Pepi."

"Pepi? What kind of name is that?" I laugh.

"That's how his fans call him" Ferran smiles.

"Why would they call you that? Pedri didn't sound stupid enough?"

"Oh my God" Gavi gasps.

"You weren't joking when you said she's savage" Ferran laughs.

"Yeah, well, whatever. We should get going, Val. You have an early morning tomorrow" Pedri says, trying to end the conversation.

"I actually do, yes" I say, noticing how uncomfortable he is feeling.

"We have to meet another day, then. Maybe for lunch or dinner?" Ferran says.

"Yes, sure" I smile. "It was nice meeting you, guys."

"You too, Val" Ferran says, taking my hand and kissing it, making Pedri roll his eyes before getting inside the car.

"Bye."

"Bye" he and Gavi say at the same time.

"They are nice" I say once I am inside the car.

"And annoying" Pedri mutters.

"Congratulations on that goal, by the way" I say, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Thank you" he replies, finally looking at me. "Did you see that I dedicated it to you?"

"You did?"

"Yep" he smiles. Finally.

"I saw that you did like a peace sign or something."

"It wasn't a peace sign, Val! It was a V! I sent you a kiss and then did a V!"

"Oh…" I say, suddenly feeling my cheeks get warm, not sure if of embarrassment or because of how cute he was by dedicating me his goal.

"I'm sure there are photos already, let me check."

"Won't they close the stadium with us inside or something? I can't sleep at the Camp Nou, I'm already feeling all itchy from the time I've been here."

"Stop complaining" Pedri laughs, his eyes fixed on his phone. "Here. Look. The kiss" he says, showing me a photo. "And the V. My first goal of the season is for you" he smiles.

"Thank you" I reply, blushing again. And this time it definitely is because of how cute he is. Because he is cute. Admit it, Valeria. "No one had ever dedicated me a goal before."

"Well, this will be the first of many."

"Just promise me one of those future goals won't be against Real Madrid."

"I'll try" he laughs. "And I think I'm gonna post these photos on Instagram. What do you think?"

"You are smiling, I like them."

"Do you like my smile?" he asks, arching one of those perfect eyebrows of his.

"It's ok" I shrug, my face now burning. Thank God he isn't able to notice because of how dark the parking is.

"Just ok, sure" Pedri chuckles while typing on his phone.

"Do you run it yourself? Your Instagram account, I mean."

"I do. I've been offered to have someone do it for me, but I like doing it myself."

"Because that way you can manage better your dms with the teenagers?" I tease him.

"Exactly that, yes" he laughs. "Though I don't do it anymore."

"Do what?"

"Dm girls. Or reply to their dms."

"Why?"

"Because now I'm only interested in sliding into the dms of a certain girl" he says with a cheeky smile.

"Poor thing" I reply, looking away and acting as if I didn't know who he is talking about.

"Yes, poor thing. And posted. Will you give it a like?"

"Are you mad? What if someone sees it and they don't allow me to set foot in the Bernabéu ever again?"

"They'll understand" he laughs, starting the car.

"They won't. I'm literally sleeping with the enemy, Pedri. Just that could ban me forever."

"You are such a drama queen, Val" he laughs again. "But does that mean there is no chance I will be seeing you in my notifications?"

"Well… You actually look really cute in those photos. They are like worth it." Cute. Cute, cute, cute. The word of the night.

"I'll take that as a yes, then" he smiles.

"But I didn't say yes. Or maybe."

"You kind of did" Pedri smirks.

"I just… whatever" I say, looking out the window so he can't see the stupid smile on my face.

And yes, I ended up giving him that like. Let's just hope Florentino doesn't see it.

#pedri #pedri gonzalez #pedri fanfic #pedri imagine #pedri gonzalez fanfic #pedri gonzalez imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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inhuman-obey-me · 2 years ago

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What are your thoughts on OG obey me not getting anymore lessons after 80? It worries me because it kinda feels like they are trying to kill it slowly.... This is making me not enjoy nightbringer because i thought i would be a spin off new game with a new story that we could play while waiting for OG obey me to come with season 5, but now it seams like nightbringer will be their only foucus and season 5 will never happen. Sorry this kinda turned into a rant just not liking what's happening now.

Yeah, we weren't too happy when we first heard about it, which was the AMA the devs did on Reddit. It was a shitty way to release that information, and it sucks that they really only said so when people ASKED if OG was going to get season 5/more lessons. It did create backlash right away, which we guess they were...attempting to avoid in the first place lol. But they definitely should have handled that announcement a lot better than they did.

In terms of what it means for the future of OG, we don't think they are trying to kill it per se so much as they just sort of...wrote themselves into a corner, and this was their way of hitting reset, on that and other things.

(no need to apologize for ranting, ours is even longer LOL -- rest under the cut!)

We definitely have some criticisms of the writing in Season 4, particularly how they squandered much of what was narratively set up in Season 3, and they didn't really set anything up on where it goes from there. It's also unfortunate that the original game is just going to be doing the same events as Nightbringer, rather than separate ones, which just means there's really nothing to motivate people to stay. And in that way, it does also sort of feel like a waste of all the effort people have put in to strengthen up our cards and grind affection and stuff, because we can't transfer ANY of that. They probably hope to continue that both sides will make money for them, but realistically speaking, it does feel like they are effectively just pushing everyone to migrate to the new game, and that the original is being sort of abandoned to just a maintenance mode kind of thing.

One thing they did note about the decision was that Ruri Tunes was originally supposed to just be an additional mode, but they decided to split it off as part of a separate Nightbringer game/story in order to not make the original "unplayable" with all they wanted to add and change "under the hood". Part of that, at least at a guess, may be due to the difficulty curve of the original -- despite them adjusting the difficulty in a patch, plus their zero-AP lesson battle promo campaigns, they probably were seeing a lot of drop-off just for people who gave up because they couldn't make it through those earlier lessons to even finish Seasons 2, 3, and 4. In that sense, it's good and bad to shift the continuation of the story to this new game even though they don't seem to have actually learned their lesson with the difficulty curve problem... But that's another thing they get to hit reset on by making a new game.

As for a Season 5, we do know from the same AMA that the story from the original is supposed to "continue" in Nightbringer, which suggests that it might pick back up from the end of Season 4 as effectively a Season 5, like maybe MC will make it back to their own time and continue from there, just in this other game instead of the original. Which, um, is certainly a choice on their part, especially since not everyone has the time or interest in a rhythm game. It kinda feels also a bit like this sudden time travel thing in Nightbringer may almost be a way of buying them some time while they figure out what to do as a continuation to the OG plot.

All of that said, however, considering the lack of direction for the original, we've actually been really enjoying Nightbringer's story! It dives into a lot of super interesting questions and content that fans have been begging for and brings back some of the darker themes from Season 1 that we've really missed, so even though it's not quite the Season 5 we've been waiting for, we're really hyped for the new content to keep coming!

#strongly believe that this was their way of fixing what they did to the OG story #it was an easier way to bring back darker themes after they went too far the gag/comical route in most of season 4 #but yes here's our rant about it lol #obey me nightbringer #obey me nb #omnb #obey me #ask and ye shall be answered #ask and ye shall receive (essays)#nightbringer discussion

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loser-jpg · 1 year ago

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I hope u are still taking requests 🤗

So a oneshot with twst boys where yuu is going through a lot but doesn’t like to share it with her friends bcoz she thinks they won’t care ( because of her past experience with her friends) . Just a comfort fic with all of them trying to comfort them in their own way

I only write gn or masc reader so i switched it to gn, hope thats ok.

also i got really inspired while making this and kinda went overboard with the length so i decided to make a couple chapters to get each character in, ill add links to the other chapters as I write them

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

It had been a couple months since Yuu had found their way to Twisted Wonderland. The initial adrenaline rush had worn off long ago, but the never ending excitement of meeting new people and experiencing new things kept them distracted for a while. Now that things were dying down and falling into a day to day rhythm, Yuu couldn't help but begin to think back to their home, and all the people they left. They were grateful, of course, for all the new friends they had made, but that wasn't to say they wanted to abandon the ones they already had. And what about their family? Were they ok? Did something happen to them in the time Yuu was gone? Yuus thoughts only got more and more anxiety riddled the more time they spent at NRC.

I can't really tell anyone though. They'll get annoyed with me. It's not their problem I'm stuck here.

Yuus poker face must have betrayed them because it was only a few days of silent brooding before they were confronted by Kalim.

"Hey, Yuu! Come with me to Scarabia!"

"Sure, why though?"

"You'll see!" Yuu followed along with interest as Kalim dragged them through the Hall of Mirrors back to his dorm. Kalim was in such an unnecessary rush he was practically pushing them by the time they smelled whatever was being cooked in the Scarabia kitchen.

"You seemed sad recently so Jamil agreed to cook for you! Whenever I'm sad either Jamils cooking cheers me up, or throwing a party does, but Jamil said you probably didn't want a party." Kalim was right about that, Yuu didn't really want any sort of party, but the small act of kindness from the two boys warmed their heart, even if they didn't know why Yuu was upset.

"Kalim invited some classmates from Heartslaybul, against my better input, but he said you wouldn't mind." Jamil barely looked at Yuu for a second, but they could tell he was just as concerned for them as Kalim. It made them feel a little guilty, to make their friends worry, but the attention was nice.

"Hey, Yuu how ya doin. Kalim said you were sad." Yuu hadn't noticed, but Trey, Cater, and Riddle had walked into the room where Yuu and the two Scarabia boys were. Cater had sat down across from Yuu and went right to talking with them, thoroughly ignoring the now slightly annoyed Jamil and Riddle.

"Cater! Ah, I'm fine. Sorry I don't want you guys to worry for me or anything." Yuu laughed half-heartedly, trying to brush off their embarrassment.

"It's fine Yuu, you're our friend so we want to make sure you're okay." Trey set down a box infront of Yuu, before going over to talk to Jamil who was currently dealing with an over-energized Kalim.

"It's important for students at Night Raven College to be at their best so they may also present their best. It's...also important that you are doing well because we care for you, BUT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAT YOUR ATTITUDE REFLECTS THE STATE OF THIS SCHOOL." Riddle practically ran through that middle phrase, almost to the point where Yuu didn't catch it, luckily they did, but Riddle walked off red-faced before they could thank him.

"Those are for you btw, Trey made them." Yuu opened the box in front of them to see multiple small baked goods. Too many for them to eat on their own, but nonetheless they thanked Trey, and the others for their kindness. It was nice to know there were people who cared enough to go out of their way even though Yuu didn't tell them how they felt.

end of chapter 1

Thanks for sending me a request <3

#losers writing #twst #twisted wonderland #twst yuu #kalim al asim #jamil viper #riddle rosehearts #cater diamond #trey clover

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hestia-and-the-court · 2 years ago

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We had a bit of a mental breakdown a few days ago. Ended up writing poetry about it. Only our third time even attempting poetry so it probably sucks due to lack of experience, but we do kinda like how it came out anyway, so we’re dropping it here for posterity’s sake. cw: depression thoughts, self-loathing thoughts, directly addressing the audience if that trips unreality stuff for anyone

The Shape of a Soul

What is a Soul?

we’re not enough

What is its shape?

never ever enough

Perhaps it is like a story written down and kept:

we tried but no matter what we always fell short

Words carved into the substance of the Self,

and in all that trying we made ourselves less

Scars left from an attempt to make sense of the narrative.

left wounds that may never heal and trying rips them open

Or perhaps it is more like a dance:

every time we try we get it wrong

Well-worn and well-practiced movements embedded in the Self,

and we know we selves-sabotage we know we know we know

A performance honed into instinctual repetition.

but we’ve never quite known how else we can be

Or perhaps instead it is like a song:

it hurts make it stop please it hurts

A mixture of scarred words and ingrained rhythm,

but the hurt is inside us and we can’t ever escape it

The Self crying out to be heard in a world of selective deafness.

to be not-hurt is to be unrecognizable but we still want it anyway

Or perhaps it is like a play performed live:

oh god how we wish to be someone else

The Self projected and exaggerated as a costume and a role,

we so badly envy those who can live at peace with themselves

Concealing the places where the Self does not match the exaggeration.

but we can’t mimic them because every mimicry fails and leaves just us

But then, if the Soul is anything like any of these...

we long to be helped but push away those who try

If the Soul is a story written down,

we won’t let our wounds bleed on you

Or if the Soul is a dance perfected,

we won’t let our mistakes hurt you

Or if the Soul is a song performed,

we won’t burden you with our pain

Or if the Soul is a play that is staged,

we won’t let you see behind the mask

Then the Story is not complete without a Reader,

and yet still our scars ache and do not heal

The Dance is not complete without a Partner,

and yet still our best efforts are for naught

The Song is not complete without a Listener,

and yet still we cry out for our pain to be heard

The Play is not complete without an Audience.

and yet still we perform the role that we hate

So then if the Soul has a Reader, a Partner, a Listener, an Audience,

what do you mean you can hear us those words weren’t for you

I wonder what they’d think of the shape of our Soul?

we’d have stayed silent if we knew you were listening

What might they see in our Soul from the outside in?

we don’t want people to know how inadequate we are

Would they think it grotesque or beautiful in the end?

never enough never enough never enough never enough

#personal life #poetry #hestiaposting

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ttoshaaa · 2 years ago

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Oh no, it—-it’s coming, another tag game is coming!!! Thank you dear @madame-karenina for tagging me!

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yes, after my grandma! And not after Natasha Rostova, as some people may think…By the way, it’s kinda rare to meet people with this name now, I mean, in Russia. Don’t know why.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oh, I don’t quite remember. I almost cried yesterday when we had a lesson on the siege of Leningrad. Does that count?

3. Do you have kids?

Hahaa, no, I’m not even 18! But I’d really love to.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Happens sometimes. Not to mock or bully anyone, of course!

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

If we’re talking about strangers, it would probably be the way they talk or move.

6. What’s your eye colour?

Uh, that’s a tough one. It’s something between gray and blue. Depends on the lighting, I guess.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings! And I never watch scary movies, ahah. Not that I’m afraid or anything, I’m just uninterested.

8. Any special talents?

Welllll, I do have a great memory. And a good sense of rhythm.

9. Where were you born?

On a desert island, somewhere in the jungles…Nah, I’m kidding. In a maternity hospital. Where else could it happen?

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, drawing, genealogy, watching soviet cinema.

11. Have you any pets?

Noo:::(((

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Swimming and tennis, but that was in the past. Now I sometimes hang out with my grandpa and play table tennis. And chess. I’m only an amateur.

13. How tall are you?

168 cm.

14. Favorite subject in school?

History! We have complicated relationships. But I still love it.

15. Dream job?

A diplomat in intercultural relations, something like that🤔

That was nice! Unfortunately, I don’t have so many mutuals but @katecaru @pixcit @i-hate-radishes you are all welcome to join!

#tag games

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eclipse89 · 2 years ago

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just going to go in order here, screenshotting paragraphs and then writing my thoughts below each

insulting astronomers in the first paragraph of an article about light pollution. very cool guys

could not be a more condescending way to start an article

note how they use the word "valuable". interesting word choice. astronomers have voiced concerns for a long time for a great many reasons, yet the only one cited here is "valuable observations of deep-space objects by ground-based observatories", which also happens to be the most alienated one from the general public.

btw that last bit is just straight wrong. space-based observatories are of course, not at all affected by light pollution because they're in space

yes. a grim future only for astronomers. all of humanity not being able to see the rest of the universe, somehow, does not affect all of humanity. this is also largely misleading, because it will of course have grim effects for every human on earth.

here they spend about 20 words on the fact that 80% of humanity is now affected by light pollution, and then spend the entire rest of the paragraph explaining how LED sales have gone up over the past five years, and are expected to go up over the next five.

which of these facts is more important and deserves more time in the article, i guess you can decide that one for yourself.

once again characterizing the astronomers' point of view as only "this will affect our job/hobby, which we don't like/is bad", which is completely incorrect and once again very condescending. we care about humanity, firstly.

more telescope talk, more observatory talk, all they've said so far in terms of actual effects is that it'll affect stuff that astronomers do and no more.

i like how he said "dire threat this all poses to non-professional users of the night sky, including amateur astronomers, astrophotographers and astro tourists." and never quite got to "this affects all of humanity" bit

do you like seeing the stars? not even- do you like having the ability to see the stars, if you ever did want to? if you answered yes to either, or "i can't see them but i wish i could", this affects you. yes, you in particular.

also this is a side note, but that phrase he said "users of the night sky" came off SO bad. users? really? would you say looking at, and maybe taking a picture of, a beautiful sunset is being a "user of the sunset sky"?

this is ridiculous and insane.

starting off, a blatant lie. astronomers did not "just realize" that all of humanity not being able to see Most Stuff outside earth/in the rest of the universe actually does affect all of humanity. that's inherent to the problem of light pollution.

i think this is a good time to address the continued use of the term "dark sky". when they say dark sky, they obviously mean a non-polluted sky. which is just a normal sky, how the sky was for all of human history (and before!) until around like, the 1920s.

so lets see the priority list here: normal non-polluted skies are beneficial to

- astronomers firstly

- nocturnal animals

- oh and, the rest of humanity too, i guess

how does it impact humans? well uh, it messes with the circadian rhythm a bit. and it's also been linked to a higher risk of obesity and depression.

anything else? no?

maybe that like, 8 billion humans will not be able to see the rest of the universe anymore?

i feel like that should take priority over circadian rhythm disruption. in fact i also think, and i may be slightly biased as one of those 8 billion humans, that it should take priority over nocturnal animals being disrupted.

i know what you're saying, why not both! and i agree. we should of course, say both. but on the side effects of a medicine, they typically would list "death" or "heart attack" before "mild headache" for a reason.

the effects of something that we need people to see the most, and the effects that are the worst, should be the effects we prioritize talking about. this is a natural concept, it happens all the time. except here.

why?

reading an article about light pollution on space.com, every single paragraph is either wrong, misleading or insulting

the way this problem is handled in the media is just complete insanity

going to reblog this soon with some quotes probably

#astronomy #space #space thoughts #astronomy thoughts #light pollution

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x-childish-x · 3 years ago

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hi 😊 may i request a luke skywalker x a fem reader where the reader wants to try being more rough with luke in bed? however luke is a bit nervous since he is afraid he will hurt reader, but she assures him that he won’t, she trusts and loves him. and then during it, she says prompts #10 and #55 from the nsfw prompt list? tysm if u accept this and we appreciate ur writing so much! much love 💜💜

Don't Be Gentle

Pairing: Luke Skywalker x fem!reader

Fandom: Star Wars

Warnings: NSFW, smut

Word Count: 637

A/N: Hello love, I'm so sorry that this took so long! Thank you so much for the support, kind words, and your request! I appreciate you greatly! I hope you enjoy this request. Feedback is always welcome and encouraged!

Summary: You convince Luke that he really won't hurt you if he gets a bit rougher during sex.

(gif not mine!)

"Please?"

Your words were breathy as you spoke. Your mind was hazy, distracted by Luke kissing up to your neck as you asked him to be rougher with you. Not that there was anything wrong with being vanilla, but you just wanted to try being rough just once. However, Luke was insistent on not taking the risk of hurting you.

"No," Luke mumbled, kissing your lips, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't!" Your voice is slightly whiny as you speak. Your hips rocking up against Luke's, desperate for friction, "You won't hurt me. I'd tell you if you were!"

Luke groans at your actions, pushing your hips back down into the bed as he nips at your neck gently, "No."

Unlike every other night, you weren't planning to back down, and you made that clear by grabbing Luke's face and forcing his full attention on you, "Luke, I trust you. I know you would never intentionally hurt me. If you genuinely don't want to be rough, then I won't force you. But if it's just the fear of hurting me, then trust me when I say I trust you."

Luke's eyes flicked all over your face, seemingly waging a war with his thoughts, "You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, don't be gentle."

It was as if you could see the switch flick inside of Luke's brain as he mushed his lips against yours. You groan at the tight grip on your hips, Luke quickly working his way down your neck. His gentle nips had turned into bites and suckles that would most definitely leave a mark. You whined at the feeling of Luke's tip pressing against your folds, making him smirk.

"So wet, (Y/n)," Luke groans, "All for me?"

"Yes," You whine, "Please, Luke, choke me!"

Luke groans as his hand wraps around your throat, and he pushes his cock into you inch by inch. You could cry in pure bliss at the feeling of Luke bottomed out inside of you, his hand around your throat, his lips kissing yours sloppily.

Luke pulls out and hits that perfect spot just like he does every time, only the sensation is like no other time before. His thrusts are rough, his rhythm more aggressive than he's ever gone before, and you have to admit that it feels incredible. The hand holding your throat tightens slightly as he picks up pace, his mouth dropping to attach to your collar bone.

His hand leaves your throat, and a moan immediately tumbles from your lips, cries of pleasure filling the room as Luke fucks you into the bed. He's thoroughly pounding you now, and you know your orgasm is coming quick. His rough thrusts are hitting your g-spot like never before.

Stars flood your vision, and your orgasm slams into you, leaving you breathless and crying out for Luke repeatedly. He immediately responds to you, moaning your name in response.

"That's my good girl... clench around me," Luke groans.

You cry at the sensation, Luke thrusting into you hard and deep a few more times before he's stilling inside of you as he hits his own orgasm. His head drops to the crook of your neck, nipping and kissing you as he shudders through his high. You're sure that his tight grip on your hip will leave marks, and the idea has you sighing happily at the thought.

Through your bliss-filled haze, you smile as you kiss the side of Luke's head, "I told you so."

"Hmm?"

"You didn't hurt me. I told you so."

Luke's shoulders shake as his chuckles fill the air, and you can't help but smile. You could see many rough, wild nights in your future at Luke's new revelation that he wasn't going to hurt you. Many, many, rough, and wild nights ahead.

General Taglist: @nowthisisdark

Star Wars Taglist: @sythe-vordik

#x-childish-x #xchildishx #star wars #sw #starwars #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker smut #luke skywalker x female reader #luke skywalker x you #luke skywalker x y/n #lukeskywalkerxyou #lukeskywalkerxreader #lukeskywalker #lukesmut #lukeskywalkersmut #luke skywalker #lukeskywalkerxfemalereader #lukeskywalkerxy/n

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differentkettleoffishalltogether · 4 years ago

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Insecure

Summary: Spencer and Reader are both a little uncomfortable with the idea of having sex

A/N: I firmly believe that dry humping shouldn’t just be for horny teens <3

Pairing: Virgin!Spencer Reid x Virgin!Fem!Reader

Category: Smut, Fluff

Warnings/Includes: cursing, smut, graphic descriptions of sexual acts, grinding, dry humping, please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!

Word count: 1.9k

Masterlist

Requests Filled:

“I may have asked you this before but I’m not actually too sure if I just thought about it or if I actually sent it so I’ll resend to be safe (I have Dory’s memory I promise I’m not trying to be pushy) But could you write a blurb about riding sub!spencer’s thigh bc he’s not sure if he’s ready to lose his virginity and he gets so worked up he cums in his underwear (idk if you’re comfortable with that so please ignore this if you aren’t no pressure at all just lots of love) xx

Hi Ellie! I'm a new anon to your blog and I have a blurb request about the grinding on spencer gif you recently reposted. Maybe y/n and spencer are "in the mood" but y/n has never done "it" before but she still wants to get spencer and herself off so they dry hump in their underwear because that's as far as she's comfortable with going. I'm sorry if this is worded weird I've never requested smut before. Also can I please be the 💜 anon?”

-- -- --

It wasn’t like they’d done nothing. But there was something about sex that felt like such a bold step. He knew she was inexperienced too, which sort of helped ease his nerves whenever he thought about it for too long. He just hoped that the whole thing freaked her out as much as it freaked him out really, but he still just found himself a little too shy to say anything about it. Instead opting for awkward and abrupt ends to make-out sessions, or cuddles, or dates, for fear that it would spiral into something he wasn’t exactly ready for.

That didn’t mean he didn’t want to. In some paradoxical way it still turned him on, and whenever he’d leave and make a break for the bathroom in the middle of a make-out session on his couch he’d more often than not find himself with his hand around his cock, pumping himself to the thought of her. He wasn’t sure what was so intimidating about it to be honest.

But she never seemed to say anything about it, so he sort of thought he might be in the clear about the whole thing. Even though deep down he knew that’s not how relationships or communication worked. So he’s both surprised and unsurprised when he shows up at her front door with take out and she’s wearing a robe with what looks like little else underneath. A far cry from her usual comfy clothes that he’d grown so fond of.

“Hey Spence” she says with a nervous smile, and he just stands there dumbfounded, staring at her like he’s never seen her before.

“Oh— I— um, hi!” he mumbles out, forcing himself back to reality as she steps aside to let him into her apartment. “I brought food” he says, leaving it down on the coffee table and all of a sudden having no idea what he’s supposed to do with his hands.

“Spence, I wanted to talk to you about something” she says, looking almost as nervous as he does, bracing herself as she sits down on the couch and beckons him to sit beside her.

“What is it?” he gulps down the lump in his throat before he speaks, preparing himself for the conversation he’s been dreading.

“I don’t really know how to phrase this but, um, I don’t think I’m ready to have sex yet” she blurts out, her arms crossing over her chest, defending and comforting herself as she speaks, her eyes looking anywhere but his.

“That’s alright” he smiles, reaching out a hand and placing it on the side of her face, gently tilting so that she has to look at him, “Me neither”

Saying it out loud feels like a huge weight has been lifted from his chest, he feels lighter than he ever thought possible as she looks in his eyes and they’re filled with a similar ease.

“You’re not just saying that?” she asks, hopeful, and he shakes his head.

“No, god no! I’ve been so worried that you were going to get annoyed, or impatient, or freaked out by me. I just didn’t know how to tell you that I wasn’t ready for that yet. And don’t get me wrong, I do want to… eventually, and I think you’re so pretty, just not, now.”

“You have no idea how good it feels to hear that Spence” she lunges forward and pulls him into a tight hug, and his hands pull her in instinctively, spreading out against her back. As he feels the smooth satin beneath his fingertips he has a thought.

“If that’s what you wanted to tell me, then what’s this about?” he asks, pulling back so that he can cast his gaze over her robe again, lingering a little longer this time, letting his eyes trail along her bare legs that stretch out beneath it.

“I don’t know if this was a stupid plan or not. But I wanted to prove to you that I do still want to be with you. And just because I’m not comfortable with sex yet doesn’t mean I’m not comfortable doing other things with you?”

“Oh” his breath catches in his throat, maybe it’s nerves, or just anticipation but he can feel the heat rising in his face, “Like, um, like what… things?”

“You’re not allowed laugh” she says, taking her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, and he smiles at her.

“Never”

“I know it’s a real ‘teenage’ activity but I thought we could both get off together if we dry humped?” his eyes go wide at her suggestion, because it’s perfect and he’s nodding before his lips can even think about forming words.

“Yes, yeah! That’s a great idea” and then she’s grinning at him and he’s grinning back before they’ve even really touched each other. “How do we start?”

She takes a moment to consider before speaking, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but maybe if you took off your clothes so we’re both in our underwear?”

“But you’re not—” before he can finish his sentence her hands have pulled at the tie keeping her robe together and it drapes open on either side, revealing the rest of her body clad in nothing but a white lingerie set. He has to force himself to start breathing again before he can do anything else. But once he does he’s standing up and making his way out of his clothes in an uncoordinated rush.

When he sits back down on the couch in only his boxers she wastes no time climbing into his lap, one leg either side of his thigh, her knee nestled in against his crotch. The pressure is immediate and he can’t stifle the moan that falls from his lips.

“Take this off baby” he moans, his hands coming up to push her robe off of her shoulders until she can shrug out of it, discarding it on the floor. “Fuck” he whispers at the unobstructed view, his hands ghosting along her sides with almost ticklish amounts of pressure.

While his hands are occupied and he's just a little distracted, she dives in to kiss him. Her lips a little rough against his from the excitement but he doesn’t seem to mind, opening his mouth in response to let her tongue in. They stay like that for a few moments, hands roaming over bare skin, tugging gently at hair, moaning against each others mouths.

It takes an embarrassingly little amount of time before they’re both desperate and aching, and she can’t help the way she grinds down against his thigh, resting her hands on either one of his shoulders for support.

“Does that feel good baby?” he asks when her lips break apart from his own to let out a gasp.

“Uh huh” she moans, her lips hanging open, soft and swollen from kissing his own.

“Why don’t you come a little closer?” he whispers, tightening his grip on her waist and pulling her in tighter so that her knee is pressed up against his bulge, pushing closer with each soft rock of her hips.

“Fuck” he whimpers, his head falling backwards to land on the back of couch, giving in to the overwhelming sensation. If it was ever possible for something to feel too good, this was it, he cursed himself for knowing it wasn’t going to last long. And then she started to kiss his exposed throat and he knew he was fucked.

His hands began to dig in tighter against her waist, both guiding her movements and letting out some tension. “You’re gonna kill me” he forces out as she begins to gasp and moan between the soft kisses she leaves along his neck.

“Sorry, it just feels so good” she chuckles a little as he tries to bring his head back up so he can look at her, admire her. She was always so beautiful, but somehow even more so like this. With her hair just a little messy, her eyes full of lust, her face and chest lightly coated with sweat in a way that made her look like she was glowing. It was all so perfect that he couldn’t be more thankful for his memory in that moment.

“Are you close baby?” he asks and she can only nod, her breath coming out in harsh pants as she tries to move her hips with some sort of rhythm. So he decides to concentrate his efforts on her in an attempt to slow himself down.

Holding her still with his grip he starts to move his thigh, alternating between shaking it so that it vibrates, and pushing it up in a very harsh and deliberate grid against her now soaking wet panties.

“Oh fuck, Spencer!” she whimpers, trying to steadying herself against his shoulders without much success. “I’m so close—uh—”

“Cum for me baby” he soothes while keeping his movements forceful until she’s almost doubled over on top of him, collapsing against his chest with a loud and desperate moan of his name. And he can feel the soaking fabric against his thigh and the idea that he’s the one that’s responsible for it has him throbbing.

But he waits. he waits for her to regain her breath and sit back up from her resting position against his chest. But she’s way ahead of him, and he can feel a hand pressing up against the fabric of his boxers, squeezing gently, but it’s more than enough stimulation to have him squirming.

“Shit Spence, you’re so hard” she groans, sitting up finally so that she can look at his blush covered face and neck.

“It’s ‘cause of you” he manages to mumble out as her hand begins to move, squeezing and pressing against his bulge, spurred on by each desperate little whine.

“Are you gonna cum baby?” she asks, her other hand coming up to knot in his hair, tilting his face so that he’s looking up at her, just in time to nod. And then he’s cumming, warm and messy inside of his boxers. Something about the feeling against her hand has her almost good to go again.

Spencer’s eyes close as he turns a brighter shade of red, his mouth hanging open in a little ‘o’ shape as he comes down from his high. When he finally returns to Earth to find her still perched in his lap he can hardly believe any of what’s just happened is real.

“So that’s what I was missing out on in high school?” he chuckles, his hands coming back up to graze her sides softly again as she smiles down at him.

“We’ll make up for plenty of lost time together. And we can take as long as we need.” she leans in and presses her lips softly to his. And even though he still didn’t feel comfortable with sex, he knew he felt comfortable with her.

-- -- --

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inkyblinders · 4 years ago

Text

Dancing with the Devil: Part II

Part 1

Pairing: Luca Changretta x Reader

Author’s note: This was so embarrassing to write not because of smut...but because I’m crushing hard on Adrien Brody right now. And I can’t even share this obsession with anyone because… he’s kinda niche? Someone please reassure me that I’m just going through a phase because dear God why can’t I stop watching Darjeeling Limited just to see him ahhh.

The story picks up right after the end of Part 1, so I recommend reading that first. Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated, let me know what you think!

Summary: Following your meeting with Luca Changretta, you face the Shelby family and Tommy's reaction. (2.6k words)

Warnings: Smut, angst, swearing

Tag: Let me know if you would like to be added or removed

@anythingwriter, @rrtxcmt, @shut-chan

_____________________________________________________________

You barely make it into your bedroom before he is all over you. The buttons of his crisp, tailored shirt fall like marbles. He moans when you nip the skin of his neck, right over his tattoo of the black cross, legs tangled together like a depraved waltz.

When he grinds into you, you shudder deliciously at the hardness that meets between your bare thighs.

How easy would it be for him to kill you after he fucks you, leaving your corpse twisted in the bedsheets. You know Tommy would find it when he eventually remembers that he has not seen you for days.

“Signorita, you know I come to you with the most honorable of intentions.” He murmurs, as if sensing your thoughts.

“You're not a very honorable man then.” A laugh that turns into a gasp as he trails his hand lower and strokes between your legs. No, not very honorable at all. And pretty soon all thoughts of honor are forgotten as he coaxes a moan from your throat.

His fingers are magic. The cold outline of his onyx rings scald your skin each time he crooks a finger inside you. Knowing exactly what you need, seeking your depths, swirling, rising to rub the clit, all the while exploring the flushed expanse of your body with his other hand.

Shoulder to breasts to hips and back again.

Without meaning to, you’ve let this stranger take control of your entire being. But God, do you crave this pure ecstasy.

It’s as if he wants to know precisely how much you can take before you're undone. So when you clench around his hand and feel the familiar ache he is right there, helping you ride the wave of pleasure, never breaking the rhythm of his thrusting fingers even as you curse, rake your nails down his back.

You almost cry out his name when you come. But you bite into his shoulder instead.

“Sweetheart, I’m gonna have to hear you next time.” He growls.

His words barely register as you come down from the high. Aftershocks spark like tiny flames. Now you are wearing his scent as much as he is wearing yours.

“Be inside me,” You whimper, tugging at his soft hair, urging him for more.

He rasps an empty warning, “What's my name, sweetheart?”

Of course. All this time you've never acknowledged you know of his identity. There was no use in trying to hide it now.

“Luca,” you breathe. And his eyes gleam with approval.

With a snap of his hips, he plunges into silky warmth. The fullness stretches you to your limit, head thrown back. It’s good, so good. Every withdrawal of his thrust is a blessing because you know what follows next. It’s him inside you again, wrapping you with his touch and the scent of tobacco and roses.

“Does your Tommy fuck you like this? Like the way I do?”

“He’s not mine.” You choke out, punishing Luca with a bite on the neck that elicits a chuckle rather than a yelp of pain.

He kisses you, your foreheads pressed together. “A damn shame for him.” Soon he starts to quicken his pace, going faster, more erratic, his breathing heavy upon your ears.

Yes, you urge him, come on, now.

And this is your chance. In a flash you roll on top of him, pinning down his shoulders with your hands. He tries to arch up but you stop him with a knee.

“How many men did you bring, Changretta?” You ask, making your voice rough to mask the lust, pressing your hands around his jugular.

It's a pleasure to see him like this. Shocked at your actions, maybe even scared. Naked with want but unable to do anything to relieve it. Unless he tells the truth.

“Fifteen. Why baby, am I not enough for you?” He laughs breathlessly, hands trailing goosebumps along your hips, tracing the contour of your breasts. The jib doesn't hurt you. After all, men have said worse. He tries to surge into you again, and his hot member pulses on your thighs.

“Do you swear on your honor? That you’re telling the truth?” You insist, squeezing him harder. The touch brands his skin as much as it brands yours.

In a voice full of self-mockery he says, “Yes I swear on my honor. Now let me in, clever Isabel.”

You take him in you, the sensations amplify a thousandfold. You try teasing him, going slowly in and out, but soon you are caught up in the sensation of him completely at your mercy and you ride him, faster, until you keen his name, until he too is undone.

****

Through the haze of dawn, he stumbles out of bed and gets dressed. Before he dons his hat once more, Luca leans down to whisper in your ear, as soft as sin.

“You tell Tommy Shelby he may expect a visitor in the night. I'm coming for him as the angel of death. The vendetta has begun…” He kisses your hair.

“I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

The door clicks shut. You rise from your pillow, and a small, hard lump rolls next to your hand.

It is a signet ring of onyx and gold.

****

“So we all get a death letter from the mafia, but Izzy gets jewelry?” Ada huffs as the family filters into the betting shop. As usual, Tommy holds court at the front of the table, brooding over a glass of whiskey. You roll your eyes as Arthur and John try to cover their snort of laughter with a cough.

“If you want it, you can have it, Ada. He’s probably planning on killing me too.”

“Doubt it. You’re not a Shelby, and we’re the ones who killed his father. Well, someone did, to be precise.” She shoots a bitter look at Tommy, who doesn’t even have the decency to look ashamed.

Despite Ada’s matter-of-fact tone, the words cut to your heart. Not a Shelby.

It’s not her fault. No one knows you’ve been sleeping with Tommy, not even your dearest friend. It’s a lonely secret to keep, but at least you can look at the family square in the eye and not have to worry about the things they say behind your back. Or worse, pity you.

You can handle the violence and moral ambiguity of Tommy’s business. But to lose the love and respect of the Shelbys would break your heart.

“What was the mafia man like, Izzy?” Finn asks eagerly. It’s obvious the boy is thinking of the dashing, gun-wielding gangsters he’s seen in the pictures.

“He was a wrinkly old brute. Kind of like your arsehole brother Tommy.” A smile to take the edge off the insult. But Tommy only looks off into space. As if he hasn't paid attention to this entire conversation.

Arthur clears his throat. “Now, let’s get one thing straight. It was me who pulled the trigger on his dad, so the blame falls on me.” He pats Linda’s hand even as his voice is heavy with guilt.

“No one’s blaming you Arthur, you weren’t the brains behind the operation, no offense.” Ada says. He is about to say something when Polly cuts in.

“Stop squabbling like children. We’ve all voted for truce, despite everything Tommy’s done to us—” The words nearly having us hanged hover pointedly in the air. “—So let’s focus on the matter at hand." She fixes Tommy with a sharp look.

“What’s the news from Camden Town? Will Solomons help us?”

“No.” He says tiredly. And all of a sudden you feel sorry for teasing him. He look gaunt. There are shadows under his eyes, even more so than usual. Without you to remind him to eat, you can imagine his diet for the past few days consisted more of alcohol and cigarettes than anything substantial.

“Spent three hours on a fucking tour of his bakery and another pretending to drink his piss-poor rum. I think he was trying to get me sloshed so I’d forget what I came for.” Tommy rubs his head.

“He’s refusing to send his men to help. Said he’s not going to go after another oppressed people.”

“Did you tell him the Italians are rounding up Jews in their country as we speak?” Polly asks incredulously.

“Wouldn’t make a difference to Alfie. Besides, that’s just an excuse. He’s really just a fucking coward.”

Polly looks troubled at this, as does the rest of the family. Everyone had been counting on Alfie’s friendship with Tommy, however peculiar, to help them with the vendetta. What they hadn’t expected was his extreme sense of self-perseverance. How are they going to protect themselves now?

“Before everyone panics, I’d like to say something.” Tommy clears his throat, setting down the whisky.

“As you may all know, two nights ago our Izzy encountered Mr. Changretta in the Garrison. He bought her a drink and asked her to deliver an official beginning of the vendetta.” He chooses this time to finally look at you. You hold his gaze until he looks shiftily away.

“We can also assume that he has been scoping out Small Heath, looking for any weaknesses on our turf. Now, Izzy has something to share with you all.”

You stand up uncertainly. The last time a woman other than Polly tried to speak her mind at the table it had been Esme, who still refuses to come to the betting shop unless Tommy is not here.

“While Mr. Changretta was, er, indisposed at the Garrison, I found some items in his coat that I think could be useful.” You fish out a passport and a stack of papers from your skirt pockets.

“Good job, Izzy! Oh, I knew we could count on you more than my idiot brother.” Ada beams.

“Becoming a right little spy, eh?” John ruffles your hair good-naturedly. As everyone gathers around, Polly gives a low whistle.

“Goodness, if this is your definition of an ugly brute, I wonder who’ll really catch your fancy, darling.”

You flush. The documents were obtained shortly after Luca had fallen asleep. It was an exercise in agility, trying to extricate yourself from his tangle of limbs, especially when you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, encased in his warmth.

To your own credit, the papers were highly useful indeed. Some were maps of Birmingham, circles drawn in places where the Shelbys are known to frequent. The Garrison. Charlie’s Yard. The Arrow House. There was also stationary from The Stanton, a hotel just outside of the city.

There had been another piece of paper in the stack, a letter. But you kept that for yourself.

“We all have Izzy to thank for bringing us this valuable information.” Tommy’s voice rises above the chatter. “I will be personally examining all the documents and think of a plan. In the meantime, everyone stay alert, stay armed, and stay together.”

“Now if no one has any further questions, I need to have a private word with her. Alone.”

*****

You twirl the onyx ring around your finger as everyone filters out. It’s much too big but you still wear it anyways. The thick band of gold is comforting in its own way. And despite what you told Ada earlier, you don’t want to give it to anyone else.

Tommy’s curt voice snaps you from your reverie.

“Was it good, then?”

A small muscle tics on the underside of his jaw. His previously blank expression is now cold. The coward in you compels you to feign ignorance.

“What do you mean, Tommy?” You ask lightly.

“Did it feel good to have that fucking wop inside you?”

You burst out laughing. “Christ, Tommy. Did you pick up that word from Alfie? You sound bloody ridiculous when you’re trying to be crass, you know.”

“Don’t fucking change the subject, Isabel.” Tommy snaps.

“Oh, so I’m Isabel, now? You only call me that when you’re trying to get me in bed. Is that what you want? A bit early in the evening if you ask me.”

“What I want for you is to tell me how it felt having that man inside you, inside---”

You blaze with anger. “My sex life is none of your business, even if you are an occasional participant. I did what you would have wanted, and now I’ve got intel on the Changrettas that could save your arse!”

“Do you know how dangerous it could have been? Fraternizing with the enemy is exactly what got us into trouble with the Changrettas!”

“And fraternizing with them again has given us an advantage. We know how many associates he’s brought with him, and where they are staying. Good God,” Your eyes widen as you see the mutinous look on Tommy’s face. “Are you jealous?”

The silence of the room presses in until it's almost palpable. Finally he rubs a hand over his eyes, looking utterly defeated.

“I have no right to.” He says, pained. “But I am, just the same.”

The admission of his feelings would have made your heart soar a few days ago, before you met a man who enchanted you in the Garrison. You only laugh bitterly.

“What makes this different from all those other times you made me seduce the men you wanted to spy on?”

He says nothing. But what else is there to say? The past is in the past, and so many hurts have been caused by the both of you, it would be impossible to untangle it all.

You soften your voice, laying a hand on Tommy's arm.

“Let me continue seeing him. He wants me, and we can use that. You know it will be help, you know it might save us all.”

A breath flutters in your chest as you wait for his decision. If Tommy allows it, you’ll do it in a heartbeat. The Shelbys are your family, whether you're one in name or not.

But if he refuses, then perhaps… Perhaps he might actually care for you, deeper than jealousy, deeper than he admits.

“Very well.” Tommy says finally, and something in your heart shatters. The corners of your mouth curve up in a wobbly smile.

“Thank you for trusting me, Tommy. I won’t let you down.”

“You would never let me down, no matter what you do. Just…Be careful, Izzy.”

He closes the distance between you and enfolds you in a hug. You enjoy this quiet warmth, as fragile as spider's silk. With a small laugh, you pull away, patting his arm before turning to the door.

You don't look back to see if he follows.

#luca changretta #luca changretta smut #luca changretta x reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #tommy shelby

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calumxkisses · 4 years ago

Text

Us | c.h.

pairing: calum hood x f!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

summary: Michael and Crystal take you and Calum along to visit their wedding hall and it's the perfect location for a dance full of love.

a/n: am i obsessed with the idea of dancing with Calum? yes. let me know if you liked it. i'm still not really good at writing fluff imagines but i'm learning and i'll hopefully do better in the future.

you should read this imagine while listening to: us

➳

“So, this is the wedding hall?” Calum asks as he enters looking around the room. The structure is huge, there is still a lot to do but some decorations have already been fixed.

“Yeah, there are a few things we would like to change but it’s pretty much gonna be like this.” Michael responds, walking inside the room and looking around.

“It's lovely, guys. It's like being in a fairy tale.” You whisper while looking around the room. Your fingers are barely intertwined with Calum's as you look at the room, admiring the ceiling and the windows overlooking the sea.

You turn to Crystal and notice a tear running down her face as she admires the room. A smile forms on your face as you see your best friend so happy, her dream is coming true and you couldn't feel more proud of her.

This marriage has overcome the strangest obstacles, the biggest certainly was having to be postponed due to a pandemic, but their love has never stopped in front of these, it has grown more and more and to be able to be among the witnesses of their love is among the things you are most grateful for.

The room is very large, has an oval shape and is surrounded by windows overlooking the sea. Some tables have already been set up and embellished, they are also circular in shape and have floral decorations in the center. The tablecloth is embroidered in lace, it is pearl white but the different colored decorations, which accompany the flowers in the center, make the table look wonderful and original, recalling Crystal's passion for plants.

The chairs that surround them, simple but still elegant, have ribbons that decorate them. They’re gold and white, yet their simple design makes them look gorgeous.

“We are going to talk to the wedding planner to fix some things, in the meantime you can stay here and see if there is something else that we should change.” Crystal's voice grabs your attention, as she approaches Michael and takes his hand in hers. The wedding planner is at the entrance, smilingly waits for the couple and, for a moment, you think that there can’t be a more beautiful job than being able to make the dreams of couples come true.

“Calum, can you check that the stereo is working? They told me they fixed it but I haven't been able to check it yet, you'd be doing me a big favor.” Michael asks as he leaves the room grinning and not leaving time to Calum to reply.

“Gotcha.” Your boyfriend replies, shaking his head in amusement and smiling.

As Calum approaches the speakers, you take another moment to admire the room.

Looking up, your breath locks in your chest as Crystal's gorgeous decorations leave you in awe. The ceiling, which was previously simply white and wooden, is decorated with strips of tulle hanging like waves, giving life to a sense of peace and softness. The stripes extend all over the ceiling, giving the impression of being in the middle of the clouds.

In addition to the tulle, in a delicate way, some threads of small lights descend from the ceiling, romantically illuminating the room and creating an intimate and unobtrusive atmosphere.

A small elegant chandelier hangs in the center of the room, it is gold and its light is not as strong as someone might think, it is ideal to keep the room more illuminated in the most important moments, but its presence is more scenic than functional.

Some leaves and some flowers come down intertwined along the edges of the windows, hiding the window frame and making the atmosphere of the room even more simple and elegant.

The main theme is certainly white and gold, but Crystal and Michael made sure to add a few more hints of color as well, in order to make the room less monotonous and more fairytale.

The light inside the room disappears, leaving only the small lights that descend from the ceiling on. You open your mouth to ask what happened, but the words do not come out as your gaze rests on the sea outside the room, calm as in the best days, while a wonderful sunset is reflecting on the clear water. The sky is painted orange and pink, some clouds are scattered in the sky and you no longer have any doubts on why your friends have chosen this location.

There is a sense of peace in the air and you feel like you are in a different world, in a world of calm and joy, while the land where you have lived in these difficult months seems a distant memory.

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” Calum whispers in your ear as his hands rest on your hips from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder and looking outside.

“If it's a dream, please don't wake me up.” You whisper, closing your eyes and letting the sea air coming in through the window on your left, caress your face.

“I could never do that, you are too beautiful when you sleep.” You can see him smile as he whispers those words and, as every time he smiles, you smile too. There is something contagious about his joyful expressions, they warm your heart and you can't help but share them with him.

“Does the stereo system work?” You ask after a few minutes of silence, turning around to face him and leaving a quick kiss on his lips.

“Do you want to try it with me?” he asks with a smile, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket and pressing a couple of buttons on the screen.

“What do you mean?” A confused expression forms on your face. The long lilac summer dress moves with every blow of the wind but the summer temperature makes sure that you don't feel cold.

Calum puts the phone back in his pocket and, after a few seconds, the first notes of your favorite love song can be heard throughout the room.

While you smile, your boyfriend clears his throat and, reaching out his hand, asks you: “May I have this dance?”

Your cheeks turn red and the muscles of your face stretch into an even bigger smile as you nod and grab his hand. Calum walks you to the center of the room and holds your hips, bringing you closer to him.

And, as the first words of one of the most beautiful love songs echo in the room, you rest your head on his chest and close your eyes as your feet move to the sweet rhythm of the music.

Sometimes I'm beaten

Sometimes I'm broken

'Cause sometimes this is nothing but smoke

Is there a secret?

Is there a code?

Can we make it better?

'Cause I'm losing hope

Calum had never loved dancing, at least not this much. His footsteps were limited to a few twirls and jumps on stage or some weird movement on the dance floor, when the alcohol level in his body was way too high to be ashamed of anything he was doing. He had always seen dancing as something that did not belong to him, an activity that stressed him more than it should, and he had never imagined that he could love it so much.

But after you arrived in his life, one of the moments he loves the most is to dance with you, at two in the morning, in the kitchen, to the notes of any love song you are obsessed with in that moment, in the peace of the silence and of the sleepless night, while Duke looks at you confused and waits for the right moment to come ask for cuddles.

The way you let him hold you, the way you let yourself be vulnerable in front of him, away from judging eyes, and the way he feels like protecting you, in the darkness of the room, makes him feel a sense of calm that he hasn' t felt for a long time before your presence in his life.

And even if he was the universe's worst dancer and the whole world was watching him, he’d still dance with you.

Tell me how to be in this world

Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt

Tell me how could I believe in something

I believe in us

Calum squeezes your hand tightly as, observing you with eyes full of love, he spins you in front of him. The sunlight lights up your face and the man in front of you is sure he has never seen anything more beautiful. You look like a Greek goddess, the kind you hear in stories and in history books, the goddesses who saved the bravest soldiers and helped them in the toughest feats.

This is how he feels, ever since he saw in you a friend - and then a girlfriend - more than an enemy, he saw his little world in fractions being put back into place, with delicacy and love, and he is ready to sacrifice his most important assets to always have you on his side.

The sun is slowly setting, making room for the moon and all its stars. Yet, with him holding you tight, it seems to you that the world has stopped.

After the wreckage

After the dust

I still hear the howling, I still feel the rush

Over the riots, above all the noise

Through all the worry, I still hear your voice

Calum would be able to describe every single moment he walked into the dark and you led his way out with your light. Whenever he had writer's block, whenever anxiety kept him from getting through his day, whenever his thoughts got too dark and the demons took over, you were there.

Your delicate hands caressing his face or the sweet melody of your voice whispering comforting words, Calum remembers every one of these moments, every single one.

When the world becomes too heavy and distressing, he knows that you will be by his side and that you will help him carry the heavy weight.

And when the insecurities make their way into him, you will always be ready to remind him that he deserves to be loved.

So, tell me how to be in this world

Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt

Tell me how 'cause I believe in something

I believe in us

Tell me when the light goes out

That even in the dark we will find a way out

Tell me now 'cause I believe in something

I believe in us

Between dance steps, Calum lulls you slowly, the song continues to echo in your ears, and even your jaw relaxes. It’s so calming to not feel the weight of the world and the speed of time but to be able to enjoy this moment with a light heart and a head empty of all worries. In a society that runs fast and demands perfection from everything, having the opportunity to be able to stop and be left alone in love and peace is a luxury that cannot always be granted. Especially when your boyfriend is in an internationally famous band and you are trying to make your smaller, yet still of great value, dreams come true.

There is no worry about having to say the right words, having to wear the best clothes or just being yourself and praying to be accepted by millions of people who don't know you but who judge you as being part of your life.

‘She's not good enough for him’ or ‘He deserves someone more beautiful, with a perfect body, with a good mental health’ or even ‘She doesn't really love him, she does it for the money’ And there are also those gorgeous people he meets often, who work in some radio or who know mutual friends, and immediately those words written under your photos get inside you and make every certainty collapse.

You look at yourself into the mirror and you think they're right, that you're not perfect and that he really deserves one of those cover girls or someone who won't make him worry if you don't answer the phone. Insecurities that, however, under the sheets of a now familiar home, Calum makes you forget about.

And the words he whispers to you every day, the way he looks at you as if you were the most beautiful person in the world, the consideration he has of you, the notes he leaves on the table when he goes out or all those details that he pays attention to, they convince you that he doesn't care what size you are, the color of your skin or the negative thoughts that cross your mind, he loves you for your intelligence, for the kindness you carry in your heart and the delicacy with which you treat him, for the funny sound of your laugh and the way you make him feel in heaven, while reminding him to always keep his feet on the ground. And those comments, those ideas, disappear in the blink of an eye.

And now, like every time you’re with him, with your head on his chest and with his arms holding you, with the sea in the background and the lights that illuminate that corner of paradise that Crystal created, everything seems to be in the right place.

Used to be kids living just for kicks

In cinema seats, learning how to kiss

Running through streets that were painted gold

We never believed we'd grow up like this

Calum had never had good words to describe his love life. He had had love stories he was not proud of, toxic or in which he hadn't really felt strong feelings, and of the only good stories he had had, he didn’t like to tell about them because he was ashamed of how he had lived them. He believed that he hadn’t committed enough or that he hadn’t loved in the right ways.

So, he had decided not to try anymore, to put aside that desire to want to create something with someone and the more the people around him fell in love with and the more he thought about the effort he should have made, and all that stress made him forget the meaning to love. He didn’t want to meet anyone anymore, his life was good as it was.

And when you showed up awkwardly, in ruined makeup and wet clothes, Calum had thought of a thousand reasons why he didn't want to deal with you. Who shows up at an event dressed like this? What kind of girls does Crystal meet? And the way you talked about how your umbrella broke halfway and how you were about to be hit by a car didn't interest him. Calum just wanted to eat at that restaurant, pulled there by his best friends after a day spent in the studio.

And when the party moved to a friend’s house, it only bothered him how carefully you made sure you didn't spill your drink as you moved between dancing bodies and wagging dogs. He couldn't stand how you talked about life to Ashton, the love you put into describing the people who were part of it.

And when he saw you a few weeks later, he hated the way you greeted him and the way you worried about how he was doing. All too cheesy, too filmy and unrealistic.

But then, without realizing it, between one hateful look and another, Calum listened with interest to the way you talked about your passions and hobbies, how you described the places you had visited and the cities you dreamed of seeing. He laughed at you dancing and smiled when you paid attention to what people were saying around you, mentally marking down all the information to make sure to always ask the right questions.

And he found himself wanting the same attention from you, to see the smile you gave to others, dedicated to him. And so his answers to you became less and less cold and he had become less good at hiding his sweet eyes from you.

And even though every cell of his body was asking otherwise, to not feel another broken heart, Calum had decided to kiss you in the backstage of the iHeartRadio 2018, while you were wearing his leather jacket and moving his hair from the front of his eyes.

And the rest is history.

So, tell me how to be in this world

Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt

Tell me how 'cause I believe in something

I believe in us

Tell me when the light goes out

That even in the dark we will find a way out

Tell me now 'cause I believe in something

I believe in us

And like when Emily Bronte said ‘Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same’, as in the case of your love, there isn't much to do. You cannot go against fate if two hearts are meant to spend the rest of eternity together.

There are no arguments, reasons or strong enough excuses to separate those who are connected by much more than just love. And that’s what makes you this close, that in the darkness of the world, in the hell of fear and anger, that strong feeling resists, and fighting together is always better than doing it alone.

It’s a strong love, ready to defeat everything that tries to divide it, ready to sacrifice the absolute good of one, in order to spend the rest of life in misery together.

Like the rebellious angels, who preferred an earthly love to the eternal glory of God, so you are bound to laugh and cry together, and there is nothing that can make you happier than that.

Calum turns you around one last time, whispering a compliment in your ear and making your laughter echo across the room. The sun has now set and the stars are taking its place, the lights that descend from the ceiling look like little fairies that got lost admiring your love and the room has taken the shape of a magical forest.

Your friends are at the door of the entrance, with eyes full of love they look at the two of you laughing together and their hearts melt to see you so in love and they can’t help but imagine themselves in your place, in a few weeks, ready to dance and share the same love that you and Calum are sharing.

Breaking the peace of that dream, with pride and a grin on his face, is Michael, clapping and laughing at the way your boyfriend is completely in love with you but also feeling happy to see him so positively changed. He takes a few steps toward you and you don't need to hear him speak to imagine the comments he's thinking, making you and Calum shake your heads smiling.

“Just so you know, I expect to see you dance like that at our wedding too.” Your best friend's sweet voice says as she points at you by moving her finger between you and your boyfriend.

You run toward Crystal, her pink hair is tied up in a low ponytail, with a few tufts running down her face. Her smile is big on her face, lighting up her joyful expression. You have a billion questions to ask her, most of them are about the choices they made for the final decorations and your heart is so full at thinking about your best friends getting married.

You’re too caught up in your happiness to notice Calum, just a dozen steps behind you, smiling to his bandmate while whispering: “I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”

“Well, you know what to do.” Michael responds by nodding with his head and looking proudly at his best friend.

“Will you help me organize the proposal?”

#calum hood imagine #5 seconds of summer #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum 5sos #calum hood #calum thomas hood #5sos imagine #5sos imagines #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #luke hemmings #michael clifford #calum imagine #calum hood x reader #calum x reader #calum hood x you #calum x you #imagine #5 seconds of summer imagine

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ohnococo · 4 years ago

Text

All For You | Reiner Braun x Reader

Summary: You and Reiner have sex for the first time.

Notes: Post time-jump, though there’s not even the tiniest bit of plot in this porn. Pls be gentle, it’s my first time writing in this fandom and I just want to take care of Reiner (don’t we all tho?)

Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Post time skip, PWP, Vaginal Sex, Creampie

NSFW/18+ ONLY Under the cut!

You feel it as you ease down onto Reiner, his every muscle is tensed beneath you. Each slow inch deeper and deeper into your warmth has him shuddering and expelling jagged breaths as though they were being forced from him. You can see from the way his eyes try desperately to focus on you and how he clenches and unclenches the sheets with your every move, that everything in his body is telling him to thrust. To grab you by your hips and pull you down onto him, fast and hard, fast enough to break you, fast enough to break him, and with enough intensity to have you both fused together by your jagged ends. He resists, brain always conquering heart, and lets you sink down slower and slower still. When you finally settle down against his hips, clenching around the expanse too wide for your walls to do much more than grip at weakly, he lets out a drawn out groan, a sound not unlike a final breath. As you begin rocking on his cock, adjusting, squirming, Reiner smooths his hands across the cool sheets as if searching - but forcing himself to only feel around blindly in the same small circle.

“You can touch me, Reiner.”

He blinks away the haze clouding his vision, trying his hardest to focus on your sweet face as he considers his options and looks almost worried for a moment.

You know exactly where his mind is at and meet him halfway. “You can’t hurt me, I promise.”

Tentative hands slide from the sheets to meet your knees and you take the final step of pulling them up to your hips where he squeezes lightly. His grip tightens reflexively when you slide up his length slowly, as high as your range of motion - limited by the size of the man you were sitting atop - will allow. Once you sink back down onto him he lets out another low groan, as if your weight were instead on his chest, pushing the air from him. You establish a rhythm, and despite the large hands gripping you there is no attempt to change it, so you continue to move faster and harder down onto him. Each time you pick up your pace his hands have to readjust from trembling against your skin, as if he might have to force them back to his sides, to gripping you tightly as if you might float away and deny him your warm embrace.

You relish in the small noises bubbling up from his swollen lips, music to your ears as you commit the dark blush across his cheeks to your memory. He sounds almost as if it’s a shock to his system every time he’s buried fully inside of you, filling you to the brim, his breaths becoming quieter and quieter. Eventually all you can hear over the lewd sounds of engulfing his cock with your wetness is the small choked groans stuck in his throat as he stares in awe at where the two of you meet.

“Breathe, baby, you’ve gotta breathe.”

It’s as if he’d needed permission all along, the way he begins taking deep breaths, chest shaking, stomach twitching, and then releases all of his pent up energy in a long broken whine. With his laboured breaths and glassy eyes, it occurs to you that you’d love nothing more than to make him try and speak for you through all of this.

“How does it feel, Reiner? Is it good?”

He pulls a trembling lip between his teeth, eyes darting up to meet yours, traveling up and down your jiggling body, then rolling into the back of his head as you clench around him with each drag up his throbbing length. He nods, though the movement is so small it’s barely perceptible.

“You’ve got to speak for me baby, let me know if i’m making it good enough for you.”

He shuts his eyes tightly and you allow it, knowing you may never get a coherent sentence out of him if you were to force him to watch you taking him. “It’s… of course it is… s’good. So good.” He ends his babbling with a deep a breathy sigh of your name and the way it makes you shiver on top of him, pussy fluttering as heat pools all the faster in your core, has him whispering your name again and again in search of that same reaction, until it’s too much for him to say even that.

You know you’re pushing yourself too far with a cock as big as Reiners, but you can’t help going faster, bringing yourself down onto him harder, anything to keep hearing the noises he’s making. Anything to make him open wide beneath you like you’d never seen before. You lean forward, bracing yourself on his broad chest, crouching so your weight is on your feet instead of your knees to give yourself that little bit more room to slide up until only the thick head of his cock is anchored inside of you only to slam back down hard and fast. You’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a tinge of selfishness in the movement, loving the drag of his silky cock against the sweet spot inside of you, but nothing was more important to you in this moment than the sounds being ripped from Reiner. Deep moans punctuated by helpless whines as he emptied his lungs, followed by gasps of air inward bordering on little hiccups as he desperately tries to wrap his head around just how good you could make him feel.

You want to both be trapped in this moment forever, a blissful in between where nothing matters to one but what the other can give, but you know if you don’t keep control you’ll be giving out and spent long before he is.

“I need you, Reiner.”

The words have his eyes snapping open, and he tries his very best to focus on you, on the urgency in your voice. You know you can only keep his mind on track for moments at a time with the way you were about to milk him dry, but you too are falling into a state of delirium at the feel of him stretching you so well even as he lies doing nothing but twitching and whining beneath you. As the coil within you tightens, threatening to break and leave your words unsaid, you rush to give him the purpose he needs, lest he lie there all night heaving and moaning without the release you intended for him from the very start.

“Need you to fill me. Need you to cum for me.”

The haze clouding his eyes clears for only a moment as he very suddenly looks alert, almost alarmed. Alarmed that his body is acting on your command, not his, and that the orgasm coursing through him in white hot strides from his toes all the way up and into his tightening balls were for your sake, and yours alone. He groans, he whimpers, he cries, all movements that happen without his control as he fills you with all that he has to offer. In the end, it may have indeed been only for you as his heat flooding you seems to spread throughout your body as you clench and cum around him. You make as much of a mess of him as he does of you, your slick pouring down and pooling on his hips, and rock against him holding him deep as he will go as you ride out both of your orgasms. This is the bliss you’d always wanted him to have. This is only a piece of all the things he intends to give you.

#not sfw #aot fic #snk fanfic #reiner braun #reiner #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun x you #reiner x reader #reiner x you #pwp #aot pwp #aot smut #snk smut #aot fanfiction #my writing

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babbushka · 3 years ago

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I’m excited to read all your Kylo AU Sinday writing! May I please request these with either medieval Kylo or archaeological Kylo?

“Swoon, I’ll catch you.” And “You have bewitched me..”

Thank you! 💛

A/N: Thank you so much for sending this in!! I hope you enjoy this fluffy smutty something! :)

2k; NSFW (skinny dipping, public nudity, sex in water)

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Bobbing ever so gently with the current of the river, you breathe in deeply, feeling the warm air of summer fill your lungs, your chest expanding and deflating in a rhythm dictated by the breeze. It it late in the afternoon, and soon you will be expected to return to the throne room, but you still have some time.

Intent on using that time to the fullest of capacities, you lay atop the water, your arms and legs spread out as your hair floats in a great halo around your head. Yes, you think as you breathe, smiling a little as the current whooshes in a calm push past you, you are quite content.

Until that is, a pair of strong arms grab you, making you splutter and snap out of your reverie at once, baring your teeth to whomever has dared disturb your relaxation.

“Unhand me at once or I shall -- !” You start, heart pounding in your chest, a million thoughts running through your mind as you think of the quickest way to incapacitate your captor...

Before you recognize the deep rumbling laughter that comes from the direction of your captor’s chest, and you sigh with fond exasperation, knowing he is not a captor at all.

“You really must learn to pay more attention, my pearl.” Kylo grins with all his crooked teeth, as if he has won some great victory in catching you off guard.

Oh, but he has, won a victory of a different kind. He is home early and the confident attitude he is positively brimming with tells you that it was an early win, another battle claimed by the Empire that you know and love.

You find that you cannot be angry with him for surprising you like this, for it is in his very nature, the element of sneaky silent surprise. So instead, you allow the joy at your husband’s return to fill you, as you throw your arms around his neck and kiss him for all that you’re worth, grinning with your own indulgent happiness.

“Swoon, don’t worry I’ll catch you.” The cheeky bastard teases you, and you can only chuckle brightly at the good mood that he is in. It is rare for him to be so good-spirited, he tended to scowl even on the best of days. But today was a day for celebration, and you have no intention to stop him now.

“Insufferable, you are,” Rolling your eyes teasingly right back, before shaking your head and kissing him again, and again, and again, your body pressing to his as you hum, “But so handsome. I missed you, your highness.”

“Here I am.” He murmurs against your mouth, his teeth nipping at your lower lip, hands not once letting you go as he holds you to him.

“Finally.” You agree with a sigh of relief.

Kylo looks at you then, really looks at you, and it’s the sort of look that makes you hold your breath in heady anticipation, as his chest puffs with deep panting breaths of his own. You wish you could see him free of all his many layers, knowing that the sight would be divine.

And then, almost as if on cue, Kylo decides he does not want to be confined by his clothing any longer, and he pulls away from you to begin stripping down. You grin, perching yourself on a large smooth rock that juts up from the pebbles and sand of the river floor, watching as he reveals himself to you.

His armor comes off in large sections, and he takes care to rest them on the bank of the river. It’s not a very wide river thankfully, so he doesn’t have to go too far. Next comes his tunic, and then his shirt, before he can struggle to shuck off his hose and boots. In just a few short moments, he is completely nude, and my what a marvel it is to see him in the light of day like this, you think.

You yourself are wearing your chemise, a small barrier between your naked body and the elements around you. It does nothing to hide the shape of you though, as the cotton goes completely transparent when wet. It is that transparency that has Kylo’s mouth watering, you find, when he surges back to wrap you up in his arms again, and you feel the hard length of his cock pressing against your stomach.

“Fuck, Kylo, here?” You look around with a giddy laugh, surprised by his lack of care for being so exposed.

“Why not, we are rulers of this domain, why should we not indulge in our pleasure wherever we’d like?” Kylo replies with another searing hot kiss, the muscles in his arms flexing as he presses you close to him.

You kiss him back, and before you know it, he’s lifting you up with the help of the water, bracing you against that large smooth rock once more, and pushing up the wet chemise that clings to your body. Helping him with a moan, you manage to lift it up enough to expose all the way up to your stomach, and without wasting much more time, your husband guides the head of his aching hard cock to your cunt.

“Oh how I have missed the feeling of being so full.” Your head lolls back on the makeshift pillow as he pushes in, a happy sigh of pleasure breathing out of your lungs.

The way Kylo fucks you is animalistic in moments like these -- his instincts take over, the primal urge to be close to you, to be inside you, it consumes him, and in turn, he consumes you. With a hand on your throat to hold you steady, Kylo bites and licks into your mouth, his hips wasting no time to begin thrusting in and out of your wanting pussy, your moans filling the air around you, carried down the river by the breeze.

“Kylo! Oh my darling, more, please give me more!” You cry out, the pleasure immediate and so, so delicious.

He doesn’t say much, doesn’t say anything at all, just grunts out his pleasure as his mouth covers yours completely, sucks down all your moans sighs pants grunts of pleasure, swallows them the way your cunt sucks in his cock, a vice grip, not wanting to let go.

It’s been weeks since you’ve last seen him, which means it’s been weeks since you’ve been properly fucked, and he knows that just as well as you. Holding your hips tight to keep them steady, he fucks you hard, fucks you with all the pent up sexual frustration he’s harbored over the time and distance between you.

You can feel the way his cock presses itself as deep as it can go, you whine as it knocks against your cervix, the force of his hips pushing you up up up the rock, your hands gripping his shoulders, fingers digging in the muscle there as you throw your head back and plead, panting, begging for him to take you harder, faster.

Kylo does, oh he does, touching you all over your body, stimulating you from every possible point. His hands leave your hips, one moves farther down your body to press his thumb against your swollen clit, eliciting a yelp of pleasure from your throat. The other reaches up to pinch and roll a nipple, feeling for the stiff bud from over your chemise where the wet cloth has clung to it.

It doesn’t satisfy him though, and so wordlessly, with all his strength he tears your chemise right in two, and you gasp, the sudden feeling of river water and his hard hot body pressing down on your bare skin. Kylo kisses all across your chest, sucking and biting in his wake, the newly exposed flesh begging to be marked.

“Yes, right there, oh please right there -- more!” You demand, and he’s all too happy to oblige, as he holds you down, pins you to the best of his ability, grinding his hips against yours on long thick drags of his cock.

Your hips lift, back arching off the rock, as your moans and whimpers grow more and more desperate. You’re so close, this close to coming, your body begins to tremble with the want of it. Oh how long had you waited for this feeling, you pant and writhe beneath him, as his cock drags against that spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

“Please, I’m so close, just a little more, please darling!” You can taste it, the edge of adrenaline in the back of your throat, on your tongue. Kylo knows exactly how to push you over, and he puts all his concentration into it, into getting the timing right.

When he rubs your clit in just the right way, his cock brushing up against your spot once, twice, three times, your body snaps up with sharp pleasure, and you shout loud enough that it scares the birds away from the bushes on the bank of the river. Kylo fucks you through your orgasm, making you moan loud loud loud, the pleasure overwhelming as he speeds his pace up.

Sometimes he’ll drag it out long enough that you can come a couple times on his cock before he spills inside of you, but you know he must be tired from the long journey home, so when he grunts and groans against your throat only a few minutes after, before finally going still, you only smile, glad that he too has come.

He begins to kiss you then, kissing you with an urgency that has you confused in your blissful state. Kylo crushes you ever so slightly, not wanting to move away just yet, and while you’re not complaining, you do have to ask,

“What is the matter?” You pant against him as his body is a solid weight against you.

Kylo is quiet for a moment, and you feel the current of the river washing away all the come and slick, carrying it away off to heavens knows where, cleansing you of this sweaty filthy act. You are almost compelled to ask again, but you know better, and that he will reply when he has the words.

Kissing you again, he tries to press these words into your very being, gentle with you yes, but still an edge of danger, of desire that he cannot shake. You kiss him back, letting yourselves let the water rush over your bodies, simply being together for a few moments more.

“You have bewitched me, body and soul...and I love,” Kylo punctuates these words with more kisses, soft and gentle atop your lips, across your face, “I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you.”

Oh how your heart beats for this man, you can’t help but think, for even after fucking you so hard that you can barely see straight, you can see how dearly he cares for you.

“Then by my side you shall remain.” You nuzzle your nose against his, and he only presses his hard cock deeper into your warm cunt in response. Smiling with bliss and joy, you card Kylo’s hair away from his face and kiss him, whispering, “There is a banquet prepared for you, a grand feast. After the performance you just gave, I’m sure you are hungry for it.”

“In a moment.” He turns to press a kiss to your palm, before hoisting you off of the rock, pulling you to his chest, encouraging your legs to wrap around his hips, “Let me hold you a while longer, just a little while.”

Resting your head on his shoulder, you let him do just that, until the water of the river turns chilly as the late afternoon sun moves across the sky. You would stay like that with him for all eternity, should he desire so, for with him so near, you know there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

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Tagging some Kylo lovin' friends!

@mochabucky @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @bitchydecisions @direnightshade @reyloaddict55 @thembohux @kylorenswhxre @sunflowersinthesnow @babayagakeanu @safarigirlsp @steeevienicks @materialisthicc @hswritingrecs @rosi3ba3z @chapterhappygirl @schopenhauerdeathsquad @loverofallthings @groovetoob @bxnnywriting @angel-bxby3 @smallgirlbigpersonality @lovelyyy-luna @2000andwhat @raddo1975 @cornmousequeen @metsienmenninkainen @caillea @painttheskylineforme @holding-on-to-starwars @kylo-ren-is-alive @caitlin-was-here @canikeepitonplease @icarusinthesea @princessflip @goddessofsprings @mrs-gucci @baubub @bucky-j-barnes @mindyoshiii @beachwoodmonet @darkhairedmenrule @eagerforhoney @nekonaomitard @einmal-im-traum @justlenastuff @0nihiime

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren/reader #kylo ren smut #adam driver fanfic #adcu #medieval au #medieval kylo ren #kylo ren imagine

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intersex-support · 2 years ago

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i'm not sure if i'm intersex and maybe this is tmi but i've always susptected i am intersex. i'm afab but i have lots of body hair, mostly on my legs, stomach, arms and even back? but i have a nice amount on my face too, which could just be bc i'm Black and that's more common in my family but ALSO

my periods are really weird. they got fucked over from covid but they were weird before that. of course, i get a lot of the normal cramp pain but then sometimes i get sharp pain. really sharp. like someone's stabbing me in my vagina. i'll sit up and there it is. and that'll happen when i'm not even on my period! sometimes it just hurts. and i can't do anything about it, i just have to wait it out. i figured it was normal when i was younger. like oh yeah, sometimes your vagina just randomly feels like someone's poking a knife up there lol, that's definitely normal. but then i realized your vagina's not supposed to hurt unless you're on your period? and i was mad confused! bc? really? who knew? i'ont know who's handing out this vagina information but i missed my packet somehow.

anyway, my periods can get pretty out of rhythm sometimes and since covid? i haven't had a vaguely regular period since! sometimes i barely bleed AT ALL, which never happened before, i used to bleed like, quite a bit before covid and now it's all out of whack. sometimes it hurts for two weeks before my period and then i still feel like i'm on my period a week afterwards! even if i'm not bleeding. i can't track them at all anymore, lol, they're very irregular and i think i've skipped two recently? (no im not pregnant, not possible)

also i can't have sex of any kind, it just hurts and doesn't feel good at all. sooo. yeah.

SO. this is like a mess of information and DEFINTEILY tmi but? i thought maybe y'all either knew what the fuck this is or could just tell me "nah you're not intersex your vagina's just fucked some other way" either would be helpful ngl.

First of all, don't write off the body hair just because you're Black. Actually, don't listen to a single doctor who tells you that you're just racially more likely to have that amount of body hair, if they do they are just being neglectful lol. Even if it is common in your family, this could just/also mean that a diagnosable/understandable hormonal difference is a part of your genetics.

Some things you could look into OTHER than N/CAH or PCOS (you could have those alongside what I'm about to list) are endometriosis, vaginismus and vulvodynia, tilted uterus, nerve damage, and even infection (although if you've been experiencing this for a long time... I doubt you've had an infection for multiple years without knowing).

I'll also say, everything you said in the second and thirds paragraphs is exactly how my mom would describe what has been going on for her, AND it got worse after she had covid. She has no diagnosis but endometriosis and PCOS are things we have been looking into. A sharp pain may be indicative of a cyst, which could be in the ovaries obviously but I wouldn't rule out it being in/around the hip joint because you mentioned it appears when you sit up.

I'm not sure how covid affects already present issues (doesn't seem like anyone does... although there is some info that may or may not be very conclusive), but if your symptoms got worse after that then I would say it's likely something has been going on.

I think the stabbing pain is concerning, I would really suggest finding a good physician and at least getting some blood tests done for a comprehensive hormone panel AND getting the results sent to you. I'm not saying you can diagnose and treat yourself by looking at them, but we know physicians don't get the full picture, can be racist, or just not do their job. Getting those results can give you a starting point for comparison if you plan on doing your own research too, and can help you understand.

If you do end up going to a physician or get referred to a specialist, they may want to do a transvaginal ultrasound because of the stabbing pain or other kinds of inspection (like an x-ray for example). I just want to say that in any case, if you are uncomfortable then stick by your boundaries. If you feel pain or just feel unsafe then it should not be dismissed, especially since you said anything sexual is painful. I might be overstepping a bit here, but it does sound like you have a lot going on and you definitely do not need someone who is supposed to help you make it worse.

I hope this is helpful, sorry for the super long response but stabbing pain down there is definitely something I know at least a bit about. Can't say you are intersex or you're not intersex, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's not nothing, and I really do hope you're able to get some support!

#mod stev #ask to tag #long post #PCOS #NCAH #endometriosis #my brain is on low power someone let me know if I'm missing a tag please and thank you

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