#does this count as cop au incorrect quotes???

[queenofapeacefuldawn]

(100% real dialogue from the latest chapter I posted yesterday)

Aru when Mini's holding Rudy: Can u two pls stop trying to make out I need to save my husband

[auroraknux]

Incorrect Shadow Boom Quotes - Part I’ve Lost Count

Unlike the previous times, I do actually know where most of these quotes are from. However, there are still a few I don’t know the origin of. Also, as always, I have modified some of them.

Anyway, sorry I keep posting these lol. I just enjoy collecting quotes that fit the characters in my AU.

Amy: A strong relationship is built on clear communication and a shared bloodlust.

Maria: I came up with hundreds of plans in my life, and only one of them got me killed.

Rouge: As my mom always used to say, if a cop handcuffs you to a bike rack, there's always something you can gnaw through.

Shadow: Your mom always said that?

Shadow: So, just wanted to double check. How do ethical philosophers feel about murder?

Amy: It's frowned upon.

Shadow: Okay. What if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? That's okay, right?

Sonic: (holding Pikachu) Don't ever talk to me or my son again.

Shadow: I'm a champion of karate and friendship.

Amy: Your home is on fire, you have sixty seconds. What do you take?

Shadow: A nap.

Knuckles: (holding baby Blaze) What are her stats?

Amy: If you had 5 apples and gave 3 to a friend, how many apples would you have?

Sonic: *tears up* A...a friend...

Sonic: *takes a deep breath* I ha--

Knuckles: Yes, you hate Shadow, we know. You hate Shadow so much. He's the bane of your existence. You hate him so much. You just hate Shadow, we KNOW. You hate Shadow. You fricking hate Shadow. Okay, we know, we get it. YOU HATE SHADOW. WE GET IT.

Sticks: The moon landing was fake.

Sonic, deciding to mess with her: Pffft, you believe in the moon?

Sonic: In case you haven't noticed, I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in. I don't want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without a small Pokemon on my head? That's weird.

Shadow: When I was younger I had a crush on a girl in my class and didn't know how to deal with it, so I wrote her a letter that just said "get out of my school".

Rouge: ...THAT WAS YOU?!

Shadow: SONIC FUCK OFF

Shadow: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK

Knuckles: It's so beautiful out here.

Sonic: Yeah, it's just me, you, and the moon.

Amy: *somehow standing on the moon* HEY! YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!

Sonic: And this is Pikachu.

Knuckles: Uh, he has a knife.

Pikachu, holding obvious knife: (in Pika-speak) Wha? No, no I don't.

Shadow: Rouge said I was the most handsome hedgehog in the world.

Sonic: Knuckles said that to me, too.

Shadow: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

Rouge: Hey! What did you get for your birthday, Shadow?

Shadow: I got older.

Knuckles: Want to see an impression of my parents?

Sonic: Sure.

Knuckles: *leaves*

Sonic: How much do you love me?

Knuckles: *cradles Sonic's cheeks in his hands and looks deeply into his eyes*

Knuckles: Hella

Shadow: I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship and this gun I found.

Rouge: I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out.

Shadow: It's a post-jail date.

Tails: Don't say some truly stupid stuff like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept.

Shadow: You know it's going to be a rough day when you scream "Get fucked" at your alarm clock.

Rouge: I still can’t get over the fact that Shadow thinks I have my life together. That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me.

Amy: Relax, Shadow. Patience is a virtue.

Shadow: WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE? WHY CAN’T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?

Tails: What are you guys dressing as for the costume party?

Shadow: Sad.

Amy: Gay.

Rouge: Sexy.

Knuckles: Minecraft.

Sonic: Also Minecraft.

Sticks: You should feel lucky I'm asking you out. I'm a very sought after girl, I've been kidnapped like twice.

Amy: I'm sorry, are you bragging about being kidnapped?

Sonic: *has just gotten done explaining his tragic backstory*

Shadow: I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Sonic: How would you know that? You don't even talk to me.

Shadow: I do talk to you. I just say mean things.

Rouge: Red is such an edgy color, but it's also the color of love and cherries and Valentine's Day and it's so lovely and fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you, Shadow the Hedgehog!!!!!!!!

Knuckles: You had me in the first half, not going to lie.

Shadow: She had you in the second half too, you fucking coward.

Sonic: My problem is that I push people away and then get mad at them for leaving me.

Sonic: What were you planning to do with the rest of your night?

Knuckles: Probably watch cooking videos and fantasize about pie.

Rouge: Wait, Shadow had a stoner phase? How high did he get?

Amy: He asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, he looked me dead in the eye and said "Today is your lucky day" then curled into a ball and started talking...that high.

Rouge: Anyway, at least being paid in opium makes a cool story.

Sticks: Are you inviting me to ice cream?

Amy: The subtext of everything I say to you is inviting you to ice cream.

Sonic: (to Shadow) Did we seriously just get in a fist fight over Kit Kats?

Knuckles: Glitter fights sound a lot funnier in theory.

Rouge: I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.

Infinite: Don't worry, I have logic...just not morals.

Shadow: But there's so much I want to do before I have kids. Like die.

Shadow: All I heard was Rouge saying "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

Shadow: I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really want those mozzarella sticks.

Infinite: Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organized folders.

Knuckles: When I asked you to bring me back something from the beach, I meant like a conch shell!

Sonic: *struggling to hold a Wingull* Fucking say THAT, then!

Knuckles: The echidna life is a strained and tense one. I envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach…warmed by the sun…unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life…

Sonic: Do you need to talk?

Knuckles: I wish I was a croissant.

Sonic: Hello 911? Yes, hi, I accidentally stepped on my Pikachu's tail and I need to be arrested.

Beaver Policeman: Mr. Hedgehog, we’ve talked about this.

Shadow: Dad, I’m ready to go.

Black Doom: Hi ready to go, I’m Dad.

Shadow [tearing up]: Did you just make a dad joke?

Black Doom [sobbing]: Did you just call me Dad?

[at an amusement park on the teacup ride]

Shadow and Rouge: *spinning calmly while talking*

Sonic and Knuckles: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

Amy: Why is your report card on the ceiling?

Sonic: You told me to bring my grades up.

Amy:

Amy: I did say that, let me have a look--

Sonic: Thanks, Mom.

Amy:

Sonic: Why is everyone staring at me?

Knuckles: You just called Amy your mom. You said "Thanks, Mom".

Sonic: What? No I didn’t! I said "Thanks, man".

Amy: Do you see me as a mother figure, Sonic?

Sonic: No. If anything, I see you as a bother figure, ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Shadow: Hey! Show your mother some respect.

Sonic: a romantic poem for you:

hella cute

hella fine

be my hella valentine

Knuckles: i’m swooning how are you still single

Knuckles: Awww! Congratulations on the baby!

Shadow: *actually smiles for one in his life* Thanks.

Rouge:

Shadow: Darling, aren’t you going to say something?

Rouge: You know, congratulating someone on a new baby is basically congratulating them on having sex.

Rouge: Are you a cuddler?

Shadow: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUC--yeah, I’m a cuddler.

[hotelsweet]

HI and thank you so so so much if you got involved in this!!!! I’m so excited to be celebrating 1.5k w you guys and can’t wait to dish out some of these lil prizes <3

u guys I’ve had so much fun doing this and I’ve legit sat here for HOURS going through everyone’s blogs and tags and I’m just so,,,, in love,,, this fandom is amazing and u guys are so gorgeous and amazing! I’ve been whining at @peraltiagoisland​ all day about how much I want to include everyone and shower u all in compliments and just!!! I’m so blown away tbh  A QUICK REMINDER OF THE PRIZES WINNERS:  - a big personalised playlist from me to u (u kno how I love my tunes) - a follow from me if I’m not followin u (duh) - a mention here!! - a b99 fic from me if u want it!!! any prompt ya like - hugs and love obvs

RUNNERS UP: - a lil personal playlist from me to u - also a follow if I’m not already - also hugs and love - and a lil mention here <3

if you’ve won/are a runner up please message me so we can talk and I’ll get started on your stuff! i’m so excited to talk to a bunch of you and give u music and writing agh <3

OKAY WITHOUT FURTHER ADO (I have added notes in italics bc I am just so excited and amazed by u guys)

BEST SMALLER BLOG (a very important category bc I actually do not understand how these people don’t have thousands of ppl following them??)

WINNER: @the-pontiac-bandit​ OKAY let me tell you about carrie and her blog. I spent a solid 60 mins reading her amazing writing and admiring her theme and then I checked her reblog and she had the #under500 tag and I yelled. not kidding. like an actual noise left my mouth because HOW THIS GIRL DOES NOT HAVE A CULT FOLLOWING I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. FOLLOW HER RUNNERS UP: @theartofdreaming1​ aka Vicky who is the sweetest person and SUCH a talented artist!!! @khwabonkeparindey​ anna’s blog is so adorable and maybe it’s bc I’m type A but the layout of her navigation actually turned me on a little bit oh my LORD it’s beautiful and so well-organised @two-drink-amy​ I was only gonna have two runners up for this category but nicole and everything about her blog is so sweet!!

BEST URL WINNER: @jake-purealta​ not only does tash seem incredibly lovely BUT this url is so perfect and well-fitting!!! I feel like, given her obsession w Tswift, it fits beautifully well with jake’s obsession too??? everything about it clicks I love it RUNNERS UP: @roscoesantangelo​ because I mean!!!!! you’ve scored the perfect url of jorma taccone’s character in parks and rec!!!? like damn good on u my guy  @amysantiagone​ okay I wont lie this one is for personal reasons- although I happen to absolutely love Nate’s blog- bc for some reason the url reminds me of when u get super drunk and describe urself as “gone” (a v popular phrase here in the UK) and as a result I just picture drunk Amy whenever I see ur URL

BEST EDITS WINNER: @juliadorable​ RIGHT OKAY SO JULIA (julia) is one of these people I’ve always wanted to chat to bc she seems amazing but what I absolutely love about her edits & gifs is that she picks/ creates posts for some of the most underappreciated moments in the show!!! I love em and this blog is a blessing thank u sm RUNNERS UP: @jakeperallta​ aka @deepshadows​ !!! look at these edits immediately oh my god they are actually incredible and so creative!!! i’m not worthy!! fam I love ur edits so much thank u for providing me w this goodness <3 follow alexa immediately on both blogs seriously @brown-aces​ I won’t lie I’m not sure if these count as edits but I legit couldn’t not include you because of THE INCORRECT QUOTES TAG. this is legit one of my fave things and ur posts never fail to make me chuckle

BEST GIFS WINNER: @fourdrinkamy​ okay so not only is Emma gorgeous, talented, super clever and just all-around marvellous BUT her gifs are like... so good they’re satisfying? like I spent a good half hour just scrolling and admiring ‘em RUNNERS UP: @amesantiagos​ okay this girl has such an eye for colour and aesthetic I’m not kidding everything just looks so Good!! like I adore her stuff to the point where I followed her on insta too (hi Amy I’m darcey_wm if ur wondering where I am) bc it just looks so damn good @sergeant-santiago​ I’m just.... like.... shooketh..... I’ll get back to this later

BEST FICS (oh my god what a category I legit could NOT pick someone lol this was painful bc u guys write the best shit)  WINNER: @elsaclack​ this feels a little obvious/predictable of me bc I’ve rambled about em’s stuff before but Dear Fucking God can this woman write. her fics and the way they had me laughing/crying/glued to my phone are the reason I  RUNNERS UP: @peraltiagoisland​ MICHELLE aka the love of my life KNOWS HOW TO KILL ME NO MATTER THE TIME NOR PLACE dear god I recommend so hard,,,, jump in and give the drama club au a spin trust me u won’t regret it  @jakelovesamy​ oh my god okay so let me tell u. let me TELL U i did not realise that this gorgeous girl was on AO3 but then I clicked over from her blog and it all came flooding back once I recognised her handle!!! I recommend u go and read ‘and all my world is losing light’ bc it’s gorgeous @oceanvirus​ again I didn’t mean to have three runners up but I had to bc I’m just..... a piece of shit lol BUT ANYWAY please please go and read Bella’s stuff I love it so much

BEST ICON WINNER: @brown-aces​ GIRL THIS ICON FITS THE THEME SO WELL AND ALSO IT’S THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE ROSA LOOKIN FIERCE so obvs I’m obsessed  RUNNERS UP: @jakelovesamy​ bc it’s adorable and I adore it @three-drink-amy​ bc it’s my beautiful, smiling boy,,,, grinning at this wonderful blog

BEST DESKTOP THEME WINNER: @smolsamberg​ okay kara’s blog is gorgeous anyway (go follow!!!) but this theme is fuckin funky as shit??? navigating it genuinely felt like operating the sexiest lil website on earth and for that I am grateful RUNNERS UP: @bastillebananas​ this theme is FUCKING ADORABLE not kidding I love it omg I had so much fun w it (also hi fellow fan of bastille!! I’m seein ‘em this summer at a festival exciting) @amesantiagos​ this theme is so cute oh my lord (almost as cute as the wonderful Amy who runs this blog!!! seriously it’s just so wonderful and satisfying and Good Choice my guy I love it (and u)

BEST MOBILE THEME WINNER: @swansongcas​ MATE omg your blog is so satisfying and blue and just like.. sexy to look at so well done my guy!!! also helps that I adore ur blog in general but omg is it aesthetically pleasing RUNNERS UP: @oceanvirus​ bella your mobile theme is almost as sexy as u ;) x (I’m sorry if that was creepy I promise it was well-intended) @two-drink-amy​ okay this is partially bc of the adorable icon but mostly bc of the theme and I just... it’s so bright and sweet and honestly just reminds me of my joyous response to every b99 episode ever WHEW OKAY SO BEFORE WE DO THE BEST OVERALL BLOG,,,, I WANNA JUST THROW A FEW SURPRISE SUPERLATIVES / FUN CATEGORIES 

this is also gonna include some honourable mentions bc I am supported by some brilliant people and also bc not everyone I wanted to put in on here I could??? which is crazy so:

A big round of applause to the X-drink Amy crew who I see all the time and firmly believe should all be led by the adorable @full-santiago​ ?? like a little clan of Amy-themed URLs: @two-drink-amy​ / @three-drink-amy​ / @fourdrink-amy​ / @fourdrinkamy​ / @fivedrinksantiago​ / @six-drink-amy​ (I’m sure there’s more of you out there but these came to mind and I want u all to form a band or something)

A big fat shout out to emily aka @jakefreakingperalta​ who!!! made these valentines cards that I used this year for my friends but never knew the source of!!! another example of the funny and amazing ppl I follow here

an honourable mention for the amazing @tiadorable​ whose comments on my first works on AO3 (and my more recent stuff, too!) made me smile and motivated me so much <3 now for some superlatives!! follow these people rn!!! and if ur here please feel free to come ask me to write or make anything for u ever I love u 

most likely to lure me onto the sin train and never look back: my girl erica aka @startofamoment.... can u believe.... the creativity and the happiness/giggles this lady brings me 

most likely to literally ruin my fucking life thru writing: obviously em?? aka @elsaclack. I appreciate this is a fairly harsh title but dear god the things u could make me feel?????? also a brilliant woman i love u

most likely to always have complete faith in me, chat to me constantly, make me smile, & constantly be a complete angel w a heart of gold and amazing writing: @peraltiagoisland. need I say any more????

OKAY so the big 1:

BEST OVERALL BLOG RUNNERS UP: everyone who reblogged my first post. not a cop out. not kidding. u guys are amazing WINNER: @sergeant-santiago​  okay okay okay let me tell u about this blog. everything from content to quality stuck out to me when I was looking through everything for the blog awards and I was just completely blown away and in awe??? this girl is perfection and if you’re not following her blog then I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY get ur late ass over there bc u are missing the fuck out. I can’t stress this enough!!!!  alright!!! I think we’re about there!! thank you so much (again) for 1.5k. u guys are wonderful