#does the panopticon think my outfit's cute

[sachermorte]

the thing about my extended family is that they're convinced I'm seriously and dangerously depressed because I don't smile in any of my selfies. like you people have known me literally since I was born. I've always hated smiling in pictures. every school picture I've ever taken I was either completely stone faced or looking like the autism creature.

sent this picture to my aunt and she responded inside of two minutes asking if I'm okay. like yes. this is just my face. like I'm at Schwedenplatz, there's no reason to smile here I guarantee you that

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I think what's happening with Taylor and her fanbase is most interesting for what it says about her marketing strategy more broadly and its consequences, even more broadly. I think part of the reason that Taylor Swift has such an intensely parasocial fanbase is because she's encouraged it throughout her career. Franchesca Ramsey has an interesting tiktok about it (that I don't totally agree with, but I think makes the point well). Taylor has always done things to blur boundaries with her fans, like the secret sessions she used to do where she invited them to her home, her team (and even her mom) would choose fans at shows to bring to the VIP box or to meet her backstage (though admittedly I don't know if she's doing that at Eras tour, she's done it in the past), she will periodically like and comment on random tiktoks about her, she jokes on stage that she knows what fans/fandom are saying and references her own fandom jokes. It has obviously served her well in terms of making her career massively successful, but it also clearly has some weird and not great impacts on her fanbase. There's an almost panopticon-like sense that at any given moment Taylor might be watching, and so if fans perform fanhood well enough, they might be "chosen" by her or get her attention. Which is unsettling enough on its own for the ways that it makes what's ultimately a one-sided parasocial relationship feel like it might at any moment actually be two-sided, but I think it also helps explain why her fans are out here putting out statements about her dating Matty Healy, because I think it leads fans to think their random tweet or tiktok might actually reach or impact Taylor, the way it might've if they'd posted an Eras tour outfit that she liked.

Obviously none of that justifies fan behavior or makes it any less troubling. I agree with you that I think if people behave this way parasocially, it suggests something about the way they behave in their actual social lives, and I think it also contributes to the ways that celebrities have a difficult time just existing as people in ways that are undeniably harmful to them as humans (like the crowds following Taylor around NYC). But there's something troubling to me about the asymmetry of it - boundary blurring good when it's for financial benefit, bad when it's strangers having public takes on a celeb's dating life. I think the asymmetry is in part natural, because of course fans can only control their own behavior and response and not the way that Taylor chooses to market her music, but I still just feel pretty icky about it, especially because it's largely operating on an unconscious level. I don't think a fan sees Taylor Swift comment on another random fan's concert video and goes, oh, this is a marketing tactic designed to boost engagement with the artist and encourage the creation of Eras tour content to keep it viral. I think a random fan, especially a young person, sees that and goes, oh, that could've been my tiktok, that could be me, Taylor might notice me and think I'm cute or funny or whatever. There are obviously a lot of differences, but it does in some ways remind me of the conversations around the impact of algorithmic content and its unconscious impact on our brains, like whether even people who are intellectually aware that they're being served more content that makes them feel angry, because that gets the most engagement, are still impacted by seeing that content. I don't think it necessarily lends itself to an actual answer, but I do think it's extra unsettling as more artists use similar marketing tactics to engage their fanbase on social media.

I've seen this argument before and while I think there might be points that are worth considering - I completely and utterly reject the idea that it has any relevance to fans response to Taylor being in a relationship. In fact the idea that Taylor's engagement with fans might be relevant to the fact that fans engage her relationships to me crosses boundaries.

To me the key question is: Do you think that everyone who you invite to your house gets a say on your relationships? (Or even more precisely - do you think everyone who you invited to your house 4 years ago gets a say on your relationships now?) I sure hope the answer is no - and if the answer is no for you - then what the fuck could the fact that some fans were invited to Taylor's house have to do that some fans (probably not the same people) think they have a say on her relationship.

There is an argument that the fact that Taylor responds to social media content and sometimes references internet communications contributes to people's belief that they can communicate to her through internet content like an open letter. But my problem with the open letter is not that people are trying to communicate with Taylor. It's that the letter shows a belief that fans get a say over Taylor's life.

I also want to push back a bit at your idea that there's an asymmetry in how boundaries being blurred are being judged. Your model seems to be that there is a set of boundaries that should exist an artist and a fan and that any depature from that from either side is crossing boundaries.

That's not how I think boundaries work. I don't think Taylor was crossing any boundaries when she invited people to her house four years ago. Anymore than I was crossing boundaries when I invited someone to my house today. That's the whole point of boundaries - we get to decide who comes to our personal space.

Likewise "strangers having public takes on a celeb's dating life" isn't a problem and has nothing to do with boundaries. Having opinions publicly about someone doesn't cross any boundaries - we're not entitled to control what everyone says about us. There's a huge difference between having opinions about someone in public - and making those opinions the person's problem. Fans are entitled to say whatever they like about Taylor's relationship - and change their behaviour in any way. But to make demands about what she should do about fans feelings - that's very different.

I do think there are useful and interesting conversations that can be had about Taylor's actions towards her fans - the personal element, the marketing element, and the impact on her fandom. I just don't think boundaries is a useful model for that discussion, or that it has any place in the discussion of fans' entitlement over Taylor's relationships.

[sachermorte]

distracting myself from being in one of my least favorite ubahn stations by practicing taking selfies from underneath, as is the style of the day amongst the Youths™

I'm not sure I'll ever be fully comfortable with it (I'm extremely insecure about my double chin) but I like this one more than expected

also the elastic in one of my favorite bracelets keeps stretching and I'm scared to death it's going to snap one day and I'll lose the beads. I wonder if it's worth getting restrung or if maybe I can just do it myself?

[sachermorte]

some part of me swears up and down that if I hang around here in a nice outfit for long enough then some of the luxury will rub off on me

may the spirit of prinz eugen smile down upon me and give me blessings of success, wealth, and homosexual exploits. I too am a little ugly, eugen, tell me how you did it

in practice it's actually way too hot to be wearing this but I wanted to get one last decent outfit in before the 30 degree temperatures next week will make me dress like a little goth boy scout

also these pants are somehow newly too tight and I'm not sure if the jeans plus the skill scarf are marrying well or not. vote hot or not in the replies

[sachermorte]

been feeling kind of untethered from the mortal coil lately so I took some time to do a real photoshoot for the first time in weeks

these pictures were taken while a group of germans with big cameras were waiting for me to gtfo so they could take pictures of the street

I can guarantee you I was taking my sweet-ass time but also if you saw me farting around at Spittelberg doing this then no you didn't

my mother asked me to try to wear more color to see if that helps me feel better but my heart just isn't in it. also I would love to inexplicably lose weight for once than mysteriously gaining it but that's just the nature of my fucked up hormones I guess

I drank too much coffee this morning so I'm glad these came out as well as they did because otherwise I would be on the verge of tears all day until I crash and take a nap in approximately ninety minutes

[sachermorte]

earrings pt. 2

my mother asked me for a photo and insisted I smile, only to IMMEDIATELY respond "not like that. you look like you're plotting something"

[sachermorte]

my boss asked me if I dressed to match the weather on purpose or if it were a coincidence

I was like "guess"

[sachermorte]

@lumniated

das leben ist nicht so schlimm

[sachermorte]

filed under "pics to send my mother to rile her up"

[sachermorte]

me when I've seen enough

I did generally get some very nice pictures the other day

[sachermorte]

already dressed for a fancy event I'm going to in four hours because I love to dress like a conservative shitbag for no good reason but I'm very much reenacting the meme of the whitest dude you know in a suit on his way to his corporate job listening to gangster deutschrap

fun fact about my outfit today: the pin is called a becket star, and was traditionally worn by those who had made a pilgrimage to canterbury, much as in chaucer's canterbury tales

[sachermorte]

had a fantastic photoshoot today and thrifted a truly beautiful burgundy corduroy buttondown which will make for an excellent light jacket

desperately need a haircut

bonus from the café earlier today

[sachermorte]

roderich hetalia goes to the cafe: a fanfiction told in pictures

if you ain't schemin' you ain't dreamin'

[sachermorte]

wondered why I'm getting stared at more than usual and then remembered I'm wearing a silk ascot

pov: you're just trying to get from point A to point B and then you see This Fucking Guy™ pretending to be an extra from rose of versailles

[sachermorte]

I was told I look "kinda gay" in this photo. and during pride month no less

full outfit for reference. blue is probably not my color

[sachermorte]

sometimes I wonder why my family asks me if I'm depressed when I post selfies where they can see them and then I remember that I look like this in every photo