#does that make me the universe's biggest bimbo or what

[stardustinthesky]

I was checking the entry for Aeryn Sun on the Farscape Fandom Project on wikia for some minor info, and came across this:

Worried about the health of her fetus after the Scarran interrogation, Aeryn visited a surgeon while onboard Grayza's command carrier near Katratzi. She discovered that the Scarrans had released the fetus from stasis during her capture; and confirmed what she already knew, that it was indeed Crichton's child.

I always thought she was the one to decide to release the fetus from its stasis, so I immediately rewatched the scene on the boat when she tells John, and now I'm feeling like the most galactically stupid bitch ever because her behavior in Bad Timing (and later in PKW) makes so much sense if you consider that she didn't actually choose to activate the pregnancy, because the Scarrans made that decision, and that she spent the episode not knowing how to tell John the baby was coming, whether they liked it or not.

[ktheist]

01 — show me yours & i’ll show you mine | m

“then won’t you fuck me right now? i’m already wet for you.”

“not tonight,”

➙ muses. seokjin x college student / gamer!reader ft. best friend! taehyung

➙ genre. best friend’s brother au. university au. working au. fwb au. 

➙ word. 5k

➙ warnings. explicit content, reader coming onto seokjin who’s still hung up about how he watched over her and his little brother, taehyung, all these years, they’re six years apart, fingering, rimming.

➙ index. 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | finale | side story 1 |

➙ synopsis. you’re a horny bunny yet kim seokjin always seems to manage to slide out of your grasps like a fox every time.

follow these two as they embark on a sexual adventure whilst keeping their relationship on the low from kim taehyung who may or may not just pull out the (your) best friend and (seokjin’s) brother card to call a time-off on them for good.

➙ note. if you’re used to reading my fics, this one is a little different. it focuses less on healing and more on getting it on w your best friend’s brother ykwim.

also, if you’re not okay with the age gap or the nature of their dynamic, keep it to yourself. block and don’t engage. much love x

x

“i watched you grow up!” seokjin shouts right in your face as he leans so far back against the counter, you thought his back would break.

“exactly,” a suggestive smirk curls on your lips as you lean your breasts against him, making sure the angle allows him to have an eyeful of your voluptuous slopes, “i’m grown now.”

but your words seem to have snapped him out of your wonderful spell, eyes going round with realization, “you’re nineteen!”

“and,” your finger teasingly travel up from his chest and a few inches above dip of his collarbone where the protrusion of his adam’s apple dips and stops at, “legal.”

“taehyung will kill me,” he reasons, large, secure hand wrapping around your wrist before he holds it away from his throat.

“only if he knows,” your free hand caresses the noticeable protrusion in his pants that’s pressing deliciously against your stomach.

seokjin’s mouth opens and closes twice but no words come out. and he’s not exactly making any moves to hold your teasing hand away from his boner.

“please, seokjin?” with a voice as sweet as angel’s and a tilt of head just in the right angle, you give him your best puppy eye, “i can’t take it anymore, after i saw how hung you were last month when i accidentally walked in on you in the bathroom... you’re all i think about - and you weren’t even hard back then!” you giggle when his hand finally captures yours when you try to pull down the zipper of his pants.

seokjin’s lush lips glisten from his tongue swiping out to wet them - you may not have spent as much time with him than with his brother but you know that whenever he does that little tongue thing and seem to stare off into nothing in particular - it’s because he’s heavily considering the possibility of delving into whatever that had his head occupied.

but before he can even say a word, the sound of keys jiggling from the other side of the door echoes into the space where you’d trapped him, in the middle of twirling around with a newly filled glass of water. you’d easily took the glass out of his hand, noting the way he arched a brow but silently watched as you placed it on the counter next to him before you boxed him between you and the counter.

“...that’s why i’m telling you! we need more cheese!” taehyung walks in with two bags of groceries, head craned towards his elder brother and middle child of the kims - namjoon who only shakes his head at the younger boy’s antics.

“we already bought three packets of cheese,” by the time namjoon’s pointing out the unbelievable bought, you’re already helping taehyung get the backs off his hands and placing them on the counter across where seokjin stands, front facing the counter, boner hidden underneath and hand gripping the poor glass until his knuckles turn white.

“oh my god, spicy carbonara ramen!” you squeal, finding out the signature light pink packet before setting that aside - you don’t trust anyone in this house to not steal your food unless you keep it safe in your room.

“you’re too obsessed with that thing,” taehyung asserts from next to you, sitting on one of the stools, eating out of the bag of cheese-flavored chips.

“uh-huh, maybe if seokjin or namjoon says that, i’d take it more seriously,” you don’t miss the way the eldest brother’s eyes sweeps up to you in an automatic response to his name.

to anyone else, your smile would look as if you’re sharing the same humor for teasing taehyung.

“uh, i’m like the boss of moderation,” taehyung waves a dismissive hand.

“the three packets of cheese in the fridge disagrees,” you twirl around, stealing the bag out of his grasp and leaning against the counter as you place one chip into your mouth.

you notice seokjin padding towards the hallway where the rooms are and somewhere at the end, lies the infamous bathroom you speak of that changed your life forever.

x

the kims and your family have known each other for years. having been next door neighbors, it’s almost inevitable that you’d be best friends with the same-age, truck toy-wielding boy. your parents didn’t need to worry when they didn’t find you in your room - they could just ring up the kims’ and ask if their daughter were over without telling them which, most of the time, was the case.

you didn’t get to hang out at school because you went to an all-girls school and taehyung and his brothers went to a co-ed school. seokjin was the kinder but still fun to hang out with brother but wasn’t around most times. he was already in high school when you were in elementary - had his own set of friends, joined robotics for the entirety of his high school career which made him immesurably busy. namjoon’s alright but he’s more quiet and also somehow managed to get you and taehyung to do your homeworks even though you initially came over to get away from your parents nagging you to do said homework.

you should’ve seen that diplomatic but persuasive nature of his would have landed him a job in one of the biggest firms in seoul. seokjin took on a much different route, choosing to work for samsung’s sister company that specialized in r&d-ing micro-everything that goes into the phone - which is also in seoul.

you and taehyung got into the same university but the different in majors yet again obstruct you from hanging out whenever you wanted to which was why you were almost always around in the weekend at the kim brothers’ shared apartment. that meant sacrificing your back, sleeping on the thinly layered futon taehyung bought for you on sale because he finally took pity on your sleeping on the couch and suffering from back pains every morning (they were exaggerated and taehyung knew but you guessed his guilty conscience got the best of him).

“what? so your girlfriend found out i’ve been crashing at your place and she wants you to choose between me and her?” you’re in front of the laptop (they don’t have a tv) in the living room, eating a bowl of ramen while taehyung has his cheesy burrito, the movie freezing in the screen before you turn to him with the most, you’d say, nasty frown.

“i mean - she just said a girl and a guy shouldn’t be sleeping together in a room regardless if one’s on the bed and the other’s on the floor,” taehyung’s avoiding your eyes and that’s how you know he’s actually debating following that snobbish little bitch’s instructions.

now, you don’t call just anyone a bitch but when you do, she’s on your ‘don’t fuck with’ list.

“do you see my girlfriend complaining about us sharing a room when me and her were dating?” you point out in a matter of factly.

“th-this and that are two different things!” taehyung slams the burrito onto the plate in his lap and slams said plate onto the coffee table.

you say slam but it’s really possibly just a tad bit aggressive than what taehyung’s like usually.

“how is it different?” the bowl of ramen clicks sharply when you place it on the coffee table too.

“i-it just is,” taehyung shrugs.

“i can’t believe you’re choosing some bimbo over me!” hand over your chest, you look at him dramatically, jaw hanging loose and eyes accusing.

“you’ve been sleeping in the living room before i got the futon. it’ll just be like one of those days, you know what i mean?” he shrugs - or at least attempts to look casual about it.

“look at this place! it’s not even big enough to fit the futon,” hands flailing, you gesture towards the minimal space on the floor.

“it’s fine, we can move the coffee table somewhere-” taehyung still tries but you’re already vexed-marching towards the hallway with your bowl of ramen without another word.

to just about anyone, it would’ve been obvious that you’ve had it with your best friend. but taehyung being taehyung is probably desensitized to your anger fits because this time, he does sound casual when he shouts, “what about the movie? can i continue watching without you?”

“do whatever you want!” you shout back before slamming the door behind you.

it takes you a moment to gather yourself before you notice the heat of a pair of eyes on you from all the way across the room. seokjin lies in bed with his laptop on his lap, pillows elevating his upper body. he’s staring at you with arched brows and cute naturally puckered lips.

“oh, don’t mind me. i just had a fight with taehyung and i can’t stand to see him right now,” you say, walking over to the vacant table and chair, “do you mind if i finish my ramen here?”

“be my guest,” before he even lifts his hand from the laptop to gesture towards said desk, you’re already plopping down with a “thanks!”

soon enough, the tapping sound of his keyboard fills the otherwise silent room. you don’t know how long time’s passed but you’ve already finished your ramen and scrolling through instagram on your phone when you see seokjin’s latest post.

he’s sitting in a cafe, dressed in a denim jacket over a white turtle neck with a cap casting shadow over his eyes. the angle he has head head lowered makes it all the more difficult to see his expression. only his soft kissable lips are visible.

so you double tap on the picture before going into gallery and scrolling through your own pic. there’s one with you standing in front of a brick wall, clad in all black, bringing out your colorful eye makeup in conjunction with pride month. the way you’re standing accentuates your curve, bringing attention to your hips after the beholder would be done with admiring the emotions in your eyes.

you have taehyung to thank for that picture but you’re not about to tag him for credit because you haven’t really forgave him. he’s on his phone since it dinged with a notification, probably from you liking his picture. but he hasn’t even looked at you once throughout the course of that and you posting a new picture.

relentless, open up snapchat, posing for a picture and making sure the frame captures the sight of your perked breasts as you stick the tip of your tongue out, smirking and biting on it ever so gently.

with a caption of ‘don’t have a bedroom to sleep in tonight, can i sleep in urs, ggukie-yah?’

it takes a second and a half for him to set his phone down... and go back to his laptop. the tapping sound continues without even the slightest hiccup to it - and he’s already opened your snap.

so with that, you stand up, pick up your bowl, making sure to stand in a way that makes your hips more curved and breasts more defined, “well, i guess i need to get out of here since taehyung’s jealous ass girlfriend doesn’t want me sleeping in his room.”

“hm?” his brows raises at that, “you’re leaving? but it’s night time.”

your dorm is at least half an hour away and it’s too expensive by grab - you usually go back on monday with taehyung since he has a car. but since you’re not on speaking terms, both you and seokjin know that even if the youngest brother offers to drive you back - you’d straight out refuse him. would probably even say something along the lines of your friendship being over and that he has no obligations to ensure you return safely. all of it’s gotta be dramatic though. maybe add in crocodile tears.

“i’d probably stay over at a friend’s at least he’ll lend me his bed to sleep in, unlike your woman-choosing brother.” when your hand is on the handle, seokjin stops you.

“this friend... is it ‘gukkie-yah’?” and there goes the fish biting the bait.

“how did you know?” you’d like to think your tilted head and confused, drawn together eyebrows are convincing enough.

“you mistook me for him... i got your snap which was probably meant for him,” he waves his darkened phone screen in the air.

“oh my god, you did?” hand over your mouth, you gasp, “i’m so sorry, that was embarrassing.”

“it’s chill,” he shrugs.

“anyways, i’ll text him on my way there. he usually has no qualms lending a helping hand to a friend in need,” and with that, you twist the doorknob.

“are you guys... close?” the question hits the air with a different kind of tone.

“kinda,” you say, face struggling to stay neutral when you see the way his eyes glint with a dangerous gleam, “we were fwb’s in freshman year before i started dating yoona... might continue where we left off.”

“cool,” is all he says before he goes back to his laptop, the incessant tapping sound echoing throughout the room. not even a glance is spared at you the whole time you slip out of the door and close it behind you.

taehyung’s eyes catch yours for the briefest second and before he can even say anything (he looks like he would’ve said hi like he didn’t just choose his girlfriend over you), you’re holding up a hand, “don’t talk to me. i’m still mad at you for choosing a girl over me.”

as soon as you’re done washing the dishes, you pad back towards the hallway, not even caring that taehyung’s not bothering to get up from his spot or pausing the movie to talk to you - guess you’re both in that stage where you know no matter how mad the other is, they’ll never be mad enough to break the friendship for forever.

either way, if your best friend already exiled you from his room and your crush doesn’t even care about you going over to another boy’s place, you might as well actually go over to said boy’s place.

at least jeongguk’s dick game is good.

“you’re really going?” seokjin’s sillhoutte leans against the door frame whilst you’re stuffing your clothes into a h&m’s paper bag.

“yeah, like, i’m done. i’m not gonna let that bimbo think she won,” you huff while in the middle of shoving your headphones on top of the neatly folded pile.

“you can sleep with me,” as soon as he said those words, you can see panic spread through his face as he quickly adds, “in my room- on the bed- i can sleep on the floor.”

“why can’t we sleep in the same bed?”

his eyes follow the sweater that you were in the middle of folding and discard, tossing it onto taehyung’s bed.

“you and taehyung don’t-” he starts but you’re convulsing in disgust.

“ew,” you manage to hold back your rising bile. so he stays quiet. clad in a creme colored sweater that makes him look cozy and warm, “why’d you think i never complained about sleeping on the couch or on the floor? it’s cause i don’t wanna catch his cooties!”

okay, so maybe that was a lie. taehyung may be cootie-less but you’ve never been the huggy-cuddly kind of best friends. for one, it’s because you both did believe that touching the opposite gender will actually render your whole body spotted with incurable diseases and before you know it, you both were allergic to physical contact with each other at least.

seokjin doesn’t seem to believe so, otherwise he wouldn’t be shaking his head and smiling to himself.

“does that mean we can sleep in the same bed?” you cross the short distance between the bed where you’re standing over and to the door, putting on your best puppy eye.

“sure, why not?” seokjin caves like he always does back then.

you squeal in delight, arms wrapping around his waist as you give him a big hug whilst he freezes under your touch but doesn’t tell you to go away, “eeep, thanks!”

it’s almost as if the incident at the kitchen this afternoon was just a dream.

x

taehyung has tried talking to you - you say talk because no word of apology slipped through his mouth - but you’re having none of it, hiding behind seokjin’s big bro influence, or so you’d like to call it, when he burst through his eldest brother’s door, demanding for his best friend, “i know she’s in here!”

“she is,” seokjin says simply and you’re about to shoot him accusatory looks before he chuckles, “but she doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“____, come on, the squad’s all ready to play,” so that’s what he’s after.

over the years, you and taehyung have gathered your own like-minded people when it comes to video games. you don’t own a personal computer so your laptop suffers for it but the upside is that you get to bring it everywhere and it’s a pretty sturdy, gamer laptop.

“i’m playing here,” you say, laptop already set up on seokjin’s desk, headphones on.

“okay, whatever,” with a roll of his eyes, taehyung closes the door, leaving you and seokjin alone again.

and so it goes, you giving rapt attention to the game and the occasional comments spilling out of your lips when one of you make a dumb mistake or when one of you manage to kill off the enemy team’s avatar until you end up being killed yourself.

“what?” jeongguk - oh, he’s part of the squad - drags out as if he couldn’t belive his eyes.

“that’s cheating, bro,” taehyung’s voice rings in your earphone, “they literally ganged up on ___!”

“shit, shit, shit, shit, we’re gonna lose,” hoseok chants like a mantra.

“no, we’re not gonna lose,” you can just hear jimin rolling his eyes.

“bro, stop capping! we lost our fighter!” hoseok is at a point where he’s shrieking now.

“well, take however-long-it-takes-for-me-to-respawn, i guess,” you say in the middle of them arguing that they still have a hybrid fighter who is jeongguk.

either way, you’re already standing up, stretching your stayed-in-one-position-for-too-long limbs just in time for seokjin to walk in with a towelette draped over his head - you remember him using those cute little printed ones back then to dry his face after he brushed his teeth and cleansed his face. sure enough, he looks as fresh as the air that you’re about to take.

“you’re going to bed?” you ask the obvious.

“yeah, don’t worry, you don’t have to turn off the lights.”

“oh, don’t worry, i’m used to playing in the dark - my eyes are immune,” you wave a dismissive hand.

then he steals a glance at your laptop where your headphone lies next to it, emitting the lowest mumblings from your squad.

“you died?” he asserts - it’s obvious because otherwise, why would you even be talking to him.

“yeah, i think i’m gonna go wash my face now too.”

and with that, you’re out of the door, bursting in taehyung’s and shaking his shoulders to distract him as he reports the act of disturbance you’re comitting to the squad before you leave for the bathroom where your toiletries have made home in the cabinet along with taehyung’s belongings whilst namjoon and seokjin opts for placing theirs on either corners of the sink.

when you’re back, the room is already dark with your laptop being the only thing guiding your steps. there’s a lump underneath the blanket on the left side of the bed and another bright light casting sight on seokjin’s face as he scrolls through his phone.

he doesn’t bat an eye when you climb over, only looking up when it’s too late. thanks to his phone light, you can see how his eyes widen as he gazes at you with a mixture of disbelief and confusion.

you just pecked him on his cheek.

“good night,” and with that, you bound over to your laptop, noting that you’ve already respawned and getting shit talked by your squad for your tardiness and almost being the cause that the whole team was going to lose.

but fifteen minutes in, you make a blunder that causes the whole team to lose, “alright, alright, i don’t think i’m in my zone right now. maybe i’ll hit the sack.”

a chorus of protests erupts through your headphone as jeongguk starts calling you out on uncanny ability to stay up all night playing.

“i’m hitting twenty!” you dramatically moan, “my body doesn’t work like it used to!”

the protests floods in one more time but by then, you’re already saying your goodbyes, making sure to give taehyung a warning not to come bursting into seokjin’s room because he’s already asleep and you don’t want to get kicked out for being the cause his little brother disrupted his sleep to find the best friend he’s housing after she got exiled.

“seokjin?” you whisper into the dark, climbing onto the bed for the second time of the night but this time, you’re on top of the human-sized lump.

when no answer comes from the man, you giggle, “please, i heard your phone shutting off when i was telling the boys i was going to bed- had one headphone over my ear and the other off.”

only then does the man underneath you move, his tone bearing a warning, “taehyung is right across the hallway.”

“shh,” you’re groping blindly, but lady luck deems that you find seokjin’s neck and then his plump lips with ease, “then we better be real quiet.”

unlike this morning, he isn’t as deflective. doesn’t tell you to stop even when you’re grinding directly over him. and boy, is he hung.

“you know,” he lets you pry the sheets off him, kicking it off his feet completely as you take a seat on his hardening self, breasts pressed against his chest as you slowly lay yourself on him, “i was hoping you’d fuck me when i was playing,” his heartbeat is deliciously erratic, “bend me over the desk and fuck me while i talk to my friends like nothing’s happening.”

seokjin’s teeth grazing over your thumb that you use to shush him comes off as a pleasant surprise. your only regret is not letting the laptop stay on so you’d at least be able to see what kind of expression he’d make.

“you might not be able to keep your moans in on your first time with me,” the unadulterated confidence reeking off him is enticing. so ever different from the kim seokjin who’d throw around dad jokes in the house whenever the four of you sit down to have dinner, “none of the ladies i slept with could.”

“is that a challenge?” you don’t pretend to hide your excited tone as you shoot up, eyes searching for a face but all you see is darkness.

but you feel him underneath. you smell his fresh minty breath. you hear his deep breaths. you feel him.

“touch me,” it doesn’t take long for you to find both of his hands after you took off your tanktop and bra, mainly because they’re caressing your ass. all you do is cup them over your exposed breasts.

his hands are larger than jeongguk’s. they swallow your voluptous breasts like they were quarter sized cups. but by god, does he know how to fondle a woman. he teases you, grazing his thumb over your erect nipples ever so gently that you crave for more. it’s no surprise that when his hand snakes behind you and pulls you down, you easily submit.

you’ve always wondered how his lips would feel on you - but you never thought the first thing they’d be on is your nipple. suckling and biting tenderly whilst his hand makes sure your other nipple is kept accompanied.

“ah!” a mixture of a moan and a shout escapes your lips when he bites a tad too hard. teasing. testing the waters.

“for a little minx, you’re quite sensitive,” his chuckle is as warm and endearing. too warm and endearing for someone who’s doing things he shouldn’t do to his precious little brother’s best friend.

“the boys dig it,” you remark, not knowing that it would spark a fire that burns so bright, it can only be put out by your silent suffering as he flips you two over.

“that’s right, you’ve only ever had boys,” it’s not a question and even if it is, you wouldn’t have the time to answer because you’re yelping in surprise at the coolness that licks your entrance, legs forced open by seokjin’s knee.

“and girls- ah!”

a lone, single fingerpad rims around your opening. and that’s all it takes for you to swallow thickly. breath coming out bated with anticipation. heartbeat racing.

“let’s see, if you don’t make a sound, i’ll fuck you while you play next time,” he slips the tip of his finger in as if testing you, hoping you’d moan right when he sets down his offer on the table. your bottom lip hurts from suddenly forcing your teeth on it but that’s a small price to pay especially when you haven’t heard of the second half of the deal, “if you do make a sound, we stop this whole thing - no more teasing, no more seemingly innocent little gestures.”

“alright, bet,” that might’ve come off a little prickly, but it’s all seokjin’s fault! if he wasn’t hung like a horse, you would’ve taken one speculative glance and left him to his own devices!

the sweet chuckle echoing off the walls is disarming. so much so, when he slips one digit into you, your back arches and you’re biting into the pillow to stop a moan from escaping.

“is that a moan i hear? since we just started, i’ll let you off the hook,” there it is again, that disarming trickle of hymn as he slips in and out of you, loosening you up for something much, much bigger.

“it was a cough, god damn it,” you barely manage to get that out before you’re shoving your curled index finger into your mouth when he starts inserting two fingers inside without so much as a warning.

“that’s cheating!” you whine but your legs spread wider anyway.

“all is fair in war and sex,” he comments, free hand pinning your hips down on the bed before he starts thrusting his digits faster, the squelching sound of your juices reverberating against the walls - you fear that even without your moans, the two other brothers that are walls apart would’ve heard and come knocking on seokjin’s door.

along with the fear comes the electrifying euphoric sensation that courses from the tip of your toes to your core and all over your body. you remember clawing at seokjin’s hand that’s pinning you down because of how unbearably rapturous he’s making you feel. you remember his hand not budging a single inch from your meek attempts. you remember trying to bring your legs together but something’s wedged in between them. you remember tears pricking your eyes as the background slowly fades - taehyung’s presence in the room across from where you are, the possibility of namjoon coming back and walking down the hallway right as your back arches upwards and toes curling inwards as sparks course through your veins.

when your senses come back, seokjin’s in the middle of complimenting your hardwork, if “not bad” is even plausibly a praise. his fingers are still inside you, unmoving, possibly waiting for you to come down from your pleasured state.

“did i pass?” you might have been a little too elated.

“surprisingly,” he affirms, that beautiful sound of chuckles spilling out of his mouth.

“then won’t you fuck me right now? i’m already wet for you,” the last part, you say with a tinge of spoiled-ness.

“not tonight,” he says, before instructing you to lift up your head and slipping his shirt over it. you know it’s his because his heat still lingers when you slip your arms through the arm holes, cheeks hot as you forearm brushes against a nude chest as he pulls the sheets up over you.

but you being you, manage to ruin the moment with your, “why not?”

seokjin hums, that sound alone enough to make your heart shake with a sort of emotion that you can’t pinpoint, “like taehyung says - things are better in moderation.”

“he never said that,” you plainly dispute.

“well,” a kiss lands on the side of your head and an arm drapes over your stomach, just above the area where he used the same hand attached to that arm to pin you down as he fingered you, “let’s just say it’s my way of keeping you from going back to that ggukie-guy.”

you gasp into the dark, “are you jealous?!”

“i sure am,” he admits, a bit too willingly - as if it’s a known fact.

“oh,” you say, lost for words becase - “no one really admits that they are, not the people i’ve been with at least.”

“that’s cause you never been with a man... or woman. but i’d say being with a man - me - is better. i’ll show you what you’re missing out on,” he shushes you up with a “shhh” and a hand on your jaw to turn you towards him.

a pair of the softest lips meets yours and whatever retort you’re thinking up of is already out of the window.

x

note. this is different than what i’m used to writing so i’ll probably need some help!! i’m planning to update this from time to time with scenarios like ‘where he picks you up from your uni’ or ‘wherein he takes you shopping’ - idk djashdsakj send in suggestions that you think will fit oc and seokjin’s dynamic and i’ll incorporate them for the upcoming parts in their (nsfw) adventures to realizing their feelings for each other while also sneaking around behind taehyung’s back! it’s cool if you don’t though! but heads up, my smut writing skills aren’t as good so you’ll probably see more sexy times / implied smut most of  the time lol

 either way, hope yall enjoyed this!

[morethanaprincess-a]

@the-lytenye-realms​ asked:  What is the biggest headcanon deviation from the canon material that you have incorporated into the way you write your muse? Why did you come up with it?

Questions for Muns of Canon Muses - Accepting throughout Monday!

Admittedly, a lot of my headcanons come from the sheer fact that Danganronpa just doesn’t give a lot of details I wanted about Sonia, and so I came up with them on my own. But the two biggest ones I can think of that Danganronpa: S decided to continue with (as it’s fresh on my mind, of course):

- Danganronpa: S insinuates, from Sonia’s conversation with Celestia, that Novoselic has beaches. Frankly, I don’t care for this headcanon (unless a riverbank counts) for the following reason: considering what we know about Novoselic and my interest in injecting some amount of realism on this blog, it just doesn’t make sense.

It’s a small kingdom, yes. Which could, in turn, imply that it’s an island of some sort. But with Novoselic’s exports (wine and chocolate) and the fact they’ve never been invaded...it just leads me to believe it’s more akin to landlocked country. Admittedly I take some inspiration from Monaco and Luxembourg for some things, but from the above traits listed in the game? The only thing that makes sense to me is somewhere like Switzerland, and therefore I headcanon Novoselic is basically the western half of Switzerland: on this blog, Switzerland is split down the middle, with Novoselic being the western half of it. 

I also like the excuse of Sonia knowing how to downhill ski, based on that one DR3 art of Class 77-B enjoying winter sports/amusements.

I also like the idea of Sonia visiting a beach for the first time in SDR2. Everything is already so new, shiny, and wonderful for her, let the beach be included in that!

- Sonia’s (weird, sometimes adorable) speech patterns. Now, I don’t disregard the fact that she has them. I just think her ability to mix up Japanese words and phrases makes more sense in the context of the DR3 anime or the SDR2 game, where she’s very new to the country and its customs. She’s learned Japanese from teachers and books, but coming to the country and speaking it day in and day out (much less reading and listening to it)? That’s a different experience altogether. And while she’d struggle at first, I believe that if she’s there for months/years, she would have a better grasp on the language, including innuendo and idioms, during her later years at Hope’s Peak. And especially after she graduates/her university verse/her adult verse.

It’s why that, in her older verses, I have her using less outdated slang and mixed-up phrases. They happen on occasion, but not nearly to the extent they occur in her high school verse. 

And that’s why I disagree with the Danganronpa: S headcanon that, after three years, Sonia’s still making the same (kind of sad, kind of adorable) mistakes. Because she’s still learning, and she’s got plenty of friends to tell her when something’s wrong/doesn’t make sense/maybe she should say this instead. I feel like the canon does it just to make her look like a bimbo and she’s not that. Not with all of her skills, her caring heart, and her drive to keep learning.

[pompadorkery]

What do you mean you find it hard to relate to female characters. It's a fictional universe, you can make them anyway you want. Lucy is pretty feminine and Anglo too. I realize almost all the moms of your ocs are bad or thier children hate them. I understand that you have an abusive mom but do you really have to projected on every character you have. Do you have something against women or your just not attracted to them. Probably the latter because all of your ocs are sex dolls.

Wow. Where to even start with this one.

Why do you think the majority of Hollywood action heroes or video game protagonists are cis white males?

It's because it's the easiest to relate to for the biggest demographic of their audience.

Many anime have just a boring plain normie male protag for the same reason. They're supposed to be easily relatable, and like a blank slate that you can project on.

For me, female characters are hard to relate to.

Growing up, I never cared for female protags or love interest characters. And usually actively disliked them. (Much of this is because female characters are generally poorly written in alot of media, but that's besides the point)

I have never felt "in touch" with womanhood. I could never relate to female characters because none of them were like me, or had the same thoughts or struggles I had.

The female characters I like now are generally mold breaking. They don't fit in the typical box. And they give me something I can relate to.

For example:

Mako Mankanshoku from Kill la Kill. She's an absolute idiot and a total bimbo. She eats alot, she's loud, she's kinda useless at times, and she cares alot about her friends.

Satya "Symmetra" Vaswani from Overwatch. First of all, she's on the autism spectrum. She's rigid, stubborn, and can often come across as mean- but in reality she's just very goal oriented and likes things to be orderly.

While these are very different characters, I find alot of things in them that I can relate to and identify with. Not every aspect is true at all times, and there are plenty of things in their characters that I can't relate with, but regardless, there are aspects of myself that I can see in characters like them.

I've always related better to male characters. And like I said, much of the time female characters aren't written well, while the male characters are. I just always found them cooler. I liked their designs more, and they had more interesting stories. Whereas many female characters entire plot revolves around getting with the protag.

I've struggled with gender my entire life. I never felt like a girl. Even the people around me would say that I was such a "tomboy". I would often get told to dress more feminine, or that my haircut made me look like a boy, etc. One of my happiest moments as a teenager was when I got to play a male character in my high school's spring musical and during that entire time everyone referred to me in character, as a boy. I had a great time playing this character, and it really showed through in my performance. I was comfortable for once.

I identify as non-binary now, and I still have alot of questions about my own gender, and I'm still figuring alot of things out. But what I know for sure is that I'm not a girl.

Now, getting into my OCs.

You claim that all my OCs have troubled relationships with their moms, because I have a troubled relationship with my own mother.

2 of OCs.

2 of my OCs have mommy issues.

Out of all the characters I have, only 2 have issues with their mothers. So like, are you just pulling things out of your ass, or?

Lucy was abandoned by his mom at a young age and has alot of bitterness towards her because of this. Which is perfectly reasonable given the situation.

Sanka is just a brat. He still loves and cares about his mom, their relationship is just strained due to his own insecurities and self-loathing.

All my other characters either have no mother in the picture at all, or have perfectly fine and normal relationships with their moms.

Neither Sanka nor Lucy's moms are abusive. So it's pretty yikes of you to bring up my own abusive mother in this conversation. What are you trying to prove? In your concocted narrative, I'm writing characters with abusive moms because my mom was abusive and that's the only mother figure I know. So.... I'd be writing from experience.... in what world is that a bad thing?

You also mentioned Lucy and Angelo being feminine. "Feminine male" does not equal "woman". Those are two very different things. Just as a butch woman is not the same as a man. Experiences are completely different. Equating them is extremely sexist, and could be incredibly transphobic if you also think this way about real people.

And claiming I'm not attracted to women because my OCs are 'sex dolls'. Literally what are you even trying to get at? You do realize that real women and fictional characters are different, correct? Plenty of lesbians create stories or art about mlm characters. Plenty of lesbians draw gay porn. Are they not attracted to women because they draw men getting fucked?

I am bi. I also fall somewhere in the ace spectrum, due to alot of my own dysphoria. Of course I'm attracted to women. Real women are so incredibly sexy and beautiful and interesting. What isn't there to like? Just because I like making male characters doesn't somehow mean I hate women. I just haven't been able to create a fictional woman I find as interesting and captivating as real women are.

Also. I just enjoy drawing men. So a majority of my characters are gonna be men. Sue me. Sorry for enjoying myself.

And the whole "sex doll" comment. I answer the questions people ask. Which happens to be alot about sex. What can I say? People have cumbrain.

I'm also an nsfw artist. So obviously alot of the art I create is gonna be porn.

Is that the entire story of the characters? No, of course not! Do you think me and Ren would have enough storyline for an entire book if all the characters did was fuck? There's so much more to it than that. There's so much more that people don't see.

I mean, what's more interesting to see a drawing of:

Two characters in the heated embrace of love making

Or two characters sitting on the couch doing completely different mundane activities

There's a time and a place for everything, and sometimes drawing something simple and mundane is a fun look into a characters life.... But also I just like drawing dicks and the faces of people who are thoroughly wrecked.

Tl;dr- It's not that deep, fam.

[starbornvalkyrie]

what we could be | part one

A/N: This is a Modern AU Rowaelin fic, loosely inspired by some major events in my own life. I’m not sure how long it will be yet, or how often I’ll be able to post, but please enjoy my first fanfic ever!

Let's just… see what happens when I get back.

Those words have been running through Aelin’s mind non-stop. The bomb that Rowan dropped before his study abroad program in Wendlyn was Hiroshima to her heart. 

“I don't want you to feel obligated to stay loyal to me,” he’d said. “I don't want to make those kinds of promises yet.”

During the drive from the airport, Aelin cried. She drove straight to Lysandra’s house and cried some more. A week later, she was finally able to eat a full meal, only to throw it back up. The same with the two meals following that.

“I just don’t understand what was wrong, Lys. I thought we were on our way to a steady relationship.” Aelin sat on Lysandra’s bathroom floor, leaning against the toilet, and looked up at Lysandra who was perched on the edge of the tub.

“Nothing really went wrong, hon. I think Rowan is just being your stereotypical college guy. He met a girl who very well could be the mother of his children, which, naturally, made him panic. I mean, you remember what happened with Aedion.”

Aelin had to snort at that. Her older cousin, Aedion, is Lysandra’s fiancé. But years ago, there was a span of time when Aedion was the biggest idiot and asshole on the planet, failing to see the perfection staring him in the face. 

They had just graduated college, and Lysandra had just been accepted to the University of Adarlan to pursue her Master’s in Fashion Design. But Aedion was off to Perranth to start Basic Training for Terrasen’s Army. Needless to say, Aedion turned into a controlling bastard and tried to convince Lysandra to stay in Terrasen.

Lysandra said no, went to Adarlan, and when Aedion’s eight weeks of BT were over, they reconnected. By no means was it easy, but they made it through. The rest is history.

Aelin had to admit, Lysandra had a point. But that still doesn’t tell her what they do now. Did he say that so he can hook up with foreign chicks without guilt? Or does he think Aelin isn’t good enough?

“I know what you’re thinking, and no, it does not mean that you aren’t good enough.” Lysandra took one of her hands. “Aelin, sweetheart. I know how hard it is for you to be rejected, but look where you are right now. Ten years ago, you were barely a preteen fighting her way through the foster system--”

Aelin closed her eyes as the memories of Arobynn and Sam flooded her mind. Aelin’s parents were victims of a drive-by shooting when she was twelve years old. Aedion’s family didn’t know she existed until she had already endured five years of playing human punching bag and hiding her most prized possessions under her pants while she slept on the floor. At that point, however, it was too late for her Uncle Gavriel to claim guardianship. She only needed to last three more months in hell before she turned 18 and could attend Terrasen University.

Growing up, Aelin was always fueled by pure hope, by her fireheart, as her mother called it. But towards the end, even on her best days, she didn't think she’d make it out of there. She was forced to watch her favorite foster brother, Sam, be beaten to a pulp while another was sent to Juvie. All of her energy was put towards getting good grades and staying on Arobynn’s good side. The former was easy, she was always good at school.

The latter… Well, let’s just say there was an incident with a matchbox, Arobynn’s favorite wrist watch, and a can opener. Aelin still has a scar on her left brow from what went down after that.

“And now,” Lysandra’s voice brought her back to the present. “Now, you are a first generation college student about to graduate with a degree in Chemical Engineering. You alone got yourself a full ride to Terrasen U, and you alone have brought yourself back from the depths of hell to make something with the life the gods gave you.”

“But--”

Lysandra cut her off with a squeeze of her hands. “But nothing, Aelin. I don’t care if this man is your mate. I don’t care if you end up growing old and dying with him. You do not need him to dictate whether or not you are worth something.”

Aelin knew when to argue with Lysandra, but after those words, now was not one of those times.

Groaning, Aelin did what she does best: she got up from the floor and went on with her life. 

When classes rolled around in the third week of January, it was easy for her to forget about Rowan. She only had two more classes and her senior thesis standing between her and her Bachelor’s degree, which hopefully comes with an acceptance into the Pharmaceutical Engineering Master’s Program at Terrasen U.

Fire had always fascinated her. The bunsen burners and hot plates and mixing of chemicals spoke to her in a way that she couldn’t really put into words. But fire, while beautiful, can also destroy. So she chose a field that would allow her to burn while creating methods of healing.

It didn't hurt that her TA, Chaol Westfall, wasn’t bad to look at. Last semester, he had asked her out on a couple dates, but she was already starting to talk to Rowan. It didn’t matter now that the man in question is probably off with some bimbo from Doranelle. His loss, right?

About a month and a half into the semester, Aelin finally worked up the courage to ask Chaol to grab coffee after class. She was packing up her books to head home and get ready when the nausea hit. She haphazardly zipped her backpack and ran to the nearest restroom. As she rinsed her mouth in the sink, she mourned the chocolate cake that was now making its way to the Avery.

Her mourning quickly morphed into panic when she thought about what day it was. As she did the mental math, she ran out the door and beelined for her car. Thank the gods no police were on the road at this time because she definitely deserved a ticket for how fast she drove to the pharmacy, then to Lysandra’s.

Aelin sprinted up the steps to her front door as fast as she could and incessantly knocked on the door.

The door opened to reveal a man with his shirt half unbuttoned, hair in disarray. Aedion scowled at her. “You better have a good fucking excuse for interrupting, cousin.” He said it playfully, but Aelin didn't have the mental capacity to roll her eyes and play along.

She pushed past him and ran to the kitchen, not stopping to think about why she knows their fetishes. Lysandra is tucking her breast back into her dress when Aelin exclaims, “I’m late.”

Lysandra, bless her soul, knew exactly what she meant, and ran to her side. “How late? Did you take a test?”

Aelin let Lysandra guide her into a seat and listened to her command to breathe. “Not yet, but I picked one up on the way here.” She looked Lysandra in the eye. “I always get my period the last week of the month, no sooner, no later. I wasn’t really thinking about it last month because I was so busy planning out my thesis, but…”

“...but it’s the end of February and you still haven’t gotten it,” Lysandra finished for her. “Not to play the Mother Hen part, but were you and Rowan always safe? I thought you were on birth control?”

Aelin shook her head. “My body doesn’t handle birth control well, but Rowan always, always, used a condom. When we didn’t have any, we didn’t do it, end of story. Our relationship was so new, we didn’t even do it that much.”

“Okay, well, condoms aren’t always 100% effective, but let’s not jump to any conclusions. Let’s take this one step at a time. First, drink some water, then pee on the stick. I’ll be with you to read it, and then we’ll figure it out from there, got it?”

Aelin nodded, eternally grateful she didn’t have to go through this with Aedion. The Army must have done something right with his brain because he made himself scarce after he answered the door.

She did the deed, opened the door for Lysandra, and they both sat on the floor holding hands for three minutes.

Aelin already knew what it would show.

Two solid pink lines.

Positive.

---

to my tag list: hello, i’m back, and currently in the process of uploading the rest of this fic! please let me know if you do not want to be on my list anymore, or if you would like to be added! love y’all!

@maddymelv​ || @lucy617​ || @tillyrubes10​ || @faerie-queen-fireheart​ || @tottenhamboys20​ || @the-third-me​ || @superspiritfestival​ || @rolltide7​ || @courtofjurdan​ || @sleeping-and-books​ || @aelinchocolatelover​

[bangtancentricsblog]

jjk/qw: 1

➣ a little something that came about because of Jungkook’s outfit and the way he was mad feeling himself on day 2 of on:e

❒ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

❒ genre: fluff(?), implied smut,

❒ alternative universe: mafia,

❒ rating: 18 +

❒ word count: 1.9 k

warnings/disclosures: no edit we die like men, a little bit of violence, implied smut, Jungkook is tall, dark and handsome, Hoseok is done with your shit, spanking, violence kink?? Is that a think?, cameo from yoongi, joongki must die I don’t think I missed anything but yeah let me know if you see anything!

main ml • AO3

There isn’t much that bothers Jungkook, not by a long shot. He’s a particular kind of man; he takes everything with a grain of salt so he usually isn’t bothered by anything a simple grunt has to say about him. He is however annoyed at the way this grunt speaks of you. All the nasty things he’s got to say about you, how he thinks a cock hungry slut like yourself is fine with anyone as long as they can fuck you stupid. And Jungkook doesn’t like that one bit as he runs the tip of his tongue over his lips. It does nothing to quell the simmering anger that sits beneath the twitch of his fingertips. He can hear a few snickers here and there others throwing in their own thoughts.

Hoseok can see the glazed look that fills Jungkook’s eyes the longer their subordinates speak ill of you. He’s known the younger long enough to understand his limits and this was a limit. It’s a peculiar thing to Hoseok the way Jungkook is with you, he’s soft and sweet but not all the time. And Hoseok will admit he’s walked in on his fair share of your sexual escapades to know that you and Jungkook were something completely different. If he were to compare your relationship to anything he’d say a modern day Harley Quinn and the Joker except with a whole lot less crazy. You two had your moments but he hadn’t seen anything too extreme, yet. The fact was Jungkook ran the biggest underground operations in the world and you, well you were his biggest asset.

Hoseok knew you were good at your job, better than most almost as if you’d been born for it. Now he isn’t saying that you don’t play the ditzy slut well because you do but he knows you’re much, much more than that. You let the underlings believe you’re nothing but a dumb bimbo who likes to sit all pretty in Jungkooks lap when he so pleases. Let them believe you’re nothing but huge tits with a pussy made of gold to have their boss keep you around like he does. It’s laughable really, especially to Hoseok because he knows you.

He knows that Jungkook is the brawn, the face of the operation but you were the brain. You were the reason Jungkook now sat in a gilded throne like the king of an empire when he came from nothing, and he’d done it all for you. Because if Jungkook was king then you were the queen, his queen and Hoseok respected that. So who is he to try and stop Jungkook from harming easily dispensable nobodies? Truth is he could care less but recruiting is slow right now and he doubts Jimin would have anyone ready to replace the empty positions. He’s sighing before he can think better of it, but as luck has it you come waltzing in.

There’s a distinct click clack that comes from your Louboutin heels every time you step foot in the massive warehouse Jungkook runs the operation from. In fact the previous voices have gone quiet as you easily make your way to the back headed straight for the second floor where Jungkook sits and oversees the work of those beneath him. The long sleeved v-neck bodycon dress you wear molds to your figure in a way that grabs the attention of all of those who’d been previously lusting after you, but this outfit is for Jungkook.

You waste no time taking your rightful place in his lap, both legs thrown over his thighs as you sit sideways to better wrap your arms around his neck. Today he’s wearing red, a silk patterned shirt tucked into his pants with nearly all the buttons undone. His chest is out little glimpses of ink peak out from where the shirt lies open for your viewing pleasure. His fingers have found the slight sliver of skin that lies just above the top of your thigh high boots and below the hem of your dress. He’s quick to draw patterns on the only skin available to him, your gaze falls to the necklace that sits pretty at his collar. A thin silver chain you’ve seen once or twice, it makes him look sexier.

“Hello Hoseok.” you chirp never taking your eyes off Jungkook.

“____, to what do we owe the pleasure?” he asks.

“Can’t I just enjoy the company of my boyfriend and his right hand man?”

“No, there’s always something with you.” he sighs gaze moving to Jungkook who has begun to mouth at your neck as you giggle into his ear.

“You guys are weirdly attached at the hip, it’s kinda gross.” Hoseok shudders, before snapping his attention to the sound of voices making their way closer to them. Jungkook, it seems, has also noticed the new arrival pecking your cheek one last time before he’s staring long and hard at one of their subordinates. A boy in his early twenties, Joongki he thinks his name is, personally Hoseok can’t stand him. The boy thinks he’s a hotshot because Taehyung had been nice to him a few times, and had managed to complete a job fairly quicker than some of the others. Had heard him boast that he would definitely be moving up in rank soon, maybe even to the same rank as Yoongi, which was laughable really considering Yoongi did a lot of one man jobs and was good enough to have been recruited to the CIA.

But he supposed a boy could dream, it would take him decades to get to Yoongi’s pay grade and even then it would never happen, not with the way you disliked him. Maybe it’s his arrogance, maybe it’s his swagger (or lack of) but something about his recruitment hadn’t sat well with you. You’d played your dumb bimbo part well when he was around giggling up a storm with him really boosting his ego because it was fun to watch him think your laugh was something he’d said and not actually him. Because as far as you could tell he was a goddamn joke, a real chump and one that they should’ve gotten rid of sooner. But you trusted Jungkook and the boys, so if they kept him around it was for a reason. You’d yet to see it though, today was no different.

Joongki saunters into the room, nose to the sky which already sets you off. Then he’s giving you a once over, the ugly shit brown of his eyes darkened as they zero in on the hemline of the number you’re wearing. You want to wrinkle your nose in disgust because eww you’d never. Then he’s greeting Hoseok and Jungkook like they’re friends, as if he’s on equal standing with them. But what really pisses you off is the way he greets you, the lecherous ‘hey doll’ he let’s slip past his lips makes your blood boil. Heat rushes to your cheeks, warming your skin to the point that Jungkook has to squeeze one of your thighs to reign in your anger.

“Joongki, why are you here?” Hoseok finally asks swallowing thickly, as tension fills the air.

“I’m a higher up now so I’m entitled to the second floor.” He grins, your eyes meet Hoseok’s in confusion, who had promoted this clusterfuck of a human?

“Who promoted you?” Jungkook asks, expression pinched.

“No one directly but Taehyung mentioned a rank promotion a few days ago and I’m the only one worth promoting.” You laugh, an ugly gut busting laugh that fills the halls and startles the others that occupy the floor.

“You stupid, stupid boy.” You say in between hiccups. His eyes narrow at you.

“What would a fucktoy like you know? You’re just here because Jungkook likes an easy fuck.” He spits. Oh what a poor fragile ego he has, you think with a smirk.

“Oh honey I’m more than an easy fuck.” You stand now, easily stepping into his space, in your heels you're a few inches shorter than him. Today was the perfect day for these, you think.

“Yeah, you fancy yourself a housewife? Sorry but whores like you could never be a housewife.” You land a solid blow to his cheek, stupid disrespectful kids. Your hand throbs, the warmed metal of the rings you wear press into your palm as you curl your hand into a fist again. You raise your fist ready to hit him again when a hand wraps around it, pressing into the split skin of your knuckles pulling a hiss past your lips.

“That’s enough, you hurt your pretty hand.” Jungkook says, prying your fingers from the tight fist you hold. Your gaze meets his anger burning in their depths, because this kid was so damn disrespectful. He needed to be put in his place, you refused to let a turd like him talk to you like that.

“Put your bitch in her place.” Joongki spits and Hoseok let’s his eyes fall closed because he doesn’t need to see what comes next.

*

You shove Jungkook against the wall, lips finding the skin of his chest easily. He groans carding his fingers through your hair, tugging on the ends a bit. He’s not surprised that you’d pulled him out the room after he’d beat the shit out of Joongki, it’s one of those things you’d liked about him way before you’d built up this empire. It’s never occurred to him to ask just what you liked about him beating someone up, but he wants to ask now. He wants to know what makes you so much more eager to take his cock, you’re nipping at his jaw, hands tugging his shirt from his pants. He moves to unbutton it but you stop him with a whine.

“Don’t take it off.”

“Hmm?”

“I like it like this, looks sexier.” You sigh, pressing your lips to his a little too desperately.

“Like this, fuck me like this.” You whimper rolling your hips into his. He smirks as you fumble with tugging his pants and boxers down to free his dick. His hands slide under the hem of your dress pulling your panties down, letting they slide down your legs. He pushed the skirt up around your hips landing a solid smack to one of your cheeks, you let out a choked gasp relishing the sting as he smooths his palm over the area. He’s going to thoroughly fuck you, he thinks smirking as you whine needily pressing your tits tighter to his chest.

*

Yoongi stands in the hallway when Hoseok makes his way out the room. He feels like he’s aged years just being in there for that long. He hates when he has to deal with the two of you.

“I saw the lovebirds scurry that way.” Yoongi offers, nodding his head in the direction of the sole bedroom in the warehouse.

“I figured, how’d the job go?”

“Fine, better than expected I had wanted to talk things over with ____, but she’s busy.” He laughs good naturedly.

“Yeah, those two can be domestic as fuck sometimes.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is dangerous. I’ve seen both of them do some pretty crazy shit.”

“Makes you wonder if maybe they’ll ever settle down.” Hoseok sighs.

“This isn’t a family kinda life.” Yoongi mutters, turning on his heel and leaving Hoseok on his own.

[isocrime]

okay so this may just be me assuming - but you generally write top!tony in ults and top!steve in 616 so i was wondering how you would see the flipside come out in both those verses i.e. top!steve in ults and top!tony in 616. do you think (based on your preferences/characterisation) that the former is more natural/preferable/interesting for you to write, or is it just whatever suits the idea you have? curious because you seem a lot more lax re the top/bottom discourse that stevetony is cursed w/

I’ll write either tony and steve topping/bottoming (meaning who’s in the driver’s seat, not who’s pitching/catching) either way depending on what suits the story, but I do definitely have preferences!

For ults, I do indeed tend to write top!tony/bottom!steve I like that dynamic a lot. Steve is so stiff and repressed, desperate for human intimacy and afraid to ask for it. I want to watch him release that and let his walls down, but in a sexy way. Also, Big Buff Sub is one of my kinks, and ults Steve is the biggest and buffest. Tony knows he doesn’t have to hold back, because Steve is superhuman — he can do things he’s fantasized about that would be too unsafe to do with a normal person. Meanwhile Steve could throw Tony off so so easily, but he allows it, even when it makes him squirm with humiliation, which is some intense, sexy submission. Plus he hates himself for wanting it; it means he’s not a real man. He’s not just gay, he’s gay AND he loves to be called a slut and take it up the ass. All the tension and denial!

For top!tony in ults it’s like — he’s such a hedonist and a maximalist (I love his stupid ornate bedroom and his four-poster bed), so I can really imagine him wanting to own Steve for himself and get to do whatever he wants. He lives his social life playing games and obfuscating the truth, wearing these different personas that are all exaggerated and campy and flirty, which makes me think he’d be really good at making the theatrical parts of kink feel real and hot instead of kind of awkward and made up. Tony commits to the bit and doesn’t care if he looks silly — he’s confident he can pull it off so he does. So you have Tony, who’s incredibly deft and motivated and greedy and powerful, and pair him with Steve — clumsy and earnest and so so so needy underneath all the ways he’s denying it — and it’s just delicious.

Then there’s 616, where I like to read things a little differently. Tony is so tightly wound in 616 I want him to let go and let himself have something nice that he doesn’t have to obsess over and make all the choices perfectly or else everything will go wrong forever. Tony needs to turn off his brain and let someone else be in charge. Additionally when Steve and tony are really fucked up and bad for each other (weirdly, I don’t have dysfunctional headcanons about ults steve/tony. i write them as a mess while they’re getting together but long-term I think they do pretty well) I think Tony wants to make up for all the things he feels guilty about, and having Steve fuck him and hurt him and tell him what to do makes him feel better.

Steve, meanwhile, is so earnest and confident and he loves to lead well, so I headcanon that he would find it really natural and satisfying to take charge in bed. I think also all the natural strength and body control makes Steve generally hot as a top. He can really properly overpower anyone and do exactly what he wants to them if he decides to. Hot hot hot. Less healthily, I think Steve yearns to get Tony under control and topping is a way for him to live that fantasy. When Tony submits to Steve, he stops pushing back and doing manipulative shit that drives Steve up the wall. Sometimes Steve just wants to grab Tony and shake him, and kinky sex lets him take some of that frustration out on Tony.  At their most functional, Steve wants to care for Tony and help him be the best version of himself. At their most dysfunctional, Steve wants to punish Tony and force him to do what Steve thinks is the right thing to do.

So, how would I do them the opposite way around? (I am aware this is already super long, I have feelings on this subject apparnently!) For bottom!tony in ults, I think he’d love the game parts of it. There’s a reason kink is called play, and Tony’s all about pretending. Like 616 tony, he’s very tightly wound and could stand to be taken out of his head and given a space where he’s free from responsibility. There’s grief and lousy pain he wants to forget, and Steve is really hot and he wants it, he wants to indulge in something a little taboo that he can make into a joke afterwards, haha you plowed me good, being crude to cover up how much he liked it. (I’m realizing that I tend figure out the dynamic starting from the character who’s bottoming.  Huh — start with what you know I guess!)

Ults Steve as a top is sort of volatile and inexperienced, which makes being helpless around him is sort of risky, and I bet Tony would eat that up. The possibility that it could be a disaster — that he could cause his partner to lose control and get more intense than expected — is titillating.  I think ults Steve wants terribly strongly. And if Tony is the thing he wants, especially if the thing he wants to do to Tony is hurt him, which is a kinky and perverted and bad want to have, Steve would torture himself with guilt and denial and desperate, pent-up lust. Repressed yearning for DAYS. And when Steve snaps and fucks tony the way he wants to, it’s hot and perfect and Steve hates himself for loving it and the more he hates himself the more he’s fucking desperate for it, this thing that’s wrong, he’s not supposed to want to hurt anyone, he’s a good man but he looks at Tony and he wants to take him and leave him wrecked and gorgeous and bleeding.

I actually have an ults sub!tony one-shot on the to-write list, so this is useful brainstorming!  For 616 I don’t have anything planned, but it’s fun to think about how top!tony/bottom!steve would work.

Healthy bottom!steve in 616 is full of love and adoration. He’s given his life to helping people, and I think he’d bring that into the bedroom, this intense desire to serve and give the person he’s in love with all of their favorite things. When everything’s not filled with angst, Steve is a super super sweet sub, eager and earnest and pretty good at communicating what he likes once he gets the hang of it. Also, serum-enhanced cock: Tony can order him to come over and over again, or he can edge him forever and torture him with overstimulation and all of that is hot. Dysfunctional bottom!steve is more like “you betrayed me, you used me, I hate you — do it again.”

Top!tony in 616 has taken his control issues and turned them outward, so instead of wanting to let go instead he loves to orchestrate sex just like he likes to orchestrate solutions to world problems. Plus he’s got the same generosity that Steve has, so he likes being able to give his partner what they want in bed and set things up perfectly so they can feel nice. He brings his natural suave composure to topping, but it’s cut with a sort of soft wonder that Steve’s trusting him with this because his self-esteem is garbage and he can’t possibly deserve someone as good as Steve submitting to him. Then when things are not so pleasant between them, tony uses sex to punish both Steve and himself, taking the thing he wants and beating himself up with it afterwards. He’s addicted to Steve and doesn’t care what’s good for them, he’s going to actively ruin it all.

Obviously some of these elements can be applied to both universes (Steve is always big and buff, yum). There’s a lot of juicy stuff to explore with either top!tony or top!steve, which is why I like both types of fic! The thing that really decides if I like a fic or not is how well the characterization is done and how well it explores a facet of Steve and Tony’s personalities.

I do get a bit bristly about a certain type bottom!tony fic, and about some bottom!pre-serum Steve fic (though the latter isn’t very common in comics universes), but that’s mostly because I find it really infuriating when a fic takes all the agency away from the bottom and replaces their personality with “eager-to-please horny bimbo who’s all weak and fragile.” I’m a contrarian, too, and since there’s more top!steve than top!tony (a quick ao3 tag search gives about a 2:1 ratio for top!steve:top!tony), I like writing the latter. Otherwise, I aspire to be cool, even though I have my favorite dynamics. I love me a wide variety of kinky smut -- the discourse is exhausting and i have bascially infinite salt about how dumb it is.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Set it all free; Queen x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys, well after reading several Bohemian Rhapsody fanfics on some tumblr pages, I thought I might try to have my luck at it. Now please bear in mind this is my first time ever writing a fic about a Band. I don’t normally write about musicians (private message me about my reasons why) but after seeing the movie Bohemian Rhapsody last month, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Anyways I also got inspired after listening to Scar Jo’s song she did in the movie “Sing” to also help with this fic. So I hope you all enjoy this and any Queen fans out there, hope I didn’t make the boys to OOC or make this story suck.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating, bit of angst, fluff over all.

_________________________________________________________

It was a typical day at the studio.  Being a college student doing an internship is a luck of the draw, getting that one in a million chance of interning under the biggest band in the world like Queen. That’s practically almost damned near impossible. But yet here I am.

Jim Beach or as Freddie likes to call him “Miami” hired me to help assist with the band during recording sessions as well as 3 weeks of touring with them.  While being their intern, I got pretty close with the guys, I looked up to them as not only my mentors for music and songwriting (since I play and sing a little bit but never really had the confidence to perform in front of a live audience) but they became like 4 big brothers to me.

Sadly however tomorrow would be last day of the internship before the next world tour of Queen, which meant I wouldn’t see the guys until 6 months until then.  So I tried to make do with the time I had with the guys left.  

I was currently lying on the couch watching Deaky do his solo bass recording for their current next smash hit.  Once he was done he asked.

“How was that?”

“Let us turn to our younger audience for approval,” Brian said into the mic so that Deaky could hear it.  The boys then turned toward me.  Of course me being a college student, they always wanted a “younger” persons perspective just to see if young people like me would bang their heads, or drum on their attiring wheels while the song played on the radio.

“What do you say darling? Will your people love it?” asked Freddie.

“Oh um please hold,” I played along and made my hands into a phone and then said in my best snotty business voice, “Queen it’s the Grammy’s you’ve just won the awards for Best Producers, Best Vocal performance in a duo/group and Best song of the year.”

“Oh darling you are too kind!” Freddie praised.

“In all seriousness it was great guys, you don’t have to always rely on me to be the barrier you need. Your breakout for Bohemian Rhapsody already proved your musical talents. Much better than ‘I’m in love with my car’.”

“Watch it squirt, I was just starting to like you” Roger threatened.  I stuck my tongue at him playfully giggling.

For the rest of the day, it continued on watching the guys record again and again until it was up to Freddie’s image.  Once the recording was done, the guys were now just lounging around drinking some beers while I was packing up to head back to my apartment.

“Okay guys, I’m about to take off.” I said.

“Oh come now (y/n) darling, stay for a while and have a couple of drinks with us” suggested Freddie.

“I can’t Fred, I’ve got an early class tomorrow and a shit ton of homework, if I miss this bus right now I’m officially gonna be late for classes tomorrow.”

“But love tomorrow’s your last day with us, and after that we won’t see you for years.” I went to argue when Brian interjected.

“It’ll only be six months Fred. Go on love, you’re free to go. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks Bri,” I then hugged and kissed the boys goodbye and said my farewells and they did the same for me.

I then raced out of the studio and headed towards the bus stop that was a few blocks away and thank God I made it just in time as the bus was coming.  I paid my fee and took a seat and took out my journal and started writing my internship for the day, logging in how many hours I did and retailing the hours in total I now had so that they would count towards my Internship credit at the University.

By around 7pm I finally arrived at my neighborhood and did the remaining 5 block walk to mine and my boyfriend’s apartment.  Oh yeah the one detail I left out, I live with my boyfriend Adam.  We met at University, me being a music major as well as him so we hit it off pretty well.

He’s cute and pretty good looking, but sometimes his attitude can really be a real pain in the ass. Like when I first signed up for the internship, he at first didn’t want me to take it because that would mean I was always would be away from him.  We had a fight about it till finally he just dropped it.

So things lately between us have been strained, so we’ve been trying to avoid each other, even though we live under the same roof which sometimes makes even going home awkward.

When I finally arrived at the door, I unlocked it and set my bags down with a groan and said.

“Baby I’m back.” But there was absolute silence.  I thought it was a bit odd because he’s usually still here after dark, very rarely does he ever go out this late.  “Adam? Adam you here?” I called out again.  I looked around the usual placed of the flat where he would usually be but he wasn’t in the kitchen, the living room, not even his game room.  So I decided maybe he was sleeping in our bedroom.

I walked down the hallway towards our shared bedroom and when I opened the door, my heart sunk.

Adam was asleep in bed alright, but he had another woman in his arms cuddled into his chest. I turned on the lights and screamed out.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” Adam and the bimbo woke up and I saw that she looked like she belonged at a strip club with long blonde hair and possibly fake boobs.

“Hi, I’m Becky” the girl introduced herself in a bubble voice.

“Becky!?” I snarled.

Next thing I knew, I was tossing my now ex-boyfriend and his slut out of my flat.  Adam was struggling to put his clothes back on as was Becky when Adam proclaimed.

“You were never around! What else was I supposed to do?”

“I did it for us Adam! You couldn’t have had the balls to breakup with me? No! Instead you bring this, this this—bimbo into our flat. And you sleep with her in our bed!” I then threw his prized guitar case at his chest which knocked him down to the ground.

“Oh sweetie I’m sorry. I think I left my hat in there could I maybe—” before Becky could even walk another step into the flat, I slammed the door in her face and pressed my back against the door.

‘Come on Becky, let’s get out of here!’ I heard Adam say.

I was in hysterics as I slid down onto my butt and tears filled my eyes.  I couldn’t even be in this flat anymore.  Without even thinking, I just bail out and took off running.

I didn’t care if people walking past me saw my crying, all I cared about was just getting as far away from my flat as I could.  And I don’t know whether it was by some miracle nor do I know how I managed it, but I soon ended up back at the studio.  And judging by the lack of the limos and other cars, I knew no one would be home.

Using my extra set of keys, I entered the studio and turned on a couple of lights so that I could see better.  I first went into the loo and I finally saw how god awful I looked.

Blood shot red eyes, tearstains glistening on my cheeks, as well as mascara that made me look like a wasted raccoon.  I turned on the tap and splashed some water on my face hoping to clean myself up before taking a towel and dapping my face lightly with it until I look slightly presentable.

I then walked into the recording booth and spotted the couch.  I plopped down on it and grabbed the blanket that was over the top of it and covered my entire body with it, head and all.

Hoping and wishing that this couch would just eat me alive.

*3rd Person POV*

Around 8am sharp, the members of Queen well three of them anyways Brian, Roger and John arrived at the studio for another days of recording when they first took notice that the studio had been unlocked.

Worried that the place might’ve been ransacked, they rushed in but saw everything still in the right order.  They noticed a couple lights were on so they walked towards the recording booth in the back of the studio and that’s when John noticed someone sleeping on the couch.

He quietly walked up towards the couch and removed the blanket just enough to reveal the head and that’s when he saw (y/n).

“It’s (y/n) guys.” He said quietly.

“What the bloody hell is she doing here this early?” Roger asked.

“I dunno” stated Brian.

“Should we wake her?” asked John.

“Good idea, you do it Deaky.” Roger said.

“Me? Why me why don’t you do it?”

“The last time I got on that girl’s bad side waking her up, I nearly had all my hair chopped off!”

“Hush you two! If you children keep arguing she will wake up.” Brian hissed quietly.  He then shoved the other two out of the way and knelt down beside the couch and gently stroked her shoulder and whispered, “(Y/n), wake up love.” With that, (y/n) began to stir.

*My POV*

I grumbled as I felt myself waking up and the first thing I saw was Brian kneeling down in front of me.  I looked up to also see Rog and Deaky standing a couple feet away from me.  All three men looking at me with the same look.

Concerned.

“Hey” I stated tiredly with a hint of sadness.

“Morning (y/n). How long have you been here?” asked Brian.

“Don’t remember the time I got here, but it was pretty late. Ran all the way here from my flat.”

“Wait, wait hold on. You ran all the way from your flat to here? (Y/n) that’s like 3 bloody miles! Why did you come here?” Roger interrogated.

That’s when everything came back to me.  Adam and her. Tears once again filled my eyes as I let out a couple of sobs.

“Way to go Roger you made her cry!” Deaky snarled.

“I didn’t mean to! (Y/n) love you know I—”

“It’s not you Rog. It’s not any of you.” I choked out.

“Then what is it? Come on love tell us,” Brian encouraged me as he had me sit up so he could sit beside me.  Roger sat on the chair while Deaky came back with a box of tissues and sat on the other lounge chair beside Roger.

“When I got h-home last night. I—I found…..Adam. He was….He—he slept…..with another girl in our room!” I took a tissue and pressed it against my right eye as I let out a sob.

Now I have told the guys about my relationship.  Around my 2nd week of my internship with the guys, we were all just hanging out and they were talking about their relationships/marriages and that’s when the boys started to interrogate me on if I had a special man in my life (mainly from Freddie) and of course when I said I did.

They wanted to know everything.  It was like my four brothers became my four dads as they wanted his name, what he did for a living, how we met, how long the relationship had been going on for, and whether he was treating me right.  

When I told them about the starting strain of the relationship, Roger almost wanted to go to my flat and beat the living shit out of Adam but I told him we were trying to work it out to avoid Roger Taylor being front page news of beating a young college boy.  But of course he said, ‘so long as the headline say; ‘Roger Taylor defends girl’s honor’.’

“Where is he?!” Roger growled.

“Rog not now” Brian tried to keep the peace but Roger cried out.

“No! I made a promise that if he broke her heart I’d beat his bloody arse into a pulp! Now tell me (y/n) where is he?”

“I don’t know, and frankly I could give a shit. I should’ve just ended things when they got bad. This is my fault, maybe I deserved it.”

“Don’t say that love! You didn’t deserve anything. If anything he didn’t even deserve you.” Brian assured me as he rubbed my shoulder comfortingly.

“Adam was a dick to do that to you (y/n). And I agree with Brian he’s not worth it, not even your tears” Deaky said as he took another tissue and reached over and wiped away the tears from under my eyes.  I looked between the three of them and just before I could say anything, the doors opened the Freddie came strutting in.

“Alright lads let’s get straight to—(y/n) why the long face darling?” he asked.

“Her boyfriend was shagging another girl last night in their flat.” Roger said clearly still wanting to kill Adam.

“Oh no, come here dear,” he came right over to me and took my hands and stood me up so that he could embrace me tightly in his arms. “Deaky, why don’t you and Rog go and make her a cup of tea, Bri see if we still got any leftover sweets.” The three of them left the booth leaving Freddie and I alone.  “Did you stay here all night?”

“Yeah I just—I just couldn’t stay in that flat I…..”

“Shhh, there, there darling. Not another word about it, he was a wanker. All little boys are.” I managed out a smile. “There’s that smile I love so much darling,” he gently brushed his thumb against my cheek and lifted my chin to look up at him as he continued, “You can stay here and take it easy. You don’t have to worry about doing any work, and if anyone questions your lack of work for your final day, I’ll out in a good word for you.” He winked down at me just as Brian came back with the bowl of sweets Deaky bought a couple weeks ago, and both Rog and Deaky came back with a cup of warm tea.

The boys then guided me to a private room located next to the recording booth that felt more like a lounge room that the guys would use to just sit around if they ever needed a private moment to focus on songwriting or whatever.

Freddie set me down at the small love seat, Roger had taken the blanket that I had used last night and placed the blanket over my shoulder, Brian placed the bowl of sweets at my lap, and Deaky finally handed me my cup of tea.  Judging by the smell of it, it was my favorite brand; Jasmine.

“You just take all the time you need to get settled, and if you need us, we’ll gladly drop everything and help you out.” Said Brian.

“You guys don’t have to do all that—”

“Nonsense darling. You’re hurting and we can’t allow you to be sad. It’s a crime in itself. We won’t take no for an answer. Whatever you need, no matter how big or small, you just let us know. No matter how busy we are” Freddie interjected.

I looked between the four of them and just couldn’t believe my luck.  The biggest rock band in all the world, were my angels sent from above to help me through my heartbreak.

“I swear you should change the band from Queen to Angels.”

“Darling the only angel among us is you” said Freddie as he gently stroked down my hair and planted a kiss at the top of my head before leaving the lounge room.  Brian gave me a sideways comforting hug before kissing my temple, Deaky came up and kissed my cheek then Roger came up and kissed my other cheek before ruffling my hair messing it up to which I playfully shoved him making him chuckle.

Once the guys left me alone to begin their work, I sat there drinking my tea and snacking on as many sweets as I could.  About 10-15minutes into just sitting around, I just knew I had to play a song, but not just any song.  I was getting inspired to make my next song that I had in mind.  So finding some paper and a pen and noticing one of Brian’s guitars still in the lunge room, probably from the last time he must’ve been in here to just do some strumming or whatever.

I knew he wouldn’t mind cause he offered that if anytime I wanted to play, I was allowed to use his guitars so long as I didn’t break them cause otherwise he’d curse me for eternity.  I sat down on the floor and just did some strumming while I hummed trying to find the melody of my song first.

I tried about three different tunes until I finally found the right rhythm of the song.  Then came the lyrics.  Now as mentioned before I have written songs in the past but like with any song it’s not always easy but thanks to some of the tips that the boys have given me, I simply wrote what I was feeling down on the page.

The first and second verse came pretty easy to me but the chorus was where I started struggling with the most.  I quietly strummed the rhythm to myself as I sang what I was thinking.

“I can finally see it’s not just your name. When you set it all fr—free. No, no that’s not it,” I scribbled out the first few lines of the chorus and tried it again.  I then turned Brian’s guitar and played the tune again as I muttered the new lyrics this time, “When you set it all free, all free, all free. You set it all free”.

“(Y/n)?” I looked up to see Freddie standing by the door way.  His eyes widened almost in shock as he just stared right at me.  “Have you—been writing that song this whole time?”

“Well, not the whole time. I’ve only been just finished the first half of it in what—” I looked up at the clock to see that two hours have gone by since I started. “Two hours, wow that long? Is it bad?”

“‘Is it bad?’ Darling, it’s amazing! You have to sing it for us!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa Fred slow down. You know how I feel about singing, I can barely sing in front of you guys without almost having a breakdown.”

“No worries darling, we’ll work on that. Just show us what you’ve got so far, please I would really like to hear it.” He looked at me with those puppy dog eyes of his and I knew I couldn’t refuse.

“Alright” I groaned before he cheered and took my hand and dragged me back to the booth.

“My darlings, our little rock angel has been working on a song of her very own and I say we give it a listen to it.” The boys turned toward me and Deaky said.

“Is it true (y/n)?”

“Yeah I’ve uhh—it’s just something I thought would help me out with—you know.” At that moment, the boys dropped their things and sat in front of me anticipatingly like little children ready for a story from their teacher.  I knew then I had no other choice.

I sat down at the couch in the correct posture and tuned Bri’s guitar to the right key and strummed a couple of times.  I then began to sing as much of the song as I had ready singing the first two verses and then the chorus.  Once I was done, I looked to the guys and they all now looked like profession record producers as they muttered and whispered to one another.

“It’s not complete yet and I know it still needs work but I just—”

“Quiet for a second darling, the adults are talking.” Freddie said as he held up his finger gesturing me to be quiet.  They continued talking before nodding and standing up.

“Well (y/n), you were right there is a lot of work to be done with the song” Roger started off, “First of all it needs more than just a guitar, the first few lyrics should be introduced by drums, not strums of a guitar.”

“Secondly you’ll need a base to pick up rhythm of your melody on the guitar” John said.

“And of course the lyrics need more, plus some rewriting just a couple of the words.” Stated Brian.

“But this song will truly be a smash hit.” Finished Freddie.  I smiled at them and we all then got to work.

For months I met up with the guys to work on the song, improve on the lyrics and hear the accompaniment they’ve come up with on how the song will sound all together.  I then got gutsy and whenever I would record my guitar solo I had in mind for the song after one day in class, I played it for the guys and they all sat there in shock, even Brian, “The Guitar playing God” of Queen was blown away with what I had done.

Finally Queen was ready for their second tour.  This time worldwide.  We were about to tour everywhere from coast to coast of Europe, across America, to Rio, Japan, China and even Australia.  Then one day just before our show in New York City, the Big Apple itself.  I was backstage helping some of the crew set up for the show when Roger called for me to their dressing room.

I followed behind him and when I entered I saw the guys all sitting around looked dead at me. I was confused and asked them.

“What’s going on?”

“(Y/n), we’ve been talking and it’s time.” Brian said.

“Time for what?”

“In the middle of our set, we are going to introduce you and have you sing the song that we’ve helped you with.” Said Freddie.

Shock doesn’t even compare to what I was feeling.

“No I—I can’t this is…..I can’t sing out there. This is a Queen concert not a Queen featuring an unknown college girl who thinks she’s a singer. I can’t I won’t sorry wrong number I refuse!”

“But you can’t darling, you’ve got to finally show that wanker Adam that he hasn’t won in breaking your heart. Show him up on that stage that he didn’t break you down, that he didn’t get to you. Own that stage just as I do.” Freddie said as he placed his hands on my shoulders looking me right in the eye.

“Freddie I—what if I screw up? You know how I feel about big crowds and this—this show is sold out. I know I’ll choke. Why can’t you sing it?”

“Because this is your song darling, and I won’t take credit for a song that isn’t mine. Especially one that is personal to you”.

“And you won’t be alone up there love, you’ll have us backing you up.” Brian said as he came up to me.  I looked at all four of them and they all looked like they really wanted me to do this. I sighed deeply and said.

“How long do I’ve got to get ready till showtime?” The boys all cheered and they all guided me towards the makeup room.  The boys each had an idea of how I should look on stage and what my wardrobe should look like, for they didn’t want me to be a frilly princess cause they all knew I hated that, but they didn’t want me making a slut of myself.

So in the end, I was in long black jeans that flapped out at the ankles, a wore a dark grey patterned black shirt with a black leather jacket.  My makeup was a basic base with a dash of sparkling blue eyeshadow and to add to my eye makeup, my eyes were given wings to make them really pop out. And to top it all off, Freddie had actually asked Mary to go by apartment and I was given Becky’s light grey flat cap.

I looked at myself in the mirror and almost couldn’t believe that this was really me.  I twirled a bit of my long hair and said.

“This is so—scary.”

“Honey you never looked better,” Freddie said as he came up behind me and looked at me in the mirror. “Our little angel is ready to fly, and she is going to give those two arseholes a reason to fear her.”  A knock was soon heard and the stage manager called out.

“Five minutes till curtain gentlemen.”

“Stay lose to the stage, we’ll give a proper introduction dear,” Fred kissed my cheek and the boys all filed out giving me either a nod or a gentle pat telling me all would be well.

The right at 8pm on the dot, the introduction of Bohemian Rhapsody began to play on stage and the crowd went nuts.

The boys gave the audience a well earned Queen show, singing all the favorites like “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Somebody to Love”, “Killer Queen”, “We Will Rock you” followed by “We Are the Champions”, and “Crazy Little thing called love” and “Another one bites the dust”.

It was then Freddie gave the crowd as well earned “Ay oh” which they all echoed back.  He kept the audience on their feet with how quick he would sing the note or have them screaming when he would hold a note.  At the end he proclaimed.

“Alright!” The crowd all cheered loudly. “Now ladies and gentlemen, this next song is gonna be something different. It’s written by a wonderful friend of ours, heck she’s an angel to us. But tonight, she will finally break out and we shall witness first hand of a future Rock Angel being born. So New York we’d like you to give a warm, Queen welcome to (y/n) (l/n)!” The crowd all cheered and I was practically frozen backstage.

I almost didn’t want to move but I took a deep breath and slowly walked out onto the stage adjusting Becky’s hat on my head with my head held high and the guitar in my hands.

The audience cheered louder as I came up on stage and Freddie turned to me and embraced me and I somehow heard him say through the screaming crowd.

“Own the stage darling, we’re right behind you.” I then walked up center stage up to the mic that Fred had adjusted to my size.  Even though I couldn’t see the audience, I knew what the stage’s size was and had seen all the seats before showtime and I already had pictured in my mind that all of them were filled and they were all looking right up at me.

I turned to Freddie and he mouthed to me.

‘Breathe.’ I took a big shaky breath in and exhaled out as I closed my eyes before opening them once more.  I turned towards Brian, Rog and John and they all nodded to me.

I adjusted the guitar in my hands and had everything plugged in thanks to the team and I took my right foot and slammed it down on the stage.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Like a heartbeat.

Roger then accompanied me with the drums and I turned to see Brian, Fred and John clapping their hands in the air to get the audience to clap along.  Soon thousands of people were clapping in unison as I began my song.

*Me (Queen)*

I followed my heart into the fire Got burned, got broken down by desire I tried, I tried but the smoke in my eyes Left me blurry, blurry and blind

John and I soon picked up the accompaniment with the guitar and base. I turned towards Fred who stood at the piano and he gave me a confident nod before allowing me to take the stage for a while. I then turned the volume up on my guitar and once the chorus hit I just let go.

I picked all the pieces up off the ground I've burned all my fingers but that's gone now Got the glue in my hands

I'm stickin' to the plan Stickin' to the plan that says

"I can do anything at all” I can do anything at all

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down gonna let it all up Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big hello 'Cause I'm giving, never letting go I can finally see, it's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (Oh oh oh) (Oh oh oh) (Oh oh oh)

Feeling more confident, I then took off Becky’s hat and tossed it into the audience and I continued the song.  My boys backed me up on the vocals but for the main singing, they left it all to me.

I was a girl caught under your thumb But my star's gonna shine brighter than your sun And I will reach so high (so high), Shoot so far (shoot so far) (She’s) Gonna hit, gonna hit, hit every target

Make it count this time I will make it count this time

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down I'm gonna let it all out Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big hello 'Cause I'm here and never letting go I can finally see, It's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh)

It was then Brian and I doubled out on our guitar duets.  But when the moment came for me to explode on the guitar solo I had in mind, Brian allowed me the chance to shine so that he wouldn’t upstage me (like I mentioned, even he feared me at this solo).

I then sang in acapella for a brief moment letting my sorrow take over for a brief second but refused to shed anymore tears as Roger came back up with the drums and the rest of the boys followed behind me as we finished the song.

This is my kiss goodbye You can stand alone and watch me fly 'Cause nothing's keeping me down I'm gonna let it all out Come on and say right now, right now, right now This is my big "hello" 'Cause I'm here and never letting go I can finally see, It's not just a dream When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free (oh oh oh) You set it all free

I slid across the stage on my knees as I just allowed my final solo to take over and then die down. I was so overcome with the adrenaline the entire stage was almost silent to me.  But when I began to recover, I could hear stadium cheers of a real Queen audience, only they weren’t cheering for Queen.

The roar of applause was for me.

I couldn’t even get up as I was overcome with emotion lowering my head and sobbing tears of happiness.  I was soon lifted by Brian and engulfed into a group hug by my four boys.

“Didn’t I tell you all? We just witnessed the birth of a true Rock Angel! Give it up one more time for (y/n) everybody!” Freddie proclaimed into the microphone.  I waved to the audience and raced backstage.

After the second half of the concert was done and our trip to New York was over, the boys came piling into the dressing room where I was recuperating after my performance and I was once again tackled into a group hug of them all piling up on the couch and hugged the hell out of me.

“Oh darling you were amazing out there!”

“You were fantastic!”

“You are a Rockstar now love, welcome to the club!”

All their praises made me feel so good in side and made me forget all about my heartbreak.

“I say this calls for a celebration!” Proclaimed Freddie.  He then took out the champagne and poured into five glasses and we each took a glass and Freddie toasted, “To our lovely and sweet angel (y/n). Who proved today that heartbreak is never the end. You prevail through it and become one beautiful, shining star in the heavens. To (y/n)!”

“To (y/n)!” The boys praised as they toasted to me.  I lightly clanged my glasses to them and I added.

“But none of this would’ve been possible without you guys giving me the confidence to get on that stage.”

“No love, that was all you. We didn’t do a damn thing.” I smiled at them and we continued the celebration long into the night.

*Extended ending*

It was another several months after and Roger and I spent the day together.  He was actually helping me move into a nearby flat that was right around the corner of where he and his wife were currently living that was up for sale.

After helping me move in, we had lunch together and that’s when someone tapped my shoulder so I lowered my sunglasses and saw Adam standing over me.

“Hey (y/n).” he said quietly.

“Adam.” At his name Roger went to sit up but I took his wrist and held him back.

“Listen, I’ve been doing some thinking and I was a real wanker for bringing Becky into our flat and sleeping with her. I want you back baby, you’re my best girl the love of my life and I can’t live without you. Please will you take me back.”

Oh I knew exactly what kind of game he was playing.  For you see shortly after my first concert with the band in New York, record companies left and right were trying to have a piece of me but I stuck close with my boys and had Miami be my record executive.  

Currently now I am in the works of my first album and on a few songs I do have my boys featured with me.  I was being paid big money while Adam here probably got dumped by Becky by the look of his unclean state and needed to be supported now, so he thinks he can crawl back to me and hope that I’ll forgive him for breaking my heart just so he can live off my well-earned money.

I put my shades back over my eyes and I said to him right in his face.

“You were. The way you turned your back on me after three years of a relationship that meant nothing to you but everything to me. You are worse than Paul if not up to his speed Adam. Which is why I am going to do to you what I should’ve done the very first day I met you in the University cafeteria.”

I then took my ice cold water that had just been refilled, took him by the loop of his pants and dumped the water down his pants.  He cried out at the freezing cold on his balls while I took my pasta and dumped it all over his head and then topped him off with Roger’s pie to his face.

I didn’t even care if I had an audience watching me, he deserved to be humiliated just like he humiliated me.

“Tell Becky I said hi.” I sneered happily as I grabbed my jacket and walked away.  I felt Roger’s arm go around my shoulder and he said.

“Couldn’t have done it better myself love, I’m so proud of you.”

“Really cause I can still feel my hands shaking.” We both laughed and he brought me close in a one armed hug as he kissed the top of my head and we headed back to my new flat.

[mst3kproject]

111: Moon Zero-Two

 In his review of Serenity, the late Roger Ebert defined ‘space opera’ as being like horse opera, but with space instead of horses.  I can think of no better description of Moon Zero-Two.

Captain Bill Kemp and his co-pilot Kaminsky were once heroes, the first men on Mars, but now that a proper colonization of the solar system is underway, they’re reduced to running a salvage operation.  The opportunity to do something more profitable knocks when Evil Businessman Mr. Hubbard asks them to help him crash an asteroid on the far side of the moon – an asteroid made of almost pure blue sapphire!  Meanwhile, Kemp is also trying to help a woman named Clementine Taplan, who’s supposed to be meeting her brother Wally, but nobody’s seen him since he sent her the invitation four months ago.  And isn’t it interesting that Wally’s lunar mining claim is exactly where Hubbard’s asteroid is going to hit?

I actually really like this movie.  The visuals are often silly, but it’s quite well-made and the ‘space western’ feel is fun. The actors are decent, the effects aren’t bad, and when you think about it, it’s surprisingly hard science fiction. The only overtly unrealistic things in it are the artificial gravity and the characters’ bad habit of going for spacewalks without a tether.

Moon Zero-Two’s overall aesthetic probably made more sense when the movie was new than it does now.  It is, indeed, rather painfully late-60’s, but nothing about it is just gratuitously weird – everything has a purpose.  The music, for example.  Tom Servo complains about the ‘free-form jazz’ but it’s as effective at suggesting the free-floating emptiness of space as the Jaws theme is at saying ‘shark!’.  Indoor scenes have a more grounded soundtrack and even the low-gravity barfight is not scored the way the parts that take place in vacuum are.

Likewise, the odd outfits and plasticky wigs serve to emphasize the artificiality of the environment.  The ‘natural’ late-60’s-early-70’s look, with loose clothing and long hair, would have been entirely out of place here.  This is a world humans have had to build from the ground up – nothing else is natural here, so why should the people be?  The moon colonists try to jazz up their world a little with their fanciful outfits and theme nights at the bar, but they can’t even make a dent in the relentless desolation of the landscape.  They barely even make one in the self-consciously futuristic white of their cities.  Kemp says ‘we will always be foreigners here’, and the sets and costumes reinforce his point.

In Clementine’s case, what she wears also serves to show how comfortable she is in this environment and in Bill’s company.  When she first arrives on the moon she is covered from head to toe. As she adjusts, she trades her weird headpiece for a wig.  Finally, we see her with her own hair hanging down.

On another level, clothing in this movie is about vulnerability. Bill and Clem come closest to being humans in the natural state (nude), when they are near death from over-heating in the un-insulated moon bug.  Bill’s two topless scenes are supposed to be about his dislike of vulnerability turning into a willingness to show vulnerability around Clem, but they don’t work very well because both of them are such clichés: she catches him coming out of the shower in what’s supposed to be a joke, and then there’s the ‘couple who won’t admit they’re falling in love have to undress because of the heat’. I can see what they were going for, but I wish they’d found a better way to do it.  Both scenes get some very powerful eyerolls.

(ETA: I probably should have said something about how Bill is in love with Clem like twenty minutes after his previous girlfriend died, but I only just dealt with something like that in the EtNW review for It’s Alive and I decided not to bother.)

The idea of vulnerability brings us to the movie’s main theme, which is that while space is a place of limitless potential, full of things like rich nickel veins and sapphire asteroids and other opportunities for science and profit, living there is always going to suck.  In the future of Moon Zero-Two, there is a large population of humans on the moon, but anything above and beyond a very basic lifestyle is rare and expensive. There’s the tiny hut we see that Wally Taplan was living in, Kemp’s complaints about the cost of drinks, and the difficulty of getting anywhere that’s not a tourist center.  Danger is everywhere – as one character observes, ‘nobody dies slowly on the moon.’

These dangers are mostly hidden from casual travelers so as not to frighten them (witness the monument, around a corner where only residents will see it), but vacuum, heat, cold, and radiation are ever-present.  It’s much like modern air travel, which is perfectly safe as long as everything works and everybody does their jobs, but all it takes is one mistake, one faulty component, and everything goes down in flames. This makes Moon Zero-Two stand out from other sci-fi movies that rely on alien monsters to scare the audience, forgetting that space itself is really far more frightening than any number of extraterrestrial teeth.

This isn’t a horror movie, though – Moon Zero-Two bills itself as ‘the first moon western’.  I’m not sure if it’s actually the first, but it’s definitely a moon western!  I mean, we’ve got miners, tycoons, shootouts, and untold riches in a wild new frontier with dangers around every corner!  As a bonus, setting it on the moon avoids the troubling questions of who has a right to this land, and doesn’t allow the writers to use ‘angry natives’ as one of their generic dangers.  Western clichés pop up repeatedly, but unlike the cliché nudity, these are actually entertaining as each one comes with a sci-fi twist. There’s a saloon, but the barfight takes place in microgravity!  Bill and Clem may overheat and die in the desert, but that’s because their moon bug has broken down rather than because their horse stepped in a gopher hole! These fun little uses of the tropes are a running gag in themselves.

Moon Zero-Two is also another movie where it’s a load of fun to look at what the writers and production designers thought the future would be like versus what actually happened.  The film-makers probably thought they were being very forward-thinking, with their personal computers and satellite communications.  Of course now we scoff at the briefcase-sized computers with their single-colour displays and giant keypads, but at the time it must have seemed quite futuristic!  It makes me wonder what people fifty years from now (if there are any left) will think of the interactive hologram technology we depict in movies like Avatar and the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

For all these things to like about it, Moon Zero-Two is a long way from perfect.  Everybody on the moon seems to be white and there are far more men than women, although the women we see are portrayed as competent and intelligent (except for Hubbard’s collection of bimbos, barely able to sound out the words on their Community Chest cards… though when we consider Harry, I suppose we’re meant to assume that Hubbard just likes surrounding himself with stupid people).  We relate to Bill as he seems like just a guy trying to make a living, but he’s a bit too much of a bitter grouch to really be likeable.  I would have liked to see some more personality for Clem and Kaminsky, too.

The biggest thing that just feels like it’s missing from Moon Zero-Two is any idea of what’s going on down on Earth.  This is not, of course, essential to the story – it’s notable that we never see Earth, only what’s happening on the Moon and in space – but considering when the movie was made I was curious what it would predict for the outcome of the Cold War.  In the opening, we see an America and a Russian astronaut who are rivals until they are both swept up in the (extremely capitalist) race to colonize the solar system.   In the movie proper, the Russians vanish.  Somebody sneeringly asks where Kaminsky is from, but it’s not clear whether this is a cold war thing or just garden-variety xenophobia.  What happened?  Have the Russians left the moon as the British-American colonization project got going?  Do they have their own bases elsewhere on the surface?  We never find out, and it makes me wonder why the opening sequence brought it up.

Speaking of the opening sequence, I do love the theme song.  It’s so cheerful and catchy, and it makes exploring the solar system sound like a really good time!

Outside of the Russian movies, which had been badly-translated and mercilessly cut down, I think Moon Zero-Two might be the best film ever featured on MST3K.  It is very easy to make fun of, being so obviously a product of its time, but it doesn’t have any of the egregious errors of acting, pacing, or cheapness that ruined so many other good ideas in such movies.  For the most part it uses its clichés in an entertaining way and we don’t really hate any of the characters except the smug, cackling Hubbard, whom we’re supposed to hate.  Its visuals, audio, and story never bore us, and the story has only one major coincidence in Clem and Hubbard both going to Bill for help – but what we’re told about Bill’s past and present doesn’t make this seem too unlikely.  As I already mentioned, it doesn’t need a whole bunch of technobabble to get the story going, and still manages to be pretty good fun.

Perhaps the highest praise I can give to Moon Zero-Two is this: it’s probably the only MST3K episode where the riffing actually annoys me, because I’m trying to pay attention to the movie.

[bloodyshadow1]

Nature V NatureBlog:ModernAu

So this is my submission for day 4 critrole femslash week, prompt Alternate Universe.  I choose to do a modern au with a vlogger/social media because when I started it I read a few and thought they were neat. Hope you enjoy, read, review, comment, reblog, they really mean more than you’d think when writing stuff like this.

 “Oh sweet Pelor, she posted another freaking video,” Vex’ahlia ‘Vex’ Vessar screamed at her brother Vax’ildan, or Vax for pretty much anyone who had ever talked to him.

“Who my dear sweet even-tempered sister,” Vax asked half amused half mocking.  He already knew who Vex was throwing her latest hissy fit over, she had been throwing tantrums over the other half-elf for months.  It wasn’t fair, there was such a huge storm in Emon last week the meant she wasn’t able to go out and hike like she normally did which meant she hadn’t been able to film a new video.  It also meant that she hadn’t been able to visit her sweet baby boy Trinket either and that was even worse.  Maybe it was making her cranky, but she wouldn't admit that.

“You very well know who I mean,” Vex said rounding on her brother but her eyes never strayed from her phone, “Keyleth Zephara.”  The newest Druid Diaries video already had a couple thousand views and it had only been up for an hour at most.  Vex hadn’t watched it yet, but she knew it would be sweet and wonderful and oh so sickening, just like the woman who it focused on.

“Oh right the red-haired bimbo who has been the bane of your existence for the past few months. The one who updates every Saturday, which is today,” Vax said not even looking up from his tablet.  He had much better things to do than listen to his sister go on and on about her one-sided war she was waging against her crush even if his sister wouldn’t admit it was a crush.

“I never said she was a bimbo,” Vex retorted.  She glanced at her phone again seeing Keyleth’s smiling face as she traveled through the wilderness, “I mean yes I called her a strumpet, but I didn’t actually know what it meant.  I thought it was an insult that you called pretty women.”

“I know,” Vax said finally looking at his twin sister, if only so she could see his shit eating grin.  “Zahra won’t let you forget it.”

Vex didn’t need to be reminded about her ex-girlfriend/current best friend’s literal rolling on the floor laughter the first time Vex used the word wrong during a rant about Keyleth. Besides, Zahra didn’t matter right now, “I just don’t get how her blog is more popular than mine?  I mean we’re both nature blogs, but I’m the 3 time gold medalist and fashion icon, whereas she’s just a nature blog.  Why is she more popular than me? Vex’ahlia’s Visions is a masterpiece blog in my opinion, it combines fitness, fashion, and nature.” Vex had started it up sometime during the last Summer games and her third gold medal victory and it had been a very popular blog for the last 3 years.  Her friend Scanlan had suggested it, said that she could boost her popularity and show her fans the real her. While she was initially against it she had to admit it was fun and she did love the praise she received for her breathtaking nature shots as well as people lavishing over her beauty during her fitness and fashion segments.

“How could my blog be losing to a blog about a gorgeous girl who does cute things with animals she sees travel the world. It’s only been up for two years.” A moment passed and Vex was about to answer but Vex stopped him, “I know, I know her blog sounds awesome, I realized it the second the words came out of my mouth.  Still, it doesn’t explain why she’s more popular than me.  She calls her fans Kikinuts for crying out loud.”

“I mean, it probably doesn’t help that you follow her and are like half the views on her videos.”

“I’m not half the views on her videos,” Vex shot back, “maybe a quarter, but not half,” she whispered to herself.  She can’t help it, after all Keyleth of the Air Ashari was the competition, Vex had to watch her videos to see why they were so popular, at least 8 times each just to be sure, sometimes with and other times without sound.  “Still, I’m a ranger and one of the most famous in the world, how does someone have a nature blog more popular than mine?”

Despite Vex’s complaints she did love Keyleth’s videos.  They were always surprisingly informative about the places she visited, and she would always have animals in her videos that did cute things and she would talk to sometimes.  Usually she would end up sleeping in the woods somewhere making a shelter, foraging for her own food and water, living under the stars.  As a powerful druid she apparently had the ability to summon storms and perfect wifi no matter where she went in addition to her other magical and shapeshifting abilities.  Being able to summon lightning meant her equipment was always charged too so that was helpful for a druid ‘roughing’ it.

“You might be a ranger Stubby, but she’s a druid.  You both might have nature one your side but she can turn into animals and talk to them and people love animals.”

“I have animals in my videos.”

“You have animals that are running away from you little sister,” Vax said standing up giving his sister a kiss on the forehead since he knows how much she hates it.  “Keyleth gets them to gather around her like she’s a Disney princess or something. And that’s not even getting to how she is with plants. Or she gets attacked by them which also leads to a lot of views because people like to see that sort of thing.  I’m sorry but I don’t think you’re going to win this one.  Especially since you want to keep my nephew out of the spotlight.”

“I swore I would never become a crazy stage mom and force Trinket in the spotlight for something as paltry as popularity.  My child is a wild dangerous beast and my animal companion like the ones the rangers of old would ride into battle with.  Not some dancing bear doing tricks for snacks and nose pats.  The fact that he’s adorable and happens to love me with all his giant heart is a moot point,” Vex said matter-of-factly.  She loved Trinket more than anything in this world, which is why she let him roam free in the wilds near Emon instead of stuck in her house like a pet.

“That makes me proud Stubby,” Vax said giving his sister the biggest sloppiest kisses he could muster on each cheek, one for him and one for his nephew.  As she pushed him away he continued, “I know you’ve always wanted to be the type of successful woman that those bastards back in Syngorn would have to respect at least.  But I’m glad you’re not willing to go crazy over that.  I mean if winning three gold medals for archery in the past 3 olympic games didn’t make Syldor respect you, I doubt becoming internet famous will.”

“That might be because I competed on behalf of Emon and beat every pureblooded natural born son and daughter of Syngorn they sent up against me, along with the competitors from the Dwendali Empire, Marquet, and everywhere else,,” Vex said proudly.  The memories of her father looking down on her archery skills back when she was 6 still hurt, he had only agreed to let her try after her stepmother convinced him to let her try.  He had bet on her quitting in a week.  Her stepmother had given her the gold piece when the two of them left to study abroad in Emon when they were 12.  A reminder of the first time she forced her father to eat those words Devana said before sending her off with a kiss on the forehead and telling her to not make it the last.

“Syldor and the rest of them back in Syngorn would still respect you even if they hated you, the fact that they still don’t means they never will Stubby.  So stop acting like having the best nature blog will make you anything more than an ambassador’s bastard half-blooded daughter to the stuffy elves back home and just enjoy your crush like a normal person,” Vax said as patiently as he could.  He knew it probably wouldn’t get through, it wasn’t the first time they had this conversation, but Vex had a hard time letting their horrible childhood go.

“Whatever,” Vex said shrugging off her brother’s words, “why don’t you get out of here, I have a video to watch.”

Sighing Vax just decided to let it go, one issue at a time, “when you watch this time, maybe just forget about your one-sided rivalry with Keyleth for now and just watch her video.  You know you always forget about how much you pretend to hate her once you see her break out in that embodiment of sunshine smile she always opens up with,” when Vex flipped him off in response he just let out a sigh and moved to the door.  “Just try not to drool all over yourself this time or should I say don’t let her make you so mad you’ froth with rage,” he managed to say before he dashed out of the room dodging pillows that his sister was trying to assault him with.

Unfortunately for Vex this left her alone to deal with her brooding/crush over Keyleth.   She wished Trinket was there, he always managed to make her feel better, but a bear wasn’t meant for a populated area, the woods near Emon were fine since he was less than a mile away at worst, but it still didn’t mean his absence wasn’t felt.  She had a cabin deeper in the woods on private property that Trinket stayed in or around most days.  It worked for Trinket and it worked for her wilderness videos.

She waited to watch the newest Druid Diaries, she knew it would be fantastic even if she could only see the thumbnail.  It was of Keyleth sitting up in between two tree branches, she was smiling of course, wearing her classic green ensemble with her iconic antler crown framing her long mane of red hair.  Initially she thought that Keyleth had a lot of followers and fans because she was a pretty girl.  There were always idiots who followed pretty girls who made videos, Vex knew first hand when she was starting out, but that wasn’t the secret to Keyleth’s success.  While she was adorably charming in a clumsy sort of way Keyleth did know her stuff when it came to animals and plants, even if she seemed a bit ditzy at first glance.

Quietly, Vex wondered where Keyleth was going to be shooting this month.  The druid seemed a nomad at heart and despite loving each location she got to she only spent a month or so in an area to explore all the natural world had to offer with a video showing up each week before moving on.  Vasselheim was an exception though, Keyleth seemed to fall in love with the ancient city and it’s forests full of magical beasts and stayed a whole 4 months before moving on.  Her fans loved it though, everything from the forests and the monsters, to the way their idol had explored the ancient city.  She had spent so long there that there was speculation on her forum that she had joined the legendary Slayer’s Take hunter’s guild.

Vex had always wanted to go but had never gotten the nerve to.  But she would one day, she’d take Trinket there and explore the forests, see the wild magical beasts that hunted in those woods, maybe she’d even join the Slayer’s Take.  It was supposed to be a pretty open guild, once you took a contract you needed to fulfill it but it also didn’t have a requirement to keep taking contracts.

That didn’t matter right now though, she had to watch the new video her enemy put out.  Despite what her brother thought Vex did not find Keyleth attractive, just annoyingly beautiful and awkwardly  charming, but not attractive no sir. Realizing she was just justifying her actions to herself, Vex let out a sigh and started Keyleth’s newest video.  It was long enough that she’d by the time she finished she’d be able to watch Keyleth’s live Q&A segment that she always did after the first week. Every now and then her phone would go off to tell her that she had a new notification, something she normally checked religiously, but she ignored them, when it was Keyleth’s video watching time the building would be on fire and she wouldn't notice, which had happened before.  

“Hey there Kikinuts,” Keyleth started out with her camera zoomed in way too far so they could only see her right eye.  Vex gave a snort, this meant Keyleth was doing things solo, her best friend and camera man when he could Percy wouldn't have let her start a video like that. “Oh sorry, let me adjust that,” she said zooming out a bit until her whole face was in the video.  “There we go,” Keyleth said giving the camera a smile and Vex felt her heart speed up.  ‘Shut up Vax,’ she thought out loud to a brother that wasn’t there.  Keyleth might have had the most gorgeous green eyes Vex had ever seen, but it was her face that she could, and have stared at for hours.

Vex couldn’t help but notice how the morning sun just lit up Keyleth’s long mane of untamed red hair like a sea of rubies or fire.  She looked beautiful, Vex could admit that much as she sighed feeling the anger towards the innocent woman whose only crime was being more popular than she was and making her feel weird things.

“I hope you all enjoyed my last month in Whitestone, the home of my best friend and assistant Percival Fredrickstein Von Martini Koala De Rolo the Third,” she giggled.  it was a running gag in her videos for Percy’s name to be unpronounceable to anyone other than him.  “Unfortunately,” Keyleth said sobering up a bit, “Percy decided to take a bit of a leave of absence for a while. Don’t worry, we’re still a duo and having broken up or anything, he just needed some time to himself. Seeing his childhood home and his family made him feel a bit nostalgic so he decided  to stay with them for a while to catch up. You can still keep up with him @Pderolo3 and of course you can follow me @TempestOfAntlers if you aren’t already. Remember if you like this video, leave a like and subscribe, maybe even a comment.  Just a reminder because this is the first week of the month, I will be doing a live Q&A session 2 hours after the video airs so send in your questions. It’s weird to be saying that since it will be the future by then but it’s what we’ve been doing. Any way,” Keyleth said giving her fingers a snap, “now that that’s out of the way, we can start our video for real.”

It started off like it usually did with videos of her hiking for a bit and just enjoying the sounds of nature all around her. Vex didn’t usually like this part, it was fine but Keyleth did her best to be quiet for the first few minutes or so and as much as Vex loved nature, sometimes trees just looked like trees, and she had enough trees in whenever she went to visit Trinket. These trees didn’t look any different, which made Vex sit up, actually not only did they not look any different, those were the same trees she saw whenever she visited Trinket, the exact same trees.  “Here I am in the Forests of Emon, the capital of Tal'Dorei, and home to Sovereign Uriel Tal’Dorei the Third,” Keyleth said breaking into the talking points of her show where she would list the history but Vex didn’t hear her.  She was paralyzed frozen by the information that Keyleth Zephara was literally a few miles away in the forests she walked and hiked in for years.  

It wasn’t until Keyleth got a familiar furry visitor, a large brown mass of fur lumbered into the clearing that Keyleth was currently filming in.  The two of them stared at each other dumbstruck, neither expecting the other and Vex had a mini heart attack.  She knew that Trinket was the sweetest being in creation, but he was still a wild animal, she knew that Trinket wouldn’t attack Keyleth but that didn’t mean that Keyleth wouldn’t attack him thinking she was in danger.  Keyleth might not be a warrior, but she was a powerful druid, Vex had seen videos where Keyleth turned into sharks, or tigers, or giant rock monsters, she could destroy Trinket in a fight.

“Alright viewers,” Keyleth whispered into her camera, “I am going to show you how I deal with wild animals that could be potentially dangerous.  Just a warning, don’t try this at home unless you are a druid to and even then, I wouldn’t recommend it.” With that she put her phone down so she was still in view, and for a minute she glowed.  

Vex was about to run outside with her arrows, crush or not if Keyleth hurt her baby she’d shove an arrow so far up that bitch’s ass that. Luckily her rational side took over before she could do something stupid, it said that this video happened a week ago so even if she did rush out she’d be too late.  Also, it said that she always knew when Trinket was in danger thanks to their bond so she had nothing to worry about.  She had felt him be nervous during the storm that was after when Keyleth would have shot her video.  

“Hello,” Keyleth said in a deeper voice than normal, “I am Keyleth,” her voice said was heavy and harsher than normal, like she was growling.  Trinket just let out a large roar in response, Vex could tell he wasn’t angry or scared, just curious, “Oh, you speak common,” Keyleth said in response, “that makes things easier.”

Trinket growled back friendlier than before, “okay so you’re Trinket,” Keyleth responded, “it’s very nice to meet you Trinket,” she said giving Trinket a scratch on the chin.  And Vex’s heart started to calm down a little, it also tried not to melt. Seeing the girl of her dreams befriending her son  was not something she ever thought she’d see, but it did things to her. Not dirty things, but familial things that she hadn’t dreamed of feeling in a long time.  

“You’re very nice for a wild bear,” Keyleth started to say, “I don't mean that other bears aren’t nice wild or not,” she said backtracking.  “It’s just most wild bears I meet aren’t so nice or understand common.  Oh you’re Vex’s bear,” Keyleth said excitedly and Vex’s heart just froze.  The notifications were going off on her phone like crazy now and to the point where Vex had to plug her headphones into her laptop just so she could watch what could be her most important moment of her life. “Wow that’s amazing, I didn’t realize she had a bear, especially one as cute and cuddly as you,” she said in a cutesy baby tone as she gave Trinket a belly rub.  

“No,” Keyleth responded to one of Trinket’s growls, “never meet Vex personally, I saw her up close once though,” she said surprising Vex.  “It was during the games before last, I went there with my father to represent the Ashari tribes. We don’t exactly have the numbers for athletes to compete, but we were invited to spectate the games.  It was a great honor for the tribes, but I was nervous, most of the competitors were hyper focused on their own events they didn’t have time for anyone who wasn’t a fellow athlete, a coach, or the press so I was lost.   I didn’t feel like I belonged there so part of me wanted to just curl up and cry in my room from nerves and anxiety.   Then at one of the dinner after the opening ceremonies, I saw her, arguing with another athlete form Syngorn despite her being a whole head shorter than him and probably ten years younger, and winning. I think probably the coolest girl I’ve ever seen and she was my age.  I didn’t introduce myself back then, I was still too nervous to, but just seeing her stand up for herself made me feel braver. I kind of became a Vex fangirl after that,” Keyleth said kind of dreamily, maybe?  It sounded dreamily to Vex who was trying really hard not to get her hopes up.  This couldn’t’ be real right?

This couldn’t be happening, this was something after a cheesy romcom, granted it would normally happen with dogs opposed to bears, but Vex didn’t have a dog.  “I went to each of her competitions and bought tons of her merchandise, I just was so into her.”

“Do you want to be,’ Vex thought absentminded, she really had no filter when she wasn’t paying attention.

“I got into vlogging because of her actually,” she said surprising Vex when she did.  “I got a notification about her on google and saw her video for the first time and I don’t’ know I just subscribed then and there. Oh I don’t know why I’m tell you this Trinket,” Keyleth said looking cute and Vex thought her heart couldn’t take it.

“Oh Vex talked about me with you before,” Keyleth asked excitedly and Vex’s heart dropped, oh no.

For a moment she just watched and listened while Trinket growled amicably with a big smile on her face. Slowly though her smile seemed to fade slowly to the point where she Vex could hear Keyleth’s heart break, “I see she said that about me,” now it sounded like the Druid was about to cry. “I guess I could see that, she isn’t the first person to say things like that about me.  I think we should move along, there are so many nice things to see in Emon,” but now she sounded like a carebear who was told love didn’t exist.

Vex’s alarm went off to let her know that Keyleth’s Q&A and Vex immediately shut her alarm off and saw she had hundreds of notifications. Some were “Why are you being mean to Keyleth,” or “I don’t get where you get off being mean to Keyleth, she’s great while you’re the worst,” which seeing how she was feeling right now she couldn’t disagree.  Others were worse unfortunately, “I’m with you, Keyleth is an overrated bitch,” or “Keyleth is a cunt who doesn’t know anything and needs to shut her trap. Team Vex all the way,” which got a block from Vex right away.  Even a few gross ones that say things like “if the two of you are going to have a fight you should film it with jello to boost both your views.” Honestly she wouldn’t mind getting jello with Keyleth, but she wasn’t’ going to have a catfight in it, at least not for people to watch.

Immediately she turned on Keyleth’s live stream and saw that the area she was filming in was partially destroyed.  In the background of her shot though there was a cabin that looked far to familiar. “Hi there Kikinuts. There was a bit of a storm the last few days so sorry I’ve been out of communication.  But I’m here and safe, my friend Trinket actually brought me to this nice cabin that belongs to his owner,” she gestured to the, “he took me to where the spare key was so we could both stay safe and dry.  I just want you to know Ms. Vex’ahlia if you’re watching this I’m sorry, I never would have trespassed if it wasn’t an emergency.  I’ll leave money for whatever I took to survive, I didn’t mean to intrude upon your space.”  

“Oh fuck,” Vex swore aloud, the way Keyleth said her name now, it was so meek and formal, she’d talk to her father’s business associates like that growing up.  

“Anyway, enough about me,” Keyleth said, “lets here from you guys, what do you want to ask me?” She started scrolling through the chat, “Alright let’s see here there…, there’s a lot of questions asking what the deal between me and Vex’ahlia,” Keyleth said with an aggravated sigh, “look, I don’t know.  Like I said I was a huge fan of Vex, and if I could maybe talk to her, I still can be. I know this kind of seemed like I dropped this on you guys, but I’ve been wracking my brain over this for the last week.  Maybe I insulted her some way when we were kids by accident or something, but I don’t really know what I could have done to make her…, upset with me but I don’t’ want to start guessing on here without talking to each other first.  Since I’m in Emon I thought maybe I’d send her a message to see if we could meet up IRL and maybe clear the air without any cameras or people watching.  Maybe I can apologize for whatever I did to offend her.  Just don’t send her hate, like I said she’s still the coolest woman I’ve ever seen and Trinket here loves her,” she pointed over to Trinket the traitor who was just rolling around in the dirt being a happy bear.  “He’s been talking about how much he loves his mommy all week and how great she is. So I’m sure this is just a problem on my end that I hope we can fix.  I get enough hate because of what I do, I don’t ever want anyone else to experience that, especially over me,” her big green eyes were full of sincerity.

“Anyway,” she said trying to lighten the mood, “lets see about another question.  Sorry, they’re going by really quickly so if I don’t’ get to yours I’m sorry, I’m not ignoring you it’s just hard to see them sometimes.  Alright, how about this one,” she paused for a second before letting out a sigh of frustration, “no @AldarLoverL, I will not say what Vex said about me it’s private, she told her bear not me.  I shouldn’t have learned it the way that I did so please stop asking.  Moving on for…, are there any questions that aren’t about me and Vex’s so called feud?”

At that point Vex was already out the door rushing grabbing her keys and leaving her apartment. “Hey Vex,” Vax called her as she got to the front door, “are you watching…, I see you were watching Keyleth’s live stream.”

“I always do you know that, dear brother of mine,” Vex said trying to keep the frustration out of her voice.  She loved her brother, her twin, the other part of her soul, but she needed to go to her cabin and clear the air.  It was only a few miles away, on her bike she could be there in under 15 minutes.  

“Are you really going to crash her livestream just to tell her that you don’t actually hate her?”

“Yeah or at least that was the plan,” she admitted, “she’s at my cabin with my son thinking that for  the past week I hate her, I need to make things right.  Now if you’ll excuse me,” and Vex was out the door quicker than her arrows.  She tore down four flights of stairs faster than any sprinter she’d meet and got to the garage where she kept her other baby, “Death From Above”.  It was a nice looking motorcycle that Vex loved to ride, she had beaten some crazy dragonborn necromancer in pool for it but it was hers. DFA was loud but it was fast and it got her where she was going and it made Vex feel like she was flying.

It was a quick ride, luckily there was no traffic the way to the cabin, once she was off the main road it was just a barely paved dirt road to get to her little slice of heaven. By the time she got to the cabin her heart was still pounding, she all but jumped off her bike and ran to the back where she recognized Keyleth was filming.  She got back there right as she started to realize she had no idea what she was doing, Keyleth was still shooting her Q&A, it usually lasted an hour.  Vex’s body moved before her mind could catch up and she was around the corner face to face with Keyleth before she realized these things.

Sweet Pelor the Ashari woman was more beautiful and cute in person, for a good thirty seconds they looked at each other not saying anything, Keyleth shocked just as much as she was.  “I was watching your stream,” Vex started to explain, “after watching your last video.  I saw you were at my cabin and were talking to my bear.  I just wanted to say I don’t’ hate you, Trinket made a mistake.  And now I realize how unprofessional this is, crashing your shoot,” Vex said awkwardly slinking behind the corner of her cabin embarrassed.  

“Excuse me,” Vex heard Keyleth say to her viewers, and followed Vex.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Vex said her head in her hands sitting on the deck of the cabin  That was one of the most embarrassing things that she had done.

“No, you don’t have to apologize for anything,” Keyleth assured her, “I mean it’s your cabin after all, I’m just trespassing.”

“Trinket showed you where the key was, that means you’re a guest,” Vex said giving her an attempt at a smile.  

“This is not how I expected to meet you,” Keyleth said taking a seat next to Vex on the porch.

“Well if we’re being fair I didn’t you’d ever talk to my bear and spend the week thinking I hated you,” Vex said

“So…, you don’t hate me,” Keyleth asked quietly unsure if she was going to like the answer.  “Trinket said you don’t say a lot of good things about me when you talk to him.”

“I promise Keyleth I don’t’ hate you,” Vex swore, “Look, it’s nothing you did, I just…, I have issues. I promise, I’ll make a video telling everyone that I don’t’ hate you, post an apology letter, anything you want. I owe you that much.”  

“Well…,” Keyleth said thinking, “I mean you already said you didn’t hate me in my segment.  Do you maybe want to come on with me and we can put the rumors to death for real?”

“You really don’t’ mind if I’m in your video,” Vex asked incredulously. She expected Keyleth to hate her for making her think that she was hated.

“I mean I kind of dreamed of collaborated with you for a while,” Keyleth said her cheeks red, “I wasn’t lying when I said you were the reason I got into making videos.”

“Let’s do it, if it’s really okay,” Vex said standing up face to face with Keyleth.  She never realized how tall Keyleth was, even without the antlers she was almost half a foot taller than Vex.  It was kind of a turn on.

“Great,” Keyleth said jumping up and down in excitement and hugged her.  Vex never thought she’d feel like Elenore to Keyleth’s Tahani but, to quote the Good Place, “of course your hugs are amazing.”

Five minutes later they were in front of Keyleth’s camera starting their collaboration. “Hi Kikinuts, I’m back, sorry about that. I just had to work a few things out with my special surprise guest, Vex’ahlia of Vex’halia’s Visions.”

“That’s Keyleth, you can call me Vex though,” Vex said, not wanting to tell her that she liked it when Keyleth used her shortened name, it made her smile.  “I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by,” she cursed herself for sounding so stupid.  Of course, she was in the neighborhood this was her cabin.  “I was watching your lasted video, which was great by the way,” she said turning to Keyleth, “you know up until you met Trinket, my animal companion.”

“Yeah, he’s wonderful but I think we got a bit confused,” Keyleth admitted.

“He’s my beautiful baby boy, but as much as I love him, he’s still a bear and doesn’t always understand the things I tell him. So I’m sorry about that, I can defanetly say that I don’t hate you Keyleth, I’ve actually a big fan.  Subscribed the moment I saw your videos.”

“Well that’s really sweet, I’m glad that we got all that cleared out of the way, because like I said I’m a big fan of yours too,” Keyleth said giving her warm smile that shot through the heart.  “Hear that views, Vex doesn’t hate me and I don’t hate her so maybe we can drop the whole thing, it was a misunderstanding.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really mean it when I said those things to him about you,” Vex explained without thinking, only to realize what she said when they came out of her mouth.

“Oh,” Keyleth said and the look on her face could make puppies cry, “so you did say those things about me.”

“Keyleth not like that,” Vex said she was normally so cool and good with her words, what was it about this girl that made her so stupid.

“It’s fine Vex,” Keyleth said trying to keep her smile on her face despite also looking like she was going to cry.

“I’m such an ass, it really wasn’t like that Keyleth,” Vex said turning away and saw the chat was exploding asking them over and over what she meant, or what she said.  It was starting to get aggravating.

“Vex,” Keyleth said meeting her eye, despite looking hurt the druid’s eyes were also strong, “it’s okay, you said you don’t hate me and are a fan and I believe you.  You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

“Keyleth..,” Vex started she’d rather be vulnerable than let Keyleth think she hated her.  “It’s true, I said those horrible things about you, I’d say it pretty often, Trinket being a bear only knows the words.  If he was a person he might understand the nuance a bit better.  I’m not exactly the best person, I’m really competitive and don’t really know…, pretty girls make me stupid, especially the ones that I have a crush on, not the best combination,” and there it was she just admitted in front of all Keyleth’s fans and the woman herself that she had a crush on her. “Like I said, if Trinket was a people person maybe he’d understand that, since all my friends have told me I have a crush on you despite my name calling.”  There it was, Vex didn’t do vulnerable, but hey, it was a crazy situation and she didn’t have time to think about it.  

“Oh,” was all Keyleth could say as she blushed as red as her hair.

“You don’t’ have to say anything,” Vex assured her.  “I know this isn’t how you thought your day was going to go I just felt like being honest to avoid any more confusion.”

Keyleth started to hyperventilate and pulled out a paper bag. Vex was right, this definitely wasn’t how she expected her day to go.  “Shit,” Vex said and rushed into the house to fetch Keyleth a glass of water.  By the time she was back Keyleth seemed to calm down a little, at least enough to drink the glass of water.  “I’m really sorry about that, I didn’t expect that reaction,”

“No need to apologize,” Keyleth said after finishing the water, “its just not everyday your first crush surprises you a dozen times over and admits to having a crush on you.  Let’s turn this off,” she said jumping up and turning her camera off to the outrage of the chat. “We’ll tell you guys about what happens later,” Keyleth promised before signing off.  She started to pinch her arm wondering if this was all just a crazy dream, maybe she died in the storm and this was hell.

“We don’t’ have to do anything about this Keyleth, hell, we didn’t even know each other before today. If you want we could write the whole thing off as a skit we made together to show people we don’t’ actually hate each other.  We can say it was my idea,” Vex offered.  

“I don’t want to do that,” Keyleth said firmly, “I’m not going to lie about how I feel.  It’s just,” she started to say her face falling, “I’ve never dated anyone before, I’m a mess when it comes to talking to people, that’s why I move around so much and shoot videos in the woods with my only friend.  I’ve had a crush on you for so long, but it’s always been from a far. What happens if I ruin that, what happens when I ruin that, I won’t even have my stupid childish crush to fall back on.”

“Well why don’t we start off small,” Vex suggested, “we don’t have to get together and go steady right now, maybe we can start off with something small.  My name is Vex’ahlia Vessar, I’m a nature vlogger and 3 time gold winning medalist in archery,” she said holding out her hand, “it’s nice to meet you.”

For a moment Keyleth could only laugh, not at Vex, but at the whole situation, still, she took Vex’s outstretched hand, “Keyleth Zephara of the Ashari, the future voice of the Tempest and a nature vlogger as well.”

Those little gestures became conversations, those conversations became long talks and before you knew it, like and then love.  Keyleth wound up spending a record six months in Emon, despite the forests being nice but not impressive.  If it was Vex and Trinket’s home then it was the most amazing place in the world. And when she left Emon after those six months, she didn’t leave alone, she was never alone again.

   I really needed to wrap that up, the ending was getting away from me.  This was supposed to be a quick silly modern youtuber au that got out of hand. Originally it was supposed to end with Trinket telling Keyleth about Vex’s crush on her, but for some reason I added a lot of unnecessary drama.  Oh well it’s done and I hope you enjoyed it.  I realize that the characters are kind of ooc, but like I said they kind of got away from me.  

I also don’t know why I made Vex an Olympic athelet, it just kind of fit since she is a ranger class still, despite the world not really needing adventurers as much as it did in the old days.  Still, I did it and it’s done.  For anyone interested, I’d say that they’re around level 10, sort of when everything picks up in the campaign.

[be-quiet-bimbo]

i know guys like bimbos but i'm not one.... but i'd like to be... how do i do that? i'm pretty intelligent and do not come across like that!! please help!!

There’s multiple things to address in this question.  I’ll try to hit them all.

First, there is certainly an appeal toward bimbos for a lot of men, but don’t make the assumption that all men like them, or that they’re even the most preferred type of woman.  It’s more correct to say that many men are drawn to certain aspects of a bimbo.  But the total bimbo package may not be what they want to spend their time with.  So don’t become a bimbo just to try landing a guy, if that’s not what you feel you are inside or truly dream of being.

The aspects that seem to have the greatest appeal for a large number of men, and what seems to be the core of what makes a bimbo, are hyper-sexualization, superficiality, and low intelligence.

Hyper-sexualization: This one is the probably the biggest attraction for men toward bimbos.  I think it’s pretty obvious why.  Big boobs, butts, and lips; tight, revealing clothes; showing lots of skin and fully exposing themselves; engaging in casual or wanton sexual acts... all those are playing to primal male urges toward sexual conquest.

But this is achievable without having to be a bimbo.  Exercise, implants, and other surgeries can alter the body for a more sexualized appearance.  And anyone can choose to engage more freely in sex.  While bimbos are generally regarded as sluts, not all sluts are bimbos.

Superficiality: Bridging between the other two topics, superficiality is a hallmark of bimbo nature that also expands outside of those topics to stand on its own.  A bimbo is anything but deep.  They focus on appearances and surfaces: clothes, jewelry, cuteness, bright or stark colors, soft textures.  The common theme is that it must be pleasing without requiring much attention or consideration.  Complexity and subtlety are, at best, lost on a bimbo.  More commonly, they will confuse or disturb a bimbo.

Aspiring bimbos should start turning their focus toward the superficial.  If something requires thought to appreciate it, reject it and find something else to pay attention to, something that is instantly pleasing the moment you see it or feel it.

Low Intelligence: This is probably the hardest one to deal with for most aspiring bimbos, because it’s counter-culture, and difficult to engineer.  On the whole, humans are extremely intelligent as a species, and our culture (as a species) leans toward advancing that intelligence.  Some regional cultures insist on advancing male intelligence while trying to deny advances in female intelligence, but the effectiveness in achieving that is debatable, but not really the subject here.

Whereas there’s lots of ways to alter a body, it’s actually quite difficult to permanently alter a person’s brain without doing significant damage to them.  What can be done is to retrain someone to think or behave differently; this is not an instantaneous - or even quick - change, though.

The best advice I’ve seen or heard on this subject is short but profound: choose dumb.  We are faced with more choices than we even realize every day of our lives.  But when you realize that you have a choice, you can start choosing the less intelligent option.  I don’t mean to start making choices that would be harmful or destructive because it would be stupid to make that choice.  But when having to select between options, go for the one that does less to engage or promote intelligence.  A magazine is less intelligent than a book.  A fashion magazine is less intelligent than a news magazine.  Reality TV is less intelligent than a documentary.  Avoid the things that make you think.  Go for the things that trigger easy and instant gratification, and are then just as easily left behind.

Any of the three characteristics above can be achieved without going the route of “full bimbo”.  Choose what works for you, and then work to embody that as fully as you can.  If you really want to be a through-and-through bimbo, you’ll need to fully invest yourself in all three.

If, in the end, you’re really just trying to do it to get a guy, let me tip you off to the common theme in the traits that make bimbos appealing for many (not saying all) men.  Simplicity.  That’s it.  They’re easy.  Or at least, the concept many men have about bimbos is that they’re easy.  Easy to have sex with. Easy to please (i.e., shiny things). And easy to dominate intellectually. (Not talking BDSM, there.  Just talking about being smarter than them.)

Now, before everyone gets up in arms, thinking I’m saying men are weak or can’t handle strong women or can’t deal with challenges in life: I’m not talking about reality.  Men (who are drawn to bimbos) are attracted to the fantasy they have of what a bimbo is.  This isn’t a negative, though; it’s natural, and essentially universal.  Pretty much everyone fantasizes about a life of luxury and ease; isn’t that the essence of the bimbo fantasy?  But many men who go after the fantasy and encounter the reality of a bimbo often have to deal with the disappointment of realizing that bimbos are real people too.  That means they’re complex, have emotions and reactions, have and cause problems, and everything else that goes with real life.

Many men who run into that reality reject it and go seeking their fantasy again.  Some recognize that it’s a fantasy, and give up on it, leaving it as just a fantasy.  But there are some who accept the fantasy, find someone whose fantasies closely match their own, and work together on making their reality as close to their shared fantasy as they can.

To those in the last group: I salute you!