#does it make sense idk. my playthrough my city now

[an-orca-on-a-stroll]

wanted to share some pics of my durge :D his name is blade, he's a ranged champion fighter with a bit of gloomstalker ranger, so he's like a sharpshooter and prefers stealth, but being a drow + high dexterity means he can use finesse weapons so he's not afraid to get all close and personal and thrust a rapier through someone's skull every now and then. chaotic neutral, he enjoys some casual murder and the occasional massacre (he definitely had a good time killing all those goblins). he absolutely will kill you if he finds you annoying, also he enjoys fucking with or antagonizing people and is generally a menace. is pretty arrogant, acts kinda high and mighty sometimes, definitely made some questionable decisions that got him (and the party) in trouble by being a little shit at inappropriate times. but he likes children and usually helps them (not always kindly but. y'know. he does help them), likes animals (rip to that squirrel though) and is very loyal to those he considers his friends and if someone tries to hurt them he will tear off their limbs and start beating that person with them. then gouge out their eyes and kill them in the worst most painful way etc etc. his besties are astarion lae'zel and shadowheart. isn't he adorable

I just got to the start of Act 3 (after 3 months of playing, my job is killing me) dunno what route im going for if good or evil idk im just vibing also i have the durgetash brainrot so who knows he might become evil if gortash asks him who said tjat. anyway

[carryoncastiel]

Thinking thoughts about Wyll and his story. Two things I've gathered 1. His character has been completely rewritten in developement. 2. General consesus is that something is missing from his story.

Now, I haven't played early access and I don't feel like going through old content so this is just the conclusion I came to playing the game as is plus little mentions of things I saw in tumblr posts.

So Wyll is 17 when Mizora comes to him and makes him sell his soul to defeat Tiamat's cultists that want to destroy Baldur's Gate. In this fight he gets pretty badly injured on his face, losing his right eye and sustaining noticeable scars.

We can assume he went back to his father right after the fight and Ulder seeing his 17 year old son, his only child, missing an eye and probably still bleeding, does not listen to his explanation at all (if Wyll even gets to say anything) (edit: I forgot: Wyll actually tells you that he couldn't tell his father about his pact and he tried to show him the battlefield but there was nothing left to show. Still...what did he think was the reason Wyll made the pact then?) and just banishes him from the city for daring to make a pact with a devil.

After that the story gets a bit murky. Wyll tells you how he saved a boy from goblins and that gave him the calling to be the blade of the people. Throughout the game he will casually mention heroic fights he had and you and the other characters take it at face value because there's nothing telling you you shouldn't believe him - but it also doesn't really lead anywhere storywise. He just is the Blade of Frontiers and he does heroic deeds.

What kept bothering me in my first playthrough is that Wyll will casually flirt with Lae'zel and Shadowheart at the beginning of your journey. And it feels very random. The natural conclusion would've been (for me at least) for him to very obviously flirt with the player character too but he doesn't really do that. You have to ask about the dancing and you have to convince him to get one kiss. Even if he's drawn back for other reasons it still doesn't add up.

And of course once you start romancing him you find out he gets all giddy and blushy after that one short kiss at the party and he's a pure romantic at heart who wants to do this the proper way like the bards sing about in old ballads and he won't do anything beyond kissing until he literally proposes and you say yes. Also if you don't romance him and Lae'zel mentions being interested in him at the party, then next day she will lament that they spend the night together but he literally just wanted to talk (did I mention I love Wyll a lot).

The other thing is what Mizora says when you rescue her from the mindflayer colony. She tells you about asking Wyll how they met and the way she says it made me assume it would make Wyll look really bad. But then you hear the story about him saving Baldur's Gate from cultists and there's nothing bad that Wyll did here (besides selling his soul which duh).

Idk much about early access Wyll as I've said but I think he was supposed to be a huge liar. So I assume that actually Wyll was supposed to have made the pact out of seflish reasons and/or making the pact had major repercussions for other people. If for example innocent people died as a consequence it would also seem a tiny bit more reasonable for Ulder to not want to listen to Wyll's reasoning (still a shitty father move though). Now, he would've still been a 17 year old, a child essentially, getting tricked by a devil into selling his soul without realising the full impact it would have. But he would also feel incredibly guilty about it and then lie about it being his proudest moment that he never regretted to mask that fact.

Then he would go on to create The Blade of Frontiers, this huge legend that does every heroic deed you can think of. The flirting with every pretty woman he meets then also would make more sense in a "that's just what heroic male characters in stories do" way.

He would still be a good and heroic person at heart but some of it would be an exaggerated persona he created out of the guilt and shame of what happened when he made the pact and also the feeling of abandonment he got from his father banishing him.

I like Wyll as he's written now but I'd be lying if I didn't say he's missing some depth and giving him more flaws than just "he made a deal with a devil (out of completely selfless reasons no less)" would make him a more interesting character.

[hollowtones]

i can't find the vods for the rest of your endwalker playthrough (if you even did stream the rest) so i was wondering, what were your opinions on 6.0? (also what were your reactions to That urianger scene)

I think I only did like one or two streams of it. It ran kinda bad when I streamed it, people didn't want to watch it, and I wasn't getting much out of streaming it compared to just playing it on my own time. That and I think I had a really severe depressive episode at the time (for unrelated reasons).

IDK if anyone's still trying to avoid spoilers but I'll throw it under a read-more.

It's been a while since I last played so my memory's kind of spotty. I liked it, though. It felt like a satisfying conclusion to what they've been getting at since 2.0 MSQ, and a nice little dialogue on despair and exhaustion and depression and hope, and finding ways to carry on and keep living and keep loving and keep trying. I feel like that's when the game's overall writing and theming tends to be at its strongest (yes I liked the Dark Knight questlines haha).

I remember having mixed feelings about how they pulled off the Garlemald segment & the "Alphinaud and Alisaie's shit head dad" plotline but I don't remember enough of the specifics to really elaborate on that.

Alisaie has lesbian college admirers and I thought that was funny.

I came out of 5.5 MSQ expecting White Woman Jumpscare Hydaelyn to be a little trite but I ended up really liking Venat. I felt kinda whatever about Emet-Selch coming back, but I didn't hate what they did with him I guess, and his earless-Viera boy toy was fun. Fandaniel felt like The Joker but he still felt like a fine first-act villain. The way they write him (& Meteion) in the later chunk of the game felt more interesting to me, & felt like a fun play on "Shadowbringers"-era Emet-Selch's whole "AMAUROT, BABY! GREATEST CITY IN DA WORLD, BABY! SLIMES ALL OVER DA STREET, BABY!" nostalgia. It was funny when he was The Joker, though.

Final area was thematically and visually really interesting. I'm excited we got more stuff related to Omega & I'm glad we got more "btw the dragons are aliens" stuff. I've seen a lot of people forget about that, for whatever reason. That one area right by the end that was completely desolate, with no people & no indication of who lived there, was a really good setpiece. The Namazu canonically suffer in all possible dimensions and all possible worlds and you cannot help but laugh out loud.

I kind of rolled my eyes at Zenos coming back. "By the way he's a Reaper now" felt like it amounted to nothing, but admittedly I never did the Reaper questline or the post-6.0 stuff. Getting to punch him in the face at the end was fun.

Music was good, I liked the way they played with different motifs & I really like how that comes to a head in the final boss fight.

I was expecting moon rabbits to be grating and insufferable but I liked them. I fucking love that none of this planet's moons are normal. Why are they both orbital prison-ships. I love it.

Zodiark's design owned and Hydaelyn's design was okay. Very Yoshitaka Amano design, which makes sense given how he did that one boxart for "A Realm Reborn" & she looks a lot like she does there, but I kinda wish she got to look more monstrous and weird. She kept talking up becoming a monster to do what she felt was right!!! I wish that had informed her design a little more.

Hamburgers exist & I do like that the animators got to livingly render G'raha Tia going to town on one like those weird clips of anime girls where it looks like they've never eaten in their lives.

I don't remember what you mean by "the Urianger scene". LOL

You didn't ask, but the crafting/gathering questlines were a lot of fun. I feel like they (& the guildleves) added some fun extra context to everything going on while I was going through the MSQ.

I liked it overall. I don't think it's the highest point of the game's writing, but I had a good time and felt very satisfied by the time it came to a close.

[tragedy-peanut-gallery]

Okay I know like two people liked the one post about my bg3 characters but FUCK IT!! I’m posting them anyways for those two people!!! (And for myself cause these are my enrichment hours tee-hee 🤭)

Got some sweet sweet lore under the cut for em too >:) (a bit of a spoiler alert for the Dark Urge so….. yuh-)

Okay so this first one’s name is Dahlia and she’s from my first ever playthrough of the game. I based her off one of my old dnd characters and she was supposed to be this disney princess-esque character who’s super sweet and polite and charming- only for me to realize that there’s almost no polite options in game 💀 so she’s more neutral good but a bit of a bitch with enough rizz to convince a demon to kts so…. That’s kinda neat, ig. Her whole story is that she’s a runaway noble who abandoned her siblings because she wanted to pursue a career in puppetry instead of being in some stinky betrothal and then got yoinked by the nautiloid so decided that Cool, I’m An Adventurer Now. Of course she’s romancing Karlach cause that’s my wife <3 unfortunately tho I didn’t like what was going on in that playthrough cause again, it was my first time I had no clue what I was doing, so Dahlia has been abandoned in the saves until I have enough strength to restart with her some other time rip sweet princess :(

This second one is Pearl, my current tav playthrough! She’s not a tiefling, believe it or not, I just had a mod that let any race have horns so she’s just a kinda fucked up half elf. Girlie’s chaotic good in the sense that she does the right things sometimes, mostly if she can make a profit while doing it, honestly she was supposed to be a criminal but I messed up during character creation so she’s an acolyte so…. Idk, her story’s that she was on the path of becoming a criminal so her parents sent her off to a temple to straighten her out but she just ended up running off and becoming a cool city bounty hunter (and learning abt religion which is RICH cause she’s a fucking dumbass and int’s her dump stat) Was planning on making her the Superslut run character who sleeps with everyone but she only successfully slept with lae’zel before falling head over heels and simping for wyll, so she’s getting a silly lil fairytale romance, good for her <3

Third one’s Clover, my durge, my sopping wet sad lil rat that I found in the dumpster. She’s just a plain ol human who’s trying her darndest to be a Lawful Good Person™️ but whoopsies! She’s a dark urge person and has to constantly resist her endless bloodlust! Ngl she was a pretty bad person pre-tadpole (which is a given cause…. Bhaalspawn), but ever since she has her memory wiped she’s become convinced that Actually, I Am A Good Paladin! The weird happy feeling she gets when killing people is because she has a strong sense of justice guys, she promises!!! Currently she’s romancing Shadowheart and trying her best to convince her friends to do the Right Thing, and she’s severely fighting violent thoughts every time they point out that she does bad things sometimes *cough* ALFIRA *cough*. It’s okay when she does tho cause she has very big sad eyes and cries and feels guilty after doing a bad thing!!

[languidangel]

Ohmygod ohmygod. I'm so sleep deprived but I called out of work so it's fine. I kinda did a quick as fuck playthrough (took me six hours with the breaks I took because I'm bad at videogames) and I have some thoughts SEPARATE WAYS SPOILERS AHEAD:

I didn't think they would retcon Ada saving Luis, it was more so something I just really HOPED would happen but the fact she was RIGHT THERE and still went after Krauser? In character but disappointing. I guess her character arc is a slower one. Although maybe she just assumed that what Luis said was true or Leon could help him idk.

WESKER AND ADA OHMYGOD?!? I SAID THEY WERE FUCKING AS A JOKE BUT CAPCOM SAID BET! THEYRE FUCKING FUCKINH OHMYGOD?!?!?!

Whatever shit with the one thing (I think U3 in the original but I'm not sure if it was given a different name here) was...somewhat anticlimactic. I can see the different strain not needing radiation to kill it but I think it would have been more interesting if Ada coughed it up way later in the game.

No Wesker OR Krauser boss fight wtf.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH WESKER JUST SITTING OUT ON A BOAT AND MAKING ADA DO EVERYTHING?!?! JUST TO SHOW UP SOMETIMES WITH A GUN LIKE "hey wifey :3 btw if you don't get my amber I'll shoot you" ??????

No Ada background story :(

The jacket bit was kinda cute. But also?!? Why does the merchant need it???? Hello??? I guess it probably is expensive lol. Poor Leon.

THE LUIS AND ADA DANCE SCENE HOLY SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT LUIS FLIRTED SO MUCH. THE MOST BISEXUAL MAN EVER OML. Anyways...AND THE TIED UP LINE????? I LOVE THEM TOGETHER ACTUALLY THEYRE SO CUTE!!!

I think people have already mentioned this but Krauser??? Is here??? Why???? How the fuck did he even hear about Los Illuminados? He's (supposedly) not working for Wesker????

"fly, my pretty" ADA I WILL BE SUCH A GOOD SPOUSE, YOU ARE SO ADORABLE EVEN IF YOURE A LITTLE MORALLY BANKRUPT BUT LISTEN OKAY

God and her fucking melee moves, she serves cunt this entire DLC.

Okay now for the bit that will make people mad. I'm SO SO happy with how they changed Ada/Leon's relationship. I actually really disliked aeon and somehow them having what feels like a more natural relationship given Racoon City...made me actually consider that ship. Like I actually felt the weird sort of longing that they both had for each other that I didn't enjoy in 4 original or 6 (omg 6, that needs its own rant post) Ada is clearly still attracted to him but she has to be forced to see him having gotten over her, at least to whatever degree Leon can get over anything, especially seeing him with Ashley. Ohmygod. There's a lot of subtext I'm reading into but her watching them after she wakes up on the cot, I could feel the conflicting emotions there even though Ada didn't say shit about it, because she wouldn't.

How DARE you make me fight more regeneradors Capcom

I wanted more Ash/Ada interactions and the one we got was okay but I feel like with how little Ashley actually saw Ada, a lot of her questions to Leon don't...super make sense?

Anyways I will be playing it again sometime, it was really good. I definitely missed some things.

[toshiirou]

This isn’t about Nintendo’s inability to not be fucking racist towards darker skinned people but like

For a town that seems to have an economy that is 100% based around merchantry and trade it seems like there wouldn’t be a snowflake’s chance in hell that a Zora would be able to last very long IN the town, let alone even getting to it

Idk I just think that’s interesting cause like obviously it’s the desert it’s gonna be pretty rough but like not even a kiddie pool or 2 for the fish people????? They’re like 1 of the 4-5 races that can do trade good and aren’t koroks

hmmm so like. the game mechanics of botw make it so in the desert being around a body of water keeps you cool. see the oasis, kara kara, etc. (also neat is equipping a flame blade gives u plus 1 cold resistance). this leads me to think that gerudo city is climate controlled because of the waterways that run along the roofs of all the buildings. (in my mind the city was built over a source of groundwater bc that's the only way it would make sense). i think it would be hypothetically possible for a zora to survive in the town, especially on a nocturnal schedule if the heat is still too much.

but i think it would be impossible for them to travel to gerudo wasteland, nevermind crossing the desert, because the zora seem to travel primarily through rivers/waterways. looking at a map, the furthest a river goes is the digdogg suspension bridge that stops just before the gerudo canyon pass. to get to that stretch of river the zora would have to swim around the castle, which would be hard i think with the calamity ooze/active guardians at the time of the playthrough as the castle activates.

honestly something i think you are getting at is that the world of botw seems very... stagnant. now this might be intentional due to the post apoc setting or it might be poor worldbuilding. but there's minimal culture in the setting and most people work with simple trade. what do people do for their pastimes? what do the gorons do besides quest-related challenges and mining? some gerudo just sit around drinking and chatting which... is a thing i guess. plus i think the gerudo have 2 crafts people and one of them sits around and does nothing until the player sets up tarry town. only the gerudo, gorons, and hylians seem to travel any great distance, and these are almost always small scale merchants. where the rest of these big settlements kinda... do nothing and wait for the odd traveller to pass through. only 3 zora seem to travel: sidon to get link, that wife washed away, the old priest for tarry town.

i understand that the game is set up in such a way that the player has stuff to buy and do. but you can also make a decent arguement for the world of tloz being implicitly hylian centric, where hylians are granted less homogeneity, more active roles in the world around them, and most actively progress the plot. you could also make the arguement that some places, especially the long lived zora, ended up becoming deeply isolationist and unwilling to engage with or help their neighbours in the face of the calamity and the death of their princess. it's an interesting thought.

[lazyliars]

I FINISHED DELTARUNE CHAPTER 2

Very fun. I was genuinely struggling with the last boss, played it up to 1 AM last night, was about to give up and go to bed, and then...

I don't know what happened, but something clicked in my brain? Suddenly I was perfectly dodging attacks and had the pattern LOCKED down?? I was having such a miserable time right until then. Then out of nowhere I started seeing the freaking code and owned it.

Spoiler-laden thoughts under the cut.

THAT ENDING.

So Kris opened a dark fountain in their house, right? That's what happened?

Setting aside the obvious "What the hell does it mean for a fountain to exist in the Light world" question, does that imply that they're the Knight? Probably not, right, because the King and The Queen would have recognized them...

I'm still on my crack theory that Papyrus is the knight. Think about it! He just arrived to town, and this business with the dark fountains only started recently iirc? And in UT, Papyrus wants to join the royal guard... in other words, a knight.

And considering the Lightners that have entered the Dark World so far seem to be ones facing serious emotional issues (Susie feeling like she'll always be "the bad guy", Noelle's difficulties speaking up for herself and dealing with her family life crumbling, Berdly's superiority/inferiority stemming from skewed self-perception, the myriad things going on with Kris...)

Papyrus just moved to a new place, and doesn't seem to want to leave the house. It's not hard to imagine a person struggling with the loneliness that comes from a situation like that.

The allure of being a powerful, influential figure in the Dark World would make sense.

That ties Sans into this weirdness, which in turn gets us a little bit closer to whatever the hell Gaster has to do with everything.

...or maybe not.

Theories aside, I really loved the cyber-city as a setting. I was skeptical at first because I usually dislike "electric" themed worlds, just, aesthetics wise, but they knocked it out of the park. I especially liked the glitchy garbage heap part.

The enemies were cool and adorable, the Werewires as a standout were creepy and awesome. Also liked the mechanics of the Butlers.

For characters? I liked the Susie and Noelle-budding romance, it was cute. The ferris wheel was such a good sequence.

I liked Noelle in general. Not too many specifics, I just liked the way they handled her.

AND BERDLY. Goddamn it. As soon as I saw him in the dark world, I fucking KNEW he would be my favorite by the end of the chapter because Toby Fox does not do things half-assed and I'm a sucker for character development. But Yeah no, I really, really liked Berdly's arc.

This wasn't as much of a Susie-heavy chapter as the last, but the developments she did have were nice. Her excitement at seeing Lancer was so sweet! And at the ending, I took her to the bunker, where two other kids were there, and one off-handedly said something mean about Kris and she stepped in and scared them off and then checked on Kris like... 🥺

And Ralsei. Ralsei... Gonna be honest, I was super sus of him at the start of the chapter, and still kinda am, but in a different way now. He DEFINITELY knows more than he's letting on, but whereas at the start of the chapter I was getting almost... idk, smug vibes? Now I feel pretty confident that he's more in the vein of "doing what he thinks is best" type beat. Still sus, and I still wonder what he talks to Kris about when the player's perspective shifts to Susie in both chapters... but I don't think he's a villain-in-disguise. At least, not intentionally.

There's still a lot of mysteries surrounding him that might point to something more sinister, but... yeah, idk. I think part of my initial hesitance was because I was still adjusting to his goat-face after having replayed ch. 1 with the covered bird-ish face.

Also the Swan-boat scene was soooooooooooo cute.

The big plot still remains obscured, but what with "the roaring" being name-dropped, we have some sort of endgame we could potentially ascribe to the Knight, but no motivations to couple with it yet...

I really hope in chapter 3 we get to see them. Maybe not like, ACTUALLY see them, but hear them speak, get a feel for their voice and what they're like...

ANYWAYS. tldr, Deltarune ch. 2 was very good, just as good as ch. 1 in my opinion. Now, the waiting game begins for chapter 3.

OH. Also, I am absolutely OBSESSED with the Snowgrave route. Hooooooly shit. Just... wow. I need to watch a full playthrough before I make any judgements about what it says for the story, but what I've seen so far...

It seems like a deadly reminder that the events of the Dark World DO have consequences for the Light World. It may feel like fantasy, but it can easily twist out into reality, in drastic and horrifying ways.

[common-blackbird]

it’s time... for a dragon age 2 playthrough post. scroll on!

The things i loved most:

1) the frame of the game - Cassandra interrogating Varric.

What a great way to get hook the player. Like, the opening of guards dragging this poor dwarf with cuts of the title, and then Cassandra demanding answers... Whoaaa! I have no idea if that’s usually done in games or not, but it’s definitely such an amazing intro with characters introducing themselves as well as the story so perfectly, it captivates instantly. The tutorial has a charm to it bc varric is messing around. Which serves to show more of his character. Cassandra’s personality was pretty much blank here but her presence is so powerful. Something happened, something huge and they know and i was about to find out. I can’t describe how excited that intro made me feel. Each time the scene cut to the interrogation scenes, my eyes were glued more than ever. Just GREAT.

Also it makes for a very convenient scapegoat for every plothole ever with the argument “it’s just his version of the story”.

2) The story.

It’s tragic. It’s amazing! The further you play, the more you can see that no matter what you do, everything leads to a disaster. Hawke doesn’t want to take sides, tries to mediate, does not want to get involved, but just can’t stop it. For every thing gained, Hawke loses two more. Your friends come with packages that get you involved in terrible stuff. Your good intentions result in disasters. The whole game you spent time climbing  the social ladder not only to reach the top hauntingly alone after losing all of your family, but also losing even that empty title and watching as the city you started to find your place in fall apart in blood. UGH! GAH! FEELS!

3) Kirkwall.

“ But, I beg you my dear readers, never forget that, no matter the subject of any story that might ever be explored between the cliffs of Kirkwall, She will find a way to steal the thunder of the protagonist. Or become the antagonist. Kirkwall is never a mere background. We could even understand it so: the challenge for you dear readers is to prevail against the smokescreens and observe to what extent our characters are players or played by the merciless black souled stone giant. Enjoy playing the dare of the ages between the lines of these humble memoirs. “

Memoirs from the Downfall - Act I. Mirage    by Pfefferminze on ao3 (fic rec!)

This paragraph summs up what Kirkwall is better than I ever could. This shrouded mystery that surrounds Kirkwall keeps you on toes. From the first intro when Varric describes it (paraphrasing from memory) “Kirkwall. The city of chains. It is a free city - keeping in mind i use the  the word loosely”. You already start seeing how dark Kirkwall gets. The name, that derives from its black walls (interestingly, the walls in the game aren’t black...), the history of slavery etched into every corner of that city  and its surroundings - the names (The Gallows, the Bone Pit, the Wounded Coast, the pub The Hanged Man), the scenery (sculptures of slaves, the sunken ships by the Wounded Coast, slums and underground of the Lowtown and the Darktown).

I was really digging the History of Kirkwall and it loved it. Kirkwall has a history of violence, from the times of slavery of the Tevinter Imperium, to Qunari conquests and liberation from Orlais. Many revolts and uprising. And though free now, it’s suggested that, seeing that the Templars hold the most influence, Kirkwall is in the hands of the Chantry.

It’s full of cultures mixing together. I love how not one of your companions is a native to Kirkwall, and it feels like a crossroads to every character’s life. a very tragic crossroads in their life, seeing there’s nothing ever good waiting for you in Kirkwall.

Also there’s these codex entries you look for about the Enigma of Kirkwall. It was when i started digging that up that i fell in love with the city and all. Combined with the History of Kirkwall and every codex entry for every place in and out of Kirkwall, I was pulling my hair out reading about the Enigma. I..i’m still not quite sure what happened. Did the magisters use blood of thousands upon thousands slaves to unbound a forgotten one? if so, is that corypheus? And around what time did that happen?? I get that part (or all?) of Kirkwall’s mysterious violent agency is owed to corypheus slumbering relatively close to the city, but is that all? or is there something more? In either case, the Band of Tree are my heroes.

4) The characters.

I’ll talk more about them later, but in general, i just love how they oppose each other, how complex they are, and there is just not pleasing everyone. They feel genuine. They are all deeply flawed. They all have a solid background that makes their beliefs and actions convincing. The friendship/rivalry points are shaky though, and sometimes really don’t fit the character, but i guess there must be someone hating/loving your bad choices for the sake of the game regardless of characterisation. But all in all, i really appreciated each and every character, and loved how their viewpoints challenged me.

First i want a disclaimer: i love each and every character in the game, whatever i say against them doesn’t diminish my liking of them. My issues really aren’t significant. Also, i might and probably will say smth wrong bc i’ve only played it once. I’m a baby.

let’s start with Family:

Mama Hawke:

i really loved mama hawke. after reading her codex entry and an excerpt of some book on this site, i really feel for her. I mean, imagine going back to your home city where you only remember being respected and wealthy only to find out everything you remember is gone, you are forced to live in poverty, your kids are doing dangerous jobs and you can’t stop them bc you do need that money, you write letters trying to get the old connections but keep failing (at least it was implied?), it’s really been hard for her. I get why she was so obsessed with her legacy. She wanted her childhood home back. She can’t feel like Kirkwall is her home until she is home.

Also loved her antagonism towards Hawke. It seems she can no longer treat him like a child, so she criticises him instead. and honestly, hawke is doing some crazy things so he defintiely deserves some criticism. And stopping Hawke from taking carver with him is just logical to me, idk. since she knows she can’t stop Hawke from going, she will at least attempt to prevent the last kid from going into mortal danger. I’d do the same. AND AFTER HAVING CARVER DYING IN DEEP ROADS I AGREE WITH HER

All in all, i don’t think she’s a perfect mom, but there is no perfect mom, and Leandra does care a lot for her kids. The All that remains killed me too :’(

Bethany

RIP :(

Her codex is not long, but i guess she wasn’t happy with her magic :(

CARVER

My favouritest bestest bro in the game. A secondary character with an inferiority complex towards his sibling, with no sense of humour, blaming everyone else for his inability to get a life? I see a lot of myself in him.  He is sooo bitter, but doesn’t even realise (or at least doesn’t admit) that he’s his biggest obstacle. He feels like it’s Hawke’s fault for Carver not getting his place in the sun, but honestly, it’s Carver’s devotion to Hawke that keeps him from getting a life. He’s just tied with that responsibility and can’t break from it unless forced to.

His interactions with other characters are so funny. Either he’s bitter or he’s awkward, i die every time ;;__;;

Anyways, he became a templar in my game and i thought it fits better thematically (throughout the game the grey wardens felt more like a fanservice material since they really aren’t connected to the story), but after reading that meta about carver and seeing the striking difference between warden!carver and templar!carver i wanna reload and redo everything ;;__;;

i mean... carver isn’t exactly a templar material. The codex entry for templars says that the wanted characteristics of templars are strong faith and utmost  obedience, none of which carver really has... . But that moment when he stands up against meredith was *chefs kiss* worth it. I’m just wondering what happens after, is he still a templar? is he with hawke? is he in Kirkwall or if not, where did he go?? so many questions ;A;

Uncle Gamlen

I feel bad for him. Mostly he’s mean but i like to think it’s bc he’s so ashamed that his sister sees what he’s become. And he’s bitter about his own life. I was so happy when i realised he has a personal mission ;__; I feel bad that he didn’t come to live in the hawke estate tho, especially since Hawke is also alone there :(

COMPANIONS!

Varric

There are no words that can properly convey the amount of love for this guy. He is simply flawless. He’s a charming godfather of the dwarven mafia. I wanna have a charming godfather of the dwarven mafia in my life... He already becomes interesting with the intro, and i gotta say, out of all ~storyteller~ types of characters, he is the best. he puts a disclaimer at the beginning with that game tutorial, and during the whole interrogation he’s like “well, how do you know i’m not lying? i could be.” Also, his voice is the second best voice in the game. 

As for his personal missions, oh wow, that thing with his big bro really hurt. I also gave him the red lyrium... was that a mistake? will i regret it? ;__; I know the true friend would prevent him, but i also trust that varric knows how to handle dangerous stuff...

On a side note, since i’ve read the comics (no self control whatsoever), i loved the beginning of the Until We Sleep, where varric mentions it’s easier to imagine all the people he had to kill were evil than to face the fact that those were normal people just doing their job or trying to survive. Man, it hurts TAT

*garret hawke’s voice when he looks a certain way at the family crest in the hawke estate* ISABELA!

Ok ok, so, i love Carver bc i relate,  i love Varric because he’s simply perfect. But I love Isabela because she’s the most intriguing.

She just crashed in Kirkwall and really didn’t sign up for all the trouble she got. She never likes to have deep conversations, she is always downgrading herself and you just wonder, what is it that happened in her life, and you know her past mistakes haunt her, and she’s doing her best to move on. Her arc was i think my favourite. I think the comic Those Who Speak really adds a lot to her arc in DA2 and makes some of her choices more understandable. Her whole story is about her internal conflict of whether to survive or do the right thing. Her story about freeing the slaves got her ship wrecked is great and all for making her be a pirate with a golden heart, but that story about her drowning all the slaves few years previous make this freeing of slaves a big character moment for her. She finally did the right thing. And she got for it was more trouble, because she’s a pirate which means she can’t afford to just do the right thing. And throughout the game, that same story is going back and forth. She runs off with the Relic bc she’s done the right thing before and it got her nowhere, so now she decided to put her own survival as a priority, but comes back bc she’s too kind to just leave Hawke standing like that. And again, with the slaver papers, it’s the same reasoning: it’s her or the higher cause. She needs that ship. She chooses herself. It’s her biggest flaw. But hey, between pros and antis in your party, it was really refreshing to have someone who, along with varric, just gives you a break with moral high-grounds.

I only wish we actually got to see her more as a captain in power in the game or that she showed me that amazing hat she saw in lowtown. It’s cool that it’s implied that her crew doesn’t like her and she also lost most of them during the crash while the others probably left her after.

I love it when she says she goes sometimes to the docks just to watch the ships. That there is no feeling like sailing. I just want a spin-off with captain isabela’s terrible adventures (´A`)

Also, isabela’s VA is my fave, she really did an amazing job. she voices so smoothly, i wouldn’t know if i was playing a game or watching a movie. And has such a pretty way of talking...

Aveline

I’m really neutral towards Aveline. I like her personality and i like that she’s found herself a purpose and advanced in the guards, and she’s always looking out for everybody. I just wish her personal missions went in the vein of the one in act 1... i feel it would have been more interesting to see her having trouble in her position and that you can’t just waltz into Kirkwall and take command. It’s implied she’s being pressured, so i guess she’s just dealing with it herself, but i just... eh. She’s ok.

Merrill

Merrill actually has one of the if not the most tragic story-line that really challenges you both morally and emotionally. 

Her cheerful and cute personality is dampened by her constant dark leitmotif of willingly practicing blood magic. And i think her story really showed well the indirect consequences of it.

Not in one instance was Merrill’s practice of blood magic an active culprit for all tragedy that surrounds her. First, it seems that blood magic is practiced in the clan, seeing there is no freeing Flemeth without it, but i’m guessing it’s seldom practiced and with great caution. So Merrill wasn’t in any danger of being prosecuted for her blood magic. It’s actually her wish to study it further with the help of the demon that makes her an outcast. That and the magic mirror that apparently is forgotten for a reason. Also, it’s made quite clear that Merrill would be welcomed back no questions asked if she at any point decided to ditch the demon and live without the study of magic mirror. She, on the other side, is driven by the higher cause, the idea that figuring out the forgotten purpose of some evil mirror might help her clan, and is willing to be an outcast if it means reaching her goal and helping her clan. Fast foward to act 3, the clan is still there when they should have moved away, and it’s only when you face the demon possessed Keeper, you realise why. She knew Merrill would sooner or later bargain with the demon again. And she sacrificed herself, trapping the demon within her, as to prevent it. And i think that is why the clan stayed so long there. She waited for Merrill because she wanted Merrill to kill her, and hopefully with her the demon. It didn’t go as planned, obviously, but i really think she had good intentions. When Merrill does manage to kill the Keeper she’s forced to face the clan and i chose the wrong option of telling the truth which resulted in a massacre. Merrill gets back and regrets everything. She, however resolves to help the alienage.

The thing is, there is no one to blame Everyone had the best intentions. Everyone is working for the safety of the clan. it’s a story of sacrifice and when sacrifice feels like the wrong choice (whether it truly is or isn’t depends on your worldview) and it’s really done well.

But here are my issues with Merrill. I love her as a character, but i don’t agree with her decisions.  It’s a personal issue. Merrill is giving up everything as to help her clan by learning history of the evil mirror. And while this is a game where old things are important and significant, her mission is always explained as this duty of preserving history. And while i agree that preserving history is very important, there is a limit to it. you should never put history before the present. If your research endangers the present, you give up on that line. The other is that you need to make peace with the fact that many, many things are forgotten and will be forgotten. It’s sad, but you gotta make peace with the fact that some things are just gone.

And Merrill, who is a magic historian, fails to see that. So that kinda irks my historian moral codex. And in the end, as far as i know, Merrill doesn’t succeed in reviving the evil mirror and dedicates herself to help the alienage. It was a terrible way to learn that some things aren’t worth it.

The other, less personal issue, is that none of this had to happen. I mean, the keeper obviously didn’t think Merrill was experienced enough to actually deal with demons and therefore distrusted her and warned the clan about it. So, if Merrill was a little bit more patient she could have just studied normally under the keeper, and when she herself becomes the keeper, she could have fraternize with that demon however she wanted without much complications. So yeah... i guess youth is made of idealism.

But as i said, minor issues. Her story is really, really great.

Fenris

Fenris and Anders are my “i love you but i am soo annoyed by you but i still love you” characters. Half of the time they’re just there to make you feel guilty for being a neutral party. Which sometimes has me rolling my eyes. If Fenris and Anders actually got along with each other, slavery and mage oppression would have ended in 2 days. Which makes it all the more frustrating that they do not.

Fenris.. his voice. What a nice voice colour. So elegant, but kinda rough, sometimes he talks like he’s 80 years old, sometimes like he’s a teenager. I love it.

As for the rest, i mean, i don’t agree with his methods, but very often, the guy’s got a point. I get his experience with mages colours his view on them, so while i symphatise, it’s really hard to have him on my “free mages” missions when he’s my best tank and i want him to be on friendly terms with Hawke so this makes things... difficult. That aside, it’s interesting that fenris doesn’t see mages as evil per se, but rather victims who, in his experience, will always, always going to succumb to a demon. It’s an inevitable reality to him. And this makes me wonder if he ultimately, despite being his friend or lover, is just waiting for the day he will be forced to kill Hawke too :(

As for his missions, they were ok, it led up to culmination and i didn’t let him kill his sister bc Hawke has just lost his mom, don’t do smth you’ll regret ;__;

also, somewhere around the end of act 2 i decided to romance fenris bc i love to suffer, so i worked the whole act 3 trying to get more aproval points and also wondering why are there no romance options when i talk to him... turns out that one night stand with isabela romanced her and canceled fenris. But i never even finished the romance with her so i’m just ??? about it all.

I wish it was more explained about the tattoos fenris has? I just thought the tattoos would play a big role somewhere in the game and it just never happened. There was a banter with Merrill about how his tattoos are similar to valaslin, so i thought, hmm, interesting, maybe the two are connected. But nah they just glow in the dark and make you pass through walls. Whatevs.

also dude just goes and kills without a second thought, i’m just “mate, you gotta calm down”. But that’s his thing. He’s constantly bitter and is very bad at anger management. I can’t blame him, considering he lacks around 10- 20 years of experience due to amnesia.

He’s the only one who left me when Hawke sided with mages, and i was like, “ok i getcha, it’s been nice knowing you”, but then when i asked him to join me 5 minutes later he just went “ok changed my mind” which was so funny, like, where did all that integrity dissappear??? It would have been more impactful if the dialogue went in the line of “i want to stand by my principals but you’re a living breathing proof that not all mages are weak to succumb to demons so i’ll join you in the end” (and then side-eye “i told you so” when orsino turns into a demon)

And i wanna read the fenris comic now bc my question for every character here is what is their fate after kirkwall. I only know that isabela & varric are working for alistair and merrill wants to help the alienage. Aveline is i guess either dismissed from her job or got a pass after cullen took  the command.  But Carver?? Fenris?? Anders?? They never talked about long term plans...

Anders

ooh boy, here we go. there are many questions i have for him and am generally just hmmmm. First, as for his pro-mage rights - it’s like opposite fenris so i just have the same feelings: you mean well, i don’t agree with your methods, your experiences define your worldview so i let some things slide, but other things i will not agree with. Though, question: in how many circles has Anders been? He knows the kirkwall circle, he knows the fereldan circle. Seeing he has excaped 7 times, did they send him to a different circle each time or was the fereldan the last one? or the first one? Or maybe it was his boyfriend they transferred? did i miss something?

I’ll just whisper: awakening!Anders >>> da2!Anders. I just miss the old anders. Which says a lot bc during the awakening i was just “shut up anders”. I miss his bad jokes, his terrible attempts at flirting, his enjoyment of freedom, nagging all the time, and generally being more moderate in pro-mage rights. Like, in awakening, because it was not the only thing he talked about, it felt more personal and intense. Here mage-rights are the only thing he ever talks about + justice. I mean, please correct me if i’m wrong, this was just general impression. But to defend da2!Anders here, it makes sense that merging with mixed both of their personality, and i like that they did that. It’s also very sad.

The thing is, when i’m thinking about anders, i love his story and character. Just as it’s terrible that Fenris, having no memory from before being Fenris, Anders can never go back to being just Anders. And this, people, is why you don’t fraternize with spirits. He’s obviously afraid of how justice is affecting him and there are some bare traces of his old personality and i guess he wouldn’t be as radical if he didn’t have justice personality that can’t stand the injustice. And in combination with anders quite selfish personality (form awakening, and i say that lovingly), it makes him do things that justice wouldn’t condone. Anders is literally a walking bomb.

Again, same problem as with fenris, i really thought that the justice glow would have a incredibly significant culmination, and it didn’t, it was just to show that anders and justice are very bitter. Eh, ok.

Also, i let anders join after he blew up the chantry, bc he started it, so might as well follow it through.

Some minor characters that i remember

Senechal Bran for the next Viscount! He hated hawke so much but still put up with him.

Feynriel is the coolest mage in Kirkwall. I think his missions were my favourite. Dude goes from “oh no i’m a mage” to “i will just dreamwalk to tevinter and learn control the reality” to “i dream-killed bad people from thousands of miles away”. Does he appear in the next game? I want him on my side. He’s so cool.

I think the Maker is sending Cullen signs to quit being a templar. First job: evil mages that tortured you. Instead of “this job will kill you” h took it as  a “never trusting mages again, got it”. Second job: your boss is evil possessed paranoid maniac. Man, talk about bad luck.

What is the story of the Lady Elegant?

Flemeth had that big great talk at the beginning of the game and i thought by the end of the game i’d realise what it meant, but nope, still no clue.

Ok so I defeated Corypheus, but there was this looong shot of Larius walking away. Corypheus possessed larius, didn’t he? He’s out there. In a madman’s body. I know he appears in inquisition.

Many thoughts

I gotta say, in Kirkwall, at least, it didn’t feel like much of a challenge to pick a side. Like, there was no mage who said “hey i actually really like it here in the circle, the templars aren’t so bad”, and having templars actually smuggling mages from the circle says a lot to say the least. Every time a mage talks to you, unless you go with “oh they’re 100% lying”, their stories invoke sympathy and of course you want to help them. And then in 99% cases they turn to blood magic bc there was no other way. Except that dude who always hanged out with the wrong people, he only did blood magic to save Carver. But yeah, that turning to blood magic was like having Fenris side-eye me with an unspoken “i told you so” bc every mage, whether in desperation or hunger for power, will turn sooner or later into a demon. Regardless, blood magic was always in the act of desperation and self-defense. The only times where magic was actually evil was the slavers and the serial killer, who is a madman.

When i was reading the Enigma of Kirkwall, there was a part that talks of a blood-mage conspiracy and i was all, oh shit, there is a reason why templars are mean to mages! maybe the conspirators are framing innocent mages on blood magic crimes that they actually commit, maybe Meredith is actually on trail of the conspirators, maybe there is a reason for animosity on both sides. After all, Kirkwall was known for having a bigger number of apostates, a bigger number of blood magic cases and far more ruthless templars. It added up.Thinking back now, i never even got any specific reason why meredith was so intensely anti-mage, other than going mad.

But yeah, no conspirators. Just sad mages and mean templars, and good templars that get screwed by desperate and mean mages.

While in Kirkwall it’s easy to be a pro-mage, i was thinking a lot about mage-rights in general so let me indulge myself: there are circles, but the mages aren’t oppressed. Rather, the circles would be educational centres and society in every larger city where one learns how to properly handle magic bc magic is dangerous. You can leave when you pass the final exam and also come back anytime to hang out with mages who decide to live there since the institution would support mages.

Also, when one gets possessed, i’d invest more into “walk into their head and free them of demons” specialists. It’d be cool if you could have a dreamer who does that bc no lyrium spent. Honestly, why don’t they ever do that? How did the keeper do that rite for Feynriel? Was it blood magic?

I guess, you’d still have to answer for your crimes, tho no death punishment and degradation allowed. Blood magic wouldn’t be punishable by death, but rather have specialists who study it, but practice with extreme caution and use of another person’s blood is strictly prohibited.

Templars would still exist but completely reformed. No more “mages are all potential disasters”, but i’d rather make it that mages can too be templars, since they both have abilities that prevents the others from casting magic. This way the control system would be much like the dalish: if the keeper(mage) is possessed, the clan (which means the non-mages and the first(mage)) need to kill them. You could argue that you don’t need templars as non-mages, since mages can do it too, but seeing that in general people fear magic and feel inferior to it (since there’s a collective memory of the great tevinter imperium), having non-magic specialists would make them feel like on equal ground. The extra-reformed templars would be under Circle, not under direct command of the chantry, and circle, depending of whether chantry is reformed, might or might not be under chantry.

(a side note, i was thinking about templars recently and i can’t recall an instance where it says who had the clever idea to chew lyrium first? i just wanna know)

I know that DA2 wasn’t about grey wardens and therefore not about darkspawn, but seeing as in legacy we get corypheus being... an evil version of the Architect(??), i was only wondering do we get more answers about the darkspawn? is there hope for them? is the Architect still alive?

And oh, to turn to the Anders question:

Is he a terrorist, or was that just activism? I mean, i don’t see why those two can’t go together. blasting a building with a symbolic significance killing and harming many innocent people to get a message of your radical activism across belongs into a schoolbook of terrorism. Does he have a good cause? He sure believes so, and i, too, agree that mages should not be oppressed for just being mages. But does that mean this is the right way to do it? Personally, i do not condone any act of violence in service of a political or religious cause. I know it’s sometimes inevitable, but i like to believe there are more diplomatic ways, or at least not including an attack on civilians.

That aside, the moment where anders goes in front and just announces that the church was gonna blow up in a minute was the best anders moment for me. Until that point i more or less just viewed his activism as a hobby since he just did it in his free time, but now he put his money where his mouth is and freaking went all out. Cool character moment. And incredibly heartwrenching. He was aware of how many innocents he killed, but just didn’t see other way to get the point across.

I still don’t agree with his idea of blowing up the church tho. Maybe if he told Hawke, they could have done something to empty the church previously and further people away from it and then blow it up?

But still, blowing up religious buildings isn’t the answer. If i was the radical mage activist, i would have gone for the open assassination. Seeing it worked in WW1, i don’t see why it couldn’t start a fantasy war.

Some random things i liked:

uniportant but lovable interractions in the house: it starts innocently with gamlen’s house, to see how you’re doing, and becomes really fun during act 2 when you see your friends have been here and left you things. In act 3, however, it feels melancholic. no more family to come back to, just ghosts of friends that have visited, Bodahn and Sandal being there for you, Orana still not getting some sunlight and your dog at the fireplace. The Hawke Family Suite is playing, and you feel older than you are, lonlier than you should be. just... ouch. I hope Bodahn adopted Orana and took her out of Kirkwall :(

t i named the dog “Maker” which is very funny to me bc every time i summon the dog i just imagine Hawke yelling “Maker help us”. Carver hates the name bc he needs to chase the dog often in the streets. Mama Hawke never ever calls the dog Maker, but she never has to call the dog anything: he’s super obedient towards her.

Fighting wasn’t as hard as in origins, i like that.

The haunted house mission was so cool.

When random people greet aveline in Hightown.

And that’s i think about it. There are probably plenty more things i loved, but i think this is already enough. if somebody told me i’d be playing so much this year, i’d laugh, but I already want to play the next game ;;___;;

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited.  I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

[corpo-rat]

MARY idk if uve talked abt this before but what was violets relationship w/ julius like?? im super curious

KDSFHSDKF MICAH im so excited to talk abt this oh my god tysm….. also im so fucking sorry this took so long, i had way too much to say about it… ok so for context, violets canon playthrough order is vice kings > carnales > rollerz

…also, since its super obvious when reading this, i always wanted julius’ seemingly blatant distaste for johnny to have come into play in some form at like… any point in the series really. but since volition never went anywhere with it im taking it into my own lil gremlin hands

(background to this interpretation of julius)

in a word it was.. complicated. they were never close. when they met, julius was just looking for more recruits, the saints needed all the help they could get, but he thought he saw something in that skinny, terrified kid when him and troy saved her from being caught in the middle of a turf war. plus the kid owed him a life debt, and that aint a bad thing to have in his position. but, to violet… sure his speech about taking back the city to “save lives” was nice and all, but its not why she joined. she was homeless, starving, had nowhere to go and no options. she didnt even really have to think about the offer, becoming a saint just made sense. it was a step towards something, even if she didnt know exactly what it was, and so violet showed up in the churchyard the very next morning

from julius’ pov, violet took to fighting like a fish to water. capable, willing to do whatever it took, never talked back or questioned orders, and owed him their loyalty? to be honest she was basically the perfect little soldier. he thought this kid had a serious chance of being one of their key members… and he wasnt wrong. but in truth violet was terrified. when troy took her to buy a gun and had her kill someone for the first time with it, she managed to keep it together until she dropped him off and he was just out of sight. then she vomited all over the passengers seat of the car. the constant terror made it hard for her to sleep at night. a broken nose, bloody bandages over cuts from close calls with stray bullets, too many bruises to count and it didnt take long for her knuckles to become more scars than skin. for a while she was arguably more of a wreck than she was before she joined up

but at the same time, joining up improved things for violet. before this shed been sleeping in an alleyway, but now at night she could sleep in the church, and the other saints were friendly to her. then, when she got her first share of money? she went and bought herself a full meal and almost cried on the spot. soon, after pocketing as much cash as she could from dead rival gangsters wallets, she saved enough to get a loft right in saints row, and it was a shitty one, but she didnt fucking care. she loved that loft. from her point of view, julius was giving her the chance to save her own life. all she had to do in return was kill people for him. and she rationalized it to herself that way. if she had to kill other people to survive, then so be it

….and then violet began to realize how much of an adrenaline junkie she is, and holy fuck did she love to fight. if she had an opportunity to ditch the gun and just go in with a bat or even just her fists, she took it. the rush of risking her life became something she thought was fun. plus the respect she got as a saint? people were afraid of her, and she had anyone wearing purple on her side. the thrill, the power, the money, the loyalty… without her even really realizing it, running with gangs went from a means to an end to something that she enjoyed. but this change happens slowly, over the course of taking over stilwater. in truth, julius’ betrayal was what finally tipped her all the way

julius starts to hate her before they even finish off the vice kings. hed assigned her to helping out gat first, thinking even if dex was overseeing everything, their youngest lieutenant would need someone who could handle it if one of his crazy plans went south. but the trail of carnage and destruction violet and johnny left behind was the exact opposite of what julius wanted. he thought itd be over once the VKs were finished and he could assign violet to working with another (more stable) lieutenant, but after gat had taken that shotgun blast to the knee to help the kid escape and shed gone in alone to save him, the two were practically attached at the hip. the kid would follow gat around like a lost puppy, and the only person johnny spent more time with than violet was his girlfriend. then, once tanya was dead, he overhears a rumor that the supposedly mute kid could not only talk, but she would only speak to johnny or aisha. apparently gat had gone asking around if the kid had spoken to anyone else before him, and thats how everyone found out (gat was slightly offended when he found out violet spoke to aisha first, long before vi made that horrible hepatitis joke to him, and aisha had been keeping it a secret for her)

julius had never liked gat, he didnt care about ending the gang wars and was only there because he was bloodthirsty and lived for violence. and now he and the kid julius was becoming increasingly cautious of were feeding off of each others recklessness. not only were those two a volatile mix, but it seemed like julius was losing control of playa because of it… and that was bad news for him

johnnys sidelined, and banned from helping with any moves against the carnales and rollerz. julius told him it was because of his injury, which they both knew was a bullshit reason; hed been fucking up the vice kings just fine even with his messed up knee. gat did not take it well, and there was a shouting match that violet walked in on. vi was upset of course, her and gat were friends now and she liked running missions with him, but she wasnt going to argue. even if playa didnt understand julius’ decision, she didnt question him, but there was a lot of tension between johnny and julius after that, especially when it seemed like julius was actively trying to keep vi and johnny away from each other. anytime theyd hang out at the church, if julius saw them together you could feel the tension fill up the room, and more often than not hed just send violet out with some bullshit orders. the two quickly learned to hang out away from the church after that

by the time the carnales are history and theyre gunning for the rollerz, julius knows how badly he fucked up. thinking he could start a new gang, and control it? he was naive. theyd taken over almost all of stilwater, but at what cost? how much of the city had they destroyed along the way? and at the center of all that carnage was violet. the more of the city they take over because of her, the more disgusted she makes julius. he needed to stop the saints, stop her, but he has to do it carefully. if anyone realized it, or that he was trying to get playa killed, the gang would turn on him in an instant. the rest of the saints idolize playa, and they all know shes a big part of the reason for their success. if anything happened to julius, the gang would rally around violet, and he knows it

at first he was just sending her into risky situations because of the faith he had in her, but for a while now hed been sending her on straight up suicidal tasks on purpose, hoping someone would finally just take her out before she caused any more harm or became even more of a problem. but she just keeps coming back. doesnt matter if its just her against an entire stronghold of god knows how many seasoned gang members, shell walk out only a little worse for wear. julius starts to wonder just how terrifying this kid is, and all the while violet never even notices that julius is doing this, shes just doing what shes told. hes all praise whenever they speak, trying to keep her placated. troy notices the risks julius always seems to take with violet, but he just thinks julius is putting too much faith in the kid and driving her too hard. he starts trying to look after vi in his own ways to make up for it (thats how they become friends) but he never realizes julius’ true intentions until its far too late

vi and lin are flying solo now, with almost no help from the other lieutenants. julius makes it look like hes putting more faith in violet, no more kid gloves. of course vi and lin get in over their heads like that, and when lin gets killed and vi ends up in the hospital, julius wishes to god that she had just drowned in the river with lin

and then, soon after, its done. the vice kings, the carnales, the rollerz, theyre all a memory. the saints own the whole damn city, or whatevers left of it. and then julius gets arrested, and he finds out troy is a cop, and julius knows its all over…. but troy offers him a deal: get johnny and playa out, and he can walk. he gets the idea right there, to kill violet himself. theres no way shes going to stop, and julius knows it

violet knew driving over to the dock that she was walking into a trap, but if it was to get julius back, it didnt really matter. shed already murdered a major public figure and the chief of police trying to get him back, shooting her way out of another situation almost seemed pretty fuckin mild at that point. so it doesnt surprise her when hughes’ men surround her; no, what does surprise her is the sudden loud beeping, the confused look on hughes face, and something in her gut screaming at her to run. whether it was the wall of henchmen between her and the explosion, or the split second before the bomb went off that she used to rush forward and leap just over the railing that saved her life there, shes never sure. maybe it was both. either way, the burns scarring her back for the rest of her life show she didnt get off scot-free

five years later, and within 24 hours of waking up and breaking out of prison, shes already visited the police station and listened to the tapes. and once shes heard them, violet is seething. she did EVERYTHING for julius, became a murderer, risked her life, followed all his orders without question! and he took five years of her life away! tried to take all of it away! something in her just snaps, and she sets up the meeting with dex that same night

julius thought hed be meeting up with dex, but in truth he isnt surprised to see violet instead; hed been dreading the possibility of this day since he first learned that shed survived the explosion. but even so, even after what he did, it quickly becomes obvious that julius genuinely doesnt believe that violet will follow through with payback. and violet is livid, feels like somebody hollowed her insides out and theres nothing but anger under her skin anymore. despite everything he doesnt know her at all, still thinks shes this loyal little teenager who will do whatever shes told. a dog on a leash, because he never learned that she could be more than that, that she was more than that

and then, hearing him hold himself over her? violet knows who she is and whats she done, shes under no illusions about that. but hearing julius somehow think hes the good guy, that hes morally better than her after everything he did, everything he ordered her to do… it adds a whole new level of hatred. not to even mention how he tries to leverage saving her life over her again, after shed MORE than paid back that debt. thats the last straw, and she kills him. never regrets that choice for a single second for the rest of her life

after that, violets just… angry. shes like that for years. julius took everything good she ever had away from her, and every person she kills is another “fuck you” to his memory. gang member, cop, civilian, she doesnt care anymore. julius wanted to save the city from her? good. shell burn the whole fucking thing down just to spite him

she doesnt get over that for a long time

[irlpinkiepie]

quick review of dragon age ii, now that i’ve finished act i and have a pretty good idea of what i’ve gotten myself into

Character Reviews:

Anders - i already knew him from awakening so there’s not much surprise here, but wow is anders pretty darn great (though ‘a wizard did it’ is probably the cringiest line in the world, good job bioware) Aveline - a very good friend, i love how despite me being an openly criminal apostate mage who’s best friends with two other openly criminal apostate mages, one of whom is a blood mage, she hasn’t arrested me yet - that’s always good Bethany - there is no way i’m not playing this game as a mage; sorry bethany but i’m just never gonna meet you and that’s life Carver - he is a very good brother and i don’t know why he hated me and seeing him faded in the background every time i change my party around is gonna be emotionally tumultuous let me tell you right now Fenris - i know nothing about fenris ‘cause he’s never in my party. the lyrium thing is cool? sorry i got nothin’ really Isabela - GOSH i haven’t decided who i’m gonna romance yet but wow is isabela amazing my super suave pirate pal Merrill - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (why are there so many cute girls in this game gosh) Sebastian, Tallis - i’m poor Varric - isabela has sort of replaced varric as the rogue in my main party (which is currently aveline, isabela, and one of anders or merrill depending on how much i need two healers) but varric is still a Cool Pal

Gameplay Review:

  - i’m gonna be 100% honest when i first started playing this game i was really put off by how much it didn’t look like a dragon age game, but honestly now that i’m into it it feels very much like a refined and polished origins   - i still hate the reliance on the tab key to make side quests possible, but i’m loving the new r-button feature that automatically loots whatever’s closest to you   - companion armor is actually a really neat touch and it saves a lot of worrying about whether or not i should prioritize giving the one set of tier 7 armor to me or my companions   - also i like that the game is a lot more transparent about the numerical values behind most (looks angrily at the friendship/rivalry slider) of the gameplay features   - speaking of that slider, i honestly love the concept behind it, ‘cause it’s basically rewarding you for having a consistent personality and not penalizing you for having negative relationships with some of your companions; the way it actually plays out, though, is that you only seem to get rivalry points for deliberately going against the fundamental beliefs of your companions, and i’d prefer where rivalry was like ‘oh you have a different way of going about things i respect your style’ and being mean to your companions would decrease both friendship and rivalry and certain actions would increase the meter no matter which way it was pointing   - skill trees are excellent; not much to say there other than this is how it should have worked from the beginning   - i like that the first act wasn’t just its own compartmentalized story, and it seems like the events of the second act are gonna draw heavily upon those from the first, and with all the origins-dependent sidequests in act 1 i really am feeling this sense of a continuing epic adventure which was something i was very much looking forward to from the series and never really got from origins or awakening   - so, i know that this game was done on somewhat of a rush, and there’s a lot to be said for it being a little repetitive, and definitely i’m feeling that, but also there are some aspects where the reuse is actually neat - like, environmentally speaking, there are a bunch of buildings and caves that all look similar ‘cause they’re using the same setting, but the way certain aspects have been cut off or extended in some places makes it feel as though there’s a unified setting to this whole place, and the strategically placed doors and so on are a really neat design touch that lets them get away with a lot on a pretty short resource budget   - the combat, however, could use a lot more diversity, especially since it’s the primary mode of interaction the players have with the world; as it stands, almost every fight has sort of the same basic components: a large number of fairly weak enemies, some ranged users and one particularly strong target; the fight begins with only a few enemies visible and as the fight progresses more appear; the basic strategy revolves around drawing all of the enemies to one place, using a single aoe ability to kill off the weaker ones, kill the stronger ones, and then repeat when the next wave arrives. i miss origins combat where all of the enemies were in front of you and you could do things like force field opponents to stop them from using sustained abilities, or sneak up behind darkspawn patrols and use their ballistas against them, or open the gates to mabari kennels and flood the field with allies, to say nothing of the final battle; origins had a lot of really memorable combat beyond just the boss fights that ii just hasn’t so far   - also like? minor bugs that don’t affect gameplay at all but just break the immersion: occasionally when you go to a quest area it’ll take a few seconds and then all of the quest npcs and environment spawn in at once, or every so often an enemy will spawn in and then just wait a couple seconds before attacking - it’s very distracting   - also immersion breaking - don’t set so much of your combat in the middle of a large city in broad daylight if you aren’t going to have the average citizens react to that; seeing someone walk through a lightning storm and preaching the chant at me is not very realistic   - ok, final complaint about the lack of development time: fetch quests. why are there so many and why do they all have the same generic dialogue and why are they all as simple as ‘find this object somewhere around town and bring it to someone else in town, quest complete’ - i didn’t mind herbalist’s task ‘cause that felt like an adventure but this? not so much   - bring back arcane warriors you cowards

Story Review:

  - as i mentioned, i love the act structure, and i love the expanse of this game, and i’m really excited to see how it plays out   - it does seem a lot more linear a game than origins, at the very least because there seems to be a definite ending in sight (hence cassandra’s involvement) - which makes sense, ‘cause hawke is a much more defined character (i actually just used the default hawke in my playthrough ‘cause making my own marian hawke seemed like a betrayal of the story)   - i wish they made more of a deal about the champion of kirkwall and the warden-commander of ferelden being related; like, i’d hope you at least get something (maybe if you become king/queen? idk)   - mage rights forever, qunari rights forever   - WHY IS CULLEN IN THIS GAME. who on the story team looked at cullen and said ‘ah yes, that creepy templar who’s only role in the story in origins was to be uncomfortably romantically interested in you and to beg you to kill mages. let’s bring him back for the entire rest of the series and also make him romanceable in dai why not’ like?????   - when is my brother coming back. blease

Overall Review:

this seems to be a much longer game that origins was (i’m already at 80 hours in dragon age 2, according to my origin account) and i’m excited; hopefully that isn’t just padding - i still think origins is a better game but i’m getting to the point where i honestly prefer ii as an actual gameplay experience, even if the game itself is a little less well put together