#does does this count as blasphemy?

[vicvinegarandhughhoney]

i would go to church if jim balsillie was the religion, jack griffin was the preist and we prayed to glenn howerton

our father who art in gleaven

howerton be thy name

thy glingdom come

thy glill be done

on glearth as it is in gleaven

glive us today our daily glead

and forgive us our glespasses

as we forgive those who glespass against us

glead us not into glemptation

but gleliver us from glevil

for thine is the glingdom

the glower, and the glory

for glever and glever

glamen

[balkanradfem]

Ok I'm sorry, I'm sure nobody wants to hear about this but I can't let it go. That God x Joseph yaoi ship implicated at pride is living rent free in my mind because can you see the fanfic possibilities? Can you see the Vision?

Why is God messing around with Joseph in the first place, how did it come to be? Did god have him in mind from the start and out of jeaously he impregnated his wife (misogynistically Mary is again just a tool and an afterthought to male centered stories) so Joseph would realize he is not a part of creating his own offspring, and became insecure about it? He has nothing to do with his firstborn and his role has been taken. Maybe he asked god why is he here then, if he's not doing anything useful, and then god said 'oh there's something useful you could be doing for me rn' and so it started.

God takes on a human form in order to interact with Joseph, and they have secret meetings in the forests, at the spring, by the river; Joseph is enamored by him. So at this point of writing you have to consider whether god is a top or bottom and according to all fanfiction rules you have to make him a bottom. Making the most narcissistic misogynistic and masculine m*n is the whole point of everything. Not because there's anything wrong with being a bottom, but because we know in the minds of misgynistic narcissistic toxic males, there's something wrong with that. So making god a bottom achieves two things: it pisses god off and it eandears him to us. Because we love bottoms and the stereotypes we created around it.

So why is god so enchanted by Joseph, why did he want him? Because he too fell victim to his own creation. We already know he's incredibly needy and insecure from the 'psychoanalysis of god' lecture, so it is extremely likely that he too looked down at the earth, and started desiring.. male validation. He wanted to know he too was desired in a very ungodly, very human way. And maybe he felt ashamed of it, maybe he didn't want to look it in the eye; maybe he struggled and schemed and tried to fight it, but after looking at Joseph he couldn't suppress it anymore, and he continued on a dark path of making everyone's lives a mess so he could get what he wants.

How did god feel about breaking the sanctity of marriage, being a homewrecker after he established those rules, was he plagued by guilt and shame for breaking his own morals, his own rules for existence? Did he cry in shame every time after meeting Joseph and breaking his own system a little more?  Did he call himself a 'sl*t' into the mirror after indulging once again into something he himself claimed was forbidden? How did he deal with that? Did he try to make up for it by making good deeds, to convince himself that he still was what he once was, a good god, or did he cope by creating even worse atrocities, lashing out at anyone and everyone to block out his conscience completely. Maybe both. Complex and flawed character. Relatable.

And what when Mary finds out? Can she say anything without being deemed deeply godbleist (ableist against god)? He literally has abandonment issues and feeds bread to people so they don't leave him. How can you blame him for having sex with your husband. She's cancelled for homophobia and bigotry but still has to raise however many children god decides she should have, If this story had a feminist twist she would go on a quest to kill god and her husband, and I would support her if she does.

Joseph is getting torn by living the double life of dating god and cheating on his wife, more so because god is now throwing tantrums at him too; he is unable to face what he has became. Because how can he judge people now, when he himself is doing the very thing he's cast others to hell for? What has Joseph done to him, he would not have become this if not for Joseph; and god can't kill him like he did so many before, because he loves him too much, he can't go on without him. Joseph is too scared to break it up, torn by shame in front of his wife, getting jaded by god's constant whining and considers suicide. God realizes he's brought his lover into despair and finally acknowledges, that he failed at love. He failed at being a benevolent and kind god, that he longed for love in such a deeply flawed, jealous and human way that he can no longer call himself god. He steps down a deity and turns himself human, so he too could experience consequences like he deserves to, in a human way. And what about the humanity? There's easily a saint among humans who can take his place; it's Mary. She ascend to godness.

Years later when Joseph left him and he's just a shell of his former self rotting in a cave or something, god still sees his son kiss Judas and he's shocked at first but then he goes 'I get it' and finally he accepts that this is what all humans are; unable to be subjected to judgment for doing gay stuff.

Bam. I killed god and homophobia with fanfiction logic. This should all have been in the bible btw. Someone write this fanfic for me.

[lorablackmane]

It's time for ghosts y'all!! I wanted to make this post once I finished a chapter or 2 of my AU's fic, but I've talked about these lil fuckers so much w/ Teal in the past month I figured it might be best to make a post b4 that so ppl aren't confused in the future.

The premise of this AU is after the night after the King is defeated, everyone is celebrating! ...Until odd things start to appear in the House. A giant bloodsplatter in the Death Corridor and a trail of blood leading from it to the King's room. A shattered shelf and knocked over pot missing it's contents in the kitchen. A frozen body near the storage room.

One by one, ghosts created from the breaking points of Siffrin's wish start to appear, and they're here to stay! For better... or for worse.

Below is how each ghost was made, their wishcraft's scent (I put too much thought into this info so I'm adding it), and a bit about them!

(Cw for the ghost's stories below: death, suicide, allergy attack)

The Stoned - Created in Act 1 - Smells like Copper and Sugar

(This one will get a proper ref later bc this doesn't fully capture him)

Despite their looks, The Stoned is the calmest out of all of them, even though their death was one of the most painful. It happened so quickly and also messed up enough that the Wishcraft couldn't fix most of their body after the boulder disappears... so he can't feel pain anymore. He can't really feel much honestly there's... there isn't many nerves to feel with anymore. The additional lack of bones is a detriment to their ability to move, making them have to crawl around and continuously shift so they won't lose their balance until they get items like crutches and a wheelchair to help.

The Stoned doesn't know the horrors of the House and so are innocent in a way even Bonnie isn't. They never even it made it to the second half of the first floor! So a lot of the things the others talk about fly over their head. The others don't leave them out of talks about the House though! ...Not that the Stoned... really speaks - but it's the thought that counts!! They have their buddy to speak for them, anyway.

Just like how Loop's Wishcraft made their body unique, each ghost has their own lil quirk due to the Wishcraft that powers their bodies. The Stoned has the oddest one: due to their lack of most their bones their body is almost completely powered by Wishcraft that is activated by the air he breathes in. Because of this, he can actually almost flatten himself by releasing all the air inside themself, and will stay that way until he breathes back in. He can't move like that, but it does sometimes come in handy - by releasing some instead of all the air they can make themself slightly more compact to get into tight places!

The Silent - Created in Act 2 - Smells like Saltwater Taffy

The Silent is a fearful one, they remember the pain the House offers but cannot feel it. They only truly remember up to Bonnie accidentally pushing them, however they know so much more. Each time Siffrin touched a tear he gave them the memories of that run, but to the Silent it was less like a memory and more like watching a play. Detached from themself... yet the fear is there. They aren't like Stone who only remembers his death, they know the blessing was a curse wrapped in a pretty bow and the thought that what they see is only a fragment of the loops Siffrin went through... it makes them retreat into themself, especially bc they see their existence as unneeded bc well... Siffrin already exists. They don't need another to bother them.

It's much easier to stay put, to let them become one with the House as the tears intended. They don't need to breathe, to eat, or anything really so it's quite easy for them to do so! For them to just... exist. Hiding in plain sight, like the books hidden on shelves of the House written in their mother tongue. So this is where they stay, until one day maybe people can hear them speak once more. They do occasionally move, mostly when they hear that the Housemaiden's need the area they're in, but only when they're certain no one is looking.

When it comes to fight, flight, or freeze they choose freeze every time... which isn't helped by the quirk of their body's Wishcraft. The Silent can freeze anything up to the size of a medium bowl if they hold it for long enough. The Unseen will sometimes use this to pull pranks on people who upset them, stealing their umbrellas and placing them in The Silent's hold. They find this very petty... but they don't like moving bc a Housemaiden might see them and it is funny so they don't stop the two from doing so.

The Unseen(Left) - Created in Act 3 - Smells like Candied Pineapples

The left one is similar in personality to the Stoned as when they were created Siffrin knews that something was wrong, but still had hope that things were okay. They are an odd one: they see their accidental death as nothing in the grand scheme of things considering how many deaths already happened before them. If anything, he sees his death as a vital piece of showing their love to their family oddly enough! His memory is spotty, but the answer to Bonnie's question is forever engraved upon their skin so none of them will ever forget (even if most cannot see them anymore except outta the corner of their eye). There is a great sorrow in them though, after meeting their counterpart and discovering that there was so much pain afterwards - that like them this fact is engraved into their counterpart... but they'll stay with them, and maybe... they can bring some joy back to the right.

They help keep their counterpart's pranks in check, as unlike the right left remembers how fragile people are and doesn't see them as actors or dolls. Most of the pranks they plan are leaving lil letters with terrible puns around the House. Like you go into the bathroom, there's a letter tied to the handle of the sink. You open it and it says something like, "water you doin, handsome?" Stupid stuff like that, that makes them feel like the funnyjokespunperson they were before everything. A way to reclaim what the loops took from them both.

The Lonely - Created in Act 3 - Smells of Sugar and Moldy Cloth

This ghost is the culmination of so, so many fragments Siffrin left in between those walls. For a long time they did not remember anything besides the motions to get to the King, yet they could never defeat him. They couldn't survive his major attack, no matter what they did. It feels like at one point he could though... wasn't there a way? It isn't until the ghost event that they remember what they lost and while it felt absolute euphoria in that moment, after that the loneliness became soul crushing. The hunger for someone, anyone to be with them hurt so much! ...It made them remember why they forgot their family the first time.

The Lonely's quirk unlike most of the others isn't seared on their skin. No, the Lonely's ability is actually only really useful for dealing with The Unseen - anytime one of the others is in danger or about to do something dangerous they sense it. The Vengeful is constantly ringing this mental alarm, but it can't do anything to help due to it constantly moving so they don't even try with them. The Unseen though, it is often seen dragging them by the ears before they do something like unleash a barrel full of marbles in a hallway.

The Vengeful - Created in Act 4 - Smells of Steel, Salt, and Sugar

It is the culmination of the King's cruelty and Siffrin's agony, a beast made of anger, pain, and sorrow in equal measures. It hates the King both bc Siffrin did and bc it sees him at fault for it's creation as it doesn't know of Wishcraft as it was created right on the line between 3 and 4. That is why it tore his right hand off and stole the gauntlet upon it - a punishment for the action that created it and a trophy for it to wear as proof that, even after such a horrid deed, he didn't win. It runs away from the House and it's former family because of this memory - it cannot confront the people it feels it failed even with the knowledge they survived, that it's sin wasn't permanent. In it's eyes it will always exist. It's eye will sometimes gleam with the same shade as the one that appeared when the world was breaking!

The Vengeful is the only ghost no one is completely sure the location of due to it throwing itself out of the first available window after completing it's mission. It mostly stays in forests or caverns where it can easily hide, only going near towns if someone reminds it of the King. Once it has dealt with said person however it views it needs to, mostly by scaring them, it returns to it's current hiding spot. The Vengeful is a lonely one, but it's not ready to be near people for long periods of time. It's afraid that due to how it was created it'll bring bad luck to those it spends too much time with - how couldn't it? It was created from a person trapped in the middle of an hourglass until they drowned in the golden sands and by a man who saw his will as absolute, who caused so much agony. One day, though, it'll realize that isn't true... but it'll be quite a while.

The Unseen(Right) - Created in Act 4 - Smells like Steel and Sugar

This one is the closest in personality to Loop. It mocks even though it has no voice, they play with the people around it to remind themself they're real. Without the left the right Unseen would be much more dangerous as it is so desensitized to death they have forgotten what is actually dangerous and so some of their mischief has to be tempered by the left one to avoid killing those around them. For a very long time they view others, besides left, as merely actors in a similar vein as Loop, only referring to others via titles if it needs to interact with anyone and left doesn't control the writing pen. As time passes this trait slowly disappears, as the days show more changes like rain upon the rooftops or snow in the gardens, things it long forgot.

Together with their counterpart The Unseen are the ones who were left behind through actions seen as small, but were greater than thought. The ones who cannot be seen without drastically changing the views of ones most loved by the person they once were. And so they stay hidden from sight by their own Wishcraft... but that is a lonely way to live they discovered. The two of them alone cannot satiate their need 4 company. And so they do little things that are easily noticed so they can be seen without breaking their rule: walking around with open, stolen umbrellas or pulling little pranks.

Most Housemaiden's don't talk to them, because they never get an answer they assume they don't like talking. This isn't the case though they cannot tell them that... neither can speak. The left's throat is closed up and the right's is... well u can probably guess why theirs wouldn't work even if they had a mouth to speak with. The Lonely though does speak to them often - it has a chalkboard in the room it lives in inside the House for them to write lil questions or answers on.

[s-h-a-s-e]

>:)

[3imaginarycrows]

Weird dog

[persephonesfill]

deuteronomy 5:21

anyway here's more blasphemy of steve wrecking tony and pepper's marriage 💖

act of contrition

Steve is going to Hell. Not that he cares anymore. Things like Heaven and salvation stopped mattering to him when they pulled him out of the ice. It's not that he doesn't believe anymore. There is a heaven of sorts, located in between Tony Stark's legs and inside of his mouth.

He swears Tony's lips taste sweeter with Pepper's lipstick staining them. Like he said, he's going to Hell.

"Thou shall not covet another man's wife," comes to him deliriously, with Tony's heels digging into the small of his back.

Maybe, it doesn't count. It's not Pepper he wants. It's not Pepper he's fucking on the living room floor.

It was supposed to be a standard visit, an apology, really, for...what he had done at their wedding. Steve had spent the past two weeks calling and texting Tony while he was on his honeymoon, only to be sent to voicemail or straight up ignored every time.

So, he had turned up to their home, a sweet fairy tale cabin right beside a lake. Tony had been sitting out on the porch like the old man he was, with a sweating iced tea and StarkPad balanced on his lap. The gold band that had taunted Steve for weeks on end had shone brightly in the June sun and that had been that.

They had barely said two words to each other before Steve was shoving Tony into the house, uncaring of who or what might be watching.

"Let them look," he thinks. "God, Satan, whoever. Fuck 'em all."

"Pepper," Tony says in between thrusts, but he's not thinking about her, Steve knows he isn't.

"Pepper wants a baby," Tony finally manages and it shouldn't shock Steve as he grinds to a halt, still buried within Tony.

It makes sense. It's what a man and woman do after getting married. In theory, at least.

But all it does is remind him that Tony doesn't belong to him.

But if he did...

The thought comes to him unbidden, strange and impossible and so fucking alluring. Arousal burns through him hot and sharp like a knife to his gut at the thought of Tony with a platinum band instead of gold, like they had discussed years ago and Steve's bastard in his belly.

"So what?" Steve snarls like a goddamn animal and Tony cries out when Steve splits him open, like he's trying to make them one. "I could give you as many as you fucking want."

Tony moans, his legs a vice around Steve's waist and Steve knows he wants it, wants it as much as Steve does.

[moominmanoneandonly]

Just spend 9 hours helping with a movie and damn I'm so happy I changed my mind on getting a directing degree. It was still a fun experiece tho.

[tinybitofhope]

spent a stupid amount of minutes tryna make my blog header look nice dammit yall better get down on your knees and praise me im tired as fuck

[funkylilomen]

thats a good question

screw it everyone's jesus now i said so

[monogramsalarm]

just saw a billboard that said “shackled by lust? jesus sets you free” like is he gonna fuck me?

[ghostly-knight]

I know i said i don't have twitter (hence why this is my personal diary) but i lied. I just only use it to look at pictures and videos of waterparks. i don't tweet i don't retweet stuff (unless it's a parx post probably) but i will be liking everything i see so i can go back and look at it later. twitter is where i can be mentally unwell about my funny little band

[invisiblespectre]

What if the devil's greatest trick isn't making us not believe in him? Maybe it's making some of us believe in a god who can protect us from him.

[garbomode]

in omegaverse jesus' "i am the alpha and omega" thing would be so much more powerful.....

[chohkolatefreakshake]

[houndstongue]

i think seeing cool jesus fanart has done more for my religious life than fifteen years of catholic school

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

had a thought. penne but with the ridges rotated 90 degrees so they are perpendicular to the pastas