#does anyone remember when winters had regular deep snow also?

[austrian-government]

Does anyone remember when "autumn" was a distinct season with mild weather and we didn't just go from 35°C to 7°C in the span of a literal week?

[kyofsonder]

Find the Word

I was tagged by @on-noon to find a specific set of words in my WIPs, and tag others to keep the game going. Thank you for the tag, the more times I play this game the more fun I have and the more I enjoy the perspective it gives me on my own writing.

My Words: grow, worse, wind, snow, and wake.

I’ll tag @aohendo, @junypr-camus, @starlightscribe, @did-i-do-this-write, and @marinesocks this time. It's also an open tag for anyone else who wants to join, as always!

Your Words: voice, equal, second, purpose, and greed.

I found grow(s) in an original short story WIP, titled “Kiyo”:

Kiyo herself is pretty small, also like me, but her leaves are strong. They're bright red and her vines are a soft orange, so it's less that she grows like a regular plant and more that she spreads like a flame. She's a little wizened, with some crunchy edges of brown on some of her older leaves and a lot of black in her veins, but her roots keep pushing their way down through the soil. Reaching for water or more soil or whatever it is they find for her. The guy selling all those half-neglected plants hadn't acted like there was anything special about this one in particular, but I haven't heard of plants that look like Kiyo... pretty much anywhere.

I found worse in my novel WIP “To Be Honest”, although it does show up in a scene where there’s (magic-related) self-injury and mentions of blood:

The feeling from earlier is practically screaming at him now, rattling his bones until he thinks the vibration might knock him out. The way David had greeted him. The way his voice has been changing. The fact that Micah hasn't been able to see his face this whole time. The repeated circles when he'd tried to walk. Something is wrong. Micah can feel the magic in his own blood, warning him that if he takes too long to figure this out he'll end up trapped here. Not just here in the woods, but somewhere much worse. He can't control his breathing anymore and every spell he knows is gone from his mind. Alright. Fine. Screw patience, then. The witch takes as deep and steady of a breath as he can manage, wincing each time it catches on the way down to his lungs. Without sparing a second more to think, he brings the knife down on his arm at whatever angle fate decides. If he's lucky, it won't catch any major arteries and he'll be able to bandage himself up later.

I found wind in a draft of a Given oneshot fic “Present Tense”:

He steps toward the water, bracing himself against the wind. It isn't cold, somehow, but he still feels like he should be wearing a jacket of some kind. The sound of the ocean makes it feel like Winter, steady and calm. Rolling like the sand, only stronger. Moving steadily. Making itself known. White noise, washing away the feelings of early afternoon sunlight that had been so vivid just a few moments ago. He finds himself sinking into a crouch, closing his eyes again and holding his knees close to himself. He buries his face into his arms. Ah. He wants to sink into this sound. Let it wash him away, too. Out toward the sunset. The gradually darkening blue and fading light pink of nightfall. The warped yellow and orange of a sun saying its goodbyes for the night. He wants to fall into these soft colors like a fluffy bed and rest.

I found snow in a Sk8 the Infinity fic “True or False”, although it shows up in a scene where Langa is experiencing a type of unreality that might affect some readers:

It's quiet for a while, then Langa adjusts himself so he can speak -- still holding as tight as possible, "Sometimes... I have dreams. They aren't like normal dreams. When I wake up, I can't tell if they were real or not. If I was remembering things that really happened, or dreaming things that never did. It feels like I'm awake and just thinking about real memories, but it also feels like I'm asleep and dreaming. That doesn't make sense, but... the dreams don't make sense. They get... it happened for the first time after I got lost on a mountain as a kid. I was out in the snow all night. I kept thinking that I remembered the way back -- then I'd realize that it was the wrong way. The path I remembered was from a dream. No matter where I walked, it didn't get me home. It got... really confusing. Ever since then, I'll get that way again sometimes. Confused from dreams like that, I mean."

I found wake in my novel WIP “Apricots” when the main character is talking about how long it’s been since his girlfriend died:

Noah doesn't let him get away that easily, "The beginning is the day Jess died, whatever day or month or year it was when that happened. I think you know that much."

"Kade's lost track of time since then, too. More than usual. It feels like he started talking to her ghost months before she died, every time he was at her bedside, like he'd already known it was coming. I guess... when her condition... that's probably why you got mad at me. You knew she would die so much earlier than I did. I still don't think you should have blamed me for not knowing. I did the best I could to take care of her. It's been two months and I still wake up thinking I'll take the bus to her place to... I think I'm still not convinced that she's even gone at all."

Thank you again for the tag – there was a little more original content mixed in with the fanfiction this time! I'm learning to balance how much I write between original and fandom projects, which is encouraging to see when I play this game.

[rachetmath]

JRY vs Ace-ops

Warning: Long read. This is theory on who would survive a fight. A analyses. In my opinion. So with clear, if you agree, then like or comment. Disagree, fine, go wild.  

Hello, so you must have read the title. Okay you might be thinking, "Ratchetmath, bro, you can't be serious. There is no way Jaune and Ren can ever defeat the Ace-ops. Only Yang, considering her and her teammates did in volume 7." Which I would completely side with you on. However, I've come to realize that the Hound was never a threat, and more importantly the boys could've done more if the Worf effect wasn't in place. So, let's give these guys a fighting chance and see what they along with Yang, could've done if they had to fight Winter and Ace-ops.

First, let's discuss the Hound and why the Worf effect failed. For those of you who don't know what the Worf effect is, it is when a new character is placed in the story and to prove their strength: you make them fight already deemed strong characters and let them win or stand a chance of winning the fight. The reason the Worf effect failed for the Hound is because Oscar is not a very strong character. Oscar skill level as the show presents is random at best. The Hound should have aimed for Jaune. Jaune as the show and writers made clear, has an incredible amount of aura. Seeing the Hound break his aura completely without even trying would've been more terrifying and makes sense. Or Yang, showing that it could fight.

But why? Why the Hound taking Jaune or Yang down first makes sense? Yeah, Yang is fine but Jaune is not strong or a capable fighter. Maybe not much of a fighter, but he is strong. In fact, he holds back grimm twice his size on a regular basis like an Urosa and Nuckelavee. Even Yang and the other characters, well except Elm because of her physical appearance, are guilty of this. The Hound is no different, it's basically a harder version of the Beowulf. Let's face it, Jaune couldn't do anything because the show must go as planned. Jaune could've save Oscar by getting close and blowing it away with his gravity dusted shield. The hound attacking Jaune first would prove it was watching them carefully, seeing their weapons and abilities to find who could be a threat to its mission. Proving its power and intelligence.

Now, the main event, team JRY versus The Ace-ops. The fight starts when the Ace-ops arrive after Jaune told them about the grimm river. Sadly, when they arrive, things were not so good. The Ace-Ops were more focused on finding Penny instead of the river. Now the grimm river destroyed the Atlas barrier and Atlas was under attack. However, the Ace-ops still want to arrest the group. Instead of going down peacefully, Jaune, Yang and Ren won't go down without a fight. Can they win?

Now, let's scan the environment. They were in an open plain field full of snow. There is nowhere to hide and almost no way to escape for team JRY. The motorcycle is not fast enough to outrun Harriet or a plane. But more importantly there was a crater beside them where the grimm river used to be. Now there are two ways this can go down, but I'll explain later. Let’s focus on the characters.

Let’s talk about the Ace-ops. They are elite hunters in Atlas. And from what we got from volume 8, Harriet told us that Marrow and Winter are replacements for their fallen comrades. Meaning Vine, Elm and Harriet herself are the remaining, long term members of the Ace-ops. So, they work very well together unlike with Marrow and Winter. That could give team JRY an advantage, but not much. Do to the fact that it's five against three and with only one of them being the strongest fighter, they need a plan to set the odds to their favor.

Now for team JRY. Beacon students turned hunters thanks to James. Now they’re with adults. However, there are a few problems with this team. There are three people in the team and two of them, barely fight or have barely won a fight at all. Jaune is more on the defensive while Ren... well, he spams his attacks, and relies heavily on long range. Sadly, the Ace-ops over power them with combative semblances and fire power. Their best shot would be to run. However, there still a way to win. This is a fight or flight situation, so what would happen if team JRY choose either option?

For flight, the reason being because they're not capable, it's a waste time and more importantly lives are in danger. First, remember they were on a field of snow. What does Jaune have? A shield that shoots gravity waves on contact weather it's from enemies or to the ground. Jaune was already in front of the bike and with good timing, he could activate and slam his shield to ground, sending snow flying, causing a smoke screen. Giving them little but plenty of time to hop on the one motorcycle and ride, while making sure Winter or Marrow have no time to stop them with either of their semblances. The crater also plays a key role for their escape. They can ride in it, but Harriet, due to her semblance granting her speed, will be on their tail. However, if orderly seated, Jaune can stop Harriet from getting too close. But what about the other members? Well, they'll be back on the ship, but they can't do anything. If they fire missiles, they'll get in Harriet's way and more importantly hurt her in the process. Jaune could also block her path himself with shield bomb.  

Now, for fight. Reason being is Oscar is in danger and needs saving. More importantly the plane is better for traveling around Mantle and saving people than a motorcycle. This will be a difficult battle but not one sided. This is going to involve the team trusting each other. And putting their skills to the test.

First off, they would need to get rid of Marrow. Marrow may be the rookie of the Ace-ops, but he is the most powerful. His semblance can stop time just by looking at his opponent or pointing at them, commanding them to "Stay" in place.

To take out Marrow, they need to knock him out before he uses his semblance. So, before the fight truly starts, Yang should be close to Jaune, grabbing his clothes and amplifying her aura. When she has enough, Jaune, since team JRY will get a plane, launches the bike and Ren shoots the gas tank. The explosion should cause a temporary smoke screen. Yang should immediately get on Jaune shield for him to launch her towards the Ace-ops and activate her semblance to knock Marrow out. Wait a minute, but Yang's semblance doesn't work like that, she needs to take damage to even use it. However though, Blake revealed that Yang and Adam's semblances are one of the same. Meaning, both can activate their semblances any time without the need to be attacked. Yang has done this once back at Beacon and in Atlas considering Elm couldn't even touch her. But this would wear her out. Too bad she was amplified by Jaune, so she may not experience the same negative draw backs when using her semblance recklessly before.

Wait, but what about Aura? Can't aura protect Marrow from harm? Well, sadly no. Aura, as the show so far made clear, is limited to what it could do for its users. If you have a broken arm, get poisoned and/or critically wounded, your aura my not save you. So, a heavy blow to the head is something your aura is useless in healing, especially when you need to be conscious.  

Now, it's four against three. So, what should happen next? Jaune pushes Harriet into the crater, allowing Ren to fight her. Harriet may be fast but with the crater being narrow and deep she'll have a hard time moving around and probably climbing out. This will allow Ren to adapt to her movements and fight in her in hand-to-hand combat. Hopefully, he's still good at that and not relying on his upgrade.

Jaune may have to take on two opponents. They are being Vine and Elm. Don't get me wrong, it took Blake and Yang to beat them, but Vine and Elm aren't really that good. In fact, they are just stronger versions of Ren and Nora, except Vine's semblance is better suited for combat. But let’s be clear, Jaune survived a journey of pain without his aura being broken but a few times. Never mind, only once, do to being tired after fighting a giant mech.

Now, hear me out. Elm is strong, and her weapon is an RPG. But her semblance is useless if the ground is cracked, which Jaune can do without wasting aura, or entering a burst mode. Elm also has not demonstrated any hand-to-hand combat skills. Even if she was willing to still use her weapon without her semblance, it only further proves she will suffer from the recoil from her weapon once fired. Plus, Jaune can block or deflect the missiles back at her using the gravity waves from his shield. Also, though Elm is stronger than Jaune, he's faster, has more movability and a sword. So as the saying goes, "Bigger doesn't always mean better."  

But hey, what about Vine? He beat Jaune before. But who can't beat Jaune? More importantly, didn't Vine need the high ground to fight anyone. In the snow plain field, Vine has no high ground but the ship, Jaune already fought him once so he might know how far his arms can stretch, and more importantly, Jaune is physically stronger than Vine. He might use his weapon but again, the shield can deflect it. And if Jaune grabs his stretchable arm, he basically can throw Vine around.

I will make this quick for Yang. Yang will take on Winter. She would be able to reason with her considering she's friends with her sister. But Yang might have some ways to fight Winter considering she should knows how Weiss fights and been working with Weiss for a while. However, we still must consider that Winter can make an army of grimm, but she has not used any other tactics.

But these are still highly trained hunters. They aren't so easily to be defeated especially against Jaune and Ren. Well, Jaune can assist Ren by knocking out Harriet. How? Ren could use his grappling gun to capture and slow down Harriet. Ren gives Jaune a signal, Jaune goes to him, Ren releases Harriet who was running too fast for her own good with no time to react. Finally, Jaune use his shield to knock her out. They climb out and both can fight Vine and Elm. Same for Ren if to assist Jaune first. Harriet may be fast but won't be able to climb out the crater. Once all four members are down Winter would be the only one left. And sadly, the Schnees despite their abilities, still manage to lose battles.

Well, that’s all folks. Remember this is in my opinion. If there are ways for team JRY to win or if there are flaws to my plan, then please leave a comment. However, despite what I said, team JRY would still lose. Mostly due to what I said about the Worf effect not being used properly. And the villains have way more plot armor then the heroes.

[atla-hcs-and-bakoda]

Bato’s Backstory

ok so this is gonna be long, buckle up. This is my personal interpretation of bato’s backstory, it likely makes no canonical or reasonable sense, but canon does not exist and i make the rules. this is purely self-indulgent crack-treated-seriously. This is what all the other hcs, unless stated otherwise, will be set in.

Note about Bato: in my interpretation of him, he has teal/cyan eyes and darker brown hair than in the show, his skin tone has not changed.

(unfortunately this is not a zukka au, just a bakoda one. bato’s backstory is kind of an au in my mind, so when i do ship zukka, its not in this au)

(the bold letters at the beginning of the paragraphs are for accessibility)

‘Present’ (only a few months after zuko’s coronation) ages: Hakoda & Bato - 41 Kya - 42 Iroh - 65 Ozai - 47

under the cut because oh boy this is long, sorry asdfghfd

So, our story begins in the fire nation, about 59 AG, Iroh is the 25 year old crown prince, and recently had a child with his wife, Minami, on the coldest day of winter. They named him Shui, and they, quite frankly, spoilt him with their love. Minami stayed in the castle while Iroh was at war, and always sang to Shui while putting his hair up or putting him to bed.

One day, when Shui was 9, Azulon decided to take his family to Ember Islands on vacation, like the royal family has been doing for generations. However, there was a bad storm, and the ship got thrown near the south. Little Shui followed Iroh onto the deck, and fell overboard when a big wave hit the other side of the boat, rocking it and making him fall.

The royal family and crew tried to save him, but the waves dragged him under, and once the storm cleared, he was presumed dead. Iroh and Minami mourned the loss of their first son, who died so young that he hardly got to live life at all. Ozai mourned to a minor extent, as he was 15 at the time and wasn’t as bad as he is in the present, but not for as long as Shui’s parents, or grandfather, did.

Meanwhile, in the southern water tribe, little 9 year old Hakoda was wandering down at the seaside with his father when he came across a young boy unconscious in the snow, the cold water nearly freezing him to death. His father hurried him back to the tribe with the young boy’s body. For days, Hakoda sat beside the bed, rarely moving from the spot, keeping watch on the mystery boy. And eventually, he woke up.

Hakoda introduced himself once the boy was fully awake, but when asked his name, the boy said “i...i don’t remember...” So, instead, Hakoda decided to pick a name for him; Bato. The boy agreed to the name, and after a week, got adopted by one of the tribesmen, a close friend of Hakoda’s father. After that, the two children were an unstoppable duo, they did many successful pranks on everyone, including Hakoda’s mother, Kanna.

However, every once in a while, Bato would blurt out something without thinking, and when questioned, wouldn’t be able to remember it at all. For instance, Bato and Hakoda were once watching the stars late at night, when Bato pointed at a constellation and called it Druk. Hakoda laughed, but Bato insisted that was its name. Hakoda asked where Bato learned that, since thats not what their tribe calls it, and Bato had no recollection of learning it.

(This continued well into teenagehood, when Bato realised at the ripe old age of 14 that he was, in fact, in love with his best friend. He didn’t come out for a long time, in fear of his tribe’s reaction. Deep down he knew they’d accept him with open arms, but his anxiety said otherwise.)

At 12, there was a fire nation raid while Bato was at the seaside, and he recognised both the ship and flag instantly despite not being told prior about the Southern Raiders. He ran to tell the chief, and thanks to his quick reaction, saved the tribe to a degree. Many waterbenders still died, however.

At 15, Bato and Hakoda went ice-dodging with their respective fathers- and eachother. Hakoda recieved the mark of the wise, and Bato recieved the mark of the brave.

One night at 15, they were cuddling in Hakoda’s bed (because thats what best friends do, of course. its cold, no other reason, totally not) when Hakoda noticed Bato’s eye color; Teal. not the regular water tribe blue, not a dark blue, or even a light blue, but pure Teal. Although hakoda would still argue to this day that bato’s eyes are cyan. When questioned about his eye color, Bato shrugged and brushed it off as an uncommon trait. But Hakoda realised nobody else in the tribe had cyan eyes, just blue.

Then, at 16, the boys got into a bad avalanche that resulted in Hakoda getting knocked out. Bato woke up hours later, and pulled his best friend out of the snow. He realised Hakoda wasnt breathing, and started to cry, taking his gloves off to cling to Hakoda and try feel the warmth of his pulse, to no avail. He closed his eyes and cried, when his hands lit on fire. When he realised what he just did, he put the flame out and made a plan, carrying Hakoda to the dog sled quite a bit from the avalanche, and set them on course for the tribe while he carefully lit his hands back on fire after a few attempts, and kept Hakoda warm. 

Just before they got to the tribe, Hakoda started breathing again, shallowly, and his father quickly took both of them to the healer when they arrived back. This time, it was Bato who sat beside the bed and waited for Hakoda to wake up, refusing to eat much until his friend woke up.

He never told anyone about his bending.

A few months later, Hakoda met and started dating Kya, and Bato’s heart broke. he was happy for hakoda, he really was, but deep down it still hurt him to see him with someone else.

At 20, Hakoda’s father went off to war.  At 22, Hakoda became Chief, and Bato became the second-in-command.

At 23, Hakoda proposed to Kya after like 20 failed attempts at carving a betrothal necklace. Bato’s heart broke a tiny bit more, but he ignored it to be happy for his friend. Bato had to sleep alone for the first time since he joined the southern water tribe, he didn’t sleep much when alone.

2 years later, at 25, Sokka was born, and Bato babysat him a lot when Hakoda and Kya were busy. Bato admittedly vented to baby sokka quite a bit, and showed him very minor firebending tricks he practiced during sleepless nights, which was most nights.

At 26, Katara was born, and Bato now babysat two little children, both of which he adored with all his heart. He himself is infertile, so Katara and Sokka were the closest thing he had to his own children.

Things went mostly peacefully for years, until 34, when Kya got killed. After the raid, Hakoda wouldnt eat for days at a time, completely depressed and exhausted. Bato would offer him small plates of food and sit with him, letting him vent or cry or whatever Hakoda needed to do to get the stress and pain out. He also looked after Sokka and Katara while Hakoda couldn’t, and usually slept next to Hakoda’s bed, watching over the chief, along with his kids, as both children were terrified to sleep by themselves, Hakoda was scared of losing them, and Bato couldn’t bare the thought of not keeping them safe.

After years of recovering, Hakoda eventually had to head out to war with the men of the tribe, Bato included. Bato’s heart broke watching Sokka beg to come with them, but he knew it was for the best.

3 months after leaving, Bato came out to Hakoda in the Chieftan’s private room in the boat, and Hakoda accepted him with open arms, and promised to not tell anyone until Bato was ready. Bato fell a lot more in love.

At 5 months, he started very carefully dropping hints to Hakoda that he likes him, slightly-too-friendly-to-be-platonic compliments, cuddling him in hakoda’s room “because its cold” (they were nowhere near cold climates), and other vaugely homoerotic stuff like that. All of it went over Hakoda’s head.

(At 6 months he straight up told Hakoda at night on the deck “Your my stars, Hakoda. Whenever i’m lost, you always bring me home.”, and Hakoda responded “Thanks Bato, I’m happy your my friend too.”, Bato stayed awake all night in utter disbelief. He still teases Hakoda about it.)

1 year after leaving, Bato realised he might not be as much of a guy as he thought he was. He silently decided to put that train of thoughts on hold until the war was over. (In his heart he knew the war would never be over until the fire nation won. especially with sozin’s comet only a year away and- he doesnt remember what sozin’s comet is.)

When his arm got burned, he burned the soldier right back with his good arm out of sight of everyone else, and managed to shove them overboard before the pain hit him. He’s always had a high pain tolerance.  After the fight ended, Hakoda carried Bato to the abbey, and they had a tearful goodbye, where Bato quietly confessed his love as Hakoda walked out the room. Hakoda thought about it until he saw Bato again.

When they reunited, Hakoda confessed his love back to Bato, and they kissed right in the open, it took a lot of self control for the other tribesmen to not cheer, they had known for literally forever, the only person in the tribe who didnt know bato was in love with hakoda was hakoda.

Somehow, it took until the war was over for Sokka and Katara to find out they had a step-dad. They already considered Bato to be their second dad, so not much exactly changed.

The day of Zuko’s coronation, Bato got talking with Iroh, and when the topic came to children, Iroh explained how both his sons were dead, one dying at 9 from a storm, and the other dying at 20 from war. When Iroh says his youngest (eldest?) son’s name, Shui, Bato remembers the storm, and Iroh notices Bato’s rare cyan eyes.

They have a nice reunion, although Bato has to sit down for a while to process all this and figure out his family tree. He decides not to tell Hakoda yet, but he does spend a while walking through the palace with Iroh and remembering parts of his early childhood. He cant bring himself to go into the room of firelord portraits.

A month after zuko’s coronation, he sits Hakoda down and explains that he’s a bender, and he’s apparently fire nation royalty. Hakoda gets temporarily mad, but eventually calms down and hugs Bato when his friend told him that his firebending saved both himself and hakoda, and that he would never be like his forefathers or uncle. Hakoda takes a while to fully accept it, but eventually warms up (heh) to the concept, and continues to use Bato as a personal space heater.

Two months after zuko’s coronation, he finally decides to tackle the “i’m not as much as a guy as i thought” issue, and he decides to go to Iroh and Toph for advice over tea, where Iroh suggests some wise stuff, but Toph simply explains what non-binary is, and suggests Bato may be Demiboy. (Although Bato prefers to call himself Demiguy, he doesnt like being called a boy) The Gender Crisis continues for about another week, and takes another half a month for him to come out to Hakoda. Bato was somewhat internally afraid he wouldnt be counted as one of the men, but Hakoda was overwhelmingly supportive, and admitted that he knew Bato wasn’t exactly cis, he just never knew the words to use.

Bato spends a while at the palace after the coronation to get his bearings on being half fire nation and a prince, he learns purple is a very good color on him.(Hakoda later jokes that it was foreshadowing for Bato realising he was enby, as he wasnt blue or red)

He bonds quite a bit with Zuko, Iroh, and Toph during his stay, but eventually goes back to the southern water tribe, the place he truly considers home. Although, he does go and visit the fire nation every once in a while. He even goes to Ember Islands and has a vacation day with both of his families.

After about two years, He finally makes a betrothal necklace for Hakoda, with the symbol of the water tribe on it and flames coming up from the waves, both of them totally cry happy tears when he proposes privately under the light of the aurora.

[altherei]

Interview with the Director

((Did this before, but nothing wrong with an update!))

Name ➔ “Altherei Darkwind.”

Are you single?➔ Her cheeks flush lightly, and slowly a smile creeps onto her face. “.. I’m not actually, no.”

Are you angry?➔ “No- at least, not actively. I remain upset at the state of the world, and the constant battling of the factions, but that’s as close as I come.”

Are your parents still married?➔ “Were my mother still alive, I’m sure they would be.”

NINE FACTS

Birth Place ➔ “Silvermoon City.”

Hair Color ➔ “Dark brown- I’ve heard it called ‘earthy’ usually.”

Eye color ➔ “Teal-green.”

Birthday ➔ “December 28th, many years ago.” She grins, “It’s not proper to ask a lady her age, so that’s the closest you’ll get.”

Mood ➔ “Right now? .. I’m happy. And a little bit stressed, and a little bit worried. But the balance favors happiness, at the moment.”

Gender ➔ “Female.”

Summer or Winter ➔ “I’ve always loved the winter more- the cold makes for a good excuse to stay inside with a thick blanket or sweater and a mug of tea. But I also just enjoy watching the snow fall, and the nights during winter seem a little bit clearer than any other time.”

Morning or Afternoon ➔ “Between those two- morning. I’m an early riser. I always find working easier in the morning when it’s quiet, and then the afternoons and evenings are free for whatever else needs doing.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

Are you in love? ➔ “It’s far too soon to call it love, so no.” She clicked her tongue once, “But as it always does, time will tell. Love is something that needs to grow- it doesn’t simply just spring into being.”

Do you believe in love at first sight? ➔ “No- infatuation, certainly. But love is a commitment and a choice as much as it is a feeling- like I said.. it needs to grow.”

Who ended your last relationship? ➔ “The last true relationship I had? I did. But what really has come between all of them has been .. a complete lack of proper communication, and being- ah, what’s the phrase- ‘ghosted’ on.”

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? ➔ “Yes, and my own as well.”

Are you afraid of commitments? ➔ “Hardly- I crave commitment. To have something deep and meaningful and profound, yet reliable and stable. For myself, I’d consider it..  maybe my greatest wish.”

Have you hugged someone within the past week? ➔ “I have, yes.”

Have you ever had a secret admirer? ➔  “If I have, they certainly kept up the ‘secret’ part quite well.”

Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Ah- I answered this earlier, but yes. Oftentimes I think I am far crueler to my own heart than I’ve ever been with anyone else’s. In and outside of relationships, dating, courtships- whatever you want to call them- I am often my own worst critic, and my own harshest judge.”

SIX CHOICES

Love or Lust ➔ “Love, by a mile.”

Lemonade or iced tea  ➔ “I’d prefer hot tea to either of these, I think. But as I’m not overly-fond of tart or sour things, iced tea I suppose.”

Cats or Dogs? ➔ “I don’t really have a preference between the two- pets aren’t something I really have time for.”

A few best friends or many regular friends? ➔ “I’d prefer the counsel and company of a few best friends, certainly.”

Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “I think it would largely depend on what ‘wild’ is entailing- but as I have my suspicions, I’ll say ‘night in’. As long as I’m spending quality time with the person I care about, where we are is of little consequence to me.”

Day or Night ➔ “As I’m an astronomer, I’ll give you one guess...” She winks, grinning cheekily.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

Been caught sneaking out  ➔  “No, but as a child my father got caught sneaking me out to peek through his telescope, so I suppose that can count.”

Fallen down/upstairs ➔ “I’ve tripped down the stairs, but I’ve never tumbled. Thankfully.”

Wanting something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “.. Yes, actually.”

Wanted to disappear  ➔ “On occasion.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

Smile or eyes ➔ “Both, I think.”

Shorter or taller ➔ “Taller.”

Intelligence or attraction ➔ “Intelligence is far more important to me- as is someone’s general personality. Having the face of a model won’t cover up a poor attitude and rude habits. That being said, I also value attraction- it’s an important part of a relationship, but between the two, intelligence is more important.”

Hook-up or relationship ➔ “Relationship. I have not, nor will ever be, the type of woman interested in a hook-up or one-night stand. Like I said, I crave commitment.”

Do you and your family get along? ➔ “It’s been a little strained lately, mostly as the family I have left is.. quite worried for all my work with the Outreach- worried about what might happen to me if the wrong people were to get it in their heads to ‘do something’ about it. But that aside, yes. We do get along, and quite well.”

FAMILY

Do you consider all of your friends good friends? ➔ “Not all of them, but only because I do not know them all as well as I would like. The more time we spend together and get to know each other, the more likely I would be to call them a ‘good’ friend.”

Would you say you have a “messed up life”? ➔ “Not by a wide margin. I’ve seen my fair share of tragedy, but I always try to remind myself that things could be so much worse.”

Who is your best friend? ➔ “Of the women I know, I would call Murigen my best friend. But there is also Kalomar, who.. while he is my partner, yes, before that he was- and still is- quite easily my closest friend.”

Who knows everything about you ➔ “I don’t think there’s yet one person who knows everything about me. There are some parts of my life that I keep tucked away, not just because they’re.. not terribly relevant to most conversations, but because they are not things I would share with someone unless I held a great deal of trust in them. I would say the people closest to knowing everything about me are my brothers.”

Tagged by: @allseeker-wra (Sorry this took so long!)

Tagging: @murigxn, @seilune, @selowyn, @crusaderenrik, @k-sunrael (for whichever character you like!), @amorthonblackwood, and anyone else who would like to do this! Y’all know I’m bad at remembering handles of folks so if you would like to, consider yourself tagged!

[uuliinoted]

Getting to Know: Uulii Qalli

♔ Name ➻ “My full name is Uuliinyagaantsetseg Qalli, though as you can most likely imagine, that name is. . . unpleasant to say regularly. Because of that, I tell strangers, and most of my friends for that matter, to simply call me Uulii. It makes things a lot easier, even though it is a lot of fun watching people try to attempt saying the entire name.”

♕ Are you single ➻ “At the moment, but I have my hopes that I'll manage to change that soon enough. There is somebody that has managed to captivate me, and I'm working up the courage to bring it up with them. If they so no, however, I suppose I will be single for the foreseeable future. Not that that's a bad thing.”

♗ Are you happy ➻ “Honestly, I do feel that I am quite happy at the moment. I'm making plenty of new friends, who's company I enjoy, I've picked up an instrument again, and I'm making good progress on the book I'm writing! Though, I also wouldn't say I'm near one-hundred percent yet. I still can't bring myself to sing again, and thinking back on events of my past still wounds me far too much to bear. I'm trying to be positive, though, so overall... Yes.”

♘ Are you angry? ➻ “There are things that I still feel angry about, but they are far away and in my past, so I'm trying not to let them affect my daily life. Generally, I'd say that I'm not an angry person, but I am capable of getting angry if somebody or something manages to poke and prod the wrong places.”

♙ Are your parents still married ➻ “Though I cannot see them anymore, I don't think even the darkest tragedy could tear those two apart.”

NINE FACTS

♚ Birth Place ➻ “I can't quite tell you the exact place I was born, nor do I think my parents even could, but it was somewhere on the steppe.”

♛ Hair Color ➻   “Naturally, it toes the border between black and blue, though at the moment I've dyed it an adorable light pink, leaving only the tips my original blue. Uulii blue, as my parents called it.”

♝ Eye Color ➻   “My eyes much like my hair are a dark blue, with sky blue limbal rings.”

♞Birthday ➻ “I was born under the 12th sun of the first umbral moon. Oh! I guess I missed my own birthday. . .”

♜ Mood ➻   “Hmm... At the moment, I think I'm feeling a bit excited, though not without a hefty serving of anxiety mixed in. I'm about to do something that is a big step for me, so I both look forward to and dread the result simultaneously. Wish me luck!”

♟ Gender ➻ “. . . I would think it is obvious, though maybe those jokes my friends keep making are more than just jokes. I don't look that boyish. . . Right?”

♟ Summer or winter ➻   “Winter is honestly my favorite, and I think it is the reason that I have taken such a deep liking to Coerthas. There's just something about the silence of snow that puts my mind at ease.”

♟ Morning or afternoon ➻ “That moment just before the sun rises in the morning has something magical about it, that no other time of the day can compare to.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

♥ Are you in love ➻ “Horribly, I fear. Though I have yet to tell her.”

♥ Do you believe in love at first sight ➻ “As a person who has experienced it, I don't think I have a right to deny it's existence.”

♥ Who ended your last relationship ➻ “My last relationship. . . I put an end to. It wasn't exactly the healthiest, and I feared it would turn South soon, so I left it. Though I never told them. I just up and left, both physically and emotionally.”

♥ Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➻ “I hope not. I've only ever been in two relationships. The first one was a mutually agreed ending, and the second, as stated above, was bad for me so I left. If I have ever scorned somebody's feelings, and their heart broke over it . . . I'm just going to hope it's never happened.”

♥ Are you afraid of commitments ➻ “I don't think that I am, though I've never truly been in that deep of a relationship, so I can't truly say. Maybe someday I'll find out, though I would hope I would fight through the fear so as to allow something wonderful to bloom.”

♥ Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➻ “Plenty!”

♥ Have you ever had a secret admirer ➻ “If I have, then they did quite a good job keeping to the secret part of it.”

♥ Have you ever broken your own heart? ➻ “Yes, yes I have, and the wounds from it have still yet to fully heal.”

SIX CHOICES

♠ Love or lust ➻ “Love, without a doubt. While lust does have a place, nothing can truly beat out the feelings that accompany true love.”

♠ Lemonade or iced tea ➻ “I think I'd have to go with the tea. Lemonade is good, but only in certain circumstances, while iced tea is good all the time.”

♠ Cats or Dogs ➻ “Honestly, neither. Birds are what have always held that spot in my heart.”

♠ A few best friends or many regular friends ➻ “A few best friends are best for a weary heart. Having a small, tight-knit group of people I can put my full trust in is much nicer than a large group of people who will always just be a bit too distant to truly resonate with.”

♠ Wild night out or romantic night in ➻ “While I do enjoy both, a quiet night in, cuddled up reading books by a warm fire is my ideal night.”

♠ Day or night ➻ “The times when night and day meet are the best to me, but if I had to choose one... I think I would go with day. I have always been just a little scared of the things that go bump in the night, so if left alone, I'd rather avoid it. If I have somebody with me though, night does have a certain beauty of it's own.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

♦ Been caught sneaking out ➻ “I never had a reason to sneak out, so I couldn't exactly get caught doing it.”

♦ Fallen down/up the stairs ➻ “. . . I'm still getting used to how they work. I spent most of my life traversing flat ground.”

♦ Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➻ “Oh if only you knew, but to fully explain it I would need to take more of your time than I already am.”

♦ Wanted to disappear ➻ “. . . Sadly.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

♣ Smile or eyes ➻ “A cute smile can make my heart melt, but gorgeous and interesting eyes make it soar.”

♣ Shorter or Taller ➻ “Honestly, it's hard to get shorter than me without being a Lalafell, and while I have nothing against them, I think I like my partners to be a bit taller.”

♣ Intelligence or Attraction ➻ “Intelligence is the ultimate attractive feature. You can have the most beautiful face in the world, but if you cannot hold a conversation, is there really a point?”

♣ Hook-up or Relationship ➻ “I've honestly always been a bit scared of hook ups. The idea of getting together with a complete stranger makes my knees shake and thoughts race. I like to take things slow, if possible.”

FAMILY

♡ Do you and your family get along ➻ “My tribe was my everything, before they were taken away from me. I don't think anything can truly break the bonds we had.”

♤ Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➻ “At one point it was messed up, but I think the pieces that I have glued together are beautiful in their own way.”

♢ Have you ever ran away from home ➻ “I did, but it was a necessity. If I could go back, with everything just the way it was, I would.”

♧ Have you ever gotten kicked out ➻ “Once when I was a small child, I was 'kicked out' in order to teach me a lesson about stealing. I don't fully remember the events myself, but according to the story my parents told me, I took that opportunity to befriend some sort of large beast, and it took five of my tribe members two days to get me back from it. Needless to say, they never did that again.”

FRIENDS

♙ Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➻ “Hmm... I wouldn't say hate, but there is one that I don't know well enough, so I am probably more cautious than I should be around them.”

♟ Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➻ “No, only a couple have earned that title. I would love it if I could include more people in that grouping though!”

♙ Who is your best friend ➻ “Kaede ( @mapleforest ) is, without a doubt. Without her, I don't know how well I'd be doing right now.”

♟ Who knows everything about you ➻ “Nobody but me, at the moment. Well, unless you count my old, tiny stuffed horse. I've had it since I was a baby, so I suppose it would know everything. Good thing it can't talk.”

“Thank you to everyone who took your time to read this. It’s a little long, but I wanted to answer everything as best I could, which means it got a little bit wordy in the end.”

Tagged by @fracturedfantasia, I hope you enjoy Uulii’s answers!

Anyone who reads this, feel free to say you were tagged by me if you want to give it a go! My anxiety still isn’t at a point where I feel comfortable tagging people, otherwise I would. Thanks for reading! <3

[redheadedramblings]

Troubled History (Part 1)

Title: Troubled History (Part 1) Paring : Bucky x Reader Summary: You are a former Shield agent, after Shield was exposed you went underground and took some time for yourself. But now that the Winter Solider has woken up in Wakanda you are requested to watch over him and help him recover. word count: 2,398 warnings: none A/N : Should I turn this into a series? Would anyone like to read more? Also this is a crap title, anyone have any suggestions?

masterlist

You wiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand. Standing up you put your hands on your hips and admired the newly planted flowers in your garden. You let out a satisfied sigh and took off your gardening gloves and adjusted your sun hat. Today was a beautiful day and you thought it was a great time to add some new plants to your garden. The temperature was perfect, it was a low sixty degrees and the wind was just right giving you the perfect amount of coolness without making you too cold. It was the beginning of the summer and the temperature was finally getting warmer, you were so sick of the cold and the snow. Stepping back to look at your work you chuckled to yourself as you picked up the empty watering can. This new life of yours was turning out better than you thought it would. As a former Shield agent it wasn’t easy after it was exposed to be an ugly front for Hydra. This whole time you had been working for that disgusting organization and every time you thought about it, it made you sick. When the documents were released online, and the whole world knew who you were, it got ugly. Those months after were rough for you, especially since you had no were to go. Then came the Accords, you didn’t want anything to do with that, you didn’t want to take sides so you didn’t. You let them hash it out like adults. You stayed off the radar until things cooled off. Fleeing the scene you tried to start over, since you didn’t have anything to go back to you tired to make things work. And man was it hard at first. You tried to create a new person, new name, you tried to lie. But for some reason it never worked even thought thats what you did for a living, you lied. You you took some steps back, you tried something nice and simple. You tried being yourself. But that was harder than you thought because you didn’t really know who you were since you would show other people what they wanted to see, the alias, the lies. You took a trip of self discovery if one should call it that. You made a mental note of things that you liked and things you didn’t. At first it was small things like, you liked the color blue over the color red. You didn’t like crowed places, they made you feel uncomfortable. And you didn’t like loud sounds or big cities. Then you started to get more in depth like you preferred waking up at noon than at nine everyday or you liked thick cut bacon to thin cut bacon. Or you didn’t like spicy foods, for it hurt your stomach. These things for you were important to because you needed to find out who you were before anyone else could. You lived by yourself, you have always lived alone for as long as you can remember. You never minded it really since there was no one to really miss. Although sometimes something would happen in your day and you were dying to tell someone but all there was, was an empty apartment. You bought your apartment with some extra money you had thrown into savings. You bought a flat for yourself that was a bit out of town, far enough away that you couldn’t hear the loud cars or the sirens. But not too far that you could pop back into society and be around people. It was a decent size, nothing fancy you preferred it that way. You specifically picked it because of the garden that was off your porch. When you were on your little path of discovery you found out that you loved plants and flowers. You took a liking to them and filled your garden and your house up with different types of herbs and flowers. For some reason adjusting to civilian life was easier than you thought. Although you haven’t done the whole “friends” thing yet. You don’t usually talk to people and you keep to yourself. That was another thing you had to deal with. One day at a time though. Although you still had your training, and that was something you couldn’t just shut off. If you accidentally dropped something your quick reflexes would grab it before it would hit the ground. You would also be on high alert to what was around you, taking in every smell and sound. If something was off, you knew in a split second. So maybe having friends wasn’t the best idea at the moment, it may not be for a while. No one would really understand. Walking back into to the porch you threw your gloves on the table and you brushed the dirt off you before you walked inside. You opened the doors and slipped off your shoes before entering the house. Oh, that was another thing, you didn’t like to track dirt in from outside so you always took off your shoes. You cleaned yourself off but still felt gross so you took a shower. The warm water felt good on your skin and it trickled down your legs. The steam opened up your pores and you washed your body with a wide varieties of body washes and soaps. You loved things that spelled sweet so your bathroom was decorated with all sorts of lotions and shampoos. You took the wash cloth and washed yourself finding some dirt had gotten though your overalls. You moved down your stomach and washed your scars carefully. You had scars covering your back and parts of your stomach. You hated them at first, they were a collection from over the years. But each had their own story. The big gash on your stomach is when you were taken hostage on a rescue mission gone wrong. You had another on your back that looped around your side that was caused by a horrible car chase that put you in the hospital for weeks. You looked down at yourself and smiled, you felt like a flower. Flowers have all sorts of lines and colors on them, the white scars that littered your body were a decoration on you. Running your hands down your stomach you touched the three bullet scars that peirseded your skin. There were three, when you looked at them, they looked like they would form into a lop sided triangle. These scars you hated, you were shot three time in the same day. You remembered that day, although you wished you could forget it. You should have died but you didn’t, instead you were gifted with these lovely reminders that you failed and that it was all the Winter Soldiers fault. Your smiled faded as you found yourself trying to shake that memory out of your head. You turned off the water and stepped out in a towel. You didn’t want to ruin this day with the memory of that man. You got dressed and made dinner that night. Then you stayed up way to late reading a book which you would always lose track of time, but that never bothered you. The next day was very sunny and very hot. You decided that it would be wise not to go work outside because you didn’t want to sweat that much. You took a trip into town and thought it would be a good idea to visit your favorite coffee shop. You didn’t like coffee, it was too bitter for your liking although you liked the smell. You loved tea though, you even grow your own tea leaves in your garden. You popped in and the lady in the front knew you, you were one of her regulars. When you ordered you talked about her son and how well the shop is doing. When you got your iced tea she threw in a biscuit for free and you sat out in the front of the shop at a table by yourself. Taking a deep breath in you took in everything around you. Another beautiful day, there were kids laughing people walking around shopping and it was bliss to you. Suddenly your felt your purse buzz as you reached into it and grabbed your phone. You looked at the screen, the caller ID read “unknown” but you answered it as you got a gut feeling telling you to do so. “Hello Y/L/N” said the voice on the other end. Fury. You knew that voice anywhere. You smiled and adjusted in your seat sipping the straw in your tea. “Hello Fury. What can I do for you?” “We need to talk” “Well what do you call us doing right now?” “We need to talk in person” You paused for a moment. You didn’t know what this meant but you hopped you would be getting roped into something bad again. “Alright when and where?” you asked. “Does that coffee shop sell a good dark roast?” Damn it. He was here. You pulled the phone away from your ear and looked around and saw Fury leaning against a building watching you from afar. You lowered your sunglasses down to the bridge of your nose and set your phone down. He walked across the road and reached your table. You held out your hand and you shook hands with your former boss. You had always liked Fury, he was always kind to you. He was the one who recruited you and he personally put in a request for you to join Shield. He was tough on you but he cared a lot for you and knew you were a good agent. You hadn’t seen him for a few years, not since the accords. You spoke to him briefly and expressed you concerns which he respected. But since then nothing, you hadn’t talked to anything from your former life since then. “So boss, what brings you here?” you asked as he sat in the chair across from you. “You arn’t even going to ask how I found you or how I got your number?” “At this point i am not surprised anymore.” He let out a small chuckle but his smile disappeared as he leaned in. Un-Oh, you knew that look. He was going to ask you a question that you weren’t going to like. “Y/N” he began. “I have a job for you to do” You swallowed and looked up at him. “Alright, what kind of job are we talking about?” He just looked at you for a moment. His silence was making it worse for you. “You know Barnes was put on ice right?” Oh lord. Bucky Barnes. That was the last person you wanted to hear about right now. “Yea, I heard about that. He was put under so that he wouldn’t hurt people.” “He is going to he woken up soon. And we need someone to watch over him” “No” you quickly answered. You knew what he was asking you. You didn’t want to think about that man, you didn’t want to talk about that man and you sure as hell didn’t want to babysit that man. “Y/N” “No. Fury. My answer is no. You know how I feel about this” “I understand that. But what you need to understand is that I think it will do you good to see him. It will help you get better. I know what happened to you, but you need to trust me on this. Plus I needed someone I trust to be at his side”. You looked away from him. You didn’t want to be having this conversation right now. “I think it will do you some good” he repeated this time with a softer tone. “Why me? Why can’t you get someone else to do this? Anyone else would be better than me! Fury, I can’t do that!” You were beginning to lose control of your emotions and your bullet scars felt like they were on fire under your shirt. You took some breaths and calmed down. “You know how I feel about this” you stressed again almost in a whisper. “I know.” he replies. You sighed and looked back at him. “I…I will think about it.” you said looking back up at his face. He nodded and you were both silent for a minute when he pulled a folder out and laid it down in front of you. You looked at the manila folder staring back at you. The big red letters read “Highly classified” were off colored showing how old it was. It had worn edges and some papers were sticking out from the sides. You knew that when you opened it, you weren’t going to like what you saw. “I will stay in touch. Contact me by the end of this week. We will discuss more of this later.” You nodded as he rose from the table and looked at you one more time. You gave him a fake smile which he could see though. He pushed in his chair and you saw him walk away disappearing though the passing crowd. Your skin felt hot as you turned your attention back to the folder. After a couple minutes you stood up, your tea in one hand and the folder in the other. You didn’t sleep that night. You lied there awake. You really didn’t know what you were thinking, you just kept replaying the conversation you had with Fury over and over again. “He is going to he woken up soon. And we need someone to watch over him” thats the sentence that you kept hearing. Fury knows what happened to you and he still had to nerve to ask you to supervise him. You felt angry for that, and to be honest a bit scared. You raised your head and looked at the folder that was sitting there on your night stand where you had thrown it earlier that day. You bit your lip. You couldn’t do this, you didn’t want to do this. But for some reason you felt a wanting to help. Your mind was thinking to fast and you sat up and shook your head. You finally took a deep breath and you turned on your lamp and opened the folder.

[titus-artorius]

► Name ➔ “Titus Artorius”

► Are you single? ➔ “No, I am not.” ► Are you happy? ➔ “I am to be married to someone who has ever been at my side, who has fought the same evils I have and never flinched, If I was not happy, frankly I would be confused.” ► Are you angry? ➔ “Anger, it is a natural reaction to certain things. I believe though you wonder if I am prone to outbursts of rage.  No, I am not.” ► Are your parents still married? ➔ ”I.. I do not even know if they are alive..”

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “I believe on my documentation it says Ul’Dah, does it not?”  (Garlemald) ► Hair Color ➔ “The color of silver and platinum. I have been told it may make people mistake me for one of those Garlean soldiers.” ► Eye Color ➔  “The best color to have in Ul’dah, Gold.” ► Nameday ➔ “ 16th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon” ► Mood ➔ “Hmm.. Do you know that feeling when you are calm, yet you can feel a tingling excitement under your skin?” ► Gender ➔ “Gender? Do you mean sex? Male.” ► Summer or winter ➔ ‘The heat brings out a restless sting of the skin, that slight sheen of sweat that signals to the world a primal discomfort. I do not like that. Moreover it is in Ishgard where many of my friendships deepened considerably. It is within the snows of Ishgard that I talked extensively with Neeka and Nalukai for the first times. A small bar outside of Ishgard itself but in Coerthas. I saw much of Bellona’s culture as well, and I felt closer than I ever had to my friends... artificial though it may be, there is always this deep melancholy that comes over me remembering those times when I see snow fall. A feeling so sweet it hurts a little.. I am sorry.. Winter, I believe I got carried away.” ► Morning or afternoon ➔ “I enjoy training in the morning, before the sun crests that way I can begin to cook breakfast and go over paperwork.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “I am , of course.” ► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “Hmm, I suppose I can understand why some would. There have been women that have sparked an infatutation. I could have loved them, however, I do not think it would have worked.” ► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “I did, She did not take it well at the time. However, with the passing of such, and our paths diverging we have since rekindled a friendship that is much more than what our relationship was. I am glad she has found happiness.” ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “I honestly would doubt that notion.” ► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “No of course not.” ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yes” ► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “I.. I do not know how to answer this, if I did would they be a secret? I have had admirers, I am getting married to her.” ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “I am afraid I do not understand this question. Could you perhaps give me an example of what it means so that I may give you a proper answer?”

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “Love, it ages better.” ► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ “I prefer to mix them together, you would think the sweet and the tart would be bland, yet it makes an entirely different and in my opinion better flavor profile.” ► Cats or Dogs ➔ “Cats of course. Bellona has one and when she scratches under her chin she purs so loud you would think there was an earthquake.” ► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “I do not think that I have made many friends with people who have remained on the periphery, rather each and everyone of them has decided me worthy of them and in so I have honored them in sharing with them all that they care to hear about me.” ► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “I .. umm.. Hmm. “ ► Day or Night ➔ “With the Night it is often cooler as such I tend to prefer that.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ “No, I do not sneak.” ► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Does it count if you were hit down them?” ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “Naturally.” ► Wanted to disappear ➔ “Yes, though not because I felt I did not belong or some such explanation but rather because I was in a situation that I very much did not want to be a part of.” ► Wanted to rewrite a part of your past ➔ “I believe this is a natural inclination for anyone who harbors a deep regret. I myself have a few, though they are not so big that I did not eventually fix them.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “I much prefer the eyes.” ► Shorter or Taller ➔ “Very few women besides Elezen or Roegadyn are taller than me. I suppose its more of a natural order?” ► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ “I have been blessed in that any woman I have been attracted to has also been very intelligent.” ► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “Relationships. I find that keeping things casual is something some people aim for, however there are always feelings that creep in and inevitably love, or at the very least attachment forms.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ “In that respect, I believe I may be the last of my line. However, ours was a house of stability.” ► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “The world seems to be embroiled in a constant war for the last twenty years and to top that off we had a near doomsday scenario. I venture to say it is hard to even claim such because tragedy has been relegated to the status-quo” ► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “No. My mother is a skilled tracker you see.” ► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “No”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “There are times when I disapprove of their life style or decisions, but at their core I know them to be good people. I know they would fight and if need be, maybe even die for me. I cannot hate someone who would entrust in me that much worth.” ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Yes, I would fight and die for them if it came to it.” ► Who is your best friend ➔ “There is no singular best friend. My greatest allies are Bellona Bloodrose. Nalukai and Rokku, Neeka, Galhaihuarat. All those that may call them friends as well may consider my door open if they need aid or sanctuary. ► Who knows everything about you ➔ “To be honest, There is much about myself that I do not even know. I wish I could offer a better answer.”

Tagged by: @nalukaixiv @neekaxiv (Thank you both, I know you try)

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this and @ffxivbellonabloodrose

[thornescratch]

I want to watch old Washington Capitals games but I don't know which. If you have any favourite games from the past, would you mind recommending some? It could be your favourite because they won, or they were hilarious while loosing, or even because something memorable or amusing happened at the game. I am asking you because you obviously have a lot of passion for this team, and also because you might have fellow Caps fan followers who might be willing to offer recs too. Thank you in advance!

Oh! This is a super fun question, so thank you. Hmm. This is hard because I know I’m going to write a ton and then remember “I LEFT OUT SUCH AND SUCH GAME” as soon as I hit post. So, yeah, if anyone’s reading this and wants to chime in with their favorite Caps games, please feel free!

And I’m not sure how you’re going to watch these games– hell, I’m not sure all the ones I’d recommend are available, but, I’ll try to be cognizant of that. So. That said. I should probably take this moment to note that if you want to have an actual convenient DVD, Amazon sells one of the 10 Greatest Capitals Games. You used to be able to buy it in the team store, but I haven’t seen it there in a couple years, so.

That particular DVD is very much geared to the Ovechkin era, which I don’t really see as a bad thing, but I don’t know you. And if you’re looking for much more of a deep dive into past Caps history, the DVD does include some of the most exciting and seminal games, but it’s much more current in general. I do get the mindset of people who have been around for this entire franchise and scoff at only focusing at 2005 on. I do get it! But the thing is, when you try to watch old games, you run into the fact they’re one, hard to find, two, generally of terrible video quality.

…Also the reviewer on Amazon who bitches because they think it should include the 4 OT Easter Epic should be soundly donkeypunched. Look, buddy, we all signed up for a disproportionate amount of disappointment as Caps fans, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be memorialized on a DVD. With that said, here are the games I love to rewatch or remember or I just think they’re neat. I’ll start with the DVD games because that’s convenient, and then go on with some other ones I like

Here’s what the DVD includes. All of these are good games to watch.

4/16/1988 - Dale Hunter scores the series’ winner in overtime as the Caps beat the Philadelphia Flyers 5-4 to win Game 7 of the Patrick Division semi-final. This was the one they used in that “History will” series of NHL commercials because we have so few good playoff highlights.

4/17/1996 - In the Eastern Conference quarter-final against the Pittsburgh Penguins, the team rallies from a three-goal deficit to win 6-4.

6/4/1998 - Joe Juneau scores the overtime winner in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference finals, and the Caps go onto their first (and only) Stanley Cup appearance.

10/5/2005 - Ovechkin’s first NHL game. He scores two goals, hits a dude so hard the glass pane falls out, and Caps beat Columbus Blue Jackets 3-2.

11/23/2007 - First Bruce Boudreau coaching game, an overtime win against Philadelphia. Ah, Bruce.

1/31/2008 - Ovechkin’s (first) four goal game against the Habs, where he broke his nose (again) and won the game in OT.

4/5/2008 - Caps win 3-1 against the Florida Panthers to gain their first playoff appearance in five years, after having to win 11 of 12 down the stretch and pushing to the last day.

4/11/2008 - Ovechkin’s first NHL playoff game, with him leading the team to a come-from-behind win over Philadelphia.

4/28/2009 - Russian legend Sergei Fedorov, in his first and last season with the Caps, provides the game-winning goal in Game 7 against the New York Rangers, leading the Caps to win 2-1 in the Eastern Conference quarterfinals. God, that goal. (Also, don’t look now, but that was a Game 7 the Caps won.)

5/4/2009 - The Ovechkin-Crosby dueling hat tricks playoff game with the Caps winning 4-3. (This was also where Crosby complained about hats being thrown on the ice. Like, there are many other reasons he’s never going to be on my Christmas card list, but this was him at some of his whiniest and pettiest, and when I think of reasons why I don’t care for the dude, this one tends to flash across my mind. Because I am also petty. EXCELSIOR.)

OTHER PLAYOFF GAMES.

HEY YES I KNOW EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF US ABOUT THE PLAYOFFS WELL HERE ARE SOME PLAYOFFS GAMES YOU CAN WATCH AND ENJOY.

4/20/2011 - Game four of the series with the New York Rangers. Yeah, yeah, the Caps have had their share of OT pain with the Rangers. But this comes from one of the shorter playoff series the Caps enjoyed in the Ovechkin era, and hey look, it’s a double OT WIN, which came about after the Caps had fallen behind 3-0 in the game, and then forced OT and won it on what was described as a “freaky sort of development play”. Marian Gaborik, in an attempt to clear the puck, accidentally yanked it away from Lundqvist and passed it directly to Jason Chimera, who promptly put it back in the net, and then skated the length of the ice in basically two seconds while his teammates tried to catch him for hugs. (Game 5 of that series was also pretty good because it’s one of the few times where the Caps were closing out a series and never looked worried during it. Just a nice solid win.)

4/25/2012 - Game Seven of the series with the Boston Bruins. Yeah, yeah, the Caps and Game 7′s. HERE’S ONE THAT WE ACTUALLY WON. This series was so fucking close and insane and it was the NHL playoff debut of a young Braden Holtby who came storming up from the AHL after both Tomas Vokoun and Michal Neuvirth went down to freak injury and went on to become the Bruins’s worst nightmare. (If you love Braden Holtby, you should remember that ex-Cap then-Panther Marco Sturm falling on Michal Neuvirth is what propelled Holtby into the playoffs out of necessity, and therefore most Caps fans probably owe him a drink.) And of course, this was the game of Joel Ward’s OT winner, with a helping of Mike Knuble’s gigantic ass in Tim Thomas’s face, (and I’m frankly still amazed the Caps didn’t get boned with a GI call on it), and man do I love me some Joel Ward.

4/27/2015 - Game Seven of the series with the Islanders. ANOTHER GOOD OUTCOME GAME SEVEN. This game seven on the other hand wasn’t as close (though every Caps fan was puckered and freaking during it) and the Caps were dominating. Joel Ward scored first for the Caps, and they outshot New York and were handling the Isles with ease, only to have everyone almost lose their shit when Holtby made a mistake and let Nielson tie. However, just as the Bruins series was Holtby’s debut party, the Isles series was Evgeny Kuznetsov’s Big Show. He scored with just over seven minutes left in the game on Halak, the goalie who’d tortured the Caps in 2010, and it was another successful Game 7 and series win. Since we don’t have a ton of those, enjoy it.

4/18/2016 - Game Three of the series with the Flyers. This was the, uh, Bracelet Game. But it was also a game where the Caps scored five goddamn powerplay goals to win 6-1 and took a 3-0 series lead for the first time in– well, ever. (At least in the seven game series era.) This is why it narrowly beats out Game Two, which had the Steve Mason “OH NO” goal given up to Jason Chimera.

4/19/2017 - I feel like I should include a Leafs playoff series game here from 2017 for completeness sake. Uh. Hmm. Let’s go with Game Four, since it had Tom Wilson saving a goal, then going down ice to score a goal, and was high-scoring, super-close, and barely squeaked away from going to OT.

OTHER REGULAR SEASON GAMES

1/1/2011, 1/1/2015 - Both Winter Classics. CAPS ARE UNDEFEATED IN OUTDOOR GAMES. Plus, they both serve as a good excuse to rewatch the HBO 24/7 and Epix Road to the Winter Classic specials.

2/7/2010 - Snowvechkin. Ovi had a hat trick against the Pens, the Caps had to come from behind, there was bizarre reffing, and Caps won. This was all the more impressive because DC was essentially under two feet of snow at this point and for the intrepid souls who basically walked into the city on foot to see the game, they got a real gem.

2/6/2011 - The Caps shut out the Pens 3-0 on Superbowl Sunday, but more dramatically, shaved ape on skates and career injury-causing cockmonger Matt Cooke tried to go knee on knee with Alex Ovechkin in the process and Nicklas Backstrom did his best to punch everliving shit out of him for doing it. It’s great seeing Backstrom get in Cooke’s face and throw hands afterthe shot on Ovechkin. If “ice in his veins and murder in his eyes” Backstrom is that visibly emotional,then somebody done done somebody wrong.

3/7/2011 - Holtby comes on in relief of Neuvirth in a game against the Bolts, when Neuvirth takes a shot off the mask and gets a sliver of metal in his eye. He held the Caps in it, and went on to help get the shootout win, 2-1. This was the very beginning of his career, and he’d go on to start the post-season against the Bruins and really blossom.

1/24/2012: Matty Perreault tricks the Bruins. This was an interesting game because it was one of the games Ovechkin was suspended for, after the NHL decided to make an example out of him and suspend him for a hit on Michalek but still require him to go to the ASG. Ovechkin not eager to play the NHL game of cookie-cutter villain / showdog to trot out and make money (boy, if you ever want to get an earful of rant, start me off on that particular suspension because I will not shut up about it, ever) and withdrew from the ASG. With Ovechkin out for suspension and Nicklas Backstrom concussed by noted shitstain Rene Bourque, and Mike Green also injured, it wasn’t looking good– until diminutive hero Matty P stepped up (and later got a shaving cream pie, courtesy of his proud captain who essentially rushed out of the press box in his suit and down to the ice to do it) to win the damn game with his hatty.

Fun fact with this game: Perreault somehow managed to high-stick Chara in the face during this game.Ponder that one for a minute. One might wonder how Perreault could even high-stick someone who routinely gets calls from Logan Airport to please move his head sothe planes can take off, without sneaking a ladder onto the ice or something.

2/24/2012 - Caps beat Habs 4-1. There’s an Ovechkin pretty goal in this one, but this real thing I remember is that Mike Green was itching to get back at Rene Bourque for concussing Backstrom, and boy did he. Green was playing Bourque because of the puck coming his waynear the net, but as soon as he saw the puck was past and out of danger, heturned his full attention to absolutely nailing Bourque and shoving him face-first into the goal-side. It was awesome.“Oh, did I fling you into the goal post? My bad, man.”

3/29/2012 - Matt Hendricks wins the shootout for Washington 3-2 and completely turns Tim Thomas inside out. At that point, you expected players like PKane or Datsyuk or Oshie to make beautiful, awe-inspiring SO moves.Matt Hendricks? Well, that’s a secret Caps fans knew and reveled in, and then welaughed at the other teams when they went, “Matt Hendricks, seriously? That’swho you're—oh, fuck. Fuck! fuuuuuuck! Where the fuck did that come from?!”

4/16/2013 - Ovechkin nearly tears Jay McClement’s head off for boarding Backstrom. This was a Caps 5-1 win over Toronto, and you’ve probably seen the clip in question. It was encouraging to see how much the team rushed to start a line brawl for Nicky’s sake. Backstrom, it should be noted, stood right back up and threw himself after the guy throwing himself at Ovi, so it went both ways.

12/10/2013 - I could describe all of Ovi’s four goal games, but this one against the Bolts, a 6-5 shootout win, was super dramatic and his first since 2008, a five year span. I’m just going to quote the RMNB recap of it: First, Mike Green committed a penalty and the Lightningscored. Then, Mike Green committed a penalty and the Lightning scored. Then, ina Shyamalany plot twist, Mike Green was on-ice when the Lightning scored. Holtbywas like, “Sick of you, Mike,” and he peaced out; Grubauer in. AlexOvechkin put the team on the board with an instant-score following a faceoff.Okay, buckle up. Here we go.

Troy Brouwer proved unable, so Nick Backstrom finished off the powerplay for him. Then, Alex Ovechkin happened. After Richard Panik earned a 5-minute major for boarding Karl Alzner, the Russian machine made Tampa pay. Twice. First, he laid up a cross-ice pass from Marcus Johansson, then he took a one-timer from Green to tie the game. Hats rained down. Another three-goal second period for the Washington Capitals.

Ondrej Palat put the Bolts back up in the third, taking advantage of some observational Capitals defense, but the Caps weren’t done. With the Caps net empty, Alex Ovechkin struck again, scoring his 4th goal of the night. HIS FOURTH FOARTH GOAL OF THE NIGHT.

12/13/2014 - Backstrom’s natural hat trick against the Lightning. He’s just so silky smooth.

10/23/2015 - Evgeny Kuznetsov’s hat trick and five point night against the Edmonton Oilers.

11/16/2016 - Nicklas Backstrom has another 5 five point night as the Caps skull the Penguins 7-1. Fun fact: At that point in time, Backstrom had had five five-point games, one more than Ovechkin, equaling Crosby, and one less than Malkin. And… no All Star Game appearances or Selkes, because the NHL is stupid.

If you want to know his other five point games up until then, they were:

11/16/2016 against Pittsburgh Penguins – 2 goals, 3 assists12/10/2013 against Tampa Bay Lightning – 1 goal, 4 assists02/04/2010 against New York Rangers – 1 goal, 4 assists12/05/2009 against Philadelphia Flyers – 1 goal, 4 assists11/15/2008 against New Jersey Devils – 1 goal, 4 assists

1/7/2017 - Backstrom’s 500th assist, on a TJ Oshie goal. It’s harder to pick out favorite Backstrom games because his game is so quiet and focused on operating in the shadows. Usually he’s having some kind of tremendous game that people focus on the dudes scoring the goals off the magical moves he’s making.

1/22/2017 - Ovechkin’s 1000th point. 35 seconds in, against the Pens. FUN FACT I WAS THERE FOR THIS ONE. I have a good friend from out of town who is a Pens fan (I’m as shocked as you), and for the past couple years she’s come to town from across the country when the Caps play the Pens, and my record with her was ABYSMAL. Until this game, I had never seen the Caps win in person at Verizon while she was there, but then this one happened, and she very kindly didn’t shove me over the ledge of the nosebleeds to my death, as she would have probably been in full rights to do after all the hooting and capering I was doing.

LOSSES? UH….

I don’t have a lot of recs for Caps losses because, well, I’m not a masochist. But if you must, I would recommend two particular ones first because the fights were bonkers.

11/21/1998 - Caps vs. Bruins. These is notable because of the goalie fight. Most notably, the one that’s been called “The Dance” between Byron Dafoe and Olie Kolzig, since– well, you’ll know it when you see it. The backstory is, Dafoe and Kolzig were close friends– best men at each other’s weddings, even. And when the Bruins and Caps threw down in their line brawl, Dafoe grabbed Dale Hunter (Dale Hunter having been just momentarily pried out from the dogpile and had just been separated from Ken Belanger) and Kolzig came down the ice to get in on the action. However, Kolzig decided to fight Ken Belanger (since the refs had turned around to deal with Dale Hunter) which was… uh, probably not a good idea.

Dafoe and Hunter had simultaneous “Ho-shit, son,” realizations, immediately stopped fighting each other, and flung themselves at Kolzig and Belanger respectively. Dafoe grabbed Kolzig and basically waltzed him away from Belanger before he could get his head smashed in, and Hunter went back to fighting Belanger. Kolzig and Dafoe pulled each other’s jerseys off while Kolzig seemed torn between trying to yell at Dafoe for yanking him out of the fight and laughing at his friend. Everyone on the ice got tossed and the Caps lost 5-4 in OT.

1/12/2010 - Caps vs. Bolts. You actually don’t really have to watch this whole game, which was a 7-4 loss. You just need to watch Steve Downie and Alex Ovechkin drop the gloves and prepare to fight, only to have Matt Bradley come streaking in at the last second and literally steal the fight out of Ovechkin’s hands. Dan Steinberg did a great write-up of it for the Sportsbog. It’‘s kind of hilarious because, well, Ovi and Downie were both completely taken by surprise. If you catch any of the later analyst clips, you can see Bradley watching Ovi and Downie yell at each in the box, keeping an eye on the unfolding events like a hawk, screaming urgently at Eric Fehr to get the hell off the ice so he can get on without getting the instigator, and then just making a direct beeline for the fight so he can get in front of Ovi and punch Downie in the face.

12/16/2014 - The never ending fucking shoot out with the Panthers. Ugh. I refuse to even google this to find highlights. WE WENT THROUGH THE ENTIRE GODDAMN ROSTER. EVEN BROOKS FUCKING ORPIK SCORED. ON A TRIPLE DEKE. I still refuse to believe the entire thing wasn’t a fever dream from the mind of Roberto Luongo while passed out on the can. It did at least give us the notable mic’d up quote of “Coach Korn has a pitched tent in the stands right now,” though.

WAIT IT’S BAD LUCK TO END ON A LOSS, LET’S END WITH SOME MORE WINS.

1/08/2016 - This game had everything I say, in my best breathy Stefon voice. A quick two goal lead for the Caps. Giving up three goals to fall behind. Nicklas Backstrom slamming in a loose puck with less than ten seconds left to tie it. OT madness. Nate Schmidt and his skate helping Holtby save an almost slam dunk Ranger goal off the faceoff in OT. Ovechkin grabbing the saved puck and going end to end to score in OT. Ovechkin falling on his face. Happy, huggy chaos by the Caps on Madison Square Garden ice. Ovi one away from 500 goals…

1/10/2016 - Ovechkin’s 500th. This might be my favorite game (for now…), not because it was a blowout win, not because Ovechkin actually had two in this game, one of which involved dangling Erik Karlsson’s pants off, but watching the team come to celebrate with him, seeing how much they loved him and were overjoyed for him and had actually planned it out in advance without his knowledge… that’s just something special. It was just a really, really good moment that very little can spoil for me, no matter what.

[ellesheltonwalczak]

Part I: The Winter Birthday Party (a Samuel Green story)

Bradford looked in the rear view mirror at his son. “Are you excited for Ella’s birthday party?”

Samuel was excited. He hadn’t been out of the house much, nor seen many of his friends since the onset of COVID. Local school officials hadn’t declared it safe to resume class room learning. Unlike other kids, Samuel was not naturally inclined to outdoor enthusiasms. It certainly never bothered him much, prior to the pandemic or even six months into the shelter in place order everyone had been living through. But the state’s recommended isolation was surpassing the one year mark, and Samual was beginning to reassess his interior ways. 

He finally replied. “Yes I am excited.” 

His father gave a hearty nod. Samuel knew his dad was clearly more excited then him. But at least he wasn’t as unexcited as Marlene his mother, her’s was no attitude for a party. 

“I simply don’t understand.” Marlene remarked while increasing their car’s heat. 

“It’s only 20 degrees outside right now.”

“A virtual heat wave for February.” chuckled her husband. Samuel could tell from simply looking at the back of his mother’s head, she was not amused.

“Is it that important to celebrate a child’s birthday? It’s not as if she’s the 20th reincarnation of the Dalai Lama. Maybe I wish she were.” Marlene said wistfully. “At least she’d have enough compassion to see to it her friends don’t freeze to death.” 

Samuel wasn’t sure if Ella was really his friend or not. When in school she didn’t say much to him in particular, but she wasn’t mean to him either.

“It will be fine.” Bradford’s position in the family, besides husband and father was also that of Chief Optimistic Officer or COO as Marlene and Samuel liked to tease. 

“The kids will be running around so much, they won’t have time to get cold. Plus the invitation said they’d have warm drinks, a hearty fire, blankets and extra clothes if anyone was feeling the weather.”

Samuel thought extra clothes would be the last thing he would need. Marlene had insisted he wear his one hundred percent wool marino top and bottom base layers. -“One hundred precent wool always. It has God given natural wicking ability, so the foul smell of sweat stays trapped.” Marlene insisted. Of course he had also worn his down coat, regular pants and snow pants over those. Samuel wasn’t afraid of being cold. He was afraid of having to pee. He knew that at the slightest hint of the urge, a proactive head start was going to be a necessity. He also surmised that if it were too late, the worst that could happen is that his bottom base layer would have to do its “wicking” job. 

“I won’t be cold.” 

“Of course you won’t!” The COO enthused. 

“What about hypothermia? What will dear Ella’s parents do about that? I suppose their response will be to throw the victim on the fire. Can you even have a fire in 20 degree weather?” 

“This is a child’s birthday party dear, not a Nodic pyre.”

“Yes, it’s possible.” 

Marlene turned around to look at her son. 

“Assuming the Cheings create an underlying layer of coals under the wood, it should get very hot and last for some time.” Marlene was always in awe of how smart her little boy was, and amazed he came from her and Bradford. She smiled.

“We’ll you’re that smart. It doesn’t strike me that these parents are however. They can’t be if their going to have a child’s birthday party outside...in a front yard...in winter.”

“Let’s just wait and see. Shall we?” The COO placed a gentle and conforting hand on his wife’s knee. 

It was easy for Samuel and his parents to determine which of the multitude of repeated suburban architecture was Ella’s and her family’s, the children standing in the yard two deep around the fire gave it away. If the balloons-the universally understood indicator of a child’s birthday party, weren’t ubiquitously tied to every part of the house’s front facade, it wouldn’t have appeared like a party at all. Rather it looked like an Arctic expedition gone horribly wrong. Ella’s parents looked as if they were trying to calm their weather weary team who wanted nothing more then to stay warm while they waited for a rescue chopper. 

Marlene threw her arm toward Samuel in the backseat. “Put you head down dear. They’ll never know it’s us if I duck down too.” Marlene turned her attention to Bradford. Step on it!” Samuel didn’t move and the COO looked at his wife incredulously.  

“That’s a bit much, isn’t it? I admit it does look a bit...

“Survivor-ish?” 

“No. Just lacking some ignition. Party ignition! Luckily we have that in the backseat.”

Even for Samuel his father’s optimism had gone too far. 

“Dad. Mom. It’s alright. I still want to go. I’ll just be happy to be with my friends. Even if we just stand in the front yard.”

“For hours honey?..for hours.”

“It’ll be fine mom.” Samuel thought he’d be more then fine. Unknown to his parents the lack of activity put his mind at ease. He was good with books, ideas, and concepts. But outdoor activity, not so much.

 “I’m dressed for it, remember?” 

Marlene did remember. Then in her mind, she gave herself a hearty congratulations for being such a good and well prepared mother. Regardless, she could’t stand the thought of her Samuel being out in the cold for hours. Even she knew there was a limit to one hundred precent marino wool even if Samuel didn’t. The material only worked its best if movement was involved-which there seemed to be none. 

Bradford slowly pulled the car to the front of Ella’s house. That was all the expedition team needed. The chopper had arrived! As soon as the car came to a stop, Bradford, Marlene, and Samuel found themselves surround on all sides by masked covered mouths and noses, mittened hands, and red cheeks pressed against the window each reciting the personal trauma of their odyssey. 

“My mittens aren’t keeping my hands warm....”

“Are my ears still on? I know I have a hat on. But they’re so c..c..cold....”

“I can’t feel my feet and toes. I can’t feel my feet and toes!....”

“Can I get in? Your windows are so warm.”

“Will you call my mom, Samuel’s mom, so she can pick me up?”

“There’s no cake only cold....”

“My front is warm from the fire, but my back isn’t.”

Samuel was rethinking his introduction into the party.

“What did I tell you Chief Optimistic Officer? You want Samuel clawing at the windows of the next child’s car who gets dropped off.” Bradford knew he didn’t but what were they to do? Everyone had already seen them arrive. Just then the expedition’s team leaders started clearing out the wall of children’s bodies. 

A short woman in a down coat that looked more like she had a quilted blanket sewn directly on her body came to collect the team. “Come on Abigale. Nick. Everyone! Let’s get some hot chocolate.” Amidst moans and groans the kids grudgingly pealed themselves from the car’s windows and complied. 

Once the crowd of kids cleared Ella’s father was left standing next to the driver side window. 

Marlene leaned over and whispered. “They’re Asian? Asian’s aren’t known for their winter activity skills?” Instant exasperation filled Bradford’s entire body. 

“We’re black, we’re not know for our tree farming skills. But we own one in the middle of Minnesota.” Marlene nodded. She couldn’t argue with the logic. But she thought that 400 years of slavery, must have genetically qualified them for something horticulturally related. She didn’t convey this to Bradford however.

“Hi. I’m Ella’s father, Oliver!” Marlene guessed he was probably COO of Ella’s family, like Bradford was of theirs, given the inflection in his introduction. 

Bradford excitedly shook his counter-part’s hand. 

“Bradford! And this is my wife Marlene.” Marlene leaned over from the perch of the passenger side seat and gave a very insincere grin and Queen of England wave. 

Oliver took a peak into the backseat. 

“Samuel! I’m glad you could make it!”

“Thank you Mr. Cheing. I’m happy to be here.” Samuel released the car door’s lock and felt his mother’s hand grasp his arm.

“If you want to leave at any time, you let us know.” Marlene delivered her message as a handler would to a spy, intoning the immediate danger of the mission.  

“I will mom. Bye Dad!” 

“Bye Samuel. Have fun!”

Ella’s father, Oliver, sensing Marlene’s fear stated, “We’ve had a bit of a shaky start today. But no worries! We’ve got outdoor activity reinforcements on the way! 

Marlene gave a slight nod, but she was throughly unconvinced of the Cheings’ ability to keep the expedition team occupied. 

“We’re not worried!” chimed in Marlene’s COO. “If there’s cake, everyone will go home happy and with fond memories.”

“There certainly is...ice cream cake. It keeps better outside.” Oliver waited for his joke to land, which it did...like a bomb on Marlene. Bradford looked over at his wife and then quickly back at  Oliver. 

“Ahhh...Ha! Man after my own heart. Samuel never told us you were a comedian.” 

Marlene said to herself, because he’s not.

[glowingjunmyeon]

Lost and Found (an EXO fanfic) -ch.9

Pairing: Xiumin x Reader

Status: Ongoing

Warnings: Language

Summary: Marion’s life was going perfectly well before it had fell apart. She had moved out from her family’s house to New York City almost a year ago to attend her dream college. She had gotten a small job and had a great group of friends to keep her happy. Then everything went downhill the moment she found out that her father had died. What made it worse was the fact that her father’s bank account was mysteriously empty, leaving her and her family completely broke. Marion suddenly didn’t have any time to go to college anymore or even grieve her father’s death as she thrown into working multiple jobs to support her family. Her happy college days were gone, instead replaced with working at a Chicken restaurant during the day and serving people drinks at a bar by night. It wasn’t until a rather handsome man walks through the Bar doors that lightens things up in her life. He’s attractive, charming and likable-everything a girl would want in a man-until he does something that leaves her never wanting to see him again...but he still wants to see her. Sometimes you live with memories that you wish you could forget, but not always regret.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 |  Chapter 12 | Chapter 13

       Marion jogged up to the doors of the Bar. She bent down and placed her hands on her knees for a moment to catch her breath. She looked at the puff of white smoke-like air come out of her mouth as the chilliness of winter air blew over the city. She looked at the crowds of people walking on the sidewalks, they were all wearing hats and-rather stylish-sweaters. She frowned as she remembered that she had left her hat in Kyungsoo’s car. She hadn’t been able to ask him about it either because she didn’t see him at the Chirping Chicken today. She had arrived late to work since she had woke up this afternoon in Minseok’s penthouse and had had breakfast with his bandmates.

Marion swung open the door of the bar and turned on all the lights. She sighed in relief at the warmth that enveloped the bar once she turned on the heating system. She had already received a very angry voicemail from her boss for having missed last night’s Bar shift. She had called him to try explain that it had been a family emergency but he acted as if he didn’t hear her. She was very tempted to yell at him saying ‘When does the Bar get customers anyway?!’ but kept her mouth shut for the sake of her monthly payment.

She looked in her purse for a water bottle, her throat felt very dry. It was probably because she had ran all the way from the Chirping Chicken straight to the Bar thinking that her Boss would decide to pay her a visit since he had sounded so angry on the phone-but he didn’t. Thank God. She pulled out an empty water bottle from her purse and threw it hastily into the trash with disdain. She looked up when the door of the Bar opened and Minseok walked in. He was dressed in layers with a grey sweater with a black jacket thrown over it. The hood of his sweater was placed over his head even though he already had a hat on. She blinked, “You’re still going to come here daily?”

Minseok tilted his head as he walked towards her, “Hmmm…yes. But only on the days you work since I finally figured it out-it’s Tuesday, Wednesdays and Thursdays right?”

Her blank gaze confirmed it for him as he nodded, “But-don’t worry. I won’t be coming in as a silent stranger anymore,” He slipped into the seat across from her-his eyes danced with anticipation, “I’ll be coming in as your friend,”

Marion raised a brow as she repeated, “Friend? We-“ She quickly turned her head before sneezing loudly. She grabbed a tissue from the counter and blew her nose. She had been sneezing all day, Jasmine had been close to sending her home.

Minseok was standing beside his seat, placing the tissues he had just pulled out of his pocket back in. “You have a cold?” he asked, concerned.

Marion shook her head, throwing her tissue in the bin before rubbing some hand sanitizer between her hands. “No.”

Minseok pointed at his nose, “Your nose is red,” He squinted, leaning closer as if inspecting her nose, “Are you Rudolph the red nosed reindeer?”

She rolled her eyes, stepping back, “That was very corny.”

Then she sneezed loudly again with no warning. He handed her a tissue and she took it, blowing her nose with a deep sigh. He was serious when she looked at him. She said, “I’m fine-really.”

His voice was firm when he replied, “No-you’re not,” He reached his hand out and touched her forehead with the back of his hand. She pulled back a little too late, “What are you doing?” she asked.

His eyes were wide as he retreated his hand, “My god-you’re burning up-What did you do?”

She pressed her hand to her forehead, “No, I’m not? I’m fine,”

He walked around the counter and removed her hand from over her forehead. “You’re not going to be able to feel it,”

She furrowed her brows, “What’s your problem,” she muttered. She didn’t want to face the consequences of being sick-even missing a day of work was risky considering that she on the rocks with both of her jobs.

He frowned slightly as he muttered, “I knew we shouldn’t have stayed in the snow too long yesterday.”

A flash of last night passed through her head of when she had been twirling during the first snowfall outside the hospital. She also remembered giving someone a hug-but she didn’t want to think about that. She crossed her arms, “What-do you regret that now?”

He replied instantly, “No.” His uniquely shaped eyes looked at her intently for a moment.

She blinked, suddenly flustered at what she had just asked, “I-I don’t know what I was talking about,” she mumbled, looking away from him. Her hand went to her neck as she swallowed, it was feeling more dry and scratchy by the minute. She walked towards the back room, “I need a water bottle,” She didn’t want to get the water from the Bar area because that was sparkled water. She could hear his footsteps follow her slowly. She grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and drank it so fast that she had choked. Minseok rubbed her back and held her still as she coughed loudly sending her body in a fit. The choked cough later turned in a regular-when you are sick-type of cough. He rubbed her back and looked at her with a slightly worried expression. Once her racking coughs had ended she ran a hand through her hair and looked at him through half open eyes, her voice low and slightly hoarse, “You can stop rubbing my back now,”

Minseok dropped his hand and stepped back, “You can’t work today.”

Her head snapped up to his, “I just choked-that wasn’t a sick cough.”

He stated, “Yeah, but it turned into one didn’t it?”

She clenched her jaws together as she couldn’t think of a reply to that. He was right. She sighed, looking away from him as she ran her hands through her hair. “I hate being sick,” she muttered.

He nodded, “Don’t we all. Now let me drop you off home.”

She frowned, looking at him doubtfully for a moment. He understood her look and sighed before saying, “You can’t work like this. You’re going to spread germs everywhere. You won’t be helping anyone.”

She was still for a moment before her shoulders sagged in defeat, “Ahhggahh-why did this have to happen now?” she whined before walking out of the back room. She heard Minseok close it behind her. She grabbed her purse and made a face before texting her boss that she wouldn’t be able to work today-he was going to find out anyway due to the camera he had installed in the bar. She sent the text before looking up to see Minseok adjusting is hat and hood on his head.

He raised a brow, “Ready?”

She nodded, replying dully, “Yeah.”

His eyes widened, “You don’t have a hat-or a coat?”

She squinted, “I didn’t have time to change this morning. I ran straight from your penthouse to my job.”

His eyes widened even more, “You ran without a hat or a coat in this cold weather?!”

She hated it when others said her mistakes aloud. She denied it-even though it was obvious she was lying, “What-no.”

He shook his head, “God I can’t believe you-no wonder you’re sick.”

“You might want to stay away from me or else you’ll get sick too,” she retorted with a slight wry smile.

He slipped his hood down and removed his hat and handed it to her. She eyed it warily before finally taking it and slipping over her head. He shook his head as he put his hood up again. She walked with him out of the Bar back into the cold packed streets of New York City.

             She placed her hand on her apartment’s doorknob before turning around and looking at Minseok. She smiled tightly, “Thank you for dropping me off all the way to my apartment door when you really didn’t have to.”

Minseok looked down and shrugged, “Your welcome.”

She nodded slightly before looking at him for a second. He seemed to hovering. She spoke quietly, “Bye.”

He looked at her, “Feel better.”

She smiled a bit before opening the door and slipping inside her apartment.

             She stepped out of the bathroom tying up her hair in a-rather messy-bun. The first thing she had done when Minseok had dropped her off to her apartment was take a long warm shower. She had been craving one all day. She sniffled slightly before making her way to her kitchen. She knew that she had to eat up if she wanted her sickness to go away fast. She opened her fridge to find it empty, except for a half full gallon of milk. She blinked before swearing aloud. She sucked at doing groceries-sucked at overall taking care of herself. She slammed the fridge before walking over to the medicine cabinet, which was occupied by a box of band aids and Advil. She pouted, Now what? She really didn’t feel like walking outside to the supermarket across the street but it looked like she had no other choice. She looked down at her sweatpants and over-sized orange t-shirt. She debated changing before deciding that she would grab her coat and go. She headed to bedroom to get coat before stopping mid-way when she heard a knock on her apartment door.

She frowned before walking over to the door hesitantly, she was pretty sure that she was not expecting any guests. She grabbed the golf stick that she had placed by the door for safety reasons before opening the door a crack. “Who is it?”

“It’s me,” came the voice of a breathless Minseok. She opened the door wider before looking at him with furrowed brows. “What are you doing here?” she asked in complete shock.

He adjusted his hold on the multiple boxes in his arms, “Sorry-I meant to come back faster. But-you know how bad the traffic here is.”

She scoffed slightly, not believing it “What?” Her eyes dropping to the boxes in his hands, they smelled amazing. They smelled delicious enough to make her mouth water. He followed her gaze, “It’s Mexican food. Can I put this down somewhere?”

She blinked, still shocked as she moved aside to let him in. She still didn’t get why he was here. He ran past her inside and placed the boxes onto the kitchen counter. “God-those were heavy.” He said, shaking out his arms before placing another bag on the counter. She closed the door before turning to look at him. “What is all of this?”

He looked at her, “I knew that you probably didn’t eat dinner yet and I bet you didn’t have anything in your fridge so I got some food and medicine from the supermarket-just in case you didn’t have any cold medicine. Oh-and I also brought 2 boxes of Mexican food so you could eat the other one for breakfast or something since-trust me-one box is good enough for two people.”

She stepped up to the kitchen slowly, watching him place one of the boxes into the fridge like he’d been living here his whole life. She looked at the packs of medicine he had brought and reached out to take one but he quickly pulled them out of her reach. “Nope-not yet. You should always drink medicine after eating or drinking something.”

She scoffed slightly as she watched him open through her drawers in the kitchen until he finally found the medicine cabinet and placed all the medicine he got in there. He looked at her, “Can you put channel 92 on?” He said, motioning with his chin to her TV.

She blinked, “What-why?”

He placed the box of Mexican food into the microwave. “Because it got cold in the car, there is no way I’m going to make you eat cold food considering that you have a cold yourself-” He looked at her flustered expression and cut himself off, “Oh, you weren’t asking about that. Channel 92 because the soccer game is coming on right now and I don’t want to miss it.”

She shook her head, “No, Minseok. I want to know why you’re here,”

He looked at her quietly for a moment before saying, “I’m here to help you,” He paused hesitantly-seeing her eyes furrow. He quickly added, “-get rid of that cold as soon as possible. It can’t possibly be good for you to go to work and college every day and be sick. Just relax and let someone help you out-you need it.”

At the mention of college her heart plummeted and she felt guilt swirl up inside of her. She was suddenly afraid of saying anything, not wanting to her voice to come out choked and small. She nodded-too distracted to be worried about Minseok anymore as she plopped down onto the couch. She grabbed a pillow and pressed it against her stomach before curling up in herself. He watched her for a couple seconds in surprise, Did she actually listen to me?

She grabbed the remote-still maintaining her curled up position and browsed through the channels-wanting to think about anything but college. A couple minutes later, Minseok appeared with two paper plates and cups, placing them on the mini wood coffee table that was in the middle of the living room. She sat up straight, watching him-she wasn’t used to having anyone in her apartment-especially setting up tables. He placed the box of the Mexican food in the middle of the table before looking at her, “You alright?”

She nodded, sliding down to sit on the ground in front of the coffee table, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He furrowed his brows, “Now that is one big lie. I’ve heard enough women talking to know that they don’t mean that one bit.”

She couldn’t help but a crack a smile slightly as she said, “Nooooo, I’m really fine. You see.” She pasted a wide fake smile on her face.

His eyebrows went up, “That has to be the fakest smile I have ever seen.”

She laughed, “Shut up.”

He smiled before putting some of the chicken and rice on her plate. “Woa, woa, woa,” she said, looking at how much he had piled onto it. “That’s way too much.”

He eyed her in shock, “What?-This? No, it isn’t.” he said, incredulously.

She nodded, “Yea-it is.”

He squinted, “How small of a portion do you eat?”

She used her fork to split the pile of rice on her plate in half and pointed on one side. “That’s my portion.”

His eyes widened, “That’s it? No wonder you’re so small.”

She jumped up, acting as if she was going to throw the fork at him as she yelled, “HEY!”

He backed away, laughing, “I was joking-just joking. Calm down.”

She glared at him before sitting down again, pouring herself some water into the cup that he had set on the table. He spoke, “Just eat as much as you can-I bet you $10 that the food will be so good that you’ll be able to finish it.”

She raised a brow, “I guess we’ll have to see.”

She ate a forkful of rice and it really was good. The chicken tasted amazing and the sauce that came with the chicken made the food 10x better. She watched him eating it too, and could tell that he really liked it himself. He placed his plate down to grab another water bottle and drink from it. He glanced at the TV and saw a phone commercial coming on before he turned to look back at Marion, snapping his fingers. “Oh! I forgot to give this to you.”

He slipped his hand into his pant pocket and pulled out her phone. She gasped taking it from his hand and turning it on to see that it worked and the screen was fixed. She looked at him in awe, “You fixed it?”

He smiled slightly, “Ah-not myself. I got it fixed from one of the electronic repair stores nearby. I gave it to him last night and I picked it up this afternoon. And you should put a password on your phone-anyone could go through it.”

She squinted, “Did you?”

He shook his head, “Nope.” When he saw her doubtful expression he added, “I really didn’t!” Then he added after a moment, “Instead of doubting me shouldn’t you be thanking me for fixing it?”

She furrowed her brows, “All you want are thank yous. You never give me a chance not to say thank you. You’re your always there when I’m in an emergency-Literally like when you knocked on my door I was going to head out to get some medicine and food for myself and then there you are with exactly food and medicine.”

He laughed, looking a bit red in the cheeks. She made a face before eating another spoonful of rice. He looked at her, his voice calm, “Did you call your mom today?”

Marion nodded, “Yeah, I used Jasmine’s phone since mine was missing. She’s still in the hospital.”

He asked, “How is she doing?”

She replied a bit slowly, “Um-She’s doing better. She can’t move too much yet due to her surgery aftereffects but the hospital is going to provide her with a physical therapist to help her get her legs moving again.”

He nodded, “That’s good. That’s good. And your brothers?”

She smiled slightly-it was weird for her to know that he now knew all her family, “They went back to school. You know-living with my Mom’s friend. Mom said they were mad that we didn’t say goodbye.”

He replied, curiously, “We?”

She gave him a look, “Yeah, surprisingly they liked you.”

He chuckled slightly, “They love my car, you know?”

She made a face, “You just wanted to show it off.”

He ran a hand through his jet black wavy hair, sliding his hood off in the process, “Nooo, you were the one who told me I should show them it.”

“Yeah, well that was because I didn’t want them to become depressed while waiting for Mom.” She quickly faced away from her food and him to sneeze. She reached out to grab a tissue from the table and he handed it to her. She blew her nose and then looked back at him, “Dammit.”

He smiled slightly, “Don’t worry about it. It’ll go away once you get some sleep and medicine.”

She nodded, “I hope so, I need to go to work tomorrow.”

He stated, “If you’re still sick tomorrow you shouldn’t go anywhere, just stay home. You’ll only weaken yourself if you over work your body.”

She looked distractedly at the edge of her fork as she replied, “Mhmm.”

They both continued eating and he reached out to place a piece of his chicken onto her plate. She raised a brow, “Why?”

“You’re sick. You should eat more.” He said, motioning for her to eat it with his fork.

She chuckled, “Your loss.” She said, before picking up the chicken and eating it. He grinned slightly as he watched her do so. He poked around his plate with his fork before saying, “You left early today.”

She raised a brow, unable to speak since she had her mouthful. “Hmm?”

He looked down at his rice, “You know from-my apartment.”

“Penthouse, you mean?” she corrected with a slight squint in her eyes. “Yeah, you were still sleeping when I woke up.”

“You had breakfast with them?” He asked, calmly.

“Yeah.” she said, smiling slightly as she remembered some of their stupidity.

He itched the back of his ear, “If they said…anything stupid-you know-I apologize on their behalf. You really shouldn’t believe anything they-er-say.”

She raised her brows, smiling, “Was there something that they were supposed to say?”

He shook his head, eyes wide, “No-no, I just don’t know if they said anything stupid but since they usually do I just wanted to apologize for them.”

She nodded, “Interesting.”

She could tell he was trying to see if they told her anything but she made sure her face was as passive as ever. Her eyes widened, “Oh-they told me something that I didn’t know about you before-“

“What?” he said, his eyes eager. “Tell me.”

She bit the inside of her cheek to hold in her laughter, “Calm down. Calm down. They didn’t say anything. You should trust your friends more.”

He shook his head, “If you knew what those boys were like you wouldn’t trust them.”

She smiled slightly, as she imagined telling that guy-Baekhyun, was it?-a secret. She couldn’t imagine him keeping it in for more than a day before yelling it aloud for the world to hear.

“What is it?” Minseok asked, his eyes searching her face, “Why are you smiling like that?”

She chuckled slightly, “What-I can’t even smile now?”

Minseok looked doubtful, “It was a suspicious smile though. Like you knew you were thinking something…stupid.”

She shook her head, chuckling slightly, “Minseok, I need to sleep and I think that you have overstayed your welcome.”

“What? But-“he said as she stood up, he looked up at her. She reached down and took his hands, pulling him up. “Are you kicking me out?” he asked.

“Yes.” She said, pulling him towards the door.

“Is it because I asked why you were smiling?” He asked, shocked.

She laughed, shaking her head, “No-no, it’s because it’s almost 11 o clock and I have to wake up early tomorrow.”

She pulled open her apartment’s front door and tried to push him out but he turned around. “Let me at least help you clean up-“

She tugged his jacket and pulled him out, “No-no-no, thank you. You’ve done enough for today, Bye.”

But before she could shut the door his hand blocked her, “Wait, wait-don’t forget to drink your medicine every 4 hours. Set an alarm on your phone or something so you don’t forget.”

“Okay, okay. I got it. Thanks. Bye-“she tried closing the door once more but he held his hand out again.

“What now?” she asked.

“Oh-by the way-you finished your plate!” She could hear the smile in his voice as he added, “You owe me 10 bucks!”

“Bye!” She yelled, before shutting the door with a wide smile on her face.

Tbh I have no idea how this chapter turned out this way but I hoped you guys liked it. Tell meeee your opinions pleaseeeee. This chapter felt nice to write-I was actually going to make it longer but I guess I wanted to end things on a light note this time. Marion deserves a little bit happiness after all the life struggles she having right now, don’t you think? Lets see how long it lasts. Sending my love & happiness to all of you :3

[soulmatesjjp]

70 Questions

Thank you @pinkhoodiemark for tagging me in this. I usually get so lazy to do challenges and this one was soooooo long but it’s kinda nice to reflect on some of these ☺️ also I’m pretty sure Emili has tagged me in at least one other challenge before and I wanna fulfill at least one thing she tags me in ✨

this is pretty long so if you really wanna get to know me you can read more under the cut

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? it’s 50/50 we have our good moments and our very bad moments but sadly, even tho I’m an adult now, things haven’t changed.

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? my pets are pretty much the only ones I’m comfortable saying ‘i love you’ to. I say it to my cat Cloud the most.

3. do you regret anything?

Yes, lots of personal things. Lately I regret my major and not putting more effort in college.

4. are you insecure?

Like everyone I have insecurities but I try not to dwell on them or let them affect me cus I know that they’re insignificant and not worth it. Doesn’t mean I don’t think of them from time to time.

5. what’s your relationship status?

Very single, mostly because I’m not comfortable opening up to people and I’m still kinda struggling with my ‘identity’

6. how do you want to die? the most painless way possible? i don’t...really think about how i wanna die tbh

7. what did you last eat? some store bought chocolate cake I’ve been eating almost everyday 😬 I really need to stop, it’s not healthy

8. played any sports? no, never. i am very very unathletic. idk how i ever managed to run those 12 min miles in high school

9. do you bite your nails? not now but i did a lot as a little kid

10. when was your last physical fight? i’m not much of a fighter but most likely it was a fight with my sister or maybe my mom (don’t worry it wasn’t too rough) years ago

11. do you like someone?

define ‘like’

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

i don’t think so, i think maybe 36 hours would be my limit

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? at the moment no, though I usually don’t feel hate towards people

14. do you miss someone?

i miss the company of someones

15. have any pets?

i have two cats, Maxx (an old lady) and Cloud (my soon to be 3 year old bby) and my sister has a yorkie Oakley (a terrorizer who won’t leave me alone) but since she’s hardly ever home and I’m always taking care of him he’s practically mine

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment? i feel like I probably sound like a robot throughout all this, sorry I can’t express emotion unless it’s in all caps

17. ever made out in the bathroom? nope 

18. are you scared of spiders? regular daddy long legs are fine but anything bigger than that get it away from me

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I want to say yes because there are things I really really regret that especially affect other ppl but I feel like what’s in the past is in the past and I probably shouldn’t mess with it

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? no comment

21. what are your plans for this weekend? no plans!! my life is so boring since a bunch of my friends joined the military and moved away and some of my college friends have moved on with their life and I hardly see them anymore 😭 (i still have friends they’re just as boring as me)

22. do you want to have kids? how many? not really, i kinda fear having a tiny human growing inside me and giving birth to it. i think if i ever were to have children I’d rather adopt but even that sounds like a big commitment I might never be ready for

23. do you have piercings? how many? my ears have been pierced since I was a baby and I haven’t worn earrings in over 10 years but the holes never filled in

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? I was always good at english cus I was good at reading and bullshitting essays

25. do you miss anyone from your past? man, ok there was this one guy/friend who I always clicked with and we were kinda on and off for years but never dated and I haven’t seen him in a few years and I’ve kinda moved on but I still think about him cus we live in the same town and he has a really common face so so many guys I see look like him

26. what are you craving right now? guidance? an epiphany? motivation?

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart? maybe? I don’t know I would really say I broke their heart maybe not that severe...it wasn’t my fault ok I never lead anyone on

28. have you ever been cheated on? Nope.

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? nope.

30. what’s irritating you right now? the fact that I finally found an installation of photoshop that works but I can’t download it because apple sucks and won’t let me download apps unless it’s from the apple store/one of their developers!!!! 😤😤😤 I refuse to pay a monthly fee for photoshop that’s ridiculous I’m not made of money.

31. does somebody love you? 2 of my pets love me for sure

32. what is your favourite color? Blue

33. do you have trust issues? Probably I don’t fully trust people easily but I’m still friendly with them

34. who/what was your last dream about? I honestly don’t remember I wish I did

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? oh man I cried at work on Valentine’s Day cus we were unexpectedly crazy busy (you can’t even understand how busy) and it was just really stressful for me cus it was only me and another girl handling customer service and she got to leave early (she was a champ idk how she kept a smile on her face even when she left) and there was this especially rude lady I was on the phone with who just wouldn’t stop talking and pretty much blaming me so when the call ended I ducked down behind the counter and cried a little from all the stress (that lady was just the final straw) and I’m sure most if not all my co-workers saw

36. do you give out second chances too easily? I think so cus I don’t really hold grudges I’m too soft that way, but no one’s ever fucked up so bad they really needed a second chance with me

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? for me it’s easier to forgive cus like I said I can’t hold grudges for longer than a day.

38. is this year the best year of your life? definitely not I need to figure lots of things out and do some stuff to get my life on track

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? i’m pretty sure I kissed dumb boys when I was a little kid but after that I think I was 18

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked?

hell no

51. favourite food?

i love all kinds of food: tacos, tortas, french fries, birria, fishcake, bulgogi, bulgogi fries, actual good ramen. I can’t name just one fave

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? I used to think that saying was so stupid but lately the way I’ve seen some things happen I’m starting to believe a little in fate

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched Brooklyn nine nine

54. is cheating ever okay? NO NEVER, unless you’re cheating on some dumb high school quiz I mean it’s not really ok but I won’t judge you

55. are you mean? I think I can definitely be both nice and an asshole to the same people and I’m sorry...

56. how many people have you fist fought? my siblings when I was a kid so 2

57. do you believe in true love? i believe most of us might never get to experience it but there are a lucky few who get to feel it

58. favourite weather? california autumn/winter cus it’s cold but not really freezing

59. do you like the snow? no it’s cold and wet, no thanks

60. do you wanna get married? eh not really

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? asdfgh I don’t think I’d like any nickname like that

62. what makes you happy? good food, good company, cuddling with my pets, casually hanging out with my friends, and both got7 and monsta x especially their variety shows

63. would you change your name?

never, I like my name  

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

I can’t even remember the last person I kissed so idk

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Try to politely reject them and pretend it never happened so we can continue being friends. Maybe keep my distance from him to give him time to get over it but make sure he knows we’re still friends. And maybe not hang out with him one on one for a while.

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah, most of my friends are guys and I can be myself around them but I don’t tell them everything about me

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my brother

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I don’t remember but it must have been during one of the occasions I was drunk and in college and opened up to one of my friends and we probably got really personal.

69. do you believe in soulmates? JJP ARE SOULMATES!!! they don’t have to ever get together but you can’t learn about their history and tell me they’re not soulmates (at least platonically) but honestly I strongly believe a strong force like fate brought all of got7 from 4 different countries together. So many trainees get switched around from company to company and either never debut or it takes them 7+ years but with GOT7 they debuted under their first company and their average training period lasted around 3 years. BamBam almost didn’t debut with them because JYP thought he was too young until YG’s show did an episode at JYPE. Youngjae would have never debuted if he didn’t practice and practice and continue auditioning for JYP. I could go on and on but in the end I truly believe jjp are soulmates and got7 are soulmates.

70. is there anyone you would die for? um idk maybe my family and pets but don’t hold me to that

I feel like a lot of my mutuals aren’t really on tumblr any more :// so I’ll tag a few who are still active @katbeom @yubgam @husbandsjjp (I haven’t seen you around in a while either!!)

[falconerelectronics]

Snow Day Activities- FEI’s Top 10

Are you like us and live in an area where winter lasts ¾ of the year while summer lasts 3 days? Do you need a way to entertain yourself and your family when there is snow past your knees? We have some of the best Snow Day entertainment ideas right here for you! We have given each activity a Risk Level and a Fun Level. These may help you decide which is the right activity for you!

Sledding/ Tubing

Risk Level: 2 Fun Level: 9-10

Yes, we know everyone that has ever lived anywhere with snow knows about Sledding and Tubing. However, that is exactly why it needs to be on our list! You don’t mess with a classic family time event.

What are the dangers of Sledding? Why is its Risk Level a 2 and not a 1? Well, there is always the possibility of falling off of your sled. There is also the possibility of outside forces derailing you off of your sled. Like pets. Dogs love to chase things. Sleds are no different. However, if this does happen there is fluffy snow to catch you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJxPs_WvmOM

Building a Snowman

Risk Level: 3 Fun Level: 9

Do you want to build a Snowman? Ok, now you have that song stuck in your head. Apologies. Anyone with small children has been asked this question. As soon as there is snow on the ground Snowmen are usually one of the first thoughts. Even in the Southern states when they get more than an inch, the first thing people want to do is go out and create Frosty look-a-likes.

What're the risks of creating these round beings? Well, depending on how large you roll your snow, there is a risk of hurting yourself while lifting the pieces into place. Also, who hasn’t had the intent to build a snowman and it turned into a snowball fight? However, we are getting ahead of ourselves. Therefore, we will discuss the risks of that activity coming up.

Why didn’t we give this classic a full 10 for a fun level? Any parent who has had the intention of building a Snowman with their children knows that about halfway through the process the kids are no longer invested. They get cold and want to go inside. Also, they suddenly have to go to the bathroom. Therefore, you as the responsible parent, who thought this would be a great memory, are left finishing the Snowman alone. You could just leave a half-finished Snowman. However, every time you look outside and see two giant snowballs just sitting in your yard you will think about how you didn’t finish it.

Snowball Fights

Risk Level: 9-10 Fun Level: 7-8

Snowball fights can be some of the most fun kids or adults can have in winter. They can also be the most dangerous. In movies, you always see these light fluffy snowballs that explode in a puff on contact. Real life snowballs are not like this.

The best snowballs come from the perfect snow. Here we call it “packing snow”. Why packing snow? Due to its consistency packing snow holds together perfectly for creating snowballs and other snow creations. It is sturdier than the light fluffy snow that gets blown about by a strong breeze. However, because of this sturdy nature packing snow can cause some issues.

The risk of a snowball fight with the perfect packing snow is pretty high. Think about getting hit in the face with a solid ball of snow. That is what packing snow is like. Also, if you hold it in your hands a few extra seconds while smoothing it out it can start to solidify almost like ice. Not that anyone would ever intentionally throw an ice ball… especially not at their older siblings… especially not after they had just been pelted in the back of the head. No one would do that on purpose…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NgnWyVmAQE

Snow Day Maze

Risk level: 2 Fun Level: 7-8

A Snow Maze is the safer alternative to a Snow Fort. Unfortunately, Snow Forts have a tendency to collapse and can cause serious injury. However, a Snow Maze is just pathways and if they fall over you may just get snow in your boots.

You can get the entire family involved in this activity. You can all create different paths and follow them to reach each other. Also, you can each have your own style of path. One person can use a shovel. Another can just use their footprints. A more motivated person can crawl and create their pathways. A Snow Maze can lead to hours of outdoor fun creating paths and trying to track them to a final goal.

What are the risks of a Snow Maze? Like we mentioned before, you may get snow in your boots causing your feet to be wet and cold. Also, if you don’t have boots on and the snow is deep enough you will for sure end up with cold wet feet. Another risk is the actual creation of the paths. If you are using a shovel to dig out the paths you could pull a muscle just like if you are shoveling your driveway or sidewalk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU-XcBjtqE4

Snow Day Scavenger Hunt

Risk Level: 1 Fun Level: 7-8

What’s a better way to enjoy a snow day than with a Scavenger Hunt? Next time you are out at the store, pick up some low-priced toys that can withstand the cold and dampness of snow. You could also use toys you already have on hand. While the kids are napping or involved in other activities head outside and start hiding the toys in the snow. It’s like an egg hunt but in the snow. I know some people reading this are thinking we’ve had egg hunts in the snow where I live. If that is the case then you know how this works. However, the only thing to remember is to know your age group. If you have small children make sure their prizes are hiding so they can find them.

Another idea is to create a treasure map. It can include clues that need to be solved and, in the end, they receive one larger prize. Some ideas for a final prize could be cookies and hot cocoa. Another idea could be a movie and snacks. If you have older and younger kids this could be a good experience for them to work together.

*Sometimes the temperature is too cold to be playing outside. In those cases, you need to come up with something to entertain the family. This idea can also be easily transferred to be done indoors. The use of clues or a map is suggested for indoor scavenger hunts.*

Snow Angels

Risk Level: 2 Fun Level: 7-8

Another classic that made our list is Snow Angels. This is another activity that is fun for the entire family. Also, you can get creative. After the Snow Angels are made you can give them different personalities by drawing faces or coloring them.

How can you color a Snow Angel or any other snow creation? The easiest way is to take water in a spray bottle or other type of bottle with a squirt lid and mix in a few drops of food coloring. This mixture can be used on Snow Angels, Snowmen, or any other snow creature you and your family can create.

Why is there a risk level at all for Snow Angels? Have you ever tried to get up out of the snow while wearing layers, boots, and gloves? Many face plants have occurred. Also, without some help, the Snow Angels could get disfigured.

Snow Day Ice-cream

Risk Level: 2 Fun Level: 7 Tasty Level: 10+

Have you ever had Snow Day Ice-Cream? Now is the time to try it. With three ingredients and a little bit of time, you can enjoy some freshly made Snow Day Ice-Cream. This is a tasty treat for a snowy day.

What are the dangers? Brain Freeze. If you eat anything cold too fast you will get that flash of a headache that will travel through your entire body. It is recommended to take smaller bites to prevent this.

Why is the Fun Level at just over middle level? Everyone knows that eating Ice-Cream is the best part. However, with this recipe, you get the hands-on experience of making it as well. Some people enjoy that. Others, however, are left asking if it is ready to attack with their spoon yet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRN-1rhbEV0

Snow Cones

Risk Level: 2 Fun Level: 8 Tasty Level: 9-10

Much like the above Snow Day Ice-Cream, Snow Cones use snow as their main ingredient. These simple treats have been a staple at carnivals and festivals during the summer. However, most do not think about having them in the winter. Why wait until summer to have a tasty chilly treat?

All you need to do is gather enough clean snow and put it into ice-cream cones or another cup. You can add your own food coloring or flavoring. Get creative by mixing different flavors or decorating with the food coloring. However, like the Snow Ice-Cream, there is the risk of brain freeze. Eat them slowly and enjoy!

Snow Day Bowling

Risk Level: 2 Fun Level: 8-9

On a cold snow day, you can create your own bowling lane outside in the snow! All you need to do is flatten down and smooth out, like ice, a level straight path. At the end of the path, you can line up used plastic bottles or other standing objects. If you are using plastic bottles you may want to put some water or loose change in them so they won’t blow over due to the wind. Take any ball that is heavy enough to knock over what you lined up at the end. You could even use snowballs! You can also create score charts just like the real things and come up with fun nicknames for everyone.

What are the risks of ice bowling? The same as regular bowling only with the added elements of snow and cold. If you are playing with highly competitive people there could be some frustrations just like the real game.

Ice Skating

Risk Level: 5 Fun Level: 9-10

Ice Skating can be a fun activity for the entire family. They have devices so that even young children are able to skate without fear of falling down. Depending on how talented you are you may be able to perform tricks or routines while on the ice. This can be both fun for yourself and for anyone who is there to see them.

The risks are medium for this activity due to the dangers of falling and getting injured. Anyone who has ever slipped on a patch of ice can tell you that it is not a fun experience. However, with Ice Skating you know you will be on the smooth surface and can be prepared to steady yourself. This can be a great opportunity to teach younger children a new activity and get some exercise as well. Also, afterward you can have hot cocoa which is always a crowd pleaser.

[basicbrilliance]

I dare you to answer all 70 of those questions!!!

I waited so long to do this whoever sent this probably doesn’t remember. But I’m bored enough to answer so:

01:Do you have a good relationship with your parents? With my mom, yes. Dad, no.            

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? Likely my little sister. She’s young so lots of affirmation and what not.              

03: Do you regret anything? Plenty of things. Simple things like quitting ballet as early as I did to some of the things I said (or didn’t say). Lots of things I never said.             

04:Are you insecure? Yes. The degree varies daily, but at my core, yes.         05: What is your relationship status? Single by a large margin.             

06: How do you want to die?  Idk, naturally?             

07: What did you last eat? Two minutes ago. It started off really good and then I realized it was just because I was really hungry.               

08: Played any sports? I played tennis like forever ago. I quit because I didn’t like the coach. Never went back.              

09: Do you bite your nails? Yeah, but that varies. I try to keep my nails painted so that I don’t.              

10: When was your last physical fight? Never and let’s hope it stays that way.              

11: Do you like someone? No, but there is this guy that I see on a semi-regular basis who I find like crazy attractive. Never spoke to him. I don’t even know his name.              

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? I don’t think so, but if I did I certainly wouldn’t remember by that point.              

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? I try not to hate anyone.               

14: Do you miss someone?  I miss a lot of people. Some of them know it. Some never will.             

15: Have any pets?  I have a cute little wacky turtle and it’s the best pet. I don’t know why.             

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Worried (but no elaboration on why).              

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? Nope              

18: Are you scared of spiders? Yes. They need to stay away.              

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes, but not that far. Just back enough to fix things, knowing what I know now. I would just go back, four or five years.              

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? In my dreams               21: What are your plans for this weekend? Idk it’s Monday; I don’t plan that far in advance.              

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? Yeah, but I have no idea on the number.              

23: Do you have piercings? How many? Just in my ears; two in one, three in the other. I’m content.              

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Psychology (that’s what my degree is in so I’m assuming that means I’m good in it). I was surprisingly good with history despite overall not enjoying it. It was better my last two years of college because I had better professors.               25: Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah, but I’ve also accepted that I likely won’t see them again or know what’s going on with them. It happens, especially at the age I am no.              

26: What are you craving right now? Chocolate cake, which I don’t often want. I’m also craving a hug, but I don’t have anyone available for that.              

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don’t know, but I hope not.                28: Have you ever been cheated on? No, you’d have to date someone for that to work. I know. I’ve seen it on TV.             

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?  See above.             

30: What’s irritating you right now? I would say the current president, but that’s just an obvious one, right? Umm...my computer is kind of annoying me because it can’t get the “Sleep” mode and “Shut Down” mode thing right. So that’s annoying. The fact that I don’t have Spotify Premium. NBC coverage and monopoly of winter sports.        

31: Does somebody love you? Yes, plenty of people.              

32: What is your favourite color? Blue; Usually the darker, more muted shades              

33: Do you have trust issues? Yes and no. Part of that is because I sometimes don’t even trust myself.               

34: Who/what was your last dream about? I don’t know, based on the last dream I had. No clue who the guy was. I think he’s been in a few of my dreams before, but no recognition. This time I was in California, despite never having a desire to go there.  

             35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? A friend of mine several months ago. I don’t like crying in front of people and actively work to avoid it.               

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? Well I’ve been told that I’m too nice and that I should be more verbal about what’s bothering me - so yeah, probably.              

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? Forgive              

38: Is this year the best year of your life? Well it’s still January so the jury is still out on that; probably not though.              

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? Still hasn’t happened so hopefully 22/23. (I’m actually gonna be 23 fairly soon, so let’s just be honest and say hopefully 23. Actually, let’s be realistic - maybe 24 or 25.)              

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Nah, not my style.      Did you notice that this goes from 40 to 51? Sooo...not 70 questions then?

         51: Favourite food? I love seafood, I love pasta. So I guess it’s seafood pasta.              

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? I do, but I also get angry if I can’t find the reason.              

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? I looked at Yuri!!! on Ice headcanons because I have a problem.

               54: Is cheating ever okay? What a loaded question. I can see that being something that’s easier to justify when the cheater is in a relationship with a jerk, but at the same time, it’s like, just dump the jerk.                 55: Are you mean? I don’t think I am, but I’ve also been told that I can be when it’s not seen as justifiable. I guess as mean as most people are.               

56: How many people have you fist fought? None. Nor do I plan on it.               57: Do you believe in true love? Oh yeah. I’m a romantic.               

58: Favourite weather? Warm with a breeze. Like mid-70s. Spring time, basically.              

59: Do you like the snow? Yeah. I mean it doesn’t really snow here, but it’s pretty to watch it and the first day that it’s out there. I like it as long as I don’t have to deal with it.               

60: Do you wanna get married? I do. (Sorry, that was cheesy).               

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Ask me again when someone does that.              

62: What makes you happy? New episodes of TV shows I like. The shows in my top 10. People who have good news about their lives. Dresses. Cupcakes. Blankets. Preferably those last three together.          63: Would you change your name? No, but there was a time that I really wanted to since my name is kinda common. But one time my best friend’s grandma said it was pretty and I thought, “Huh, yeah, it kinda is.”              

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Well I’d have to kiss them the first time.              

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Live my life. I don’t have time for contrived drama.              

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Just one, who I’ve known since we were babies. I don’t have any of friends of the opposite sex that I’m legitimately close to.               67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? Probably someone working at a store that I awkwardly had to make small talk with.              

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?  My mom             

69: Do you believe in soulmates? Yeah, go look at the true love question.                70: Is there anyone you would die for? My mom and my sister, easily.

[jkdavidson-blog]

Standing Rock Recap Part III (12/20-12/23)

Tuesday 20 December 2016

 The Tylenol I took the night before took the edge off my headache enough that I was able to sleep for a few hours at a time, between coughing fits. I took them every 4 hours throughout the day to stay comfortable enough to function even minimally. I was actually feeling significantly better than the day before, due in part to prayers and well-wishes from my friends and in part to the Tylenol keeping my pain and feverishness at bay.

I stuck around the casino all day again but at least managed to get out of my room a couple of times. I played the slot machines for a bit, in honor of my friend Harold who had described his lucky 7-7-7 system to me over the phone on my drive up to North Dakota. I played $21 and won a $17 or $18, so it wasn’t a total loss. I also stopped by the wellness room, which had downsized and moved since my last visit. Lakshmi was still there. She gave me a little wellness package with vitamin C and Holy Basil supplements, Alphay mushroom tea and mushroom coffee, and some Ricola cough drops. She also gifted me a bowl of brothy soup she had just made. It had kabocha squash, mushrooms, carrots, and sweet potatoes in it, and although I couldn’t really taste somehow it was still the most delicious thing I’d eaten in days.

Overall I was feeling pretty optimistic about my health, until I noticed that evening that my eyes were looking pretty red and felt kind of itchy. They were oozing that same color discharge that was coming out of my nose and throat, so at first I dismissed it as overflow from my sinuses. But then it dawned on me that the drainage was becoming excessive, crusting my eyelashes together, and the redness and burning could very well signify pink eye. WHY was this happening now?! I wondered…I hadn’t worn contacts in days and I’d NEVER had pink eye before. But it appeared that I now had it in both eyes.

I laid in bed that night with a cloth over my eyes to keep my lashes from sticking together, wondering if I’d finally have to give up and go see one of the doctors at the rec center in Cannon Ball for antibiotics. Something in my gut told me no, though. So I popped another Tylenol, rinsed my eyes out with contact solution, and googled some natural remedies for pink eye. I knew breast milk was a great remedy, but that wasn’t really an accessible option for me at that point. I remembered a girl from the herbal yurt in Oceti who had come to see us for the same issue, and she had mentioned she was going to use colloidal silver to clear it up. I had seen a bottle on the shelf at Rosebud and made a mental note to get some the next day. I also read that a solution of raw honey and a little sea salt could be used as eye drops every few hours. I boiled some water on the propane stove I used for that sole purpose (all of my food preparation merely required boiled water) and concocted myself a solution according to the recipe I found online: one half cup of water, one half teaspoon of raw honey, and a pinch of sea salt. I thanked my lucky stars I had everything I needed for this remedy. I drew it up in a 10cc syringe I had in my personal first aid kit and dropped some in each eye. It was soothing, if nothing else.

  Wednesday 21 December 2016

 Winter Solstice!

I woke up determined to make it out to camp for a few hours today. Spending Solstice at Standing Rock was among the things I had looked forward to most about this trip, and I was a bit disappointed knowing I was still too ill do much in the way of celebrating.

My eyes were looking less red and felt less irritated, thanks to the honey drops I was using every couple of hours. I was still on a regular dosing schedule of Tylenol, so I hadn’t felt feverish in over 24 hours and my headache was bearable.

I played the slots again that morning—another $21 dollars, plus my winnings (which were squat), because it was the 21st and that felt lucky somehow. At least the money was going to the Standing Rock Sioux who run the casino, I reasoned to myself.

I headed back up to my room and stuffed foot warmers into my boots and hand warmers into my mittens and layered myself in long johns and a skirt with waves printed on it, in honor of the water. I stashed a little tobacco in my fanny pack, hoping to finally visit the sacred fire today to make an offering. I set out for camp around noon, looking forward to being out of the casino and back on the land for a while.

My first stop was Rosebud medical. It was quiet there, as usual. Rachel gave me a little colloidal silver for my eyes and a small bottle of aspirin. She mentioned that they were having a Solstice celebration that evening after dinner but cautioned that I probably shouldn’t come, since I had pink eye. I was disappointed to be excluded, but I also realized I probably wouldn’t have the energy to stick around that late anyway. I sat in the yurt for a while, drinking tea and sanitizing my hands frequently so as not to spread any of my sickness around.

Rachel and I talked about the patients she’d seen, and about one in particular that had recently been sent to the hospital for an infection that Rachel herself hadn’t picked up on. She felt really guilty about this, but I reminded her that nurses are only human and even those of us with a great deal of experience don’t always pick up on every little ailment a person has. I reassured her that, especially for a new nurse, she is doing an incredible job overseeing the medical needs for the water protectors at Rosebud. I told her about some of my experiences in the hospital—times when I hadn’t picked up on patient problems at their earlier stages, because of the many factors that can obscure the warning signs of an impending crisis. I didn’t want to seem like an incompetent nurse myself, but I also wanted her to realize that even when we’re trying to do our best, we won’t always be able to avert certain complications.

“Wow, thanks,” she told me after hearing about some of my experiences, “that does make me feel a lot better.”

I told her again how impressed I was with her competency in handling such a wide array of nursing duties in such an unconventional setting. She’s getting a really unique and well-rounded education from her experience at Standing Rock, and I don’t think she realizes just how adept she’s become there. I hope it serves her well when she reenters the “real world.”

We talked for a little while longer, about camp politics and her boyfriend and her need for a break from camp. I promised to be back to help as soon as I was feeling up to it. On the surface, it would seem I wasn’t doing much more than paying a social visit, but I could tell Rachel was beginning to trust me by the way she frankly shared her thoughts and feelings that afternoon. I realized that she needed someone to just sit and listen to her. I wondered how she kept it together, doing what she was doing every day, constantly extending herself to be in service to whatever anyone needed, at any time. I was becoming more aware of my own empathic nature, noting how drained I felt even after a day or two at the medical yurt, constantly subject to the needs and whims of those around me. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy being in service, I realized, but that I have a strong need to balance that open giving-ness with solitude and self-care. That’s hard to do when you’re living and working in a shared space 24 hours a day, where anyone could walk in at any time with any need and you have to address it then and there. I have enormous admiration for Rachel, and Jacque the herbalist, too, for spending so much time in that space and giving so selflessly every single day. They were (and still are, and have been for months) serving in a capacity I could only aspire to on the best of days.

After a while, I left the medical yurt to go wander around camp. It was a bright and beautiful day out. The weather had warmed up to just above freezing the past couple of days, and the top layer of the snow had melted and refrozen, creating a glossy layer of ice that made the landscape especially shiny. I wandered slowly through Rosebud and headed east toward Sacred Stone camp, although when I saw it off in the distance I decided it was a farther trek than I felt up for at the moment.

I ran into Orka and his companion Camille along the road. Orka asked me how I was feeling and I told him I was doing quite a bit better. I also apologized in case I’d seemed grumpy the other night at the casino. He told me not to worry about it at all, that he understood and was glad I felt better today. He gave me another hug and we went our separate ways.

I began to march toward the river. In some places, the snow was deep and I sunk in to about mid-calf. In other places, it was shallow. Sometimes the ice crusted on top was so thick it would support me and I didn’t sink into the drifts. I stopped frequently to admire the varied landscape, and also to catch my breath. I kind of wished I had snow shoes to ease the trek. I searched for pathways through the snow to make my passage easier, but all I saw was glistening white. I was beginning to realize how weak I actually was from being sick and lying around so much.

I finally reached the river’s edge. I noticed a patch of brown grass poking through the snow, as if the Earth was reaching up to say, “Hello! I’m still here!” I knelt down, facing the North, the direction of the ancestors and Oceti camp. I said a prayer of thanks for the Earth, the Water, the Wisdom of our Ancestors, and for all the other elements that support us in our survival on this amazing planet. I prayed that we should return to an understanding of the Earth as the sacred living being that it is, and begin to treat it as such, to restore the balance that has been destroyed by the process we so nobly call “civilization.”

After making this offering, I continued down to the river itself, which still appeared to be frozen solid. Was it still solid enough to hold me, I wondered, after two days with temperatures near or above freezing? My gut told me yes, and I proceeded to walk across the river, right over to Oceti. It was something I had wanted to do for days, to walk across the water, and it felt like an accomplishment (albeit a small one) to finally be doing it.

I stopped at the medical yurt first to see if anyone was there that I knew. Most volunteers had moved on since I’d been there last, except a pediatric nurse from California, Blaine, who was about my age. He greeted me when I walked into the space, but seemed pretty distracted otherwise, so I went on my way.

I realized I was starting to feel hungry, so I asked someone where I could find a kitchen (there were at least 2 or 3 operating in Oceti at the time). I managed to find what I believe was the main kitchen for the camp. People were gathered inside around a big wood stove, talking and getting warm, smoking cigarettes and munching on snacks that were spread across a table near the entrance. People seemed to be eagerly anticipating the meal that was being cooked there, noting how delicious it smelled, but I couldn’t smell a thing. I looked around the table for something small to fill my belly, knowing I wouldn’t be able to taste it anyway so it didn’t really matter what it was as long as it curbed my hunger pangs. I drank the tea I had carried there with me and chatted with a young man whom I’d met at Oceti Medical the week before. He was the designated tea-man, always cheerful, and always making delicious and medicinal teas and distributing them to the different areas around camp, such as medical, wellness, and security.

After a while, the combination of wood smoke and cigarette smoke began to burn my eyes, so I left the mess hall to go wander around camp some more. I had hoped to find the sacred fire, but also felt my headache returning, and I had not brought any Tylenol with me. I suppose I could have gone back to Oceti medical and asked for some, but I it didn’t occur to me at the time. I could feel exhaustion setting in, and my car was all the way across the river in Rosebud.

I started back down to the river and made another offering of tobacco on the North bank, facing the South, and also in the middle of the frozen river itself, facing East, the direction of the rising sun. I realized I wasn’t entirely sure which direction that river flows when it isn’t frozen, but I guessed it went East to West.

I made it back to Rosebud, to my car, and headed home sometime around dusk. I made dinner for myself back at the lodge room before crawling into bed, exhausted from the few hours I’d spent at camp and cowering from a splitting headache that had reappeared since I had gotten off of my regimen of aspirin that afternoon. Despite all the discomfort, though, I was thoroughly satisfied to have gotten out in the sunshine and fresh air that day. There was a twinge of disappointment, for sure, that I wasn’t able to participate in the ceremonies or gatherings that others were having to mark the Solstice—remember, I had imagined celebrating Solstice at Standing Rock would be one of the highlights of my experience there!—but I tried to reassure myself that whatever experience I was having was the one I needed to have, regardless of my plans, expectations, or fantasies. So I bowed down to the humbling force of my headache and whatever other ways this virus was ravaging my well-being at the moment, and summoned forth the dream world as my fingers made their way along my strand of carnelian beads I use as a mala.  

  Thursday, 22 December 2016

 By this point, I was learning to appreciate whatever experience was being dictated by my physical condition, and the unexpected wisdom that came along with it. The hours I spent shut away in my hotel room afforded me the opportunity to explore ideas of leaders such as Oren Lyons, Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, and others. Sure, these guys and their unforgiving critiques of modern society have been around for decades, but this was the first time I was really being exposed their ideas. I lay in my hotel room and listened to interviews and lectures. I learned quite a bit about the social history around the fundamental values set forth in the US Constitution, and how we’ve gone astray in actually living them out. I realized with startling clarity how very relevant all of their messages are to the present struggle we see around us, and it all helped me understand the principles and importance of Standing Rock even more.

Like so many other Americans, I have lived the majority of my life, up to this point, in blissful denial of the warpath our way of living have forged across the planet and in convenient ignorance to the suicide machine that is modern society. We are unsustainable. Certain groups of people, especially indigenous cultures, have been warning us of this for decades—centuries even.. The infrastructure that sustains us is already crumbling, but many of us—particularly in this country, where we have to power to continue to hoard a disproportionate fraction of the world’s remaining resources and thus maintain our current standard of living—choose to simply ignore the facts, even as we find ourselves in the 11th hour. We ignore the fact that, by the time we are actually inconvenienced or caused any sort of discomfort that we CAN’T ignore, it will already be too late. I am almost tempted to say, simply, that it is already too late, period. But perhaps it isn’t.

So I’ve resolved to become more informed. I’ll study the wisdom and ideas of others, about why civilization in its present form just doesn’t work. I’ll make myself more aware of the ripple effect that my actions have on the world around me, and work to mitigate that effect where is it most harmful. When and where I can, I will join others in the effort to dismantle the power structures that oppress and rob and kill. This is the transformation Standing Rock has to offer me, I think. I’m waking up in a new way, all over again. This is the next step of my journey—to become more conscious of my role in this intricate web of life and to improve my impact upon it. And to move forward, eyes wide open, wondering if and how we can survive the position we’ve put ourselves in?

In other news, I also spent a few hours at camp on this day. I was excited to show up to Rosebud medical and have Rachel take a look at my eyes, which were almost completely cleared up after using the honey/saline and colloidal silver drops. I was also pleased to discover that they had a new EMT helping out there. Her name is Ann and she came from Washington state, although she had grown up in Alaska and was therefore well-matched for the North Dakota winter weather.

A couple of elders also visited the medical tent while I was there. One was the woman who had given me Tylenol at the casino a couple of nights prior. He name is Kassie. She’s a little taller than your average woman, with a heavy build and dark hair frosted with gray. She’s a Lakota woman, as a tattoo across her right forearm proudly proclaims. She’s a mother and grandmother, as well as a tattoo artist. She hiked up her sleeves and pant legs to show us some of the beautiful tattoos she had done on herself.

“I’m addicted,” she admitted. “I’m really missing the ink right now, being away from home. I can’t wait to get some more work done.”

Kassie had traveled to and from the camp several times over the past several months. On her present visit, she had been hospitalized with double pneumonia. The night I met her at the casino, in fact, was the night she had just been discharged from the ICU in Fort Yates, the reservation hospital about an hour south of Standing Rock. Now family turmoil was calling her back home again, and she spent a long time talking quietly and tearfully with Jacque, with whom she’d clearly developed a close relationship.

The other woman is named Silvia. She is in her 60s, short and squat, with a head full of short hair in various shades of silver and gray. She is Cuban but has lived in the States for the majority of her life, as far as I could tell. Presently she has a home in California, but seems to spend a great deal of her time traveling and living out her life’s work as an activist. This warm and intelligent vegetarian woman has multiple arrests under her belt from participating in acts of civil disobedience across the country. Her children support her, for the most part, she tells me, but they still get frustrated with her when she calls them from jail. When she’s not acting out against the establishment, Silvia loves to cook (especially lentils, which she swears will cure anything) and learn about the lives and passions of the new people she meets along the road. Her house in California, she tells me, is a safe house and I am welcome there any time I happen to be in the Hayward area.

It was well worth the trip to Rosebud just to meet these two powerful and inspiring grandmothers. I talked at length with Silvia, and a bit with Kassie as well. These are the types of matriarchs our society needs right now—fierce but gentle, honest and uncompromising, wise and absolutely unafraid to stand up for what they feel is right. I need to stay in touch with these women, I thought to myself. I could follow Silvia anywhere. I’d get arrested with her, no question about it.

  23 December 2016

 Today was originally my planned departure date, so I could be home for Christmas. However, I don't feel that my work here is done yet. I'll be staying another several days. Medic council still needs support, and there are places yet to be explored, people yet to be met at camp. Have a warm and cheerful Christmas, everyone.

Today I went to Bismarck to run some errands. I stopped at a co-op and replenished my food stores. I also got some yummy fresh vegetarian food, and although I couldn’t taste it, it felt good to nourish my body in that way. I was also pleasantly surprised to discover that the co-op café had golden milk. Turmeric is my favorite wonder-drug, so I treated myself to a hot cup of that as well.

After lunch, I did some laundry at a nearby laundromat—mine and Rachel’s. Poor Rachel kept apologizing profusely for giving me her dirtiest leggings and socks to wash, but I assured her I couldn’t smell a thing and wasn’t offended in the least.

It was an interesting experience. For one, I’d never done laundry at a laundromat. And also, there was an odd young woman there. She first struck me as odd because I was standing at the washing machine next to her, loading my clothes, when suddenly she turned to squarely face me and stared me down with a stern expression, her lips tight as if she were getting ready to scold me for something. I checked the space around me to make sure I hadn’t moved her things or accidently hijacked a machine she was using. Nope. I raised my eyebrows toward her in a kind of questioning way, but she didn’t say a thing.

She eventually went about her business, switching over her laundry, then returned to a chair to wait for the next load to be ready. I heard her talking and glanced over in her direction, assuming she’d be on a cell phone. But she wasn’t. She was talking out loud to herself, or to someone else she perceived to be there but whom no one else could see. I happened to be using the machines closest to this woman yet chose not to move because, aside from our initial encounter, she didn’t seem to be paying me much attention anyway. Several of the other patrons gave me looks, ranging from merely quizzical to “oh my god be careful, she’s nuts.”

Her ramblings were sometimes heated and aggressive, accompanied my stomping and wild gestures, which I’ll admit made me slightly nervous, but for the most part I just wondered what it must be like to be her. She sat down right next to me with a soda while I folded clothes—unconventionally close in fact, but she paid me no mind as she talked about her one true love and how, if she couldn’t be with him in this life, perhaps she could be in the next, because they were destined for one another. Perhaps she’d just scrap this life altogether and start a new one, she conjectured out loud. Sure, a lot of it sounded entirely nonsensical, but I also played a game of pretending that she wasn’t “nuts” and tried to imagine what life would be like if we all just moved in and out of various realities, the way she seemed to do. What if we were aware of the difference between our soul existence and our corporeal existence? What if we could switch from one reality to another as it suited us? What reality would I hop to now, given that kind of infinite option? Hmmm…

So, I finished the laundry and picked up a few more items around town for myself and Rosebud medical before heading south, back to camp. I stopped by Rosebud briefly to deliver the things I’d gotten up for them before heading back to the lodge.

Back in Cincinnati, some of my family was gathered for Christmas, including my father, sister, and one of my brothers, and all the associated spouses and children. I talked on the phone with them, happy to be able to share in the gathering at least in that way. I didn’t miss the shopping and gift exchanging that goes along with Christmas. In fact, I was quite relieved to have avoided it altogether this year. However, I did miss the opportunity to be with my siblings, nieces, and nephews. They were all quite curious to hear about what I’ve been experiencing in Standing Rock, and we agreed to get together soon after my return.