#does anybody have any recommendations 🥺

[n1ntendos]

so weird how a fragrance can smell so good in the bottle but like actual ass when it’s on you and mixes with your ph and blah blah whatever. i tried terra di gioia on me and the smell reminded me of a public bathroom i can’t explain it

[theseveredspirit]

Currently on a Barrissoka brain rot atm...

Does anybody have any recommendations for fanfictional stories of them two as I try to make a novel myself?

🥺👉👈

[youremyheaven]

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

wowww these are some bigggg questions hmmm

ill try to answer them to my best ability (im prepared for my future self to laugh at me lmao but i trust that future heaven's in good hands<33)

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

for me, love is as love does. this means, love is an ability not an emotion.

i HIGHLY recommend reading all about love by bell hooks. i read it for the first time as a 18-19yr old and it CHANGED me as a person. i think every person, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, should read it.

a lot of us have been conditioned to believe that love is this mysterious fluttery emotion that just randomly strikes us one day. whilst its possible to experience that, its important to not let our own understanding of love be limited to that. love is not just what we feel, its what we do.

if i say i love my dog but dont feed him or wash him, then what kind of love would that be?

a lot of people fail to grasp the psychology of abuse and why its hard for victims of abuse (myself included) to leave their abusers. its because despite everything, there is love there. there are moments of tenderness, warmth and affection. any wounded person would stay trying to lap up whatever little they get no matter how excruciating the relationship may be otherwise. it requires a different kind of personal healing to be dissatisfied with breadcrumbs and BELIEVE you're worthy of someone's love and affection ALL THE TIME.

if you love someone, you TREAT them well. you speak to them kindly. not just when it suits you BUT ALL THE TIME. yes ALWAYS. no matter the situation, there is a way to approach it with grace!! you think of their needs/interests/where they're coming from. you do things without asking or being asked. you do what is necessary.

if you love someone and they say they're hungry, you get them food. instead of saying "why dont you eat?". i remember the first night my pookie I were hanging out, I was experiencing some personal difficulties and he stayed with me the entire day, leaving his work behind and I went home really late that night and he bought me dinner to take home with me even though I refused because he knew I was alone and had a distressing day🥹🥹its a small gesture perhaps but the fact that he was so thoughtful and considerate really warmed my heart. 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬the fact that he knew I was a girl alone in the city, vulnerable, sad and in distress and treated me with the utmost grace and kindness 🧿🪬🧿🪬and what makes me melt is how I know that he would treat anybody in that position the same way because that's who he is as a human being, he is sensitive, kind and generous. if you think about it, he had no reason to be there for me. after all, i had rejected him and given him the cold shoulder, he could just tell me to buzz off when I called him in the middle of the afternoon of a workday lol but he didn't 🥺🥺

(this was a tangent)

you'll know a man loves you when is sensitive towards you and your needs. when he is attentive towards you. remembers your likes and dislikes. when he is protective and caring. ive always believed that when we're in love, we awaken the maternal/paternal instinct within us because biologically that's how we're rooted to care for others, i.e, by being nurturing and considerate. like if you're vegetarian and your bf takes you to a steakhouse, thats 🚩if they love you, they'll do every possible thing to make your life easier. obviously not all men express love in the same way.

but regardless of his personality, the important factor here is that he WILL SHOW IT in REAL TANGIBLE WAYS. maybell he'll get you a cheesecake, maybe he'll buy you flowers, maybe he'll write you letters or sing you songs or whatever but HE WILL SHOW YOU. he will make you feel special.

if a man does not make you feel special in any way, that means you're not special to him. which means he does not love you.

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

i fell in love for the first time when i was 17 and it changed me as a human being so that was my first love 😭 its too soon to say anything about arm guy etc yet 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬but he is a lovely human being and a GREEN FLAG AF 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬ask me again in a few months and hopefully then i'll have a better answer to this question hehe<333

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

he said he's only been in 2 relationships before and i somehow get the feeling that they weren't super lovey dovey 🧐🤔i dont know the full details of those relationships rn (one of them was with an older woman- altho she's only 2yrs older than him and they met at the gym??? lol?? but idk her vibes felt off to me 😒)

i think i'll know in that moment (that its love) and ofc ill yap about it here hehe lmaooo . i cant say what or how itll happen bc im not God 😭😭

i wont be sad if he's been in love before because i know that nothing could come close to what we have or how we are with each other 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬i feel very secure about that so nope hehe

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

it depends on the person and the situation tbh,, some men have complicated relationships with their exes and thats what makes you feel like he'll go back to her any minute.

arm guy has been single for like 2 years, his ex moved overseas and all the roads are clear. if they occasionally reply to each others stories (which is what im assuming you mean by staying friends with an ex lmao) idc tbh lol

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

YESSS

This I wholeheartedly believe in. If you meet a man, you can always tell if he's had a significant "love" in his life. Because that will change you as a human being and the mark of that first love will be visible to anyone. Its like a wound you carry with you. you nurse it, you cover it up but its there. Men who've had that first love + heartbreak are a different species compared to men who haven't. They have that weariness to them, they understand women differently, they look at the world differently. First love + heartbreak builds character like NOTHING else ever could.

whenever men have that boyish sweet innocent vibe, I know they haven't known a "real" love and heartbreak yet. Thats the thing that makes a boy a man. And he will NEVER ever forget that woman until the day he dies.

men aren't wired the same way women are. male friendships are very low maintenance and low effort. the only space where men CAN share their emotions or be emotionally intimate with someone and share themselves deeply is in a romantic relationship. UNLIKE women who have profoundly deep relationships with other women as well. what this means is that, being in love, for a man, is 100x more vulnerable than it is for a woman because just the emotional intimacy of being that close to someone, sharing things with them, talking to them about stuff etc is BRAND NEW for them. imagine if you, as a woman, never had a friend before and made one for the very first time. wouldnt you be so cautious, nervous, scared, worried about every little thing etc because you dont want to lose them??

men lowkey get mad when they fall in love because it makes them sooo vulnerable, when usually they can just talk about football and drink a beer and go home. now he has to BE A PERSON and FORM A CONNECTION and its scary asf.

no man will ever forget the first woman he opened up to that way, the first woman he fell in love with. its his first taste of being seen as a human being.

even if it was unrequited love. the act of loving someone can make us more deeply human than anything else. it humbles us. it grounds us. even if they never love us back, we cant help but love them. there's nothing more profoundly humanizing than that.

i hope this answer helps<333

love,

Heaven

[hypaalicious]

Shampoo types!

… sorry, I guess I’m on a roll with the hair care stuff, NOW NOBODY CAN SHUT ME UP

So, there’s basically three categories of shampoo on the market.

Every day/general use shampoo

This is the vast majority of shampoos out there. They’re in drugstores, supermarkets, and all easily accessible places. Now, some of the quality will vary; Suave isn’t going to do what Olaplex does, for example. Some have humectants to draw water from the air into your hair, some help keep your dye job from fading as quickly, etc. But what they all have in common is that you can use them daily if you want with no adverse affect on your hair.

Clarifying shampoo

This is a shampoo that has a higher ph that is specifically used to strip your hair of anything undesirable. General use shampoos aren’t strong enough to do this. In my last post, I mentioned that if you use certain products, you will have to clarify your strands often in order to get moisture: this is what I mean. There’s types to remove product build up, some that remove chlorine from your hair after a swim in the pool, others that work to break down hard water deposits in your hair. These should be used sparingly.

Medicated shampoo

These shampoos are for scalp issues, like dandruff or very specific types of temporary hair loss. They contain very strong ingredients to target the problem you have, and should only be used as directed. But you shouldn’t be buying any unless recommended to by your dermatologist! Using medicated shampoos without knowing exactly what the issue is will cause you more problems down the road.

What CAN’T shampoo do?

Add volume to thin hair, have your hair grow faster, make your hair strand thicker, give you curls, eliminate frizz, mend split ends, seal moisture into your hair, add vitamins to your hair. Yeah, most advertising is straight up cap. 🥲

What should I avoid?

Drugstore shampoos generally aren’t the best; a lot of stylists will advise you to stick to salon-quality products. Yeah, they’re more expensive, but a little goes a long way!

Homemade concoctions also should be left alone; correct formulation is very important, and anybody doing psuedo-chemistry in their kitchen won’t really have an idea of how to do that. All-natural, “chemical free” labels are often just a marketing gimmick.

Shampoos really heavy in oils and butters also aren’t doing much but clogging your scalp. The softness you feel is just the residue from the product, not the real state of your hair. It will mask your problems for as long as you use it but leave your hair worse off than how it started, creating a cycle of dependence.

* I didn’t mention dry “shampoo” because it’s not actually shampoo. 😬 It doesn’t clean your hair, it’s just another product that needs to be washed out.

Once again, I’m sharing this in hopes that it helps folks! 🥺 There’s so much that I wish I knew years ago that I’ve just now learned thanks to some professionals spitting game. Demystifying hair care is the wave!

[lavellane]

how do you come up with your character backstories? they're all so detailed and well thought out and you always seem to have an abundance of fun and interesting trivia for all your characters as well. would you be willing to give tips to someone who has a hard time coming up with anything beyond like. the basics lol 😔👉👈

WAH THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS 🥺 i always feel a little embarrassed talking abt my ocs because i tend to start and never stop lol, and theyre all very special to me so its a sort of vulnerable extension of myself in a way. even if im only sharing with them with the lovely ppl who live in my phone its always a little stressful, so i really appreciate that they left a good impression!!

as for tips, i just wanna say as a disclaimer that i am very chronically online. ive also had multiple periods of extended free time in which ive been able to really hyperfocus on certain media and the characters i want to create within them. ALSO, a lot of my ocs ive had in development for several years and theyve just evolved naturally. ashara, for example, i made when i was 19, and im 26 now lol. ik this is cliche to hear, but i rly do think its important to go at your own pace when developing characters and do whatever makes YOU happy, before looking to anybody elses ocs , because we all have different lifestyles and creative processes and whatnot ❤️

that being said, i can def share a few things that helped me! firstly, i always start developing characters based solely on vibes and sensory stimuli, so i'd highly recommend making a pinterest moodboard for them and/or a music playlist! pinterest esp, since its such a great way to start brainstorming and getting a visual idea of what you want your character to look like/embody/represent. its a great place for inspiration in general.

secondly, one of the most important steps in developing any character is motivation. what does your oc WANT? why? what would they do to get it? should they get it? would would happen if they got it vs if they didnt? do they ACTUALLY want it or just think they do? answer those questions and you've already got a pretty solid foundation to work with. another really useful piece of advice a friend gave me several years ago was this: "what is something your character believes in at the start of their journey, that they no longer believe by the end of it?" for example, my warden oc elspeth believes in traditional heroics and black-and-white morality. by the end of dao she does not. theres a LOT to explore between point A and point B.

lastly, when i make ocs its very important to me personally that they feel inextricably TIED to the media they belong to. this is completely optional ofc, bc lots of people enjoy characters they can drag and drop into different stories, which is fine! for me though, i like taking cues from the world around them. it makes them feel natural to the plot, the setting, the canon characters, etc, because it helps me pin down some of their more hyperspecific quirks. there are a few ways to go about this.

the easiest way imo is to look at any major Core Issues within whatever media you're working with. like real life, people have OPINIONS about ISSUES and POLITICS lol, and those opinions are usually influenced by their own lived experience or personal belief system. so if you can identify a few key figures, factions or events in your story, and give your character an Opinion or Reaction to those things, it can pretty naturally be evolved into a unique and interesting backstory. to use elspeth as an example again: "elspeth dislikes orlais". thats a political opinion about a faction. and then to expand on why? "because her family/country fought in the occupation and she loves her family/country". from there we learn she's nationalistic and places value of lineage. then you could say — "she enjoys history and geography because it allows her to better appreciate her country. she cares deeply about all ferelden peoples, and has studied techniques from avaar and chasind communities". and you can keep branching out and expanding from there. and once you've exhausted that thread, move on to a diff one! "elspeth is nervous around mages". why? "because her religion tells her to and shes never thought to question it." why? etc etc etc.

alternatively, i find it really helpful to find an overlining theme in the type of media im working with/creating. sometimes its easy (baldurs gate 3 has a confirmed theme of autonomy vs authority, da4 will have a confirmed theme of regret, etc) but if its not as clear cut or your designing your own original world, its fine and great to take your own creative interpretation of things and run with it. for example, origins for me is very reminiscent of loss of innocence and war. inquisition is, to me, about personhood and losing it to your own mythology. once you've got a theme it can really help help translate into a cohesive story you want to tell and a character you want as an outlet. and since the character will be thematiclly relevant, you might also find it easier for them to connect to the cast/setting/story etc.

sorry this is so long, but i hope you gained something out of all this word salad lmao. one more thing i want to mention — its also fine to NOT do any of this. sometimes i get overwhelmed feeling like i have to come up with a unique/multi-faceted character every time i go into characterization, and virtually 100% of the time its Never that deep. if you find yourself getting stressed or overwhelmed, remind yourself that its perfectly fine to dream up a simple and straightforward character who makes you happy, and let the rest come to you as your character goes forth into the story. sometimes simplicity is best because you arent held down by the restrictions you've placed on them yet.

sending love, i hope this helped !!!!!! if you have any more questions or just want to chat, feel free to send another ask or slide into my dms ! ❤️❤️❤️

[coeurspurs]

I think this is one of the best skincare lineup for my current skin condition. 🧊🩵💧

Lately, my skin broke out again after I was being too carefree in what I consume. 🫠 Surely it's anything but good, but I'm trying to handle the stress now so it won't get any worse than this.😵‍💫

I didn't use any skincare products for about 4-5 months because I was using my doctor's prescriptions to heal my skin, and then I didn't repurchase any of those products for about 3 months because they made my skin look dull. 🥲

After weeks of having some thoughts and learned bits about skincare ingredients, I finally managed to buy some products that I think are necessary for my skin condition:

SOMEBYMI AHA BHA PHA Toner

Jumiso Waterfull Hyaluronic Toner

True to Skin Niacinamide TXA Serum

True to Skin Multi Hyaluronic Serum

The Originote Hyalucera Moisturizer

These products mostly has hydrating ingredient that can help my skin produce less oil (I have oily, acne prone skin type). I've been using the moisturizer for some time now and it does a great job in moisturizing my skin. However, the rest of the products are essentially new products that I just tried this year. 💐

I believe that something's wrong on my skin barrier, so I'm trying to fix it with hydrating products. I'm currently reducing my skincare routine to just exfoliate and hydrate to prevent even more breakouts. I had this thing called skin cycling before where I need to "cycle" the routines once every 3 days and I swear to God, it was one of the most stressing skincare routine I've ever had. 😂 But these methods are each to their own, I guess. Simplicity fits me more in so many things, including my skincare routine.

Before anybody jump at me, I know that AHA BHA PHA toner was so famous in around 2018. They were literally everywhere and people talked about it so often. Back then, I was afraid of using the product because I was new to skincare and I didn't want to over-exfoliate my skin. Just about 6 years later, here I am, praising that toner for how good it is on my skin! 🥺💞 It didn't give the tingling sensation when I applied it on my skin, unlike the previous exfoliating toner I used. It was so gentle and it did its job properly on the first try. I'm in love with this toner, it's obvious, and it's a very late response to a trend, lol. I would totally recommend this to anyone who's looking for an exfoliating toner.

And then, the Jumiso Hyaluronic toner. I saw the ad everywhere and I was so curious about it. I watched around 3-4 reviews on YouTube and dug some informations online. They succeeded on convincing me to buy the product, and here I am, loving the product as well. I don't know much about this brand, but I love this toner so much! I used another brand's hydrating toner before for around 1 year and it didn't give the very same result as this toner did! This toner's very refreshing and hydrating on my skin, it gave a bit of plump effect after I did some CSM on my skin. Loving it! 🥰😍❤️

And then, True to Skin's serums. I knew this brand way before when I visited my friend's house. She was using this brand's niacinamide serum. I wasn't a big fan of niacinamide, until recently after I tried reformulated niacinamide serum from this brand. It's called TXA Niacinamide now. I haven't learned much about this ingredient, so I don't know much about things that changed in the formula. 😅 My skin absorbs the products easily and they didn't leave a sticky feeling on my skin. They did their job properly and I'm here to see the improvements on my skin!

I can't wait for the final result on my skin after months of using these products. This lineup is so good that my skin gets super better within days. 😭💓 I hope they don't discontinue these products!!

[crushmeeren]

damn I wish I could help! I’ve just never been super into him unfortunately, and I don’t have any good recommendations on someone who does write him 🥺😭

(If anybody does have good recs, send help for my dear friend mady )

any chance you write for iida? ☹️

friend, I’m so sorry but currently I do not 😩😩

[joshpeck]

does anybody have any good podcast recommendations to help knock out a boring 3+ hour drive by myself 🥺

[mageless]

TMA fans 🥺 as somebody who has recently been introduced to the world of unhinged gay podcasts, does anybody have any recommendations? Preferably a few I can listen to comfortably at night (like WTNV)

[pascalslittlebrat]

A request of mobster Pedro pascal, with a shy reader. He fell for her love at first sight. She is scared of him. Drab le, one shot, headcanons...anything you want ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for the request 🥺🥺 If you haven’t read Take Two to Tango by @mothandpidgeon​ I 100% recommend it, she writes mobster!pedro beautifully. Any requests are always welcome.

Here is my take on mobster!pedro, set in modern time.

At First Sight

Part 2

Warnings: blood, mention of violence, some language, some inappropriate comments, other than that this is just really going to be something light with some soft Pedro at the end, because I’m feeling soft today.

Pairing: Mobster!Pedro Pascal x reader

Rating: T

Word Count: 3663

Taglist Masterlist

Pedro Pascal, just that name could make a shiver run down anybody’s spine in New York City.  A well-known mobster that had over half the city at his beck and call. He was dangerous, known for the crime ring he ran, and no one dared to spite him.

His business ran from owning different casinos, bars and strip clubs to extorting and money laundering or the occasional heist. Of course, he was good at what he does, any crimes they tried to get him for always ended with him being acquitted. He knew how to cover his trail and he covered it well or he could at least pay the right people off to turn a blind eye to it. He had people in all hierarchies, and it worked in his favor, the loyalty that his people held for him was above and beyond.  

So when you find him bleeding in an alleyway on your way home from your shift at the clinic, a part of you wants to run, to scream. Every nerve in your body wants to tell you to move on, to pretend you don’t see him sliding down the brick wall clutching at the wound on his abdomen, clenching his teeth and wincing in pain. You don’t even know why you had happened to look, you were walking home almost to your apartment building when you heard a groan and a hiss, usually you’d keep walking but it had caught your attention and because as a nurse you knew it was a noise of pain. You had immediately gone in, feeling stupid walking into the minimally lit alley, but when you saw blood on the floor you had immediately jumped into action. You asked the man if he was okay as you approached him, your breath catching when the man looked up and you saw the familiar face of Pedro Pascal.

“I’m fucking fine,” he had mumbled out, his tone was harsh but you could tell he was anything but fine. There was blood seeping through his button up shirt. You took a step towards him and he glared at you, his breathing was rapid, and you knew his wound could not look good. “I sai-said I’m fine! Don’t touch me!”

That part of you that had told you to run earlier was yelling at you to do it now, injured or not, this man still screamed danger. But something made you keep walking towards him. You put your hands up to show him you had no plans of injuring him and hoping your pink scrubs would further show you were no threat. “Y-You’re losing blood, I don’t know what the wound is but if you bleed too much no one is going to be able to help you. Please, let me help you,” you say softly as you get in front of him now, “I’m going to reach into my bag now and pull out some gauze and tape to put pressure on the wound okay?”

He looks up at you and you can’t help but take in how attractive he is. You had seen him in pictures online but nothing came close to how dark and rich his brown eyes were up close, the perfect cut of his jawline with the patches of scruff that fell along it, his curly brown hair looked soft even as it was matted to his forehead from him sweating. You blink looking away as you reach into your bag to pull out the supplies. His eyes are on yours as you kneel beside him, lifting up his shirt, you tried to keep calm, you had never seen a bullet graze like this before, he must have barely missed being shot. It had grazed across the middle of his stomach and was at least 3 inches long. “Well…at least if I die, I had a beautiful angel to take care of me at least,” he mumbles out with a smirk laying his head against the wall.

Pedro took you in, that soft look in your eyes, the way your eyebrow was furrowed in concern as you looked at his wound, the messy bun you had just helped to frame your pretty face, you were the most beautiful woman he had seen. He winced as you wiped off the blood around his wound, but he tried to keep his eyes open, he wanted to memorize every inch of your face. If he was to die, he wanted you to be the last thing he saw.

He felt weak and the pain of the wound was worse than anything he had felt before, it had been at least 15 minutes since Arturo had managed to surprise him, the fucking rat had pulled out a gun and shot at him. Pedro of course had managed to shoot him at the same time and barely had time to move out of the way but not enough to stop himself from being grazed by the bullet. Unbeknownst to you there was a body lying hidden beside the dumpster a few feet away. Pedro had tried to leave, tried to get to his car parked across the street where his phone was but the wound was stinging more than he expected and he knew he was in deep shit when he saw just how long the graze was, he was lucky the bullet hadn’t found a way into his side. Seeing you fuss over him, even though you looked like a terrified puppy, made his heart warm knowing you were taking care of him even after his threat, even with the fear clearly flowing through your body. He reaches out to touch your face, your skin as soft as he expected. His eyes flutter closed again and the pain was becoming more unbearable as you worked quickly to apply the pressure needed.

“Hey, stay with me, look at me…my apartment is right here, if I can get you in it, I can clean this out, I can’t see how bad it is right now, you might need to go to the hospital,” you say calmly, trying to keep him conscious, you wanted to avoid his eyes because the contact made you nervous but you knew you needed him to try and stay focused.

He opened his eyes immediately glaring at you, “No, I can’t go to the hospital…word will get out…” You sighed at the stubborn man but nodded as you squatted beside him, wrapping his arm around your shoulder so you could help lift him up. “What are you doing?” he grits out as he tries to help you get himself up.

“I have to get you into my apartment okay?,” you tell him as you start to walk with him, luckily you were used to helping elderly patients around to be able to carry his weight. You needed to get him out of the alley and into your apartment before anyone saw you both and assumed you had something to do with it.

He weighs himself down stopping, panting a a bit, “No hospital understood? Don’t make me have to threaten you princess because I am a man of my word.” His glare was still clear and you didn’t know how he could still manage to look terrifying even injured.

You gulp, your heart racing, knowing he most likely wasn’t a lying, “Okay, I’ll try. I should have some stitching supplies, but if this doesn’t help, I’ll have to call for help.”

Pedro shakes his head at you but starts walking, you look around grateful that it seemed like no one was out in your quiet neighborhood. “When you fix me up, I want you to go into that white Mercedes, my keys are in my pocket. My phone is in the glove compartment, don’t take anything, don’t look at anything, just get the phone and call Oscar. Do you understand,” he grits out, trying to sound menacing even though his voice was low barely above a whisper, “He’ll take care of this.”

You look over at the white car parked across the street and nod, slowly helping him inside your building. You walk him to the elevator, praying no one is coming down, you just needed to get to the second floor, when it dings you let out a sigh of relief seeing it empty. You help him in and he leans against the railing, you lift up his shirt and see the gauze was already red with blood but not as much as you expect, which was a good sign at least that you were able to put enough pressure on it. “If you wanted to see me shirtless, you just had to ask,” Pedro mumbles and you feel your cheeks flush.

“I-I’m just checking the wound,” you stutter out, feeling your face heat up at his comment. You were thankful that the elevator dinged and you grab him again, helping him down the hall to your door, avoiding looking at him. 

“You’re so cute when you’re nervous,” he chuckles humorlessly as he leans on the wall, before wincing in pain from the way it makes his stomach muscles clench, making the wound throb more.

You quickly lead him in, looking around the hallway one last time to make sure no one was seeing you bring an injured criminal into your apartment, before closing the door. “My...um... my bedroom is this way, I’ll need you to lay down,” you whisper, as you guide him through your living room, you can see him eyeing everything, probably used to having to always having to check for danger with his profession.

“Usually I would take a pretty girl like you to dinner before getting to see your room,” he teases and you smack his arm lightly, cheeks burning as he gives you that cocky grin. 

“It’s not like that,” you mumble as he retorts with a “Not yet it isn’t”

You shake your head at him, trying to keep him from getting to you. You help him lay down and immediately walk away into your bathroom to put space between you both. You wash your hands and take a deep breath, telling yourself you can do this, that you don’t need to be so shy or so nervous, it was like taking care of any other patient. You grab disinfectant, gloves, and find where you kept your stitching equipment from when you had been practicing at home, after your boss told you they trusted you enough to teach you.

You lay everything out on your nightstand. Pedro is thankfully still conscious, he watches you quietly, which made only made you feel more nervous. You take a deep breath before putting your gloves on and you lift up his shirt, you gently pull the gauze off and grab the disinfectant, “This is going to sting,” you warn him and watch as he clenches his teeth cursing in Spanish as it hits the wound. You wince with him, you knew this hurt, as you got the wound cleaned up you can’t help but wince further, “I don’t know how you don’t have a bullet in your stomach right now, it grazed you good, I’ve only seen anything like this in medical books.”

Pedro grits his teeth looking down at the wound then at you, “Lucky me, guess maybe I’ll live to see your angelic face again.”

You bite your lip, as you reach over and grab your stitching material. “This is going to hurt usually we numb the patient, but I don’t have that here.” You throw him a small smile hoping to calm his nerves, “You’ll have to be a big boy.”

“I’m sure it won’t be too b-mother fucker!” Pedro cries out as you start stitching the wound closed, you give him an apologetic look, as you continue. He grabs your pillow covering his face and you can just imagine he’s biting your pillow underneath it.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you repeat feeling terrible knowing it couldn’t be the most comfortable feeling. “Think of rainbows or something happy,” you tell him realizing how ridiculous you sounded after you said it.

He pulls the pillow away from his face giving you a look showing he felt the same way, “Rainbows are you-motherfucker-kidding me-shit.”

You can’t help but snort shaking your head, “Not my best choice of words but usually what I tell kids when I’m stitching them up.”

He rolls his eyes at you. “Fucking rainbows…”he mutters to himself before wincing and covering his face again.

You finish up, checking your handy work, pleased with it, and disinfect once more before applying some antibiotic ointment and placing a fresh gauze over it. “It’s done. You should be okay, but I would have a doctor look at it....I’m just a nurse and there’s still the risk of infection....”

Pedro puts your pillow down and nods, his breathing seemed to be becoming more even, he closes his eyes again taking a deep breath. You take off your gloves throwing them in your trash bin next to the bed, you gather the things you had used only to stop when Pedro grabs your free hand with his, making you jump a bit not expecting the contact. You look over at him, his eyes are soft and you can see the exhaustion in him, he gives you a small smile, “Gracias mi ángel.”

You gulp nodding before giving his hand a gentle squeeze, “Rest...I don’t think you lost enough to worry but you’re going to definitely need the rest. I’ll keep my eye on you and contact that person like you said.”

Pedro gives you a small nod, he brings your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss before he lets your hand go and closes his eyes. “You’re beautiful, mi amor, I owe you for this.”

***

You hear someone pounding on your door and jump from where you were sitting on your couch reading a book. Pedro was still fast asleep and you rush to the door not wanting him to be woken up. You open the door to see hardened brown eyes staring at you, the man glares at you  before pushing past you, three men in suits following behind him. You flinch when you see guns in their hands putting your hands up trying not to freak out, knowing these had to be Pedro’s men. “Where the hell is he?” the man growls out, he was taller than you but a few inches shorter than Pedro was, he had dark hair and a salt and pepper beard, “What did you do to him huh?”

“Oscar, stand down, she saved me,” you hear Pedro say and see him leaning against the entrance to the living room clutching his stomach. You immediately go to him, helping him sit down. “I’m fine querida, it just hurts like a bitch.”

Oscar immediately calls his men to him and you step away. They start speaking to each other in Spanish and you can see Pedro get irritated before raising his voice at Oscar who you assumed was still blaming you. “She found me bleeding and injured, she brought me in and stitched me up, she is not a threat to us at all, I would still be out there injured most likely, I hope you called Montoya.”

Oscar gave you one more once over, his eyes easing up some, before looking at his boss and nodding, “Yes, he’s waiting for your arrival. I told him what she told me, he wants a good look.”

Pedro nods as he orders his men to help him up. He nods for them to help him towards you, he releases himself from their hold and gently cups your face, “You are forever in my gratitude mi ángel, I hope to see you again.” He presses a soft kiss to your cheek and you close your eyes, his scruff tickles your skin but his lips are soft and warm and you know you were blushing. He smiles at you before letting his men help him out. And just as he came into your life, he was out of it with the only proof of his existence in your apartment being the small amount of blood on your scrubs from helping him.

*A month later*

You had just finished cleaning up the last patient room when you walked out and jumped seeing Pedro leaning against the front desk. You were alone, your boss trusting you to lock up because of a dinner they had to get to. Your hand comes up to your heart as you try to calm your beating heart, “P-Pedro! Fudge, you scared me.”

“Have time for one more patient?” Pedro asks with a smirk, quirking an eyebrow at you, he had a bouquet of beautiful red roses in his hands.

“W-what are you doing here?” you ask nervously, you glance at the clinic door that you could have sworn you had locked.

Pedro chuckles as he catches your line of sight, “I’m good with locks ángel, I saw you were still here and I’ve been meaning to come see you.”

You look at him, then at the flowers, he couldn’t have come to hurt you if he had flowers, right? “Why?” you ask him, looking away from his molten eyes.

He walks towards you with a lopsided grin, “I wanted to thank you properly, now that I’m not you know bleeding out and can breathe. Though I must say, you take my breath away even more now that my brain is functioning properly.”

You blush at his comment and he looks down at the ground suddenly, a look coming across his face, before he holds the flowers towards you, and if you didn’t know better you would think he was nervous. ”Thank you, they’re beautiful,” you tell him as you take the flowers, unable to stop from smiling when you take in their floral scent.

He looks at you, relief washing over his face. You almost wanted to laugh seeing this man that terrified you and so many others, nervous over giving you flowers. “I..I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that day,” he admits softly, so low you almost couldn’t hear it. Pedro wasn’t used to this, to admitting feelings, he was used to teasing or just being charming enough to get in a lady’s pant but with you he wanted more than that. “I’ve been wanting to see you, but I had to take care of some things and I wanted to be well healed before I came to you.”

You feel your heart racing, why would he be thinking of you? You were just a simple nobody, “I-I don’t understand…”

He takes the flowers from you and places them on the counter, taking both of your hands in his. You gulp as you stare into his eyes, he looked vulnerable and young and you knew most people most likely didn’t have the luxury of seeing him like this. “I want to see you, I want to get to know you…not just know information I could have digged up on you…I know I scare you, I don’t exactly have the best reputation, but if you let me, I can show you who I am behind this mobster title. Please,” he pleads out softly.

You look at him, waiting to find the lie in what he is telling you, but you couldn’t find any trace of one. You bite your lip, a part of you was afraid, he was right he didn’t have the best reputation. He was a criminal, a threat to many, but as you looked at him, eyes pleading you, you can’t help but remember that part of you that had been thinking about him too. Yes you were terrified of him and what he could do, but there was this part of you that had been worried, wondering if he had been okay, if you had done a decent job patching him up.

Pedro takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, he reaches out and strokes your cheek softly, “Think about it yeah?” he takes your hand in and you feel him place a piece of paper in it, “If you decide you want to see me again, call me. If not then, I guess I’ll have my answer.”

You look at him, taking in how uncomfortable he looked, you could tell he was used to being in control and not knowing what was going to happen between you two had him nervous. He looks back at you then at the ground, seeming to be debating something, before his warm brown eyes meet yours again. “I know this sounds crazy, but when I saw your face. I really thought I was dying which I know is a bit dramatic now but you were so beautiful and it was like this light shining in my darkness. You looked so concerned and worried for me, even though you clearly recognized who I was, even when I could see you wanted to run. I don’t know if this is what love at first sight feels like and I’m crap at feelings…but I’m not lying when I say I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. You’re in my thoughts, in my dreams.  I took so long too because I thought I would forget about you, that’d I’d be able to just move on but I couldn’t. So I want to know I at least tried,” he tells you, his baritone was soft and gentle.

Your head feels like its spinning as you take in his words and you lean up and press a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll let you know my answer, even if it’s a no,” you tell him reaching out to give his hand a squeeze.

Pedro looks over at you and nods before turning to walk away. He stops at the door looking over his shoulder and you give him a small smile, before he walks out the door closing softly behind him. You lean your head against the wall and as you stare at the door, expecting him to turn back and a part of you aching to stop him, you knew exactly what your answer was.

@221bshrlocked can I kill you with soft mobster pedro now

[n1ntendos]

that being said.,, does anybody have any favourite recipes to recommend 🥺🙏

[maybege]

I have thoughts about modern Paz being domestic!

I work at a bookshop and I just know Paz reads like a 50 year old man, meaning mostly crime or documentary reads, sometimes he reads some fantasy or something you recommend him, but he sticks for the most part to crime series. And I imagine on days like this when you usually might be with family or friends but this year you can’t, or maybe you can’t or won’t, but today you read. Paz with the book he got for Christmas and you with whatever, maybe a very sweet romance book making you sigh at the very overly romantic and emotional scenes and Paz sneaking glances at the pages every now and then after a particularly soft sigh from you where you are with your head under his chin your legs across his, and later when you stand in the kitchen making dinner he kisses down your cheek and neck just like he read as he read in your book over your head, maybe it heats up and he does the very cliche “dessert before dinner” and eats you out on the counter, don’t worry you are at cabin in the woods far away no people see, or if you are feeling a bit reduced after a long night prior he might just insist you have to cuddle with him while the dinner is in the oven. Any way I’m convinced his big warm hands will rub your cheeks and back and sides and arms all night long when you sleep🥺☕️

The thought of Paz trying to reenact something he read in your romance novels has me 🥺

He always teases you about how you have your nose stuck in the but when he peeks over your shoulder and reads the lines that make you sigh he thinks a little effort can’t hurt anybody right?

So in no time he has you spread out on the kitchen island, your legs over his shoulders as he eats you out like a man starved. Your hands are buried in his hair and you gasp and moan into the cool night air as you writhe against his mouth. ♥️👄♥️

spend New Year’s Day on the couch with me

[faeriesuns]

Does anybody have any recommendations for nonfiction history books?

I like reading anything about history, like really all of it.

I need new books to read but I need some recommendations, if yall could help 🥺☺