#doctor bossy beck

[jlstreck]

I watched The Martain again the other day. Which naturally meant after months of not touching my Beck/Watney fic it demanded I add a new chapter. 

Title: Strictly Professional (A Beck/Watney fic) Summary: This started out as just a little one shot focused immediately before and after Beck goes out to catch Watney. To say the least, there was more to the conversation about cutting Beck loose than we saw in the book.

In case you missed the first 2 chapters - Read Part 1 and Part 2. Or catch the whole thing on AO3.

Chapter 3

“Technically speaking, I should discourage this,” Lewis gave a pointed look at Beck and Watney’s joined hands as they joined the others in the lounge area. “Or even officially reprimand the pair of you. But given that so far on this mission we’ve left one of you on Mars and collectively decided to disregard direct orders and basically hijack the Hermes, I’m not going to. Don’t let it interfere with getting your work done or the safety of the crew.” She smiled warmly, still so happy they’d brought Watney safely back on board that for all she could care they could run around the ship like a couple of horny teenagers and she still wouldn’t object. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Beck’s face flushed crimson, still reeling from the surprising turn the day had taken. Watney, on the other hand, grinned mischievously as he nodded at her words.

“Is there more to this lecture or can we finally say hello?” Martinez teased from behind Lewis, making the commander roll her eyes in mock annoyance.

“Welcome back, Mark.” Lewis wrapped him in a hug instead of answering Martinez. “I’m so glad you made it.”

“Me too. Can’t say I really recommend the whole solo martian experience. The food lacked variety, company was questionable at best, and the music … don’t get me started on the music.”

“Speaking of, I have yours if you want it back.” Vogel gave him an apologetic smile.

“Thank you and I’m never letting you borrow anything ever again.” Watney teased, taking a step forward to greet the other man.

It took a while, but eventually he made it through his reunion with each member of the crew. Hugs, laughter, and a few tears were shared. It still felt strange to be back around people after so long alone. Watney was torn between settling himself into the middle of the activity and hiding away for a while, overwhelmed with so much in stark contrast to the last 530 days or so of complete physical isolation.

“We can catch up more later,” Beck’s voice interrupted the rest of the crew’s chattering. “For now, he needs food and rest.”

“Is that your professional opinion or are you just trying to get him alone?” Martinez waggled his eyebrows suggestively as he spoke.

“Strictly professional.” Beck answered, looking at each member of the crew before his eyes turned back to Watney. He could see Mark struggling not to laugh at his word choice. He had a feeling that particular phrase was destined to have a double meaning with the two of them for a long time.

“Why don’t you go get him settled and I’ll bring you two something to eat?” Johanssen offered. Prior to today she was the only member of the crew that knew how Beck felt about Watney. She’d also had a pretty good clue about Watney’s interest but never could find a way to knock some sense into the pair of them before things went to shit.

“Thanks, Beth.” Chris gave her a quick hug before turning his attention back to Mark. “Nothing too rich. He’s gonna need time for his system to adapt to more varied foods again.”

“Got it. No making Mark sick with his first meal back on Hermes.” She nodded before heading toward the kitchen.

“Fine. Just one request,” Mark spoke up before she made it out the door.

“What’s that?” Beth spun toward him.

“No potatoes.” Mark grimaced at the word.

“Well there goes my evil plan.” Beth snickered as she flipped back toward the kitchen, the sound of her laughter following her.

“Don’t worry. She’s not that mean.” Beck assured him as his hand came to rest on Mark’s hip.

“You,” Lewis pointed at Watney, “rest and relax. I’ll give the powers that be an update on your condition. They can wait until later to talk to you more. And you,” she looked to Beck, “make sure he follows those orders.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Beck quickly agreed, relieved that he wasn’t going to need to find excuses to stay close.

“Let us know if you need anything.” Lewis offered before the pair headed off toward Beck’s quarters.

Lewis, Martinez, and Vogel watched as they disappeared down the corridor.

“How much trouble will they be in with NASA?” Martinez asked when they were out of earshot.

“Under normal circumstances, they would be reprimanded. But all things considered, I don’t think they’ll say a word. Though it’s probably in their best interest for all of us to keep it under wraps until we land. No point borrowing more trouble.”

“Fair enough.” Martinez replied. “The powers that be better not give them crap after everything.”

“What happens on the Hermes stays on the Hermes.” Vogel chuckled. “At least until we’re back on Earth.”

“Exactly.” Lewis agreed.

**Strictly Professional**

“Are you really going to make me sleep?” Mark pouted as they shut the door to Beck’s quarters. “Not saying I’m up for running a marathon, but I really don’t feel like sleeping when I finally have someone to talk to that isn’t on the other end of a computer.”

Beck shook his head, trying to hide his smile as he watched Mark moved around his quarters. “Nah. I’m not gonna make you sleep. Resting will be good for you, but that can be done kicked back and relaxing even if you’re awake.” He hesitated for moment, watching Mark’s expression carefully. “It’s just … I …”

“Come on, doc. It scares me when you start doing that.” Mark stepped closer to Chris.

“Doing what?”

“When you go from being your usual bossy self to hesitating over every word. It’s not normal.” Mark arched his brows, daring Beck to argue. “So what is it you were trying to say?” He had a feeling there was something behind the way Beck kept acting so timid with things, but decided to wait and push on that later if the doc didn’t come clean on his own.

Beck huffed, knowing Mark was right. “I didn’t want you to think I pulled you away from the others just to keep you to myself. If you want to join them you can. I won’t stop you and I’ll make sure Lewis knows its okay as long as you’re taking it easy.”

“But?”

“But you looked like you might have been a bit overwhelmed.” Chris started to turn, searching for something to do with his hands so he didn’t have to just stand her and listen to Mark tell him to fuck off and stop being so overbearing.

“You’re doing it again.” Mark spoke, but the words weren’t what Beck was anticipated. Watney stepped closer, pressing his far too bony chest against Beck’s back, snaking both hands around his sides to pull him closer. “You’re having another conversation with me in your head and I can already tell you’re getting my fucking lines wrong again.”

Chris closed his eyes, feeling Mark’s breath hot against his neck.

“For the record, you were right. It was great seeing everybody and I want to spend time with them, but it was also overwhelming. I’m not used to groups of people. Hell, I’m not used to people at all right now.”

“Do you want me to …”

Beck started to step away, but stopped when Watney’s hands tightened across his stomach.

“No. I want you to stop listening to the fake me in your head that’s telling you to run away and start listening to the me that’s standing right fucking here telling you to stay.” Mark growled, his mouth mere inches from Beck’s ear. “Unless this isn’t what you want. Then I’m not stopping you from going.”

Chris pulled Mark’s hands away from his body, giving himself enough room to turn around and face the other man.

“I’ll try. I’m sorry I keep being dramatic.” Beck started into Watney’s eyes. “I want to be right here with you, but …” He stopped.

Mark waited for several seconds to see if he would continue before speaking. “If you keep this up I’m going to start insisting that you tell me why one of the bossiest people I’ve ever met is suddenly second guessing himself every time he speaks.”

Guilt flashed across Beck’s expression and suddenly Mark got it.

“You made the call that I was dead.” He watched Chris’s eyes slam shut, lower lip catching between his teeth as he tried to stop the tears that immediately welled in the corner of his eyes. “Fucking hell, Chris.” Watney wanted to smack himself when he saw the doc flinch. “You went off the only data you had. How the hell were you supposed to know that my readings stopped because of one of the most freaky, fluke accidents ever instead of me actually being dead.”

“But …” Chris still didn’t open his eyes.

Mark raised his hands, brushing the unshed tears away with his thumbs before leaning in to place a gentle kiss on Beck’s lips. “You can’t spend the rest of your life second guessing every decision you make because of one crazy ass call that anyone in your position would have made. If you hadn’t made that call Lewis would have stuck around and we’d all be dead on Mars by now. My botany prowess is impressive and shit, but even I couldn’t have made enough potatoes to keep us all alive until a rescue came.”

“But …” Beck finally opened his eyes, but still couldn’t figure out what to say.

“No. No buts. I’m not saying it’s an experience I care to repeat, but I made it through. Thanks to you I am both a space pirate and the first person to colonize another planet.” Watney grinned. “You’re not allowed to regret letting me do that.” He held Beck’s face, forcing him to meet his eyes. “You made the only decision you could that ended in all of us being alive. There’s nothing to regret.”

Chris wanted to argue, but knew that Mark was right. “Fine. You win this one.”

“Oh, I’ll win more than this one.” Watney smirked as he dropped one hand to reach around and grab Beck’s ass, getting a surprised squeak out of the doctor just before they heard a knock at the door.

[thatsbucknasty]

she used to be mine (ix) waitress au

summary: Inspired by the broadway musical. Y/N Beck is a pie baking force to be reckoned with. She’s pregnant with her lazy ass husband, Quentin Beck’s baby. As everything around her turns upside down, Doctor James Buchanan Barnes charms his way into her life.

pairing: Y/N x Bucky

tags are still open :3

chapter 9: you matter to me

I can’t believe I’m done for today. I almost thought I’d never finish these pies and my feet are killing me. What I would give to be one of those rich soccer moms who drive nice SUV’s and go to brunch and get massages.

I’m done baking but I need to clean the mess and I don’t think I’ll be able to. I need to sit down for a bit and rest my back against something soft, like my mattress. I miss my mattress. I wish I could leave the dishes and get home already.

The bell rings and it startles me from my reverie. Did Nat forget something? She always forgets her wallet or keys.

“Nat is that you?” I yell from the kitchen.

The door opens and I see the last person I was expecting.

“Bucky. What- what are you doing here? Is there a problem?”

“Hi, no, I just wanted to see you, I- needed to see you”. He closes the space between us and I feel my heart in my throat.

“Is that alright?” He asks politely.

“What?” I’m too distracted by him and I’m not sure I even heard what he said.

“Is it alright for me to be here? I brought you a gift” He smiles a tight lipped smile and my senses are on edge, I can smell the sweetness of his cologne and it’s just the right amount of lavender and sandalwood for me to want to run into his arms but I stay put, my arms stiff on my sides.

“Did you? Why? It’s not my birthday”.

“It’s an apology present. I’m sorry for being an ass and making you feel uncomfortable. Here, open it”.

I grab the box and rip the light purple paper apart.

“It’s a Bundt pan!” I say to him while tears start to form in my eyes.

“And it’s non-stick!” He points out with the most adorable excited grin on his face.

“Oh my god, this is the sweetest thing someone’s ever done for me, thank you, Bucky!” I can’t resist it now and throw my arms around his neck.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart”. He wraps his arms around my waist and even though my growing belly stands between us, it still feels amazing to be held by him again.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have crossed any boundaries between us, I know, but you need to know how much you matter to me. I’m here to tell you I’ll be here for you whenever you’re ready. I don’t care if it’s today, tomorrow, or a year from now, I just need one thing from you”.

“And what is that?” I take a step back from his embrace to see his steel blue eyes looking serious but vulnerable at me.

“I need you to not push me away, and everyone else who wants to help you, for that matter!  Do you think you could do that?” 

He takes a strand of hair away from my face and I know I could never deny him anything when he’s looking at me like I’m the only thing in the universe. I hold his hand in both of mine and bring it to my lips ever so gently, his forehead rests on mine and I whisper yes to him.

“I promise to not push you away, or my friends. You and this diner have become the most important people around me and I know me and my baby are gonna need you guys... But you and I, we need to take things slow okay?”

“I could go slow, yeah!” He throws his arms around me again and this time he squeezes the life out of me, beaming in excitement.

“Okay, doctor, you’re crushing the little peanut now”. I try to say between giggles and jagged breaths.

“Sorry, sorry!”

“It’s okay, I need to sit down though, too many emotions for a day”.

He helps me down a stool and sits next to me.

“Hey, so what do you say I invite you to dinner tonight?” 

“Tonight like right now?” 

“Why not? I bet you’re hungry”.

“Oh-kay… where will we go though? I don’t mean to be picky but my stomach can’t really take just whatever at the moment”.

“You still struggling with morning sickness?”

“I get morning sickness, afternoon sickness, middle of the night sickness, you name it”.

“Y/N you should tell me these things, I’m your doctor! I can prescribe you something!”

“Right, I just didn’t know how to talk to you after that day”.

“Oh. Right, I understand. Well, let’s get you something at the pharmacy before we get dinner, what are you in the mood for?”

He helps me clean up the kitchen and lock up the diner and we talk about the girls and Sam, nurse Maria’s latest antics at the hospital and how much he’s missed my pies. After an hour or so, we get into his car, I turn on the radio and we enjoy the music while he drives away.

~

Always on my mind

Always alone

You could be miles and miles away

But somehow you're close

If I can't have the cake

And I can't eat it too

I guess the sound of your voice and the ache

It'll just have to do

Cause the trouble with wanting is I want you

The trouble with wanting is I want you

The trouble with wanting is I want you

And I want you all the time

-

We stop by the pharmacy and I wait in the car while Bucky goes inside to get some pills that are supposed to help me keep down my meals instead of puking them out, he also brings me an ice lolly to help my dizziness and nausea. We park at an Italian restaurant and I notice a man and a woman get into the car next to us. He’s here and he brought Alice. Bucky’s about to get out to open my door when I grab his hand.

“Stop”.

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick again?”

“Yes, but it’s not-” I sight and signal Bucky to look over my shoulder.

He sees them too and his eyes grow angry at the man who used to love me.

“Do you want us to leave?” He says without taking his eyes off of Quentin.

“No, I think they’re leaving, let’s just wait here”.

“You sure? Do you want me to go out there and confront him?”

“What?! No! Why would I- no, it’s fine, Bucky. That’s just gonna make things worse, he was already jealous of you at the hospital, I could tell. I don’t need any other obstacle in the way of divorcing his lying, cheating ass”.

Bucky finally looks at me when they drive away and holds my hand in his. He brings his lips to my knuckles and steps out of the car to open my door. We enter the dimly lit restaurant and a young waiter takes our order. Bucky gets the pesto spaghetti and I order the chicken marinara.

“You don’t deserve this. I know you know you’re better off without him but still, he was your husband and you loved him once, so… I’m sorry you had to see them together”.

“Thank you. I’m alright though. I guess seeing him with Alice made it even more tangible, permanent, but maybe that’s exactly what I needed to get motivated and work my ass off until I can pay that lawyer and be done with this quickly”.

“Hey, speaking of that, did you pay the hospital bills already?” 

“I will, on Monday, after that I can start saving up for the divorce and when the birth happens I might have to ask for a loan. I don’t know how, but I’m determined to get through this, for my baby”.

“I respect you for that, but Y/N, you really don’t have to work your ass off, matter of fact, for your own health and your baby’s, you shouldn’t. Here’s what’s gonna happen: you’re gonna let me pay for the past hospital bill- and before you say anything, being a doctor there, I’m sure they will give me a discount, so you don’t have to worry about it, you can keep your savings and call that lawyer as soon as possible, okay?”

I look straight ahead and think about it for a minute. We had this conversation before and I think it’s time for me to stop being so proud and stubborn. The sooner I get rid of Quentin, the better it’ll be for my own peace of mind.

“Okay. But-”

“No, no buts! You’re gonna take it and I’m also going to pick you up from work from now on, you shouldn’t be walking after long hours of standing. When I’m done for the day at the hospital I’ll give you a ride home, when I’m late and have to stay extra hours Sam will drive you home, alright?”

“Wait, how d’you know Sam?”

“Um. it’s a long story, but we talked about this and he agreed”.

“Alright then”.

“Alright then”. He echoes my words and I scoff at him.

“I didn’t know you were so bossy, Doctor”.

“I’m not”. He smiles down at me from across the table. “I care about you and I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure you get through this in one piece. This baby is only going to be a healthy, happy little girl if her mamma is also healthy and happy”.

“Right now I’m pretty happy”. I admit and take a bite from my plate.

“Yeah? Italian food makes you happy. Duly noted”. He winks and I feel so complete in this moment. There’s nothing that could pop this little bubble we’re in. 

-

chapter 10: I didn’t plan it

[dettiot]

Fic: In Space . . . (The Martian)

In Space . . . By @dettiot Fandom: The Martian (All Media Types) Couple: Beck/Johanssen Rating: PG Summary: In the days before the Hermes meets up with the resupply probe, two members of its crew find a hidden moment together. Notes: Written for the prompt “distracting with affection” on my @fluffbingo card. This combines elements from the movie and the book.

XXX

Calling the crew rooms on the Hermes ‘cabins’ was a wildly enthusiastic description of the actual reality. There was enough gravity in this section of the Hermes that no one had to strap themselves into a sleeping bag attached to the wall; everyone had an actual, although narrow, bed in their room. Although even with the centripetal gravity being disengaged, it didn’t really matter much. Other than the bed, there was a desk, built into the wall above the foot of your bed, where you could dock your personal laptop, enough space to post a few personal photos on the bulkheads, and . . . that was it.

Commander Lewis had a window, but Beck and the rest of the crew didn’t have that luxury. So with the overhead lights off, his cabin was pitch black. It was maybe the perfect setting to watch Alien. Because space.

Stretched out on his bunk, an arm tucked behind his head, Beck watched the movie without really paying much attention to it. He had seen this movie at least a dozen times. Before he had gone to Mars, it was one of his favorites.

Now, though, he didn’t like what it was making him think about. Not with everything going on, not with their rendezvous with the resupply probe happening tomorrow. With a quiet grunt, he sat up and moved to shut off his laptop when there was a light tap against his closed door.

He paused the movie, wondering who it was. Not Lewis or Martinez; they were both early to bed, early to rise types. Vogel kept to himself during his off-hours. The most likely person would have been Watney, if he was here.

Beck’s stomach twisted and he reached out to open the door, wondering why he felt surprised when he saw Johanssen floating in the corridor. Because who else could it be but her? But that didn’t mean he wasn’t still surprised, because . . .

And he was just standing there without saying anything. Giving himself a mental shake, he nodded to her, taking in her pale skin and dark eyes. “Hey, Johanssen.”

She nodded back. “Hey, Chris.”

He blinked at his first name. “Oh. Um, hi, Beth.”

It felt as weird to say her name as it was to hear his own. He could see her acknowledge the weirdness with a quirk of her lips.

“What are you watching?” she asked, gesturing to his laptop.

He actually had to glance back at the screen to remind himself. There was something about her, something that made him feel slow and not himself--in a good way. He liked her a lot; had liked her from the start of their training. But even before Lewis had sat all the men down and told them what she would do to them if they hit on Johanssen, Beck knew he would say nothing about how he felt until they got back to Earth.

dude . . . you need to tell Johanssen how you feel.

“Alien,” he said, ignoring his mental Watney throwing spitballs at him for not manning up.

“Really?” she asked, her eyebrows raising slightly. “I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

Not really sure what to say, Beck just shrugged his shoulders and gave her an attempt at a smile. “Wasn’t really ready to sleep.”

“Watching that, you’re not going to want to sleep. At least, watching it alone, you won’t be able to sleep.” Johanssen hesitated, then reached out with both hands, one gripping the side of the doorframe and the other gently pushing him aside, so she could pull herself into his cabin.

One person made the cabin feel small. Two made it feel so confined, Beck nearly moved out into the corridor, based on some lizard-like part of his brain that did not want to be so close to Johanssen.

Beth. Maybe calling her Beth in his head would make this easier?

She sat down on the end of his bed, crossing her legs. The only light came from the corridor and he could see her squinting before she said, “Close the door.”

Was she trying to kill him? Did she not realize he was not only trying to follow orders, but be a gentleman, also? But there wasn’t anything else he could do but grant her request, so Beck--for fuck’s sake, in his own head, he really should call himself Chris--closed the door but immediately turned on the small reading light at the head of his bed, before sitting down in a similar position to Beth’s.

Both their backs were against the bulkhead that ran along his bed, their shoulders nearly touching. He rested his feet against the edge of the bed, his knees in the air, his arms folded over his chest.

“Can’t sleep, either?” he asked her quietly, not ready to sit in a dim room with her in silence.

“No,” she said. Her hands--doctor’s hands, he had always thought, what with her slender fingers and small fists--were clasped together in her lap. “Thinking about what Commander Lewis told me. About what would happen if something goes wrong with the rendezvous.”

“Oh,” he said, feeling his heart drop down to somewhere around his stomach. “The . . . the worst-case scenario option?”

She nodded and then tugged on the holder in her hair, releasing her ponytail. With her brown hair falling around her face, Beth immediately looked softer and younger. “Yeah.”

Chris swallowed, trying to get rid of the bitter taste in his mouth. “You know it’s just in case. And that . . . that you’re the only person who’d be able to get the Hermes back to Earth by yourself. And--”

When Beth interrupted him by putting her small, soft fingers over his mouth, Chris immediately stopped talking. Now his heart was in his throat, and even if he wasn’t a doctor, he’d know that was impossible, but it was how he felt.

“Commander Lewis told me how she chose me. How she asked you first, if I was the best choice from a medical perspective,” Beth said. “And how you reacted.”

There was just enough light for him to see her face, to see how large and dark her eyes were. She dropped her hand from his mouth and he took a deep breath. “I yelled at her,” he said.

Which was another understatement, like calling this room a cabin. He had blown his top at Lewis, and he was lucky she hadn’t filed insubordination charges against him in his official record. But asking him if Johanssen would be okay, watching the rest of the crew kill themselves in order to save all the supplies for her, and then for her to eat them in order to survive, once the supplies ran out . . .

Well, he hadn’t responded like a doctor in that moment. He had said some things he really hoped Lewis wouldn’t think about.

Unable to help himself, Chris reached out and took Beth’s hand. “I said that medically, it was possible. But that I didn’t think it was a good idea. That . . . that it wasn’t fair to you.”

“Fair to me?” she asked, her fingers lightly pressing against his for a moment. “What about you?”

“Well, yeah, it wouldn’t be fair to the rest of us. You know, the whole dying as heroes thing, not getting to enjoy the parades and honors . . . ” Chris said, trying to sound like he was joking. Mark could have pulled it off, but not him. He didn’t have a sense of humor, as Mark had liked to point out.

“No, Chris--fair to you,” Beth said, emphasizing the last word.

Oh. Wait. Was she . . . ?

Beth suddenly blew out a breath and gave her hair a shake. “I don’t want to think about this. I mean, not for tonight. That’s why I came here.”

Chris nodded dumbly. “Yeah . . . yeah, I don’t want to think about it either.”

“Okay,” she said. “Then . . . movie?”

“Um, sure,” he said, shifting around and trying to reach his laptop without letting go of her hand. Which he was still holding, and damned if he wasn’t going to keep holding her hand for as long as he could.

“I’ve got it,” she said, gracefully going up on her knees to restart the movie. Then she settled back onto the bed, but now closer to him than before. In fact, she was leaning back against his side, almost stretching out on the bed.

Blinking, Chris stared at the laptop screen, trying to take in this turn of events. And then Beth sat up and pushed at his shoulder. “Move up against the other bulkhead.”

He couldn’t help smiling a little. “God, you’re bossy. How did I not know that you’re bossy?”

She smiled back. “No, I just want to be comfortable.”

“And me moving here will make you comfortable?” he asked, moving to sit with his back against the bulkhead at the head of his bed, his legs out straight.

“This way,” she said, crawling up the bed and mirroring his position. But because the bed was so narrow, she had to press against his side, from shoulders to toes.

Chris scooted over towards the bulkhead, but Beth just moved with him. He looked down at her, unable to see her face in shadow due to the reading light shining in his eyes. He stretched his arm over her and reached the switch, flicking it off.

“See? Comfortable,” she said, her words holding a trace of suppressed laughter.

“Mmm,” he murmured in agreement, his eyes beginning to adjust so he could see her face. So he could see how she was smiling up at him.

It wasn’t often that Beth smiled. She was so serious, so private. He had known her for three years and yet, he didn’t feel like he knew her at all. But he trusted her with his life, and felt like she felt the same way.

He had told himself there would be time after the mission to get to know the real Beth Johanssen. But now that their mission would, hopefully, be five hundred days longer . . . he wasn’t sure if he could wait until the end of the mission.

“So . . . have you seen Alien before?” he asked, wanting to start asking questions about her that wouldn’t seem out of left field.

Beth nodded. “I went to the fiftieth anniversary retrospective. Where they showed all the films, leading up to Alien, but I only watched that and Aliens, since they’re the only good ones.”

“Um, wrong, Alien3 and Alien: Resurrection are good, too. I mean, they have Sigourney Weaver in them, so even though they’re not as good, they’re still . . .”  

He had to stop talking, because Beth was shaking her head so vigorously, he was worried she would crack a neck vertebra. “You are so incredibly wrong,” she said. “Not even Sigourney Weaver could save those.”

“Jeez, everyone’s a critic,” he said mock-grumpily, grinning when Beth laughed.

“Someone’s sensitive,” she teased, draping her arm over his waist and rubbing his back. “Don’t worry, I won’t hold your awful taste in movies against you.”

“It’s not my fault I’m a completist,” he argued playfully, enjoying the feel of her hand on his back way too much. “If I start something, I have to finish it.”

“Which means you’re a glutton for punishment. Good to know.”

Chris swallowed and leaned closer to her. “It sounds like you’re saving up a lot of info about me.”

Her hand paused in its movements, resting against the middle of his back. “Well, yeah,” Beth said.

“Why?”

“Because I want to know,” she said simply.

There were no lights on, and barely any light coming from the laptop screen, but Chris felt like the sun was coming up. “Why?” he asked again, grinning at her.

Beth made a little noise of annoyance, but her smile didn’t go away. “The ego on you.”

“I’m a doctor and an astronaut,” he argued, grinning wider. “I think my ego is justified.”

Further inflating his ego, she actually let out a small giggle, a noise he would have never thought he’d hear from serious computer engineer Beth Johanssen.

“I want to know about you, too,” he said, slowly draping an arm over her waist, mimicking her position. “I have from the beginning. I just . . .”

“Held back because of Commander Lewis’s order: no hitting on Johanssen?”

He blinked. “How do you know about that?”

“Mark told me,” Beth said, her fingers lightly stroking his spine. “I’m glad he did. It explained some stuff.”

Nodding, Chris looked at her face. He had spent so much time searching her expressions, looking for clues into who she was. Now that she was looking back at him, so soft and open, it didn’t feel much easier. But it also didn’t feel like his only option.

“Like what?” he asked, letting his forehead rest against hers.

Her gaze flicked over his face, before she met his eyes. “Why you hadn’t made a move.”

“I didn’t want to make things awkward,” he said.

“Me, neither. And then we made it awkward anyway,” she said with a little smile.

Quirking his lips, he nodded. “Y’know what Mark told me? To tell you how I felt. But to wait until the end of the mission to do it.”

“Whoops.”

Chris laughed. “Yeah, whoops.”

With that, neither of them seemed to need to talk more. For a few endless moments, they looked at each other, their hands stroking muscles but not straying from their backs. The movie reached its climax and ended, the laptop’s screen going black.

With the room now in near-complete darkness and Beth only a shadowy form in front of him, Chris still spoke softly. “We’ll need to keep this secret.”

“I know,” she said. “But . . . I’m pretty sure Martinez already thinks something has happened. And Vogel doesn’t care about that.”

“Lewis would care,” he said.

“Yeah,” Beth said with a sigh.

Before the silence got too heavy, he said quickly, “As much as I respect Lewis . . . you matter more to me.”

Beth’s hand shifted on his back, and he braced himself for her to pull away, to put distance between them, to leave the room and him. But instead, she slowly dragged her hand up his side and to his jaw. “You matter more to me, too.”

He smiled slowly, even though he doubted she could see him. “Yeah?”

Her thumb stroked over his cheek. “Yeah.”

Chris shifted closer to her, tilting his head. “You should know, I’m already re-evaluating my position on the other Alien movies.”

He could feel, more than hear, her huff of laughter. “That’s good. Because otherwise, I'd have to make you reconsider. And you know what they say.”

“Huh?”

“In space, no one can hear you scream,” she said, each word a little puff of air against his lips.

“Ah. Yeah . . . let’s find out if that's true,” he said, right before he kissed her.

End.

[the-desolated-quill]

Listen - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Something I’ve been crying out for as we’ve been going through these episodes is something new. Something different. Something that isn’t just the bog standard, monster of the week format that has become boringly commonplace in New Who. Listen provides just that.

Compared to previous episodes, Listen is much more slower paced, atmospheric and contemplative, which makes a nice change of pace. I also like that the Doctor isn’t just randomly landing somewhere and happening upon an evil plot to take over the world this time. Instead we get to explore the more methodical and science-y side to the Doctor’s thought process. He’s developed a theory about creatures that have evolved to be perfect at hiding, and is travelling to different times and places to test that theory. There are really so many different kinds of stories you could tell in a setting as flexible as Doctor Who’s, and Listen proves that in spades.

It seems Moffat is going back to basics with this episode. No complicated plots or wibbly wobbly, timey wimey bollocks. Just a nice, simple story like Blink that draws tension and fear from everyday things. Blink had statues. Listen has the unknown. It plays on the childlike fear of a monster under the bed or hiding from view waiting to get you, and on a first viewing it’s really effective. By far the best scene in the episode is in the children’s home with Rupert Pink and the ‘monster’ on the bed hiding under the blanket. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been properly scared by Doctor Who, but this absolutely terrified me. When I first watched it in 2014, I was cowering behind a cushion, and I think the reason it works is because of the subtlety that’s involved. It’s not in your face like other Who monsters have been. Its fear factor comes from what you imagine is going to happen rather than what is actually happening. The scene at the end of the universe is very effective too because of this reason. Using nothing but some creaking pipes, Moffat is able to create something intensely frightening by letting our imaginations do the rest. Who are these creatures? What do they want? What do they even look like?

And a big, shiny gold star has to go to Peter Capaldi, who after the disaster that was Robot Of Sherwood has been given darker material to work with again, and he knocks it out of the park. I loved his scene with Rupert and his speech about how fear is like a superpower, and what I find very interesting is how this Doctor isn’t very reassuring. We’ve had moments where Matt Smith and Christopher Eccleston’s Doctors were very blunt about the level of danger, but Capaldi is not only blunt about it, he actually adds to the tension and makes these scenes even scarier. He’s not there to protect you anymore and that’s something I’m really not used to seeing, but I like it.

Listen is a very different episode. One that’s refreshingly subtle and smaller in scope and scale, thus giving it a greater impact. But different doesn’t necessarily equal good, and sadly Listen doesn’t work on a number of levels.

Like I said, the episode is really scary on a first viewing. In fact I’d go as far to say it’s just as scary as Blink. But the thing is Blink still holds up on multiple viewings and the Weeping Angels are still just as scary the first time around (obviously we’re not including the sequels here where Moffat started to bastardise his own creations). In Listen on the other hand, once you’ve seen all the twists and turns and had a peek behind the curtain as it were, it loses its fear factor dramatically. And it’s much easier to spot all the numerous flaws in the narrative when you’re not having the living shit frightened out of you.

Was there ever a monster under the bed? The episode kind of leaves it open to interpretation, but I think it’s safe to say the answer is a definitive no. There’s a rational explanation for everything that happens (the thing under the blanket could be another kid playing a prank. The creaking pipes could just be creaking pipes. The Doctor could legitimately have forgotten he wrote something down, etc.). In fact the episode foreshadows this with the disappearing coffee cup that turns out to have been stolen by the Doctor. Also there’s the Where’s Wally joke:

The Doctor: “Where’s Wally? He’s not in this book.”

Rupert: “It’s not a Where’s Wally one.”

The Doctor: “How do you know? You may not have found him yet.”

Rupert: “He’s not in every book.”

It all builds up to the final twist, which is that there is no twist. Fair enough, i guess. Moffat asks some questions and provides some adequate answers. But it’s not exactly satisfying, is it? And it has an adverse affect on future rewatches. When you watch Listen again a second time, you’re no longer wondering what’s under the blanket or fearful at the prospect of what’s behind the locked door. You’re just watching a lump on a bed and listening to some creaky pipes.

There are other things I’m not fond of neither. The whole subplot with Clara and Danny just bored me senseless. Like in Into The Dalek, it’s just the same cliched romcom shit you’ve seen dozens of times before. And Moffat clearly expects you to be invested in their romance despite the fact this first date clearly demonstrates the two have no chemistry whatsoever. No, really! Look at them! Clara is callous and bossy, Danny is overly sensitive and a bit gormless, they’re constantly arguing over every little thing and they don’t really have anything in common outside of being teachers. What possible reason do I have to want to see them together when they’re clearly not suited for each other at all?

Also Moffat seems more concerned with developing the mystery surrounding Danny Pink rather than actually exploring his character. You know? Because big, convoluted mysteries dragged out over the course of an entire series is pretty much the only way Moffat knows how to get us interested in his characters. So who is Orson Pink? Is he related to Clara? I don’t know and I don’t care. The astronaut at the end of the universe could have been anyone really, and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

But the thing that pisses me off most about Listen is Clara. More specifically, how Moffat uses Clara in this episode. I’ve always hated Clara (I may have mentioned it one or several times over the course of these blogs) and Listen really highlights the flaws in her characterisation. Moffat has always had a predilection for female characters that fall into either the mother or dominatrix roles. Clara ends up playing both this time around. She mothers Rupert and then at the end of the episode she takes care of Doctor Jr (oh we’ll get to that. Don’t you worry). Like I’ve said in the past, Clara has no character. She exists solely to prop up the Doctor or whatever male character is important at the time. Hell, in The Name Of The Doctor, she outright says she was born to save the Doctor. That’s her sole purpose in life. Realising the distinct lack of character and independence she possesses, Moffat tries to compensate by throwing all this dominatrix type stuff in in an attempt to make her seem confident and authoritative. She slaps the Doctor again, she tells him to shut up and bosses him around. Except that doesn’t make her a compelling or unique character because all of Moffat’s women behave like this. River Song. Amy Pond. Irene Adler in Sherlock. Their dialogue is pretty much interchangeable. Forcing all of his female characters into these mother/dominatrix roles is not only sexist as shit, it also displays a sheer lack of imagination on Moffat’s part. It’s just boring by this point.

And it only gets worse when you factor Moffat’s humungous ego into the equation. He wants to put his own stamp on the franchise, and fair enough. Except that’s not what he wants to do, is it? He wants to carve his bloody name into the thing and leave a permanent mark on it. That’s why his characters often seem to out-Doctor the Doctor and are the most important people in the fucking universe. That’s why River Song went from being just a future companion that the Doctor hadn’t met yet to being his bloody wife that the Doctor’s entire life revolves around. That’s why Clara was born to save the Doctor and why she seems to have taken charge of the whole show. Not only is she not travelling in the TARDIS on a permanent basis, thus forcing the Doctor to come and pick her up because she’s that special and important she has to have the Doctor permanently on a leash and at her beck and call 24/7, she’s also now able to drive the damn thing. And the Doctor is constantly asking her for validation. For advice and consultation. Let’s not forget Moffat has in the past gone as far as to imply that the Doctor is completely ineffectual without Clara. He’s just thrown the entire dymamic out of whack just so his precious Mary Sue can be the star. And look, I’m all in favour of proactive companions, but at the end of day, it’s not her name in the fucking title. And if the only way you can make your companion interesting is by diminishing the Doctor’s character, you’ve fucked up.

But then Moffat takes it one more, borderline unforgivable step further. Yes, we’re talking about that scene.

Moffat isn’t the first to want to explore the Doctor’s history and add to the mythology. Other writers have done it in the past. From Robert Holmes and the 12 regeneration limit to Andrew Cartmel and the Cartmel masterplan. But one thing you must never do is mess the basics, and one of those basics is the Doctor’s mystery. It’s interesting wondering where the Doctor came from, which is precisely why we shouldn’t know. Finding out the origins of the Doctor wouldn’t make him more interesting. It would diminish him as a character. Which is why I HATE the ending to Listen with a fucking vengeance. Not only should we not be in that barn with Doctor Jr, end of (and on a side note, how the fuck did the TARDIS land on Gallifrey when the planet is supposed to be lost and still in a time lock because of the Time War?), the way Moffat does it is just beyond insulting. The Doctor is motivated by fear?

And the only reason he was able to turn it around and draw from it was because of Clara?

I’m sorry Moffat, but you can fuck right off with that idea. In fact you can take that idea and shove it firmly back up your arse from whence it came.

What’s worse is that it’s his fear the episode revolves around, forcing the Doctor to behave out of character and allowing Clara to step up and take his role in the first place.

Listen is different. I’ll give Moffat that. And it’s bloody terrifying on a first viewing. But it’s also a very shallow and paper thin story that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny and it demonstrates that Moffat’s ego is so massive and so uncontrollable that he’s prepared to piss around with the most vital components of the show he claims to be a fan of in order to leave his mark. Well congratulations Moffat. You have indeed left your mark. And now it’s going to take a very skilled mechanic to repair the damage you’ve done.

[stellamedicum-blog]

The base of my skull is literally vibrating bc of my loud ass music while I’m working on my verses and about page. In the meantime, like this thing for a starter.