#do you think he'd be more normal without catholic guilt

[movietonight]

Still thinking about "tell me that you love me" (sorry) and like Cha Jinwoo is such a sad tortured artist from the start and the more characters you meet the more it's like oh wait a minute the other orphan characters are normal. The other artists too (mostly). The other Deaf characters as well. He's just got poor little meow meow syndrome. It's because he's raised catholic isn't he.

[rolloollor]

Can you tell us something more of what happened to them at the end of Sacerdos et Draco

I hadn't really decided on anything solid before this, but I'll try!

I see the Malleus in Sacerdos et Draco as slightly more mature from the outset. As in, not quite as panicked about loss. That helps the Sacerdos ending not just end up as Malleus repeating his does-something-shockingly-terrible schtick.

Basically, Malleus brings Rollo home. This would be prior to much interaction between fae and humans within the borders of the Kingdom of Briar, so Rollo would be an oddity rather than a representative of the species that had nearly destroyed the kingdom. I imagine other fae would not understand why Malleus would want to marry this short-lived creature, but they'd go along with it.

Malleus is crowned king shortly after their arrival. Even with all that's on his plate, he spends a good amount of time teaching Rollo magic. His ability is far less than a good fae's would be, but he's decent for a human and him mastering more difficult spells is more rewarding for Malleus because of it.

The culture would be difficult for Rollo to adjust to, but I think he'd be more open to it. He has less reason to keep his guard up and he doesn't hate magic on principle. No matter how long he lived there, he would always be the foreigner, but the Kingdom of Briar would be more accepting of some of the fundamental building blocks of who he is (his sexuality, his magical ability, etc) than the church.

In Sacerdos, Jehan's death is at least partially a religious issue. "Jehan used witchcraft, so God killed him." By losing his faith, Rollo might not shed all of his guilt, but I think a decent chunk would evaporate. Also, Malleus gave him an explanation that seemed logical to Rollo and told him there was nothing he could have done. I have no doubt that Rollo would always carry a bit of guilt over Jehan, but in this AU, a lot of it became irrelevant or was soothed. Rollo would have an easier time just living. He can love Malleus out in the open because fae aren't so picky about who can kiss who, he has some purpose in mastering magic in Jehan's stead, etc. Overall, I see him as just... happier. He doesn't have to devote himself to avenging his brother--he can simply be himself.

Though he'd probably take a while to warm up to people, regardless. He would shadow Malleus until he became comfortable in the castle without him. And he turns out to be politically adept, so he helps Malleus quite a bit.

There's no Sebek or Silver in this AU, so I guess Rollo would end up talking to Lilia a lot more than he normally would. Oh, maybe he can chat with Baul...

Would they have children? They don't even know if it's possible, but they might try, again with Malleus carrying the child. Thanks to magic, the fae's infant mortality rate must be way lower than the human one.

No ending between them can be a true happily ever after because of their lifespan difference. But this one is as close as they can get. Rollo lives a full life with his dragon. A part of him can't quite shake those Catholic teachings, so he tells Malleus that he'll wait for him in the afterlife (whether that be hell, heaven, or purgatory). But do fae believe in such a thing? What if the human afterlife and the fae afterlife are different? Would the gods make an exception and allow one to go to the other? I'm not religious, but I am a sap, and I love the idea of Malleus meeting Rollo in the great beyond...

Rollo's death leaves Malleus distraught and he's in full mourning for probably a century. He had portraits and maybe a statue commissioned. Rollo also kept a journal, because he's Rollo, and Malleus would have hidden all of them away so he could read them when he grew lonely. Eventually, like after his death, someone would find them and hand them off to historians, giving them a unique insight to the lone human who lived in the Kingom of Briar. If they had children, then every fae with human genes in the Kingdom until a certain point could trace their lineage to Rollo.

All in all, it's a happier ending than they usually get.

[licncourt]

thoughts on “its hour come at last” at the end of prince lestat? louis’ character development is kind of sudden since we don’t actually see much of him before this point but i like how quiet and private the change in him sounds. i also like how he purposefully dressed in his favorite outfit to go sit in the garden. he is on a date with himself like they tell you to do in cosmo. i wonder if he picked up yoga next.

That chapter is fucking everything to me. I waited ten entire books and most of an eleventh for ANY kind of real update on my sweet, sweet baby boy and I cling to those seven pages with my heart and soul.

As always, I'm very disappointed that there was no dedicated Louis POV book around this point in canon to give some insight into how he managed to get from a suicide attempt in Merrick (his last appearance before PL iirc) to a place where he's not only fully open to Lestat romantically but also so incredibly content. Of course, it sucks that we didn't get much of an in-depth look at how Lestat got to where he is either, stable and honest and ready to be a good partner, but Louis is where it all started. His grief and misery are the root of VC, and I wish so much we would've gotten the catharsis of healing rather than skipping straight to rushed closure.

Still, I really love those few little pages. Like you said, his happiness is very quiet, very introspective, very Louis. His version of happiness isn't loud and obvious, it's just peace, the thing he's wanted since the first book. It's learning compassion for himself instead of trying to alleviate the guilt he's clinging to with martyrdom. At the very least, I'm so happy Anne Rice got that right. More than anything, Louis has been at war with himself for over 200 years. It's actually very healing and beautiful to see him finally let go of that, to become a friend to himself rather than his own punishment.

Even if it's not shown, that has to be the biggest reason he's able to be so open about his love for Lestat at this point, has been able to make peace with his nature as a vampire, has moved forward from the rut of religious trauma, can accept love and care from his friends. So many of his struggles were tied to his inability to stop fighting himself. It's a shame we didn't see that happen, but in the end Anne got it right.

Additionally:

By the PL era, Louis is without a doubt a wellness and self care king, and I think it probably started in the 90s with self-help culture and increasing mental health awareness. Louis is so obsessed with Being Normal that the idea that what was wrong with him had a name and Normalness was something potentially achievable for him must have been huge.

There were concrete steps to take, an societal uptick in empathy for people with mental health issues, then later on a rapidly growing acceptance of gay people and support for those who need it instead of a culture of shame. Finding ways to shed that Catholic need to self-flagellate and start investing in his own well-being sounds like exactly what Louis needs, and just existing in a less hostile world would probably make a big difference, especially one that celebrates self-love. So yeah, he get into that shit big time, first because he wants to be Normal, but then because he's Louis.

Unfortunately for everyone around him, he is also full of himself and has quite the addictive personality, so I'm positive he'd be really annoying about it. He does yoga (moon salutations instead of sun). He goes on cleanses where he only drinks from vegan Crossfitters. He makes everyone use "I" statements during disagreements. He meditates. He has marriage workbooks. He recites self love mantras in the mirror. He has incredibly long and complicated self care rituals for certain days of the week. He does his guided journaling religiously and never shuts up about it. He's a menace to society but no one can really complain that much because look how genuinely happy he is.