#do you sincerely believe the fandom would have been any more receptive to a black man whose only scene is still him lashing out at his love

[dayurno]

what's your opinion on this phenomenon that's currently happening with jeanne, where ppl start acting like shipping a straight ship over a gay one is somehow brave or like disliking a straight ship is problematic? i like both pairings but stuff like this always ticks me off :/

i think it's a misconception of how misogyny works in fandom spaces mostly! because fandom is such an echo chamber we are bound to arrive to conclusions that sound useful to us, but don't actually achieve anything or make any discussions easier to solve or even have in the first place. to me it's very tone deaf that people think the problem with straight ships getting less rep is the problem of heterosexual couples being pushed aside for queer rep (and if the heterosexuality was the problem, then why aren't lesbian ships as widely cared for and expanded upon?) and not the active problem of people refusing to engage with women in media in any meaningful way! but it is misogyny and we get nowhere and achieve nothing by acting like this is an occurence specific to heterosexual pairings when your average aftgamer can't even describe the female characters without using some synonym of girlboss/"(andrew's/neil's/kevin's/jean's/whomever's) best friend/mom"/matchmaker (for a mlm ship, of course) or think of a f/f pairing dynamic that goes beyond holding hands in the backdrop of andreil's wedding

this is something that bugged me a lot a bit earlier in the year when a post going around said k/t would have been more popular if thea was a man. this absolutely negates the problem of racism in the fandom! thea's widespread hatred is very specifically misogynoir, but turning thea into a man still does not erase the fact that the aftg fandom is EXTREMELY anti-black and the male version of her would STILL be hated because the treatment she gets in the books is racist! honestly it drives me up the WALL because at some point it has to be willful ignorance. but we stay balling

[mtjester]

I have finally finished both the meat and candy routes of the epilogue. Full(-ish) thoughts are under the cut, but for the tl;dr crowd: I honestly enjoyed myself, and I’m excited to read more.

First off, and to be totally clear, I am not trying to dismiss anyone’s particular emotional response to the epilogue. I am not here to say, “No, your emotions are not valid.” I’m making my observations just as subjectively as anyone else. So, thoughts:

I believe the epilogue’s main folly, perhaps the main reason it’s not going over well, is that it by nature may only appeal to a fraction of the original audience of Homestuck. 

Homestuck’s original audience was vast, and the interests of the people who read Homestuck are varied. It’s hard to prove whether this is true or not, but it seems that a large, perhaps the largest, chunk of the original Homestuck fandom was interested in character. This epilogue, for that group, is not likely going to be satisfying. The epilogue seems to appeal much more strongly to the section of the fandom interested not only in character but in the overarching themes/conflicts/medium/metafiction of the story. 

The other issue is the density of the epilogue’s existential and metafiction discussions. The level of reading comprehension necessary to not only wade through but also appreciate some of these details is somewhat ridiculous. That’s not out of line with Homestuck, which also has some fairly sophisticated commentary on the nature of self, identity, reality, etc., but it makes the more enjoyable parts of the epilogue somewhat inaccessible. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to discuss these topics in such depth and through such a story without getting a little over the top.

That said, I do think a large portion of the Homestuck fandom, particularly those most concerned with character, forget that Homestuck is at its core an absurd black comedy and occasional satire.

Remembering the villains in Homestuck helps to reframe the story: we have an underling turned god-dog who snaps because of a workplace dress code dispute; we have doll capable of possessing people; we have LITERALLY BETTY CROCKER; and we have a petulant boychild asshole turned muscle skull monster. Are we really going to get mad that Dave Strider’s big turn happens during a conversation with Barack Obama’s projected brain hologram? The precedence for absurdity was set long ago for this sort of thing.

Homestuck does take large breaks from its particular brand of comedy to deal with issues seriously and sincerely, but these instances do not change its nature. While the epilogue wasn’t uproariously funny by any stretch of the imagination, the kernel of absurdity rules it. Why else would Jake English’s ASS be such a big deal on Earth C, like as a plot point and major element of the conflict? The same can be said about the black comedy and satirical elements, which can and do affect characters and plot. 

Even at its start, Homestuck was rather adversarial towards the audience, who literally sent suggestions to Hussie which he often fucked with as an element of his comedy. Based on what Homestuck is and has always been, it’s doubtful we would get an epilogue that was simple, clean, and palatable, especially towards characters. 

About the writing: I have seen it said that the epilogue is an example of bad writing. I’m going to separate the craft of writing and characterization specifically, which I’ll discuss below. As for the epilogue as a piece of prose, I believe it is far from “bad.”

Writing two separate but intimately intertwined stories in itself is not an easy task. It requires careful planning before the figurative pen ever touches paper, and then the effect has be thoughtfully cultivated. The stories themselves are stable, decently well-paced, and sometimes astonishingly poetic.

The way the writers dealt with the overarching metafictional elements is actually brilliant, especially in the meat track. Like, they used a switch from third person perspective to second person as a form of foreshadowing. That’s bananas. I was impressed. Not to mention how Alt Calliope sheds light on it in the candy track, which either foreshadows the shift in control of the narrative if you’ve read it first or else explains its significance if you read it second. Like, shit!

About the mischaracterization, though.Yes, this is an element of writing, but it is also essentially an act of interpretation for any writer, including Hussie himself.

I will use Jade as an example. Did I like her characterization in these epilogues? Largely, no, I did not. I found it uncomfortable. But was it incorrect? That’s the harder question. When Homestuck finished, she was 16, and she had spent the majority of her life alone, often in a state of extreme unhappiness about it. Could she become a 23 year old adult who is the way she is? Well, yeah. Any character could grow up to be sexually liberated, if we’re being real, and she is part dog, which could be construed to affect her libido. She very well could have abandonment issues that could take the form of multiple sexual partners. Her characterization in the epilogues isn’t wrong; it’s just far from satisfying.

Same with Jane. The narrative explains away her behavior as being a subtle result of the Condesce. John even mentioned a thought I had myself: his nanna was Jane, and she just wanted to throw pies and have a good “hoo hoo!” The narrative gives us enough to make her what she is, but it’s not satisfying. Ultimately, the narrative needed a villain to push the conflict, and in a “utopia,” the only recourse is to exploit the dysfunctionalities in the existing powerful characters. In this case, the character needed to support the plot, rather than the other way around. That is, unfortunately, the breaks in this sort of situation.

The one character I was excited about was actually Dirk. I believe that his character was believable, as much as anyone might dislike me for it. Dirk realized that he had the ability, as part of his ultimate godtier self, to destroy the lines between himself and others, to destroy individuality, to essentially take control of everyone’s identities. Given that power, would there be any doubt he would use it to do his “machine and puppets” megalomania bullshit? The narrative makes it clear that he believes he’s doing what’s best for everyone, even if they think he’s a villain for it; to me, that sounds like exactly the sort of think he would do, faced with this situation.

Of course, that’s not to say there isn’t ANY straight up bad characterization. Eridan spoke like five lines and still managed to make me cringe.

The last thing I want to talk about is the sentiment that Hussie has given up, that he doesn’t care, or that he’s actively trying to alienate the fanbase.

I do not believe this to be the case. In fact, I would argue that the epilogue was rather lovingly constructed; as a creative writer, I can see that this text was not a slipshod job.

I believe the problem here is not a disconnect between Hussie and his text; rather, it is between Hussie and his audience, as I mentioned above.

Hussie is a person who writes the brand of comedy I discussed above. While he has grown tremendously since the first days of Homestuck, it seems sometimes that he’s being pigeonholed into a genre of writing that isn’t so much his wheelhouse. The fandom wants him to write a satisfying epilogue that somehow closes Homestuck and ALSO does justice to all of the characters; yet, Hussie’s writing in the past does not seem to lend itself well to this particular kind of conclusion, and neither does the story of Homestuck itself.

I rather believe that Hussie cares a lot but is split between his impulses as a writer, his artistic vision if you will, and the desires of the fandom. I’m not convinced that what we want is also what he wants. I’m also not convinced that what we want is more important than what he wants. After all, what did we pay to read the epilogue? I paid a whole fat boatload of NOTHING. I mean, I donated to the kickstarter, so I would like to see some satisfying reward there. And what has Hiveswap been so far? Characters! Lots of characters. Just what the fandom seems to like the most. But Homestuck? Was it ever meant to get this big, to put him on a pedestal to be boo’d or loved depending entirely on the fandom’s reception of his work, which was perhaps undertaken for his own pleasure as much as anyone else’s?

To conclude, a reader disliking the choices made for the epilogue is not the same as Hussie not caring. Perhaps the thing that Hussie cares less about is sacrificing his own artistic vision for the whims of his readership. The epilogue really is doing interesting things about exploring identity and narrative and the like. Perhaps that’s what he cares about.

Not that anyone has to like him, of course.

I think that’s all for now. I mean, I could have more to say, but I got my words off my chest about it.

[jaroslavlewis]

The Same Old You: What If

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Title: The Same Old You

Chapter 4: What if

Author: Jaroslav Lewis

Fandom: Detective Conan

Pairing: ShinRan with slight KazuHei

Summary: Time has passed for them to believe that they have changed only for them to realize that some things haven't. Some things just don't.

Chapter Summary: The millions of questions in their head trigger a solid conclusion.

Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan and any of Gosho Aoyama's characters. I simply borrow them when I'm bored.

Also you guys may want to check these out for reference and more visuals:

Heiji and Kazuha’s Wedding Theme: https://chicvintagebrides.com/mint-peach-wedding-inspiration/

Ran’s Gown: https://www.lunss.com/gallery/peach-pink-thigh-high-slit-v-neck-a-line-long-prom-gown-1234.html

Guests dressed to kill fill the glamorous wedding venue of the wide and intricately decorated function room of a five-star hotel in Nankai. Heiji and Kazuha's friends and relatives are all seated in an orderly fashion while the soft, wedding music fills the room. From the back of the aisle, behind a divider, the members of the entourage stand. Men and women wearing themed outfits of peach and mint green are all getting lined up by the wedding planner accordingly and by partners in time for the entrance.

Heiji is in his sleek black tux, with a mint green tie wrapped around his neck and a peach rose clipped on his lapel. He keeps pacing back and forth while his parents are in line and are standing behind him.

Shinichi, noticing Heiji's fidgetiness, gets out of the line to give his friend a pat on the back and wish him good luck on the ceremony.

"Nervous?" Shinichi asks. Heiji turns to him with a worried smile.

"Yeah. Kind of. What if she runs out on me? We bickered even while planning the wedding." Heiji says, laughing half-heartedly as he scratches the back of his head. Shinichi shakes his head.

"She won't because if she would, she would've done it years ago." Shinichi chuckles teasingly. Heiji darts a glare at him.

"Are you trying to make me feel better or are you just insulting me?" Heiji asks with an annoyed tone

"Ah. You know what I mean." Shinichi replies raising his arms in surrender. Just then, the wedding planner claps her hands to get everyone's attention.

"Ok, everyone in your places! We are about to begin!" She announces, looking at all the entourage members to check if they are all set. She notices that Shinichi is not in his place. She comes to steal him away from the groom.

"Kudo-san, please go back to your place. And where is your partner?" She says, dragging him all the way to the back of the line.

"Ah. But, Miura-san, I don't have a partner." Shinichi reasons out. Miura-san is about to fret when all of a sudden, a familiar face enters the wedding hall premises. She is wearing a spaghetti-strapped, peach long gown with a low v-neckline and a long slit on the right side that stops far up her thigh. Her hair is in a loose French-braided updo with bangs framing her face. She smiles as she meets Miura-san.

"The bride is all-set, Miura-san." She informs as she approaches her.

"Hai, Mouri-san." Miura responds, before turning to Shinichi. "Kudo-san, she is your partner, okay? Now get to your places because we are about to begin."

Miura practically shoves the maid of honor to the best man. Shinichi is stunned as he turns to Ran, taking in the sight of her lovely presence before him. It his first time seeing her since the party. There is still an awkwardness lingering between them that he badly wants to get rid of.

So, he gives her a sincere smile as he looks at her and offers her his arm, to hold on to as they walk. She stares at him, hesitating at first.

"Hey. I don't bite." He says and she smiles, wrapping her arms around his arm. Suddenly, Shinichi remembers the events from their school trip together in Kyoto, when they visited the Monoyama Palace. He recalls the feeling of her arms clinging onto him when she was scared of the bloody ceiling. He finds himself thinking the same thing as he did, years ago…

'Perhaps, this is too much…'

The line starts to move as Heiji and his parents start walking. The principal sponsors follow and then the bridesmaids with the groomsmen. Shinichi and Ran tail as it slowly moves in sync with the music. He steals a glance at her and she notices so she returns his gaze.

"You look… nice…" He says. He wants to say beautiful but for some reason he is too afraid to say so. Nevertheless, she smiles at his compliment.

"You don't look so bad yourself…" She comments, keeping her cool when deep down her heart is screaming in her chest. Marveling at how handsome he looks and how perfectly his outfit fits him.

They continue to walk together until they are the next to parade down the aisle. Ran feels her legs wobble with every step. Even when she is used to wearing heels, her knees shake with nervousness and anxiety as she feels the people's eyes glued on her. It is also not helping that Shinichi is the one walking with her. Her hold on him tightens and Shinichi notices her stiffness.

"Relax. You're doing great." He mumbles so only she can hear. "Just a few more steps, and it's over…"

Ran gives him a small nod and they continue walking together down the aisle, smiling at Heiji who is standing just by the end, waiting for his bride. With a few more steps, they reach the end. They both can't help but feel tinge of disappointment and longing as they pull away from each other to walk to their opposite sides. Coldness lingers at the absence of each other's hold.

Then Kazuha enters and everyone turns their heads to her as she walks with both of her parents escorting her. She looks radiant in her princess-bride cut, off-shouldered, sweet heart neckline wedding dress. She has a thin veil clipped to her hair that is tied in a very neat bun.

Heiji watches her as she inches closer and closer to him. There is a big smile on his face as he waits for her. She smiles back at him as her eyes meet his. It doesn't take long until she reaches him. Her parents leave her with Heiji who takes her hand in his and together they step on the platform. Heiji helps her with her dress as they face the officiant.

The guests sit and the officiant begins with the intro, followed by a lecture on the sacredness of marriage and the importance of love and commitment.

After which, he proceeds with the rites. Shinichi and Ran leave their seats and walk towards the platform to stand next to the groom and the bride. The ring bearer who happens to be Kazuha's nephew from her cousin, brings the rings up front, handing them over to Shinichi and Ran who hold on to each while they wait for Kazuha and Heiji to speak their vows.

Kazuha begins with hers as soon as she takes a card handed over to her by Ran. She holds it with shaky hands.

"Heiji, you and I go way back to being stuck, handcuffed together as kids, not knowing that this day would come. It's ironic how back then, all we wanted was to be unstuck from each other and now, we're choosing to spend the rest of our lives together. I know we bicker a lot, mostly about the pettiest things. But at the end of the day, you'll always be that person I want to bicker with, that person I want to share my omamori with, that person I'll choose to love no matter the circumstance." Kazuha says, tears of joy brimming in her eyes as she meets Heiji's gaze.

By Kazuha's side, Ran is discreetly wiping the little tears at the corner of her eyes. She quickly steals a glance at Shinichi who is watching the couple before him but immediately shifts his attention to her once he feels her gaze on him. She looks away instantly, avoiding to meet his cerulean eyes but she feels his stare on her, lingering and not looking away even as Heiji starts saying his vows. Unlike Kazuha, he doesn't have any cue cards with him because he wants his to be spontaneous and it is only there, right on the spot that he is able to figure out the right words to say to her.

"Kazuha, for so many years I've been dragging you into a lot of trouble case by case and even as kids just like you said." Heiji begins, chuckling at the thought of their mischievous adventures throughout the years. As he continues, his expression changes into a soft, fond and loving one as he looks into her light green eyes, watching her focusing her attention to him attentively as he speaks. "But out of all those troublesome moments we've had together, there is one memory at the back of my head that I know, would always hold to be special to me. When we were seventeen, you and I almost fell off a cliff together. The branch I was holding on to was breaking and you, in an attempt to save me, wounded my hand with a sharp arrow. But much to your surprise, I didn't let go and I promised you that I wouldn't. Now, here we are, ten years later alive and well. I on the other hand, have a scar on my hand to remind myself of that memory and of that promise that up to this day, I'm choosing to keep."

Shinichi's ears remain with Heiji despite his eyes staying on Ran all through out. He wonders about the promises he could have kept with her, had the situation been different. It is not long after she finally meets his gaze, unable to withstand the burning feeling of his eyes on her.

Sapphires meet Amethysts as their heads are both filled with what ifs.

The couple exchange their I do's and both of them barely pay attention. It is only when it is time for them to hand over the rings that they are able to snap out of their reverie about each other. Heiji and Kazuha share a chaste kiss in front of the altar. The crowd applauds them and so do Shinichi and Ran with their minds hazy with nostalgic thoughts.

The merriment continues at the reception where the guests feast on the delicious buffet banquet while waiting for the program to begin. It is not long after the host of the party, Ichirou, who happens to be one of Heiji's peers in his Kendo Team, taps the mic to begin with the program. He calls over the best man to give a speech.

Shinichi stands from his seat, wiping his lips with a napkin and then taking his glass of champagne while he walks over to the platform, standing next to the mic stand.

The guests focus their attention to him, some of them murmuring amongst themselves, about how they recognize him. Members of the police force who are familiar and whom he and Heiji have worked with talk about how long they haven't seen him and how it's nice for him to be back.

Shinichi clears his throat and raises his glass. He gives everyone a charming smile that makes most of the single women at the event swoon.

"Hey. I'm guessing you all know me for being the other corpse magnet besides the groom." He begins awkwardly, thinking to himself how badly he hates introductions but he continues on. "But today, I'm just Hattori's best man and I plan to stay that way unless anyone of you plans to commit a murder and ruin tonight's festivities…"

The crowd chuckles at his wittiness and dry sense of humor. Kazuha eyes at Heiji, remembering how back in the day, he, for some odd reason and maybe because of pure bad luck, would always, always end up catching a sudden murder case no matter where he goes and even more so when he and Shinichi are together.

From the round table where Shinichi is seated, Sonoko nudges at Ran grinning at her knowingly as she takes a sip of champagne. Ran on the other hand smiles, reminiscing the old days about how Kazuha and her have complained and made jokes about Shinichi and Heiji being cursed. She remembers to thank the heavens, because for the past few days since the two have reunited, nothing of such circumstance has happened.

"Hattori and I have been through a lot, pretty much life and death situations. He can be a big mess, a pain in the ass for the matter, but I can trust him with my life." Shinichi goes on with his speech, making eye contact with the audience as he stands in a calm and collected, manner, looking so regal in his grey tux, just being all genuine and casual as he holds on to his glass. "Anyway, ten years ago, I would have never imagined myself being good friends with this guy. How we met wasn't exactly an ideal way to meet a friend. Hattori regarded me as his rival. Heck he even flew all the way to Tokyo to see if I really am worth comparing to him. He's so impulsive with cases, with everything! But Kazuha-chan was the exception."

Shinichi snickers, glancing at Heiji knowingly and then at Kazuha who smiles at him and then at Heiji.

"I remember, when we were in high school, you went on and about, book after book, website after website, trying to find the perfect place, the perfect event you could take her to, so that you could stage your confession perfectly. Then it's as if the gods don't will it, something bad always happens and ruins the occasion so you had to start over again, and again, plenty of times actually."

Shinichi laughs shaking his head at the memory. From his seat, Heiji scratches his head in a shy manner while Kazuha gushes at him teasingly.

"Then time came and unexpectedly, you blurted out a confession in a place you weren't planning to do so. I remember you giving me a phone call while I was all night studying, catching up with my lessons. At first, I thought you were gonna bother me with another case you ran into in Osaka but you went on for hours, ranting about how you, out of impulse had just confessed to Kazuha-chan on the most unromantic place in the world, how all your plans practically were just flushed down the drain because of what had happened. You were so frustrated about it. You told me, Kazuha-chan deserved all the great things. She deserved the world and you blew it. Then I told you that sometimes, it doesn't matter where it happens or how it happens because sometimes you just have to let things flow naturally. Sometimes, the memories that last a life time are the ones that come unplanned, unexpected." His eyes instinctively search for Ran among the crowd and finds her looking at him with a sad smile on her face, clearly understanding what he meant as her thoughts briefly drift to a memory of his confession in London how everything happened so spontaneously how his eyes showed pure, overflowing emotions when he grabbed her hand and told her how he truly feels.

Then he breaks eye contact with her to look at Heiji and Kazuha. He grins and raises his glass at his two friends. "And not that I'm bragging or saying I told you so, but I guess, I was right, wasn't I? because look at where you guys are now. Congratulations!"

The crowd raises their glasses and he drink the champagne in a few gulps before going back to his seat, walking so smoothly after the impressive toast he made. The crowd applauds him and Ran suddenly feels butterflies surround her stomach. She can't help but marvel at how nice his speech was and how confident he stood in the crowd. Shinichi was always good with words and with carrying himself in front of an audience. Though she can be just as confident she thinks that there is just no way she could match up to his performance.

But Ran stands up from her seat just as he sits down, just in time for the host to call for the maid of honor to come up the platform for her speech. She calms her nerves and tells herself that she can do it, after all delivering a speech is a lot easier than defending a client in court. It should be a piece of cake for her.

Ran smiles at the crowd in an ever so charming way as she raises her glass. She stands gracefully in her silver, strap on high heels, looking elegant that some of the groomsmen couldn't help but be mesmerized by her presence.

"Good evening everyone. I'm Mouri Ran I've been friends with the bride and the groom for a long time now." She chirps in the most adorable manner. She then takes a deep breath and begins with her speech. "When Kazuha-chan and I first met, we got off on the wrong foot because she thought I was trying to make a pass at Hattori-kun…"

There is a collective gasp among the guests. Kazuha an Heiji laugh hard at the old silly memory. Shinichi shakes his head, smirking and remembering how well Ran handled the situation.

"You were so mean to me!" Ran says to Kazuha who continues to laugh.

"That's how I show affection!" Kazuha replies, winking at Ran who shakes her head and then turns to the crowd again to continue with her speech.

"Anyway, it's pretty ironic how right now, I'm standing here today as her maid of honor. We've come a long way and I guess I'm just happy for her and deeply honored to have witnessed their journey together, all those nights I've spent listening to her talk about Hattori-kun for hours whether it's about something sweet he did for her or about something he did that pissed her off, all those trips I spent with them, most of the time, third wheeling, enduring long hours listening to them bicker about the pettiest things…"

The crowd nods in agreement, chuckling knowingly at how likely Ran's statement was.

"With all things said, I have to say that I could never imagine anyone else being more perfect for them." She says, reaching the conclusion part. "They say not everyone gets to marry their great love…"

For a moment her eyes instinctively find Shinichi's in the audience and she immediately breaks their gaze turning to Heiji and Kazuha with a sincere smile on her face. "So I'm relieved and really glad that you guys are marrying yours. Congratulations and I love you both…"

Ran takes a sip of her champagne before approaching Heiji and Kazuha for a hug. She returns to her designated table, sitting right next to Shinichi who is still taken aback by what she said during her speech.

He remains silent. His palms sweating as he thinks hard as if contemplating if it is right to give meaning to what she had just said.

'Not everyone gets to marry their great love…'

Her words ring in his ears as he turns to her with a slight frown on his face as if he wants to say some sort of counter attack to her statement but he doesn't. She then turns to face him as soon as she feels his gaze on her. They don't say anything.

Beside Ran, Sonoko and Sera are starting to notice the tension between them. Sera nudges at Sonoko as if telling her to create some sort of diversion.

Soon enough Ichirou grabs everyone's attention for the next part of the program. He calls on single ladies and single men up front for it is already time for the most awaited bouquet and garter toss.

Sonoko squeals excitedly, standing up to drag and shove Ran and Sera to force them to join. The two whine but are left with no choice as they are surrounded and trapped by a crowd of single ladies who are up to participate in the bouquet toss ever so enthusiastically.

Sonoko comes back to her seat with a triumphant smirk before taking notice of Shinichi who is left sitting with an uninterested look on his face.

"You're not gonna go?" Sonoko asks, rolling her eyes in an annoyed manner.

Shinichi shrugs as he plays with his champagne glass. Just then, one of the groomsmen who happens to be Heiji's highschool friend, tugs on one of the guests whom Shinichi assumes is close friends with Heiji as well.

"Dude, this is just a waste of time. Most of the ladies there are just our classmates when we were in Kaiho." The guest says in a bored manner.

"The pretty maid of honor is joining. Might be our chance to score…" The groomsman says, mischievously.

Shinichi's ears perk up at the subtle mention of Ran. His eyebrows furrow and all of a sudden, he jolts from his seat, standing up rather aggressively, ready to make a beeline up front. Sonoko takes notice of his sudden reaction.

"Changed your mind?" She points out, teasingly.

"On second thought, I'm single so might as well." Shinichi reasons out. There is a hint of defensiveness in his tone before he rushes to the front, joining the group of single men who are playing for the garter toss. Behind him are the two guys, still talking.

"What are the odds that she's gonna get it anyway?" One of them asks hopelessly.

Shinichi smirks knowingly, formulating a solid deduction in his head. He knows that Ran will be very competitive with the bouquet toss, recalling the time when she went to a wedding with her father (and Conan) and she whined about not being able to get the bouquet. Shinichi is well-aware about how much of a sucker Ran is for cheesy things such as those.

Furthermore, he analyzes Ran's place and where she is standing. She is pretty near the front and other than that, her arms are pretty long to reach for the bouquet. If Kazuha is to just throw it at the right direction, she would definitely be able to catch it. Not to mention that she also has good body coordination, balance and attentiveness. So, her chances of getting the bouquet are pretty damn high.

Ichirou gathers up the girls to begin with the bouquet toss. Kazuha stands right in front of them, holding the bridal bouquet of peach roses, accentuated with baby's breath. The girls in their dresses watch Kazuha anticipatingly.

Ichirouo counts slowly from one to three and soon Kazuha swings her arms up to the back, letting go of the bouquet until it shoots up in the air, flying high enough until in descends down to the crowd of ladies reaching for it.

Then it lands on the grip of a lucky, not to mention, very well-coordinated young lady who stands out from the crowd, looking like a goddess in her elegant evening wear. Her eyes widen in shock and her lips curve into a smile at her victory.

She squeals in delight while the rest of the girls let out a disappointed sigh as they turn to leave and go back to their seats. From beside her, Sera gives her a congratulatory pat on the back before leaving to sit next to Sonoko on their table.

As the sea of single ladies dissipate, Ichirou approaches the triumphant young lady. Kazuha on the other hand, giggles excitedly, happy that it is her who caught it. She claps her hands and cheers her on as if saying, "It's about time!"

"Looks like the maid of honor might be next in line with the bride." The host comments into the microphone. "So, Mouri-san, do you see anyone from our group of gentlemen whom you are rooting for tonight?"

Ran blushes as she scans the crowd of men she barely knows until she finds him among them, the only one she knows, the only one she'll probably be comfortable with but also not so. Her heart is torn. She loves his familiarity but she knows it's also dangerous for her. For both of them…

Ichirou waits for an answer from her and holds the microphone up to her chin so she can reply for everyone to hear.

"I don't know. May the best man win, I guess…" She says in attempt to be unbiased, not knowing the little unintended pun in her statement that could be well twisted by everyone and by most of her peers who know about their past.

From the crowd of garter toss participants, he stands with cheeks red as a tomato from what he just heard. He tries to avoid giving it too much meaning. He is well-aware that it isn't what she meant, but his imagination messes with his head and pumps adrenaline up to his stream.

Then he imagines a white lacy garter going up to her thigh and what else could make such moment better if he were the one to put it on her?

'That's it.' He tells himself, his game face is on. 'I should win. I'm gonna win.'

It takes seconds for Ran to realize the gravity of her statement and as expected, Sonoko, Sera as well as Heiji and Kazuha are already misinterpreting what she had just said. Ran opens her mouth, in an attempt to take back her words but it is already too late. The host is able to catch on very quickly.

"The best man, you mean, Kudo-san?" He teases. Ran's face turns a deeper shade of red.

"That's not what I meant!" She denies defensively but Ichirou ignores her and carries on.

"Ah you heard that, Kudo-san! You got an advantage here! But of course, don't underestimate these men of the west that you are competing against." Ichirou reminds, jokingly.

The guests react and join with the teasing while Ichirou gathers up the men to get ready for their part of the game. He also helps Heiji and Kazuha set up at the center, grabbing a chair for Kazuha to sit on while Heiji does his business with the garter.

An upbeat, sensual, RNB music plays. The crowd cheers for the newly-wedded couple. Heiji kneels in front of Kazuha who sits staring down at him, her face flushing crimson red as he lightly hoists the skirt of her wedding dress up to her thighs, his fingers brushing through her soft fair skin as he reveals a white lacy, bridal garter wrapped around her right thigh. She lifts her leg just slightly to give him better access as he leans down, pressing his lips against the skin of her thigh, taking the thin fabric between his teeth.

The crowd squeals and so does Kazuha who covers her blushing face with her two hands as Heiji tugs on the fabric, bringing it down until he is able to take it off of her. He fixes her skirt, to cover her legs again he stands to give her a soft kiss on the lips and then pulls away. Raising the bridal garter in the air. Kazuha then stands, giving her seat to Ran. She pats Ran's shoulder encouragingly. Ran responds with a shy smile.

The crowd hollers as Heiji prepares to toss the garter to the group of hopeful men. He lightly stretches it and then releases it, catapulting high in the air.

Shinichi's eyes follow intensely as it descends, preparing his body to move, to push anyone if he has to. Men behind him push and reach of it. Then in falls on the ground and Shinichi strides, sliding even on the floor to swiftly retrieve it before any of his opponents do.

He stands up, dusting his tux and raises it triumphantly in the air with a big grin on his face. Heiji is shocked but clearly pleased as he gives Shinichi two thumbs up before giving the floor to him. From her seat, Ran finds herself sighing in relief unable to register what was bound to happen next.

All around Shinichi, the men disperse, sighing defeatedly as they all head to their respective seats. He is left standing right in front of Ran who is sitting still, holding Kazuha's bouquet.

Just then Ichirou approaches them, stealing the show. He claps his hands, clearly impressed by the turn of events.

"Well, this seems very interesting." Ichirou said smirking teasingly at the two. Ran keeps her head down as her hold on the bouquet tightens. Shinichi casually places his hands in his pockets, grinning sheepishly.

"Looks like Mouri-san's wish was well granted. Also, Kudo-san seems to have really fought for his place there." Ichirou added, eliciting a reaction from the audience. Most of the guests who know about the two's controversial past murmur amongst themselves. These people being members of the police force who are very familiar with Ran's father, the notorious sleeping detective, Mouri Kogoro and have worked with both Shinichi and Heiji.

"Ah well…" Shinichi says, scratching his head awkwardly.

Ichirou being the attentive host, senses something going on with the two's body language and with the reaction of the people especially with Heiji and Kazuha's who are just nearby, snickering.

"I sense a little something-something between you two…" Ichirou further teases, prompting another reaction from the audience. Shinichi and Ran both raise their hands and mumble an incoherent denial of the fact when among the guests a tipsy Sonoko stands, wobbling as she tries to maintain her posture.

"They're exes!" She hollers, her voice echoing in the whole venue. Ran wants to scream and scold her but she remains silent, turning pale, in her seat with her mouth running dry. Suddenly she wishes she could just disappear in thin air.

'That Sonoko…' Shinichi thinks to himself, leaving a mental note to come for her later when the party's over.

Ichirou gives the two an intrigued stare, nodding as if to say, "I see…" He clears his throat to proceed with the rest of the program.

"Well I hope this doesn't make the two of you uncomfortable." He says with a concerned look on his face. Shinichi shrugs.

"I can take one for the team." He assures, turning to Ran as if to ask for permission from her. Ran on the other hand, raises an eyebrow at him, thinking that he is challenging her. She cracks her neck to the side and then stretches her arms, still holding the bouquet with her right hand.

"Bring it on, tantei-san." She says provokingly, earning a startled expression from Shinichi. She turns to Ichirou to assure him, "We're in good terms by the way. So, it's okay…"

"Okay so let's begin and hope that this little game helps old feelings resurface, ne?" Ichirou says, jokingly.

Both Shinichi and Ran flinch at the statement, feeling their hearts throb against their chests. The loud music boosts from the speakers and they both wonder if the loud base is the one causing such.

Shinichi nods. He glances at Ran and then kneels down, gently reaching for her right foot in an embellished, strappy, silver high-heeled shoe. He gently slips the white lacy bridal garter up to her ankle and pauses.

"May I?" He asks in a soft tone, almost inaudible for Ran to hear because of the loudness of the music. Ran nods approvingly and Shinichi gently parts fabric of her peach dress's skirt, right where the slit is, revealing the soft, smooth skin of her long, well-toned right leg.

Shinichi gulps at the sight and bites his lips. Ran turns a deep shade of red as she observes his body language, her grip on the bouquet tightening with every slow second the passes.

He goes down and takes the light fabric of the garter between his teeth, gently tugging at it so that he could pull it up and higher, his lips and teeth making light contact with her soft, smooth skin. Ran watches intensely as he goes higher. She feels his lips brush against her inner thigh. Goosebumps creep to her skin and shivers run down her spine as she feels his lips against her, curving into a smirk.

Shinichi's heart swells with pride, amazed with how well he still knows her body and how smoothly he is able to slide the garter up to her thigh. By the time he is finished, Ran already has the bouquet of flowers up to her chin to hide her blushing face and her lips which she bit out of restraint. She then exhales as he pulls away from her, unaware that she has been holding her breath the whole time his lips were making contact with her sensitive skin.

He lightly adjusts the delicate fabric of her dress, back in its original flow, hiding her exposed skin. He looks up at her and smiles. Once again, their eyes meet and they both feel as if they are the only ones in the room.

Then the crowd cheers, waking them from their reverie. Shinichi stands and so does she. Ichirou cheers into the microphone.

"Let's give it up for the best man and the maid of honor for giving us a good show!"

The two glance and smile at each other, wondering if the events really are just but a mere show for both of them.

The best man and the maid of honor stand from a distance, watching the bride and the groom dance to a sweet melody on a platform. The crowd cheers. He smiles and so does she. Together, along with the rest of the guests, they raise their glasses.

Shinichi takes a sip from his glass of champagne. From his peripheral vision, he notices Ran doing the same. He sets the glass down the table and he continues watching Heiji and Kazuha, arms around each other, looking at each other eye to eye with happiness painted on their faces.

For a moment, his mind drifts somewhere else. He imagines himself in Hattori's place and Ran in Kazuha's. He sees Ran all dolled up in an embellished, lace and tulle, V-neck, A-line wedding dress, the same dress he saw her in a few days back. She smiles as she looks up at him and his sapphire eyes meet her amethysts. The world seems to stop and then…

"Do you think…" He says absentmindedly, still in his dreamland.

'We'll ever be like them?'

His words soon falter into silence as soon as he realizes what he was about to say. He purses his lips and shakes his head. Perhaps it was the alcohol talking. He'll never understand. He peers over to his side, at Ran who is still focused on Heiji and Kazuha while they dance away to dreamland as if they are in their own world. She has a sad smile on her face. He holds his breath as he prays, she did not hear him.

But it is already too late.

"We'll never be like them…" She says, sighing with remorse, answering his implied question. She turns to glance at him, at his tall frame. Even when she is in heels, Shinichi is still taller than her.

Shinichi in turn, avoids her gaze and awkwardly places his hands in his pockets. He nods and sighs with the same amount of remorse as she had just done.

'She's not yours. Not anymore… ' He says in his head as a reminder. His heart breaks.

The music shifts into an upbeat one and the guests cheer once again, they gather around the dance floor to join the bride and the groom. Ran turns away to leave. Shinichi follows her, he almost loses her in the crowd.

And then he finds her sitting by the bar, finishing off her glass of champagne. He steps closer to her just behind her, admiring the view of her exposed back as she is wearing an elegant, backless, peach-colored dress. He admires how beautifully it compliments her skin and her frame.

He hesitates to approach her but then she rotates the stool, turning to face him. She crosses her legs, exposing the fair skin of her right leg since her dress has a long, revealing slit.

He catches a glimpse of the white lacy garter that he put on her earlier during the traditional bouquet and garter toss game. He remembers the feeling of her soft smooth skin against his lips.

Ran catches him staring at her exposed skin. She modestly pulls the fabric to cover herself. She blushes and so does he.

She clears her throat and pats the stool next to her, inviting him to sit and so he does.

"Gin on the rocks." He tells the bartender who proceeds to fix his drink.

Ran glances at him strangely he turns to her as he feels her gaze at him. He smiles. She doesn't need to ask. He could tell by the look of her face what she is thinking.

"It was a defense mechanism. I started drinking the cocktails that resembled their names to get over the trauma after what happened…" He explained and Ran nods.

The bartender sets down Shinichi's drink and Shinichi takes it in his hand he looks at the glass as he lightly shakes the liquid and ice inside.

"It makes me think that I'm in control of them…" He says before bringing the glass up to his lips, taking a gulp of the alcoholic drink.

Ran finds herself staring at him. Her eyes dart at his lips and she remembers how they felt against her skin, when he was pulling the garter up to her thigh using his teeth. Then she stares at his Adam's apple, moving as he gulps. She absentmindedly bites her lips but she snaps out from her reverie when he sets the glass down, making a sound as it makes contact with the table. He winces at the bitter after taste. Ran sets aside her champagne and then avoids his gaze. They stay silent, not knowing what to say to each other.

"The night is young… Let's dance…" He says impulsively and Ran gapes at him, bewildered. Shinichi chuckles at her reaction.

"Dancing with your ex? Don't you think it's weird?" She asks, bringing the glass of champagne to her lips but not drinking anything from it instead, she stains the rim of the glass with her lipstick.

"But I'm not dancing with my ex." He says, taking her free hand and the sudden contact sends shivers down her spine. She turns her attention to him and looks at his cerulean eyes. Suddenly she remembers how easily she could get lost in them. "I'm dancing with my childhood friend…"

He smiles and so does she. He stands up and she does too. Her dress flows freely against her frame, accentuating her perfect body figure in a modest but sexy way. Shinichi couldn't help but feel mesmerized as he pauses for a moment to look at her before he lightly drags her along with him. Ran's champagne glass soon lays forgotten by the bar as they head towards the dance floor. Suddenly the upbeat music shifts into a soft one as if on cue. Couples start to slow dance and then Shinichi and Ran feel awkward again. Feelings resurface and they continue to repress them.

Ran looks around and then turns to Shinichi. She has a hesitant look on her face. Her eyes are filled with anxiety and so many questions are going through her head. Shinichi feels his heart racing but he gives her an assuring smile.

"Just one song. A couple of minutes and it's over…" He promises her. She nods.

Shinichi guides her hands to his shoulders before he wraps his arms around her waist. His fingers graze the exposed skin of her back. She flinches at his touch but she comfortably wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

She looks at him and silently admires how handsome he is in his gray tux. Unknown to her he is doing the same, savoring the moment, thinking about how lovely she looks in her peach dress and done-up hair.

Then he remembers he only has roughly three minutes, four or five at the most to hold her. So, he pulls her closer to him and rests his chin on her shoulder. She is taken aback by his actions but she doesn't push him away instead she returns his embrace and steadies her breath as she feels him breathing against her neck.

They continue to lightly sway to the rhythm, listening to the music but mostly thinking to themselves how they could only wish for time to stop for a moment or maybe for the song to go on longer…

To go on forever.

The bridge of the song comes and Shinichi, unable to control himself, lowers his head just a little so that his lips would meet her exposed shoulder. Shivers run down Ran's spine and she heaves a soft sigh. He leaves soft kisses against her shoulder, tracing up to her jawline and then to the crook of her neck, then to her cheek. Her hands travel from the small of his back and then up to brush her fingers gently against his dark brown hair.

Shinichi pauses just a millimeter away from Ran's face. His lips almost touching hers. She could literally breathe in his breath that smelled of Gin and… peppermint, quite an odd combination.

Then the last note of the piano instrumental plays and fades into silence. Ran snaps back and Shinichi wakes into reality.

"So, that's one song… Time's up." She says in a tone almost inaudible for him to hear and she gives him a half-hearted smile. She steps away from his embrace and he abruptly feels her warmth leaving him.

Then she turns around and walks away, leaving him alone, his feet stuck to the floor as he was startled by what just happened. He shakes his head regretfully and sighs.

'Damn it. What have I done? '

He watches her back as she walks away. The farther she goes, the smaller she looks from where he is standing. Soon she disappears among the crowd. He is left alone thinking to himself if he is allowing for her to walk away from him again.

His heart throbs painfully at the thought. There is a part of him that wants to give her space. All the events that happened are probably too much for her and for both of them. Maybe he needs space too, but it hits him, how long they have been running away and holding back. He is leaving in two days. It took him ten years to see her. How much long will it take for him to see her again and moreover is he willing to let things just end in such way.

He feels it deep with in him.

There is still something there.

Over ten years, a lot has happened. He has changed and he is certain she has too. Maybe they both have but somehow, oddly enough their feelings still haven't.

And it may not make sense to some. Heck, it doesn't make sense to him and probably to both of them and maybe that's the reason why they both keep running away.

But maybe that's just how it is.

Maybe that's just how it's suppose to be.

Him and her…

So, he doesn't give it much further thought. He moves and strides until he catches sight of her, by the door leaving the function hall. He quickens his pace until he is out running, catching up to her by the empty halls. He startles her as he grabs her by the arm, making her turn her to face him.

"Shinichi!" She gasps at the sudden contact and the feeling of his strong grip against her elbow. Suddenly, the scenario feels all too familiar.

"Ran, don't run out on me like that…" He says, huffing a breath as he lets go of her arm, only to place both of his hands on her bare shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Ran places her hands on his chest, putting a distance between them. Her eyes are filled with worry as she meets his intense gaze.

"Shinichi please…" She begs, her push becomes hard, but he doesn't budge and instead his hold on her tightens. She keeps her voice calm. "Let's not get too carried away."

"So, what if we do get carried away? What's wrong with that?" He asks bluntly, catching her off guard. She stops pushing and his hold on her loosens.

She pauses for a brief moment and then she shakes her head.

"Let's stop. All this, it's just temporary. We're-" She takes a second to find the right words. "We're just caught up in the heat of the moment. It'll die down once this ends."

"No, it won't." He retorts, stubbornly shaking his head. "If it's us, it won't. With you and me, it's never off the table and you know that!"

Suddenly, Ran can't believe her ears. Her mouth is agape with surprise at how bold and quite unreasonable he is being.

"For god's sake, Shinichi. You're leaving in two days!" She tells him, raising her tone at him to remind him sternly about the reality that is to happen.

"Then I'll do something about it!" He answers in a heartbeat, clearly not giving it much thought, which causes Ran to become even more furious with him than she already is.

"And what exactly would you do, huh?!" She contests, hoping that he will come into his senses. After all, he is supposed to be the smarter one.

But maybe he just isn't anymore.

"I'll… I''ll stay." He says. His eyes are intensely looking at her, clear with resolve. She is blown-away by his sudden decision and impractical impulsiveness that he has chosen.

"What?" Her eyebrows furrow at his statement, giving him a chance to think about what he had just said and take it back while he still can. But he doesn't.

"I'll stay. I'll go back to Tokyo, with you." He adds instead and it sends her off the edge.

"Don't be stupid! Your life is in New York! You can't just throw away everything else just for this." She reasons out and she has a clear point. He is aware of it but it drives him crazy-furious and frustrated. He wonders why she always has to be right and he knows at that moment she is but it makes him so angry.

Maybe it is immature of him, maybe she is right but to him, it isn't just that.

And he knows no matter what, she'll always, always give way to others, thinking about their well-being over hers, choosing what's best for them instead of what she truly wants.

She is so kind. Too kind. He loves her for that but in a way, he also hates it about her. How she priorities others before herself, how she is always thinking about his needs and belittling herself because she thinks his dreams are bigger than her.

And maybe he is wrong but there is no in the hell way that she is just that.

Because to him, she is so much more.

She is bigger than anything else, bigger than New York.

She is everything.

Everything.

"Damn it Ran! Can you be selfish, just this once!" He bursts. "I don't have to be a damn detective to tell. I feel it. And I know you feel it too."

He pauses to steel his nerve and to steady his voice that is raising by the minute that they are pushing and pulling at each other.

"Tell me you want me to stay… And I'll stay…" He says, with a tone much softer than his out bursts. The silence lingers between them and her expression softens. He lets go of her shoulders, taking her hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to press a soft kiss on her knuckles before placing it on his chest, to make her feel his heart beating so rapidly just for her. He looks her in the eye, his gaze pleading.

He waits for an answer and she lingers, opening her mouth to say something but it takes a while before she does.

She knows deep in her heart that she so badly wants him to stay. But…

There is always a 'but'.

"I… I can't. I'm sorry." She says, taking her hand from his grip. Shrugging off his hold and turning her heel to walk away from him, this time successfully as she leaves him standing startled and quite heart-broken and distraught by her answer.

He sits on a chair in his small hotel room, thinking about the events earlier as he twirls his glass of Paikaru. On the table near him sits a bottle of the alcohol with a card indicating that it is given to him by Hattori.

He shakes his head and flinches as he remembers what had just transpired between him and Ran. Suddenly he feels stupid. He brings the glass up to his lips and gulps it all down his throat, feeling the burning sensation flow through, the bitter aftertaste lingers. He hates it, but he pours more anyway, as if it is gonna solve his problem and undo what he did and what he said earlier, maybe forget about it at the very least.

But he thinks about her still. His thoughts become hazy as the alcohol starts to kick in and mess with his system. He loosens his tie to breathe as the heat spreads across his whole body. He isn't drunk but he is at the very least, tipsy.

He wonders about what is about to happen, given the confrontation that happened. He concludes that things have gone much worse now. Ran would probably never have the heart to forgive him and it sucks because he just ruined everything.

Ran would never talk to him again and he is leaving in two days with her, mad at him. He realizes that he should have just left it at that. It is already good enough that they are friends, why did he have to ask for more?

And now this is what he gets for not being contented. It took him ten years to come back and see her again who knows how long till he returns after flying back and if he'll ever patch things up with her.

He is about to gulp down another round of Paikaru when a knock wakes him to his senses, disturbing him from his moment of remorse. He rolls his eyes, annoyed and stands up, practically dragging himself to the entrance of his hotel room, turning the knob and opening his door violently, thinking that is probably just one of his friends being bothersome.

"Now's not a good time-

He begins but is immediately cut off as he finds her outside, still in her beautiful dress. He blinks about twice, questioning his senses, thinking that he is already too drunk that he is seeing things he isn't supposed to see, but she stays there. Her cheeks stained with a faint blush as she looks him in the eye.

"What are you doing here?" He asks. There isn't any contempt in his tone. It is just a mere question because after what had just happened, he is sure as hell that she would never want to see him again, but she is there.

She steels her nerve as she thinks of a reply.

"I'm being selfish. Like you told me to." She finally says, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Shinichi is unable to process her words as she closes the very little distance between them and smashes her lips against his, taking them in a very rough, very heated kiss. His eyes widen in shock, startled by her actions and sudden boldness, but it doesn't take him much time to think as his mind is hazy with the feeling of her, the taste of her. He lets himself drown in her, shutting his senses as he responds and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her close as he tilts his head and brushes his lips against hers, slipping his tongue into her mouth which she opens just enough to grant him access. He tastes the faint bitter taste of Vermouth, the sweetness of Maraschino cherries and her all combined in something so intoxicating and addictive it makes him want more.

She steps forward and he steps back without breaking the kiss. The door closes behind them. He holds her body against him even more closely as if it were possible.

He is sure. This time around, he is never gonna let her go.

AN. So here it is! Sorry it took a while. I was so busy with work lately that I haven't had the time to post this on time with the schedule that I planned. So, thank you so much for waiting. I've received lots of words of encouragement and it really means a lot to me that you guys are patiently waiting. Anyway, there are about only two or three more chapters until this fic ends and I would just like to warn you guys, (IDK if it's not obvious for y'all) but the next chapter is gonna contain lemon. Ahhh. I'm excited and at the same time nervous about it. Really hoping to post the next update soon.

Also, for those who are reading on FF/AO3, what do you guys prefer, should the lemon chap be included in this compilation, thereby making this one Rated-M as a whole fic or should be in a separate post so that that chapter alone will be the only one that's Rated-M and the rest of this fic will remain to be Rated-T?

What do you guys prefer? Tell me what you think.

Thank you so much and see ya on my next update!

~J

Fanfiction.net link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13195514/4/The-Same-Old-You AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17626277/chapters/42683639

NEXT CHAPTER

[neni-has-ascended]

What are your thoughts about Marie from P4G? She seems to a contrversy in the fandom so I would like to know your opinion about her and her role in the game.

Ahhh, to Marie or not to Marie. The old song and dance of love, betrayal and the fandom ripping each other’s heads off in the neverending cycle of waifu wars.

To give you my take on the issue:

Short Version: I like the character. A lot. Love her, even. 

Long Version:

When I first played Persona 4 and was made aware of the fact that “The Golden” had some additional content I had no chance to experience yet, I was fully prepared to hate her. What I saw go around in the Fandom were horror stories of badly written dialogue, character derailing escapades and a character who has no business being there taking over the entire narrative. Additionally, I wasn’t really sold on her design, since her fashion style seemed pretty badly out of place for P4.  So that’s what I went in expecting. A one-note plot device character who’d make my experience worse for it.

Then I actually played P4G and realized that absolutely nothing of what I’d heard was true. Instead of the “obnoxious Tsundere Mary-Sue” I was warned of, I was greeted by a very well-woven in story about a lost girl trying to deny her own loneliness and confusion by distracting herself with the material world and channeling her emotions into secret writings. In many ways a typical teenager, but the way she acts isn’t romanticized at all. It’s ridiculed where it deserves to be ridiculed and treated seriously where it deserves to be treated as such. At no point is she framed as some great, romantic “ARTEEEST” whose suffering makes her a bigger person. She’s just somebody desperately trying to not feel lost. Everything she does, having the protagonist take her out, her stance on consumerism (which she seems to embrace), her constant boredom and impatience, and her poems are symptomatic of how desperately she wants to *not* talk about her real issues that are making her hurt, simply because she doesn’t know how to talk about them. That is, of course, because she’s actually a fragment of Izanami which once rebelled against the goddesses’ corrupted desires and was cast out for it, now resigned to forgetting about its own ideals, which adds a whole layer more to the character. She’s the embodiment of a desire for people’s most honest, sincere wishes to come true, but since Izanami has abandoned her, she can no longer believe in the very ideal that makes her up, hence why she’s so resigned to materialism and living out her own desires only in secret. Additionally, the fact that she’s not actually human makes it hard for her to understand human social norms (just how Izanami doesn’t actually understand humans either), so she often acts terribly out-of line, which is where we get the “Tsundere Archetype” accusations from. However, unlike most cases, Marie is actually a GOOD execution of that character archetype: Not only is her “Tsundere-ness” not just an expression of embarrassment towards a guy she has a crush on (she acts like that towards EVERYONE, not just him), she also has damn good reasons to act like that, since she never actually learned about social guidelines. 

Still, I am not surprised the fandom is often as opposed to her as they seem to be. As soon as I’d decided that I actually really like Marie, I felt immediately reminded of the exact same thing happening with a character in another fandom I am big on: Xion from Kingdom Hearts received pretty much the exact same cold initial reception from the fandom as Marie did. And that even though in character analyses she tended to be called a “very good character”. 

Of course, the parallels between the cases are immediately visible: Both characters are black haired girls who were added to their respective games in retrospect by the way of expansions to the stories, turn out to be deeply important to the story and lore the players have cared about ever since before they knew this character exist, also turn out to be intrinsically connected to an important canon character, and their absence from the initial release ends up being explained with “All memories of them were destroyed when they died, BUT you now have a chance undo that!!!!”. They are perceived as somehow acting as a “forced love interest” towards a major character. 

It’s pretty clear how a character like that would irk players, who might already have invested hours and hours into doing fanwork and crafting fan-theories that do not involve said character. It can be extremely frustrating to have your image of canon foiled like that by a retroactive update to the narrative. However, in both cases I think the kneejerk reactions were actually greatly overstated:

Even though both, Xion and Marie, change something about the lore they were introduced to, the changes are not so great as one couldn’t accommodate for them with ease, a love-relationship with a main character is only implied as a possibility in both cases (In fact, with Marie you can deny taking her down a lover’s route, just like you can with any other character, and with Xion I’d argue it isn’t there at all outside of Axel’s overinterpretation; Xion and Roxas’ relationship seemed strictly platonic or brother-sisterly to me) and, again, timelines where the characters have been erased from existence still exist in both cases, so if you really don’t want to involve them, you can still set your fanwork within those timeframes/timelines. 

If anything, I see Marie’s - and by extension, Xion’s - case as a cautionary tale for writers as to what kind of violent reactions to expect from your audience if you decide to introduce important elements retroactively, as to opposed to putting them into the story right away. No matter how well done those elements are, there will be fans who just can’t find it in them to accommodate to that sudden change in the lore. That’s just how it is.