#do you really think a non-believer can't come to faith in Christ if they are in a relationship with a believer?

[imperatorhattrick]

Actually, you are stupid! Every single person who didn't grow up in a Christian household, believing in Christ as a child, is a convert. At first they didn't believe, and then one day, they did! It's more than possible to date someone who doesn't believe, and then guide them to saving faith in Christ over the course of your relationship. If you don't think this possible, you are genuinely stupid!

"i would date a non-believer but they must convert to marry'

genuinely, are you stupid? conversion isn't just a simple choice, you either actually believe or you don't

[artist-issues]

You're my new favorite blog! You have no idea how I wish I could peck inside your brain like a chicken. 😭😂😂 I am a Catholic and a recovering agnostic. I struggle with letting go of my old way of life and philosophy constantly, I have been struggling with it since the day I decided to revert - that was back in 2017. (I think you would like to know my journey back to the Faith started after watching HBO's The Young Pope! 👌🏼) At this point I don't know if I'll ever be the person the Lord wants me to be, oh well, I'll die trying and I know that will mean something.

I just know I can't go back to being a non-believer, because as Carl Young said, now I don't just believe, I know. The irony is my struggle to believe in something I know to be objectively the Truth.

I have a question for you though, actually I hope for some advice from you. How do I reconcile with the reality that I haven't become who I dreamed to become (like career wise), but now that a new career has been shoved upon me (a career my parents wanted for me - and they valued safety and stability over "following my dreams" I suppose)? ...which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because it is an extremely noble profession and it pays quite well.

The thing is, as much as I try to accept my new career, I keep telling myself and to others that I'm doing this for my parents and not because I want to be here. I feel terrible about it. But, again, it's not like I am unfulfilled (I am unhappy though, but that comes with the work culture/environment, I feel like I am surrounded by 40+ year old teenagers); as a matter of fact, I do think I know - objectively - in my heart that this is exactly where the Lord wants me to be? But I keep fighting against it, keep struggling against this sense of vocational calling that I'm feeling towards my new job, instead I desperately wanna give into my want to go "live the life I want." Like throw this all away, get new training and start all over with the career I wanted all those years ago.

I want to be better, to be sacrificial like Christ on the Cross. I've always known I had a little depression (comes with my disability from a young age and this whole dream thing); I have been suicidal over this, I actually used to joke with myself that I'd kill myself if I don't achieve my professional goals by the time I turned 25. I will turn 30 this September and even though I haven't been literally dead, I feel like I've been in a vegetative state - mentally - ever since the day I turned 25. I hope that makes sense.

I started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago since my mental health started affecting my new job - she did say I have depression and is trying to help me but I just don't know if I want to be helped at all, because I am unable to do the exercises she tells me (like create a routine, exercise well, write down good thoughts, etc.) I feel like I'm failing myself, my parents and, most importantly, my Heavenly Father.

I apologise if this is nonsensical, I apologise for dumping all of this on you - random stranger on the internet - but idk I felt like maybe you'd have something wise to tell me to knock some sense into me (without a bump to prove it hehe).

Thank you and God bless! 🥰

You’re very kind, and I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to share all this with me! I really never have anything good of my own to say, or any wisdom to offer, except what I “steal” from God…and I guess what I mean is, if I ever say anything helpful or good or true, I’m just the messenger. I didn’t come up with it. On my own I have zero wisdom or good things to offer.

Anyway, I was surprised reading this because I have gone through (been going through) a similar sort of mindset. I went to school for the career I dreamed about (still dream about) and I worked hard and I wanted it more than anybody around me (very Mike Wasowski in MU of me) and it hasn’t happened the way I planned, or in my timetable.

I mean, in all humility: I work with a studio making a tv show, but it hasn’t got off the ground yet, and I work for a company that writes movie reviews, but neither of those things pay my bills. I have a third job, working with therapists, that’s nothing like what I always wanted to do. That’s my “career,” but it’s not the career I’m passionate about and working toward. And I wonder if I’ll ever do anything “major” in the line of work I love and went to school for. And when I do, I have gotten into some really dark mental places.

Forgive me for not using the words “depression” or “suicidal.” I hate using those words because they’re overused and romanticized and flooding the culture. But more importantly I hate using them because the only thing I identify with is Christ, not any mental struggle I try to slither back into, like a snake trying to put back on old skin. I’m not my overthinking—I’m not my depression—I’m not my suicidal thoughts or emotions—I am one with Christ. Those are things inside me that are defeated and dead—the teeth have been knocked out of them. They just gum me from time to time. So I want you to know I empathize with you, but that’s my point and that’s how I want to answer you:

The only thing about you that really matters is Christ.

Who He says you are, what He has done and how He lived, which is applied to you because He said it is, by grace alone, through faith alone. No matter how you feel.

And I say that to you, as the answer, because I think you and I focus too much on what could be and what “should be” as if God has a set path for us, and if we don’t figure out what it is and walk it, we’ll have a less-fulfilling life. “If I stay at my therapy job and just work with teenagers and write on my blog for the rest of my life, I’ll be fine, but I won’t be as good as I could be.” Or for you. “If I stay in this career I’m in, the one my parents backed me into, I’ll make it, I’ll be fine, but I’ll never be as happy as I want to be.” We’re both thinking, every once in a while, “This is career is what God wants for me, and all my misery is coming from not submitting to it, and if I could just wrestle my contentment into place and give up the thing I want, and submit to what God wants, I’d be fulfilled.”

But how do we know any of those thoughts are true? How do we know God wants us in these boring old careers we wouldn’t have chosen—didn’t choose? Or, how do we know these boring old careers are what we’re stuck in because we didn’t take the plunge and work harder for our “dreams,” which were what He really wanted us to do? How do we know either of those things?

We don’t. We don’t get to know. That’s the point.

Because that’s not how God works. Not from what I can tell in the Bible.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”. Colossians 3:17.

Whatever you do. Not “the one specific thing you figure out He wants you to do.��

My mom described it to me once when I was in a really dark place trying to figure out what He wanted me to do, paralyzed with indecision, afraid He wanted me to do something I just didn’t want to do, like this: “God doesn’t hold out one flower and say, ‘this is the one I want you to have, so you can either take it or take something worse.’ God makes a field of flowers, and He says, ‘Which one do you want? Pick one, and do it with excellence for Me.’ Then just trust Him to make it good.”

It sounds like you’re in a career, but you are wrestling with whether or not to pick it, now that you have some autonomy as an adult, or to pick starting over. Well. Pick one. Just pick one. And trust God to take care of you. Trusting God looks like thinking it through with excellence, then making the decision—and making the decision means letting go of worrying about the thing you didn’t pick. “Take every thought captive in obedience to Christ.” Once you make a choice, make it all the way, and don’t let your mind wander anymore to “what if this blows up in my face? What if I should’ve stayed back there at the crossroads, or gone down the other path?” It’s going to be hard and God is going to take care of you, no matter what you pick. So don’t let your mind go to those places where you worry; acknowledge the worry, and every time, ask God to help you remember that He’s got you.

Because here’s the point, here’s the thing: He does have you. Because ultimately, your career really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Neither does your dream. Not ultimately. And now I’ll say “our” because I need to hear it too. Our dreams and careers are not the point of us, and our dreams and careers are not what God means when He says “I’ll take care of you.”

What He means is, “I’ve already taken care of you.” Because the most important thing isn’t our job or our dream. The most important thing is, we’ve been rescued out of eternally being trapped in our broken desires, and now we get to live for Christ, Who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That’s the major. And that truth is where our fulfillment is supposed to come from, what our lives are meant for, our purpose. As long as we pick one, and do it with excellence to make the name of Jesus famous, with that goal in mind, we’ll be emotionally fulfilled. We’ll be satisfied. Because that’s the goal. Not making movies, or whatever it is you want to do. Not having secure means of living. Just…living our lives to make who Jesus is famous. We can do that wherever.

So then the choice? It becomes a minor, not a major, and the pressure of “will I be happy?” is off, because happiness isn’t found in that stuff. And whenever I forget, and start looking for happiness in my dreams, goals, career, that’s when it all starts to feel dark and stressful and hard and crushing. Because it was never meant to give me happiness or fulfillment—that’s a need only Christ can fulfill.

Don’t misunderstand me. He cares what you do. He cared about every decision you make, and He does have a plan. But that’s going to happen anyway. So just pray, consider which option is a) wise to go for and takes care of the responsibilities God has entrusted you with, b) which option you genuinely want, when your wants are not influenced by fears, and then c) step out and do it in faith. And do it with the mindset of, “I’m doing this, and I’m not thinking about the alternative if I can help it, and I’m also not putting all my happiness-eggs in this basket, because even if it crashes and burns, hey, I’m still one with Christ and I can still make Him famous no matter what road my career goes down.”

I hope this helps. It’s a subject I’m hamster-wheeling around in my mind right now a lot—but when I just fix my eyes on Christ and think about how the most important things, the things that give real joy and happiness, are already and forever taken care of and I can’t mess them up—then can get off the hamster wheel and enjoy the life He’s given me, right now, today, without worrying about the future.

[many-sparrows]

Unsure if you're the right person to ask this to, but I trust your blog and it has brought me comfort many times before.

I'm converting to christianity have no desire to go to church, at least, not traditional ones, but I feel like not going to church and not making myself "officially" Christian seems... wrong. At the same time, I have so many beliefs, spiritual and otherwise, that don't align with the church, and in general it's just not a place I'm happy in.

Is it okay to be Christian and not go to church? To not be tied to one?

God bless you and thank you in advance

Ok, been thinking about this ask since I got it. I wanted to take the time to answer it sensitively and thoroughly, but there have been some intense distractions to my ability to think sensitively at the moment (*gestures at the world*)

First of all, I am touched that my blog is a place you find comfort. That surprises me a little bit, because I am simply hanging out. As for whether or not I am the right person to ask, I like to ask all sorts of people these questions; who knows what insights they might give. Then you can sort through what is and isn't of value.

This topic is difficult. It's one that a lot of "non-traditional" Christians deal with. Let's dig in.

You know, I think it is possible to be a Christian and not be tied to a church. Churches can be very difficult places, especially traditional ones. You bring up a very good point about the power dynamics- churches, despite all of the important things in the gospel and the things God has called us to, have been a part of systems that have caused a lot of harm and destruction, and you can't ignore that when making a choice like this. I firmly believe that Christ doesn't want us to do things that endanger our walk with God, and I really do believe that includes avoiding churches that are harmful and hateful and so on. I think God calls us all to our own paths, and our own relationships with Them, and you can never be separated from Him, even if you aren't in a church on Sunday. I spent years of my life not going to church, and had some of the most clarifying, important religious experiences during that time.

However, let me say a word in favor of churches. The whole point of churches, of gathering, of the Sabbath are that we are called together into community. We are called to do this thing together. I really do think that the lack of strong community networks is part of what our society is really struggling with right now. Of course, there are other types of community- friends and school, work, neighborhood groups, mutual aide organizations- and those things are absolutely somewhere you find God. This might be a hot take, but I don't think you should only surround yourself with people of your own religion or that you should only get community from there; Christ didn't do that, for starters, and in this day and age, when churches have become so inaccessible to non Christians, and White Christianity has become so warped and strange, that it's important to not lock yourself inside the church walls. However, it can be very lonely, even when you're a part of groups that share your values, to be the only one coming at it from your faith. We arent just meant to live in community, we are meant to practice our faith in community.

Every one of us struggles sometimes, with doubts and callings and questions, and having people with you makes that doable. I also know that the holy Spirit comes to us in community. When you're with people who share your faith, you know that you are with people that share this walk with you. At the very least you know that they are committed to something bigger than themselves. That is such a very, very precious and grounding thing to hold on to.

Also, none of us is ever going to be 100% correct in the ways that we interpret Scripture on our own. Good clergy have been trained in how to understand and approach scripture and how to meet people where they are, and having access to them is incredibly helpful. Having people to talk about these things with opens your eyes and can help you understand God's instructions better.

This is going to sound cheesy, but what really makes or breaks a church are the people. If you can find a group of people that works for you, everything else is workable.

As for beliefs that don't necessarily align, you'd be surprised how open some churches are. Quakers, for example, aren't even Christian, though plenty of Quakers are themselves Christian. I know many Christians who believe in universal salvation. I know Lutherans and Episcopalians to toe the line with Catholic practices. I know gay Catholics, Catholics that are pro-choice and don't believe in Hell. All this is to say, in some churches, you can make a broader set of beliefs and practices work. In many places, they are welcomed.

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the United Church of Christ, and the Episcopalians are groups that have been actively working to untangle a lot of the problems in traditional church culture-- especially when it comes to racial and queer issues. If you ever feel like you want to access the benefits of churches, these are groups that might be a good place to start exploring, instead of just trying churches until you stumble on one. You also totally can attend churches loosely, when you need or want to, without becoming a member of entrenching yourself. You can rotate between churches. It really is all about you and your walk, babe.

I'm not telling you that you have to go to church. Unfortunately, I cannot give you an answer of what to do, because it has to work for you and whatever you have going on with God. I just want you to know that churches- though they can be scary and difficult and complicated- can also do some very important things for your faith journey. I also don't think that church should ever be the center of someone's spiritual life; Sunday mornings are a chance to ground yourself, a place to land when you need it, something to steady yourself, but not the only time or place God comes to you or that you're supposed to live out the values of the faith.

Regardless, this, and most things in the Christian faith, is not about finding one answer. It is about living in a way that works right now. Churches change, you move, what worked once won't always work forever, and that's ok. The whole point of this thing is to commit to the walk and the process. Of loving your neighbor right here and now. So I hope this helped somewhat. I hope this becomes easier for you-- the most important thing is that Christ is with you and that sets you free from all fear and shame if you let it, no matter how much people try to push those things onto you. I hope you find peace on this and that you find a solution that works for you.

Congratulations on your conversion! We are happy to have you in the family :)

[redjennies]

4 and 6 for the da ask game?

ugh, finally had time to do these after working for eleven hours two days in a row. let's fuckin gooooooo.

4. attitude towards Andrastianism?

Suraia Tabris: she's an Andrastian, though not particularly well educated on the subject the same way a medieval peasant would have likely never read the Bible, and her experience is more informed by the folk traditions of the Denerim Alienage than official Chantry teachings. she does believe in the Maker and Andraste, even if theology and philosophy is a bit outside of her depth. still, her experience in the Temple of Sacred Ashes and even more, a common elf like herself being deemed worthy to take from the Urn leaves her in a state of quiet reverence and awe for the rest of her life.

Vivia Hawke: she's a little too glib and non-confrontational to decry the Chantry publicly the way Anders would, but Vivia is a non-believer to her core. she understands, logically, that the existence of the Fade and spirits in the material world is something she doesn't fully understand and will never understand, but that's still something she can experience. faith in something that she can't see or touch is just not something that comes easy to her. on her better days, she pays lip service to the concept of "good Andrastians" like Sebastian and her family not being the same as the Chantry, but deep down there's a bitterness towards the faith that she can't shake.

Natalia Trevelyan: deeply devout, but to her credit, when your family sends you away to the Chantry at a young age what else are you supposed to be? she's not perfectly content with her life as a lay sister and has some issues with the Chantry, which she keeps as deeply guarded secrets, but it's never soured her faith. if anything, it's made her feel special for thinking she understands the Chant better than others, which is NOT helped by her appointment as the Herald of Andraste. it's not until she gets the one-two punch of falling into the Fade at Adamant and finding out she's less the second coming of Christ and more just someone who just happened to be there at the right time and then discovering that Blackwall, who she -- a little naively -- looked up to as this older and wiser figure in her life, turning out to be Thom Rainier, that she starts to question her faith. ultimately, it doesn't completely shatter her belief, but it is a (much needed) humbling experience.

6. attitude towards the Qun?

Tabris: doesn't fully understand it. as with Andrastianism and the Chantry, Suraia really isn't a philosophy and big concepts type of person, but she is curious about the world outside of the alienage so she's very interested in what Sten has to say about his culture. unfortunately, Sten is not the best evangelist the Qun has to offer and isn't particularly interested in being one. eventually, she does start to understand it better through her friendship with him and deems that it's not all that different from her own personal attitude towards duty, if a little more rigid. honestly, if Sten were the converting type, she'd make a great Qunari.

Hawke: ooh, she's not a fan to put it lightly. again, she's slippery when it comes to getting her to voice an opinion so she's diplomatic and (relatively) respectful when speaking to someone the Arishok and Tallis, but to her, joining the Qun would just trading one yoke for another. as a mage, particularly, she thinks the treatment of the saarebas is, somehow, even worse than what the Chantry does. even if she weren't a mage, Vivia values autonomy too much to be even remotely on board with it.

Trevelyan: though she's not as personally disgusted by it as Vivia is, it has no appeal to who she is as a person. still, she quite enjoys talking to Bull about it, and though some things sound strange or even backwards to her, his relationship to the Qun feels familiar to her in a way that she can't quite verbalize. they're in very similar situations and on some level, similar people despite some seemingly massive differences. of course, as soon as Bull leaves the Qun, she's fully on Team Tal-Vashoth because fuck those guys. another win for Andrastianism. /joke

[victorianpining]

How do you reconcile Christianity with queerness? Really struggling 😑

(Putting this under a read more because this is obviously a triggering topic for a lot of people)

First, you are really, really not alone, and for me that "reconciliation" process started there. Like not only have I been there, so so many people have. You are not the only queer Christian, even if you feel like it, even if everyone around you is telling you that you can't actually be Christian if you are queer, even if you think you've never met someone in the same boat as you (you probably have). Obviously the specifics of what your worries are and how someone comes to accept their queerness as not contradictory to their faith are very personal. So before I give my answer, I want to direct you to some of the thing that helped me. It's bad timing with Reddit in crisis right now, but the Open Christian subreddit has been an extremely helpful place for me, everyone is so kind and loving, and being in a place where people have discussion about parts of theology that I was not aware of in my formative evangelical upbringing just really broadened my horizons and helped me really get into my head that the people shouting that you have to listen to them specifically to be a Christian are just plain wrong.

Obviously another option is finding an affirming church. I haven't had much success finding a church I feel 100% comfortable in for other reasons, but affirming churches are out there. United Church of Christ/First Congregational Church, Episcopalians, and now some United Methodists are all safe bets. If you want to find a "non-denominational" church *read their website!* I have found that if a church is affirming, they will clearly tell you that up front. If they something more vague about "all are welcome" that almost always means they aren't. And some queer people are okay in those environments, but in my experience, especially when you're trying to find peace with your identity, getting regularly told you're choosing to identify with sin or whatever is not helpful.

Lastly, making other queer Christian friends, in a forum, online, in real life, has been the most helpful thing to me. If I being a fallible person can meet these bright, kind, earnest people and think they are deserving of love, how much more is God able to love them just as they are?

So to the specifics. Again, that Open Christian subreddit has lots of resources pinned, so if you want to deal with the "clobber passages," (verses that get used to tell queer people they are irredeemable sinners, for people out of the know) and learn about the ambiguity of the original Hebrew and Greek, or alternate interpretations, or even ways to approach the Bible outside of a literal reading, that's all there.

However, in my experience when I was dealing with this, feeling so bone deep afraid that there was something fundamentally wrong with me that God was angry about me over, that anything that was reassuring to me was just me seeking out what I wanted to hear, that anything that didn't scratch that anxiety itch was just a pleasant lie, I found about 0% of that convincing. What helped was a combination of meeting other queer Christians and getting reassurance that none of us were evil people looking for any excuse to sin or whatever else people say, and focusing on what I fundamentally believe to be true about God.

And the God I know is a God of love and forgiveness, who saw humanity and decided to come and live among us, to give Himself for us (like think of that, God Himself suffering for ordinary people, knowing everything about us, even the worst, and He still thought we were worth it). And so it helped me in my anxiety to settle it that even if the shouting people are right that being gay or trans is a sin (the more time goes on the more convinced I am that it's not, but I wasn't there yet) then it is like all other sins in that it didn't stop God from loving us and dying to redeem humanity. It doesn't stop God from loving me and it doesn't stop God from loving you. Jesus' ministry showed that none of us are without shortcomings, that people so focused on other people's sins are ignoring their own, and that ultimately if we are commanded to do anything, we are commanded to love. (And unlike what conservatives say, we do know that God's love is kind and gentle, Jesus compared God to an earthly father, saying if someone had a hungry child, would one of them give a stone instead of bread? Presumably the answer was no because he went on to say "if you being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him?" (Matthew 7:7-11). And going a step beyond that, we are only able to truly love God and love our fellows when we are assured that God loves us. (I think I'll leave off with that verse, since it's one of the most comforting passages in the Bible to me)

 Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us, and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and do testify that the Father has sent his Son as the Savior of the world. 15 God abides in those who confess that Jesus is the Son of God, and they abide in God. So we have known and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.  We love because he first loved us.  Those who say, “I love God,” and hate a brother or sister are liars, for those who do not love a brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.

I pray that God will reassure you of His steadfast love for you, it's so much stronger than any voice that would try to contain it. Please feel free to reach out again if you're feeling anxious.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

I posted this picture in an atheist group. And one smartass responded this

"Most Christians, with whom I have a lot to do in private, especially those from the Protestant Church, do not share such views at all."

He is always a little protective on this topic and explains some stuff in a really good way, but this is only argument from experience. What would you say?

I would say he's never listened to anyone who left.

Firstly, this is a really weird claim to make. Because I don't know how many times I've heard a believer tell myself or someone else that I/we don't believe because of some kind of adverse experience with a church or religion. They weren't True Xians, come to our church and you'll see it's not like that.

Here's just a couple of examples:

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/post/189685199592

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/post/178046031167

It's been one of their favorite ways to belittle and dismiss non-belief.

"wHo hUrT yOu tO tUrN yOu fRoM gOd?!12!?!1!?!?"

==

Let's put that aside for now.

Romans 3:23

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Nobody is good enough.

1 John 1:8-10

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

This is called a Kafka trap. If you deny you’re a witch, that’s proof you’re a witch, because denying you’re a witch is exactly what a witch would do.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_depravity

Total depravity (also called radical corruption or pervasive depravity) is a Christian theological doctrine derived from the concept of original sin. It teaches that, as a consequence of man's fall, every person born into the world is enslaved to the service of sin as a result of their fallen nature and, apart from the efficacious (irresistible) or prevenient (enabling) grace of God, is completely unable to choose by themselves to follow God, refrain from evil, or accept the gift of salvation as it is offered.

The doctrine is advocated to various degrees by many Protestant denominations, including some Lutheran synods, and all Calvinist churches.

I don't think he understands Xianity.

do not share such views at all

It just sounds like he's authoring his own god and his own religion. Which they all do, but what he's saying kind of undermines the entire point of Xianity: that humanity is irrevocably fallen and sinful by nature, needs to repent and seek salvation from depravity through Jesus Christ. That's pretty much a good definition of Xianity.

==

Let's also put the scripture aside.

The image is a caricature, as evidenced by the walking, talking sheep.

Although....

A metaphor, if you will. It's remarkable that people who are so obsessed about turning things into metaphors don't actually understand metaphors when they're presented.

It's probably true that very few but those from the most fundamentalist or most extremist denominations have ever actually encountered anything as literally depicted in the meme.

However, he's missing or avoiding the point. This happens on a much more insidious, manipulative and subtle basis all the time.

There are hundreds of apostates online, ex-Xians, ex-JWs, ex-Muslims and so on, on podcasts, forums, boards and other places, who will tell you how they learned these lessons. Through a tossed word, a glare, an admonishment to be quiet, an insistence that they didn't have enough faith, that god was punishing them; Jesus is watching; give the glory to god; nothing without god (a "good" thing), give god what's right, not what's left; and a dozen other little sayings that make believers feel broken and damaged, sold as "humility."

He can't see it because it's the water he swims in. He's listening to other believers, who are in the club and want to stay in the club. They know full well not to criticize the club, because they're dependent upon the club, because that dependence has been fostered through the the aforementioned manipulations.

And they probably grew up in the club and have nothing to compare it to.

You've got a a guy with Stockholm syndrome asking the others with Stockholm Syndrome whether any of them have Stockholm Syndrome.

It's only the people who have left who will tell him honestly. But he probably won't listen, because he doesn't want to hear it; they probably have an agenda like trying to tear him from his god or trying to promote atheism or something.

On the off chance he has some intellectual integrity, here are some relevant podcast episodes from the Born Again Again Podcast, with Joe and Katie Bauer.

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-16-losing-our-identity-in-christ

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-14-christianity-warped-our-brains

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-03-is-my-relationship-with-god-abusive

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-20-being-a-godly-woman

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-21-being-a-godly-man

They talk about what Xianity did to them, what it encouraged them to do to themselves. Rarely even overtly, but through subtle messaging, through what was held as virtuous, what was whispered about, who was whispered about, learned social cues, small chips in who they were that added up over time. Joe talks about how he deliberately hollowed out his personality so that he could be filled with Jesus; he aimed to be nothing more than a vessel for god and Jesus and shit, and saw that as a good thing

 And they talk about how they had to completely reconstruct their identities, their personalities afterwards as a result. They talk about how different each other is after their deconversion, and how much more they like each other and themselves.

But I suspect even if he listens to it, he'll want to rationalize it. Because they just can't see what it looks like from the outside.

==

And yes, it’s also fallacious. We could file it as a Biased Sample:

https://www.logicallyfallacious.com/logicalfallacies/Biased-Sample-Fallacy

Biased Sample Fallacy

(also known as: biased statistics, loaded sample, prejudiced statistics, prejudiced sample, loaded statistics, biased induction, biased generalization, biased generalizing, unrepresentative sample, unrepresentative generalization) 

or a Hasty Generalization:

https://www.logicallyfallacious.com/logicalfallacies/Hasty-Generalization

Hasty Generalization

(also known as: argument from small numbers, statistics of small numbers, insufficient statistics, argument by generalization, faulty generalization, hasty induction, inductive generalization, insufficient sample, lonely fact fallacy, over generality, overgeneralization, unrepresentative sample)

==

EDIT: I just realized I misinterpreted what you wrote; it was an atheist saying this, not a believer. I saw “smartass” and “in an atheist group” and, well, it’s a fairly natural mistake to make.

I think what I’m saying here still holds. He may never have been in one such religion, or may never have been a believer at all. But even if it’s not universal, this is still a common experience.

[androgynepositivity]

Rejoice! Salvation Is Free, Just Accept Jesus Into Your Life Today!

Wow, hello!

I'm going to make an example of you since you've so kindly wandered into my asks. I'm 99% sure that this is either a bot or some sort of copy/paste, but heck, you've given me a unique opportunity.

I've wanted to talk about my experiences with faith and religion (separate things) for a while now, but haven't really been able to think of a reason to bring it up. Of course I don't NEED a reason, but it's just one of those things that's not very fun to just drop on people unannounced. So, without further ado, please make sure you read this post slowly and carefully, as I don't intend to repeat myself.

I am an ex-xtian who has good faith in xtians regardless of my trauma. (xtian = abbreviation of christian)

This is to say, I myself do not have any good faith left untoward xtianity as a whole. I believe that the organized religion in itself is corrupt from the core, and has effectively lost sight of what truths it actually has within itself in favor of worldly pursuits and powers. What I have good faith in, however, is xtian people who actually practice what their holy texts preach. There are xtian people who do this, and as a former xtian, I know exactly what I'm looking for when it comes to this assessment.

So, if there are any xtians among my tumblr followers here, (especially queer ones), I'd like to kindly request your attention, because I am hoping that you will find this post refreshing in terms of non-xtians having reviews/critiques of the behavior of xtian things, as opposed to yet another queer post about how religious trauma has made them a hater of xtians and xtianity (which most of the time, if I may be frank, are valid).

If you are to follow the teachings of Yeshua of Nazareth, the "Christ", the "Messiah", you are to fully disregard the teachings of the old testament as little more than old lessons; perhaps looking to them as guides, but no more as religious law. As he has said, the old is done away with. "I am the new word/law." depending upon your translation of the verse, at least.

This is to say... there are many xtians that seem to ignore this in favor of using ancient text to support their shitty world views. As a person who has read the bible cover to cover twice, -and took notes-, I can tell you for certain that there are just... SO many verses I am tired of hearing upon the lips of bigoted xtians who want to use their religious practice as a sheepskin to cover their hateful ways in some sort of 'valid' excuse. But we've all dealt with that at one time or another as queer people.

No, the folks that are fine in my book are the ones that read the damn book for themselves, or absorb the information in some way that is not some prewritten adventure guide (bible study). This isn't to say that xtians who haven't or can't read the bible in its entirety aren't "real" xtians or something, but I mean to say that if you ever get the chance to, you really should, because it'll really help you fully understand what the faith aught to be about and what you, as a xitian, aught to focus on as a xtian. Not to mention... Lutherans literally fought for your right to be able to READ the damn thing, since catholics were absolutely fine with the arrangement of hoarding the knowledge to themselves so they could take advantage of the message and use that power to manipulate the masses, so fucking read it? (Lutherans of course are not based or perfect in any way, Martin Luther himself was hellishly racist and had all kinds of problematic takes, but you know what I mean).

So, little bot or random copy/paster, this is me telling you outright that no, I will not be accepting any saviors into my heart, yada yada. I had at one time done that whole song and dance, and I paid my nickle to the cause. I've read the book twice, I've studied, I know what I'm doing in terms of saying, "No, I don't believe this to be the one and only truth in the world." and so I am an ex-xtian, and will happily remain so.

And I had momentarily considered making this response into some sort of short, throw-away dunk on xtians with a meme or something, but I decided instead to make a long-form statement so I hopefully don't have to do it ever again. And if any of you have read this far down, thanks, first of all! I know this is a long one.

I have not yet read the book, but if there are any xtians among my followers, I want to recommend the book "Christians Against Christianity" by Obery M. Hendricks Jr. as a little side-study you can conduct. I think you'll find it refreshing to see that people within your own faith are just as disenfranchised with it as you may be at times, but that there is of course, hope. "Hope," I say, for xtians who actually practice the faith instead of using it as a thinly veiled excuse to be bigoted fuckwads to others.

So, finally, this is my overall message I wish to convey:

I am not xtian, and will never again be xtian. If I identify as anything, I am an omnist (not omnitheist, it's different); I believe that there are truths and wisdoms that can be found among all faiths, and so I aim to instead study all faiths as a way to better understand my fellow humans, humanity, and my own understanding of the world as a whole. I wish good fate upon anyone who practices something in its entirety, but I also deeply encourage others to study other faiths if ever you find yourself not understanding something. Ask questions. Look deeper. For example, there are just so many people who have thoughts and opinions on Judaism and Islam without having even once looked into what these faiths are about at their cores, so... you know, go and read about them? Learn? Be a good neighbor, damn you.

If folks have more specific questions they want to ask me, feel free! But I will not be making any more posts in regards to folks trying to evangelize me via motherfucking tumblr anon. Lmfao

-Admin (Cake/Arthur)

[aces-to-apples]

Worst AU prompt: Dragon Age: Origins. AU where everyone meets doing a reality TV show where they all live in a house together.

i wrote a whole response after misreading the ask (because it's been A Whole Day) so i missed that you specified REALITY tv which would ALSO be very funny because lbr not a whole lot of interpersonal stuff would change but i honestly don't know much about reality tv and also don't want to write a second response when i gotta go to bed in like ten minutes

Mistake response to "dragon age but it's a tv show" au under the cut:

Gen i think we have vastly different ideas of what the word "worst" means because lmao that sounds hilarious does anyone remember that old "the blood gulch chronicles was a tv show and project freelancer was its prequel spin-off" post? No? Probably for the best lbr

Well first thing's first morrigan and alistair are actually best friends a la lena headey and peter dinklage, Alistair was a child star on thedosian disney channel and morrigan has no professional acting experience but Alistair tricked her into auditioning and was fucking thrilled when she got the part. Cailan is alistair's also non-actor younger brother whom he convinced to come over to the set and put on this stupid armor and play the king real quick because the original actor didn't show up and everyone's freaking out. They of course look notably similar so alistair's character, who was in fact supposed to be eamon's bastard, was quickly rewritten to be maric's.

I'm thinking flemeth is a world-renowned stage actress that kind of nobody can believe they actually got on dragon age (because it's a dinky little syfy show that everyone really expected to die after the first season but instead became a cult classic almost immediately) and she takes morrigan under her wing while they work together and form a lifelong friendship/mentorship.

Whoever the warden is, their race origin counterpart is their stunt double that they become great friends with over the course of shootijg (brosca and aeducan, tabris and mahariel, cousland and amell) and all the other possible wardens are other crew members.

Zevran was supposed to be a one-off baby antagonist that the warden kills at the end of the interrogation scene (possibly as a sign that they're becoming Darker and Edgier or something) but the second Zev got cast the writers looked at him and said "christ we can't waste this guy just by killing him" and quickly wrote him into the companions; a lot of his background behavior is a cross between orlando bloom's "no one told me what's happening in the scene" legolas and ryan reynolds' "all the writers are striking so i have to write my own character's dialogue" wolverine origins deadpool. He is, of course, a fan favorite and a heartthrob that gossip rags have reported as being involved with every member of the cast at least twice.

Sten's love of cookies is real and the rest of the cast kept ad-libbing jokes about it during takes so it just became canon for his character; he was originally a stunt guy too but then the original actor for the character dropped out first day of shooting so sten just stepped up to the plate.

Leliana is an atheist but takes inspiration for her character's faith from a very devout older woman she's been friends with since she was a teen.

Wynne is also a very experienced stage actor but nobody's surprised that she ended up on dragon age because that's like Her Thing. The only tv/movies she does are cheesy sci-fi and fantasy flicks because she thinks they're fun and relaxing.

Oghren has like three different degrees and is an actual trained fencer and likes his character because he barely has any written lines and gets to just make up inappropriate shit on the spot. He gets into debates with the writer/director about his character's background and motivation and when it's appropriate vs. inappropriate for his character to actually be serious about things.

The writer/director is a former popstar known in her youth as Andraste and the studio making dragon age is called Maker Studios.

[godfirstgodalways]

Hi, I would like your opinion on something. I've been so confused as to what I should do concerning my relationship with my bf. We engage in premarital sex but I want to stop. Idk if I should completely end the relationship or not. What's making me hold on is the fact that he has supported me and helped me in a time where I was completely lost and away from God. I was even the one who pushed sex on him, so what place do I have to tell him I can't be with him because we have sex? Please help. Thx

I hope you’re not upset that this reply is so late but know that I always reply in order. Anyway, remember that confusion is of Satan. We must approach God because He is our clarity. Christian or not, the soul wants righteousness but the flesh wants instant gratification. The difference is that a Christian should be more aware of that than someone who isn’t. You’re on the right track for wanting to stop, but the question is are you going to walk it? It’s easier said than done. Sexual sin is different compared to other sins, not in a sense that God thinks twice about forgiving the person who engages in it…no….I say it in a sense that engaging in it defiles your own body (including your mind), which explains your confusion, and probably fear and anxiety too. I believe that couples who engage in premarital sex are also more often to disagree on things and fight in general, but couples who understand that sex should be within the marriage and are practical about the discipline have better communication because they’ve built (or in some cases rebuilt) a strong foundation that goes beyond feelings. If you read most of my replies to prayer requests, I focus my prayers on drawing closer to God, I focus on requesting God to transform the mind and heart of the person going through the difficulty. Tell yourself, “I know what’s right and what’s wrong, but do I see potential in this person as a provider, a father, a husband, or a leader (whatever qualities you value in a lifelong partner)…do I have confidence in my heart of hearts that God can continue to work on him, and am I willing to give it a try to see if we can still work together as a couple without sex?” If after spending some time reflecting on that makes a lot of sense to you, then tell the Lord that you desire for change, not just in how you think but also in how you behave especially when you two are alone. You do that by spending more time with Him. I can’t emphasize that enough. The theme in a lot of my posts are spending more time with Him because that’s how you grow spiritually mature. If you haven’t yet started, right now listen to Christian vloggers that speak on the topic, there’s a lot of them and you will be encouraged to stay on track and actually walk it. You have to read your Bible too and read devotionals daily. If you haven’t explained to your boyfriend your convictions, your point will only be understood more and more whenever a fight breaks out…that’s if you’re still together. You can bring it up letting him know that you would probably fight/argue less if both of you had a deeper connection spiritually and if both of you came to the center where God should be. If he can’t respect that you’re doing this because you know in your heart God wants you to wait, then I’m sorry he isn’t the right one for you. Because he supported you in a time you needed it, it sounds like there could be a chance and I only say that because of your desire to want to be right with God again. If your values are modest, then his’ is probably too, sex just got in the way.…like attracts like. Once you have become consistent at practicing His presence and you know in your spirit that you have been growing, that’s when you will start to be a better example to him and hopefully this should help him see that he must also change his ways by transforming his mind. You must attend church and fellowship, pray for each other everyday, and remind yourselves why you are doing this. I’m sure you want to have more peace within yourself, you want more out of this life, you just aren’t happy settling for what you thought was best, you want to have God’s best. Most Christians will tell you that you should not be in a relationship where you allow premarital sex…that’s true….they might even tell you get out of it……but really only you know in your heart if the relationship is toxic to you or not. It’s also very common for many Christians to engage in premarital sex, so I would say if you really believe that you can’t work on yourself while being in this relationship, then take yourself out of it and take a long break from him. Invest on your spiritual growth because your future and everything else highly depends on it. The rest will fall into place, because if you love the Lord with all your heart, you will respect yourself enough to attract what is good and pleasing and righteous. You might attract him back if God has also been working on him. And if he does come back into your life, stay grounded in faith, cling dearly to God. Or He could also bring someone who is much better for you. Be patient and wait on Him whether you’re in a relationship or not. Your beliefs shape your success. You have to be willing to accept what God’s will is and you must be content in Him alone whether you remain in this relationship or not. My parents were not Christians when then met. My sister and I were both born before they got married. It was 9 years later after my mom met my dad when she gave her life to God. Did she leave my dad because he wasn’t saved? No, she often prayed for his salvation and 8 years later he accepted Christ as his Savior. Now he will be speaking this coming Sunday at our church as a substitute for the pastor. God works in mysterious and wonderful ways. It doesn’t always mean that if someone is having sex outside marriage, they have to break up with their significant other and never see them again. Everyone is at a different spiritual level and everyone has a different story. Repent and turn away from your sin and DO what is right. It’s possible for anyone to take advantage of His grace and also take it for granted by continuing to do what they know is wrong. If you love your boyfriend, you will also care enough for his spiritual growth. You have to pray where you are right now for strength and wisdom so He blesses you with His discernment to look forward to a bright future for yourself, and so you are able to take what you’ve learned from this experience and thank the Lord for His forgiveness and His grace to start over again with a pure heart. He loves you and wants you to focus on Him so He is able to show you what He is working out in you. Trust, His plans are always good. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. Bless! :)

PS 2 Cor. 6:14 is not a commandment but it is still wisdom, it’s something every Christian should be cautious of. But because we live in a world where it’s inevitable Christians will hang out with non-believers, just know that time should be limited with them otherwise if we are not careful enough we turn back to our old ways and stagnate our spiritual growth.

2 Corinthians 6:14 - Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

James 1:22 - Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Lamentations 3:25-26 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him,  to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you,“ declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

By His Grace, Sheela (Via godfirstgodalways)

[treadmilltreats]

Step into your future 

Can we see our future? Can we step into our future with what is going today?

Do we even have a good future?

With all of the crime going on, with our hearts going cold and our country in a state of unrest it is hard to imagine our future. Hell, there are some days that we are just trying to get through one day yet alone think about our future.

Maybe you're dealing with unemployment or your business is going down or you're dealing with the illness itself, there are so many things going on now and it's tough for all of us.

You may even be asking God, "Do I have a future? Do I have a bright future? What's going to happen to me?

Yes, during hard times we question God, but we must remember the plans God has for us, for good and not evil.

But you cannot choose to hold on to fear, to doubt and all you see is the negative. No, you must have faith, no matter what, you need to believe, you must believe that God has a good outcome for you. I know that some people won't believe it, some people will laugh at me because they only see what they see…But I know what God has for me.

Let the haters go, forget the people who are not in the same mindset as you. Let them go,  don't argue with them because they will never change so stop wasting your time trying to convince them to believe what you believe. There is a point when you realize that it's never going to happen.

All of us have problems, all of us have obstacles in our way, yet somehow, someway  through the grace of God we made it.

I know it was bad enough when you are struggling with your own issues, maybe a job you hate, your struggling with haters that talk about you, maybe it's your finances that are killing you and then comes this pandemic and  you and the whole world is experiencing this and it adds more crap on top of your all ready problems. You think to yourself I can't handle this.

 And just when you think it couldn't get any worst, they throw in the horrific murder of George Floyd and all the racism into the mix and the world has gone crazy and now it is way to much to handle, to deal with.

I am here to tell you that no matter what is going on in the world and even with all the chaos going on around you, you need to have faith. Look I know it's hard but just think of all God has done before, all he keeps doing.

I know that there are people trying to paint what your future will look like, trying to keep you down but if you could see what God has for you, you would walk into the future with confidence.

You would walk with your head held high knowing he's got you.

I believe many of you might be asking that question: "What is in my future and can we really have love, peace, joy and unity in this crazy world?

Not unless you can love one another, we cannot say that we are Christians and stop promoting the hate. 

We are not supposed to judge

We are supposed to love and accept.

We are not supposed to bring God's wrath on other's.

We are supposed to love them and maybe when they are shown that love, they too, will want to come into the kingdom as well.

 I know you may be thinking they will never change their ways, their beliefs. They are racist, they are bad, they have hatred in their hearts. Let me remind you that Paul was on his way to kill Christians and Jesus met him not with judgment but with love.

Christians have become the policeman of the nations, we think we are better than everyone because of the fact that we are Christians.

If we just remember that God so loved the world, he gave his beloved son for us…

If we could only remember the love of God and what he would say. He would say I will never hurt my brother and sister.

I will love everyone just as God has.

We need to have hope that this world will have peace. I have hope that God will turn things around and God will stamp out this ugly behavior in so many of us. That this will be part of our testimony and we will tell our great grandchildren that we saw and what happens when God shows his love towards us.

We must believe in God's words…

"Be still… and know that I am God...I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the world"

Encourage yourself, look around at the uncertainty and know that God has you. I know these bills are piling up and the storms are coming at you…. But you must trust that God has you and he will take care of you….

Be still and know that this too shall pass….

He who has begun a good work in you...he has you, he knows the beginning from the end…

I know sometimes we feel like the world is imprisoning us, the walls are closing in on us, we can't breathe and we don't think we can make it. It is during these dark times we must remember that even David who was in prison knew his future. He knew what God had him, even in the dungeon he held on to his faith. He knew he was doing this for the call of Christ. He knew God would finish it and this was not the end.

How about when Paul was in prison said "Because of my chains most of my brothers and sisters have become confident in the lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear"

Even in prison he was speaking on faith and believed he had a future.

So today my friends, this message is to let you know that for me, I have to keep preaching love. I must keep loving the haters because you never know who you may touch. You never know if your words of kindness and non judgment may change their hearts. We all must do our part as Christians, we must be the light, we must keep the faith and we must step into our futures with hope, love and gratitude for all God has for us.

"Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

https://www.amazon.com/Blessing-Disguise-Revealed-story-faith/dp/1074340493/ref=sr_1_19?keywords=the+blessing+in+disguise&qid=1561392004&s=books&sr=1-19

***Now available***

My 1st book The blessing in Disguise 

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[youspoketome]

MXPX - TEENAGE POLITICS (1995)

I once bought a bright orange and navy blue Superman t-shirt in a size XL simply because it existed. It's hard to believe in this day and age, when comic book shirts are everywhere and comic book movies are breaking records every other week, but there was a time when a Superman shirt, even one with stupid colors and two sizes too big, was really exciting.

So I think that explains why I was so shocked to see Tom from MxPx wearing a Superman t-shirt on the cover of 7 Ball.

7 Ball was a magazine that covered slightly more alternative Christian music than CCM (a magazine that literally named itself "Contemporary Christian Music Magazine"). Apparently they didn't have much (read: any) budget for photoshoots though, so when they decided to put MxPx on that fateful cover, they just used an image from their newest album ON THE COVER. I took that magazine home and without even hearing them, I immediately became hugely interested in MxPx.

That summer, my dad took me to Sonshine Music Festival, a fairly large, weekend long Christian music festival in Willmar, MN. I remember the biggest draw was Petra playing on the mainstage on Friday night (I had to skip a baseball tournament in order to make it to see them), but I was also incredibly excited that MxPx was playing. By this time I had at least heard their cover of "Summer Of '69" although I can't for the life of me recall how or where. I made it a high priority to be ready for them to play, to the point that my dad and I threw a frisbee back and forth during an entire Stavesacre set, just so we'd be at the proper stage when they were finished and it was MxPx's time.

I think my dad made it halfway through the first song.

Really though, good on him for trying. He waited through that entire Stavesacre set for this band of tattooed and pierced punk rock kids to play and he gave it a go. Then he told me he was going to check out the other stages and left me to rock out on my own. Well... As much as an awkward 13-year-old who has never actually heard the band playing can rock out.

Once the set was over I was determined to buy a CD. The trouble was, as I have mentioned, I was terrible at saving money and didn't have enough cash to afford anything from their merch table. That didn't deter me though, Northwestern Bookstore had a booth set up on the Sonshine grounds where they were selling CDs. I still couldn't afford TEENAGE POLITICS, but ON THE COVER was a shorter length cover album, so it was cheaper. I could be off on the details, but I think it was $8 and I had $6. I thought for sure I'd be able to borrow $2 from my dad for a CD, but had underestimated his distaste for my new favorite band. I went home empty-handed.

That still wasn't enough to get me to give up though. Around this time I had a subscription to Breakaway Magazine (or maybe it was still my older brother's subscription then. At some point his subscription just transferred over to me.) Breakaway was a Christian magazine for teenage boys that had a couple advice columns. One of those columns focused on relationships and life, and one was more about movies and music. Every month that second column basically consisted of variations of two questions: One: "Should I listen to (insert non-Christian band here)?" (Answer: no, unless that band was Genesis. For some reason,they were ok with WE CAN'T DANCE.) And two: "My parents won't let me listen to (insert Christian band here) because they rock too hard and my parents think anything that sounds like that must be evil." The answer to this one was always essentially "have them read the lyrics, and when they see what the band is singing about, your parents will come around!" So I borrowed a copy of TEENAGE POLITICS from one of my older brother's friends and supplied my parent's with the lyric sheet.

Breakaway was wrong.

Ok, quick theology aside (it's relevant, just bear with me). In Ephesians 2:8-9 Paul writes "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. (NASB)" Christianity is not intended to be a bunch of people following a bunch of rules, it's about having a relationship with Jesus Christ and accepting His sacrifice of His life for your sin. Yes, Christians should live in a way that will be pleasing to Him, but no amount of being good is going to get anyone into heaven. To live your life putting the emphasis on a list of things you can't do instead of on salvation through Jesus is called legalism.

My grandma had a lot of legalistic beliefs. For example, she wouldn't even play solitaire, because some people use playing cards for gambling. Which is why my parents didn't really love it when they they came across "legalistic people suck. Legalism makes me sick. I wonder what makes them tick. I want to go puke on it" in that lyric sheet.

And that dashed my hopes of buying an MxPx CD.

There were multiple repercussions to this ruling. First, I very much learned the wrong lesson from all this. I had gone through all the proper channels (learned of a band in a Christian magazine, saw them at a Christian music festival, followed a different Christian magazine's advice for winning parents over) and was still shot down. So shortly after this when I was at my friend Matt's house and he showed me a new band called Green Day who sounded "exactly like MxPx," I decided to skip the getting approval step altogether (Breakaway would eventually cover Green Day in one of those "don't listen to this non-Christian band" columns). I had another friend dub me a copy of DOOKIE onto a cassette and I listened to it strictly on headphones.

Secondly, I was introduced to Tooth & Nail Records. Perusing that Northwestern Bookstore booth at Sonshine was also my first exposure to Ghoti Hook, whose first album SUMO SURPRISE would end up being one of my next CD purchases. Shortly after that I obtained a T&N mail order catalogue, which I would go over and over and over again. Crux's FAILURE TO YIELD, Blenderhead's PRIME CANDIDATE FOR BURNOUT, TOOTH AND NAIL ROCK SAMPLER VOL. 1, and I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN VOL. 1, all T&N releases, were my next four purchases after that. Somewhere in there I also got a VHS tape of Tooth & Nail music videos. Up until this point, I was looking for that Forefront Records spine, but my brand loyalty changed allegiances to Tooth & Nail almost immediately. And would stay there for another 10-15 years.

I never would buy TEENAGE POLITICS. The two CDs I bought in between Ian and Ghoti Hook were NEVER SAY DINOSAUR, a tribute to Petra that featured your usual CCM bands like Audio Adrenaline and Jars of Clay, but also featured a cover by MxPx, and SELTZER, another CCM compilation that MxPx got thrown into. They were also featured on that music video compilation and I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN, so I snuck them in where I could. At some point in the next two years my cousin ended up with a copy of TEENAGE POLITICS, and was more interested in my copy of Geoff Moore and the Distance's HOMERUN. By that point I had already almost entirely abandoned my pre-T&N CD collection so it was a no brainier to make that trade. I think it ended up being one of those rare win/win trades. I think he still breaks out the Geoff Moore from time to time and TEENAGE POLITICS is still my favorite MxPx album to this day.