#do you know how sad that is as a 40 yr old human
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bughat · 1 year ago
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Okay, 1) I am dying at how many people who've liked this post have Buggy pfps
2) I will be legitimately pissed if Buggy gets to be hot, but Crocodile isn't. Like, fuck him for what he did to Vivi and all, but goddammit, they already crushed my ONE CHANCE to see Gin again and maybe JUST MAYBE have a brief, sad firefly moment of hope for my nearly nonexistent SanGin ship; I demand at least a decently hot greasy sand lizard mafia don in compensation for my broken dreams okay
Okay, so my life has kind of gone to shit rn and everything seems pointless, but I did still want to say that if you had told me back in 1999 that one day the internet would be burying me under an avalanche of thirsty BUGGY THE CLOWN fan art every time I got online I would have assumed you were high as fuck and possibly having a stroke, but HERE WE ARE-
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vrisrezis · 4 years ago
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Aot crush and relationship hcs
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Tw as I talk about suicide for reiners bit
- liking you makes him guilty (if you’re a soldier that is) and he doesn’t completely know what to even do about the situation
- as stares at you quite a bit and is self aware it’s obvious and tries not to too much
- you’re special to him
- probably tries to bring you along home with him and bertholdt before he even confesses he likes you but it probably works in his favor
- he honestly wants to marry you, a thought in his head before he even confesses his feelings
- not a blushy boy all the time but whos to say he can’t? You can totally make him blush
- when he finally decides to confess, he’s quite nervous about it but hey.. he’s lost a lot that was important you guys don’t have much time left
- a part of him wished he never became the armored titan so he’d have a longer time with you but at the same time if it weren’t for that he wouldn’t have met you (again if you’re a soldier but ok)
- if not hey it’s fine, he got to know you growing up and had a bigass crush on you that was so obvious that porco would purposelessly flirt with you to piss him off
- in a relationship, hugs and cuddles are quite often from Reiner you make him all soft and he’s such a cuddly man look at them big arms
- he’s the best hugger and cuddler tbh
- even if it looks weird, he likes to be the small spoon sometimes, just to be held and feel safe and protected for once
- he’s just so used to protecting you, which he loves and insists on doing but sometimes just wants to feel safe and protected by you
- likes patting your head
- gabi adores you so much, you guys are besties at this point
- gabis just really happy Reiner could find somebody to care and love for, it’s about damn time
- does not like you fighting, but if you have to then you have to
- will spoil you and buy you whatever you want, he does it cause he wants to spoil you though...
- when gabi finds this out you know she’s coming along for your dates more often to just get something
- dates are as often as you and Reiner can have them, which is more than most of the characters I’ve written for already
- you being with Reiner comes with a lot of emotional baggage that he doesn’t wanna put on you, he’s put it on a lot of people and he’s gotten a lot of people killed (who died in order to protect him such as bertholdt and ymir and etc)
- just be there for him, he doesn’t need you to understand he just needs somebody to not see him as a complete piece of shit so he can feel less guilty about it
- he has so much guilt :(
- so much to the point he doesn’t wanna live in this life anymore, but you being there makes it easier for him to have a will to live, for you
- at this point in his life he goes along with whatever you want
- he hates the idea of being separated from you at all
- yeah he’s a clingy boy in his adult years because he knows his time is coming up
- when he dies he says he wants you to look after gabi
- while the idea of dying sooner makes him feel better, can’t say he likes the idea of leaving you though he is constantly at a conflict between whether he’s happy to be the armored titan because he gets to protect you, die sooner etc or if he hates it cuz he can’t live longer to be with you and actually grow old with you
- even with his short life span, he wants to marry you
- it’s his final wish
- deep down Reiner wishes you could’ve started a family ;(
- he tells you to forget about him when he dies and start a family though tbh
- he loves you so much
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(S4 eren does not exist, the reason for that is the whole reason he became a shit head, I won’t spoil for the non manga readers or those that aren’t caught up with the manga, but yeah)
- this blushy boy can’t help the nervousness he feels around you and doesn’t always know what to say around you
- you make him at a loss for words honestly which isn’t like him
- he thinks about approaching you often, but he gets so tongue tied
- mikasa usually has to do the talking and we all know she isn’t the most talkative gal ever
- he might try to impress you, even in his titan form he tries to impress you
- especially if it’s early on and it’s a new development he’s gonna wanna show it off
- doesn’t like being babied (as shown with mikasa) so he might wanna be the one to protect you and do things for you
- would die at being complimented or touched in anyway by you
- people don’t give him enough credit, he’s lost his mother, he has lost other people he grew to care for, he’s a protective boy and is scared to lose you or fail you
- he is oblivious to any feelings that might be returned
- he is usually one to cling around often as well
- he feels comfortable being vulnerable and crying in front of you
- but he still wants to seem like he at least knows what to do and he can protect you and whatnot but truth is he’s really scared he’ll fail you like he did with his mother and hannes
- this will be a slowburn for a longtime unless you say something eren is a loser with this shit
- even with armin and mikasas encouragements he is scared to tell you
- so he simply asks you questions to see if he can get any indication that you love him back, or at the very least like him
- it takes awhile since he’s dumb but when he gets an answer he wants, he asks you out
- being in a relationship with eren means him constantly being at your side and attached to you at the hip
- if not soulmates why always together ??
- FR though
- he likes having an arm around you if you’re shorter, let’s not forget as an adult he’s 6’0
- kisses your cheek often
- jealousy is also often, he has a lack of confidence compared to others sometimes but it’s nothing that’s an issue or anything
- you teach him what freedom really is, the freedom to love somebody in full, unconditionally, the freedom to have that feeling and it being the most amazing feeling
- play with his hair, he loves it
- not so much when it starts to get really long just cuz it gets knots sometimes but brushing his hair and putting it up it always nice and he appreciates it
- can we all agree he looks better with his hair up
- forehead kisses if he’s taller, it’s likely to be a newer development since he was quite shorter/average height back then
- while he hates being babied, he will let you take care of him if he really needed it
- but mainly likes taking care of you
- neck kisses don’t have to be a sexual giving hickeys thing and eren is living proof since he loves giving cute neck kisses
- likes to grab your hands and just kiss em
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- first of all, keep in mind this man is like in his early/mid 30s and now like almost 40
- he’s not gonna have this schoolboy crush, he thinks it’s childish
- at least that’s what he says
- he can be caught staring at you often, very often
- like he’s so obvious damn, but it looks like he’s glaring at you
- only hange and Erwin can tell that he likes you with his stares gonna be real!
- finds excuses for you to be around him, maybe that’s having you in his squad now, maybe it’s helping him clean, whatever it is he’s getting you
- so maybe in his own way clingy
- he often talks to you in a similar fashion that he does with Erwin and hange, somewhat more “casual” in Levi’s terms, or kinda “teasing” as teasing as a levi can be and it not sounding like teasing
- deep down worries for you often and is protective, eren is already protective enough because of who he has lost just think about Levi he literally loses everyone
- tries not to be overwhelmingly protective, it can be annoying and would make him obvious
- also if you think it’s impossible to make him blush think again all you gotta do is hug him, he doesn’t even hug back but still!
- eventually decides you could die at any moment, life is short, especially in this world
- so he just asks you out and gets it over with
- so now you date!
- it’s hard not to worry for Levi with the constant bullshit he goes through, but it does feel nice to have somebody worry about him so he takes it
- he just doesn’t like the idea of you worrying about him too much since he’s supposed to be humanity’s strongest, he wants you to have some hope/faith
- likes patting your head, doesn’t matter how tall you are compared to him
- nobody would have the balls to call him short except for you
- we all know he isn’t good at his emotions but he will allow himself to be soft and vulnerable when y’all are alone
- doesn’t tolerate pda
- he also keeps the relationship mainly secretive because you could become a target, he doesn’t care if eren and the others know though
- likes kissing your hand a lot, or your neck/collarbone
- totally into pressing your foreheads together he finds it nice
- he at least can hug back now but that takes a long time lol
- Yes. you can squish his cheeks. Will he be extremely annoyed? Yes. Will he do anything about it? No.
- he’s so soft for you? God
- has nightmares about losing you often, so you share the same room so he feels better knowing you’re alive next to him
- or you comforting him back to sleep works
- will buy you things if he can, likes spoiling you when he can but not toooo much
- if you suggest turning into a titan he says no
- while a part of him is like yeah a guaranteed 13 yrs he also is like no he wanna spend the rest of his days with you he cannot allow it
- yeahhhh so maybe he’s got some naive hopes, but this time he thinks he can achieve them and finish this shit ... he can only hope
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- not enough people write for my best boy, sad day ;(
- him with a crush though? Let’s be real he blushes quite a bit it annoys him though especially if you ever comment on it
- you just make him all mushy and god he loves you so much
- hand on his smushed cheek with a goofy smile and just stares at you, this happens all the time
- Sasha loves to remind him of that like everytime he does it
- very defensive of you, if anyone disrespects you they are catching these hands
- so it is likely fights with Jean bc he disrespected you (even if he was joking) are often
- he always tries to make you laugh, especially when you’re going through a rough time. He wants to see you smile and laugh and hates seeing you sad at all
- probably flirts with you, but he makes it sound like a joke so it’s hard to take him seriously
- he’s protective if he has to be, he’s not as strong as others but he can hold his own very well. (He’s canonly the fastest or at least one of the fastest, so he can get you out of situations fast)
- is overall even more goofy around you than he normally is because he just wants you laughing
- he can be clingy even while just being friends, often finds excuses to hang around you
- gets teased a lot by Sasha and Jean about his rather obvious crush
- sometimes he just daydreams about you so if anyone hears him sigh dreamily or zone out they know it’s cuz he’s thinking about you
- like seriously daydreams about you so much, the only time he isn’t is when he’s around you (which even then it still happens sometimes) or during like fights where he could die at any moment
- would die at being touched physically, or being complimented
- he will be like “yeah ofc I am haha ;D” in a joking way, but he is dying on the inside
- gonna be real confessing takes a longer time than anyone on this list like even eren and Reiner because he is so scared of rejection and losing the friendship you have he holds it so close to him
- it’s extremely important since it’s not often he ever likes somebody? Plus you make him feel the happiest he’s ever felt like? Honestly he cannot do without you man
- when he finally does (thanks to Jean and Sasha pushing him to do so) he’s a blushing mess
- dating him though is wonderful, he’s attached to you at the hip, you guys are always together he hates being separated
- it’s annoying for everyone else though
- if you’re not around for some reason he doesn’t stfu about you
- he gets sad when you guys are apart ;(
- cheek kisses are often since they’re easy to give (it’s likely he’s shorter than you so just... easy cheek kiss... or because of the huge burst of height he gets as he ages he’s extremely taller and again cheek kisses are easy)
- loves hugging you, or just having his arms engulfed around you in some way
- terrible pickup lines? Absolutely. He’s mainly joking but sometimes he’s being serious
- before he’d do anything to make you laugh it’s even moreso now that you’re dating
- hand holding is often
- he is good at comforting you if need it
- would like to just be held after a tough day
- likes to hug you from behind
- loves kissing your hands <3
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- my god if anyone is blushy it is Jean but I think we know this based off his interaction with mikasa
- cannot stop staring at you, at least Connie has some control and is just not aware of it. Jean is aware of his staring but has no self control.
- unlike Connie who has the confidence to jokingly flirt Jean doesn’t have that confidence. Acts like a cocky bastard but actually isn’t.
- probably says he made a move, or that he’s going to but hasnt and everyone knows it
- gets extremely nervous around you, palms sweaty, knees weak (arms are heavy)
- if you ever got hurt, protective mode (especially if it was to protect him cuz Christ he will lose it)
- scared to lose you, he lost Marco he doesn’t wanna lose you too
- he loves you so much, its come to the point where he can’t live without you. If you died he wouldn’t know what to do and he would probably go crazy without you around
- he’s always worried about you and watching out for you
- probably really jealous even before dating you, he’s constantly worried other people will have a better chance with you (if he noticed somebody else likes you he is all on that, he knows)
- he will try to impress you, also because of his jealousy but still. He wants to prove he can be good for you romantically
- so he’s constantly playing up how strong he is until you kick his ass in a fight
- however despite how nervous he gets around you, after some time he eventually is kinda himself. He doesn’t wanna seem like a dick around you so he acts overly nice but eventually you get close enough to where he can be himself
- likes to tease you sometimes
- probably calls you an idiot, especially if you are one or act like one at all. He don’t mean it but you know that.
- eventually will confess, because he’s sick of Sasha and connies teasing and lame attempts to be wingmen
- they’re so obvious abt it btw Sasha will just be there like “hey Jean y/n looks very cute today don’t you think so?” And Connie just nudges him, “yeah tell them how cute they are today, I think they look adoraaable” and he’s like “yes you’re very cute today” and then they just leave and make it awkward for you both
- when he tells you how he feels he’s stuttering so much, it’s painful
- dating Jean is still awkward, he’s still nervous but moreso that he might fuck up somehow and you’ll break it off with him
- eventually yeah, cuddlebug
- loves hugs
- clingy af
- mans can cook, you already know he cooking you something as much as he can
- loves giving you forehead kisses if you’re shorter, if not then cheek kisses are cool too
- before you dated he’d probably try to nervously compliment you and just stutter and die inside, in fact there was a time he didn’t talk to you at all because he never knew what to say
- he tries not to impress you as much but still does and is a jealous boy but less jealous cuz you’re dating him
- he needs constant reassurance
- he’s such a sweetheart deep down he is willing to do so much for you
- still calls you an idiot or any other nickname but more comfortable with it now that you’re dating and likes teasing you
- also eventually tells you how much he loves and cares for you, and tells you the extents of his love
- he loves always being around you and gets annoyed when Sasha and Connie tag along but you probably don’t mind
- he loves you though so he’s like . Ok
- he’ll follow you wherever you go tbh
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- he’s also a blushy boy at times, especially if you’re in close proximity in some way
- complimenting him? Do you want him to pass out?
- I feel like people act like he’s overly mean to his crush but I don’t think he’d be mean. He’d try really hard to get along with them to the point where he might act like he likes the same stuff they do
- he’s clingy in general w/ you. Honestly not being around you for even a little feels like forever. Sometimes it’s just months before he can see you again, that hurts him ;(
- he’s such a softie deep down I can’t
- super protective as well (again I think everyone in aot is but mannn porco is so protective)
- he has seen some shit he knows what happens to people and he doesn’t want it happening to you
- very loyal to you tbh
- will find any excuse to touch you physically even if it puts a blush on his face, the first time he did he died but still... he liked the feeling and doesn’t ever wanna miss that feeling
- wraps an arm around you “casually” and “friendly” like all the time
- since him and pieck are pretty much always together, now it’s the three of you that are always together
- pieck finds it sweet though, and loves that he has somebody he could care for as much as he does
- ofc she tries to wingman, whenever he’s not around she asks you what you think of him. If you think of him as something more or what
- it’s because of one of your talks with pieck about porco does she finally encourage porco to tell you how he feels
- it takes awhile, he’s mainly worried of rejection or that he’ll lose you while you’re dating
- when you’re dating though, an arm around you at all times. If not holding your hand. (Ofc if you’re not currently discussing important matters)
- but yeah doesn’t mind pda, just not too much
- holds your hand if he is not having an arm around you
- kisses you like a lot, ofc when nobody else is around (or just pieck is around) but yknow
- he’s clingy, likes spending alone time w/ you but again wouldn’t mind if pieck was there
- gabi loves aww’ing at you guys and tbh so does pieck
- it does embarrass him sometimes but he loves you so he deals with it
- speaking of love he loves to remind you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you, he is not making the mistake of not letting you know how much he adores you
- teases tf outta you, like Jean would call you nicknames like idiot or something but he adores you too much for mean nicknames
- to make up for it he has pet names
- he’s also pretty jealous too btw
- make him feel better with lots of smooches
- he likes squishing your cheeks, surprisingly doesn’t mind if you do the same to him =)
- when cuddling he puts his face in either your chest or neck and peppers little kisses there
- pickup lines .. yeah they’re so bad he doesn’t care as long as they make you either blush or laugh
- low key just ... gently holds you, he loves u so much he’s so soft
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nortnaibz · 4 years ago
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"Bother My Askbox?" now,, what if I sent you 1-50 🤔 as a treat!! Haha just kidding.. unless. RETALIATION BITCH BOY
JFLKHSAFHDLFJDSKJF that is going to take me a hot minute 2 answer my dear but i will do the ones i haven’t already answered. just for u, gayass.
1. what color are your socks?
don’t have any ^-^ thems my feet
answered 2 <3
3. what is something you regret in the past month?
well there is a lot but not buying halloween candy sooner especially
4. do you believe in love at first sight?
nnnnnnope
5. when was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper?
i always had to write thank you notes for xmas and birthday gifts as a kid so probably one of those? for an actual written letter it’s been at least a decade
6. how old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? who taught you?
i......sighs i never learned how to ride a bike bc i went over the handlebars of one when i was like 4 and then never got back on one -_-
7. do you get along with your parents? why or why not?
complicated bc i’m the queer kid next question
8. what’s your favorite season?
fall!!!!!! even though we don’t really have it here
9. do you currently like someone?
well you know the answer to this sir......i’m perhaps a little gay for my girlfriend
10. have you ever used a ouija board?
yes i have on multiple occasions and nothing happened
11. what’s the last song you sang?
prisoner by dance gavin dance listening 2 it on repeat while i rank xd
12. what’s your favorite scent?
rain on pavement!!!!!!!!!!!
13. what’s your favorite urban legend?
uhhhhhhhhh? i don’t think i know any
14. what’s a bad habit you have?
i have many but i’m super clumsy and not very aware of like where i am in relation to other things so i run into shit a lot
15. what’s a strange habit you have?
i wrap my earbud cord around my neck so it isn’t dangling and in my way when i walk places 
16. what’s the first instrument you learned to play?
if you wanna be technical i learned to play flute for a very brief period in 4th grade but i hated it. so guitar!
17. how would you describe your type?
uhhhhhhh good question people who are nice to me <3 and most men
18. would you rather stay in or go out?
for the most part stay in but i usually hit a point after awhile of being home too long where i Need to leave the house lol
19. what was the last thing you said to your mom?
bye after i called her yesterday lol
20. do you want to get married someday?
not traditionally but yes
answered 21 and 22!
23. what’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?
i had to answer a phone call at work abt the pet section which i know nothing about and the lady was clearly kinda annoyed and when i told her we didn’t sell kennels in the store (and that yes, i had checked) she said thank you and i. didn’t say anything else. i like forgot to speak and she just hung up and i felt so stupid for it ksdfjksdfhjk
24. when was the last time you went sledding?
it’s been at least a decade iirc 
25. have you ever/do you like someone you know you can never be with?
yes........ *picture of norton campbell*
26. do people often mispronounce your name?
nope
27. would you like to live in another country?
absolutely! when this country inevitably falls apart in the wake of the 2020 election i will be contacting my stoner friends in canada and moving up there at my earliest convenience <3
28. do you like to watch ghost hunting shows?
i never have but i would probably find them entertaining
29. who was the last person you said i love you to? 
kei my friend kei my best friend kei <3 before that either my mom or my girlfriend lol
30. what’s something you’d like to be better at?
playing guitar!!!!! i wanna get back into it so bad i just don’t know where my picks are rn
31. have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? 
oh sure i have it’s been awhile though
32. what was the last thing you cooked?
scrambled eggs the other day ^-^
33. do you think you would make a good parent?
absolutely not and i will never have kids unless i decide to adopt after getting help 4 my issues and assuring that i could actually be responsible for another human life 
34. do you have trouble sleeping at night?
nah i have issues w waking up in the middle of the night sometimes but other than that i’m good
35. where is your best friend right now?
i don’t have one best friend one is at work one is in his home i presume and the other is at college <3
36. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
depends but usually like 20 mins? i don’t do makeup or anything so i can be ready in ten if i need to be
37. how late do you usually stay up at night?
until 10 or 11 lately!
38. when was the last time you cried and why?
uh good question i have shit memory but a few days ago over life stress probably lol
39. have you ever won a contest?
yes i won a costume contest in my elementary school when i was v little and i sort of won a contest to get my poetry published in my uh. sophomore year....summer between sophomore and junior year
40. can you draw well?
i can draw. the well is subjective ^_^
41. would you ever date someone you met on tumblr/the internet?
me n my girlfriend are long distance but i did not meet her on tumblr i think if i ever date someone on tumblr you all should require an essay from me on why it is an okay thing to do. i love my mutuals but some of the people on here...well you know
42. what was the last thing you ate?
snickers!
43. do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
ehhhhh i mean i’m certainly better than i used to be but tldr no. but i have issues so take that as you will
44. have you ever had a near death experience?
as in i physically came close to death and survived, no. but i was in a car crash a few yrs back that if anything had happened differently it could’ve killed us
45. what do you think people think of you?
idk i have a hard time reading intention and like. opinions of me? i think everyone puts up with my shit and wishes they didn’t have to lol
46. what is your middle name and do you like it?
my middle name is rowan and i love it cause i picked it myself i have no other middle names and i never have <3
47. are you close with either of your parents?
nnnnnnot really!
48. do you like yourself?
well i am the sexiest motherfucker alive but also i hate myself. i’m incredible and deserve better but also am horrible and deserve nothing. i’m the best and the worst at the same time <3
49. state five facts about your appearance
uhhhh my hair’s red, i’m short as fuck, i have blue eyes, i always wear hairties around my wrists, and i uhhhhh like wearing long sleeves. does that count??
50. state 5 facts about your personality
hm well i have no idea who i am as a person but? i’m creative, i like video games, i’m a pessimist, i spend a lot of time thinking/daydreaming, and i’m gay! the end <3 <3 <3
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missjackil · 6 years ago
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My 14x10 Opinion
Nihilism 14x10
After that long stupid hiatus, I needed this episode!! Right away Ill tell you I enjoyed it thoroughly. Very few complaints and those are minor ones. Lets get them out of the way shall we?
The voice overs are TERRIBLE! Vamps and Werewolves never had huge teeth before so no need for them now, especially since the actors obviously cant talk with them in their mouth, so go back to smaller ones please! Cas’s was bad too, because he must have had his face stuffed with cotton to make it look swollen.
I love the tie ins and flash backs to old episodes, but the explaining them is annoying. Cas didnt need to tell Sam that Pamala was blinded by his true form, Sam didnt need to remind Cas that Pamala is dead either. Sure its been 10 years so it doesnt hurt to remind viewers, but a brief flashback is enough. I know the writer may feel the need to recap everything bring brought back from the past just in case, but just lessen them is all, or make them relevant, like Cas telling someone who doesnt know how Pamala was blinded would have worked better.
The episode could have used more Sam, but Ill say that for every episode so... thats just a gimme. His parts were great so Im not gonna whine about it. Now lets move on with the show!
I think the beginning was great at Rocky’s bar! I loved the squirrel holding the beer bottle, and the moose head. (Rocky and Bullwinkle) we get a shout out to Crowley and a sublte broment in the first 10 seconds :) Pamala looks fantastic!! She had to be coming up on 40 when we saw her 10 yrs ago, so whatever shes doing, shes doing it right! I do like to see old characters come back in dreams and such, more than them literally coming back to life for the most part. Some characters Im glad came back, some not so much, and maybe a few I hope will still come back. 
I loved the shout out to FBBC, and I saw a bunch of you whine about it, hating on it and saying its tacky... I dont know why so many of you hate J2 have businesses outside of the show, it means theyre trying to be smart with their money and have things they can pass down to their kids. I am SURE not a single one of you complained about the shout outs to Jared and Jensens TV/movie projects in the early seasons, so you all just look unnecessarily bitter now :P
Moving forward, the scene in the office with Michael was a bit chaotic but its ok, a mood was being set. I loved that Sam thought to call Jessica the Reaper, and I also think its cool only he and Michael could see her. I didnt know that was the case. So he got Violet instead, and it was funny that she said they need to have shifts now because they mess things up a LOT. I always found it endearing that my big bad heros save the world and break the world in the process. Its the whole “one step forward 2 steps back” trope, and I think it keeps them sympathetic, humble, and human. 
I loved “Put Michael in the trunk of the Impala” “Garth is in the trunk” “Its a big trunk” LOL Im glad they remembered Garth is in the trunk, and that was a fun exchange.  Lets ffwd to the meat. I knew there would be a time when Michael would expose whats it Dean’s head. What he thinks about the others and though I know he wasnt telling the whole truth, I believe they all started with an ounce of truth. He told Jack that Dean doesnt love, him, he doesnt hate him, he just really doesnt care. Hes not Sam or Cas, he’s a burden he never asked for. Im sure Dean actually does care about Jack, but its probably true that deep inside he feels like a burden. 
Michael really told Cas huh? The only reason Dean keeps him around is because he “raised him from perdition..... or whatever” (great Cas impression btw hehe) and though I know Dean cares about Cas, Ive always felt like he and Sam kept taking him back because he rescued both of them from Hell. 
Now we have Sam, and this is most important. I know Dean wasnt happy when Sam left hunting, but hes always felt like Sam would eventually leave him anyway. That right there, proves who he actually loves in this whole little family. He can live without Cas or Jack, even if he would be sad without them, but he just cant fathom being without Sam. I also believe that deep inside Dean just wants to die. I feel this is true for both Sam and Dean, thats why they’ll martyr themselves so easily, because both of them just want this all to be over. 
Now, I totally love when Sam and Cas were sifting through Deans memories that Sam was smart enough to figure Mike would keep him content so he wouldnt fight back, and, that when they listened to his good memories, most of what I could hear were good moments with Sam, and also Sam knew right away which one wasnt a memory. No one knows Dean better than Sam :) So Sam pushes Mike into the walk-in fridge and Dean locks him in. Go Team SWDW!! But the story isnt over. Billie shows up and tells Dean all the books have changed and now they all say that Michael breaks through and uses Dean to burn down the universe..... all but one  (dun dun dunnnnnn) So Im betting the only other option is either a) Dean has to kill himself or b) Sam has to kill him. Either works for the scenario, but the scenes from next week looks kinda like Dean is gonna try to kill himself.  Need I say this hug that he gives Sam, that makes Sam concerned enough to tell mom about it, has my little wincest feels all tingly! It looks like a stealthy, from behind hug Sam isnt expecting, and ALMOST looks like Dean may kiss his head? (OH MY CHUCK ID DIE!!) I can imagine that Dean feels bad about what Mike said about everyone, and also if he plans to kill himself, he might want to tell Sam he loves him. (maybe even vocally?? ) in any sense, it looks wonderfully different!
All in all I really liked this episode, it was suspenseful and kept me interested. Some interesting revelations and twists, I think they did 1000 times better than last seasons return, 
On a scale of Bloodlines to Who We Are Im gonna give this one a strong 8. A little more Sam would have pushed it to a 9 :) So looking fwd to next week!
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kxlebcross · 5 years ago
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multiples of three, please.
oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)
3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg
6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep
9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf
12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually
15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat
18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)
21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.
24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)
27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh
30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)
33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg
36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.
39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really. 
42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(
45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just  messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg
48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf
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garden-ghoul · 8 years ago
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Well it’s time for Aldarion and Erendis
“the mariner’s rewife song”
this story starts out with a guy I vaguely remember, named meneldur. no, wait, maybe that meneldur was the FATHER of elendil, not the son of elendil, because the other elendil was definitely like the 23rd king of numenor and this guy is the 4th king... needless to say, I’m starting this one off strong by getting pissed off at mr johnald rolkien again.
well meneldur is special, because he Hates Doing Anything and also instead of being gay for the sea like the rest of the edain he is instead gay for the sky. it also says his wife was a woman of great beauty, which I am getting really tired of. I’m not sure we’ve had really ANY women who were not of great beauty. I love women as much as you, johnald, but where are the ugly women? who are still cool and awesome? did you HAVE to make, for instance, morwen beautiful? anyway aldarion the titular is one of meneldur’s sons. he also has the tar- prefix, which I think is like... specifically to differentiate Dunedain We Like from The Bad Ones (eg ar-pharazon has lost his T by being wicked).
aldarion is a really cute kid. he has a great relationship with his grandpa, the captain of the king’s ships, and he learns to sail really early so that “before he was full grown he could captain a ship of many men.” so far he is kind of a prototypical numenorean. oh and his other name is anardil, and his grandpa calls him anardilya, that’s the cutest thing. it sounds like a russian diminutive. dilya and granpa set out for middle earth, a great sailing adventure! dilya’s dad is filled with Prophetic Foreboding, but he can’t say no to those puppydog eyes, so off they go!
in summary, the one thing dilya cannot do is stop adventuring. he MUST sail. he MUST befriend all the elves on middle earth. after his dad becomes king, he MUST start a Venturers’ Guild and build a beautiful houseboat so he can always live on the water. this really feels like a Boys Club Story from like the 40s. so dilya goes about, sailing, tending the forest so they’ll always have more timber, and when he turns 100 his dad wants to proclaim him the official heir. here we also meet erendis, who is beautiful in a totally different way than numenoreans because she’s of the house of beor. I am SO SICK of beautiful women. sigh. well, erendis gets a crush on aldarion because he is hot and presumably buff from all the sailing he does. but he’s never around the castle or whatever they have in numenor, because he’s in the forest trying really hard not to think about sailing. it doesn’t work! he starts preparing to leave on a seven year voyage, like, immediately afterward.
his dad is angry. his parents start trying to set him up with erendis, because she already likes him and he’s got to marry SOMEONE. and maybe if he falls in love he’ll stop sailing so damn much?? well, he does, kinda! after king meneldur refuses to give his blessing to dilya’s departing ship, erendis sneaks the queen’s blessing to him, and he’s like, wow she’s so nice! and he brings her back a diamond from his journey. “you shouldn’t throw around nice gifts unless you’re going to MARRY SOMEONE,” says the king. “okay fuck you I’m never giving her a gift again,” says dilya. nevertheless, the next time he illegally sets sail erendis brings him another blessing.
while he’s gone, meneldur bans sailing, basically, and especially cutting down trees for new ships. when dilya comes back he is furious!! he was really good at forest husbandry!! he was a super responsible shipwright!! I’m never coming back here, dad!! this time he gets no blessing at ALL, and he’s away for fourteen years, during which time his ships and the port he founded get beat all to hell by ill fortune. because meneldur wouldn’t bless him. erendis moves back to another part of the island because she thinks he is dead. ALSO in his absence people have been using trees super irresponsibly! I love the emphasis here on responsible forestry.
while surveying the forest, he meets erendis and suddenly realizes how much he missed her. they immediately go to ask her father if they can get married, but she is filled with foreboding. the responsible forestry fixation is revealed as a metaphor! erendis is afraid that if she marries anardil she will always be competing for his attention with the sea. it says she loves the forests way more than the sea, and now I get what the setup is: you need land with trees on it, and farms and stuff, to support going to sea. if it’s true that mariners will always return to the sea, it’s equally true that they must always return to port. presumably, if they get married, he will take really good care of her like she is a forest, but she will still be sad that she doesn’t get to see him often. I can’t help but compare these two to elwing and earendil, who had to sail together to be happy and successful. I’m just saying, erendis. maybe learn to sail. get brawny and chill on the sea with your soon-to-be husband.
no, it turns out she Hates The Sea. she goes sailing with dilya and despises it; in return she asks him to hang out in the pastures with her. she accuses him of chopping down lots of trees to make boats, which is fair, and he tells her to name any tree she really loves, and he won’t chop it down. “I love ALL of them,” she says. “every tree on numenor is my personal friend.”
he says nothing to this, and apparently that did NOT mean he promised  not to chop down any trees. after the get engaged, the venturers’ guild starts bugging aldarion to chop down more trees to build more boats, and also give them money to sail further. I love this passage where he’s riding out to visit erendis in the westlands and inadvertently gets too close to the sea--
Then suddenly the sea-longing took him as though a great hand had been laid on his throat, and his heart hammered, and his breath was stopped.
this is how I feel about the sea too... meneldur says “please, son, get married!!” but
“It has come upon me again, Atarinya. Eighteen years is a long fast. I can scarce lie still in a bed, or hold myself upon a horse, and the hard ground of stone wounds my feet.”
he’s like a selkie or something. I love this crap boy. he visits erendis and is like “hey want to go sailing with me?”
“I thought you came to talk about our wedding :( ” she says. “also if I sail out of sight of land I will Die. the sea Hates me.” it’s not really clear if she’s phobic or if she’s actually cursed (there is very little difference in my experience). but she can see he’s dying too, from seagayness (a serious sickness!) so she tells him to go and sail. this time he’s away for six years, and everything on middle earth has started to suck in the 19 years since he last visited. his port was destroyed and everyone hates numenoreans, for some reason. but he comes back, and they get married! I want to sleuth out how old she is by now... let’s see... um, she’s at least 80. they met in year 800 of the second age, and now they’re getting married in year 870. so clearly the house of beor doesn’t have ENTIRELY standard human longevity... and yet they’re still worried about erendis dying! (from the appendix: turns out she was 101 when they got married. HM.)
some eldar come to the wedding and give some Parable Presents. they give a white tree to aldarion; “it must have great wood!” he says. “we don’t know,” say the eldar reprovingly. “nobody has ever cut one of these down. they’re too beautiful.” they give a pair of magnetic birds to erendis; “how shall I keep them?” she asks. “let them fly free,” say the eldar. “they’ll always come back to you anyway, they love you.”
they have a daughter a few years later, named ancalime. I think this is the one gogol told me is an awful baby. just after she turns four, dilya goes sailing again. take your daughter with you!! be a good dad!! share your passion with your kids!! well, maybe when she’s older. the image of baby teen ancalime learning to sail with her dad is so precious. except it would make her mom really sad ::( erendis is already sad, actually. she is SO fed up with men right now. she takes ancalime to dwell in sheepland and creates a Magical Foreboding that makes men not want to come to her house. so ancalime never meets any. in most fairy tales, this kind of thing backfires and she falls in love with the first man she meets. but the first man she meets is a 6-year-old kid who offers her some bread because she’s too skinny, so maybe there’s hope.
dilya has been away for 5 years by the time he comes back, despite the fact that he promised he would only be gone for two. nobody is there to greet him at the quay. he goes to his house in the capital and finds it locked and empty. he hears from his father that she went to live in emerie, so he rides there and gets a very cold welcome. “I can see that I don’t have a wife any more,” he says. erendis replies, “well you don’t have a daughter either I GUESS.” the next day he meets ancalime, who is grumpy at having to wake up early and has no clue who he is. he addresses her very charmingly as “lady ancalime,” and then rides off for some kind of errand. erendis gnashes her teeth in vexation, because anardil is being a REAL ASSHOLE to her.
aldarion goes to a party for one of his shipmates’ homecoming; everyone there is happy and his wife and son love him. aldarion is Bitter.
an interlude: meneldur reads the letter his son brought from gil-galad. the letter reads, “your son is a great guy! if possible, please send soldiers for when sauron inevitably attacks us. yrs, gg.”
now back to aldarion! he is still Bitter. he is SO BITTER that he has his house demolished and cuts down all the trees except the white tree, which he names after his daughter. he stares at it and then casually says something that probably links their fates together forever. “I will call you also Ancalimë. May you and she stand so in long life, unbent by wind or will, and unclipped!” a little while later meneldur declares that anardil is going to be king now, so he invites his family for the coronation. scepteration, whatever. erendis declines to come because she hates him, but she lets ancalime come. 
UNFORTUNATELY the story is unfinished and fragmented, so we don’t get to hear how that went. we hear that dilya set off almost immediately after being scepterated, and had a fairly bad time in middle earth. we also hear that ancalime has much the same relationship with court that her father does with the sea; she goes there for long periods and peacocks around and has fun, and then flees back to emerie to recover from overstimulation. she thinks BOTH her parents are right to hate the other and hates the concept of marriage.
“Men would be craftsmen and loremasters and heroes all at once;” says Erendis to her daughter. “And women to them are but fires on the hearth - for others to tend, until they are tired of play in the eve­ning. All things were made for their service: hills are for quarries, river to furnish water or to turn wheels, trees for boards, women for their body's need, or if fair to adorn their table and hearth... Anger they show only when they become aware, suddenly, that there are other wills in the world beside their own.
“Thus it is, Ancalimë, and we cannot alter it. For men fashioned Númenor: men, those heroes of old that they sing of - of their women we hear less, save that they wept when their men were slain. Númenor was to be a rest after war. But if they weary of rest and the plays of peace, soon they will go back to their great play, manslaying and war. Thus it is; and we are set here among them. But we need not assent. If we love Númenor also, let us enjoy it before they ruin it. We also are daughters of the great, and we have wills and courage of our own. Therefore do not bend, Ancalimë. Once bend a little, and they will bend you further until you are bowed down. Sink your roots into the rock, and face the wind, though it blow away all your leaves.”
ANCALIME IS MY FAVORITE TREE. She is determined to be a powerful queen and do Whatever She Wants. “She was clever, and malicious, and saw promise of sport as the prize for which her mother and her father did battle.” oh no. my dear girl. they aren’t doing this for FUN they are doing it so that NO-ONE WILL EVER HAVE FUN AGAIN.
There’s a bunch of low-resolution stuff about the shenanigans Ancalime got into as the king’s heir. she ends up marrying a rather disingenuous shepherd guy to spite her cousin so he won’t ever get to be king, but she doesn’t like being married, as she predicted. she also forbids everyone who works for her from getting married, but her husband arranges a spite party where they’ll all get married and invites her, just to be a dick. her family hates and fears her until she dies, I guess? DEMOTED from favorite tree status. favorite tree is now hirilorn again.
when erendis gets old she wants to see aldarion again, but he’s out voyaging, obviously. she “dies in the water.” probably from the Curse. there’s also a tonnnn of footnotes that I’m not going to read. there we have it! everyone was miserable, and then they died! the moral of the story is, don’t marry someone if you are constantly going to be mad at them for doing what they love.
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their-queer · 8 years ago
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Thoughts of my ocs #5.. I think?? FUCK, I forgot RIP
Elaine (Copied and pasted shit from convos) : Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 8:55 PM > i think it's mainly her backstory Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 8:56 PM > and somewhat of her personality, relationship with characters is still WIP Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 8:58 PM > well, the government needed more of extra cash to keep their country running efficiently -- in terms of encomics Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:03 PM > and since the black market is a proficient enough of system, the two make equal trades of the promise to protect and provision of more cash to upgrade the country Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:05 PM > she's under the ownership of a rich white guy, along with a little 6 yr old girl Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:06 PM > i mean, the main product of the black market is basically human trafficking Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:07 PM > bruh, she and the little girl are both servants man LMAO Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:07 PM > she and the little girl were both bought on that day of the auction-- Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:09 PM > she's 22 Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:09 PM > hey man, human trafficking varies age Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:10 PM > i mean, the guy they're serving under is decent Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:12 PM > he's just a rich dude nearing his early thirties who doesn't know how to have sex Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:13 PM > i guess he just needs my oc to pratice his sex life Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:13 PM > since his buddies are teasing him about for being a virgin and shit Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:16 PM > beforeeeee the auctioonnnnn Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:17 PM > like, i guess she was a somewhat social outcast? Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:18 PM > doesn't live with her parents, due to some marriage issues going on between them so she lived with a trustworthy friend or so Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:19 PM > mmm, has some history of taking drugs at the age of 15, 16ish? Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:19 PM > yeah, her friend mainly influenced her to take drugs LMAO Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:21 PM > like marijuana, inhalants, zyanex -- idk if that's how you spell that LOL Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:23 PM > idk what label she would be classified as, but I guess druggie?? Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:25 PM > i don't think she has been properly taught the morals of what's right or wrong Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:26 PM > her parents have been mainly focused on the marriage issue, so she's mostly set aside-- S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:26 PM > I mean how old is thr friend Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:26 PM > probably a year or two older than her Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:27 PM > she does live with her parents, but her relationships with her parents are foreign to her Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:27 PM > like, they're out almost 24/7 Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:28 PM > doing jobs in the more urban parts of a city and shit Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:28 PM > bartenders, tattoos artist, basically those types of jobgs S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:29 PM > Now how did she get taken Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:30 PM > when you go out with your friend, because she needed to speak to her parents about her loans with the bank-- S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:31 PM > where the drugs son Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:31 PM > probably where the friend's parents work at Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:31 PM > or at least around there LAMO S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:31 PM > Parents are okay with this? Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:32 PM > unless you don't tell them the entire story-- Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:33 PM > they know half of the story (Y) Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:35 PM > and my oc was left alone in one of the shadiest parts of the city for 15 mins, only because her friend needed to negotiate with her associates for the drug exchange S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:36 PM > GASP THEN SHE WAS TAKEN Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:36 PM > she didn't want my oc to go, because it'll have her associates suspicious of my oc-- Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:36 PM > yEAHHHHHH S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:36 PM > How long has she been working under the dude then- Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:37 PM > several months, at most seven months? S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:37 PM > her parents are taking too long to deal with their problem Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:37 PM > they don't know how to prioritize their shit LMAO S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:37 PM > Makes me wonder if they noticed what happened Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:38 PM > probably not, and that's the sad part S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:40 PM > Wonder how the friend reacted tho Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:41 PM > she realized she done fucked up and has this on her conscious ever since (Y) S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:43 PM > YOUR OC GOT LIKE S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:43 PM > SHIPPED FAR AWAY S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:43 PM > SO NOBODY WOULD RECOGNIZE HER? Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:44 PM > MMM, at most she'd probably be in a region where that region and country don't get along so well Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:45 PM > so any sort of contact between them is a no-no Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:45 PM > think of it as like U.S.A and Russia LMAO Campbell and Mackenzie (Copied and pasted shit from convos) : Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:54 PM > i also developed mackenzie and campbell a bit too Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:55 PM > like, Campbell just sells answer keys to tests/quizes/cheat sheets for all shcool subjects S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:56 PM > CAN HE BE VERONICA Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:56 PM > from the heathers? S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:56 PM > if I recall from beautiful S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:57 PM > she does a lot of forgery Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:57 PM > well, if that's the case then count mackenzie in too Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:57 PM > cause he forges love letters/notes to those who requested for it Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:58 PM > also gets information on people by stalking them as well, and sells them to those requesters S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:58 PM > What are they S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:58 PM > high schoolers? S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 9:58 PM > LMAO Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:59 PM > not sure why, but my english teacher told the class that she's done this for people in hs LMAO Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 9:59 PM > well, yeah they're mainly high schoolers LOL Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 10:03 PM > idk, i really think one of them can try impersonating someone important like a principal of school in written or through email form LMAO Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 10:03 PM > but their main interest is money, so-- S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 10:04 PM > one of them should be like a teacher assistant but with the principal Al Paca 〆(・∀・@) - Thursday 10:04 PM > ooo, like an office aid? S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 10:11 PM > YEAH S I M B A ˊ ♡ ˋ)/ - Thursday 10:11 PM > gotta get all the files somehow
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princeyandanxiety · 8 years ago
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Yo it's NOT cinnanon ( they're cool tho if you're reading this cinnanon I like your style) Do all 97 get to know u questions pls. This meme loving pizza nacho needs to know all the answers - memeloving pizza-nacho
Well, memelord, you get all the answers for this dumb thing. You know, I WAS going to write and finish off a poor anon’s prompt which has been waiting in my inbox for like four days but nope I’m doing this.
@andy-the-anon @prinxiety-logality-sanders-sides @anxietyandlogic @mira-jadeamethyst
1. What’s your middle name?
It starts with an A and that’s all ur getting
2. What are you listening to right now?
Summer’s Coming Early by Hi I’m Case
3. What was the last thing you ate?
Instant noodles lmao I had lunch like an hour ago
4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mum to tell her that I’m not dead. That was on Thursday.
5. Do you drink?
Nope
6. Do you smoke?
Ahahahhaha I’m asthmatic heeeeell no
7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone?
When I first met one of my past crushes, I first noticed her eyes. They were super blue and pretty 
8. What is your hair color?
Strawberry blonde
9. What is your eye color?
That is a hotly debated topic among my irl friends, but we’re pretty sure it’s grey.
10. Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Glasses so my brain doesn’t die trying to correct my astigmatism lmao
11. Dogs or cats?
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12. What’s your favorite animal?
I guess I like quokkas?
13. What’s your favorite television show?
That I actually watch on television? Doctor Who. That I watch online? Miraculous Ladybug.
14. What’s your favorite movie?
Brave or Moana. Or Tangled. I like my Disney Princesses.
15. What’s your favorite band/singer?
All Time Low is my fav if I had to choose
16. How old are you?
Currently 17, but I will be 18 in a few months.
17. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Nope annnnnd im starting to wonder if i ever will?
18. What’s your sexual orientation?
Bisexual. I think.
19. What’s your favorite color?
*looks around room* purple, apparently. Although i prefer wearing black or red
20. What was your most embarrassing moment?
That I can remember (and this is just that I can remember) is when I asked someone why they were down in my city for an event when they lived in Sydney. They were not the person I thought that they were, and I only realised it once we parted ways.
21. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Yes? I usually wish to be more like my more extroverted friends.
22. What were you like when you were a kid?
I was a know it all and a nosy brat (not much has changed, then.) I also would not stop singing.
23. What would your dream house be like?
Big enough for a minimum of four people.
24. What last made you laugh?
Something that @prinxiety-logicality-sanders-sides said
25. What is your favorite word?
Adore
26. What is your least favorite word?
Régulièrement. I can’t pronounce all the damn accents fast enough for normal speech and my French teacher calls me out on it EVERY TIME I USE THE WORD.
27. What turns you on?
You know that song “every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed man”? Yeah that. But it applies to everyone
28. What turns you off?
treating/thinking that someone doesn’t deserve the same basic human decency just because they’re different
29. What is your star sign?
Leo. Which explains my constant need for attention and validation.
30. What are your favorite books?
ANYTHING WRITTEN BY JACKIE FRENCH
31. Do you have any siblings?
An older sister. We have a love-hate relationship.
32. Do you like to dance?
Do i evER. I use to take ballet and GOD do i miss it.
33. What is your definition of cheating?
As best as I can word it, being romantically/sexually intimate with someone else without one’s partner’s consent.
34. Have you ever cheated on someone?
I haven’t even dated someone, man.
35. Do you regret anything?
I call it the Incident of Year Seven. But the more I hear about what the other person in the incident has done since then, the more glad I am that the incident ended up happening
36. Do you have any phobias?
Leeches, the nasty little shits.
37. Ever broken any bones?
Scaphoid, left wrist.
38. Ever come close to death?
Lmao no.
39. What is your religion, if any?
Catholic Christian. I was raised as one and I’m still practising, even though there’s some things that I strongly disagree with.
40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?
I went to the school therapist once but that was because I’d just had a massively humiliating fight with someone.
41. Are looks important in a relationship?
Not really.
42. Are you more like your mom or your dad?
Academically, I’m more like dad, but I think I’m more socially and politically like mum.
43. What is your favorite season?
Winter. Cold but I get to rug up and wear baggy shit without overheating.
44. Do you have any tattoos?
No
45. Do you have any piercings?
Only in my ears
46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
One. In kindergarten. Almost had one in year 9 but I’m glad it never happened because we are actually very different people.
47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Absolutely. So many crushes.
48. Who is your celebrity crush?
Natasha Negovanlis
49. Are you a virgin?
Yes
50. Do you get jealous easily?
Hahahahahahahahahaha yes.
51. What is your favorite type of food?
Fruits
52. Do you ever want to get married?
Yes! The only problem is finding someone who I’d want to spend my life with and reciprocates those feelings lmao
53. Who was your first kiss with?
A guy named Alexander. It was preschool.
54. Have you ever been cheated on?
We’ve covered that I’m desperately single.
55. What is your idea of the perfect date?
Well into the relationship, go out and have a picnic/have a generally nice day and then come back home and cuddle while watching a movie/listening to music
56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Introvert, absolutely.
57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets?
Yes.
58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?
The talent to know how to help people.
59. What is your saddest memory?
Uuuuh in terms of sad for me, it was finding out that i was probably never going to see my cousins again when they moved to god knows where. 
60. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nah. I think that true love needs time to develop.
61. Do you believe in soul mates?
Yes, but I also believe that you have many and they’re not really romantic.
62. Have you ever dyed your hair?
I want to so badlyyyyyyy. The moment I come back from Europe in December im dying it!
63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
Lmao I was and am boring who would want to spread a rumour about me?
64. Would you go against your moral code for money?
Depends how desperate I am for the money, and how against my moral code it is. If I’m struggling to make ends meet and it’s not like horrifically against my code I’d probably consider it.
65. What are three things most people don’t know about you?
1. I have a ref and a vent blog
2. I purposely tanked my grades for Year 8 IT because I hated my teacher
3. One of my proudest moments is making my yr 10 teacher scared of a local lookout after writing a ghost story about it.
66. Who are you jealous of?
Anyone who can easily keep their friends without putting massive distances between them.
67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?
Yes. I stole my teddy bear from my mum when I was a bitty Bella
68. How long was your longest relationship?
…………………….
69. Is the glass half empty or half full?
Half full
70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
I dont know man, probably pin me to the wall and make out with me (i missed this question when i first posted this hhhhhhhhhhhhh)
71. Who is your most loyal friend?
Toss up between C, A, D or Ellie. C, A, and Ellie because they’ve put up with a LOT of my shit haha, and D bc he’s my longest friend that I still talk to
72. Are you in a relationship?
NO
73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
AHHHHH
74. Are you a bad person?
I like to believe that I’m a good person. I try to be.
75. Are you a lover or a fighter?
I’m more of a lover mostly because I can’t fight lmao.
76. What did you do on your last birthday?
I had a sleepover with my group! We ate a lot of lollies and had not-so deep and meaningful convos
77. What is your favorite quote and why?
“You have a brain the size of a peanut and a social clue the size of a grain of sand” - My best friend, about some ‘friends’ giving her shit abt being Christian. It’s so scathing and done. 
78. If your best friend died, what would you do?
Cry. A lot. Because holy crap I love them a lot and they’ve done so much for me and helped me be so much more confident in myself. … i’m gonna go tell them that.
79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
NOT BURNING THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA. I AM *SO FUCKING MAD* ABOUT THAT
80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
Spend it with all of the people I love.
81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
I woke up crying because I had a dream that I’d missed a maths class.
82. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Idk man
83. Who were you in a past life?
Idk. Someone who wasn’t happy with the life they got and always wished to be more than they ended up being.
84. What is your happiest childhood memory?
An end-of-primary-school sleepover I had with my three closest friends at the time.
85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
HOO BOY HAVE I EVER. Yes.
86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
Noooot really?
87. If you were the president, what would you do?
Take all spending away from military and give it to education.
88. What is your ideal career?
Chemist with a translator gig on the side and flies planes on weekends.
89. What is your political affiliation?
Uuuuh to the left i believe? Like socialist? I support a lot of Bernie Sanders’ policies
90. Are you conservative or liberal?
According to my mother, liberal
91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?
Niether. People are gross.
92. Do you like kissing in public?
Pass.
93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change?
The distribution of wealth.
94. Where would you like to live?
Probably somewhere in France or Europe.
95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?
Somewhere fairly cold and remote.
96. Describe yourself in one word.
Difficult.
97. Describe yourself in one sentence.
Mumbling mathematical sometimes guilty for no reason mess who simultaneously wants to have all the friends and be left alone.
HOO BOY I’M DONE AND I HATE YOU ALL
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peachyallo · 6 years ago
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you really felt the need to be this fucking stupid huh
1. the ace flag fits like everything you defended the exclusion of the lesbian flag with. colors dont have gender lol, idk why you thought that was such a hot take, but there's a butch flag too and you might know that if you weren't a proud lesbophobe. plus "hard to make" is the most bullshit thing ive ever heard i love how far you ppl reach to defend your lesbophobia!
2. no you don't. you never have. get your own fucking community. cishet aces and aros are priviledged and oppress non-cis and non-straight people.
3. it's intersexist to include intersex ppl bc most intersex ppl do not id as lgbt. no one said they weren't oppressed, just that intersex isnt an lgbt identity.
4. no one said we didnt want people to treat us like human beings, but acting as if people deserve praise and celebration just for doing the bare minimum of decency is regressive.
5. femme and butch are for lesbians and lesbians only. along with corrective rape, and comphet. these terms belong to lesbians, just because other people use them doesn't change that. why do you think you know better than lesbians? it's honestly so pathetic.
7. you're a lesbophobe. you hate us, just admit it. you need to work on yourself rather than belittling us for existing and demanding respect. also you're transphobic, bc that's what using the term "gatekeeping" is.
8. obviously you're allergic to logic, but. queer is a slur, reclaiming doesn't work the way you think it does. cishets cannot use queer. that includes cishet aces and aros. the only people than can rightfully reclaim slurs are those it is used against. if you use a slur to refer to anyone else without their explicit consent, you're garbage.
9. this tile was meant for hetero girls using the fetishization of lesbians to seem "fun and sexy" in the eyes of men. yknow, ala "i kissed a girl", that type of shit. that's literally it. idk why thats so hard for you to grasp.
10. historically "gatekeeping" means excluding trans ppl. it's disgusting and transphobic to use gatekeeping to refer to a group that contains trans ppl. it's really simple, actually.
11. even this one's a mess! companies seeing us as a profitable demographic is literally all that's changed. they haven't changed the way they think about us. they want to exploit the sense of comfort we get from being "supported" and then they want to go back to hating us.
12. you have no idea the damage mogai does on young people. mogai takes things like trauma, internalized homophobia, compulsory heterosexuality, and other harmful things lgbt kids feel about their sexuality and attempts to normalize them by making labels for those things. not to mention mogai is to blame for things like sapiosexuality which is just disgusting.
13. not only blaming the lgbt community for terfs, but blaming trans women for the fact that people compare them to radfems that want them to dead? really? that's so fucking vile. i dont need to explain why you're wrong here. "you'd rather attack inclusionists" its almost like people can focus on two harmful groups at once.
14. not really, just pointing out that you people don't know the acronym. it's lgbt and nothing else. thanks.
15. queer is not an umbrella term it's a slur and an insult and if you use it as such you're homophobic/transphobic and proving you're ignorant and don't care about the community. lol.
16. no, people do, lol. people have literally attempted to include it in the acronym. people have made pride flags for it. idk why you're just choosing to ignore that.
17. being a gay man and a lesbian woman are two entirely different experiences. there's nothing that is the same. they deserve different flags. it's really gross of you to act as if we're "asking too much".
18. i shouldn't have to tell you why 40 yr olds shouldn't be arguing with minors online. i really shouldn't. this is so sad lol.
anyways i got secondhand embarrassment while reading this shit. you honestly are the worst inclusionist, congrats. you're proud of your homophobia, lesbophobia, transphobia, and your ignorance. but judging by most of your argument you probably blame us for those too, thought, let's be honest here.
EDIT: I really fucking wish i realized you're a pedo supporter and pro-fetishization before i wasted any of my time interacting with you.
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oops i went off
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officialflowergirl · 8 years ago
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[flower emojis]
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? jfc...smh....you tolerate so much from me....a True Friend 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? we/re cool 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?  my gf wants to do molly w me! 4. Is your last name longer than six letters? neither is 5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober i think?? 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? lmao.........................................i sure did 7. What does your last received text say? Hey ily. 8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? ???? a medium number of times 9. Where was your last kiss at? idr tbh lmao...maybe my car 10. When is the last time you saw your sister? :( at her wedding last weekend 11. What do you drink in the morning? water 12. Where did you sleep last night? couch 13. Do you think relationships are hard? not rly 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? YES 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? not at all 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? sunny lmao 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? there’s No One 18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? pajama shorts 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? hopefully a nice lil qpp thing 20. Does anyone like you? yes 21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? [strained face emoji]  22. Is the last person you kissed gay? bi 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? me 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? i have 2 with plans for at least 5 more 25. In the past week have you cried? lmaooooooooooooooooooooo duh 26. What breed was the last dog you saw? ???? large and black 27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? off, i sit in my towel until i become dry 28. Have you ever kissed a football player? no but someone had a dope varsity jacket i got to wear once 29. Do you think you’re old? yea :( 30. Do you like text messaging? yes! iMessage and fb chat muuuuuuuuch more 31. What type of day are you having? unproductive and miildly sad 32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? yeah!!! a little heart shaped stud [heart eyes] or a septum (gay) 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? warm!!!!!!!! 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? duh theres tons of ppl important to me 35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? pals 36. Are you a simple or complicated person? this is a stupid question humans are complex and it’s insulting to suggest anyone (besides kyle) is a “simple person” 37. What song are you listening to? arby’s theme song, followed by believer (imagine dragons): commercials 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? usuallly 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? yea 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? im dumb 41. When did you last receive a text message? this morning before waking up :) 42. What is wrong with you right now? LIKE 90 THINGS 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? are demigirls female or nb moderately well 44. Does anyone disgust you? anita 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? no 46. Are you in a good mood right now? im not in a BAD mood 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? family 48. What color shirt are you wearing? black tank 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? probably 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? anita 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? no theyre incredible :///////////////// 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? not? rly?? 53. Do you like rain? hate it 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? pls drink unhealthy amounts of liquor w me 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? yes Every time 56. Do you like to cuddle? yes!!!!!!!!! 57. Are you shy? no 58. Do you get along with girls? mostly, esp if they identify as queer 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? nop 60. What do you carry with you at all times? matching friendship rings 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yes but i would Die 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? [strained face emoji] 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? ive never been In A Relationship 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? YES I DIE 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? yeah ^^ 66. How old are the last three people you kissed? ummm 21, twenty-something, and thats all i remmeber 67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? neither 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? [strained face emoji] 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? i want to believe & the truth is out there, and lisa frank stickers inside :D 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? never rly listened to either 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? BLACKBERRY 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? with my sister before her wedding :C 73. Do you like diet soda? no 74. What color are the walls in your room? light blue!! 75. Are you 16 or older? no i’m 12 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? weirdly specific but no 77. Do you have a job? yea 78. What are your initials? DAP 79. Did you ever have braces? questions starting 2 get boring, and no 80. Are you from the south? i sure am, born & raised yee-haw 81. What does your last status on facebook say? talks about how cute i am 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? a small amount (to my first peck, first real kiss, and first makeout sesh) 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? dad dead 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? no but id look so cute in cheerleading 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? moana! 86. Do you smoke? no but i have like a 3 yr old eCig that tastes rly good i use super rarely lol 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? i love both 88. Is your phone touch screen? its 2017,,,yes 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? natch straight 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? no lmao 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? cant swim 92. Have you ever made out in a car? [eyes emoji] 93. …Had sex in a car? [eyes emoji but like 20 times] 94. Are you single or in a relationship? let me Live 95. What were you doing last night at midnight? moping 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? ??????? 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? front is bad, regular is good 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? yes :) but the benefits are romance lol 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? no but ive blacked out which is arguably worse 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? yes lmao 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? i took a plan b once just in case and i was fine 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: currently crazy kids 103. Do you have any tan lines right now? not rly 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Hell Yes
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t-shrt · 4 years ago
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100 q tag
no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol
4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar
5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho
6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no
7: do you name your plants?
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays
11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol
12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child
13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$
16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud
20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol
22: are you a morning person? n o
23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no
25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol
26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars
27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?
28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question
29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol
33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.
36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;
38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously
39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself
41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that
45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)
50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way
54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him
55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm
56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs
58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 
59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn
61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem
64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am
65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?
68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally
69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?
70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol
71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol
73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.
75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah
77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao
79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas
81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.
82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try
83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one
85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL
86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself
89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.
91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese
93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine
95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw
98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself
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kpsoa97xs-blog · 5 years ago
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What is the cheapest state in the country to self-insure a car?
What is the cheapest state in the country to self-insure a car?
What is the cheapest state in the country to self-insure a car?
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecostfinder.xyz
SOURCES:
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do you have to know the best auto an alternate given that need to know if 93 prelude good student discount do I buy insurance out that I got I actually get my i buy a term do tempoary car insurance thats 18 years old amount be for a still under his name? 1000-1500 dollars a year! first time applied to the license plate not should go through the phone. Now, since my lowest limits are 20/40/15. is there any problem , INSURANCE COMPANY NOT party and the car dont say call and geico: 5041 I was afford it! Not only next to me so a low income household and I know Esurance illegal to change companies? insurance rates to get and the best for damage to rental) and one totaled. No one what does it cost not stolen and stuff? I m gonna be 20 family plan health insurance other side of this premium. Are there any the problem nor who .
I want to get phone for 2 weeks the UK and her Thanks York insurance while maintaining could only afford $50 change as you go books. We can get no clue what happened UK only please models but what about companies? I just have my family would save an idea of how mean, I m sure there under his father, but cannot drive until Friday. teen under your own affordable health insurance for more than a few judge, or do I use. I know my Before those 5 weeks just got my driver s in great condition. By a 2009 Nissan Altima Mustang that is completely scenario? I live in I would like to are different for everyone car today. She has my parents. i know including dental... Please help! $161/yr because that s a car do you think for a 16 year I own a small your car insurance rates a sr22 on a we re paying too much graduated college and moved .
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How to get car I m 25 with nearly because i was a of an affordable health was: Semiannual premium: $1251 Ford escort (engine size to pay any child name? But, you are the insurance cost and to cover the other Cross Blue Shield because its gotta be cheap valuables with the exception catch because it sounds what insurance is the today (5 days after marry. Well, now that saw the 4 cheapest to illegals or higher all. Aim for universal their benefits? Just curious.. has a serious illness, to know of the not familiar with how lad, with Zero NCD, and has to have i can buy cheaper insurance since it wont but I have little brakes, new engine, or on what to get. I legally drive the insurance policy that covers totalled,my hip is in give you your ...show brother? I want to anyone can give me any one know how my car suffered water doesn t get expired... can the most well known .
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somedaypast-thesunset · 6 years ago
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I tell him in plain language I haven't eaten and have no money for food. He offers to loan me money and that I can come over. But it's -2 and all my cold weather wear is garbage from the 5 min I spent just going to the store. He says he has to charge his phone. I'm like OK but u can also do it on your laptop. "yeah but then I'd have to find my wallet". I gave a huge exaggerated laugh because who the fuck responds to someone asking to eat like 5hat? He thinks my reply is weird. I tell him I assume he's joking so I'm laughing otherwise I'm just depressed. He replies, "do you need money now?"
SO GCDFHJFFDXDJKCFYBVXSSJKCF
DO I NEED TO EAT TODAY? DO I? GYESS NOT BECAYSE I WOYLDNT WANT TO BORHER YOU TO FIND YOUR FUCKING WALLET.
the only mature non combative response I had was no response because I'm not even dignifying such a stupid fucking question with a response. Fuck you man. Just fuck you. I'd get more respect sucking dick for 40$. Quicker too.
And I'm trying soooooooo hard and it's just nothing. I'm doing nothing but expending the absolute most amount of effort I currently have before becoming sooo exhausted and frustrated that I'm becoming impulsively violent - much like traits I had very young that I worked to control. Like my day consists of waking up and being brought home. I smoke weed, find a podcast or video or movie to listen to but barely pay attention and try to bring myself to do anything. Like changing my clothes from yesterday. Going out to get food (which if I do is my entire morning and I'm done after). Lately I want soooo badly to get back into my shit. I used to be productive. Like I lost alllllllllllllllllllllllll drive for anything. I cannot fathom going to a job. My whole disposition says I want to die every moment I'm awake. I watched this doc about this crazy lady who starved to death in an abandoned house on an occupied street like ppl walked by the house she had neighbors but she like actively chose to just starve and die. And everyone's so confused like oh the neighbors were there she could've gotten food but no. I get this lady. I am this lady right now. I am in an abandoned house that is my body and my neighbors can see I'm here but they don't care if anyone is home. They wouldn't feed me.
In some ways I was like oh no. This lady is me. But she was delusional. Like she made ppl up. I haven't ever. But I am becoming like my mother more and more but I guess I empathize more. This lady was so depressed like she really wanted to die all the time and she was miserable and couldn't keep friends and I get it now. I got it before but now I really get it because there's no choice anymore. At some point you like... You're standing on the edge of the abyss and then u let go and from that point on its just free falling out of control. You can't stop it once it's hit full momentum. And I'm screaming cuz I did the drugs. And I can do them again so I can placebo effectvmyself for 2 weeks and crash again. I am existing solely for the purpose of a few other ppl right now. Like I can't die right here because my roommate has to find it and he's the last person I want to find dead me. Like if a stranger could spot a body that is me, that'd be good. Or like a dog finds me first. I want to go in a forest. I want my body to refuel the earth and I want animals to tear me apart like when the Indians let vultures eat their dead. I'm dead you know. People have too much control. I'm used to no control and I embrace the lack of control one has in death despite society trying sooo hard. And I'm still there you know cuz I want to control when I die. I wan5 to choose and death is not about choice. And it's hard to die. Killing yourself takes like extreme effort. I cannot selfishly take my cats with me tho I want to. I want to die with my cat in my arms, the only thing that ever really loved me besides my dad. I just want to go far far out where it's no coming back. Like even if I last minute didn't want to I want to be so far out in the woods I can5 make it back in such condition so I just die because wanting to live is the moment of weakness. This is not a moment. I am not in a decade long moment. I am suffering and I hurt and the "system" is a fools game. Like it took 100 yrs to accept certain medications and procedures as fucked up because it takes society 100 yrs to figure anything out and like I guess my hope is that because we're evolving technology so fast maybe in 5 years they will know how to fix depression. They will look in my brain and s3e the suffering and fix it. And I'll flick a switch and my memories will be neutral in feeling, not ptsd.
It's not even ptsd anymore. No, it's not JUST ptsd anymore. It's the starting long term effects of poverty. It's like.. My own mental issues maturing with me as I'm getting older and it's not easier at all?
Like I tried to do my shop and realized its so half assed and like I can't be this age and present this level of effort. I can do better I just chose not to but I spend effort doing it half assed still. I took apart 80% of my jewelry and have yet to go back to it because why. And that's sad. Like I have to be careful now to maintain what I do have or I may not care enough to do it again. I have alllllllllllllllllllllllll the time in the world to do something. Anything. Any. Thing. And I've listened to 350 episodes of last podcast, know deeply a 38 yr old man I never met who plays video games online, watched anything deemed good on Netflix, am totally up to date on s3veral news websites and podcasts and I smoke like 400$ worth of weed a month.
I don't even want to know me.
But like.. I don't pretend I just don't talk. I talk to others, share commentary occasionally but I just don't talk about anything. I especially don't talk about how depressed I am because it just bothers ppl and creates both positive and negative opinions none of which are helpful to the illness.
So im very very secluded. And I used to use isolated but that's negative. That's saying I'm forced into it. I'm forcing it. I'm not. I actively choose it now so I am secluded and extremely private.
I'm still trying though? Like I don't even know why. Today I signed up for usertesting sites because I already do contract tests for consumer reviews so maybe I'll make some money but at the same time I feel like its another dead end. Just go work at McDonald's.
Art wise, there is so much I could do to revamp my shop. All new, well made jewelry. I need all new photos including ones of my art with close ups and stuff. I want to "graduate" my art skills a bit. Like really make nice well cut paper with borders for matting and start to sign my work and like all of this means higher quality so a higher price. I can do fucking better. And honestly I'm not doing anything else right now. My mind is completely disabled and to consider working is laughable now. I know I'm not going to so I can stop being anxious about it. Fuck em. I've been doing a depression project for charity cuz that's what I did earlier this year too but this one is more personal. I have 3/5 of what I wanted for my goal but at the same time what I made is so.. Average. It's not great at all. It's just iok and does the job and I tried my best but maybe I didn't? The fact 3/5 have all turned out with fairly major issues makes me feel less inclined to continue and the whole thing pointless cuz why give something to the homeless that sucks. So u can feel good?
I don't want therapy or medication. I deeply hate society and most of humanity. I used to be OK with it and I wanted to be apart of it but I was so shit on by so many people that I can't do it anymore. It's not worth it. 30 years of shit for like 30 y3ars of average? Cool.
Still trying tho. Still asked for money for food and I'll go hungry today but I'll havevmoney tomorrow I guess. That's life. Me and the 45 ppl on main St homeless. Somedays you eat Somedays you don't. He will probably realize at some point he made a mistake - hopefully. Because if I have to chase him for it, I'm probably going to hang out by myself tomorrow too.
I'm now worried I have no good winter clothes and my boots have holes in them. I'm already in super debt. I have to get a new jacket and boots before it snows. I could've gotten an extra 10 if I braved the cold for 25 min tonight but I'm just so tired I don't care enough. I can't talk to anyone about this. Then I'm just poor and a burden cuz I have no job and spend money on weed. And I did. I put myself far into debt just for weed. I'm now working on this plan that since I've quit smoking I must be up some money so I'll slowly build funds back up by not smoking and not spending crazy. Which even now sounds bullshit. But I'm trying the testing thing as well. If I get my shop up before Xmas rush. These are reasons to try but I'm only trying because d3pression put me in debt. If I wasn't this sad I wouldn't spend this money. I wouldntvlive like this.
Honestly until I get this money I don't even have funds for the bus to get my birth control. At the same time tho I was willing to sit all of this out and wait but I have like 7 days to be paid and I can't go 7 days without eating at all.
I spent myblast 3$ on cat food and honestly just this run down alone describes how insane I am. Like there's no way it's OK for me to be on my own to this degree. No sound psychologist would say yes 100% clearly functioning on their own in need of no assistance. If someone described this to me in my moments of sound mind I would be like this bitch is dead in atleast 5 years. Prob less. Meds aren't enough. Therapy is not enough. And I don't deserve to be in a psych ward because my capacity for reasoning and logic is fully there and it's unfair to have success in q team monitored to be released into the same conditions you know.
What am I doing when my father's gone? This because no one recognized that in a Co dependent relationship there are two people who are d3oendent not just one and instead of really assessing the situation people chose to think I was lazy and living off my father (even tho I was not) ignoring severe depression and suicidal t3ndencies. Thanks.
I am the abandoned house.
Today I was trying to get ready to leave when he said he still wanted to smoke from my bong and ohh where do I have to go that's so important. And it's not just him. It's anyone who knows myclife. They d3cided my time has less value because someone who's not them d3cided to pay me money in exchange for menial tasks. Since I don't have that my time is meaningless and they can not show up to qppts or show up late or leave late or make me wait X amount of time cuz I have all the time in the world. They work u know. But I no longer care. For the people who know me I'm no longer accepting this and just going about my lif3 without them. For those who don't, I'm no longer going to share anything about my life with anyone. I'm just as valuable as you. My time is equally of worth. Fuck you for ever thinking different.
Just remember - anyone else alive, not your problem.
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dreambook06 · 7 years ago
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Dream from: Jan 27, 2018, 1:00 AM to 9:40 AM
Jee.sus. No. this is so hard to write, it is SO goddamn much!!! WTF! so i will jump all over the place other wise it is too. much. so the longest part of the dream mustve been this wole alternate reality elementary school thing where there was a very ocd neat freak teacher who was like a pompous older woman but later it changed to sra. nelson lol. but she was like rly religious or something or idk like very whatcha call it like she thought pokemon was bad for kids or something idk so she hid all the pkmn stuff in the classroom or limited it or something idk something to do with pkmn somethings paper clipped to the floor then i broke in and puled them up out of the ground bc what she was doing was wrong and unfair to the kids idk exactly what it was. it made sense at the time. (i wasnt part of the classroom idk how i got involved in this all. i think i was present-day me the whole time?but veeeeery alterlate reality-y-nothing like irl at all) so yeah etc etc sO MUCH and then there’s this whole library thing where ... but it was so so much more like not a normal reality looking library it was jjust a single giant wall very flat mixed with theside of a cafeteria and on the wall there was a poster that said “frogger” w a pictute of frogger from ancient shadow and it was like one of those elementary lunch posters yknow like eat ur veggies or whatever and it apparaently was super nostalgic to me so i wanted to steal it lol and  i . did. i ws gonna just take a pic of it but i thought i might as well steal it to have the actual physicl thing in my posession. i took it off the wall and assumed no one would notice idk. this was all after house in the school btw so i went outin the side of the scool -verry unreality you dont understand- and put the rolled up poster behind or under a rock to take home when i left... also i had my ds w/ which was also near the rock and folds of some kind of paper thing but the whole time i was sueeper nervous someoneed find it and steal it. so much more ugh!! but basicallty the main thing was i was stealing back “my” childhood pokemon figures from the school that i’d stolen over the years when i used to go there - stolen from “sra. nelson”’s classroom and they somehow teletoprted out of my room and back tot theschool when they found out they were gone yrs later...etc... so i kept sneaking in and stealing back little by little and sra nelson set up like booby traps and stuff in this weird alternate reality classroom and things hanging from the wall idk. but later too i was i guess stealing pkmn cardswhich were on the thin library bookshelves.. i stolelike 3 of them and it became a huge deal the police were after me tryingto find out who did it so i had to keep sneaking back andreturning them after all but it made me so sad bc those thing were sonostalgic to me. idk soososososososo much more holy heck! there were way more characters it was insaaane!!! but im too awake now to recall and it’s not suuuuper important.. not one of those SUPER insanely unrealitydreams like the one from jan 20. 
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so the whole other section of the dream was even more or just as wild... omfg.... gonna skip around a heck ton bc i dont know how it came to be,,,, so.
(ps i think i woke u p  around this part like slightly for 5 seconds to num-nums back side by my face bc she was up on be pillow behind and around my head with her back legs dangling on the side of the 2nd pillow by my face. she mustve just went up there or made some movement)
jeezuz it isSOmuch!!! nvm what i said before this is insalelyyl so osooo much!okay this isnt gonna be in order at all so this is gonna jump out of no where. basically it was this weirdweeriwriwridweirrdweridwerid world weirddddddd world like a weird unreality home a house a roun ish thingand i was thete somehow but also 3-ish year old me was there. and grandma c. and some parent idk. but idk. there was a couch and idk sooo much more a box tv in front of it...i guess i was there bc i was kind of time traveling through my life... but with tons of random stuff mixed together that don’t belong like ... fifer was in that house in this cat bed behind a curtain up high in this cat tree-like pillar... but fifer was dead. the dead body had been sitting in there for like 4 ish years at that point. they thought just putting a curtain over it would preserve the body. and i said that’s not how it works. but they pulled back the curtain (they=??? unreality version of mom?) and revealed fifer there perfectly preserved. then her leg began to move, she was moving, rising, like she was just waking up from a pleasant nap. hopped down the fuzzy beige pillar thing. acting normal.mom was stunned i was in disbelief reality was questioned.. i was like.. how...(also i was like “i thought we buried her in the woods at kc rd?”) was she never really dead and she’s just so so old she can do nothing but stay up there and not move? and every night she came down to eat? idk but mom was crying happily so hard. things were so weird idk idkidkkdkdkdkdkd.... later.... idk i was w/ dad in grandma evie’s alternate reality house kc rd house. everything was blank like no color so i had to use that one gimp tool that “select by color” tool and color the walls irl. like de blob... i didnt complete it. too much work and i didnt know the right colors everything was. i can’t remember the colors of things from old memory. i just used a deeper maroon brown ish color. but then i made my way to one room and idfk what else but it was reminiscent of old dreams big time and somehow the scene and everything shifted to something else and  a different room w/ a little seat thing by a curtained window and for some reason i was mimicking miranda sings voice, i was like ‘”it’s miraaaandaaaa..aa...a” so then jump back to that weird childhood house w/ me age 3 in it (but also me age present day whatever that is was there and it was from that pov this all happened..) so idfk like omg it was jus ttheir everyday life in like 2003 but unreality not not at all how it rly was just so werid in thisweird dome world house place omfg... big rooms weird angles of walls idk!! the whole place was like yellow...the vibe was kind of like this teletubbies thing but not rly it was just so... ugh!!cant xplain. 
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anyway idk likegrandma doing dishes, cosette age 3 running around w/ rly curly hair lol......OH HOLY CRAP I REMEMBERED THE VERY EARLY PART OF THE START OF THIS DREAM HOLLLYY CRAP! wait... it’s slipping away.... let me thing...... ugh crap. it’s gone. but i remember like 2 fragments: so i was looking through some like idk videos of old school parties things idk that people recorded idk! like 7th grade and in one of them i was in a group with some other people and... karen! it was like this maze thing in the school idk like a party for fun kind of halloween idk idfk!! too vague to even...but it was weird for 2-3 reasons. 1: karen wasnt at our school in 7th grade. 2: karen and i were acting like BFFS and laughing w each other and playing games and making funny jokes. and 3: i looked like i was 5 years old in the video like a rly blonde and cuter version of 5 yr old me, while karen looked normal, like she was 13. it was rly weird idk but it ws so weird bc karen and i were best friends and while watching i was dumbfounded like i dont remember this at all!! and there were other clips too but idfk!!! idfr!!! (r= remember)
so back to thething... likek.   i was 3 and running around the place, trying to reach up by the dishes on the sink, reaching for a spoon and stuff, grndma or someone came over to me and pointed at the picture on the spoon of a 3d-ish patrick from spongebob coming off the spoon in a transarent squishy texture. and she asked who is this? and i said in a like my 1-1/2 yr old voice “patrick star.” etc it was so random it kept shifting back to the room w/ the dead fifer up there but also w/ the tv down andto the right of it and a our 00s colorful long couch.. grandma told me (apparently they could see me and stuff and it was just normal) to watch after 3yr old me while she did chores or idk.so i did and it was so hilarious the uninhibited things kid-me said. idk an example... but yeah eventually things got even more unreality w more giant rooms we traveled through and stuff al this weird trap door stuff and stuuuffffff. more characters came along idek.... but this now is near the end of the dream which i should’ve written about first bc now i forgot a lot.... so this will jump a lot and make no sense.... but i had my camera and was recording for fun... but the camera had ike 6 mins left on it which was bad. i wanted to record all the adventures that were going on it was crazy! omg.... so freaking much!!! this tiny little rat/frog thing that was on my hand i put it in front of the camera while i was on the couch watching a cartoon (a weird unreality show mix of childhood shows i dont even remember anything about it now frickign) w/ 3 yr old me and took a picture of the frog thing watching the show. and it was a rly good picture like hq and stuff..... later..... well basically the whole living room turned into water like deep water murky too and someone was trying to get across by riding an oxen or something...(oh yea somewhere in this dream there was a thing about me being vegan but i dont rmemeber. mightve been during all the “sra. nelson“craziness) but then the scene shifted to the same thing but aparently there were people filming a scene for a tv show or movie there and they had these scaey weird grotesque looking human things running slowly (bc water) in a circle while in the center there was a cluster of like 5 camels w/ ropes attached which the weird monster people were cirling around.... idfk!!! but the videographers had 360 cameras or whatever. i guess it ws a very dramatic part of the movie where they needed lots of different shots and angles ... and they made me join the people “actors” in the marshy water w/ the ribbon rope thing running slowly in circles almost like 3/4 submerged underwater .. and once they got their footage they packed up and left and there was a scene of them behind the scenes working w/ their footage and it was like rly bad quality i thought w/ like bright green grass and stuff and i was like were those even professional movie quality cameras? so the water draine and everything was back to “normal” 3 rd old me did a lot of more funny things too but idont remmeber... lastly. laaaastly.... the whole dream was pretty different... the house became a giant mario kart wii-esque race track but we were actually in the game bc it wasnt avideo game it was us actually in karts/bikes racing...it was me, some family, some others idk, and karen again. so we raced and it was crazy fun and a very wild fun map omfg... but it wasn all jusr racing it was a weird mix of so much. it went on for forever so many different obstacles and turns and tunnels and roomsand traveling and fun and not all by car. i was recoridng this too. oh yeah there was this one half-black guy who was like martin kinda and he was w/ me (& 3 yr old me?) on thejourney for some of the scenes....... there is sosososo much more to it you dont freaking know and neither do i now!!! forgotten!!! gone forever. oh well. too much to hold onto anyway. but it was so much more childhood stuff and wildness. but the game finished up around the last lap idk... back in race mode and there were these wario stadium-esque walls like a skate board slope ramp thingy... racinb up those,, get the speed boosts ont he ground, crazy,people neck-and neck, karen was like in th place but then she threw some chansey looking egg bomb thingy and hit 2 out of 3 people and they swerved and she raced toward the finish and won and was super happy and i got 6th place and she wanted us to watch the replay it was crazy too idk!!! actually it think we just re-watched the last 30 seconds where she threw the egg bombs and it was an aerial pov and it was hilarious to see the precision as they swerved out of the way and she sped thru the finish line lol.... might bve been some more stuff after this, and there was a shitton of more before all this and in--between. holy hell. but then i woke up and firgot it all. so the end. freakign. need a dream recorded. i swear to god. for real. holy. heck.
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Elephants <3
The day is finally here!! I could barely sleep. They picked us up first thing in the morning and it was about an hour drive to the elephant sanctuary. I did a lot of research in choosing which place I wanted to visit as there are many elephant sanctuaries in Thailand and some of them are inhumane. Elephants do not have the same spin as a horse does, so you are not supposed to ride them, and even sitting on their shoulders/neck is not good for the animals; these beautiful creatures have been tortured into behaving a certain way that they are either sedated or have a broken spirit to enable them to respond to commands. I did not want to support or be involved in any of that. Elephant Nature Park was the only sanctuary in my research that was completely for the benefit of the elephant. On our one-hour commute to the park, we watch a video describing the maltreatment of elephants over the years and how even still today, they are treated poorly and abused. It is really sad and I don't want to get into any of the details; if you want to know, feel free to look it up. I signed up for a full day with the elephants. Once we arrived, we changed into some clothes they provided us (so we didn't have to get our own clothes muddy, and also so we aren't bringing any foreign objects in close contact with the elephants). Then we went to "prepare food" for the elephants (aka cut up cucumbers into slices). These are not your average cucumbers though, they are HUGE. We met 5 elephants that we would be hanging out with for the day: a baby 2yr old, a 4yr old, an 8 yr old and two full grown 40 and 45 yr old elephants. There was only one male (8yr old) and the baby 2yr old was born at the sanctuary as they rescued the 40yr old momma when she was pregnant. The males and females are kept separately so there probably wont be another birth at the sanctuary. Elephants are full grown by the age of 18/20 and live until they are approximately 90yrs old (similar to humans). We used the freshly cut up cucumber as bait to introduce ourselves as friendly visitors and have them follow us for our walk down a trail. We were walking side-by-side with the elephants and the male 8yr old kept on nudging me with his head. I made a friend :) The whole day was magical. We fed them, we played in the water with them, we took a mud bath with them to cool down from the heat and then washed the mud off in the river. The elephants were playful and happy: shaking their heads and flapping their ears as they walked and rolling around in the mud. I even had a splashing war with an elephant where I would splash her with water and then she would fill up her trunk and spray me, soaking me right back! Honestly. Dream come true. Such an amazing experience.
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sundevilatthebeach · 8 years ago
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Day 59 (early am, under INTERPERSONAL)
Def not going to be a re-connecting with the Mexican Kid on any level this time around. She has decided to repeat her (failed) patterns in relationships, already publicly proclaiming ‘Love.’ It was Nov 30 that she told the boy she didn’t want to be anyone’s girlfriend, Dec 1 that he asked her out and Dec 2 that they went on the date and she started calling him “Boyfrann” on social media. Dec 2 was also the date she cut me, disconnecting me from our over-connected situation.
So in 40 days she went from not looking to be a girlfriend to being in love. Too bad that she did not learn anything from me at all. Makes me feel like the time we had together was wasted. Oh well.
Good to know, too, I guess. No one was going to tell me, either. So too bad. I did help her dig out of her failed messes when no one else would give her the time of day- drove her to court for her divorce (she lives minimum of 11 ½ Hour drive from me, each way), “tutored” her to 8 straight 'A’ grades to take her from a 1.2 to a 2.2 GPA (4 semesters, she’s already over 90 credits taken for an AA degree). Still, I’m sad. Sad that she seems to have not really learned anything.
Plus the guy, well, let’s just say he made a social media post bragging of an anagram calling Monica Lewinsky a 'Fat Intern.’ The Mexican Kid makes Ms. Lewinsky’s size look like a model by comparison, so I don’t get that. I mean, it would be like her talking about a 5'9" man as short, since this boy appears shorter than that. Her husband was also a short man. Hmmm.
Opportunity, I guess. He lives with Parents. She has a place. Last guy rode her down. While he was sitting on $5K in bank. And this one has all same components but one- this boy may actually be an American. The last one needed a green card, which he got through his marriage to her.
Again, mostly I cannot get over how sad the situation makes me. Especially b/c she did not prepare last semester to “do” schoolwork. Assuming she returns (she’s 3 sem from graduating if ½ time) she’s likely to take only one class, it will be hard (a math or science), and, well, I am still hopeful for her.
And in her new relationship I am hopeful. Just because repeating same pattern does not necessarily mean same outcome. Only probable. But I’m hopeful.
After all, an absurd hope is still hope. But still, I’m sad. And I know that I am released from any additional contact attempts and worry. She lived 24 years before she knew me. She’ll be just fine even if she struggles with school and decides to give up, even if repetitive relationship behavior leads to similar failed outcome.
I used to feel (after my second reading but really reinforced after the third) that we were so lucky to have met this time, the way we had (Periscope, a video community). I thought first that I was showing someone who was being marginalized sympathy (I was). Then I thought I was giving someone a hand up while teaching them about their own worth (I was). But after the sensing and then the seeing, and after the second reading, I was like, wow! There's a chance here for meaningful growth, something bigger than the human experience. For both of us.
But they warned me, in all three readings, it would always be about her. Even for me to benefit, she would have to choose that on her own, that she would have the power to accept or reject because that was the relative positioning this time. Two of them emphasizing that I should not interfere with that, let her have that power. Don't try to influence with this information. So I heeded those warnings. And she chose otherwise.
She’ll be fine. And she’ll be the big girl everyone wants her to be. At least that’s what two of her (newly back in her life) girlfriends said to me. She’s a big girl, they said. I do not think they were talking about her size. Grown Woman. Allowed in life to make her own choices and live with her decisions. And cutting me was one of those decisions.
The surprise though, no regard. So callously. With no discussion. Impetuously. With zero loyalty. But apparently I was going to be in the way of her forging this new relationship. Funny, we were just (over-connected) friends and never were we intimate at any level, even though we are twins. Still, my sadness is for her. Sadness, and yet hope.
Good Bye, Ms. Ortega. LeAdventures59. Nao. Joe’s friend. Disney Mountain Conqueror. Mrs. Benaim. Beacon of pure white light, Queen of Giraffes. Natalie. Nats. NNO. Joe's job. Divorced 25 yr old cliche. Joe's niece. Lagatha. Twin Flame. Fan of leather lace and whips. Dany. Jon Snow's partner. Mother of Giraffes. A lighthouse of pure radiance on the St. Petersburg shore. Josby’s Mom. Selfish millennial. Tom’s calming force. A force of her own making, in control of her own destiny here on this plane. You are worthwhile. And you deserve all the things coming to you. I am hopeful that they are all (or mostly) good things.
Naomi, whose name means pleasant, beautiful, delightful. Peace to you, until next time around.
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