#do you have to spend an entire page internally monologuing about what Heat is. do you do this every month???

[whilomm]

one turnoff i have is porn with Premises that feel the need to continually explain their premise, explicitly, and have The Premise be all the characters think/talk about. like okay i get WHY you're doing this but i can extrapolate whats going on with this tentacle without a character spending most of their internal monologue going what...i cant believe its laying eggs... BITCH YOU ALREADY SAID THAT FIVE TIMES HOW ARE YOU STILL SURPRISED. DO THE TENTACLES ALSO GIVE YOU AMNESIA?

[mermaidsirennikita]

'can't handle how my dick feels about this woman' PLEASE NOW YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME RECS ABOUT THIS!!!! 🤭

For sure!

Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas--An iconic example. Derek can't stand to be around Sara because he's always doing weird shit like stealing her glasses (to keep) and taking her bonnet off because he likes her hair. But he's also TOO DANGEROUS FOR HER. Unfortunately she's extremely horny and prone to chasing him around. This is the book where he famously says she leaves him like a "drawn dog" (aka a dog that was pulled off the other dog without finishing lmao). PEAK ROMANCE.

Accidentally Compromising the Duke by Stacy Reid--Just finished this today! The hero is a widower who just wants a stepmother for his daughters. His first wife died in childbirth and he's determined to not have sex with the heroine after they have a marriage of convenience. I knew the game was on when she was talking to him and standing too close and he looked at her mouth and went "fuck" and then walked away to press his head against the door.

Heartbreak by Sarah MacLean (out 8/23)--Clayborn is so intensely besotted with Adelaide and just can't handle it. I think one of my favorite scenes in the book is when they have to have a normal conversation in the company of another woman and his internal monologue is just like "JESUS CHRIST".

The Return of the Duke by Lorraine Heath--The hero is so fucking pissed because the heroine was his dead father's mistress. And from the first page it's just like. Boner city lmao. He's so obsessed with her and incredibly fucked up about it.

I'm Only Wicked with You by Julie Anne Long--American hero, English heroine, enemies to lovers situation. The hero and heroine spar but then basically spend entire scenes verbally trying to turn each other on in the presence of company while being slick about it. At one point I think she mentions that "naked" is a word she shouldn't say and everyone else is uncomfortably laughing while he tries to not come in his pants.

It Happened One Autumn by Lisa Kleypas--Another enemies to lovers classic. The hero is uptight and stodgy and says you only need to fuck once a week to be satisfied. The heroine is this free spirited, stubborn American heiress who completely challenges that notion by making him want to maul her at any moment.

After Dark with the Duke by Julie Anne Long--Hero is an uptight duke in his forties, the heroine is a scandalous opera singer in her twenties. He's teaching her Italian and there's a delightful moment where she writes an Italian phrase down on a sheet of paper and is like "all the stage hands keep saying this shit to me and idk what it means" and he like has a coughing fit and loses his shit because it translates to "I want to fuck you".

Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas--Hero is in love with his childhood friend (who loves him back) but feels unworthy of her and dangerous to her health. She doggedly pursues him while he's like "PLEASE SPARE ME" the entire time.

Dearest Rogue by Elizabeth Hoyt--The hero is the heroine's bodyguard. She's a good bit younger than him and blind, and he's incredibly attracted to her but trying to hold back until they have to hit the road together. At one point he like. Loses his shit and dry humps her to completion lmao. It's an awkward carriage ride the next day.

Duke of Midnight by Elizabeth Hoyt--Maximus is like a cat in heat around Artemis and he hates it and I love it and she loves it too. He can't handle his dick, your honor.

The Highwayman by Kerrigan Byrne--The plot of the book lmao. The hero is traumatized and touch averse but he wants to touch the heroine alllll over and has a voyeurism thing.

The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn--Because... obvi.

The Rogue of Fifth Avenue by Joanna Shupe--The hero is a a lawyer employed by the heroine's father, and he's desperately trying to keep his job and also not get murdered by the man. But God, he wants to fuck her.

A Rogue by Any Other Name by Sarah MacLean--He wants to fuck her; and yet his revenge!!!