#do you have an advisor? anon email your advisor and ask for help figuring out your remaining requirements

[valence-positive]

I'm aiming to give advice from any starting point, sorry if that makes this too much in it's specificity, but finding out when you can graduate is a solvable problem:

If you don't know when you're set to graduate, your degree requirements are your best friend! You want to google "[Your college] + [your department] + degree requirements"

The page you want will have some text like, (by googling Boston College Chemistry degree requirements) "Ten 1-semester courses are required for the Major in Chemistry plus five co-requisites from other departments." and then a table of courses, usually with some x course OR y course thrown in there. Here's BC's chemistry page for reference: https://www.bc.edu/bc-web/schools/morrissey/departments/chemistry/academics/undergraduate/major.html

Now that you've got the list of courses you need to graduate, you need the list of courses you've taken. If you don't have a copy of your transcript on hand, your school's management system (or, in a pinch, an email to your school's registrar's office with the text "Hi, I'm having some trouble finding my unofficial transcript. Would it be possible for you to send me a copy or provide instructions for downloading it? Best, [Y/N]") that lets you register for classes will also likely contain a link to request your <em>unofficial</em> transcript. You don't have to pay for an official transcript and wait for it to arrive in the mail. The unofficial transcript will be a neat pdf with a list of the classes you've taken, your grades, and the associated credits broken down by semester.

With both your department's degree requirements in hand, and the classes you've taken, start checking those bad boys off. I tracked my courses vs my requirements in an excel spreadsheet all through college. If your aim is to get done as quick as possible and get on towards your rad post-grad plans, you're going to want to only take classes that check off a new box on your degree requirements. Even if you've switched majors a couple times, most majors will be between 8-14 courses (from my experience), and you've already made some progress. Not everything will be offered every semester, but departments will offer required courses at least one semester a year (Fall or Spring), sometimes even in a Summer semester. If you're not sure when courses are offered, you want to search your course registration system for them (including past semesters if available to determine a pattern) - or, pull up your department's "People" page and look for "Staff/Admin", if your department has an Undergraduate Assistant they are your best friend and can answer your questions. If your department does not have an Undergraduate Assistant, emailing the Department Chair is a good next bet. Their goal is help you have the things you need.

Other notes:

Your college may have distribution requirements (eg. you're a chemistry major but they want you to take at least 1 history class, and vice-versa). These may be called: "core", "distribution", "breadth" or "liberal arts" requirements. Here's an example from Boston College: https://www.bc.edu/bc-web/schools/morrissey/undergraduate/core-curriculum/core-requirements.html

Your transcript will likely note which courses you have taken fill which requirements! These are much more open requirements, and easy to fill in any given semester because <em>many</em> courses are offered that meet one or two of these requirements at once. Eg, at my college for both my art AND a history credit I took a course about Meso-american Art and Culture. It was really fun and not too hard, because the professor knew most students were taking it for the distribution requirement. With 5 years under your belt, you may have already checked many of these off. Sometimes AP and IB credits can also cover these requirements if you came in to college with any of those.

Now that you know what requirements you've filled, and what requirements you still need to take, you can confidently plan to complete your schooling at any pace - weather that's 4 or 5 classes a semester, a part time load, or finishing out your degree one course at a time. With planning and a spreadsheet, all things are possible. Go fight win!

Hope this was helpful, rooting for you anon.

Also also: In your last semester, while you're in classes finishing your final requirements, you will then to apply to graduate (eg. fill out a form confirming you took all your requirements) - departments send this kinda stuff out by email mid-way through the semester usually, but it can always also be accessed by emailing your department chair and inquiring politely about where to find it if it's not on your department's website.

I'm currently feeling horrible about the fact that I haven't graduated from college yet. I've been here for 5 years (partially part time) and I have no clue when I'm set to graduate. I feel like I'm taking too long and its going to be way too much debt for me since I have no financial aid. I have plans for when I graduate but it feels like there is no end in sight. I went part time because of my mental health but staying longer is making it worse.

Who told you you're taking too long??? Who would put such a toxic idea in our baby's head? Shame on them! You're doing amazing, sweetie!

There is nothing wrong with going at your own pace. If that means taking a leave of absence for your mental health, or taking 1 class per semester for the next decade, or quitting work temporarily and being a full time student... it's all valid!

Guilt is not serving you, my sweet. Banish it from your pretty little head and do what you need to do to be well, mentally, financially, and physically. Here's more advice:

How To Pay for College Without Selling Your Soul to the Devil 

Did we just help you out? Join our Patreon!

[itsclydebitches]

Any tips for new grad students? I'm about to start in the fall and I'm curious how it'll be different/hopefully better than undergrad!

Congratulations, anon!!!

Let's see... some alphabetical tips based on my own experience:

Ask for help. You'll likely have a million questions and, unfortunately, the designated people who can answer them are often crazy busy and may take a while to get back to you, or forget entirely. So don't be afraid to ask for help from whoever might even feasibly know the answer -- including tumblr blogs! You're off to a great start lol

Be on the lookout for advisors early. Whether you're just in need of a singular advisory for a thesis, or if you'll be putting a whole committee together, approach every new instructor with the question, "Would I want them to mentor me through my research?" in the back of your mind. Pay attention to not just their specialties and teaching methods, but who they are as a person. Do you like them? Are you comfortable with them? Do they treat you respectfully? Do they seem to have everything well in hand? I loved my advisor dearly as a person, but he was often waaaaaay behind on his work. Looking back, I would have at least considered choosing someone with better organization/time management skills.

Get good at writing emails. Can you write a succinct, professional sounding email? Great! Get comfortable doing that throughout the whole day. Feeling a little iffy? Practice over the summer. There are a lot of templates online that can help, but you'll want to ensure you're not going into grad school still writing "k thx" from your iPhone at 3:00am. (For the record, your professors may do this, the students should not lol).

Have designated, scheduled downtime. Literally if you don't plan to take a break... you won't be taking a break. Not until your body decides to take one for you, anyway. Friday nights were always my couch potato time. Absolutely no work allowed and no strenuous activity unless it was something I was legitimately excited about (so no getting pressured into outings I didn't actually want to attend). Friday nights were sacred, a time for takeout and only whatever else I felt like doing, usually TV, video games, and vegging out with my cat.

Imposter Syndrome is a BITCH. Luckily, pretty much everyone's got it to a greater or lesser extent, we all just need to acknowledge it more. You know those boards some schools have celebrating places where students have gotten in and other achievements? Yeah, we put one up for failures in our department. Literally a giant, glittery, "CONGRATS YOU DIDN'T GET IT!" board where we hung proposal rejections, grant rejections, school rejections, scholarship rejections, job rejections, and on one memorable occasion a date rejection. I highly recommend it. Nothing lessens the sting quite as much as seeing that you're a part of a sea of similar disappointments and remembering that you're all in the same, often luck-based boat.

Pick a non-academic hobby. Your mental health will thank you, trust me. Like the designated downtime, you need to be doing something that's not reading/writing/researching 24/7. Pick a hobby that in no way relates to academics or your chosen field, preferably something hands-on and creative. Grad school is when I picked up crocheting alongside knitting.

Prepare to hold down two jobs. This really only applies if you're going to be teaching while you get your degree (or if you have an outside job for the paycheck), but I was pretty blindsided by what it took to be a full-time student and a half-time instructor. I don't really have good advice beyond "Figure out your time management skills now" and "Don't pour all your energy into one or the other because the one you've neglected WILL come back to bite you in the ass," but even just being aware of how difficult it is going to be would have staved off the initial shock.

Read strategically. Perhaps this is different for someone not in the Humanities, but you will be reading a LOT in grad school. Like, an absolutely stupid amount. There simply will not be time to cover everything from title to footnotes (I know, it hurts), so get comfortable with reading abstracts, chapter summaries, skimming, and otherwise summarizing lengthy works to figure out what you should prioritize. Unless a whole article is assigned for class, figure out what you need from any given text -- or what you think you may need -- and hone in on that. You can always return to read more if you have the time.

SAVE EVERYTHING. Do not delete emails. Get copies of everything even remotely official. Print everything out. Buy yourself a couple of cheap file boxes, stick them under your bed, and keep it all just in case. What kind of things have I unexpectedly needed to dredge up weeks, months, or even years later? The printed paper with hand-written comments to justify a grade I gave. An ancient email from a committee member proving that they did in fact sign off on a certain chapter choice. A copy of the publication forms I signed for a book collection after those got lost on their end (somehow). Seriously, save everything. You'll never know when you may need proof of some communication you've had.

Take naps. That's it. That's the advice. Someone gives you shit for being "lazy" or tries to make you feel bad for "wasting" a sunny afternoon? Make them step on a Lego and then both of you take your nap outside. Naps are beautiful and sacred and life-saving. Just set a good alarm for whenever your next class/meeting is.

Work at making friends. Unlike high school or even college where you'll be spending the day with a core group of people, in graduate school (unless your school is really small) the students are a lot more spread out and there aren't as many built-in opportunities to socialize. So plan to put in more effort at connecting with others because you will want that camaraderie, both for practical help and your sanity. I didn't realize how much more I needed to do to get to know my peers until I was nearly finished my Master's. Luckily, my PhD threw me into an office with seven other grads, so I didn't have a choice about getting to know them lol

You're responsible for your own learning. You've gotten a taste of this in college, but grad school cranks it up to 11. You're an adult (not an "adult" adult like a college student) and you've committed to putting forth 2-7 additional years towards your education. The expectation is that you want to be here and will showcase the necessary effort without outside influence (unless you require accommodations, of course). Be prepared for your instructors to treat you like a peer, both when it comes to the fun stuff - intense debates about your field! - and the responsibilities they expect you to follow through on. In some ways grad school is nothing like college because you are now focused on one subject, you are working collaboratively with people who were once solely authority figures, and 95% of the work will occur outside the classroom via self-teaching. You're a professional now. Still being mentored, but well on your way to that equal standing. The sooner you realize that you are responsible for your own education and future career -- not your teachers, your parents, your BFF, your roommate, etc. -- the better.

Most importantly:

[supercantaloupe]

hi i'm back (verdi anon). thank you sososo much. re specifics if this helps at all: it's actually a review of a performance but we have to do background research on the composer. also i'm nervous as fuck to ask anyone about anything because i have an ambiguous extension and i really don't want to push my luck with it.

i think a general overview biography from like an anthology/textbook chapter or a music encyclopedia/dictionary entry will be most useful to you then; an entire in depth novel length biography on verdi's entire career would certainly be interesting, but probably a bit too much for this. see what your library has in terms of musical dictionaries (like new grove/oxford music online!), or look for anthologies or textbooks on music or opera in the 19th century/romantic era. verdi was a huge figure in 19th century music and opera so a book surveying those topics is practically guaranteed to discuss him and some of his career. maybe check to see if your library has "the cambridge companion to verdi" (book) or something similar (maybe skim it if you find one, though, they can be a little dense sometimes). tertiary sources like these can vary in their content and the audience they're aimed at, but i find the cambridge companion series pretty approachable. for now, avoid "research guides" that are just novel-length bibliographies, they aren't going to be helpful to you for this.

and i totally get being nervous to reach out for help, i've been there myself. but i do want to stress that your professors and librarians are there to help you, it's literally their job! for help in generally finding resources, talk to or email a librarian. they know what resources you have available and how to find them, and they're not gonna, like, tattle on you to your professor or advisor or something for asking for help, i promise. and if you're confused about or stuck on something related to class content or an assignment, email your professor or talk to them during office hours (professors really like it when you visit them in office hours! it shows interest and dedication). i mean, if it's your freshman year in college, then it's 100% understandable and even expected for all this stuff to be new and confusing; you'll figure it out over time, with experience and help from your faculty. it's not about being right or perfect yet (if it ever is).

[whentherewerebicycles]

hello! i have really enjoyed reading your thoughts on teaching processes and working relationships in academia, which i feel like have helped me a lot in shaping ways i think about approaching teaching / thinking about what makes a “successful” class! i’m sure you’ve very busy with midterms right now, but i was wondering — do you have any advice on how to sustain relationships with mentor figures? (i read a while ago that a student you’d worked with had asked to meet up with you every so often for an informal mentoring thing, and that sounded soo nice but i just can’t figure out how to initiate something like that or whether it’d be well-received at all.)

for context, there’s an lecturer who i worked pretty closely with for the last 2 years but i’ve since stopped doing stuff in a capacity that makes her my actual advisor, so we don’t talk regularly anymore. this semester i’ve seen her a few times and we’re definitely still friendly, but i’d like to just, talk to her more because i like her a lot and reall look up to her, and i don’t want to graduate without ever talking to her properly again. but i also think she’s very busy and want to make sure i’m respecting her time, so i’m not sure what to do, especially because i don’t have a specific, like, Thing I’m Doing that i need help with, i just more wanna hang out and vibe together, so if you have any advice for how to achieve this i would be extremely thankful !

for context, there’s an lecturer who i worked pretty closely with for the last 2 years but i’ve since stopped doing stuff in a capacity that makes her my actual advisor, so we don’t talk regularly anymore. this semester i’ve seen her a few times and we’re definitely still friendly, but i’d like to just, talk to her more because i like her a lot and reall look up to her, and i don’t want to graduate without ever talking to her properly again. but i also think she’s very busy and want to make sure i’m respecting her time, so i’m not sure what to do, especially because i don’t have a specific, like, Thing I’m Doing that i need help with, i just more wanna hang out and vibe together, so if you have any advice for how to achieve this i would be extremely thankful !

thank you and have a nice day!!

mentor anon thank you for your patience, and also thank you for nudging me again!! (if anyone is ever waiting for a long time on a response, please do feel free to nudge me, as i have usually just gotten scattered and forgotten about it.) this sounds like a wonderful advising relationship and i am so glad you had it!! and i think it is so cool that you want to continue spending time with this prof and learning from her. here's what i would suggest based on what you've told me.

first, people love to feel appreciated and valued. teachers especially love to hear that they have had a positive impact on a student's experience, and that they have had some role in positively shaping a student's interests or nurturing a student's love of their subject. you cannot go wrong by just telling your former prof this, perhaps in the email you send to her asking if she has time to meet sometime. if possible, specific, earnest praise is better than general "I like you so much" praise (even if our general feelings are just an amorphous I LIKE YOU SO MUCH, YOU ARE SO COOL, I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU). so if you can explain to her, like, "you helped spark a passion about this, and here's how i've continued to pursue it," or "i really admire/respect the way you do XYZ professional thing, and i've been trying to emulate that in this new context, or i really want to try this when i'm teaching in the future" (or whatever), that can help her understand that you see her as a special mentor figure in your life, someone who was not just "a good teacher" or a good advisor in general, but someone who was formative for you and whose insights/perspective you value.

second, people are busy, and you DO want to respect their time, but i also think students should know that mentoring or working closely with a student we like and getting to see them grow/mature/become more confident in their abilities and passions is probably the single most rewarding part of our jobs. you want to be respectful of people's time, but also, don't be too quick to assume that you are only a drag on someone's time, or that you are "taking up" their valuable time and energy, or that you are a drain on their energy and are giving nothing back to them. i have a handful of students i still keep in regular touch with after they've graduated, and every time i get to talk to them i look forward to it, am energized by the conversation, and leave feeling happier and more purposeful in my work. so there's a real possibility that she will also really genuinely enjoy getting to spend time with you.

third, the best way to avoid 'disrespecting' people's time is to clearly communicate what you are seeking from them, to ask clearly if that's something they are able or willing to give, and to make it clear that it's ok if they have an alternate suggestion or if they don't have the capacity right now. i know you want to just chill with her, and i think that is actually fine (you don't need to be getting her feedback on an essay every time, or whatever, and probably you will both have a better time if that's not the case), but i think i would think about what you ideally want from this mentoring relationship and present it to her with clear parameters.

for instance, you could say (either in writing or in conversation with her), "you were really important to me in [insert specific ways]. i know we don't have a formal advising relationship right now, but i would really love to stay in contact with you and to discuss with you the things i'm thinking about and working on. [bonus points if you are also interested in some aspect of her work, as a teacher or a researcher, and want to hear more about the projects she's working on.] would you have be open to meeting a couple times a semester [or whatever frequency you are envisioning] to catch up and talk about our work [or about grad school/professional plans, or teaching, or whatever else you might want to discuss with her]? having you as my advisor was really formative for me, and i know i'll regret it if i let this year go by and graduate without getting to talk with you again. i know you have a lot on your plate / a busy schedule / other commitments too, so i totally understand if you don't have the time/energy, or if you can only meet [with less frequency, or at a diff time, or whatever], or if you want to suggest a different option."

if a student came to me and said that (or shared it with me in an email), it would allow me to think about my other responsibilities and commitments, as well as what an ideal mentoring relationship might look like with this particular student. it would make me much less worried than the student who just wants to "drop by" and "hang out" at irregular intervals, for indeterminate amounts of time. that kind of casual interaction can also be a real joy!!! but sometimes i DO have other stuff i need to be working on, and sometimes what looks like "open time" to a student is actually "time i had set aside for grading" or whatever, and if i've got one eye on the clock, trying not to be rude but also thinking about how i have to upload those grades by 5pm, it makes the quality of time we spend together much less enjoyable for both of us. my most stressful "students keeping in touch with me after the class ends" situations have been those kind of unpredictable, irregular drop-in type things, whereas my most rewarding, genuinely energizing post-class mentoring relationships with students have been ones where it's like "we meet on the first wednesday of every month, and we walk over to get coffee and talk about what they're finding exciting about their senior thesis," or "we meet every two weeks on zoom, for a quick chat to talk about the things we've been reading, and sometimes i offer feedback on a job letter or an article draft we've arranged to read together in advance."

that is my advice!! i hope it is helpful to you, and thanks for your patience with my slowness to respond!!

[heck-yeck-deck-tech]

Hey there! Thanks for your recent response to an ask on how to challenge a director who's endangering a show as a SM. I'm in a similar but slightly different scenario. I'm working on a show, and our director is really... incompetent. Our SM isn't doing the things she's supposed to be doing and also constantly trying to get the director to give her even more power. I'm the props master, and there's nothing I feel I can do, but I want to save this show and my friends in it. What can I do?

Hello, dear anon -

I do apologize that this response is so untimely. Your ask caught me just as my show was going into tech, and since opening weekend I’ve been preoccupied with catching up on all the schoolwork I set aside to do the show. We’ve only got a pick-up rehearsal tonight, though, so I’ve finally had time to put together all the scattered paragraphs I’ve been jotting down as I’ve been having thoughts about your situation.

I realize, that, as a professional (and here, I mean your conduct, not whatever level of theater you might be working in) you have to be vague. Understandably, our work in theatre means that there isn’t really a good way to go into specifics about our concerns about our coworkers and colleagues. That’s just the nature of conversation, when you’re a technician and talking about what we do. 

Anyways. I digress.

If your concern with the director’s competency is that they don’t seem to know what they want, and you don’t have enough information to do your job well, remember that it’s not out of place for you to make requests for specificity about how props are used. On shows I’ve worked on, I’ve seen the props master do this via emails to the stage manager (SM) in response to a rehearsal or performance report, but it’s not uncommon to have these chats in person if you both happen to be there.

I assume that the things you’re noticing that your SM isn’t doing are ones specifically pertaining to your job. I would recommend having a conversation about it - theatre is inherently stressful, and it takes folks a goodly amount of time to figure out how they best handle that stress. And if one of your concerns with the SM is that they’re not the best at responding to internet communication, bear in mind that it’s a lot harder for people to ignore another human being saying, “Hey, I have some questions about the props notes from the rehearsal report last week - do you have a few minutes now, or can we meet before rehearsal tomorrow?” (Or anything along those lines that fits with your work schedule. I have the benefit of working mainly in academic theatre, so all the folks I work with are always in the theatre building.) You might get pointed at an ASM or a spreadsheet instead, but hopefully that will get you the info you need. 

If emails work better with your schedule, though, and you haven’t emailed the SM about your prop-related concerns yet, I’d recommend you do that. The stage manager gets more face-to-face time with the director than you necessarily do, which can be helpful because the SM can press the director for details about props if you need them. In particular, if you warn the SM about details that would be helpful for you to have - size, color, consumable or not, etc. - they can look out for these things and advocate for you in the rehearsal room.

If your concern about the director is that their choices seem distasteful or unsafe or are making folks uncomfortable, this becomes a little more tricky. You’re right that it would be difficult for you to interfere, particularly since your position on the show means that you aren’t in the rehearsal room, while the SM and the director, who seem to be the center of most of these problems, are. I don’t know how new your director is, or how new your SM is to stage managing. It might be that there isn’t a clear divide about where the SM’s responsibilities end and another department head’s responsibilities begin, since the stage manager is a center of information for a show (the production manager, in my experience, is the other, but more on this later).

If you’re working on this show as a student with an advisor, I’d recommend bringing those concerns to them, phrased in as neutral a manner as you can. Otherwise, concerns of this nature could be brought to the production manager, as they’re the central hub for all pre-production-esque activities. In doing this, remember that you were hired or selected or accepted into a class precisely because you’re good at what you do. You know things about how props are sourced or made that might not be in the brain of anybody else working on that show. This means that it’s possible that your concerns haven’t been noticed yet, but if they have, it might help you to find out that conversations about them are happening amongst the staff or management and that you’re not alone in your concern. 

As always, I am not an expert, just someone who works in the field. If anybody reading this disagrees with a suggestion or has something to add, please do so.

Best,Ky 

[youregonnasurvivethis]

help me

Anon writes:

i need advice. i’m in my late 20s/disabled depressed & unemployed. trying to get govt help but no luck im in this one program but they stopped calling me should I call back and bug them? I’m also considering college advisers but idk they’re my last resort i dont know where else to turn for help No other relatives care. I’m desperate and wish someone would give me a chance.. im running out of time. and I hate how my cousins family come here from overseas with 0 exp and get asked if they want to attend school or work and 3 months later they’re doing better then me in a year. my mom she’s mid 60s basically, and she wants to retire to her home country taking me with her permanently. thing is I don’t want to go and live there because why go from 1st world to 3rd world. there its no resources for disabled ppl and they’re treated like shit. also it’s hot I hate bugs no good shower gotta bathe outside no plumbing plus wifi over there its shit and how can i watch my tv shows, go on tumblr for escape.. and my Cousins there got there own lives to live so I won’t see them much. I rather stay here in usa and be homeless with food stamps then in a shack box with incoming tsunami warnings . what should I do? find a way to stay here or suck it up and leave forever somewhere unknown while being forever depressed and suicidal. plus she says ill get more freedom.. like really? when i was there for “vacay” i didnt do shit got invited to the beach couldnt go, movies nope, library nope even walking across the street nope also kids there wont stop staring at me and calling me names and saying “go backto your country you filthy american we dont want you here and i get thrown rock at :( plus feral dogs and cats with high risk of disease if i got bit which i almost did theres no good medical help and they show up late like i witnessed both from someone else. plus excuse my horrid grammar my writing skills arent proficient since its apart of my disorder. what should i do?! i got six months left to figure it out im also trying to apply for jobs even though i have no exp apply anyway all i have is name and address thanks.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Anon, it sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate! I sympathize with you in more than one way and while I’m not an expert, hopefully I can help you make sense of some things! I’m unsure of what kind of disability you have. Can you go out and do things on your own? If yes, don’t be afraid to apply to all jobs you think you’ll do ok at, even if it is flipping burgers. No job is degrading if it’s paying for the roof above your head. That’s how you start getting experience. You say you’re in your late 20s so you’ll have an advantage as far as getting a job at places like that. In fact, you might be able to move up fast BECAUSE of your age. But don’t quote me on that. You seem to be into technology too. Why not apply at Best Buy? Or Gamestop? Or Target’s electronic section (?) or something that might interest you? Having goals, as small as they are, helps you get out of bed every morning and try your hardest. Go to the mall and walk around. See if there’s a store that’s hiring and consider if you would like to work at that store. It’s tempting to go after the jobs that offer the most money but if you have no experience, it’s a waste of time. For now. You’ll get there. It also sounds like going back to that other country with your mom is absolutely not an option for you. So that’s that. If you don’t want to go back, whether it is because it’s a third world country (it sounds like it) or because of racism (also sounds like it?) or because you plain don’t like that place, you should actively try your earnest to stay here in the US. How? Well, if your mom is leaving, you’ll need a place to stay. Again, I’m not sure about your type of disability, if it’s mental or physical, or how much it stops you for doing every day things. If you can start by getting a job, a simple job that doesn’t pressure you that much but pays enough, that would suffice. Unless you get a pretty good no-experience-required job, more than likely you won’t have enough to afford your own place by yourself (Don’t feel bad about this. We all start somewhere). Roommates might be something you’ll have to look into. You talked about College Advisors. I’ll assume you’re going to college. Is there a way you can live on campus? Work at the college? Even some community colleges will try and help you out. I’d definitely reach out to College advisors. It might feel weird to open up to them but you never know. It sounds like you need all the help you can get and you’ll be surprised by what they can do. I’d also keep bugging the government regarding the help you’re requesting. But be smart and polite about it. If you do get a hold of someone, get them to tell you how long you should wait, then go back and keep bugging them until you get answers. For example, I am fighting my own battle with the government. They told me to wait until the end of this month to hear back from them. If I don’t hear from them by then, I’ll be right and early at their offices, calling, emailing them, spamming their mail, whatever it is i have to do until I’ve exhausted my resources. I know it sounds simpler than what it is and I’m sorry you’ve reached that place where it feels like there’s nowhere else to go. This might not mean a lot right now but you’re not alone; we’ve all been there. An as cliched as it sounds, once you’ve reached the bottom, there’s nowhere else to go but up. So now that you’ve set the card on the table, develop a plan. -Family won’t help? Start trying to look for help somewhere else. Don’t spend more time wasting resources here. -Government won’t reply? Keep at it until you get answers. -No experience? No problem! Choose a simple job that requires no experience and that you can enjoy. -Third world country not an option? Good, look into all options that can keep you here where you feel comfortable. This is your life! Of course this is all up in the air. But even if things don’t go your way, at least you’ve tried. And that doesn’t mean that at that moment is when you’re allowed to give up. You HAVE to keep fighting for what you want and what makes you happy. The fight will never stop but it will be worth it. Things do get better from time to time. It’s worth being around for those moments when things pay off, even if it is in ways that you don’t expect. Hang in there, anon. I really hope this helped somewhat.