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sweetnestor · 7 years ago

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12 Days | Chapter 8.2

Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.

***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience

lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa

“I want to ask what the origin story behind this is, but I think I’m better off not knowing,” Tom typed. He attached a “selfie” wearing a bright blue shirt with the word “Wowie” printed on it in a strange fashion. Then, he sent the whole thing to Ethan.

He did see the other texts from the boy that he received the evening before, but Tom was dying to show this to him now. He finally had a look at what Ethan’s “merch” was like. To say he was not expecting “wowie” on a t-shirt was an understatement. Why “wowie”?

Halfway through editing this video, Tom kind of despised Ethan… and he definitely hated the word “Wowie” with a burning passion. It wasn’t all bad, though. Tom had spent the day with a funny pair of people: Parker and Andrew. He didn’t have to consciously act like Ethan to get along with the pair. They were so graciously weird that seeing their friend act out of character was considered normal for them… if that made any sense. The three of them, along with Amy, made a video together that was about this awful blue t-shirt. A promotional video, and instead of having a whole filming crew complete with camera men and editors, it was all self made. It was impressive, don’t get him wrong, but Tom only thrived when he was on camera, not behind the scenes.

It was a minute and a half long video, yet it was taking ages for him to put it all together. Not to mention, Tom was awaiting an update from Ethan about Zendaya. Earlier, he had said that she wanted to talk, and god knows what that was supposed to mean. On top of that, Bella was getting a little harder to handle.

Tom had invited her to come along to shoot the video, but she had gotten immensely sheepish and timid when she heard about the people who would be joining them. She made an excuse about having emails to answer and business Skype meetings to have. She only returned to his apartment after hearing that Parker, Andrew, and Amy had left for the day, and even then she just stayed in the living room while Tom finished the video. Weird, but whatever.

A few hours later, Tom could say he was proud of what he had created. The video was very sarcastic, and kind of funny, but it got the message across: “Buy this ugly ass shirt.” Really, he didn’t see the appeal, but Ethan’s fans sure did. The shirt had been on sale on Ethan’s merch store all month, and as of today, there were only ten days left to buy it. Tom learned all of this through Parker, who had a hand in running the store. Thank god he wasn’t left in completely in the dark.

Thing is, Tom easily learned about different aspects of this kid’s life. He knew the girlfriend, a good amount of the friends, and just enough about his personality to get by. The hard part was the YouTube stuff, because everyone around him assumed that he knew what he was doing. They all assumed he was Ethan. How bizarre would it be if Ethan just suddenly asked for help on the basics of editing a simple video? How long would it be for someone to figure that this wasn’t Ethan, that it was somebody else? What would they do, besides throw him in an asylum?

A knock on the bedroom door snapped Tom out of his thoughts. He pulled off his headphones and granted access.

Bella came in, an unreadable expression on her face. “Hey…”

“Hi, love,” Tom greeted, turning in his chair to face her.

She stepped in, looking around the room as she tangled her fingers together. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, I’m just…” She sighed. “This is really stupid, like really stupid…”

“Oh, how bad could it be?” he asked, putting on a kind smile, despite how nervous the sudden tension made him.

Bella picked at her nails to fill the silence. But she finally asked in a soft voice, “why didn’t you ask me to be in your video?”

Honestly, Tom had been hoping she had that conversation with her real boyfriend. Even he found it weird that the “talking to women” bit from the video starred Amy. Why not Bella? It probably wasn’t something to fuss about, but the girl’s nerves radiated for miles, it made Tom himself feel like he had done something wrong. He didn’t even know how to respond.

“I mean, you and Parker came up with the video idea like what? Two weeks ago,” she rambled, “and you guys came up with the ‘talking to girls’ thing and your first thought was Amy? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I-I mean she did come up with the shirt design…”

Ah, so that was the culprit.

“I-It’s not that I wanted to slap you - uh, fake slap you for a video,” Bella went on, her voice getting shaky, “i-it’s just you didn’t think to ask me, I don’t know. Am I freaking out over nothing?”

“You freak out over everything,” Tom said without thinking. There was a small pause before he turned back to the computer.

“I know, it’s what I do,” Bella said, not seeming offended by that statement. “It probably wasn’t a big deal. I shouldn’t have bothered you, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Any other thoughts, concerns?” It was half sarcastic, but she took the bait.

“I’ve been… having dreams…”

Ethan was supposed to know that tone, what that particular phrase meant. Tom, on the other hand, was clueless.

“Naughty dreams?”

“No.” Bella’s tone was serious now. She paced around the small recording space, still picking at her nails. “Bad dreams. I’ve had dreams like this before… Ethan, please don’t make me say it.”

It had been five days since the switch, five days of being this girl’s boyfriend, and Tom was getting more and more impatient.

“Don’t talk about it then,” he said with a shrug. “If it’s really that scary, or disturbing, or whatever it is... then you don’t need to speak of it.”

Again, it was silent. Tom definitely said the wrong thing, but he didn’t know how to handle a girl with anxiety. He could barely handle Zendaya, even though he hoped to fix things with her.

“You’re probably right,” Bella spoke at last. She turned on her heel towards the door. “No one wants to remember that time, especially me.” She stopped at the doorway and looked back at him. “Oh, and I just figured out why I was freaking out over Amy. It’s been almost a year since Mark left me for her.”

Whoa. What would Ethan say to that? What would Ethan think about his girlfriend mentioning her ex?

Speaking of the ex, Tom’s phone dinged on his desk. Mark had texted him. Admittedly, Tom wasn’t really texting anyone consistently apart from Ethan. He had also ignored Mark’s texts from the other day, so there was a chance he wasn’t on good terms with the boss.

“Hey look man, I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, but I need an answer. Are you going to be returning to work anytime soon? Or do we need to make a public statement that you don’t work for me anymore? I’m not trying to put pressure on you, or anything with malice. I just need to know what’s going on business wise.”

Public statement? So the fans knew Mark had editors? And there had to be something said publicly when something changed behind the scenes? Is that how YouTube works?

“I think my girlfriend is hung up on you, you’re the last person I need to see right now,” Tom typed for literally no other reason except to see if it sounded like something his other half would say. He chuckled to himself after deeming that it was too ridiculous and out of line and went to delete it…

You know when you mean to do one thing but instead do another? Yeah, Tom somehow mixed up the ‘send’ key and the ‘backspace’ key, and well…

“Fuck!” he snapped, sitting up in his chair, watching as the angry text sent. “No, no, no, no! Shit!”

Oh god, Ethan was so fired.

Tom didn’t have the heart to tell Ethan about the wonderful conversation he had with Mark following that text. He read through the messages he received while he was editing over and over again just to avoid telling him what went down. Ethan seemed excited to be in Montreal.

“So guess I have a workout tomorrow morning? Wish me luck bc I’ll actually die.” That’ll be fun to hear about, but it didn’t settle the knot in Tom’s stomach.

“I’m almost ok with the switch if it means getting to stay in this house dude it’s so nice?? I’m never leaving.” Tom was not okay with the switch. He wanted to be in that house right now, leave Ethan with the mess that he made.

“I finished the wowie video. I hate the word wowie. Please never say it again,” he typed and sent before reading the rest of the texts. He noticed that Ethan will either be completely silent, or send multiple texts at once. No in between.

“Also,,,,, fuck kinda friendship you got with Harrison? You give each other lap dances???” Ethan asked. Oh no. Oh god. “Not judging, just wish I’d known you were rejecting zendaya for ur best m8 lolol.”

Tom literally groaned out loud and palmed his forehead. Then, he frantically sent, “IT WASNOTHING WE DONT SPEAK OF IT SHUT UP.” No way he was getting into that with this guy. He wouldn’t understand.

The next message didn’t help very much. “Speaking of Daya, we talked today. She asked abot how you feel and what you thought you 2 had going on. Made it clear it was her choice what happened, but that you’re just friends? Idk man how DO you feel?”

“Anyway, the videos were good. Much better than Tyler’s first edits for sure. Good job, I’m impressed.”

“Shooting starts tomorrow so I’m off to learn everything there is to know about acting…….. By watching some movie wiht the guys, gn.”

Tom sat there for a few minutes, trying to word any of the thoughts in his head. Why couldn’t have Ethan made the Zendaya decision for him? He seems like a nice guy, he’s had a girlfriend for six months, and she didn’t seem tired of him!

“I’ll deal with her when we switch back… by the way when are we gonna switch back??? Anyway, have a good night mate, have a pint for me!”

_____

tag list: @beardedsteveslut @marie-is-in-the-dark @ohsnapitzmoony

_____

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #tom holland x oc #tom holland x reader #sweetheart writes #sweetheart collabs #twelve days #drama? drama #it aint a fanfic without some petty ass drama #bella was patient with tom but will mark be??#tbh idek yet idek what imma do for the next chapter #these are all made at the last minute guys pls give us attention #also the tom/harrison/we dont speak of it thing #was from a text post i saw on here one time #so i slid it to sam's dm's and was like dude #we gotta #tbh idk what they did that night #we may never know #hehehehehehehe

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joestrummen · 8 years ago

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Watching X-Men

It feels narcissistic to post liveblogs a lot of the time I watch stuff, but then even when I had no friends I used to write these things in me diary. I was a sad kid...

Did I learn about evolution from X-Men I stg

Damn this labour camp scene used to fuck me up (I remember it like I used to watch it over and over)

If the presentation of powers is brought on by traumatic events what the fuck happened to Rogue (was kissing that guy the first time it happened?) (Jean said it was heightened emotion, maybe she was just turned on...)

y i k e s I forgot about mutant registration

You think Patrick Stewart hasn't aged and then you see him from ten years ago and damn he had dark eyebrows and smooth skin

Did Charles just look in Magneto's brain? I thought he agreed not to do that?

YEA

BRING ME THE CAGE FIIIIGHTINNNN

MNMNMNMNMN

Oh my God Rogue is so thirsty X'D

I just realised my ultimate dream in life is to impress Wolverine in a cage fight

[head in hands] they put in clanking sound effects when wolverine hit the other guy why did the year 2000 have to happen to good films

if han solo is a butch icon can logan be one too i stg these bootcut jeans, the big brown cowboy leather belt, the ... whatever the fuck his hair is im wilding

im literally losing my shit every time he's on screen im fucking dying he's in that leather jacket that cigar end me END ME

two queers clocking each other in a shitty dive bar YES

wolverine's life as a metaphor for the cycle of poverty that being queer traps you in

(and one thing that mutants and queers have that jewish people don't is ostracision for their family, which can have impacts for isolation and poverty) (correct me if i'm wrong)

wolverine dresses like a dyke im losing my shit

can someone explain to me what is the fuck wolverine's hair

omfg he's such a grumpy goofball

I always loved Rogue's magicka coat

She is fucking wild omfg u chase that man omfg

being like fuck off im not helping, driving away 50m, and then being compelled to stop is Everything I Look For In A Character (am i being like a reylo like if he hadnt she would have straight up died idk)

and now he's feeding her killlll me

I’m getting kinda philosophical about how I so instinctively loved the tropes in this film and they are STILL sending me wild like what in fresh biological determinism is this

i cant deal wiht every single got damn second between wolv and rogue every inch of me is ascending to a higher plane of id

this film is made of literally every non-sexual kink ive ever had i cant deal with this not at all

uggggghghghghghghgh he was being all uncaring but he fed her and turned on the heater even though she didnt complain about the cold and when she flinched when he nearly touched her he reassured her and now he just told her his name im fuckin dyin larry

wow waking up in that hospital must not have been a fun flashback like experience for wolverine he must fucking hate hospitals

HOly Shit Charles speaking directly into his head while he's that freaked the fuck out is NOt Helping the situation

uggggghhhh oh my god Charles 6000% sees Logan like a son end my entire body I don't neeeed this Wolv and Rogue is bad enough fuuuck

also lol @ Charles holding a supervision what a Cambs boy

oh my god baby logan is only 15 years old

and i stg if charles promised not to look in people's heads because he is all up in logan's business

oh shit add amnesia to the list

wolverine is so protective of rogue enddd me

BOBBY HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO PERFECT MAKING AN ICE ROSE LIKE WHAT A PLAYA HE IS RIGHT IN THERE

'when i was 17 i met a young man named erik lensherr. he too had an unusual power' this is literally a description of meeting the first other gay man in your life (and/or falling for them)

im still unsure about magneto as a radical activist (is that the word)

lol can i blame this on the troubles again. i cant find anyone who's activism incites and escalates violence to be a good or productive thing.

I love that Jean Grey is the kind of woman that Logan is into

WHO wrROTE the flirting in this film they are all creeps omfg

If Logan is in a different timeline then I could correct his behaviour to be actually like a radical activist, though that would take some research

Wtf Charles theyre talking about a register it would be exactly like getting a number tattooed on your forearm

McKellen is reeeally giving me a Ben Whishaw vibe

If Magneto is a good guy why didn't he just recruit her instead of kidnapping and planning to kill her. Wouldn't it be much more fascinating if he had recruited her. Maybe in the fix it timeline he did.

'If you were really so righteous, it'd be you in that thing.' too right wolv

awwwww wolverine you lil self sacrificing fluff ball

So in the fix it verse I'll have Wolverine blame Magneto for Rogue's death or something and Magneto will be like she came by choice and wolv will be like she was fifteen

#watching xmen #liveblog

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theenetflixnerd · 8 years ago

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Riverdale Recap. Chapter 3: Body Double

Right Oh! Daayyuuuuumm is about my initial reaction to this episode. I was a bit disappointed this week to be honest but Riverdale still has a fan in me yet. Let’s discuss the happenings of this episode. At first I was like “Meh. Boring episode and doesn’t add much to the story line” but after giving myself some time and watching it a second time - I was feeling better about it, however having said that I am still a little uncertain about some plot thickeners used in this episode - guess we’ll have to just wait and see where they lead to though (some of them I hope will be quashed or buried deep and far away to never resurface again- sorry CW)

So first things first - WELCOME to the RIVERDALE scene, Chuck Clayton! Chuck was always an awesome part of the comics! Except - where is his beloved Nancy? .... Not sure how I feel about this Chuck and Veronica thing. Although - Damn. That didn’t last long! .... The first date was initially great and I liked the pair together, however that kiss just seemed awkward and sloppy. Eeuww. Then the next day Chuck is revealed to be the stereotypical douchebag player by slut shaming V on Social Media? No thanks, CW. This ain’t the Chuck we know and love - c’mon here.

But what I do love about this however is that it provides our beautiful female heroines the chance to be all POWER TO THE WOMEN. Yes my inner feminazi is greatly appeased by this! I love the strength these girls portray fighting for their reputations and not letting any guys abuse them and trash their fellow females. Some of my favourite quotes

‘ I don’t follow the rules. I make them, and when necessary.. I break them’ - Veronica Lodge

‘If you wanna help me get revenge ... you better be willing to Full Dark, No Stars!’ - Veronica Lodge

You go girl!! I’m kind of loving the fierce side of Veronica.

Betty rounds up some other girls to help clear Veronica’s name and lo and behold, turns out not only Chuck but the majority of the football team are involved in this horrible ‘Game’ trying to catch these innocent unsuspecting girls and competing in some wretched ‘Playbook’. Seriously, this is like a major pet peeve for me. Could you be anymore of a douchebag? Honestly. Grrr! Cheryl is shocked to find out that Jason was involved in this behaviour too.... and Polly (Betty’s sister) was one of his victims (’Prissy prude by day , freak in the sheets by night’ - absolutely DISGUSTING that these asswipes can even talk about a girl that way. Aarrrggghh makes me so damn mad)

Glad they all got cut from the team and exposed - but what are the consequences???? I can’t wait to find out!!

So B and V concoct a plan to get Chuck to spill the truth and enter the scene BADASS BETTY! Dayum girl! She goes absolutely FULL DARK! No Stars! Betty? Who’s that?? .... This is one of the story lines which I am not too sure I am comfortable with TBH. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE this fierce, feisty femme fatale - but I don’t like where this seems to be leading (all just theories here) ... Betty completely takes on this other persona and honestly it’s a little scary, she gets so in to it that she starts yelling at Chuck ranting on about how he ruined Polly and then she calls him JASON and screams “How could you do this to me? How could you destroy ME?’ - Uhm? When did your name change from Betty Cooper to Polly Copper? ... and then when V talks to her the next day she doesn’t seem to remember the details ... I am just hoping this weird split personality thing is just a one-off moment of stress and not a complete psycho alter ego who perhaps went as far as to kill Jason? I mean who knows right - but I am begging now CW - please don’t ruin my childhood by making my sweet, beloved Betty the villain here. My heart couldn’t take it!

Another thread in the episode is the fact that Cheryl admits she DID help Jason disappear, and he was alive and well when she left him on the other side of the River, and while hugging him goodbye she too had heard the gunshot. No one believes her, until our hot hero, Archie comes forward and corroborates her story ... although he still is trying to protect the much despised (by me) Ms Grundy (eeuuggh I just can’t stand her!) so makes up a story about being there with his dog and writing Music. Ofcourse, this isn’t the end of it Archies dad gets upset that Archie lied (as he had thought Arch was on a roadtrip wiht Juggie) and grounds him. Cheryl offers to grant any wish for Archie as a thank you for coming forward about the gunshot - nothing is off limits except her body - but well all know if Archie wanted it he probably coulda got it.

What does he wish for? Writing for Josie and Pussycats. Loved these scenes and sure that this is gonna be the start of something beautiful.

Fred Andrews finally comes around after talking to Ms Grundy about Archie. No, this not awkward at all! ha ... ha .. haha. This scene was just painful to watch.

Jugheads research leads him to learning that Dilton Doily was the one who shot that gun on July 4th but thats not all .... to save his own ass he relates some information which well let’s just say Archie is screwed .... Dilton saw Ms Grundy’s car at the river that day. Wonder what she was doing there? Oh wait I mean who.

So, Ms Grundy is now exposed well kind of - and judging from the promo for episode 4 it’s gonna be an interesting one. Turns out the REAL Ms Grundy (one who actually looks like Ms Grundy from the comics) died years ago .... so who is this imposter? and what is she doing in Riverdale?

Riverdale, you hooked me again!! I can’t wait for next week!!

#riverdale #veronicalodge #bettycooper #archieandrew #chuckclayton #jugheadjones #josieandthepussycats #cherylblossom #badassbetty #msgrundy #diltondoiley

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nachtgraves · 8 years ago

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a++ kuzuhina: maybe the same ship with #4.“I’m flirting with you.”?

Oh my god I am so sorry this took forever and a half BUT I FINALLY FINISHED IT. I experimented with writing a thing told mostly through texting so hopefully it still flows pretty well? It was an experience, I tell you. Also. I apologize for the awful title for this but it was literally the best I could think of. And I probably should have used time stamps but I’m a dumb and hope extra spacing gives the same effect?

Title: Mis-Texting Could Possibly End in Kissing // AO3Word Count: ~4200Warnings/Tags: PG. Told through texting with interspersed prose, high school au, hope’s peak still exists, but no despairs, some typos are intentional and let’s pretend the others are too, real minor angst. Hajime is non-italics, Fuyuhiko and the two instances of Chiaki are in italics.

[ughhhhhh][im so bored][she wont stop taking][talking*]

[That’s kind of the point of a presentation]

[nooneasked for ur sass]

Hajimedoesn’t know how it happened, but he and the infamous ‘baby-faced yakuza ofHope’s Peak High’ are texting buddies.

Well.

Maybethat’s not entirely true. He does know how it started, at least.

[heypres][its kuzuryuu][souda gave me ur number][wat do we need for teh fair agian?]

[Sorry, youmight have the wrong number]

[oh][ur not nanmi?][fuck][souda is dead][sorry]

[Noworries. Mistakes happen][But, by Souda do you mean Souda Kazuichi?And did you mean to text Nanami Chiaki?]

[yeah][who r u??]

[Chiaki’s a close friend. Ournumbers happen to be really similar. Hers ends in a 1 instead of a 2]

[ohthanks][srry for the mix up]

[Don’tworry about it. Happens fairly often :p]

Hajimedoesn’t hear back from the stranger for a few days and quickly forgets themix-up even happened. He hadn’t been lying when he said that such thingshappened fairly often, especially since Chiaki was voted as class rep. (She hadbeen so surprised and happy, Hajime thought a new VR game system was announced).Chiaki and him and found it quite amusing and it wasn’t much trouble to fix themistake usually. But one afternoon, he’s cleaning up his room and finds apacket of papers that look important by the large scrawling over the front pagein Chiaki’s loopy handwriting, reading: ‘SCHOOL FEST BUDGET’. He also knowsthat Chiaki wasn’t going to be home for hours, since her school festival wasthis coming weekend and she’s been staying back to organize, plan, and dowhatever it is class representatives do for events like that.

[Hey you left a packet of papers atmine. School fest budget?]

[Chiaki?]

[Goddmannit did u foget to chargeyour phone again?]

Knowingthat if the packet were important, Chiaki would be freaking out (she always putso much pressure on herself, especially since she became class rep), Hajimestares at the packet in his lap. He could run to Chiaki’s high school, butdoubts he would be let in since it was almost sundown and Hope’s Peak High wasone of the more prestigious secondary schools in their district. Hajime himselfgoes to a regular public school a short walk from their neighbourhood.

Staringat his phone, as if it was going to give him an answer, he finds one as hescrolls through his messages. He still has the short conversation from thestranger from Chiaki’s class. It’s worth a shot, at the very least.

[Hey this is Chiaki’s friend HinataHajime. I still had your number from when you mis-texted me and I was wonderingif Chiaki was nearby? She’s not answering her phone]

[yeah][why?]

[I think she forgot something at myhouse. School fest budget?]

[yeah][she thought she lost it][shes asking if u can drop it off at her place][her phone is dead]

[Yeah I cando that][Thanks]

Laterthat night, Hajime is attempting to complete a history essay due the nextmorning when he receives a text. His phone is plugged in by his bed, on theopposite end of where his desk is. He literally jumps at the distraction,hopping into bed and lying back against the pillows propped up against the headboard.

[Thanksfor dropping off the packet.]

[No prob][You need to remember to charge your phone]

[I know. (*_ _) ][How did you have Kuzuryuu’snumber, by the way?]

[The miss-text a few days ago.Figured it was worth a try]

[Thank you. You really saved me.]

Threehours later, it’s inching closer to midnight and Hajime hasn’t returned to hisassignment. Chiaki is not impressed.

[Doyour work.]

[I’m takinga break]

[(￢_￢) You’ve been ‘takinga break’ for three hours. Stop procrastinating and finish your homework.]

[You’re notdoing your homework]

[I finished my homework. I’m makingsure all the plans for the school fair next month are in order.

You’recoming to it, right?]

[Yeah][If I’m not stuck wiht tuorting…][Tutoring*][Can’t you help???]

[You know I’m not that much betterthan you. Sonia helps me.]

[Give me hernumber?][I’m desperate a tthis point]

[That’sa breach of privacy.]

[Chiakiiiiiiiiiii][Please?][I’ll do your Japanese hw next time?]

[No.]

[JapaneseAND math?]

[Tempting.But good night, Hajime.]

[Chiaki][Chiaki][Chiaki come back][Chiakiiiiii][What kind of friend are u?]

It’stimes like this Hajime sometimes wishes he was closer to some of hisclassmates. He’s not a loner, but he’s definitely a drifter of sorts. He has peopleto talk to and sit with at lunch, but rarely does he spend time with hisclassmates outside of school or for non-school related activities. Because ofthat, he’s not close enough to anyone to randomly message them at close tomidnight for homework help.

Justas he’s trying to figure out a solution – since it’s far too late to actually do his work like the goodstudent he only sometimes is, his phone goes off. And this, is the true startof everything.

[cmon i’ll pay u][and by pay i mean not break ur fucking teeth with my fist]

[Wrongperson?][Hopefully, at least]

[fuck][sorry][yeah][i meant to text the person above u in my message list thing]

[Everythingokay?]

[yeahjust some shitty hw]

[You too?][I have this awful history essay due tomorrow]

[historyis whatever][math is killing me]

[Math isn’ttoo bad][At least there’s always just one answer]

[historyand english u just bs tho]

[But it’sso subjective][Everything depends on something else]

[wannatrade then?]

Andthat is how Hajime found himself a homework buddy. Kuzuryuu is good at Englishand history, while Hajime’s strengths lie in math and science, and the both ofthem were pretty good at Japanese. One night of texting back and forth, helping(dipping into the realm of ‘academic dishonesty’ on occasion) with theirrespective assignments. They say goodnight close to dawn, but Kuzuryuu had stayedup long after his homework was complete and waited and helped Hajime until hewas done as well.

Fromthen on, Hajime would find himself texting back and forth with this boy he’snever met. At first, they exclusively went to the other for homework help, buteventually Hajime would send Kuzuryuu a short text about something funny that hadhappened (a cat attacking some dumb kids that were trying to taunt it) andKuzuryuu would send him a rant about something that annoyed him (old womenthinking that he’s younger than he is or a police officer asking if he’s losthis parents) and it snowballs into them casually texting throughout the day,particularly during boring presentations that no one, including the personpresenting, cared about.

[Payattention and stop distracting me]

[potnd kettle][stop looking at ur phone during class]

[Shush][I’m bored too]

[fuckinquit the holier than thou then][i can ignore u][nd u can be bored alone]

[Youwouldn’t do that][Who’d you distract if not me?]

[plentyof pple][ur lucky i deign to talk to u]

[Yeah][I’m sooo grateful]

[ushould be]

[Stilldoubt that you could ignore me]

[fuckintry me]

[Is that achallenge?]

Kuzuryuulasts all of until the end of the school day. Hajime can be quite theannoyance.

[jfc ur gonna break my phone]

[I win :D]

[uwin a fist to the face when i see u]

[Are wegoing to meet up then?][So eager to see me :P]

[Kuzuryuu?]

[I’m sorryif I made it weird]

[nahi had to hide my phone fr a bit][ur the one who sounds too happy bout gettinghis face smashed]

[You’re tooviolent][How do you have firneds if you treaten to hurt htem all the time?]

[nicetypos]

[Hush. Atleast I use proper grammar most of the time]

[yshould i waste my time with shit like that?]

[Forlegibility][I got to go][Got phys ed :/][Save me]

[ihope u have to run laps the entire time]

[You areevil]

Hope’sPeak’s festival comes and goes one weekend. As usual, it is a busy event due tothe school’s prestigious standing. Hajime, as promised, visits Chiaki’s class,doing an interactive murder mystery café of sorts where customers are givenclues with their orders to figure out the murder of a prop set up in the centerof the classroom. He finally meets some of Chiaki’s classmates whom she’stalked about and apparently she’s talked to them about him in return. However,and though he won’t admit it to anyone other than Chiaki if hard pressed, hekeeps his ears open for the name Kuzuryuu and is disappointed to realize thathis texting buddy was nowhere to be seen.

(“Kuzuryuu?We sent him to go advertise with Koizumi and Saionji,” says Sonia. “Do you twoknow each other?”

“Uh,he mis-texted me once,” Hajime replies. He redirects further questions awayfrom him and towards what they used to make the neon pink blood for the fakecrime scene.)

Hajimemay have lingered around for a bit until he couldn’t justify staying and beinga distraction any longer. By the time he leaves to go back home, he’s exchangednumbers with a few of them with vague promises to meet up some time and hangout. Even as he leaves the school, weaving past the steady stream of peoplestill entering the premise, his eyes roam for individuals advertising forChiaki’s class. He returns home to his books and TV without having met aKuzuryuu.

[You guysdid a good job at your school fest]

[uwent?]

[I promisedChiaki]

[u2 datin or somthn?]

[God no][We’ve known each other forever]

[doesntmean u havnt dated]

[Ew][She’s practically my sister]

[heardu got numbers frm some girls in my class]

[Oh yeah][Are Sonia and Mioda always like that?]

[annoying?][obnoxious?][preppy?]

[Haha][Your class seems really cool]

[seems][u dont see them 5 days a week]

[I bet your classmates have thingsto say about you too]

[maybe][but they wouldnt live for long if they say anything]

[Hahahawhat are you, the yakuza?]

[Kuzuryuu?]

[uhavent looked me up?]

[Why wouldI?][And you’ve never told me your first name]

[uwouldnt need my first name][but its fuyuhiko]

[You’re not pulling oneover on me are you?]

[i go to hopespeak idiot][sonia’s a motherfucking princess][nd y woud i joke about that?]

[You’re not going to send people after me for makingfun of you, are you?]

[ur entertainingfor now]

[Oh ha ha][Glad I amuse you]

[Wait][Oh my god][Is this you?][[image]]

[u got somethingto say?]

[No][Just][Not what I was expecting]

[think carefullybout ur words hinata]

[I thought I wasentertaining?]

[toys can getbroken]

[Now that’s uncalled for][I didn’t even say anything about how adorable you look]

[HINATA]

[It’s true though!][You can’t call a hit on me for being truthful]

[just shut up][y did i tell you to look me up][yd u look for pictures?]

[Curiosity][We’ve been talking for a while now and we don’t even know what the other lookslike]

[Kuzuryuu?][Did you know what I looked like?]

[bein cautious isimportant]

[Omg you looked me up][What horrible pictures did you find???]

[[image]]

[That’s from Chiaki’s fb!]

[not that hard]

[I TRIED TO FIND YOU ONFB THOUGH]

[securitysettings]

[Oh][Point]

It’snot too long after that Hajime receives a friend request from one KuzuryuuFuyuhiko. He hits accept almost embarrassingly fast and proceeds to exploreKuzuryuu’s newly unveiled profile with the eagerness of a stalker given an inchand taking a mile. There’s not much to explore, the other boy doesn’t seem touse the website very much, which honestly does not surprise Hajime though hecan’t help but feel a little disappointed.

[The last time you were active onfb was almost a year ago][And it was a profile pic update][That you didn’t even upload??]

[soudand sonia hacked my account][sonia was offended my profile pic was like 2 yrs old][koizumi has a fuckton of pics of ppl][nd i was 2 lazy 2 change it]

[It’s agood picture of you]

[thanks]

Uponadding Kuzuryuu, Hajime’s flooded by friend requests from Chiaki’s otherclassmates and ends up talking semi-regularly with them. Kuzuryuu and him stilltext each other practically daily, to the point Chiaki comments on it whenHajime is over at hers to help her complete co-op achievements for a game she’syet to 100 per cent.

(“Youand Kuzuryuu seem to really get along.” Chiaki glances pointedly at Hajime’sphone as it buzzes several times, Kuzuryuu’s name flashing on the screen.

Hajimeshrugs noncommittedly, and is oddly relieved that the game finishes loading andthey’re thrust into a horde of mutant creatures.)

Evenhis classmates notice he’s on his phone a lot more often during and betweenclasses.

(“Gota girlfriend, Hinata?”

Frowning,Hajime shakes his head, “No, why?”

“You’realways on your phone texting and smiling down at it.”

Hajime’ssure his face has never been more red and when, moments later, he gets a textfrom Kuzuryuu complaining about the apparent Souda-Sonia-Tanaka love trianglethat should just turn into a threesome, he realizes his face does indeed moveon its own.)

[Oh my godhelp]

[what’dyou do?]

[Gave into peer pressure and wentto a goukon with some classmates -_-][I’m hiding in the bathroom][But I’ll have ot go back out there][:c]

[urnot drinking r u?][ur not 20]

[A yakuzaheir is against underage drinking?]

[udidnt answer]

[No one’sdrinking][We’re at a karaoke place][But htank you for caring c:]

[shutup][u dont usually go out w/ ur classmates]

[Yeah][Some of them have been teasing me about a girlfriend so I mostly just went sothey’d shut up]

[girlfriend?][u said u nd nanami werent dating]

[We’re not][They think you’re my secret girlfriend]

[?]

[Apparently I smiled while textingor something][And I’ve been on my phone more often][And you’re the only person I really text during class so]

[oh]

[Yeah, funny right?][Wonder what they’d think if they knew I was texting buddies with the heir tothe Kuzuryuu clan lmao][Though some ofthem already give me shit for being close to Chiaki just cuz shegoes to Hope’s Peak][They think you guys are snobby elitests just cuz you go to a prestigiousschool and we’re just public school kids][But you guys arent tat different][Just different talents and families][Woops sorry][Didn’t mean to get all ranty][Ugh I gotta go][Can’t hide here forever]

Afterthe goukon, which wasn’t horrible but neither was it all that enjoyable, Hajime’splunged into preparations for his school’s culture festival and upcoming exams. He’s barely had timeto text Kuzuryuu other than short greetings and the occasional tidbit from hisday that the other boy would find amusing. He misses their daily conversationsand when he finally has some down time, the day before the culture festival,he’s holed up in his room and on his phone while he catches up on TV shows onhis laptop.

[Hey longtime no chat][I’ve finally got free time again!]

[yea][school stuff?]

[Yeah][Every teacher decided to have everything due weeks early so we weren’toverwhelend when finals come around][Kill me -_-]

[shouldnt u be spending ur free timew/ ur gf stead of talking to me?]

[What?]

[ugot a gf or whatvr after that goukon][didnt u?]

[No?][Where’d you hear that?]

[therewas a pic on fb][u were tagged][it showed up on my feed]

[I haventbeen on fb recently][Lemme check]

[Oooooh][Yeah no][I wasn’t even aware this was taken][And the comments are baseless][I barely spoke to her][There was no ‘chemistry brewing’]

[shescute tho]

[Yeah Iguess?][Objectively][But not really interested][She doesn’t go to my school][And we met for like five seconds]

[datingimplies getting to kno eachother]

[Yeah but][Idk][Just nothing clicked?][And I wasn’t even looking for anything going to the thing either so][What about you?]

[watabout me?]

[You thinkshe’s cute][She your type?]

[no]

[Am I notgetting more than that?]

[i’mmore into a dif set of anatomy]

[?????]

[shesnot a he]

[Oh][OH][You’re]

[homo]

[Oh]

[ifthats a problem u should delete my number]

[NO][Not a prob at all][Sorry][Just surpside][Supreied][SURPRISED][Fuck][I’m sorry]

[usaid that alredy]

[Well I am][Could have responded better]

[couldaresponded worse][so][not a prob?]

[Coursenot][That’d be stupid for one][And hypocrtical for antoher]

[hypocritical?]

[I’m bi][Or pan][Idk][Still nto sure about the difference tbh][Nd I have a friend who’s ace]

[nanami?]

[I cannot divulge something that isnot mine to tell]

[she let it slip when we werecleaning up after culture fest][sonia and mioda bugged her bout if u two were dating][hanamura wanted to know bout ur sex life]

[Hanamurascares me][And yes to Chiaki being my ace friend]

[hanamurascares everyone][u basically gave it away with ur notanswr answer]

[Shedoesn’t care][But I still didn’t actually confirm or deny][Because that would be rude][(◡‿◡✿)]

[fuckoff][dont u dare start using those kaomoji things like nanami]

[(。・ω・。)][( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)][*｡:ﾟ+\(^‿^✿)]

[imgonna block u]

[(◕‸◕✿) *pout*]

Theydon’t re-visit the topic of sexuality again and settle back into their frequentback and forth texting. Hajime’s still teased at school but once he finallycaves and lets his classmates know that he is not texting a girl, but a boyfrom Chiaki’s class at Hope’s Peak, all interest in his affairs are lost.

Winteris fast approaching and with that comes the school culture festivals foreveryone other than Hope’s Peak, who have their festival earlier because no onewould go to any other school event if Hope’s Peak is allowing outsiders to touraround. Hajime’s class decides what to do rather quickly since no one’s allthat interested in putting too much effort, but Hajime still ends up being runragged with the rest of his class in the last minute preparations.

[I hateculture fests]

[culturefest?]

[Yeah][My school’s one is coming up][My class is doing a butler/maid cafe][Because we are simple public school students who don’t have the resources forpink blood]

[I was kidding][Your class’ murder cafe was the best thing I’ve ever seen][Thouhg I admit I had high expectations since you guys do go to Hope’s Peak]

[it was nanami’s idea][nd hanamuras a creep but good cook][nd sonias gotta 1up everyone nd dished out money so we could go way overbudget]

[Haha][But it was great][I had a lot of fun]

[Btw][Your birthday’s coming up right?]

[no][y?]

[Is yourbirthday not during the winter?]

[itsin aug]

[But yourname is FUYUhiko]

[ndmy sis is natsumi but her birthdays in march]

[But][That doesn’t make sense]

[blameour parents]

Hajime’sculture festival comes and goes. It goes fairly well in his opinion, even ifhis butler uniform ended up shrinking in the wash and it was too late to fix. He’spretty sure his pants were borderline indecent with how tight they were and thefact that he had felt far too many eyes on his ass and crotch region during theday was not comforting in the least. No real disturbances occurred though, other than when Chiaki came by and was recognizedby video game enthusiasts and Hope’s Peak admirers.

[thoughtu were doing a butler cafe not a host club]

[?????]

[[image]]

[Where didyou get that???]

[ihave my sources][could u not find pants that werent 3 szies too small?]

[It shrankin the wash okay][But oh god][Did I look that bad all day???][Kill me]

[udidn’t look bad][how many ppl asked u out this time?]

[None??][Though now I know why girls kept giggling when I turned my back][I don’t know if I can show my face at school again]

[theywere prob giggling cuz u have a nice ass]

[Ha ha]

[urnot ugly idiot][i bet tons of girls are crushing on u at school][nd guys][im surprised ur single]

[Shut up][If it’s a surprise anyone is single it’s you][You’re funny, snarky, smart, and really attractive][And you pretend like you’re relaly grumpy and antisocial][But when Chiaki talks about school and you come up you’re always taking part][And the fact that you’re secretly really toned][Like seeing those beach pictures on Koizumi’s fb][Oh my god][And your eyes][If they look that gorg in candid photos I don’t want to imagine in rl][And I’m just this normal whatever][Mediocre in every way]

[Uh][Pretend I never said all that?]

[didu fb stalk me on other ppl’s fb?][nd ask nanmi to spy on me for u?]

[No]

[Maybe][No to the spying][Maybe I would ask about you though?][I’m sorry]

[ur not mediocre][wanna talk about pretty eyes?][and secretly toned bodies?][if u wore clothes that didnt swallow u][ud be batting away pple who wanna date/fuck u][nd ur eyes are the ones that are gorg and unique][u have any idea how many times ive thought of wanting to see em in person?][nad how nanami talks about u all the time][i knew of u before the whole mistexting crap][but as nanmi’s annoying notboyfriend][and now i get hwy she praises u so much][anyone would be lucky to go out with you][ur stupidly nice and considerate][but also a sarcastic little shit u cant hate]

[You don’t need to say nice thingsto me just cuz I made a fool of myself just now]

[imflirting wth u dumbass]

[Oh]

Hajime is typing…

[uever gonna finish ur reply]

[I’mpanicking][Give me a break][I don’t know how to respond]

[fine][go on a date with me?][ y ( ) n ( )]

[How did Inever realize how dorky you are]

[fuckinjust anser or ill punch ur stupid face]

[Maybe I’drather you kiss it]

[andi’m a dork?][fucking loser]

[Shut up][You didn’t say no though]

[ustill havent answered me]

[You first]

[fucku i asked first]

[I askedsecond]

[HINATAI S2G I WILL SHANK U]

[I’m sorry][I default to annoying when im embbarsed and dont know waht im doing][I want you to kiss me. I want to kiss you][So yes please]

[yesor no woulda been fine][dork]

“…”

“What?”Kuzuryuu finally snaps.

“This is a lot harder in person,”Hinata laughs weakly. And it really is. Especially because Kuzuryuu is even cuter in person and Hajime didn’tthink that could be possible. Also, the skinny jeans and casual button downcombo he’s sporting makes it hard for Hajime to look anywhere at the boy’s bodywithout blushing. He’d been so excited to finally meet up, expecting to fallinto conversation as easily as they do while texting, but one look at Kuzuryuuwaiting by the entrance of the movie theater, scowling at everyone who’d lookat him, had wiped most of the vocabulary in Hajime’s brain.

“Younever shut up when we text,” Kuzuryuu grumbles.

“It’snot my fault you’re even cuter in person and I forgot everything I wanted tosay.” Kuzuryuu scowls but he also turns redder than before. “See! If you canstop being so adorab—”

“Hinata,I swear if you call me c-cute or a—that, again you’ll wish I sent Peko afteryou.”

“Peko?”

Kuzuryuugives him a look that is equal parts fond and exasperated and a littlebewildered. “You could have found so much about me just from a few google searches.”

Hajimejust shrugs and looks down at his feet, “Yeah, but I’d rather get to know youby actually talking to you.” When he looks up, Kuzuryuu’s facing away but notenough to completely hide the fact that his cheeks and ears are tinged a darkpink-red, especially since Hajime’s got a 22cm height advantage. Hajime grins.“C’mon, we’re going to be late for the movie.”

Whenhe reaches forward and grabs Kuzuryuu’s hands, he files away the squawkingnoise the shorter boy emits as he tugs him along towards the movie theater. Inall honesty, Hajime wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about the movie they saw –he believes it was an action flick – since Kuzuryuu decided to pay back the handholding with a game of gay chicken that led to some intense public displayingof affection. They’re lucky the theater was mostly empty and they chose seatstowards the back. Hajime’s mental notes of Kuzuryuu by the end of the movieinclude several points relating to the plushness of Kuzuryuu’s lips, the factthat Kuzuryuu’s palate is quite the sensitive spot, and that Kuzuryuu has totry extremely hard to remain quiet.

#ask #kuzuhina #hinata hajime #kuzuryuu fuyuhiko #sdr2 #dangan ronpa #danganronpa #super dangan ronpa 2 #anonymous #my writing #tumblr fic

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lazytacomoon-blog · 7 years ago

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I have a question about business insurance?

"I have a question about business insurance?

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I was in a car accident where the other driver admitted it was her fault, and i had a witness - as well as the officer saying it was my right away. However, I did not have insurance.. I assumed I was still under my parents name but my dad took me off their insurance a couple months ago. My car is totaled, and im in some pain ( nothing minor, just very sore )Where can I go from here? is my only option to call a lawyer or can i directly go to her insurance? all i want is a rental for the time being and to get money to buy a new car ( so w.e money my totaled car was worth) i want to make this as easy and fast as possible which is why i dont want a laywer involved. is that basically my only choice though? Thanks""

What is the best health insurence to meet my needs?

Im starting out on my own 21 and need health care that's going to be affordable to me but be a good coverage. I have an eye syndrome called duane syndrome and I need surgery done. But I don't have the money up front. Im a janitor and don't know wat would be the best choice for me? My company is called GCA. But I hear there coverage isn't all that good.

When does car insurance lower for a guy?

I am 20 years old, I have been driving for the past 4 years with my parents cars. I pay through my parents for my insurance. I am looking to buy my own car and the insurance is only slightly lower than paying for what I have now! I looked at an 01 Ford Focus and it will cost my $1200 for 6 months! I also looked at a Ford Taurus it was about $900 for 6 months, a 97 Malibu is about the same as is a 97 Olds. The cheapest insurance I could find was a 94 Ford Ranger which is only $850 for 6 months. When does car insurance lower for a guy?""

""NYC drivers, is there a cheaper way to get Auto insurance?""

I hate the fact that we in NYC have to pay 5x more for auto insurance. I noticed some people have cheaper insurance, is there possibly a way to get cheaper insurance?""

Life insurance?

has anyone every heard of national benefit life insurance company of ny ny? i got this letter from them in the mail and im a bit scheptical of it... lemme know so i dont pour all this money into it and end up with nothing kthanks xoxo

Big car cheap insurance?

Can anyone suggest some large sized cars that are not high insurance. I'm very tall and need something comfortable but without a massive engine. I need comfort not speed. Plus I much prefer to drive bigger cars. I've looked at Audi's, BMW, Land rover, the usual suspects etc but all seem very high insurance. Even smaller engine BMW's and Audi's are high on insurance. Thanks!""

Behind The Wheel Driver's Test And No Insurance?

Ok so I live in California I'm going in for my behind the wheel drivers test on 8/17/09. My dad just bought a used car for me off a lot (July 31, 2009) to use and it's registered until July 2010. The problem is the car has no insurance. Well I found a quote for insurance online from Progressive for $114.00 down today for six months worth of insurance. Would that besufficientt for the test? I put myself down in the quote, but it's under my dad's name. The coverage only includes Bodily Injury & Damage Liability & Uninsured/Underinsured Motorist Bodily Injury. Is that good insurance? Also since the vehicle was just purchased if I don't have insurance yet could I still take it in for the test since there's a 30 day grace period to get insurance? Please any answers would be helpful. Time is of the essence.""

Renters insurance in California?

What does renters insurance cover? I'm renting a room from a friend but want my own insurance to cover personal injury without using the homeowner's coverage as well as if something gets accidently damaged by me for it to be covered. Is this included in renters insurance?

Good used sports car that won't jack up my insurance?

I am 17 and getting my license in november and I want to buy sports car (ex:mustang) that won't jack up my insurance, and won't break down all the time, my budget is about 12,000. Any recommendations?""

Health insurance bills?

I asked a question about if health insurance companys bill you but I want to make this clear....so if I meat my deductible the only thing I have to do is pay the copay and I don't get anything in the mail from the insurance company but I can get a bill from the Dr or hospital that my insurance Didnt pay for?

""Will my car get tow,i change the insurance to my father name.?""

I financed a car and all the paperwork is under my name,but i change the insurance under my father name.now i received a letter saying i don't have insurance,and i told them is under my father name.they want me to change it in my name,but i don't want to.if i put my name in the insurance it will be high. can i leave it under his name,or put my name in it.""

I need cheap car insurance?

Is burial life insurance different from final expense life insurance?

My mom has been wanting to buy burial life insurance but is confused about the terms she sees online. She says she keeps seeing the term final expense life insurance on some of the websites. Can someone explain what the difference in these two terms is?

""What is the cheapest car insurance in los angeles, ca?""

What is the cheapest car insurance in los angeles, ca?""

Is it possible for me to get car insurance just for the summer?

I got my drivers insurance early last year, and since I'm now I'm away at college, my parents cancelled my insurance. Now that school's almost over, is it possible for me to re-activate it for approximately 3 months? Thanks! :)""

Driver Education/Insurance Rate Information?

For my Driver Education class, one of the assignments goes as follows: Call a local vehicle insurance company and ask if you can take a few minutes to ask some questions. Ask what the insurance rates will be for you when you are ready to drive. Also, ask what the rates would be for someone your age who is not taking any driver education classes. What will the rates be when you are 25 years old? What are they for a person without driver education? What are they for someone convicted of driving while intoxicated? If anyone could spare me the phone call, it would be greatly appreciated.""

CheapEST foreign cars to maintain? (Audi / Lexus / Volvo / Volkswagen )?

Which of these cars is cheapest to maintain? (Oil changes, brakes, tune ups, insurance, etc) I realize they're all foreign and they'll all cost more than a Ford would. But which is cheapest? Which is most expensive? Please help! I need someone with experience! Thank you so much!""

How much will I pay for car insurance as a 17 year old in CA?

I am a 17 year old girl, who is going 2 get a nissan versa. I make about $600.00 a month at my job. My parents said they would get me the car. I have to make monthly payments, which would be $250. They have really good credit. How much would insurance cost? What is the best deal I can get? What company should I go to?""

Need help with car & insurance (Just starting out)?

So I am 18 and want to move out of my mother's house because of reasons I shouldn't mention. Not because I am some spoiled teen looking to do what ever I want. But are you willing to help me? My question is: How do I get my liecense with out limited insurance or a car? How do I get insurance without a liecense or a car? How do I get a car without a liecense or insurance? This is the vicous cicle D: How can a new adult jump out into the world when my mother isn't willing to help me? I have a stable income. I just need some advice.

I have juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and no insurance?

Is there any doctor of Rheumatologists in Las Vegas that accept cash payments for people who have no insurance?

Which make of cars are cheap to insure?

I'm planning on getting a new car but which car manufacturers make cars that are cheap on insurance? It seems Honda is on the higher side, but I was looking at Mitsubishi and theirs seems pretty low, and Mitsu is the one I was going to go with to begin with. Any suggestions? Assume it's just a normal non-sports car.""

Can i put my car under my dad's name to have cheaper insurance?

if do, why insurance company do that, they should have known that this second car is for customers' child""

How much would insurance be on a red 2001 Toyota Celica?

http://autos.yahoo.com/used-cars/toyota-celica-cars135552689;_ylt=AkwAdUBozMXShhqd.AL.Qh34XY54;_ylv=3?sortcol=price&sortdir=up&location=Boiling%20Springs,%20NC%2028017&listingtype=used&model=celica&make=toyota&distance=50 heres the link to the specific car and also i am a 16 year old male living in NC and my parents have state farm (if that helps)""

Who can suggest an affordable Health Insurance Company in California???

Need to find afforadble health care and fast...

I have a question about business insurance?

Whom has the cheapest car insurance?

asking for my sister's boyfriend as his just went up very high in price and he is not too happy about it and looking for another ..thanks..

Are there any crotch rockets or street bikes in which i could get cheap insurance for?

Wondering about maternity insurance?

okay I dont have maternity insurance. My insurance will only cover me if I have complications. Is this what most people have? or do you have an insurance that covers maternity? I am asking because we are trying to have a child and I am losing my mond trying to find a good insurance co. What and whom do you recommend and why? and say I got the insurance in a month for maternity coverage will it cover me right away if I get pregnant in 2 months or etc or do I have to wait a full year to have the insurance and than be covered? Cause thats what I have been hearing.. ANY help would be great!!! thanks!!! ttc#1 on 8th month trying!!!

Health Insurance for new born after job loss....?

Situation... We had a new born almost three months ago. She was on my wifes insurance while she was on maternity leave. Now she (my wife) will only be going back to work part time ...show more

Has anyone heard of this car insurance company?

I'm trying to find this insurance company but it has a really vague name. It's called Ca. Auto Liab. It's on a California Highway Patrol accident report and they said it was a real company. I need to find their phone number and/or website. Has anyone came across this company?

Do I need insurance to drive my girlfriend's car?

I'm turning in my leased car next week and canceling the insurance on it. I plan on using my girlfriend's car for a couple of months before getting a new one. I know there are a variety of coverages, but generally speaking would her policy cover me driving her car despite me not having any car insurance of my own?""

Bike Insurance?

I am looking to buy either a 250cc or 500cc Ninja bike. What are the insurance rate like for these bike compared to other bike and compared to cars?

NY Full Coverage Insurance Rates?

How much is full coverage on any plan for a new driver?

I was hit by a car. Which insurances should be reported?

Okay... I was driving my parents car to work. I am 19. No tickets or crashes since I was 15 and a half. I was rear ended when I stopped for an ambulance. My parents have insurance on that car, but I am not on their policy. I did have my mother's permission to use the vehicle. I have my own liability insurance but on a car that I sold several months ago. I maintained that insurance just in case anything happened. The woman that hit me immediately admitted blame. She also admitted blame to the officer that came out to see us. In fact, she cut him off to admit blame. I hope I am good to go as far as any sort of payment for damages. I understand if I get ticketed for not being on their policy... I just don't want to have to pay for my parent's car out of pocket, I can't afford that. Do all three party's insurances need to be reported? My dad is trying to tell me that my insurance is the only one that needs be reported as well as the woman's that hit me. I disagree. I think that all three need to be - but he's older and wiser than me. I think he just doesn't want his rate to increase so he's trying to make me call the woman and tell her to not report their insurance. Fml, i'm confused. thanks.""

""Affordable travel insurance, Tesco or Asda?

Thank you

Getting a ticket for no insurance?

how much does it cost for getting a ticket for no insurance in california ?

Insurance for a 350z on Parents plan?

Hey there so when i turn 18, im buying a 2003 nissan 350z with my own money. Right now im 17 and have been driving an old civic for almost the past 2 years and have never gotten in an accident or ticket (not that that lowers the insurance at all) and have the good student discount. so i followed the rule of thumb to buying a car thats okay to beat up when you first start driving. anyways, ive been looking for a lot of answers to my question, but all of the people asking it seem to be paying for theyre own insurance. Im on my parents plan, and when i buy the car its going to be put under my dads name (he is 52 and is a teacher btw if that matters). Both my parents are extremely responsible drivers, so im assuming their insurance rate wont be as high as if the car was in my name. the one issue with this car is how much insurance is going to be exactly. I looked for a quote on progressive, and im almost positive it cant be right. when i typed in the insurance cost for my 2003 civic with me paying it myself, it was only like $10 cheaper per month than a 350z, which like i said seems somewhat off. anyways, does anyone that went through buying a sports car when they were 18 with kinda the same thing have any answers for me? or even if you just know insurance well i just want to know. My parents would be okay with insurance going up some, but not astronomically high (like people were saying a couple thousand a year). ive asked them if they can talk to our agent (we are insured with PEMCO), but they keep saying theyll do it later. anyways, sorry for the long question. but any answers would help! Thanks!""

Health Insurance question?

Do any one know a insurance in California that cover pre-existing condition? I am eighteen year old with no insurance still living with my parent which have no health insurance. We had medical but it expired. I have heart problem the doctor said i need to get insurance that cover pre-existing condition. I have try getting quotes online. Or know any good insurance i should try giving a call to.

What exactly is affordable health care premium?

To me that means everyone pays $100.00 per month Is that what it means?

How much would car insurance be for a new driver and a crappy car?

I got my liscense 2 months ago and have been saving for a cheap car on Craigslist; around $1500. I need to know how much I would have to pay annually for car insurance for like a mid-90's, 150K miles Nissan/Volvo.""

California Auto Insurance Cancellation?

How soon after an insurance company cancels an auto policy for non-payment will they report that cancellation to the dmv? I understand the electronic notification, but how quickly will the insurance company actually notify the dmv that the party is no longer covered? I have yet to receive a notification from dmv and my policy was cancelled 2 months ago. Unfortunately, I was involved in an accident (my fault) and although I provided a copy of my policy info, I found out later that I was not covered at the time of the accident. I had the policy Rewritten the day after the accident (a different policy number). The other party reported it to their insurance, although we agreed to settle with cash & no insurance. They are requesting me to file an SR1 file. What do I do? The info I provided had good dates of coverage on it but I found out later that my policy had lapsed. Do I submit an SR1 with the old info or new info? Will my license be suspended now??? IM DESPERATE!""

Car Insurance in a different state?

Hello and thanks for all the answers! I have my car insurance in nyc on my name, I am 22 and its 3200 per year. I have been told that I can somehow have it in another state even though I dont live there. Do I need to open a mailbox there or how does it work? What will hapen if I get a traffic ticket here? Thanks!""

When will my motorcycle insurance go down?

I am 19 years old and I am on my second year of riding. I have no tickets or accidents (thank God) and I am still paying over $1,000 a year in insurance for my 250cc bike (2009 Kawasaki Ninja 250r).I have done some shopping and this is the lowest price. Allstate wanted $6,000, freakin unbelievable. I just wanna know when it will go down. Thx.""

""Insurance, What is Short Term insurance?""

What is a short term insurance? and if its what iam guessing it is like an insurance for a month,m can i renew it every month? I've seen this insurance company called Callingwood, and it says short term insurance which means that i pay 140 for a month worth of insurance, can i keep on renewing it every month? or is short term insurance not like?""

Is it possible to get affordable car insurance?

How can I get affordable car insurance without really sacrificing the kind of coverage that I get? I just want to be able to pay less for my car insurance buy still get good quality.

Do I have to pay higher car insurance if I buy a second car?

I have a Chevy Cobalt and have insurance for it. If I want to buy a used truck also so I have two vehicles, do I have to pay higher car insurance costs? Do I need to get a second policy for the truck?""

What are the average car insurance rates in California?

More specifically, if you live in California, how much do you pay? I'm buying insurance for the first time and I want to get the most basic coverage at the cheapest rate.""

How do i get my commercial insurance license?

i am on the road becoming a insurance agent and i want all the insurance licenses possible, but i can't find any places that give commercial insurance license.""

Isn't the expected value of health insurance for a healthy purpose going to be highly negative?

And so, it might be unwise for a healthy person to purchase health insurance on the individual open market? First, we have the insurance companies as a profit-taking industry. They exist to make money. So obviously they take in more premiums than they pay out for medical expenses. Right off the bat, we have a negative expected value for the buyers of health insurance. In other words, you should expect that the premiums you pay to the health insurance company will be more than the benefits you get back, on average. But on top of that, for a HEALTHY person, the difference would be even greater. Since your risk is grouped together with the risk of more unhealthy people (obese, smokers, etc), you're basically subsidizing their insurance. So the difference between your premiums and the expected benefits you get back is even more. It seems like a very fit, health-conscious person is really taking it on the chin by buying health insurance in the individual market. Maybe they'd often be better off by just building up a health savings account and self-insuring?""

Auto Insurance Question/Teen Driver?

Our teen is about to get his learner's permit. At what point am I obligated to notify my auto insurance company that our son is now a driver.....when he gets his learner's permit or when he gets his actual driver's license? I'm wondering at what point my rates will increase as a result of needing to insure my son. The state is Vermont. Thanks!

I have a question about business insurance?

Can you drive your parents' car without insurance?

Im 17 years old , I live in California and my parents have AAA insurance and I have my Driver's license. is it true that you need permission from them in order to drive?""

Can I ride my motorcycle with just a bill of sale and insurance?

Hey I just bought a 2004 r6 and I live in georgia. I bought it from alabama and the old owner is mailing me the title in a couplle of weeks but I'm wondering, if I have a bill of sale and proof of insurance can I go ahead and ride the bike??""

SR-22 insurance in Massachusetts?

I have a friend whose license was suspended in Rhode Island 6 years ago for failure to pay tickets. He went and paid them all and RI is requesting he purchases SR-22 insurance. He currently lives in MA and we don't have SR-22 insurance in MA. Any help on where to go from here?

Can I move to nevada and keep California auto insurance for 6 months?

I am considering moving to las vegas area and would like to know how long I can live there and keep my CA drivers license, CA registration, and CA auto insurance.""

Are SUV's usually high in insurance for teens?

I've been told that I should wait a little longer before i can get a faster car, and I was just wondering whether insurance for an suv would be high, in my case, for an inexperienced driver, (16). Parents are thinking of buying an Fj cruiser and willing to give it to me when i get my liscense.""

How much will my car insurance cost?

im 16 right now and ill be getting my license in couple months and ill be 17 by the time i get my license. im thinking of getting a used Lexus Es 300 1995~2001 that are under $5000. how much will my insurance cost per 6 months? or year?

I do not have any health insurance. Where can I find a psychiatrist to talk to in VA that is affordable?

Help with finding a good honest health insurance provider?

I am a college student looking for affordable insurance with decent coverage. (it's like a needle in a haystack, I know) I don't have any major health problems, so that wouldn't be an issue. I'm already looking into state regulated programs, but I was wondering what privately owned companies might have to offer. What companies have you had a good personal experience with? Or what companies have given you the run-around? What companies should I avoid? P.s. I live in central minnesota if that makes a difference.""

Florida's Insurance policy on new drivers?

Once a 16 year old gets their first drivers license is it required by law that they are immediately added to the parents insurance if they dont own a car yet? If so how much will it most likely cost with Geico insurance?

Jeep Tracker - About how much will insurance cost?

I'm 16 years old and I will be getting the Jeep tracker after I take drivers training. I live in Alberta and I am buying the car for about $1500. Any help would be great!

Will my insurance go up?

I live in California. Here, the driver is responsible for the ticket and not the owner. My bf is 19 and im 18, and he drives very well but does have license because he uses his bike. He drove my car and got two tickets because he did not have his headlights on and a misdemeanor for an unlicensed driver. I read that my bf will have to pay $25 if he gets his license before court and $230 for no light. I was wondering will my insurance go up? and will my dad be notified?""

Where can I buy the most affordable business liability insurance?

Hi there, I have a very small start up business and I am in need of liability insurance for a business. Does anyone know a good cheap company to use?""

What kind of insurance do you need?

can a black cab be driven on a normal insurance or do you need a different insurance to drive it .

""I totaled my car, do i need gap insurance for them to pay off the vehicle?

i have totaled my car and i have full coverage. will my insurance company pay off my vehicle?

Non owners policy insurance in CA?

i'll be using my parents' car, which is in IN, in california, it already has insurance, but i'll be going to CA and probably stay there for some time (around a year) and use their car, im 18. So does buying a non owners policy insurance save me, since they will still pay for regular insurance on car plus the non owner that i'll purchase? any advice? since if i'll buy my own policy the numbers are 500/mo or more. So im thinking if i buy a non owners insurance lets say at 1200/yr, plus their regular coverage it'll save some money. any advice will be greatly appreciated or it is illegal?""

Can you get your license in California without buying insurance right away?

I have had my permit since last June and have taken two behind the wheel lessons. My mom just told me that she cant get me my license because of the cost of insurance. I was wondering ...show more

""If my mom adds me onto her car insurance, about how much would it go up?""

I'm 17 Shes with GEICO Its a Buick Rendezvous SUV (2004) Our zip is 33312 (South florida, if this helps for those answering that may be in my area) I have a clean record B Average in school""

Car insurance?

i cancelled my car insurance which i pay by installments i paid 75 at the beginnning and monthly premiums of 67 i cancelled the other day and on the phone they said i might have to pay a cancellation fee 45 as this is standard if your policy is not finished now they have calculated that i have to pay85 this is more than a months payment doe anybody know anything about these things and will i have to pay thanks

What is the cost of an insurance for a 250 cc scooter? (Louisiana)?

I know that there are many options, but a vague answer is fine. I just want to know if it will be around 100$ or 500$.""

What happens if you get pulled over and get a ticket for no insurance?

OK so I just got pulled over this morning for not having any insurance and I had no idea I did not have it. For one the car is not mine its my boyfriends and for two his mom was the one that had insurance on it and dropped it without telling me, so I had no idea. I just went and got insurance on it like an hour after I got the ticket, so will the ticket be dismissed, if not what will happen and how much will this all cost?""

How much will it cost to insure a new amusement park?

Any affordable life insurance policies?

41 yrs old now and considering shopping for a life ins policy in the event that something were to happen to me I would want wife and son to be left with a little something to care for house payoff maybe and other things. Nothing crazy but I just want them to have a cushion in case. Any thoughts??

Can an employer charge women employees more for health insurance than men employees in a group plan?

I was offered a job and I asked to review the companies health insurance information prior to accepting the job. I found out that for their group insurance it's broken down by age and gender. A man my age's employee contribution monthly would be $140 cheaper per month than mine just based on gender and not taking any lifestyle choices into consideration. Everything about this screams lawsuit to me but I've found some differing information on this. With the Affordable Care Act Gender rating is not allowed in the individual market but it does nothing to ban this practice in the group setting from what I've found. Thoughts? Ideas? I've turned down employment with this company based on my personal beliefs.

""Hit another car, they have no insurance?""

I was turning left from a stop sign and hit into another car (checked both ways, had some parked cars blocking view but I inched forward to check before driving.) My car only has minor scrapes, his car has a broken headlight and some bumper damage. However, he told me at the time he has no insurance and wanted me to just give him cash on the street. I told him no, I would not pay anything unless we called the police which he did not want to do since he has no insurance. I am fully insured. We ended up both just leaving and I have his license plate number, name, and phone number. He has my license plate number only. Without insurance, can he try to get any money from me? Just wondering if anything should be expected of this situation...""

Car insurance cheapest provider?

I'm under 25 and ive got a ford focus st,am paying 170 a month for insurance just wanted to know if anyone knew a cheaper company.im with elephant insurance""

I have a question about business insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/someone-kicked-car-left-lage-dent-my-insurance-company-janice-stone"

0 notes

astraltraveller · 7 years ago

Text

Learning after November 2016

There have been 4 instances after November. In those times, I realized a few things.

PK wanted to date and continued to message for a while and continues to, almost a year later. I’m not sure what he expects of me when I do. I will still be single at that time but I just don’t really get what he wants from this if I really don’t see myself dating him. The interesting thing is that he really did want to date, asap, even knowing that he was a rebound. And still does.

CJ has always been into me and has always made it clear, even when I wasn’t single. The narrative only became more intense after the breakup actually happened. Multiple hangouts, kissing the first time and more the second. Made it clear that if he wasn’t going to HK, that he would date. Someone he could envision spending you know, a long time together. Liking how I argue and knows how to do it.

AF is someone that I was genuinely into enough when we first started talking. Enough that I started to look forward to seeing him at the gym and liking his invitation for “coffee”. Liking that he was moving things slowly at a gradual pace, not unlike G, who was much too blunt and fast. I liked that he was engaged, and had a different kind of maturity. No weird mocking or tone at that time. I liked that he was interested in what I did and was never over the top. Just all around polite, not cringe, and seemed seasoned. After the drinks, I was interested. The first was at Duke and Devon outside. . Said I left with a cold hug, but to be fair, I wasn’t sure if this was where things were going. the second was also at Mengrai, followed by a walk at the park, the same one with AP. It was fun and we talked about personal things, but somehow I didn’t like being so close to him physically. It started with some leg stroking very lightly. There was some handholding that was oh-so-awkward... clearly I wasn’t into it the way I think he was expecting. We weren’t even holding hands properly. It felt clinical. I was horny but not enough to want to actually engage... would have liked to take it slower, beer or not. Then he went in for the kiss which I admit was exciting and where I had been interested in seeing it go, but not sure if I actually wanted to be the one experiencing it. It was nice. But this guy was clearly all over me and standing over me all strange in public at the park bench. I’m not sure how I felt about it. The walk back to union was the first indication of his fetishes. not sure how I felt about it. Not good. was a bit turned off and confused that he was looking for something too soon. The next times at gym, it was talk of the fondling and what happened, but i didn’t feel sparks the way I had wanted to. There was slight mentioning of “his place” but I wasn’t quite sure about it. The next time we met, it was Gioranna’s with half a bottle of wine, the car fiasco, and as i was in my patch escapade, it was all above the waist downstairs. Then was that fight later that night, which to me, was more than anything an indication of me testing his limits and also preventing whatever what was happening from going too much further. It ended in the car with me saying that this whole situation was nothing like I had been through before. A passed wife, him being 18 years my senior, moving so quickly, a different kind of experience. A bit too much detail on his fetishes. Next was Kalyvia, where things happened. I liked it. I will admit that I was so, so satisifed and couldn’t stop thinking about it, was definitely rare for what it was and with who it was. There were other days of drinks after gym, but already at this point I realized it was just lust for what was fun. I will admit that I was still at least slightly uncertain about my feelings about him. The more time I spent, the more I realized it was purely physical. The emotioanl connection was dwindling fast - it was always talking about what we had done and what we would do next and what he liked, but I was uncomfrotable with PDA, kissing, holding hands in public, etc. I was not dating him. “I’m not in a position to date” is what I have been saying for the past while. That is not true. I am ready to date. Whether it’s getting back with my ex or committing to someone new, I am ready but whatever is next will likely not be my last relationship. I’m a baby. But what I truly meant is “I don’t want to date you, but i want to spare your feelings so I will tell you that I don’t want to date *anyone* because life is not right for it”. But how can that be? 1. If you care enough about someone and you don’t want to lose them to someone else, you will want to date them. 2. I’ve been told this recently and I know what a load of bullshit it is. It’s a cop-out. The more you insist, the less I believe that you are being “honest”. Regardless. After that experience, it got to the point where I would find a lot of our interactions cringey. I hated his mocking, childish chiding tone about “working out together”, “cinderella, call me cin”, and a bunch of other crap I uncovered when I took his offer to stay over at his place for what reason, I don’t know. I regretted the decision more and more as I got through the day. And by the time it was time for dinner and we started talking about sports, I was seriously dreading how much longer it was until it was time to go home. I couldn’t wait for an early morning because I could leave him sooner. It was the first time I felt, this is what it must feel like to be sleeping with someone or spending nights with someone you just absolutely abhor. It’s an awful feeling and one would always choose to be alone if they could. I hate how he argues. He does a terrible, terrible job at it and is way too defensive. Saying things like “I knew that” when I said I don’t like beaches, then saying “actually I didn’t”.... “I knew that” was his first jump to defensiveness when it’s time for him to face something he iddn’t know. and that discussion about the bell curve? not my first time either. and you know what else is cringe? when he goes on and on and on about the finance language. it’s classic, the ones who know the least and like the image of knowing about finance/their specialty (ie. crystal savin) and show it off as an accessory, are the ones who are the most vocal about certain acronyms because they don’t have the internal confidence in their own knowledge. I ihated him dropping those acronyms or, like that night I spent over, me saying “opportunity” or “intrinsic” suddenly meant “opportunity cost” or “intrinsic value”. I absolutely hate it when people have to go out of their way to flaunt some kind of feature and try to hard. If you are smart, it will speak for itself. As will wealth, which will come through in class and in how you carry yourself, not in what you carry or what you say. I absolutely hate every time he does that, and I cannot imagine who will not be able to see through it. Everyone will. It is so cringe and exactly what I dn’t like, and it’s so sad that it came out after we had a chance to talk more. The night over was one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life. The first round was alright, a mini version of the previous. But I was just not in the mood for more and I was absolutely revolted at his attitude during the dinner and while at his place. The part where he talked about his passed mother and brother were more scary than anything, which is why I sat up and listened in the dead of the night. The next morning, I was already uncomfortable enough and then it became something worse. I hate his poorly hemmed and tailored pants and shirt - this has shattered my perception of people working in the financial district as people who are all equally seasoned. Then his need to say that the coffee was greek and therefore that meant it was strong. And him making this freaking loud conversation on the train at 8:30 in the morning in the lower level where everyone is slseeping, saying vocally what I do when i’m sleeping, saying how many job opportunities he gets offered through linkedin that end up in his spam - you think you’re special? - and still using freaking hotmail! I felt so uncomfortable that night and honestly I didn’t want to even look at him the rest of the way. oh god, andh im bragging while we were waiting for the train at danforth go that he used to jump into the tracks for fun, using “being drunk” as an excuse, and then saying that he used to “Be a badass”. I just... that doesn’t make you a badass, and being drunk when doing shit like that is not something you should be proud off. I texted later because I felt bad knowing that he did let me stay over, paid for half the dinner, and did confide in me wiht some very personal things... but no more. no more dinners, no more drinks, and absolutely heck NO MORE NIGHTS STAYING OVER. sex? maybe. I don’t know. but it’s a mental turn off to an extent so sudden and so repulsing for me that i honestly don’t see myself getting drawn to this and paying the price of some time just for (honestly) the biggest I’ve had. and I like that it was very, very, very involved, experience, and pleasure-centered for me.

Also, “Bristol Board”? I can’t believe I didn’t remember how annoying that was before I really confirmed staying over.

VG: this one’s a weird one. im not sure how to describe how i feel about this iether becuase it was just a few days ago and it was jarring. as i said, every guy ive ever been intimate with has etiher full on dated me or had expressed interest in dating me (PK, AF) or has told me that if they weren’t moving halfway across the world (CJ), would date, that they have always wanted, and that they can imagine a future being a petty lil couple. im just gonna say what comes to mind becuase i dont have an analysis on exactly wher ethis is going or what exactly happened. i also think the entire sitaution is been very cryptic and that i am possibly at fault for trying to see what wasnt there. its not esperation because i dont need to be with someone. how i would describe it is that we had intriguigin conversations many times over the course of a few months. we exchanged stories about sex, relatoinships, and the parat that strikes me is when he was talking about this one girl (russian?) who thought that was into her but it wasn’t really that way. did i become taht person? the hard part, is do you really invite people for drinks twice that you aren’t intersted in knowing more about? it’s ok if we are just frinds, but is that really what we are? i would not accept drinks iwht someon iwasn’t into. i wouldn’t hug someone after drinks that iwasn’t into. i woudln’t ask for a second time. l wouldn’t message them regularly or try to talk to them everyday that i see them. andi most defintiely wouldnt talk about bringing them over for drinks if i didnt want to spend time with them one on one in my place. i used to be the pedantic googler who would check every site adn figure out “WHY DID HE DO THIS WHAT DOES IT MEAN?” but really it seems to be that this is all some kind of strange ruse. none of it is real. in hidnsight i should have googled “what does it mean when a guy invites you over to his place for drinks alone one-on-one”? is that really platonic? if it is, then why doesn’t it feel platonic? why am i not doing that with all my male friends, and why, when that has hapened, has there been some sort of interest (if only them towards me?) i felt trickd and hurt when that happened. i dont want to go over the top and dig out high school me, but things were not always completely non-indicative in the office. nor were they non-indicative the first time we did something outside, which was sin and redemption or some white bar. which i didnt let go to my head, because that was normal until the vanilla comment at which i regret making, and which was totally platonic anyway because he had some coffee thing after. the second time was the sangria at that sapnish place, where that was a very long chat. he could tell that lester liked me becuase we had talked for hours on end and clealry enjoyed each other’s company, but of cousre suddenly when VG does the same, what is it? you tell me. it was interesting that day aftewrads at the starbucks, and the short thing after saying something about hosting. (before that time, i asked to ramen). then the time after that was at the canaidan very very very whtie bar then impromptu pub crawl to c’est what, and that’s when things go interesting in terms of sex talk and talking deper about stuff that wasnt quite talked about. and that time in the dog park? bzcercy? wtf was that? it was so strange. that was the first indication to me that i might be on the right track, but im starting to feel like it was an undeserved mirage. then were hte messages aafter, which yes ufture me u can go back and read them in all hteir glory. then there was that banter about hosting, which ended up happening, and i was thrilled.

day of, 2pm,some bday thing, “just remembered”, “going till midnight” hahaohahahoahoahaohoa. at this pont, i was displeasured. i was expecting, on guard the whole time, knowing that this was a very certain possibility. and it happened, and i thought maybe this guy was differnet. maybe it’s not what i thought. but you know what all those sites say? when someone has plans after that are more important, it’s becuase you aren’t important. and you should be careful.

4:20pm, how funny now that i actually read that. maybe i should be wary and avoid events that involve 420. a bottle of wine later, i realize that things started taking a downturn the second that they moved to the coach. why the FUCK did you move close to me, and why were you so open to me in the positions i was in, if that was not the intention? a one-night stand? a fuckbuddy? why chase after someone just to let them go? fo rsome reason, which i forgot (alcohol really does do things to your memory) - the conversation got to a point where i moved over and things started. i dont know why. and then i offered to move to the room because, well, most people don’t do this stuff in full view? why did you agree to it? why let me do it? why be in that position? why so into it?

8pm, i realize this was a mistake. i realize he was like all the other guys. problem areas: “would never bring you up again” - not that i want to be up there again. but why? do you have foresight? in what world is bringing up a girl that you have shown previous interest in (ASSUMED, MAY BE INCORRECT.!.!) is supposed to be a chill way to chat? did i read something wrong? you nei ther want to date nor be fuckbuddies, and after tha time i realized that i would never want to date this person in the near future. having a convesration about dating should not be pulling teeth. and there is no worse feeling than knowing that you are in a relationship because someone wnated it more than the other. and when they dont make a move to hide it.

was i emotional because i drank? i dont think so. i was actually gutted. i knew it in my heart of hearts. i knew it because i had just went through one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life with AF thati kn ew i would need afew days to recover from, and i was running confused in all these directions to and from my ex. i realized and showed my ex that i missed his company, misssed how he made me feel, how he was one person i felt fully comfortable with, missed how he didnt make me cringe, didnt make obnoxious music bopping moves with his hands, - no AF - i did not like “hanging out with you” because you had young tendenceis and nonstop talked about freaking “UNDERGROUND” rap artists and 70s rock people. I had just come off such a low that i didn’t disclose to anyone - feltl ike the first time i had a true walk of shame and true disgust at a person when i left AF - that i felt like i went throug something traumatic that i had sadly vountarily put myself through. and i wanted something to mend it, something to show me it was ok, like my ex. but that’s been happening for the past while. and i think maybe a part oaf me hoped that VG would be a solution, something mending for that. i think that contriuted to me being emotional. but i know that it wasnt completely uprooted jus because of AF. I was uprooted and just thrown for a loop because of the realization of what hapened. i dont remember what happened beween the bedroom and the couch and the leaving but i do remember vividly realizing what an awful mistake i had made. and i couldnt blame anyone, just like when i bite my tongue.

“do what you think feels right to you” is the most powerful way you can see someone’strue colours. i had never ever ever cried after sex with someone or spending intimate time with someone for the first time. not with SN, definitey not with PK - iwas over the moon, CJ was a big aha moment and realization of what could have been but the parting felt right, AF was really quite incredible. i think it was his aloofness and actually feeling like crashing down after someone lets you on. dont get me wrong, im a changed person after PK because i raelize that it’s totally possible to be so physically staissfied by someone but so emotionally detached and uninteresed... which was the case for PK and AF, but especially so for AF because of the pseudo-intellectual nature - which is my biggest pet peeve. i dont need to be with someone just because i fuck them. i guarantee that to you. sexual and emotional attraction are two separate things. so that’s how i know deep down that this is not the old undergrad innocent me believing that anytime i engage in something clsoe-knit --- that that must mean im all over the person and need to stick with them. i think this was something different b ecause i really thought he was different. and body language doesn’t lie. but i dont trust body language anymore, not in its ability to say the truth, but in its ability to be the truth and the first line of offense for someone’s decisiosn and choices. i dont know what hte apology or uber serious message is supposed to mean or be about, and i think i spent about 30 seconds seriously thinking about it before just considering it as wiping up some dank mess. but what i learned from this guy, who somehow managed to hurt me more quickly than anyone else ive been with, but yet i could imagine being with, is nto to take people’s actions at face value. all the sites are wrong. do not open yourself up. be careful. look at the people who have been pining after you for a year, trying their damnest to get you back, people who don’t see your message and ignore, people who apologize for a late message, people who don’t bring up a joke that was ignored yesterday with a tardy response, people who when its’ convenient, strike up a conversation and reply reliably over fb (or not). i was about to say that i dont doubt that he’s a good person, but im suddenly apprehensive. i think he is mature. but i dont think that the game that was played was ever in my favor if i had known this was the endgame.

i dont uuslaly write things like this. but a lot has happened over the past year, but particularly over the past 4 months ish, and i would also say over the past 4 weeks. and i want to forget a lot of it. but first i have to put it down, let it all out, trust in myself - the same way i really put a dream to rest once the key words are down - that once this is all said and done, literally, that i make peace with myself.

i guess my body knew, so i downed all that wine. i want to forget a lot of it because it reminds me that i cnanot always be in control, and that everyone has their own hidden agenda. i played the game with AF and got played by VG. even if that wasn’t their intnetion, i felt like i got a taste of my own medicine somehow, even though -- as i type this -- it still doesn’t make total sense becasue i don’t do the invitingfor drinks. I get invited. I guess sometimes yo utake the plunge and are honest, and when you go for it, it’s not what you want. which, for some reason, losing whtaever as a friend or whatever this shit is really sad, but i also feel like iSHOULD have been sadder for what happened. if high school self read this, i’d be mortified at myself and i would cry buckets of tears on my behalf. but this hurt less than it should have. i think the first few hours really sucked. i was in my own world on the subway. and then i think somehow things just settled in once i had a chacne to talk with SN. and when i realized that guys are 27, still growing up, still learning. i ca’nt fault them. i’m learning myself too. i can just hope i dont cause the same mixed sense, mixed signal, shot in the dark, russian roulette kind of damage i dont think i deserve.

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