#do we really believe andrew is a twink

[plasterhand]

If I see one more video that has the "name a more iconic duo than a twink and a redhead" audio and it's Andrew and Neil I'll punch a hole through a wall. Because either I don't know what a twink is anymore or we're reading different books because in what universe is the Andrew Joseph Minyard a TWINK.

[gayskogul]

Well, I hope you don't mind but I would like all your thoughts on the Charlot/priest incident in The Charioteer. In particular, is it the beginning of the end for Laurie and Andrew, or a sign that their relationship is actually growing in strength?

Thanks for the ask! I do enjoy these excuses to go back and read this book. So! I went into this remembering the scene as kind of a low point for those two and was reminded very rapidly of how brutal it was lol. Like yeah, Laurie's getting pissy at Andrew cause he is kinda being a useless. (To which I'm forced to say, yeah fair, but what are you expecting out of a 19 year old blond twink, laurie? They're not exactly known for their usefulness) Then he realises that one thing he's come to really love Andrew for (his tendency to slip into a quiet thoughtfulness) is not something he can rely on when times get Real - probably especially for a relationship. There's this bit in my notes where I went fully stream of consciousness mid-sentence that made me laugh my ass off:

Much of this chapter has Andrew hurrying out of the room back and forth from somewhere else, the nurse, the laundry, whatever. I think this absence really gets to Laurie.

And then we get to the meat of the scene, where Laurie wants Andrew to impersonate the priest, since Charlot would recognise him if he tried to do it. It's a very… pragmatic idea, and rooted in compassion. All things very Laurie-core. But any semi-religious person would balk at the idea, I know my raised-catholic ass cocked a brow in surprise when I first read it. And unfortunately for Laurie, and perhaps Charlot depending on where you stand, Andrew is quite a bit more dedicated than just "semi". He declines, obviously.

Now, when Andrew starts standing up for himself and denying Laurie's frantic request to impersonate the priest (thrice! somebody fetch that rooster!) I was like… we're so back!! It's even stated how hot Laurie thinks Andrew is when he's putting his foot down like this. But I think the plaster's already been ripped off at this point, and Laurie's much too frustrated with Andrew. There's much difference between how the two are as people, and he's been quite forcefully shown that divide in this situation. He's already wished that Ralph was here in the scene like twice by now. That's where he's most comfortable: "Ralph would've understood."

After their row, Laurie does apologise but the damage is already done. Fwiw, I'm not very convinced by his apology, like I do think that he believed those things he said, he's just such a people pleaser that he wants Andrew to not be upset. Andrew's still hurt from all of that, though, despite saying, "It's alright" a couple of times. But he doesn't really know how to express it, so he goes for the o2 cylinder. There's some cool foreshadowing of Andrew doing violence with that. We're reminded how he's actually quite strong, and how he's said to be "attacking" the cylinder. And there's something Laurie sees on his face described as "something of a revelation", does Laurie see those latent impulses for violence there, which he can't express because of his beliefs? Ties in with the son of a soldier thing etc. Anyway, Charlot then goes unresponsive. Andrew leaves again, to get the nurse. When they're back, she scolds Laurie and orders him to bed - leaving him with no chance to talk things over with Andrew.

Now, the scene in the kitchen. On my first read through, I was so in shock from the kiss that I hadn't really absorbed what else was going on here: this reads like a breakup! This is such a breakup! Laurie's going away, the way it's worded… the vague promises of visiting again and staying in a farm nearby. The bittersweet reminiscing of the Mozart, which was originally what they thought was the oboe quartet, but Laurie misremembers it as a concerto. But then again, things have changed now, haven't they? That one line, "I've never known this place with you," gave me a head rush so strong I thought I had covid. And then he goes to call the Mozart piece, "One of those tunes that people have" [that they associate with a lover who's gotten away from them??], and I went visibly pale lol. And then that line about Dave moving to the east end, where the Blitz is in full swing? 'Does he have to do that?' 'He can go where he likes, he's years over military age. It's because of Cynthia, I know.' Andrew gave him a strange bewildered look and added, 'I know how he feels. No, that must sound stupid. I mean I--' Did he just compare Laurie moving away to Dave losing his spouse?? im gonna explode???

There's so much good stuff here, these two really are so sweet! It starts to feel like Andrew's coming around, he's almost ready to figure it all out, he's opening his heart to Laurie here. He trusts Laurie and only feels normal around him etc. And Laurie is even moved enough to kiss him, to enlighten him. Maybe it'd be a goodbye kiss, just like what Ralph did to him, all those years ago. Only, again, they're interrupted. It's not meant to be.

-- Random thots that i'm gluing onto the end:

There's a lot of this disconnectedness between the two that I've brought up before a hopeful laurie/andrew dreamer. They don't really get a chance to communicate here because Andrew has to go off and do things/get the nurse, and when they try to, they just end up fighting and not really resolving anything. Other things I noted down that tie into this theme - the line to the priest being cut, and no communication can get through, the nurse separating them, and then interrupting their kiss! Even Laurie's transfer kinda smoothly fits the idea on a larger scale.

Another thing I've brought up before is the whole "keeping Andrew in the dark" thing, which crops up here again. When they're talking about Ralph and what he'd did to get expelled in the kitchen, Laurie doesn't clue him in. Now obviously because it was quite the scandal, and he wanted to protect Ralph, but also he wanted to protect Andrew from learning about himself and not bring up anything gay! This is another of those times that people pulled the wool over his eyes.

Dont think I didn't notice Laurie purposefully avoiding sleep so that he can wait up in the dark just to get a chance to see Andrew, TWICE! That's my girl...!

A completely random thing to notice, but whatever, it's there. In this chapter, Charlot keeps getting these quite... animalistic descriptions in his appearance. His "thick chin", his "oxlike brown eyes," "blunt hands," "coarse, curly hair", (like a sheep? admittedly lots of reaching going on here), and his "animal state" giving Laurie the impression of "watching a dying dog". That last one of them is ALSO crazy because doesn't the wedding, where Laurie finds out about Gyp, happen after this chapter?????

[ma-lark-ey]

Okay so I gave up on the image thing but I do have some fun texts from my boyfriend from this chapter. And, I limited myself to TWO callouts of Neil's gay sexual tension

Chapter 6:

Her roommate Renee was a mystery...Nicky had called her the sweetheart of the team. Neil understood why as he listened to her talk. He had no idea how she qualified for the Foxes' halfway-house team.

I want to study Renee like a bug she's so interesting

"You take him straight there, you get me?" Nicky waved her off. "Have a little faith in a guy, Dan." "That's Renee's job, not mine. Mine is to make sure we start the year with ten working bodies." "It's not like we're going to kill him." "Kevin already tried," Matt pointed out.

The Foxes' dynamic is literally so sibling coded, it's adorable. They're adorable.

"My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.

Brit-French beef is never not funny to me. Like it's so. I cant even explain but it's so funny.

"Believe this, Neil: you can't put a leash on me. Don't think you can, okay? And don't be stupid enough to tell other people you will. It's not safe. You'll make me want to break you." "You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do." "I know for sure she never did," Andrew said. "Well, she had to take offense to the dying part, but I thought that was rather fun. But you're right." He slapped the heel of his palm against his temple as if something obvious had just occurred to him. "I do as I please. Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday."

As promised, my baby’s commentary;

he gets it. (for context earlier I sent something Neil said with something along the lines of 'you want him to bad you look stupid')

"If I go, promise me you'll never touch anything of mine ever again." "So possessive," Andrew said. "Of course I am," Neil said. "Everything I own fits in one bag." Andrew considered that, then answered with a mad grin. "Okay. One night with us, and no more break-ins. Friday night will be fun." Neil highly doubted that.

"Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.[1]

[1] I think about this conversation literally daily its so funny

"Maybe they'll get in a crash and won't make it," Nicky said hopefully. "Really, Nicky," Renee said. "That's a little inappropriate, don't you think?"

Take a shot every time Nicky cracks a joke about how he hopes Seth dies (impossible drinking game)

His mother's watchful eye noticed his lingering looks and increasing distraction. Afraid he'd spill their secrets over a childish crush, she beat him like she could kill his hormones with her bare hands. A few years of this violence and Neil finally got the hint: girls were too dangerous to consort with. [1]

[1] And now youre queer so howd that turn out. Bisexual little mess. real talk I want to kill your mother with my bear hands neil i think it'd fic you.

"Questions, comments, concerns? Anyone?" [Wymack said] Seth pointed at Neil and said angrily, "I'm fucking concerned—"

Coach cutting off Seth here is the comedic genius I came for. He's so funny. You threatened by a twink Seth??? By a TWINK??? okay...

"Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome." "The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth."[1] "Fuck you, faggot," Seth said. "I don't like that word," Andrew said. "Don't use it." "I would say 'fuck you, freak', but then you wouldn't know which one of you I was talking to."[2]

[1] OUT OF POCKET OUT OF POCKET OUT OF POCKET

[2] I would say I hope Seth dies a slow painful death but his death is actually quite dramatic

This time it was all teeth. Andrew's drugs made him manic,[1]

[1] I wanna know who’s bright idea that was. ‘ah yes, lets give the boy known for being unpredictable and violent a drug that makes him manic, aka, unpredictable an violent.’ JUST PUT THIS MAN ON WEED GOD GOD

"Look at me," Andrew said. Kevin turned a haunted look on him. "It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?"

"Why does Kevin trust Andrew?" Renee smiled. "Because he knows he can."

THIS.

Even if everything in Neil screamed at him to run, Neil couldn't do it, not after seeing that little show between Kevin and Andrew today. Maybe he was pathetic, or maybe he was too jealous to walk away. Maybe Neil just needed to understand. Why did Kevin always get more?

notes:

no big character thoughts on this chapter.

I'm back on my anti-Seth shit, and I will be back on my Nicky hater shit next chapter.

I've read through chapter eleven again at this point and plan to be completely through book one by the end of the day so expect a little bit of reblog spam to get through the other chapters.

I'm just holding Neil like a scruffed, drenched cat at this point and showing him to my boyfriend like an exhausted vet.

But hey!! Now all of the Foxes are here!!

I really like Dan and Matt :]] they're genuinely my favorites. Especially Matt. I ADORE Matt. He's just a guy!!

Lark Liveblogs Literature Part ???: All For The Game Series - Nora Sakavic

I'm doing something a little bit different with this one! In the business of full disclosure, I read TFC (and about a chapter of TRK) in April this year, decided "I can't mcfucking do this" and then gave up. And then didn't stop thinking about Neil Josten for the next eight months and now we're BACK. So, instead of properly 'liveblogging,' unlike most first-reads I do, I'm actually annotating this one because it's too good to NOT.

That means I have a customized (so totally legal mhm) word doc, highlight/unline privileges, and audacity.

Here's what I knew before I read back in April (stolen from my beta version of this post);

Andrew Minyard: Gay(?), funniest bitch alive if Tumblr brackets are to be trusted. Murderer? Has Boyfriend???

Sports. Maybe. Yes? sports.

Drugs are involved. Somehow.

Now, here's where I am going in now;

Ranking the Foxes goes; Neil, Aaron, Dan, Kevin, Andrew, Renee, Matt, Nicky

I have no idea how exy works, I do don't plan on figuring it out.

Do not remember if I read TRK but what I remember happening is far too much to be just the 230 page doc that is TFC so I MUST HAVE right?

Do know his real name's Nathaniel because I did read that scene reveal and get JUMPSCARED by my brother's name.

How this is going to work is that I'm going to put in my annotations for each chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 1:

"You can't be serious." "Very serious, and very out of time,"

"were a team of talented rejects and junkies because Wymack only recruited athletes from broken homes...nice in theory, but it meant his players were fractured isolationists who couldn't get along long enough to get through a game."

"God damn it, Minyard. This is why we can't have nice things."[1] "Oh, Coach," someone said over Neil's head. "If he was nice, he wouldn't be any use to us, would he?" "He's no use to us if you break him." "You'd rather I let him go? Put a band-aid on him and he'll be good as new."[2]

[1] This is why we can’t have nice things, darling. Because you break them. I have to take them away

[2] Andrew I’ll kiss you

"blond and five feet even"[1]

blond? wrong. five foot even? correct.

"They were champions, and Neil was a jumble of lies and dead-ends."[1]

[1] Neil your self-loathing is showing

"It's not a good idea." "Your opinion has been duly noted and dismissed,"

"It was proof he existed, same as this game they both played. Kevin was proof Neil was real."

"It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you." Neil had heard Wymack referred to as an idealistic idiot by more than one person, but it was hard to listen to him and not believe that he was sincere

"It sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation"

notes:

nothing much to say on chapter one--- it's a standard introductory chapter to a contemporary(ish) novel.

Wymack sets up the series' key theme with his line, "It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you."

Kevin's demeanor in this chapter is very similar to the Kevin we see up until Raven's come into play--- He's very good at acting very standoffish and tough.

The shift in Kevin when Riko comes into play was actually so dramatic I didn't recognize him here, I was afeared

some of the quotes I've added here are obviously because I thought they were funny exchanges--- others are me English Majoring(tm), and others are just me marking plot, characterization, facts, etc.

admittedly what i've put here is about half of what is actually highlighted/underlined in my doc.

I want to study the dynamic between Neil & Wymack under a microscpe

[wantedtourist]

s5 first thoughts

SILVERUSSO NATION WE WERE FED we finally feasted like we deserved uggshshhh so much to say about them it should be it’s own post

CHOZEN. no words. absolute golden. s-tier.

I’m proud to announce that I single-handedly manifested Chozen/Kumiko aka Choziko NO CUZ ITS REALLY CANON NOW AND I WAS RIGHT ON THE MONEY WITH MY HEADCANON MONTHS AGO re: Chozen’s feelings of guilt and about not being good enough for her???? not in a million years did I actually think it would happen I’m so!!!!

MIKE BARNES. no cuz Mike hijacking the limo and the ensuing roadside hijinks is the funniest and most entertaining thing Cobra Kai has ever done. everything they did with Mike this season was A++++ and they need to bring him back or I riot

JESSICA ANDREWS MY LOVE. am devastated she did not have a scene with Daniel (or Mike!) but I know she’ll be back now that she and Daniel are canonically family and oh my god I can’t believe that’s a sentence I just said about a thing that is true, ditto choziko, scream/

ROBBY AND DANIEL. I cried in ONE (1) scene and one scene only, Robby and Daniel talking in Miyagi’s room. and by cry I mean I straight up bawled. I waited for this for so long and I wish we got more Daniel/Robby moments but I’ll treasure this one forever.

MY KIDS. did I think the writers did Robby dirty with that half-assed reconciliation arc? yes. but listen, my joy at seeing Robby finally being happy and seeing Robby and Miguel as friends outweighs my contempt at the writing for how it all got to that point so what I can say. on the flip side, not enough Sam and Tory. but I love what we did get of them together. also this means (or should mean) that they will have their arc next season, and it’ll get proper focus since the Miguel and Robby arc has been resolved and is out of the way. anyway, looking forward to Robby and Miguel clumsily trying to get them to get along next season. should ensure a lot of Miguel/Robby and samtory content :’). ANTHONY. love that lil twerp, always have! I finally got Sam/Anthony content. PROTECT THE EGG. or was it “protect the bird”??? um whatever it was adorable!! both times! bye feeling emo about Anthony being the baby/baby brother of all of Miyagi do, ugh, it’s just too cute

LOUIE. I have unapologetically and unironically loved this idiot since s1. please continue to give us all the Anouie content

overall! plenty of things I didn’t care for or didn’t like (die, Mexico arc and Mexico yellow filter, die), as always, but for once the stuff I enjoyed outweighed the stuff I didn’t enjoy

and I mean listen as a Daniel fan I’m feeling pretty satisfied right now. finally this show put some respect on his name. finally we return to the roots of the Karate Kid universe. I’ve been saying it all along, the problem with Cobra Kai until this season has been that it has forgotten or ignored that the whole POINT of this universe is that all big strong karate men want Daniel Larusso in one way or another. but it has finally arrived at that central truth by surrounding Daniel with all his former karate nemeses and demonstrating that he still has the effortless eternal karate twink powers to overturn or change their lives just by being himself and to drive them to obsession with him and thats what I call cinema

[yikesharringrove]

Notes while watching episode 2:

Tldr, this season is still pretty fun. Of course they’re introducing more of the mysteries, so the tone (and my screen) has gone darker. I’m really sick of the plot centering around Nancy and Jonathan just not being able to talk to each other. We’ve had it since the beginning I’m DONE. Stop introducing side characters when you don’t have any idea what to do with your main ones. I’m hoping we get more of Lucas this season, he barely had like two minutes of screen time (which is a trend from last season) and also no one cared about billy. But of course, we knew that.

Anyway here is the long version of my notes:

The way I GASPED when Powell and Callahan stepped out of the police cruisers and Powell is the chief now I screamed bitch. My favorite minor characters are HERE.

I have Jonathan’s haircut right now rip

Everytime I am forced to watch children kiss each other I feel my soul slip away. (Although the flower thing was lowkey cute)

Mike not hugging Will is pure homophobia I’m gonna throw up.

“I heard a lot about your sister” unfortunately, we all have.

Glad to see that Murray is still dialed to 1000 forever.

They are really trying to make Jonathan look like an extra in Almost Famous and it’s just. Not working.

They really are out here shoving Steve into youth xs size polos and bitch I’m HERE for it.

“Alone we totally suck” Steve and robin platonic soulmates 4ever

Bennys burgers is now the teenage rage place obsessed with that.

“The devil lives here in Hawkins” yeah and the devil’s name is Nancy’s wardrobe

Claudia Henderson my beloved.

The way Dustin is defending Eddie and saying he knows that he’s too good a person to hurt Chrissy, and Max saying how scared Eddie looked and putting together the Upside Down pieces just breaks my fucking heart. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

People need to start fucking believing Joyce. She’s been right about everything for four seasons now stop staying no to her.

I am very similar to Joyce in that I am in love with Jim Hopper.

I am DEEPLY claustrophobic that torture scene was A Lot.

Wills deep man voice is freaking me out he’s a grown human now I’m gonna barf he was such a squishy baby in season 1.

Obsessed that Will is lowkey good at roller skating. He’s such a fruit.

Someone called Mike a twig and I thought he said TWINK.

Jason the WASP can eat my shorts PLEASE don’t tell me he becomes part of the main group I hate his dumb face. I only have room in my heart for one stupid prep and that spot is FILLED by STEVEN HARRINGTON

Nancy and Jonathan actually talk to each other and communicate challenge. “Slow motion breakup with Nancy?” VIBES

I don’t understand why Angela keeps calling El a snitch? When the teacher asked if something was going on El said there wasn’t, but the teacher saw through it. Like, she tried to cover for you, sorry that your bullying isn’t subtle.

When I heard that psycho killer baseline I genuinely had to pause the show to calm myself down that song is SO FUCKING GOOD

Jason the prep is just Hawkins’s version of Archie Andrews I’m gonna cry with this vigilante shit.

“See ya later. Alligator.” Steve Harrington my BELOVED. When he said that he looked so dead inside <3

I think Lucas has said about eight words this season and I’m Tired. He was barely in season 3 and only existed as a punch line for the joke of being constantly broken up with by Max. They’ve added a hundred new characters and have totally cast him aside which is ALSO on trend. Doesn’t mean I fucking like it though.

Reefer Rick is just Steve.

Okay when Steve was talking about attending to all the customers equally……. Not just babes…….. bisexuality……..

(Also some random punk walked in behind him and punk kid is my new kilt guy)

For some lovely lovely angst I am now headcanoning a scene where vecna gets in Steve’s head and uses Barb’s death and funeral against him like the reporter kid. I think that seeing Steve go through that guilt would be delicious.

Mike calling out Will for being a douche when really he’s just gay and Over It. “Why am I the bad guy” Mike you’ve been a dick for four seasons. Maybe look internally.

El just claw this bitch’s eyes out already. YES SKATE TO THE FACE GO GIRL.

Dustin is so annoying fr he’s the best. “Is that foot?” “No that’s just a shoe.” Steve and Dustin #DreamTeam

Movies and tv stop being too dark for me to see what’s happening challenge.

The little trumpet noises Robin makes SHES SO CUTE.

“Yeah yeah, on Dustin’s mother” this is some fucking Claudia slander and I will not stand for it.

All steve knows is eat hot chip, moan when other boys press up against him, and lie.

Eddie (rightfully) being treated like he’s been traumatized. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

They filled Eddie in on all the upside down shit right away. No one cared about billy no one cared about billy.

Vecna doesn’t feel like an Upside Down thing to me. I mean, he’s clearly in the Upside Down, and is a part of it? But the way he’s like up in these people’s heads is weird. I don’t think he’s any part of the mind Flayer because we had that bitch for two seasons, they’d be finished with that.

Also not the demogorgons being able to fly. These bitches have seriously evolved like the fucking graboids in Tremors 1-3.

[clownhara]

i know VERY LITTLE about idv men. please. discuss them for me. id love to see it.

CAN DO!!! Might as well start with my main, the Wu C/hang, whos actually technically two men, Xie Bi'a/n and Fan Wu/jiu . Gameplay wise, you play as one at a time, With one being faster with a longer hitbox but slower vault/pallet break speed and an ability to basically speed a across the map in seconds, and Fan being slower with a smaller hit box but a faster vault speed and pallet break, and an ability to stun survivors for a short period of time. I really only play as Xie because I love the extra speed and his animations are just SO PAINFULLY fruity. I'm pretty sure he actually limp wrists in some of them it's great. Lore wise, they're just a couple of boyfriends who died and are haunting the same umbrella. It's kinda tragic actually, because now they can't see each other Antonio, aka the Violinist, is a musician who is possessed by the devil to make some pretty epic music. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no clue how to play him. I never figured it out. He looks really cool though! Love the hair tendrils playing the violin. Edgar is actually survivor, and not even a good one to be honest. He's really hard to use in my opinion. He's called the painter, and he has to look at a hunter for a bit then he can paint a picture that distracts them for a while, then tells them his location. He's also, according to the game lore, absolutely insufferable. He's super stuck up and full of himself. I have no idea why I like him, yet I do and if anyone says anything bad about him I'll cry /j. this being said, his backstories definitely got one of the darker implications. Just a heads up for anyone looking that up because wow. That's a lot of trauma for one twink

Luca is just some guy. That's all. Never mind the murder charge that's not important. Also I have zero idea how to use him, I think it has to do with connecting two generators together so he can work on two at once??? No idea how to use it it's like a full book of text of tutorial on his page and I can't read that much sadly. Lore wise, his whole thing is he has amnesia and committed murder which was probably self defense, but since he can't remember actually killing the guy he has no idea if he was defending himself or not. Canonically has a lil fang. Voted most likely to bite a hunter if he actually could

Andrew is Catholic guilt personified. He's albino and the church convinced him he was a monster because of it, so he's a recluse who can literally burrow underground as an ability but also is claustrophobic so he can't be under for to long. Someone help him please

Victor has a dog :) His name is Wick and he delivers letters with buffs to the other survivors. He's also mute I believe. Victor not the dog

Joseph, aka the Photographer, is really confusing to use and also French so we don't talk about him much. But he like takes photos of people and then you can see their souls which you can then interact with and chair people without them knowing??? No idea how the French Fry works

Anyway that is all of the men from Iden/tity V. There ae no other men I prommy (lie)

[cozycosplaycorner]

I have confidence!

This Saturday, my little saplings, I will talk about confidence in cosplay as a hobby and as a community. Confidence is... a tricky one. It’s something people always seem to have either very little of or, annoyingly, much of. And often it varies from day to day, cosplay to cosplay. I think I speak for many cosplayers when I say that lack of confidence have stopped a cosplay dream or two.

Problems with confidence can stem from different places. And depending on where you feel inadequate, there are different ways to go about it. I often feel lack confidence in my crafting skills. My seems are not as neat as they could be, my choice of fabric not always optimal. Yeah sure it looks alright, but it could be better. And better is, unfortunately, the best way to cure this confidence problem. By practicing you get better and this will get you confidence. There’s no easy way around this one. I’m not very confident in building an airplane – I’ve never done it! I am, however, pretty confident in my abilities to read a book or bake a cake – Those I’ve done a million times.

So some lack of confidence can be fixed simply by practicing and getting better. Where it really get’s tricky, is when other people get involved, which is often the case. When you feel confident in yourself and your skills until you see someone who did it better. And yes, I use the word better again. Because I think many of us are tired of hearing “oh, your cosplay is great too! It’s just... different!”. Yeah, and sometimes, it’s just not as good, let’s be honest and not sugar coat it. This feeling we’re dealing with here, is envy. Exactly, that androgynous guy with the green hair from Fullmetal Alchemist.

Envy is a nasty little thing to carry around and something we all know all too well. Including my fellow blogger Anso, who wrote this piece on the feeling:

 Envy is the absolute worst feeling in the world. It’s so easy to think that you are all alone battling with these thoughts – but you’re not. I remember once, someone told me that they’d never be as good at cosplaying as me. I was shocked. First off, because that’s just plain incorrect, but secondly because I myself am INCREDIBLY envious (there, I said it), so the prospect of someone being envious of me was unimaginable. I realized that I was not alone with these feelings, everyone deals with it (except those few people who are living rays of sunshine and you guys deserve nothing but happiness). A little bit of envy is great motivation and can really help you improve, but too much works in the complete opposite way and could potentially make someone give up on cosplay.

 Yes, we’re all envious here, all three of us. Sometimes also at each other. I have to do my make up next to Joshi almost every time, and if you’ve seen her Instagram, you know why I would feel envious. It does you no good to direct that envy into a dislike of someone, because envy doesn’t actually come from those talented little buggers, it comes from yourself and your no-confidence. Comparison is a root to many evils (said the woman who studies COMPARATIVE Literature), because our comparisons are almost always impossible. How can you compare your 10-hour piece to your friend’s 50-hour piece? How can you compare three years of experience with 15 years? Time, money, investment, accessibility, surplus of energy and YES even god given talent is a factor when it comes to cosplay. You cannot and should not compare yourself to someone else.

Of course, this is bullshit advice because it’s impossible. Our entire society is built up on comparison. And I won’t preach what I can’t practice, and I compare myself to others all the time. But it’s so much better to do that comparison when you have confidence in yourself. “I did good with what I had” is the best response to envy. To be proud of your own creations dwindles the fires of hell of jealousy. Don’t look ahead to where more experienced cosplayers are, look back on what you have accomplished. Look back on your many many MANY failures and see where you are now. If you need an example, scroll through my Instagram to my first cosplay of Lance McClain where I looked more like a twink Eren Jaeger and SEE how far I’ve come.

Or look to your friends. It’s easy to have a love/hate relationship with Cosplay Celebrity over Tik Tok and Instagram, but when a friend does an incredible cosplay, envy has a way of turning into pride. You would never put down a friend over your own insecurity, would you? Their confidence can also rub off on you, if you’re lucky. I have overweight friends who kill in skin-tight way more than I ever could. I have trans male friend who have my deepest respect for owning their dysphoria and cosplaying female characters. My friends are BOSS. And while envy over their amazing work does creep into my heart at times, it’s pride that really takes the front stage. They inspire me to do better and work harder.

I have confidence in what I do. Most of it. Sometimes. It’s okay not to feel that confidence 24/7, no person ever does. I have let doubt stop me, and doubt will probably stop me again. Confidence is tricky. In such cases, we turn to Julie Andrews for help. In The Sound of Music there is a song called “Confidence” (which of course you know, who hasn’t seen the 1965 musical over and over growing up, no, just me?, okay). In this song, Andrews mentions all the thing she has confidence in including “I have confidence in confidence alone.” Sometimes, you’ve got to fake it till you make it. Holding your head up high, marching through con like you own the place and just straight up vibing with your look is often enough. Don’t tell yourself you should have done better, do better next time. Don’t tell yourself you’re not as good as someone else, aspire to get to their level. If you need it, turn off social media when you’re working on a cosplay. Or focus on a goal such as learning a new skill or making at least three cosplays a year, instead of just “getting better”. Cosplay should be fun, if it makes your miserable, you’re doing it wrong. And that’s actually the only way to do cosplay wrong.

Every hobby is a journey. We all feel shitty every once in a while, and believes the whole world to be better than us in what we do. But those sweet moments of confidence... The wig is fly, your costume fits like it should, and why oh why can’t you wear this every day to school? I live for those moments. Even if I sometimes only have confidence in confidence alone.

[milkshake-at-pops]

Tour of the Heart: Chapter Three

chapter 2/masterpost/chapter 4

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“tilt your head a little to the left… a little more… there!” the photographer snapped a photo. “now... move your arm up a little… a little more... oh wait no move it down… perfect!”

cheryl sighed internally. she loved her job, sure, and she loved the freedom it offered, but she wished it wasn't so goddamn tedious all the time. sometimes she wanted to do something with more variety. something more like the art she did in her free time, only as a career. cheryl pondered this choice for a few minutes. did she have enough modeling money and royalties to be able to rely on art to sustain herself?

“alright, ms. blossom, that’s all for right now. i think that boy over there in the beanie has been waiting for you.” the photographer gestured to jughead with an amused smile. cheryl thanked him, walking over to the tree where jughead was standing.

“hey,” the raven haired boy greeted cheryl. “wanna grab a bite to eat?”

“please, i’m starving,” the redhead responded. “there’s a great salad place nearby, wanna go?”

the pair headed towards the salad place, and continued to talk once they sat down.

“so… i have exciting news…” jughead began.

“spill.”

“i may or may not have gotten a real article…” cheryl clapped. “and that article may or may not include going on veronica lodge’s tour and writing about it.”

“arch is going on that tour too, right? like the arch andrews you’ve been crushing on since… literally forever?”

“yes. and shut up, it’s only been like, a few months. speaking of the tour, has veronica invited you along yet? you two are…” jughead paused to emphasize the next word. “...close.”

“okay, first of all, you scoundrel! second of all, not formally. she invited me last week when we got lunch but she said-“

“hold on, hold on,” jughead said, cutting cheryl off. “you had lunch with veronica and didn’t tell me about it? have you forgotten that i am the number one ‘cheronica’ stan?” he made air quotes around the ship name.

cheryl cursed under her breath. “i meant to tell you about it, just… it didn’t necessarily come up?”

“cheryl blossom, i cannot believe you would keep this from me, your best friend.” jughead draped himself over the table dramatically.

“shut up, you disaster twink. yes, veronica and i had lunch. she was in town and i was free. are you happy?”

“hell no, cher. you know you gotta spill all of the deets. what was she wearing, what did you eat- you’ve got me invested in the cheronica love story now.”

cheryl rolled her eyes. “you don’t need to know everything about my love life. but, for your information, she was wearing a gorgeous black dress. we went to that grill we love- the one with the really good veggie burgers?”

“you went to grillby’s without me? i’m wounded.”

“there aren’t exactly lots of good, cheap vegetarian places around, jughead. and we had to go somewhere.” jughead glared at his best friend. “anyways, jug, we talked about normal things. her tour, my work, et cetera. then she invited me on the tour with her. after that, ronnie asked me over on saturday to help her pack. are you happy now?”

jughead narrowed his eyes. “you’ve sated my curiosity…for now.”

the pair lapsed into a comfortable silence, both content to eat for a few minutes.

“hey,” cheryl began, breaking the silence. “you never gave me all the details about your arrangement with veronica and arch. also, i’m finished and ready to leave.”

“let’s go then. and there’s nothing to tell you- not yet at least. this is not a cheronica-type situation, so don’t get your hopes up. i’ll be going on tour and travelling with them so i can write an article, nothing more.”

“if you insist!”

[gainerstories]

Some Twinks Like Twinkies: Chapter 2

Click here to read Chapter 1

“Eat my fat ass like it’s the last doughnut in the box you pig,” Dylan purred as his co-worker, Jared, slammed him against the wall of the office bathroom.

 "Trust me, I’ll get there,“ Jared said as the two locked lips. 

Their hands traversed each other’s fleshy bodies, pulling skin-tight work shirts out from tailored pants to reveal doughy stomachs. Jared’s mouth traveled from Dylan’s sugary red lips to his scruffy neck and then down his chest. 

"Looks like all those early morning pastries have been sticking to your ribs, huh?” Jared said and licked Dylan’s nipple. 

“If it’s not my ribs it’s my gut,” Dylan managed to say between heavy breaths. 

Jared worked his mouth down to Dylan’s hairy and puffed out midsection. Dylan gripped the back of Jared’s head with his palm and sunk the man’s face deep into his paunchy abdomen. Jared moaned slightly and frantically freed his hard on from chinos that were wet with pre-cum. Waves of pleasure shot through his body as he stroked his cock, face still planted firmly in his coworker’s burgeoning spare tire. Dylan loosened his grip and Jared responded by pressing his face in further. He shook his head vigorously causing Dylan’s extra weight to undulate and bounce. 

“Fuck you’ve really packed it on fat boy,” Jared said coming up for air. “What’s that twink boyfriend of yours think now? Huh fatty?" 

"He shoots condescending looks at my gut when I over eat… which is always.” “Fuck yeah, prove what a true piggy you are.” Jared’s tongue followed Dylan’s happy trail to his groin. Dylan’s pubic hair was trimmed down to display a recently formed fat pad puffing out around his uncut cock. Jared explored the new chub with his tongue, sucking on mouthfuls of musky fat. The fattened twink’s rock hard and engorged member tapped against Jared’s scruffy cheeks.  

“Tell me how much fatter you’ve gotten since we met,” Jared muttered before wrapping his mouth around Dylan’s pulsating cock. 

Between slight moans Dylan managed to say, “So much. You’ve turned me into a prize hog. My… oh fuck… my belly has never been so fat." 

"Numbers, give me numbers,” Jared responded. 

“Christ, I uh… oh god… um about thirty. Thirty pounds of lard in two months." 

This admission spurred Dylan to face fuck Jared. With each thrust, Jared’s forehead smashed against a plump fat pad and underbelly while Dylan’s balls slapped his chin. Jared clutched Dylan’s bouncing swollen ass cheeks so tightly that pink bulges of fat formed between his fingers. Both men were grunting and moaning in pleasure when Jared abruptly stood and flipped Dylan around. He dropped to his knees and parted Dylan’s fattened posterior. He proceeded as instructed, devouring the man’s rump as though it were the last morsel of food in the building. After a few minutes of rimming, slapping, and biting Dylan’s fleshy behind, Jared stood and began to insert his lengthy cock. Dylan let out a moan to which Jared quickly responded by gripping his paw over the other mans face. 

"Shh, we can’t let anyone know there’s two dirty piggies in here, can we?" 

Jared slowly began to pump his cock into Dylan. His arousal was so immense that in seconds he was vigorously pounding the man, relishing how their sweaty overweight bodies jiggled in unison. Only a few minutes after entering his bloated coworker Jared was ready to bust his nut. 

"Fuck I’m close." 

"Me too, oh god." 

"Oh fuck… you want my load?" 

"Uh huh…" 

"Every Twinkie needs its cream filling huh dough boy?" 

The men orgasmed in unison and slumped onto the floor. 

"Fuck that was hot,” Jared said. 

They collected themselves and straightened their clothes before exiting the bathroom separately. It was the end of the work day and most of their coworkers had left, but the two chubs-in-training were playing it safe. Jared went home for the day and Dylan plopped down at his desk to finish up a few things. He was still lustful for Jared’s soft form. Dylan had turned into a gluttonous hog in the two months since that night he jerked off in the McDonald’s parking lot. Ever since his gut was perpetually stuffed with delicious foods. At first he was alarmed by how intimately his appetite and libido seemed to be linked, but this changed after one fateful night out with his coworker. After a drunken tryst, Jared made a startling confession to Dylan. He was a self-professed “gainer” who longed to fatten himself and others up for sexual pleasure. For the first time Dylan was exposed to an exotic and titillating sexual subculture. His mind told him it was crazy, but his cock said otherwise. After that night, Dylan and Jared began a secret relationship of mutual gaining. 

Dylan opened the drawer to his desk to discover a gift from Jared; a hefty slice of cheesecake. He consumed the treat in a few bites and was left with a hankering for more. Overcome with a lust for food and Jared’s softening form, he snuck out of the office early to grab some pizza. Dylan consumed two large and greasy slices of pepperoni, arriving home with a bloated belly that was ready for more. He wasn’t surprised to find Andrew had prepared a vegetarian soup for dinner. Andrew was increasingly passive aggressive about Dylan’s weight. The pantry was always bare, healthy meals became the norm, and Andrew was constantly mentioning how he was “so full” after only a few bites of food. Ironically, Andrew’s weight was dropping as Dylan’s waistline ballooned. 

“I bought you a little something, if you wanna head to the bedroom,” Andrew suggested after dinner. 

“Oh?” Dylan was surprised by the flirty tone in his boyfriends voice. “What could it be?" 

Dylan opened the small gift box sitting on the bed to find a red leather cock ring. He grinned and leaned in for a kiss. Before long the couple’s nude bodies, one concave and one convex, were intertwined. They both had considerable hard ons as Dylan reached for the cock ring. He struggled to fasten it around junk, noticing that the smallest setting highlighted his freshly formed FUPA. 

"You do it,” Dylan motioned to Andrew. 

He wanted to see Andrew’s bony twink fingers next to his own bloated form. Andrew grabbed the cock ring and paused before strapping it on. 

“What the fuck, Dylan?" 

"Huh?" 

"Why do you have someone else’s come in your pubes?" 

Dylan’s heart dropped, "Baby, that’s my own jizz. I beat off at work." 

Andrew sniffed his boyfriend’s cock before replying, "No fucking way. I can’t believe you. Here I am buying gifts for your fat ass." 

"Hey!" 

"I’m honestly shocked right now. Here I am thinking you’re gaining weight because you’re depressed or some shit. But no, you’re just a lazy prick. So who the fuck is it? Huh?" 

"Andrew, there is no one else." 

"Bullshit! I can smell him on you Dylan! I’m so done with this relationship! I mean look at you, I’m not even attracted to you anymore. You know you have stretch marks on the back of your thighs?" 

"You know maybe I enjoy having some extra weight you superficial cunt!" 

"Oh congratulations on your body positivity Mr. Former Twink, I really could not give a fuck. Please just get the fuck out of this apartment. I don’t wanna look at you." 

"Seriously?" 

"Yeah! Get out!" 

"And go where exactly?”  

“Maybe the dude you’re fucking will take you in.“ 

"You’re a real shitty human Andrew, you know that?" 

"At least I don’t look like Ronald McDonald’s kept boy." 

"You know what?! I have been fucking someone else! And he’s even fatter than I am, and let me tell you- it’s the best goddamn sex of my life you brainwashed little zombie." 

"That’s cool. Does your fat fuck buddy have a bed you can crash in?" 

The two stared at each other in silence for a moment. 

"I regret moving in here. I’ll pack a bag and leave.”

[nightingveilxo]

As a series, Sherlock has been all about being clever. It’s been a little game for Mofftiss, inserting homoerotic subtext, actual text from gay literature and music, etc into the show. In their own way, I think Mofftiss sees themselves as Sherlock Holmes, brilliantly-minded, and able to pull together concepts that possibly no one else could. The Final Problem is turning out to be that Mofftiss, while perhaps the ultimate fanboys, might not truly understand who Sherlock Holmes is (even their version). But, is this a no-win scenario and if there is a villain, is it them or us?

Moriarty keeps playing the game, for his own reasons, much like Mofftiss has been. On multiple occasions, they’ve commented about how they won’t change things due to how fans want to see events play out. Fair enough. Creators shouldn’t necessarily bow to the audience, changing their art as a result, and sometimes pure, old-fashioned entertainment is enough. But, we’ve all read posts by people that met Mofftiss and found them to be overly smug and condescending. A bit like Moriarty, they’re very sure of themselves, convinced they understand the dynamics of Holmes better than anyone else possibly could. One bringing up the topic of his being gay as a defense (yet forgetting that many of us are as well), the other saying one character representing all of gayness is too much to do (but only using the obvious ‘twink’ mannerisms for comedic effect is fine). And how long is it entertaining to try to keep up with someone like this, especially when the results don’t always makes sense anymore?

Like Sherlock, so have we been playing the game, trying to stay afloat if not one step ahead. But, Moriarty temporarily makes Sherlock feel like a fool, because Sherlock’s attempts to have everything be clever, undermined his cause. There have been other posts here about how our comments and meta might have caused Mofftiss to retaliate. Like Moriarty, trying to burn the heart out of us, but as with Sherlock, we won’t back down. Some of us have been so certain that the end game will be worth it, while others of us just want things to reach a logical conclusion (at the end of each season). Even with the good old-fashioned villain dead, and his network destroyed, did Sherlock really win?

Season 4 happens, and most of us were wtf?? and still are. Glib responses to questions in the few interviews, Q&As, and this past weekend’s con, have only made that worse. A great many of us are torn between just walking away entirely (taking almost everything at face value as one enormous fuck-up or intentional bombing of their own show) or choosing to remain here (continuing to figure out pieces from the show and how they might make sense). Most of us agree there were certain brilliant moments, scenes like Faith’s window and Sherlock’s drugged wanderings, for instance. Mofftiss have alternately said they had S5 entirely plotted out, and that they had no idea what was going to happen. In one interview they said there is no S5, but there is definitely a S6. Do we wait to see how it long it all takes, whatever it is?

Moriarty came back in S4, but TFP episode had us believe that his plan was basically masterminded by Eurus. At con, that idea was said to be inaccurate, that Moriarty was really very much in control, and definitely the real bad guy. Since we’re not entirely sure if Eurus was real or fake, that doesn’t help our situation.

The real Faith (leaving trance/hypnosis/EMP out of it for the moment), was a facade used for Eurus’s cause. Her own father didn’t have trouble playing with her mind, giving her reasons to doubt her grasp of reality, her older memories, and his reasons for acting as he did. We could argue that by going back on so many of the statements they made in S1-TAB, that Mofftiss is Culverton, and we’re Faith--limping along in S4 and the period after, not sure what is true and what isn’t.

Culverton keeps confessing, long after he doesn’t have to, much like Mofftiss repeatedly mentioning how they lie, that we know it, and that we keep coming back for more. We’ve become accustomed to the (arguably) father figures being somewhat reliable, and still want(ed) to continue in that direction. Some would argue that there are factions in the fan base that have killed off the parts of Sherlock that they loved the most, and continue doing so.

Mary never left after T6T. We see her physically reflected in objects, and handling others after she supposedly died. Whether bad camera work or she is alive, the result is the same. Her presence causes John to question who he is, and how he has been viewing the world around him, including his ideas of who Sherlock actually is. John goes from refusing to help Sherlock at all, and beating away at the elements he’s held onto for so long, only to cement their relationship once again--albeit needing major perspective changes in order to reach that end. 

So, post S4 it boils down to who is the villain? Who is Culverton, and who is Faith? Who is Mary, and who is John? By choosing to have the “backlash” as it was, did Mofftiss try to end the game entirely or just change the rules? Are Mofftiss the villains for continuing to queerbait, lie, and otherwise perform in ways that lead us along to greater disillusionment (even though they admit they lie) or are we the villains for continuing to believe some of what they say, by writing down our ideas about possible scenarios, discussing these matters with one another on public platforms, and by pressing them for material that makes sense? Are they Sherlock, because they want to keep the heart of their show as it is, choosing to keep most feelings subdued in order to also keep things progressing? Are we Sherlock, maybe a bit too clever, maybe too eager to get told we’re on the right track, and missing certain elements when we allow our hearts to rule our heads?

Before you say we’re Sherlock, keep in mind he had to lose almost everything, more than once and that, while brilliant in his own area of expertise, he had a considerable lack of knowledge in many, many others. Before you say we’re Moriarty, keep in mind that Andrew says every time he thinks they’re done with the character, he is told otherwise by Mofftiss. Before you say we’re Faith, keep in mind that even after she was drugged, she remained in her father’s domain. Before you say we’re Culverton, keep in mind that he didn’t help when John was beating Sherlock, indeed almost looked dismayed at the damage being inflicted. Before you say we’re Mary, redeemed by our choices to try to be pure and stay on the right track, keep in mind that she turned on the people that should have meant the most to her--family. Before you say we’re John, keep in mind that it took him seven years to reach any kind of stability with his life, and Sherlock, because he refused to acknowledge and state some basic truths.

Here is the post @monikakrasnorada Have fun!

[gainerstories]

Some Twinks Like Twinkies: Chapter 1

Andrew’s lithe body trembled, his jaw clenched, and he shot a massive load that splattered against the wall behind him. Dylan swiped some jizz from Andrew’s chest and licked it off his fingers as he continued to pound his boyfriend’s ass. His sizable uncut cock pumped in and out of the twink’s tight hole. It was an uncharacteristically hot spring, and they were both covered in sweat. For the first time in his life, Dylan noticed a small pillow of fat that clung to his abs jiggled ever so slightly. He nutted inside Andrew and collapsed onto the bed. The room was silent except for their heavy breathing.

“That was really hot,” Dylan sighed.

“Totally,” Andrew replied.

“You know what sounds great now?“

“Huh?“

“Some pizza,” Dylan chuckled. There was an extended pause before he continued, “Or not?“

"I just… I thought you already grabbed dinner at the office?” Andrew queried.

“Yeah, so? It was just like appetizers or whatever. I’m not allowed to still be hungry?"

"Well, I don’t wanna make you feel bad or anything but you’ve really been packin’ it on lately."

"Wow,” Dylan sat up.

“Is six foot and a hundred sixty pounds not twink enough for you, Andrew?"

"Come on, I didn’t mean…"

"I know what you meant. What, am I not hot enough unless you can see my ribs? I guess you did shoot a pretty big load just now, but maybe all you care about is the size of my cock?"

"Fucking Christ, Dylan! What, you’d rather me keep my mouth shut while you turn into a fat fuck?"

"Whoa! I’m hardly fat! I’m still a twink by any normal person’s standards."

"I’m not saying you’re fat, but this is how it starts. I saw it with my mom– mark my words. You graduate college, get a cushy office job, sit on your ass all day, and before you know it you don’t fit in any of your clothes. I mean, c'mon we both know you barely fit into those brown skinny jeans anymore."

"I do not sit on my ass all day."

"Oh, come ON. Half the time you’re too lazy to even make it to the office so you work from home so you can eat chips and soda in your underwear. I’m not stupid Dylan, I see it happening, I see the cellulite on your thighs and your paunchy gut. I’m saying it because I care about you."

"If you cared about me you wouldn’t give a fuck about ten extra pounds."

"Ten? Hah!"

"Fuck you Andrew and fuck your brain washed little mind. I should’ve known better than to date a marketing major."

"Are we done here?"

"I don’t know, are you done fat shaming?"

Andrew didn’t respond and Dylan walked to the bathroom and closed the door. He was still naked and covered in dried come. A wave of guilt and self loathing washed over him as he stared at his body in the mirror. He had gained weight. Probably about twenty pounds since he started work in the fall. Dylan pinched his belly fat and released it, noticing how it jiggled back into place. His eyes drifted from his paunch as he noticed slight love handles had formed above his hips. His silhouette has become more of a square than the bony and defined V it was several months ago.

Dylan turned around to examine his thighs and ass. Andrew was right, his lower body was caked in cellulite. He did a little hop and watched the flab on his posterior reverberate. He turned back around and noticed his thighs were nearly touching. He squeezed one and watched his pale skin turn pink from the pressure. He never knew fat was so soft and couldn’t resist squeezing his thighs and ass for several minutes. Strangely, his cock twitched with slight arousal. Dylan ignored it as another wave of guilt hit him. How did this happen?

Andrew must have been right- it was the office job. When he was still in school he had free time to bicycle, go on hikes, and just walk around town. Since he got a job all he did was sit on his ass and then come home and drink beer. Sure, there was the occasional weekend activity, but more often than not that consisted of dinners, movies, or getting wasted with friends and chowing down on greasy food at the end of the night. It dawned on him that even at work he was usually munching on the copious amount of free snacks that clients would deliver.

After his shower, Dylan nervously stepped on the bathroom scale. During the argument he claimed he weighed 160 but the scale was reading 178. This mean Dylan had put on about 25 pounds since graduating. Andrew was right, he was turning into a fat ass.

Feeling overwhelmed and defeated, Dylan hopped in his car to go for a cruise. He was now painfully aware of how the elastic waistband of his joggers pushed up his belly fat and how the seat belt made it even more prominent. Even his T-shirt felt tighter around his midsection. Everything Andrew said was correct. He had developed a post-grad, office job, dad bod. How had he not noticed this weight gain? It was humiliating to realize his burgeoning paunch and increased appetite was probably a source of gossip at the office and among his friends. His self-esteem was plummeting, which, ironically, only spurred the desire to comfort eat.

In the distance a glowing pair of yellow arches appeared and Dylan felt a pang of hunger in his gut. He couldn’t believe he was craving McDonald’s after what had transpired with Andrew. He felt like such a pathetic piggy wanting fast food. But, it had been about three hours since he last ate. And he barely ate anything at the office anyway. Plus, the car was already headed toward the fast food chain so might as well. Dylan rationalized that he could start dieting in the morning- might as well have one last hurrah. He pulled into the drive thru.

"Welcome to McDonald’s how may I take your order."

"Hi, um I’ll do a Big Mac with large fries.”  

“Will that complete your order, sir?"

"Um well, I guess a large chocolate shake too… Fuck it and two chocolate chip cookies."

Dylan received his food and drove to the darkest corner of the parking lot to stuff his face in shame. He consumed the burger in record time and began guzzling down the shake in between fist fulls of French fries. His sadness and hunger blurred into a delirium of gluttony, and while his stomach was increasingly full, the hunger inexplicably refused to dissipate. Once again, Dylan’s cock begin to stiffen while the fries disappeared into his mouth almost as quickly as the burger. Dylan’s full attention was now directed towards gulping down the shake. When all that remained was a mound of whipped cream, he removed the lid and dipped the chocolate chip cookies. He felt wonderfully full but still craved more. In a fog of intense hunger he pulled back into the drive thru and ordered two McChickens with extra mayo.

After polishing off the final sandwich he leaned back in his car, let out a momentous belch, and looked down to see an engorged belly splattered with drops of mayo, and a girthy, fully erect cock straining against sweatpants. A brief moment of guilt dissipated as Dylan instinctually scooped up some of the mayo, plopped it in his mouth, then scooped up some more and began to masturbate. He shot his load almost instantly.

Dylan closed his eyes for a few minutes as the come on his shirt mixed with mayonnaise. He opened them to see the mess splattered across his swollen and bloated body. He was overcome with disgust. What was happening to him?