#do u want it to be The Main Point where it’s about steve being the sweetheart that he is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dxncingwithastrxnger · 2 years ago

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I posted 5,199 times in 2022

That's 2,652 more posts than 2021!

320 posts created (6%)

4,879 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-ancient-fae

@kohak-u

@matchamenace

@buckybeardreams

@maxipaddy

I tagged 434 of my posts in 2022

#purpleStrxnger - 312 posts

#stranger things - 140 posts

#mileven - 131 posts

#mike wheeler - 108 posts

#el hopper - 93 posts

#eleven - 85 posts

#purplestrxngerasks - 72 posts

#mileven headcanons - 49 posts

#mileven hc - 47 posts

#mike x eleven - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#i have unfinished hizzie fics i need to finish and post im so sorry to the hizzie people who requested/gave me ideas ajakaksjs

My Top Posts in 2022:

I honestly don't know why I decided to scroll through the Mike hate tag

I knew it would piss me off

I was just curious as to what they were saying about my boy

But, you know, it's all dumb shit

Saw a lot of people encouraging Jonathan to literally beat up Mike in season 5

Like okay, good to know you want Jon to go to jail and Will and Nancy and pretty much everybody to be absolutely pissed at him

I don't wanna rant too much but,,,

What's the point of so many byler shippers hating on Mike??? Like, "Oh my gosh, Mike is a complete oblivious asshole, he should go die in a hole but I really hope him and Will finally get together next season, HAHA" like what??? How does that make any sense to anybody??

Also a lot of people being like, "Oh, Mike and El are gonna breakup and then El's gonna see the "real" Mike for the first time because she no longer has him on a pedestal and she's gonna see how badly he treats Will and then she's gonna be totally pissed at him and hate him so much, lmao" like are you guys serious???

OH and some of my favorites are the ones saying that in season 5, they want literally everyone (yes, everyone. Even Joyce and Nancy and Will and El. Literally the entire main cast) to turn against Mike because they all "realize he's a major asshole who does and says nothing right and treats them all like shit" so therefore he apparently deserves no love from anyone ever

Oh, and don't even get me started on the amount of people claiming they want season 2 Mike back because "he was the best" and "he was the happiest" and "he treated everyone way better" and "he was so much nicer to Will", etc., etc.

If I see one more person claiming that season 2 was Mike's best/happiest season, I will not apologize for my resulting actions

So, anyways, that's the end of my little rant. In conclusion, I should really stop peeking at the Mike hate tags because they always do nothing but piss me off, so yeah, there's that

Have a good day all of my lovely followers and mutuals that I very much love and appreciate, hope you're doing great!!!! 💜💜💜

106 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

what if i write a story about steve and robin, the buckley twins, who share one brain cell, and their adventures of trying to seduce the badass reporter and the emo rocker, huh? then what?

114 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

Okay but

In st5, I NEED a scene between Mike and El where she's responding to his love confession speech and telling him that she does need him and want him and that she always will and that she loves him for exactly who he is, too

I mean, even if it's a flashback or it shows them talking and Mike says something kinda self-deprecating about his and El's relationship to which in response, El's like, "Remember what I told you in the van?" And Mike's just like, "...yeah, but I'm just saying-" and El's just like, "No, Mike. I mean it. I. Need. You. I promise. Okay?"

Like seriously, I need that acknowledgment, it's necessary, man. For the sake of Mike's sanity and self-worth, HE needs it

I mean, honestly, chances are that it DID happen, considering they spent 2 whole days cuddled up in the van together, but still, I want to see it!!! Please!!!

If it doesn't happen, imma write it out

I actually might write it out before season 5

Probably soon

I won't be able to resist, tbh

121 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

Okay, but

Why in hell are there so many people that continuously claim that El needs to be single in order to be independent and become the person she's meant to be? Single and independent are not synonyms. Independent does not mean alone. That's not how it works. They're not interchangeable. You don't need one in order to have the other.

No matter who you do and don't ship, my point still stands. There's so many people that have said it. And among those people, there's so many that claim she needs to be single in order to be herself, to be independent, and use that as their excuse for thinking El and Mike need to breakup, but then go and say that Mike and Will can get together afterwards. Or that El and Max can get together afterwards. If someone needs to be single in order to be independent, does that make everyone else who is in a relationship dependent? Not their own person? Hell no.

And I've also seen so many people claim that El takes after Mike. That Mike is always pushing his likes and interests on habits onto El. That he doesn't let her be her own person and that's what makes their relationship so "bad". That's what makes them have so many issues. Especially in season 3. But no, it's the opposite. They had so many issues in season 3 because El is independent. Because they are two different people. If El wasn't her own independent person, she wouldn't of gone to Max. She wouldn't of followed Max's lead and broken up with Mike. She wouldn't of gone on this whole journey of discovering new parts of herself and as well as exploring all of her relationships with people and then also returning to her relationship with Mike of her own free will and choice if she was not an independent person. If El was solely dependent on Mike and her personality and existence was based on Mike's specifically without her making any of her own choices, she would never have broken up with him in the first place. And in season 4, she wouldn't of argued with him so much.

Mike and El have their issues because they are both 2 different, very independent people who are also both very much teenagers and very much human. But everytime they've had an issue, they've worked through it, just like two people who are in a relationship and want to stay in that relationship do. Some people say that at the end of season 4, they're at their weakest point in their relationship. But no, it's the opposite, they're actually at their strongest. Why would it show them cuddled up together in the hospital while visiting Max if they were still having issues? It's been made plenty clear that if El is mad at Mike, she doesn't want to be around him, so she would definitely not be leaning against his shoulder and holding onto him if she was still upset with him, no matter what was going on around them at the time.

So I've said it before, I'm saying it now, and I will continue to say it in the future. Mike and El are both independent people, even while together. El does not need to breakup with Mike in order to be her own person or to be independent. That is not how it works. Mike and El can both be their own person while also being together. They both are their own person while being together. Just because that person isn't who you personally want them to be, doesn't mean that they aren't their own person or that they need to change some part of them or their life in order for things to be "solved". And El especially does not have to have some "I don't need a man" mentality and lifestyle in order to be her own, usual, badass and awesome self. She's already badass and independent and awesome and incredible and intelligent and unique whether she's in a relationship with Mike or not. Her relationship status does not decide her personality and character and it never has and it never will.

See the full post

132 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to know better

Tagged By: @buckywilsonbarnes Thank you for the tag!! 💜

Three Ships: Sambucky, IronWinter, Stuckony (Buct I'm a major multi-shipper so I ship almost everything 😂)

First Ever Ship: Dude, it was during my Twilight phase that I really started shipping so my first ever ship would be like,,, Bella/Jasper, lol

Last Song: Starving By Hailee Steinfeld

Last Movie: Fantastic Four (2012), it was my first time seeing any fantastic four movie, tbh

Currently Reading: Well non-fic-wise, I'm reading Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer and Alice by Christina Henry. Fic-wise, I'm currently reading a Sambucky fic called Carry On, Carry On by Fen_Telban on AO3, as well as The Flowers Tell A Story, a Stuckony fic by QJK13 on AO3

Currently Watching: Teen Wolf. I'm on Episode 8 of Season 2 at the moment!

Currently Consuming: Nothing, tbh

Currently Craving: A country fried steak from anywhere that makes one, omg. Literally my favorite meal, hands down. Luckily, we're going to Cracker Barrel for my birthday this month and they have one that's so good 😌

Tagging: @buckybeardreams @sergeantbbarnes @marvelsgirl616 @just-two-kids-from-brooklyn @ace-of-gay @breakablebarnes @peoplealwaysleave89 @olstansoul @we-are-n0t-d0ing-get-help @hallecarey1

You don't have to do it if you don't want!!! Just thought it would be fun 💜

187 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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amarriageoftrueminds · 2 months ago

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Excellent points 👆 that have become demonstrably true since Ant Man and What If.

Because in there we've got:

"She could have left in protest" In Ant Man, we're shown that in the 1980s Hank Pym found out Mitchell Carson is rotten (head of Defense at SHIELD, hired by Peggy and Howard). In response, Hank Pym confronts Carson, punches him in the face, and resigns in protest. Both Howard and Peggy are present for all of this and are aware that Carson is rotten (viz. zero signs of surprise when Pym outs him). If Hank can resign on principle, so can Peggy... But surprise surprise, she does not do this. She does not resign in protest when it's discovered that an employee of hers is bad. AND, she doesn't fire the guy when it's publicly pointed out to her, in front of a witness.

This is consistent with What If...? where: a) It's revealed both Peggy and Howard did know about Bucky but didn't do anything (the show even tries to frame them doing nothing as noble, directly contrary to the main Cap movies where inaction is the definition of unheroic.) b) In a universe where Hank Pym, Howard Stark, and Bucky Barnes founded SHIELD (in other words: where she's the only person missing, replaced with two men of principle), SHIELD had no Nazis in it. c) In the same alt-universe, when Steve and Bucky are in her canon position (being alive after the war) they use that time to hunt down Nazis, which is part of the reason why there are none in that-universe's SHIELD. This is further evidence that she could have done something about Zola. d) We're also shown two other universes in which Peggy hired Zola. e) Even when she is explicitly in charge of everyone else, and acknowledges what Zola is, in the episode... she still employs Zola (who tries to do an Insight again and this time it's Sorcerers who have to swoop in to fix her fuck up). f) Not only that, but the circumstances under which she hires Zola (for the third time!) are the exact circumstances under which she admitted, herself, that she would hire a Nazi. Which she described to SS Officer Werner Reinhardt in her Agents of SHIELD cameo. The circumstances she described came true in What If? and she... did exactly what she said she would do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Yes, even if they're female and white!

"She could have pretended to accept it, but could have kept a close eye on him in secret and biding her time until she could stop it" This is what Nick Fury did. But she didn't. And the last SHIELD whistleblower before Nick that we know of (apart from Hank Pym) was Daniel Sousa. Who was assassinated for it in the 1950s. While Peggy died of old age in the 2000s.

"She could have arranged an ‘accident’ for Zola." Instead of which she was in charge when Zola was not only not killed but was made functionally immortal even after death (by being turned into an AI and housed directly underneath her office).

So the stan idea that she can't have known anything bad because if she had she would have done something is ... canonically, not true.

We are shown, again and again, that not only would she do nothing to stop it, if she knew, she would actively still participate if she knew.

Also: if Steve can blow off a meeting with a Senator, not testify to the Senate, tell the Secretary of Defense to go fuck himself, tear down an entire intelligence agency for being corrupt, etc etc. then she can (at the very least!) resign.

Steve wouldn't have let a little thing like the President backing Operation Paperclip get in the way of doing the right thing. Steve isn't so hungry for power that he wouldn't sacrifice it.

There's no excuse for her.

And as for why can't people see? Well, on top of implicit White Feminism, it's all a matter of framing, isn't it?

People will believe you have shown them what you act like you've shown them; what you tell them you've shown them.

So if you want to show Peggy, for example, doing the exact same thing as Red Skull...

(Throwing an unhinged temper tantrum, lashing out at one of their own people who unwittingly tips them over the edge, and shooting at them while quipping about it).

First of all, you surround her with 'other' good people when she's doing the bad thing.... and have them fail to react to what she's done; as if it's not a big deal.

Contrast this with Red Skull lashing out, where Zola is in the background wincing and shrinking away -- clearly aware of what Red Skull is about to do, and that it's awful.

(Chris Evans acts against the script, in this scene, because he looks scared, unnerved and hurt by her attack. Sadly, he can't act against the next part of the script, which has him holding her photo as if he, somehow, still cares about her despite this.)

Then you have the music -- in Red Skull's case it's ominous, In Peggy's case it's sprightly.

Also, Red Skull lashing out is preceded by other examples (all of these meant to demonstrate just how terrible and ruthless he is). Whereas Peggy's lashing out physically is a one-off; something people can claim as an anomaly (even though her other accumulated appearances confirm that this is a habit of hers. Multiple times in AG she snatches up nearby objects to enact violence on other people with them; and in What if she throws a temper tantrum and quite literally throws her weight around.)

People can't see that Peggy is rotten and useless because the films treat her as if she isn't... no matter what she does, or fails to do. People will even acknowledge that what is shown is not what is told, and still insist that she 'is' whatever the movie says she is. Even though other characters don't get to be treated this way.

(Steve, for example, doesn't get to be framed as a noble, competent person without him actually, y'know, doing things that are noble and competent. Whereas Peggy gets the framing Steve has to earn.)

also with peggy ngl it's incredibly worrying how quick people are to explain away a white British woman's moral failings and just flat out horrible choices just because? what, she's a white British woman and you don't believe she could be just as horrible as a white British man? like it seems not that deep but the perceived innocence around white women goes incredibly far and wide and that's 100% what happened with peggy imo

yeahhh i mean not surprising mcu fans dismiss a lot of horrible things from white male characters too (i mean i’m probably somewhat guilty of that steve is my fave and all and i’m v defensive of him so like i get it)

i do think it’s also the fact that it’s just kind of glossed over in the mcu, like we know that shield recruited zola but it never delves into the fact that peggy would’ve been responsible as the director at that time, so like if fans aren’t being explicitly told she was wrong, they’re not gonna see it, i certainly didn’t until recently

#antipeggy #antisteggy #cynthia glass #p*ggy meta #mcu critical #steggy is hydra trash party #meta #mcu meta

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buckmepapi · 3 years ago

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Bunch of new agents looking at the Avenger!reader nastily (mainly out of jealousy for being with buck and being a hot ass skilled avenger) for hearing her screams and moans of pleasure last night. She then hears someone talking to each other, not knowing she’s right behind them. “She was so loud last night, I’m sure she’s just faking it so she could brag that she fucked the white wolf” says one, “I know right? I’m not sure why Bucky even likes her? And her sounds? It’s annoying, he must be tired of hearing that but fucks her cause she’s easy.”

Being the badass reader that she is, she goes “first of all, it’s Sergeant Barnes to any of you. Second of all, that’s just what happens when your lover is an insatiable super soldier. So, no he isn’t tired nor annoyed, in fact, he loves it. I’m sorry you never felt utterly loved by someone that you had to second guess ours. Lastly, I suggest you just enjoy the show from the sidelines or focus on your training, your evaluation shows you’re only good at bad mouthing”

I just thot abt this after watching some spicy vids. At first I was like god she’s so loud, but after, I realized, god, she’s being ✨railed✨ in the best way so I couldnt really blame her. Then bam. The hoe thots. So do what u want with it! Just dropping by hehe I hope ur healthy and safe 💗

Scream for me // part I

Summary: what happens when Bucky comes to defend your honour but a secret is almost revealed instead?

Word count: 6.8k (of pure porn with some plot at the end)

Pairings: feral!possessive!bucky x f!avenger!reader

(As with all my fics, reader is afab, but other than that she does not look a certain way in terms of race etc, I try to make my fics inclusive as possible and avoid certain words that are white centric, if I’ve missed anything do let me know and I’ll correct it. Much love. ❤️)

Warnings: smut smut smut smut gratuitous SMUT minors DNI 18+ ONLY. Daddy kink, breeding kink, a brief slap to the face, praise and degradation, brief glimpse of Bucky’s future wife kink, creampie, piv unprotected sex, feral!needy!possessive!bucky, dirty talk that’s so filthy I feel the need to repent, belly bulge, super soldier amounts of cum, d/s dynamics sub!reader and dom!bucky, squirting, mentions of ovulation and fertility, —angst like a lot of angst at the end, Bucky being violently protective of reader, threats of death, threats of torture, Steve, Sam, Nat and Tony make an appearance at the end. Cliffhanger ending to be continued in part 2. Straight into nsfw below the cut

A/N: Ooooh, spicey vids you say? 🥵

I love your brain! This is a great idea, I didn’t go with the direct dialogue in this, but went with the idea instead. However I decided to change it up where it’s not reader defending their relationship, but Bucky instead…for reasons. 🤫 Thank you sweet nonnie for such a lovely idea for a one shot— I have great ideas for part 2 so I hope I can further do your wonderful idea justice there as well!

In a separate unrelated story to this one shot I feel like he would go absolutely ape shit and almost kill them, then throw her over his shoulder and fuck her absolutely feral-like and possessed in the next room to the point where she’s unintentionally ten times louder than the night before and then he comes back into the room sweating and disheveled like “problem?” LMAO —

please stop bloody asking to be added to taglists.

main masterlist | b.b masterlist | about | navi | library

Part II / part I.I - the alternative version

“Come on, baby, come on” Bucky panted dripping with sweat, your small dainty hands finding purchase wherever they could along his broad shoulders and back as he relentlessly pounded into you “scream for me, babydoll, scream how good I fuck you so this whole damn compound knows who’s cock is tearing you o-open — fuck!” Bucky was growling and groaning above you as you struggled with all the strength and will power you had left in your limp fucked out body to keep your eyes open and focused on your man. You loved watching the faces he pulled when he was railing you into your mattress but the way he was destroying you right now had your eyes continuously rolling into the back of your skull and it was just taking too much effort to bring them back to focus on his flushed face and gaping mouth. The sweat from his brow line was slowly dripping onto your face as he pushed the back of your knees up to wrap over his thick forearms, he spread his arms out wide, the muscles in his shoulders bulging as he did so, and leant into you further so you were spread impossibly wide and had your tender slapped ass cheeks lifting off the bed.

You felt a further pool of slickness leak from your dripping cunt as you began to imagine what he looked like from behind as he plowed into you without mercy. You imagined the way his wide shoulders must look and how his body slowly narrowed into his hips in a triangle-esque shape, how his muscles must bulge and shift on his back, how his thick arms were at a wide stance must have forced his shoulder blades to be more prominent and push his surrounding upper back muscles out further. You imagined the way his soft perky ass must look as he gyrates his hips into yours with his knees bent, how it must tense into hard steel when you clench around him making him tense up too as he tries to stop himself from cumming too soon. You imagined how red and clawed up his back must be from your desperate pleas to cling onto him like a koala bear, your body so hot and distant from your mind that you felt you might float away if not clutched to his very person. All those sordid thoughts of how your man must look right now was making you wetter by the second which of course, Bucky being the sensitive man that he is, noticed instantly causing him to curse out into the low light of your sweat filled bedroom. You swore that if you looked up you’d probably notice that your bedroom windows were steamed to the nines from your heated breaths and steaming bodies.

By this point, you had been reduced to a fucked out soaking mess who was incapable of getting out even the most basic of sentences, the only thing that could be heard from your open drooling mouth was moaning whimpering pleas of mercy. You couldn’t even hear what Bucky was saying to you. Your ears were ringing and your vision had nearly all but disappeared as you felt like you were in one long continuous earth shattering orgasm as Bucky kept pounding into your g-spot perfectly. His toned abdomen kept striking your swollen and slick covered clit as his focused strokes consisted of hard deep pounding mixed with salacious sinful hip rolls equalling in the most perfect clit grinding that also brutally kissed your cervix. How this man managed to fuck like this continuously you’d never know. Even a man with super soldier stamina had to stop at some point, right?…right?

“I’m gonna fucking destroy your little cunt till it’s permanently left gaping and used” he suddenly said without warning in a gruff voice with a piercing thrust of his hips, his own words and thoughts they conjured up were making him rut into you at an alarming pace.

“When I’m done— ohhhh shit yes, babygirl, give me that fucking pussy” he cried interrupting himself when he felt you gush again at his earlier words ”when I’m done wi-with y-you you’ll be nothing but a mindless little fff-fuckdoll. And when I’m done, oh baby” he chuckled darkly making you break out in goosebumps all over “I’ll. just. Keep. Fucking. Going.” he growled with each devastating slam of his thick long veiny cock inside your battered hole. Your lips were soaking with your slick like an animal mewling in heat, drenched entirely, puffy red and swollen from the onslaught of his thrusts. Sex with Bucky always felt like he was trying his best to ram himself into your womb and you fucking loved it.

”MM you’re—mm, you’re just my little fleshlight, huh, sweetheart?” He asked but heard no response from you.

“Baby?” He whimpered as he felt you cum once more without prior warning, at this point he had lost count of just how many times you had squirted and creamed on his cock, you were throbbing and clenching so much so that it was hard for him to differentiate between pulsing grips and the sensation of you cumming, until he would feel a new squirt of delicious cream push its way out of you.

Bucky was still waiting to receive a response from you but you were lost to the world, barely there stuck somewhere between the dead and the land of the living. Floating. Floating and weightless until the awakening harsh sting of a palm striking your face sent an ice cold bucket of water over your brain and broke you from your reprieve.

“Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you, you dumb little baby” he said in rage as he grabbed your cheeks in his massive flesh hand causing your lips to pout together from the force “I asked you a fucking question” his hips slowed as he started to deliver strokes so devastatingly slow that each harsh thrust let out a little squirt of white cream to coat his entire rigid cock. “I asked if you were my little fleshlight, babygirl. So the question is'' he snarled as he brought his face to yours and pushed his forehead against your own harshly, he stared deeply into your eyes “are you or are you not my glorified little fleshlight? A little toy for me to pump my load into whenever I want wherever I want, my little cockdrunk whore who takes my cock so well, huh? C’mon, tell daddy that’s what you are, sweetheart”

You latched onto Bucky's hair as your back arched against his ministrations, you felt him press his large fleshy palm to your abdomen, captivated by the way your stomach bulged and wanting to stimulate your spot even further “yes! Yes, daddy! Yes, I’mmmmmmm oh fuck —I’m your little toy, love b-bein’ d-daddy’s fleshlight, love when he just uses me to c-cum!” You cried in ecstasy. Your pleasure caused you to be so impressionable that Bucky could probably have got you to repeat or do just about anything and you would have said or done it without hesitation so long as he kept viscously tearing you apart the way he was. If he stopped now, you felt as if you might simply die without his cock, you never wanted his girthy member to ever leave any of your tight holes. You’d take him any place you could have him so long as he stayed right there. Right. The. Fuck. There.

“Yes, fuck— baby, yes” snarling at your words “perfect…you’re perfect—” he rambled to himself in awe of you “m-m-my perfect little fucking who-r-re. Want to cum in you baby, wanna flood this cunt with cum. Need to nut in you, baby— wanna watch your pretty little face when you feel my thick load stick to your walls, my perfect little breeding slut —oh shit!”

The consistent brutal pounding and simultaneous stimulation of your drenched engorged clit had your next orgasm fast approaching. You could feel the familiar tingle radiate in your lower spine and in the pit of your stomach “Daddy im ‘bout to come again,‘bout to squirt!” you whimpered clutching onto his broad form tighter as you struggled to find purpose with your impending orgasm.

“Fuck yeah, babygirl” he moaned breathlessly unabashedly feeling this one to be a bit more powerful than the last due to the way he kept a steady rhythm of beating into your g-spot at the most perfect angle yet.

“I’m all the way in your fucking belly right now, baby, you feel that? D-don‘t —don’t know how you, shit, h-how you’re able to take everything I give you. You’re perfect baby, you always manage to take this huge fucking cock anyway I give it to you, a-anybody else w-would break in half, b-but you? You’re f-fucking made for me, honey, w-we’re l-like two puzzle pieces and we fit— oh my fucking goddddddd, ohhh~ ohh~, Jesus Christ, baby, you’re clenching so damn hard, I can hardly move out of this tight pussy” Bucky’s own sentence was abruptly cut short and the thought ripped from his brain in an instance when your cunt began to constrict so tightly around him that you were almost choking him, your pussy now so wontonly desperate to milk him for all he was worth.

Bucky began to feel the familiar thumping pulse of your heartbeat resonate and throb within your walls, the clenching few and far between each one, your orgasm was building and building and building by the seconds, ready to reach a crescendo that would drain you entirely leaving you dead to the world till the next morning.

Something about Bucky was particularly feral tonight. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, why it felt like he was trying to claim you from the inside out, not that you were complaining, you just wondered if he heard something said about you, usually Bucky gets particularly possessive if he catches someone looking at you for too long or hearing someone make a sexual remark about your body. You didn’t mind it most of the time and you certainly didn’t mind it when it resulted in Bucky spearing you open, but something about his desperate animalistic behaviour tonight paired with his most dirtiest of words yet had you concerned he had heard something particularly harsh. But from the moment he shoved his fat cock in you, your mind had gone to mush and you’d have to hope that only tomorrow your fucked out brain would remember to check up on him.

“Fuck yeah, baby, fucking cum for me, open up that pretty pussy for me, baby. Need to make room for my load, babydoll—wanna make sure all of it gets as deep as possible. Need to make sure it sticks, gonna keep you plugged up all night, I’m gonna keep my rock hard cock in you whilst we sleep and just keep dumping load after load of this cum in to you, by the time you wake up you’ll be so full and be bred so fucking much you won’t even be able to move. My little hole, my little fucking fleshlight, never wanna leave, never wanna leave this tight cunt. Mine. Mine. Mine.” A litany of possessions were whimpered into your neck as Bucky got lost to his own words of control, losing his dominant composure for a brief moment as he mewled into your neck and sucked at your sweet spot desperately wanting to own you even further than he already had and does.

“I-m -I-Im so c-close, keepgoingkeepgoingkeepgoing pleasekeepgoing” you repeated like a prayer to an icon at an alter, Bucky was your god, your Adonis, and your demon. Your fumbling hands clutched on to his pert ass cheeks as you forced him to drive into you deeper, Bucky groaned at the feeling of your desperation and before you knew it your orgasm began to approach closer and closer, the warm tingling feeling tickling your nerves all over your body was getting stronger and hotter as Bucky‘s sinful words and devilish movements continued without mercy.

“I’m gonna cum! Oh fuck oh fuck I’m gonna fucking fun — please please oh god please don’t stop please don’t ever stop!” You sobbed into Bucky's shoulder as you then threw your head back to the soft pillows below you, head tilted, eyes rolling back, mouth agape in a screaming sob. Your clit pulsing a few more times and cunt clenching tightly, one deep grind later and you suddenly went rigid and clenched unbelievably hard. All your muscles had turned to stone as you began to see visions of white blast before your eyes, your breath held as the most perfect feeling flew over your entire body, goosebumps and warm tingles all over every part of you. Still unable to move and breathe, the feeling finally descended as you suddenly went lax in Bucky’s arms, heaving in a massive breath of air to your lungs as you did. Your orgasm continuing as Bucky went slower and deeper than before to extend the delicious and addictive sensation for you as long as possible. Slowly the pulsing in your clit and the tight contractions of your walls began to slow down and grow further apart.

“Thaaaaats it, baby” Bucky comforted when he first felt you begin to cum, stroking your hair out of your face and leaving his palm on your forehead rubbing his thumb softly over your sweaty head, gently tending to you when he felt you suck in a sharp breath and go rigid against him.

That was a powerful one, huh, baby? He thought and chuckled to himself.

“Make some room f’me. C'mon that’s it, there ya go, sweetheart, push it out c’mon, push” . Bucky moaned to you as he felt you squirt when you came, he started a dirty slow deep grind as if he was trying to dig his cock into the deepest depths of your soul, wanting to retrieve a precious treasure from within, his encouraging words meant that tonight had been the most you had ever came in your entire life, you didn’t think it was possible to release any more cum from your abused hole, but apparently it was and Bucky needed as much as he could get, his lower half was glistening in wetness and dripping onto the bedroom floor below as you never stopped dripping onto him.

“Daddy needs to make sure there’s enough room for you to take as much of this nut as possible. Don’t want any of his cum to go to waste, do you? Know how you love how much daddy cums and cums and fucking cums and just keeps filling you till you wanna burst. Love that about you, baby, always hungry for my loads. Gotta feed that pussy, doll, you gonna let daddy feed his special girl? Right? She looks hungry, sweetheart, we don’t want her to feel neglected now do we, huh?”

“Fuck—god, baby, there’s so much cream, never seen you cream so much before, what’s going on, baby? You just extra sensitive today or did daddy deprive you of his cock for too long an’ now you never want me to leave? Tell daddy, doll, tell him why this pussy is so hungry tonight”

“O-o-ov” your whimpering response turning into long drawn out moans when his sudden slow thrust made you feel every single vein, bump, and thickness of his cock against your rigid textured walls. “O-ov, I-I’m o-ovulating” you nearly whispered as you struggled to get out your words still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm leave small little twitches throughout your body and gradually further apart pulses of your cunt against his dick.

“Baby…” he cried into your neck like a wounded animal unbelieving of your perfect confession “f-fuck, really?”

You meekly nodded as your glassy unfocused eyes began to roll back into your head once more.

Bucky snarled and pulled out from you, you were about to object and cry out for him to continue to abuse your hole when he suddenly flipped you like a ragdoll as if you weighed nothing at all, he ripped your legs open and pressed harshly down on your lower back to arch your spine without care for your comfort, using his mental hand to fist your hair and keep your face pushed into the mattress. Bucky looked down to where you two would meet and growled at the jiggling of your supple ass cheeks hypnotised by the way the excess flesh would shake like a delicious mouth-watering, sweet, addictive jelly. Seeing his cock plunge beyond your ass cheeks had him rutting faster.

Bucky felt your back arch upwards towards him when he felt you struggling to deal with the overwhelming sensations of how devastatingly deep he was at this new angle.

“Get the fuck back down” he snapped when he felt you arching against his hold, he pushed back down on the base of your back to encourage your initial deep arch.

“Don’t you dare run from this fucking cock—get back here”

“Good fucking girl” was heared above the roaring in your ears as you painfully obeyed his command.

“You want my kids, baby?” He had asked seemingly out of nowhere.

“Oh god, yes yes!” You sobbed into the fabric of your bed overcome with the thought of actually being bred by your lover and having his children.

“Yeah? shit, yeah , when?? Huh? When?!” He said frantically as he began to spank your sensitive ass repeatedly in a frenzy.

“Now, daddy please, want…w-want that n-now”

“You wanna start trying now?huh? Did you plan this, sweetheart? Think you could tempt me with that fertile pussy knowing t-that you’re ovulating and extra creamy and think you could tempt me? Well you were goddamn right, baby”

“D-d-daddy…”

“Fuck , you feel me all the way in your belly, babygirl? Huh? After today I’m gonna be planted right in there growing life in you. You want that? You wanna have daddy’s babies? Wanna make me a real daddy? S-shiiiiit, god, that pussy’s so tight— Jesus Christ!”

“You’re my fucking wife” Bucky growled to himself clearly lost in a fantasy tonight that had him acting like a glorified caveman. It was as if he was trying to convince himself that you were and actualise it into real life. He didn’t even realise your dumb little baby brain had registered his words until you mewled and involuntarily clenched around him.

“O-oh shit, you like that? Yeah, you like that shit? Want me to wife you up, baby? Yeah I want that so bad wanna have you barefoot and pregnant prancing about our house wearing nothing but a diamond ring —shiiiit, you’d make the perfect wife, so sexy, so smart and kind and beautiful and, shit, you’re gonna be such a good mommy, baby”

“Please, Bucky! I want that so bad… it’s a-all I-I’ve ever wanted w-with y-you, oh oh ohh~”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, gonna give that to you. My powerful sexy badass future little wife and baby mama, that’s what you’ll be, you’re so perfect, my perfect little fuckdoll”

Bucky was a goner, his thoughts had over taken his rational side and left him with nothing but a hindbrain in its place. “Fuck y/n, I can’t hold back anymore, picturing you with my ring on your finger with a swollen belly and huge leaking tits got me wanting to nut so deep in you. ShiT”

“Can i? Can I breed this tight little pussy? God please baby please say yes fuckfuckfuckfuck”

He took your hands once again clutching his ass cheeks and pushing him into you so he couldn’t leave as the only answer he needed.

“Oh god thank you thank you thank you thank you holy shit fuck!”

“fuck, daddy, you’re so fucking deep inside of me , it feels like you’re in my belly right now oh my god”

“Y-y-yeah?? Keep—k-keep talkin’, doll. Fuck, keep. fuckin’.goin’…please” he punctuated his words with hard slamming thrusts, now losing his momentum and whimpering into your neck like a wounded animal.

“Want your cum so fucking deep. Love how much you cum, how it never ends and how you can just keep going and going and going till I’m so fucking full. Want you to make my belly swell with all your cum.. oh my god —please daddy!”

“Shh-iiit, baby— so close, I’m so fucking close, oh god” as Bucky began to feel his lower spine tingle with warmth and his abdomen tense tighter and tighter he rutted into you with less and less rhythm, struggling with all his might to keep moving in and out of you as his arms buckled and his grunts and moans got louder and less controlled. You had no idea when you were moved back to face him but you levitated your hips nonetheless, your ass off the bed to meet his deranged manic thrusts with your own hypnotic grinds.

“Oh! Oh! Ohhh my ggggooooddd” he cried out, face completely smothered in your neck, his hair soaked in sweat from his pained effort to keep going through strained muscles and the light headed floaty dizziness he was currently experiencing as he felt ecstasy begin to take over his whole body. He was utterly lost in the warmth of your tight heat.

“Please, please, daddy, I want your cum! I want it! I want it! please! I want it so bad!” you begged into his ear as he whined into your neck at your desperate pleas, you were now clawing at his broad shoulders as his arms gave out from under him, causing him to collapse onto you, you both screaming out in pleasure at the way he suddenly hit a new angle even deeper.

“C-cum…c-cum with me, please,sweetheart, please” Bucky sounded so broken, so desperate and wanton, more so than he’s ever sounded before. Whatever had upset him earlier and caused him to be so possessive and primal like in the way he rutted into you had now completely evaded him as he got lost in the fantasy of breeding you deeply till he was sure there would be no mistake that you were well and truly his forever. Bucky sequestered all the willpower he had left in his slowly withering body to wedge his metal hand between your sweaty bodies inching it to your core to stimulate your hot bundle of nerves. At this point your clit was so engorged, so swollen, and covered in your own glistening wetness that the slightest of touches was enough to throw you over the edge. So utterly sensitive in fact that the gentlest of swirls from Bucky’s Vibranium fingers around your nub would have catapulted you into another gut wrenching orgasm, and it did. Your skin felt like it was on fire. You were still struggling with your core strength to meet Bucky's frantic thrusts with your own undulations, causing him to now go too deep having it border on being painful (but you didn’t care, you liked when it hurt so good like this), he was breaching your cervix kissing the very edges of it sharply, you were both fucking like wild feral beasts searching for that basic primal feeling of pleasure innate within you both. Grunts, growls, whimpers, mewls, and moans from your both in equal measure were sending a cacophony of sounds that were echoing throughout your home as your over stimulated clit had you feeling a slight tender burn from the overuse of how much you had cum tonight, you would surely feel this burning, and the core aching sensations, the following morning, but as of right now the pain was bearable due to the overwhelming feeling of intense pleasure that was almost within each of your grasps.

You once again catapulted into pleasure, this time without the usual prior warning as you screamed out Bucky’s name over and over again. Bucky’s hips stuttered at the unexpected feeling of you clenching around him so quickly.

Your brain was too far gone to warn him that you were cumming. Bucky could no longer hold on now, he allowed himself the undeniable consuming pleasure of getting lost in ecstasy as he cried into you.

“Oh fuck! I-I-m gonna cum I’m gonna cum I’m gonna f-fucking cum. Oh shit y/n I’m cumming I’m cumming I’m cu—“ Bucky’s body went taught within you when he let out a pained stuttering whimper as his legs began to buckle and shake from the intense pleasure, falling into your slick skin even further. The force of the fountain of creamy sticky seed travelling at lightning speed from his huge painful looking balls and then making the treacherous and long journey of propelling through his creamy white shaft (courtesy of you) and bursting from his uncut head was so powerful that it was directly what had caused him to collapse on top of you. His ass cheeks clenched tightly as he felt a huge continuous load flow deep into your sensitive core.

Screams of “oh” and “ahh” and a litany of curses came from Bucky in rough growls and crying whimpers as he continued to pour his never ending stream into you, slowly rutting in and out only by an inch or so (as he was too desperate to stay close and pinned to you to come out any further) as he began to ride the waves of his earth shattering soul wrenching orgasm.

You were barely conscious, just within your own body enough to feel how powerful his spurts of seed were against your walls. So powerful and so thick in fact that you could actually feel how warm the liquid was as it shot into you at an incredible force.

You felt it stick inside you and cling to your walls as you laid there barely awake and let him breed you fully and deeply.

“Ooh fuck” he cried as he rested his metal palm against your bulging abdomen, feeling where his still rock hard strained cock was nudging your womb and where his continuous spurts of creamy cum were beginning to show as you subtly swelled. Bucky was a super soldier, the advanced serum paired along with his 70 years of involuntary abstinence and touch deprivation had not only meant that he was insatiable enough to meet your own hungry sexual appetite, but it also meant that he had an ungodly somewhat medically alarming amount of cum stored in those heavy balls of his.

That same serum also made sure that he could breed you so full that you’d be satiated enough to pass right out to sleep, hunger fed and womb filled.

Bucky was still sleepily rutting into you and rubbing circles on your abdomen as you too struggled to stay awake, desperate to feel the filling sensation strain your cervix before you would both ultimately pass out together.

“Sssshittt, am still cummin’” he drunkenly slurred in shock into your previously ravished neck, “sucha good girl takin’ all o’it inside, Shh shhh, fuck it’s almost done, little longer, baby” Bucky cooed, sloppily kissing your temple and the side of your face in an attempt to find comfort in his exhausted pussy drunk state.

After a few more minutes, the final spurts of Bucky’s potent seed and been reduced to slow dribbles. Bucky was now planted behind you, spooning your tired form, whispering sweet nothings in to your ear to placate you further.

“Shh, Shh. Did so fucking well for me, doll”

“Lookityou, all swollen and and sleepy and fucked out, this is exactly what it’ll be like when I get you pregnant, honey”

“My good girl, can’t believe how much of my load you took, Jesus, you must be so full right now, doll. No wonder you’re sleepy, that cock putting you right to bed, huh? Good, my future baby mama needs all the rest she can get because I’m no way near fuckiny done with you yet”

“Get some rest, lil mama. I love you so much” Bucky sighed dreamily as he buried his face on to your shoulder blades and continued to rub your abdomen as you sleepily replied that you loved him too, always.

When you woke up after that night, head lying on Bucky’s naked chest, your hand placed upon his peck, you noticed him staring down at you with such love and adoration in his eyes. You beamed up at him, raising your hand to stroke his jaw tenderly when you caught sight of the diamond engagement ring on your finger reflecting the warm rays of the early morning sun peaking through your curtains. You gasped as you took your hand away from his face, Bucky missing your warm touch already, you sat up straight, the covers falling from your naked chest as you brought the ringed had to your face and gazed at it with a mix of shock and awe, your heart beating and pounding in your chest as you slowly turned your head to look back at Bucky who was now full on his side leaning on his arm to watch you with a beaming smile.

No words were needed as you launched yourself at him, Bucky letting out a small “oof” when you fell onto him and launched him on to his back. You peppered his stubbled face with kisses and hugged him tightly as he brought his arms around you and squeezed you back.

“I’ll take that as a yes then?” He asked smugly

“It was always going to be ‘yes’ for you, James. I’m so happy right now”

Bucky’s eyes were glassy as he held back his tears, looking down at you and kissing the top of your head as he held you close.

“Me too, babydoll, me too”

Ever since the night that he made you his fiancé he had been more insatiable than ever. Obsessed with the way your diamond clad hand looks wrapped around his cock, plowing into you with a feral intensity that can only be described as a man desperate to see his future wife full with his children.

His new primal animalistic nature had meant that Bucky would take you anywhere and everywhere when he could no longer hold back his inhibitions, resulting in team members walking in on you both or Bucky just simply ripping you from a chat with natasha and wanda in the living room to fuck you full in the next room and then plonk you back on the sofa all flustered and flushed next to your friends, and stroll out the room with a cocky swagger like nothing had ever happened.

But because of that, it also meant that new recruits had heard you both too. You had started out as a recruit too once when you first met Bucky and fell in love, and now these new recruits unfortunately looked like they had been talking about you both for quite some time which was evident when you overheard their latest conversation as you walked into the gym.

You were a strong independent woman but you weren’t ashamed of the fact that you liked when Bucky took care of you or took charge in the bedroom, just like how Bucky was secure enough in his masculinity to adore how you also took care of him or when he found it undeniably sexy when you took charge in the bedroom. You didn’t really care what people thought about you and your relationship with him. However, it was one thing to assume what people thought of you and tell yourself that you didn’t care, and an entirely other thing to actually hear the words of criticism and hatred out loud. It played on your carefully constructed confidence and self worth, Bucky knew how hard you had worked to maintain a healthy mindset that both kept you positive and determined but also welcomed sadness and anger when it came. Toxic positivity was something you loathed, sadness and anger should be embraced, you should be allowed to cry and wallow for a little while, but it was important to know when to pull yourself back up so as to not get too consumed by it.

You hardly ever cried. You got emotional sometimes, sure, but crying was not something you did often and Bucky had been noticing it more and more. You normally would have given those recruits a piece of your mind so the fact that you started crying was making you cry even more in frustration at yourself.

When Bucky saw you rushing back to the living space you shared with him inside the compound, he went berserk. Bucky knew expressing even negative emotions at times was good for mental health, but it still didn’t mean that on the off chance he saw you cry that it didn’t make him absolutely furious with rage wanting to snap the neck of whatever or whomever reduced you to tears.

“Bucky, wait!” You said through your sniffles as you sobered up to the realisation that he might actually kill these people.

Your pleas fell on deaf ears as he swung the front door open, slamming it against the adjacent wall from the sheer strength he exuded and continued to march down the hall towards the gym.

When he reached the gym doors he launched them off their hinges to the middle of the room as he kicked them open with his black combat boots.

All eyes moved to the looming finger at the end of the gym as he began to approach them methodically.

“Bucky, stop! Please!” You screeched in horror at the chaos he was leaving in his wake.

“Yeah! Why don’t you listen to your slutty little girlfriend!” One of the male recruits shouted across to Bucky. Clearly he was under the impression that Bucky wouldn’t actually kill them or lay a finger on them because they were in the avengers tower surrounded by earths mightiest hero’s, clearly he was wrong.

Bucky’s head snapped in the direction of the idiotic man who insulted you in front of him “what did you just fucking say?” He asked lowly now towering over him to his full height and then crouching slightly to bring his face inches from his and glare into the depths of his soul.

The man gulped. Confident composure crumbling ever so slightly as he realised perhaps he may actually kill me because there is certainly no one coming to his rescue.

“I asked you a fucking question!” He roared as the statement echoed off the gymnasium walls. The other recruits flinched at the loud sound but didn’t move from their spots, rooted to the ground in fear.

In one alarmingly quick and swift mood you watched in fascinated horror as Bucky’s body pressed the man in to the wall, pinning him by his neck with his Vibranium arm.

“I warned you a long long fucking time ago” he sneered nostrils flaring as he fought with himself not to snap the recruits neck “that if you ever. And I mean ever talked about my girl like that again I would fucking skin you alive. So tell me right fucking now why my best girl has come back to our place crying her heart out over some worthless little runts in our gym. Hmm?”

“We-w-w-we’re sorry, man, we didn’t mean anything by it”

Bucky pressed his forearm harder against the man’s throat as he clawed at Bucky’s metal arm. Bucky sensed movement from the corner of his peripheral vision as another recruit moved to sneak up on Bucky and save his friend. Bucky wasted no time in punching the man straight in the face without taking his eyes off the recruit in front of him. He turned away from Bucky and watched in horror as his friend was catapulted across the room.

“Everytime one of your friends tries to interrupt our conversation I’m going to take a finger. It won’t be pretty, I didn’t bring my knife with me so I’ll just have to rip it from its socket with my Vibranium arm. And trust me, I’ve done it before so I know how to do it in the longest most torturous way possible” he growled into the paling man’s face.

Sounds of numerous people’s feet were heard running down the hall to get to the source of all the loud bangs and screaming. Steve slid to a halt at the scene in front of him feeling like he had entered the den of a hungry and feral lion. He could smell the fear in the air, the blood, the sweat, and hear the eerily steady beat of his best friends heart as he towered over the cowering man against the back wall.

Tony, Natasha, and Sam were the only other people in the compound this week so they all came bursting into the room after Steve.

“What the hell is going on in here?!” Tony said as he took sight of the damaged doors and the body of a recruit laying unconscious in the far corner

“Bucky?” Steve asked lowly as he slowly approached his friend, apprehension in his voice as he was worried somehow the winter soldier had returned.

His worries were momentarily erased when he heard his friend reply a “yes, Steven?” In a bored tone.

“Someone better tell me what’s going on right now before I lose my cool!” Tony scolded as he flicked his wrists tapping his arm and bringing his nanotech suit to his hands, arming himself.

“Ah” Bucky chuckled darkly. His back still to the group as the man pressed to the wall was pleading with the avengers over Bucky’s broad shoulders.

He grabbed the man by the back of his neck with his metal arm and twisted them around to face the group.

“We we’re just getting to the bottom of why….” He trailed off and shook the man by his nape

“Jacob” the recruit squeaked our understanding the que

“Why Jacob here didn’t heed my earlier warning to shut the fuck up, and then decided to make my girl over there cry” Bucky gestured to you with Jacob that was still in his harsh grip

The team turned their focus to you as they saw your red rimmed eyes and pale face.

“Y/n?” Natasha whispered “are you okay?” She approached you slowly as you shook your head no and let out a small sob, your shoulders shaking rapidly as you tried to keep in your tears and sadness to yourself. She wrapped you in a warm embrace as she cuddled you to her chest and stroked the back of your head. You curled your arms around her waist and sniffled quietly as she began to coo words of comfort at you.

“So, Jacob, the floor is yours” Bucky said as he threw him ti the ground causing him to let out pained yelp as he fell on to his wrists with s sickening crack.

Bucky crouched next to him as Jacob sobbed “ a few weeks ago Jakey boy here made the unfortunate mistake of saying some disgusting things about y/n when I was within earshot. Started talking about our sex life, calling my future wife a slut and a whore, because his virgin limp dick ass was jealous that a real man knows how to please his girl. Him and his little friends started to talk about how she was easy too”

Natasha looked down at you as she furrowed her brows. Usually you could handle something like that and fight back, probably knock them on their asses, but you didn’t.

“Come on, man” Sam groaned “that’s so stupid and unnecessary, you know white wolf over here has super hearing, not to mention talking about one of our own won’t go well for you”

“Well good luck to you, you’re own your own” Tony said as he let down his arms but continued to watch the free show in front of him

“I warned him. I told him if it wasn’t for my girl in the next room that I would skin him alive for what he said. But then I find my best girl crying in my arms and now I want to know what the FUCK he said to her to make her so upset”

“Friday, audio playback of recruit Jacob Athens and his friends from this room”

“Wait—no!” You shouted as your turned from Natasha’s arms causing Bucky to look at your with a raised brow in confusion

“Yes, sir. The time is currently fifteen hundred hours, what time would you like the audio to play from?” The automated voice rang out through the compounds integrated speakers.

“Tony, please don’t” you pleaded as he looked at your strangely.

“From whenever agent y/n l/n was within normal ear shot of the gym and then till she left the room”

“Very good sir”

A crackling noise was heard as the audio was located and began to play throughout the room.

Shit.

3K notes · View notes

ltbarnes · 2 years ago

Text

One Look, Dark Room

[Stark U #4]

Summary: A nightmare that forces you to face what happened to you all those months ago leads you to Steve’s doorway, searching for the kind of comfort only he can give you. But you’re not the only one who craves the soothing timber of Steve’s voice, and that knowledge might just dig up things you aren’t ready to accept.

Pairing: college!Steve Rogers x reader, college!Bucky Barnes x reader, college!Sam Wilson x reader, college!Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: mentions of previous sexual assault, language, nightmares, a little more Steve-heavy in this one and he is so soft

A/N: Back after another two months with another fic with my fave friend group! Honestly, the love on this series means so much and has really kept me going when it comes to writing. Thank you <3

Also, I recommend reading With a Little Help From Your Friends before this one if you haven’t already. It touches on really important events from that part!

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

With a painful gasp, desperate to breathe in air into your aching lungs, your eyes are forced open wide. You're on the verge of shooting up to a seat, just like in all the movies but never experienced yourself. The nightmare was suffocating and you couldn't stand another second.

An onslaught of air draws raspy coughs from your chest, springing tears to your eyes that accompany the ones already running down your cheeks. It's never felt this way before, has it? It's never been this bad, never clogged your throat with fear, never left your skin shivering with the pictures of the nightmare leaving behind a trail of goosebumps.

You haven't thought about what happened in the kitchen ever since the day it occurred. The memory got shoved down, buried under the school work and injuries and lazy nights on the couch. Buried underneath the constant attention from your friends. You've barely been alone for the past months.

It was almost forgotten, in a way. The feeling of his hands digging into your skin, his mouth drawing red marks on your collarbone, his warm breath on your neck was left to gain dust in the back of your mind. Your dream drew every trace of his offense up to the surface.

You've held no resentment towards Natasha for bringing that guy into your collective apartment. She could have never foreseen him sneaking out in the middle of the night to ambush you in the kitchen, but you've noticed her silent guilt in moments when she's reminded. It seems like it happens more often for her. But now, god, now it's crashing into you in insurmountable waves, waves that you can't ride past by yourself.

In the middle of your bed, sheets bunched around your waist, you're crying to the point where you're heaving. The nightmare left such a vivid picture of his assault, of what could have happened if Sam hadn't barged in just at the right moment. And despite the memory of him lingering on your skin, you crave someone else's comforting touch. Someone who isn't that man.

It's entirely dark as you step inside the quiet room, with the only proof of living being Steve's soft snores that escape his lips every few seconds. Though the darkness impairs your vision completely, you still feel the presence of another.

It's an unwelcome feeling, but mostly unexpected, when your throat tightens just a little further as you stare at the bed. The thought of another person laying in Steve's arms at night feels wrong. Maybe it has a lot more to do with the rareness of it rather than your own feelings. Steve is so dedicated and loyal to the group of people you've managed to pull together that each time you find him spending time with someone else, it leaves a bitter aftertaste on your tongue.

You're stuck in the doorway, staring out into the dark room as your eyes slowly, piece by piece, begin to adjust. You can't leave. God, you want to. You want to head back to your room and continue your reclusive crying session, but you need the comfort and reassurance only Steve can bring even more. Your feet are stuck to the ground, forcing you to torture yourself by staying long enough to make out the shape of the person laying in the bed beside Steve.

"Y/n?"

The soft and sleep-affected voice brings you back to reality, drawing your eyes to the now awake and confused Steve. His head still rests on the pillow, tiredly watching your tense figure in the doorway.

"You okay?" he asks, confusion turning into concern.

With a gulp you force yourself to open your mouth, desperately trying to keep down the thickness of your voice that's been building up ever since you woke up with a panicked gasp.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna bother you. Go back to sleep, Steve," you mumble, nearly whispering to avoid revealing the obvious urge to cry.

Steve sits up in his bed, letting the thin sheet fall down until it drapes over his hips, baring his chest to the cold night air that creates goosebumps on your skin. You slowly turn around, your hand brushing the doorframe as you step over the threshold.

"Hey, wait," Steve calls out so quietly you wouldn't be able to hear it if it weren't for the lack of any other sound in the room. "You're not bothering me. What happened?" he says as he slips off the bed, standing up hesitantly. You stop in your tracks, shaking your head lightly.

"It's nothing. Jus' had a nightmare, that's all," you whisper, still facing the hallway. The gaze of Steve is evident as it burns into your back. "But you have company. I'm just gonna leave." You furrow your brows, biting your lip to stop a shaky breath of air from escaping your mouth.

"It's just Bucky," Steve says softly. "Got a nightmare himself. Couldn't sleep," he explains.

The relief in your body is immediate, letting your tense shoulders fall down and breathing go back to normal. However close Steve and Bucky have been for their whole lives, you didn't realize they trusted each other enough to comfort each other like this. It's beautiful.

You nearly flinch as Steve's warm hand touches your shoulder, gently turning you around to meet his eyes.

"You've been crying," he says to himself as he observes your face. How he can see that in the darkness is beyond you, and still it's so very Steve. You nod, casting your gaze down to the floor.

"C'mere," Steve whispers, glancing back towards the bed. You shake your head softly, letting out a small breath through your mouth.

"But Bucky's there—"

"Bucky will be fine. You need to sleep," Steve says, leading you towards his enormous bed that could easily fit two more if he wanted to. "You're here for a reason, aren't you?"

The floor creaks underneath your feet as you reluctantly walk over to his enormous bed. How he afforded it, let alone fit it into the apartment, is a mystery that you have no energy to solve. Crying is much more draining than you remember it being. Your head is aching, mouth is dry, your skin cold to the touch.

Steve drapes his comforter over your shivering figure before climbing back into the bed. Even the thought of Bucky waking up, upset over the new addition in the bed he's laying in, doesn't hinder your heavy eyes from growing shut as you press yourself down further into the warm sheet. Your back is facing both of them, body scooted as close to the edge as you can, but only the presence of Steve a feet away from you is calming your erratic nerves down.

"We'll talk about what's bothering you when you've gotten some sleep," Steve tells you, his deep, husky voice sending shivers down your skin. "I know you don't usually have them. Nightmares, I mean."

"I don't," you answer him softly.

"Just—I...you know. You can always come here if you want to," he adds. "I don't mind. Having you here."

Whatever answer you could have for his words doesn't seem good enough for the kindness he shows you each time you lay eyes on him. His friendship is a blessing you could not fathom taking for granted, not when he invites you to intrude on his space like this when he doesn't even know what the reason is for your tears. It's nice to know that someone loves you like that.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

09:23. Friday morning. No classes. Much too quiet and much too empty in the loft. Both Sam and Natasha can agree on that as they lock eyes in the living room with raised eyebrows. By this time at least 4 out of 5 residents should have dragged their sleep deprived bodies out of their beds. The coffee machine should be on a constant loop. The TV should be buzzing in the background. Not a single sound can be heard except for their own breaths.

"Where the fuck is everybody?" Natasha seethes.

"Why are you asking me for?" Sam tells her, raising his coffee cup to his lips. "Don't know what they're up to. Sleeping in, probably."

"You know just as well as I that Steve doesn't wake up a minute past 7:00 if he can help it," she answers accusingly.

"You're looking at me like I did something. Why are you looking at me like that?" Sam asks, an amused glint in his eyes that only Sam Wilson can muster up in the morning.

Natasha scoffs, turning on her heel towards your room. If you slept in, it wouldn't surprise her in the least. It's just that she demands your company and if that means dragging you out of your cave of blankets and pillows, it will be done despite the risks. It just happens to be everyone's day off and it's raining outside and she wants you to bake her scones for breakfast.

Fucking empty. Your sheets are thrown to the floor, dimmed morning light pushing in through the gap between your curtains and the window. Natasha isn't one to fuss over things, not at all. She rarely even does so when there's a reason for it either. But your absence is quite unusual, after all. Especially this early in the morning, defined by your standards, of course.

"She's not here, Sam!" she shouts over her shoulder.

"Okay," he answers indifferently from the couch.

Natasha strolls into the living room again, running her hand through her red strands.

"She sleeping over somewhere secret, do you think?"

"Y/n?" Sam asks, as if the subject isn't obvious. "No. Bucky'd sing on fucking stage before that happens."

"Have a little faith in her, will you? It's not like she's entirely celibate," she scoffs.

"I know she isn't. Jus' that she's too scared to stay at some stranger's place. It's not like the three of you wouldn't text her every hour like overbearing parents if she did, either."

She scowls at him, picking up a pillow from the armchair to throw at his unsuspecting figure. Sam lets out an offended breath of air, flipping both of his fingers towards the redhead as he nods towards the coffee cup a few inches away from him.

"Don't talk like you wouldn't be all over it too. It's not our fault the girl's got no survival skills."

"Yeah, yeah," Sam sighs. "Go look for Bucky or something instead. I don't wanna talk to you anymore."

Sometimes there comes a moment when Natasha forgets why she is friends with Sam. Those moments also coincide with the urge to whack him in the head. Maybe break a bone or two. This moment is one of those.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Despite the blinds being shut, like each night before Steve goes to bed, the gloomy light still trickles into the room and casts shadows across the space. Some of them have reached you, dancing over your hair as the stray locks stick out from underneath the comforter. Another streak has landed on Bucky's arm, reflecting the light until it concentrates onto the wall opposite of him.

Somehow in his sleep, Steve has maneuvered you over his entire figure. He's certain you were perched onto the utmost corner of the bed when you fell asleep a few hours earlier. It did look like you were bound to fall off sooner or later during the night—maybe his subconscious knew that even in his sleep. At least that's the best reason he has for it, now that you're laying squeezed in between his and Bucky's bodies, both of their arms holding you tightly like you might slip away if their grip was any looser.

Normally Steve would shy away from the kind of intimacy this situation brings, having his friend so closely pressed to his figure. But it feels right. It feels right that you're laying in between him and Bucky, finding some peace after your nightmare left you thinking it was better to stay awake than to face whatever you saw in your sleep.

With Bucky he's used to the frantic fear in his eyes after a grueling flashback leaves him unable to rest his eyes again. It's been like that for years. Despite how sad it feels to say that he's become all too accompanied with his friend's pain, he was reminded of the near indifference he's developed against it when your tear-streaked face turned up in his doorway last night.

Steve was almost scared you had been hurt again. It feels like you've been it much too often these past few months. His absence during those moments still guilts him, keeps him awake for too long during those sleepless nights. Maybe he's overthinking it too much, because he knows it's not something you dwell on. It's not like you're holding any resentment against him for not being there, not at all, but that doesn't mean he will refrain from it himself.

He leans his head over his shoulder, squinting, as the door creaks open slowly. Strands of red hair peek through the cracks before he sees her face, but it's not hard to figure out that Natasha's the one with her fingers on the door handle. Her eyes flicker over the scene, rather suspiciously, before she even notices that Steve is looking at her just as curiously as well.

But she does feel the weight of his stare eventually, gaining eye contact with the blue-eyed gaze while raising questioning eyebrows herself.

"What are you doing?" she whispers through a seethe, eyes once more drawn to where Bucky has his arm draped over your waist. If it weren't for Steve's nearly supernatural hearing it would be hard to hear her whispers over Bucky's snoring.

Steve rubs his eyes, groaning quietly to himself, while glancing back at the two people behind him again. "They had nightmares," he answers huskily, voice still hoarse from the lack of use.

"Both of them?" she asks, a soft smirk on her lips that tells him she's not really believing it. Natasha often has theories or what not about feelings and crushes and things like that around the loft. But then again, she just as often pairs people up with strangers based on imaginary long glances or a smile thrown over their shoulders. It's not always true.

"Yes. Both of them," Steve repeats, flopping down onto the mattress once more. He is a patient person, but in the morning it takes a while for it to come to life. Having Nat interrogate him is not his ideal start to the day. "Now, please, Natasha. Let them sleep."

Another head pops inside, leans his hands against the doorway while stretching his torso until he towers over Nat. Sam's indifferent face turns into a smug grin, nodding towards Steve in approval.

"Looks like you got lucky. Twice."

"Lower your voice, please," Steve mutters, running his palm over his face.

"Nu-Uh," the man says, shaking his head in amusement while searching for Nat's gaze for what could only be approval. A 'you see this too, right?'

"Steven Grant Rogers." Sam flashes the gap in between his front teeth. "You saucy little minx!"

Even Natasha turns her head, sending a soft glare his way. It's still you he's talking about, still his friends.

"And Y/n too? I always thought Buck and you had something going on—"

"Samuel."

It's that tone—the one Steve uses whenever he's serious. Real serious. The one that carries such authority that it tells people he must have been a high-ranking military officer in a previous life. It never fails to shut Sam up. Sometimes even Bucky listens to it.

"Get out. I mean it—both of you."

Steve has resorted to sitting up, nodding towards the doorway with a cold stare and clenched jaw. It leaves the two of them nodding, wide-eyed, before scurrying out. The door is left open and abandoned for only a few seconds before a pale hand reaches for it, closing it as gently as she possibly can.

A loud sigh, hands running over his face, accompanied by a groan is what wakes you. Or you might have noticed some commotion during the awakening of your conscious mind, but the overbearing warmth you're surrounded with hasn't registered until now. Neither has Steve's half-naked body in the space you previously occupied, you were sure of it, or the feeling of Bucky's arm draped tightly over your waist. Everything is too hot and sweaty and close and, god, Bucky's entire front is pressed against your back.

The images from your nightmare flashes, attacks your sight, taunts you with what really is a memory. You thought it would help sleeping here, having the presence of Steve—your endlessly kind, strong, overbearing mother hen—right by your side. No one can corner you into the kitchen counter, put their hands on your skin and make you bleed when Steve is near. But it's still there, still making your ears ring with the thought of him. You need to leave.

Tangling Bucky's metal arm away from you, and the sheets, is suddenly the hardest thing ever and you're certain a minute passes by before you're crawling off the bed with rushed motions that must be as ungracious as it possibly can be.

"Morning. I'm sorry abo—what are you doing? Y/n?" Steve starts off with a tired yawn, rubbing his eyes awake, before his voice quickly falters into confusion while watching you scramble off in a hurry.

You run your hands over your face, feet meeting the cold surface of Steve's mat-less floors. How incredibly humiliating all of this is, coming to Steve's room after a nightmare for consolation like a child. Curling up to an unknowing Bucky in his sleep—he'd positively panic if he woke to your figure pressed against him right now—and most definitely Steve as well. Oh god, did you roll over him in your sleep? Did he wake up while you did so? And Nat and Sam saw you too. You feel like you might cry again.

"Hi. I'm—I have to go," you force out of yourself as you hastily walk towards the door, lacking the courage or dignity to look him in the eye. "Good night. Morning."

And he sits there, all silent and stunned and half-tempted to go after you. Only a few hours earlier, when you'd come into his room with soft steps and a just as gentle voice, he thought he'd made it clear there was nothing to be ashamed about. He thought he had made that clear about everything in your friendship.

But now he sees your figure disappear out into the hallway. The t-shirt he's pretty sure you stole from someone in this loft is old and disheveled and exposes the delicate lace of your underwear. Your hair is messy in the way it always is after you've had a particularly good night of sleep. And maybe that is some sort of comfort, to know that you've at least slept good while you laid in his bed, but your obvious discomfort now overshadows it.

Steve's not really sure what to do except attempt to rub his eyes awake, letting the cool autumn air engulf his exposed skin. He's still acutely aware of Bucky's sleeping presence next to him. The poor guy must have been traumatized by the dream—he never sleeps this long. But maybe the addition of you next to him lulled him into a deeper sleep.

Steve's not sure and he's conflicted and he's also scared. Because he's not supposed to feel this way, like the bed is so, so empty when you're not there anymore. And his heart feels much too big for his chest while it simultaneously feels a little cracked, seeing you so evidently broken from whatever happened in your subconscious last night.

When he looks at the clock, six minutes have passed since you left. He's sure he spent at least half an hour pondering. The floor is cold as it meets his bare feet, creaking underneath the weight of him while he makes his way out of his room. He tugs at his pants, trying to rid himself of his half-hard dick he always wakes up with. It's not something he wants to confront you with.

Sam and Natasha sit quietly in the kitchen over their breakfast, giving each other glances that tell a conversation on their own. They don't even have to say it out loud, what they're speculating over. Steve feels their stares even as he passes by within a second.

He doesn't bother knocking on your door, even if it makes him feel like a douchebag. The voice of his mother nags at him in the back of his mind as he steps inside of your dark room. You've buried yourself underneath two blankets and a comforter, and mostly Steve thinks that he would combust by the heat if he did the same.

The remaining space in his thoughts is taken up by the sound of your sobs. Muffled by the thick layers of fabric around you, but Steve hears them all the same. And he sighs—not because he's disappointed or annoyed or tired, but because it's heartbreaking.

Your bed dips underneath the weight of Steve, a safe distance between you that alerts you to his presence softly. You knew he'd come after you. It's just the way Steve is.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart. It's okay, 's just me," Steve says softly, reaching out for you by unwrapping the layers.

You let him. How could you not? You cry even harder. It's too hard keeping it all in.

"Come here, honey."

His arms effortlessly lift you up, forces you to sit before brushing the sweaty strands of hair away from your face. There's probably snot running down your nose and hulking noises making their way out of your mouth. All you can focus on is that your head pounds and throat aches.

"Come back to my room, will you? Please, Y/n?" he speaks into your hair, holding you to his chest while letting your tears soak his skin.

You nod in answer. Stupid, convincing Steve. So perfect. It makes you mad. Why couldn't he just be an idiot enough to let you be? Why does he have to make things better just by saying a few words, holding you to his stupidly muscly chest? It almost makes you sob harder.

"You're so annoying," you say through your tears, clinging onto him as he lifts you with an ease that doesn't scare you anymore. You don't know why he's this strong.

"That's right, sweetheart," he says, hands under your thighs and eyes on the path in front of him.

Steve feels more at ease as soon as he enters his own room. Even if it only took half a minute to walk through the hallway, past the kitchen and his friends' curios stares, your sobs have died down into sniffles.

You're a stubborn person. But only sometimes—in some cases it only takes two tries, two encouragements to make you budge. You fled earlier, embarrassed by your own emotions, but now you're curled up in Steve's arms in his bed again.

"Listen or help?" Steve whispers, his nose buried in your hair as you sit with your back to his chest.

Those words alone make the thickness in your throat grow. "Listen. Just listen this time."

Steve strokes your hair, runs his fingers over your scalp. How did he become such a good man? Who taught him to be like this?

"What made you this upset, Y/n?"

A big intake of breath and two sniffles. "I'm angry," you tell him. "I'm so fucking angry that he—he did that me. That guy just thought he had some right to...I said no so many times."

Steve tightens his hold on you. He didn't know you still thought about it this much. He does, all the time. It happened just a few rooms away from him and he didn't notice. It's not his fault, he repeats to himself in his head.

"And right after he had been with Nat too! Couldn't he just have stayed with her a few hours? She deserves better than that. I know she was the best sex of that fucking guy's poor life." A hiccup. Sniffle again. "I must be irresistible or something..."

"Sure are," Steve whispers, a smile sneaking up on his face. You sink into him even further, allowing him to bury you in his touch.

"I want to cut off his balls, or something. Or—or send an angry letter to his mom so she won't invite him to the family gatherings anymore. Won't give him any presents on Christmas."

A silent snort escapes Steve's nose. It manages to crack the smallest smile on your lips, even though the tears have yet to dry on your cheeks.

"Actually, I hope that he'll become a worm in his next life and that some three-year old drives over him with their tricycle. No, wait! I—god, I'm being so loud right now."

You sigh, burying your face into Steve's bare chest with a tired giggle as you feel it vibrate along with his own silent laughter.

"I'm sorry. I'm gonna wake him up if I'll—he's gonna panic." The giggles fade out into a frown as you sit up straight, creating distance between you and Steve. "I should—"

"C'mere and shut up, will you?" the newly woken voice of Bucky mutters, face down in the pillows and eyes closed.

You nearly flinch, head turning so abruptly you could have broken your neck. Almost. Bucky's left arm reaches out, fumbles for your waist while Steve looks down fondly at the two of you.

"Shit," you breathe out. "I'm so sorry, Bucky. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Sweets, haven't slept this long in forever. Why'd you think that is, huh?" Bucky mumbles, to the point where you can't make the words out until you've gone over them a few times in your head. And then he has the nerve to use that effortless strength he possesses to pull you down. Right next to him.

Bucky doesn't talk like this, doesn't act like this—at least not nowadays. Not with you. It scares you almost as much as it warms you, sends tingles into your anxious stomach. Sometimes you think about that letter he wrote you. I can whisk you off into the sunset if that's what you want. As long as I don't have to wait fifteen years for it. Now is one of those moments.

He's so warm against you, actually both of them are so warm. And you don't like warmth very much but it's something you'll withstand in moments like these. You can't remember now why you panicked when you woke up with Steve and Bucky around you.

For Bucky, the truth is that he's too tired to filter his thoughts before they make it out of his mouth. He hasn't slept in days, and that over eight hours of peacefulness have passed now is not a coincidence. Bucky heard you come in, heard you even before you stepped inside Steve's room. He'd only been laying with his eyes closed until the bed sunk underneath your weight. Went out like a baby only a few minutes after.

It bothered him too much for his own good when you left in a hurry before. Because he had just woken up, just noticed the feeling of your body pressed up against his. And he felt the tremble in your voice in his very bones as you fled away.

"You don't have to hide your feelings, y'know?" he mumbles, nose pressed against your shoulder. He feels the stare of Steve on him. "Not with us."

"You hold so much in, Y/n. It's not healthy," Steve adds, fingers still fiddling with your hair. "Just let us do the hard work this time. It's been long enough of you tending to everyone else."

Those words—you haven't heard them before. You haven't believed them before. That you're a caretaker is not something that is obvious to you. You don't even see how much time you spend on making things good for everyone in this apartment.

"You’re my best friends. You know that, right?" you whisper with your hoarse voice.

Bucky holds you a little tighter to him. Steve bends down, much too low to be comfortable, and presses a kiss to your head. He's an old soul. So is Bucky, in a way.

"Yeah, yeah," Bucky mutters, but you can almost feel the smile he's hiding. You know he cares.

"Buck," Steve chastises, but he doesn't really know what for. Maybe because the jerk never knows how to process someone showing affection towards him. "You should take it easy today. Let us take care of you. Can you do that for us, Y/n?"

There's this special way Steve says your name. It holds kindness in it, kindness in a way that you've never allowed yourself to feel except for when the syllables of your name is uttered from his mouth.

So you close your eyes, humming lightly in answer while letting the mattress encompass you, claim you as its captive and hold you there for eternity. Or at least until your back starts to hurt or your legs start to tingle from their lack of use.

"Go back to sleep, sweets. 'M here. Won't let anyone hurt you," Bucky says under his breath, almost like the words are a subconscious afterthought more than a choice. From his very bones, on the verge of sleep.

It's quick—your descent into a sleep once more. The faint sound of Steve's breathing echoes through the room, lulls you further into unconsciousness. But you want him too. Not just sitting there, watching you and Bucky sleep. Steve deserves rest just as much, if not more, for sacrificing his own bed for the sake of your comfort.

"Steve," you whisper. "Steve."

Your hand fumbles for him blindly. A few seconds is all it takes before rough fingers clasp around yours.

"Lie down with us, Stevie."

The straws of his blonde hair tickle your cheek as he settles himself, glides down from his seat until he's face to face with you. You don't have the courage to open your eyes.

It's different. Has been for a while. None of you wants to acknowledge it, barely even to yourselves, even as you all lie together in the same bed.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"They're doing it, right?"

"They're so doing it. A month, tops."

"20 on three weeks."

"Deal."

Sam and Natasha shake hands over the breakfast table, solidifying their own suspicion into a bet they both will shamelessly try to affect. It's ridiculously obvious. Idiots, the three of you.

#marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #marvel fic #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #sam wilson x reader #marvel college au #natasha romanoff x reader #steve rogers angst #Steve Rogers smut #Bucky Barnes smut #Stark U

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babyboibucky · 4 years ago

Text

Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious. Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky��s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

Everything Bucky Tag List:

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#bbbwrites #oneshots: bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky fic #bucky angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #sebastian stan

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stxrvel · 3 years ago

Text

bittersweet feelings (1)

summary: you have to deal with the harsh truth after Bucky arrives from one of his missions.

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

warnings: nothing i think, just you know English is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes!

words: +2.5k

note: hi! I've been feeling physically unwell since I last posted and have been in bed, but today I was finally able to get a moment of calm and lucidity, so, enjoy and hope you like it!

also, i've been working on a series that I want to publish soon, but I don't know why I always find it difficult to do all that planning. anyway, I really hope I can bring it to you soon! thank u for all the support!

part 2

part 3

Admiring Bucky Barnes from afar has become too much of a challenge in recent days. Before, you were wrapped up in papers, essays, final exams and projects due, locking yourself in your room at a time or living in your university library, simply too busy to wander your eyes over the sprawling figure of Bucky strolling around the Complex. Ironically, he always spent more time there when you weren't there.

But now, completely free of academic responsibilities and banned from going on missions at Fury's whim, you had a lot more time to wander the halls of the Complex, especially in the gym where the man with the metal arm used to spend most of his time. Many times (if not all the time) you felt like a lousy attempt of a stalker, and you was almost 100% sure that he realised what you were doing but preferred not to say anything so as not to embarrass you. And that was much more embarrassing.

But did that stop you? Absolutely not.

He'd cut his hair a few days ago, and although you loved the way his hair looked on his shoulders and the way it blew in the wind every time he walked, as if he were a model on a bloody photo shoot, you shamelessly admitted that you had quickly grown to love his new style. Because, honestly, did something look bad on Bucky?

Your hands moved indiscreetly across the table, crumpling the paper between your fingers that you had previously been reading, as you watched the aforementioned man's shoulders shake after hearing Sam Wilson say something about Scott's card game. You moved your eyes scanning his entire face, trying to memorise the expression on his face as he smiled so openly, as he almost never did in public.

“Am I interrupting your crazy stalker moment?”

Tony's voice startled you, and you turned your head so sharply to look at something other than Bucky that a slight twinge of pain made its way from the back of your neck to your right shoulder. You grimaced and watched the millionaire sit down next to you on one of the black chairs that were spread out in the first floor cafeteria. Ahead of you, a large glass door separated you from one of the side exits of the Complex, where Bucky and Sam had stopped to talk and, surely at first, discuss the mission Bucky had just returned from.

“I'm not a crazy stalker,” you told him dismissively, but your nerves were eating you up inside. Even though you knew you weren't entirely discreet, you still weren't ready for someone to tell you that you were too obvious for him not to know anymore.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” Tony commented sarcastically and you felt a quick pang of fear inside your chest, “I was just coming to tell you that Fury made the decision to send you to Milan with Steve the other week.”

Your gaze finally shifted away from Bucky's figure, closer and closer to where you stood, to Tony and you frowned at him in extreme confusion.

“What? So soon?”

“Isn't that what you wanted? To go back to the camp?”

“Well, yes, but I thought his tantrum was going to last much longer.”

Tony let out a laugh and proceeded to open the packet of peanuts in his pocket, “If he hears you say that, consider yourself fired, kiddo.”

“Then it's a relief that no one heard me say it,” you smiled innocently at Tony, who only gave you a tight-mouthed smile in return.

“It's just a recon mission. Steve thinks there's an empty HYDRA base you can investigate, and you're pretty nimble with that non-digitized document review stuff.”

“You mean I'm good at reading physical documents?”

“You know what I mean, eagle eyes. There's nothing you're missing.”

“Ow,” you croon with a smile, “Thanks for the compliment, Stark.”

“You're welcome. Now, don't go freaking out. Barnes is walking this way.”

He then stood up and planted himself in front of you, as your heart did a wild flip and you felt him pause for a second, before resuming his march at an unnatural pace. You didn't even know if it was possible for a heart to beat that fast. You felt sweat beading on your hands and started to breathe through your mouth as you felt the nervousness take over your whole body.

“What?” you exclaimed, staring at him, sitting uncomfortably in the chair across the table they had shared.

“I told you not to freak out, you're only going to make it worse.”

You narrowed your eyes at him with a frown. Next, you took about three deep breaths to try and calm your frantic heartbeat, before Sam's figure - and consequently Bucky's - appeared in your field of view to the side of Stark's body. The man gave you a look with an arched eyebrow, as if to ask you to behave yourself, which was an exaggeration.

That was an exaggeration. You spent a lot of time with Bucky! Even when you two were alone you didn't feel as nervous as you did at moments like this.

When your gazes met, you could barely return the smile he gave you before you turned your eyes to Sam, who had just spoken but you hadn't gotten to hear everything he'd said because your head was in the clouds.

“...and that you're going back to the camp with Steve. How long since you've been out? Almost four months? You must be anxious.”

You just nodded, looking at him through tight lips.

Tony rubbed his eyes in an exasperated gesture.

“I could ask Fury to let me tag along,” Bucky's voice reached your ears like a forbidden delicacy. It had been several days since you'd last heard it and it was like a gift from the gods, “Lest he bore you with his awkward silences.”

“We don't have awkward silences,” you grumbled quickly, not knowing exactly why you were getting defensive. Tony raised his eyebrows at you and you shrugged in place, “I mean, we talk about a lot of things.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky's jocular tone didn't do much for your nerves and sanity, “Name a topic you've been talking about for more than three minutes.”

You pursed your lips and stared at his perfect face, uninjured by the mission, as you conjured up memories of your conversations with Steve. Your almost non-existent conversations.

Your cheeks flushed as you realised he was right, but you weren't going to let him win you over this time.

“One time, we talked all night about a movie.”

“If you're going to say you talked about Lord of the Rings, that doesn't count,” Sam spoke with a half smile on his face.

“Why not?” you grumbled quickly, watching the grimace in his face.

“He talks to everyone about those movies. It doesn't even feel like a conversation anymore, it's like a monologue.”

“Careful, Sam,” Tony spoke up after several seconds, “She likes those movies too.”

“Hey! They're good movies.”

“Good for a nap,” Sam let out a laugh.

You watched Bucky pursed his lips and looked down at the floor, holding back a chuckle.

“They're entertaining,” you muttered with a frown.

Sam pointed at you, his eyebrows arched and his corners raised in a playful grin.

“Well, that's it,” Bucky interrupted whatever Sam was going to say, “You know what they say, to each his own.”

“I'm with Barnes on this one,” Tony spoke up, resting one of his hands on Barnes' shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. Bucky watched his hand and then the millionaire's face with an arched eyebrow, but Tony quickly turned his attention away from Bucky to Sam, “Speaking of Steve, he asked me to tell you to look for him in the main room. He said something about a pending conversation.”

Tony put his arm around Sam's shoulders, leaning part of his body to lead him to walk with him out of the cafeteria. They promptly struck up a conversation on their way out of the cafeteria, and you felt your hands shake once you realized you were alone with Bucky after a couple of weeks of not being able to talk properly with him.

You turned your head away from where the two people who had accompanied you a few seconds before were leaving, hearing the creak of a chair being dragged in front of you. You watched Bucky move his body into a sitting position, settling his forearms on the table and his eyes fixed on yours. Settling into the chair, you gave him a tight-lipped, tense smile. Act normal.

“So the boss finally gave in,” the black-haired man said, his lips curling as he interlocked his hands.

You nodded your head slightly, “It was quicker than I thought. I thought he'd never let me back in the field.”

“And can you blame him? You sure scared the soul out of his body,” Bucky arched his eyebrows, and the mere memory of what happened gave you a feeling of irritability.

You grimaced, “Oh, it wasn't a big deal.”

“It wasn't a big deal? Honey, you threw yourself at those people all by yourself.”

You stared at him for a few seconds, like you did every time he called you names when you were alone. He never did it in public, and it was something you didn't try to think about very often.

“So what? This was all unnecessarily dramatic,” you tried to say in the most neutral tone of voice possible as you crossed your legs under the table.

“There were twenty men,” he said, as if that explained everything.

“Do you think me incapable, Barnes?” you arched an eyebrow, speaking with courage.

“No, of course not,” he quickly replied, his gaze softening, “But you disobeyed a direct order from Natasha and put your life at risk. You know how Fury is with you, he cares too much about you.”

You rolled your eyes, letting your back fall against the back of the chair, “But I'm not made of porcelain. I'm as good as Nat, she trained me herself!”

“But Fury didn't see her grow up.”

Well, he had a point and rightly so. You had grown up with the boss, who had practically adopted you, which was one of the reasons he used to be overprotective or refuse you to do some things because he thought it was for the best. And that fact had also helped you form fraternal bonds with all the Avengers until you were old enough and capable enough to be a part of them.

Well, you saw everyone as a nice family except Bucky. And that was a big problem.

You watched him through your eyelashes with an almost imperceptible pout.

Bucky gave you a beautiful smile, the kind that could light up an entire city, “Honey, I understand that it bothers you, but the position you put Fury in at the time, or everyone for that matter, made it hard for him not to make the decision he did. Maybe he overstepped, I'm not denying that, but he was scared.”

“There were other ways...” you started to renege again.

“And would you really have listened to him?” he inquired without wiping away his smile. It amazed you how lenient he could be with you, when with the rest of the world he was a hermit and sulky most of the time.

You sighed. Yep, you could be pretty stubborn when you put your mind to it.

“Well, the important thing is that he finally realised his mistake,” you blurted out with an amused grin. Bucky frowned and pointed the index finger of his metal arm at you.

“I think you missed the point of our little debate.”

“No, no... I understand, Bucky, I do. But Fury have to trust my skills a little more. I could against all of them! It was a spectacle.”

“But you're not always going to come out on top, sweetheart. At some point someone can catch you off guard, and that's what Fury's afraid of.”

“Well, it'll have to happen at some point. Unfortunately, I'm not invincible,” you agreed and admitted what he had said, because he was certainly right, with a tight-lipped smile.

You thought Bucky would be amused, or at least agree with you, but he merely bowed his head, frowned and tensed noticeably. You noticed that his expression suddenly hardened, and it frightened you that you had said something that would have angered him.

“What?” you asked fearfully.

He looked up from the table to look at you again, waking up. He gave you a smile, but a stiffer, harder and committed one. Your chest tightened, “It's not.... It's nothing. Just try to be careful next time, more cautious if necessary. You know, strategist.”

“Yeah, I know, I don't risk it if I don't think it's necessary.”

“That's my girl.”

You froze for a few seconds, just watching him, before your face heated up into an all too violent blush. He'd never said anything like that to you before... but you certainly didn't balk at the possibility that he might again.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you smiled shyly at him.

The sound of the cafeteria doors swinging open distracted the man in front of you, but you kept staring at his profile, gawking and surely with heart-shaped eyes. How was it possible that you liked him so much? Even though it had been a while since you last spoke, it seemed that your feelings for him had only grown three times his size.

Then, you heard it:

“Bucky!”

A woman's voice in the distance.

Confused, you turned your gaze in the direction of the voice, which came from the same place Bucky had been watching for several seconds. She was the one who had opened the doors so frantically, then. You frowned at her from a distance, unable to recognise her figure or features; it wasn't usually easy for you to forget the faces of people you knew, and you certainly didn't know this woman.

However, when you turned to ask Bucky, the half-smile on his face gave you the answer without words. Your chest tightened and you clenched your hands so as not to show the abrupt change of mood you had just gone through when he turned his face and fixed his eyes on yours. All without erasing that smile.

That smile he had on his face for her.

“I guess you'll have to go with Steve to schedule everything about the mission.”

You nodded, uncomfortably, not looking away.

“Fine. In the meantime, I'll go on my date,” he crooned, and the burning you felt intensified so much that it felt like you couldn't pass saliva without straining. But you smiled at him, your lips curving awkwardly and your face reluctant to show a feeling you didn't experience.

“Wow, I thought I'd never hear you say something like that.”

“Life is full of surprises, honey,” he said smiling as he stood up, “Do you want me to walk you to the living room?”

“No, don't worry. I'll be there in a minute,” you replied quickly. It was the first time since you had met him that you wanted him to leave you alone for once.

“All right. Good luck with the old man.”

“Thanks. Good luck with your- your- your date.”

You hated the way your voice betrayed you, but Bucky didn't seem to pay too much attention to it as he waved goodbye to you and started walking in the direction of the woman waiting for him outside the cafeteria doors. You felt your chest tighten as you sighed deeply and a couple of tears welled up in your eyes.

Damn it, at what point had all that happened?

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #winter solider #james buchanan barnes #seb stan #sebastian stan #marvel #mcu #avengers #the avengers #tony stark #sam wilson

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ynscrazylife · 4 years ago

Note

Hiii I just had this idea so what abt stucky x reader where steve and bucky get in an argument and the reader is just kinda in the middle not knowing who to go to, anyways u can change it however u want but thats the basic idea :))

Arguments

Summary: Y/N questions her relationship (half-heartily) when a silly argument between Bucky and Steve turns into a big one.

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Y/N sat on the couch, arms crossed with a pout on her face as she glared at the wall, listening to her boyfriends argue. The argument had started when Steve informed them that he had an important mission to go where the day he’d return would be after Y/N’s birthday. Bucky didn’t like that and insisted that he reschedule the mission, wanting him to be there for it, but Steve told him that he couldn’t reschedule. Bucky claimed that that was bullshit because Steve was the Avengers’ leader, but apparently Steve had been assigned this mission by S.H.I.E.L.D. to which Bucky wondered why Steve even took the mission because S.H.I.E.L.D. has so many agents, and as the argument continued, Steve accused Bucky of accusing him of not wanting to be there for Y/N’s birthday. That just escalated everything, and now they were shouting at each other.

It didn’t help that Y/N had no clue who to side with, because Bucky was trying to get her on his side with Steve not being there for her birthday and Steve was trying to get her on his side with what Bucky was supposedly accusing him of. On one hand. Y/N had to admit she wasn’t thrilled which Steve not being there for her birthday, but on the other she understood that S.H.I.E.L.D. needed him.

Right now, she was wishing she’d disappear into the couch cushions.

“Y/N, will you please tell Steve that him going on this mission is way less important than you?”

“I never said that, Buck!”

“Well, that’s how you’re acting!”

“Really? You’re jumping to conclusions!”

“You’re prepared to miss our girlfriend’s birthday!”

“Do you really think I want to? S.H.I.E.L.D. needs Captain America for this!”

“Ha! Never thought your ego would get the best of you. Don’t you know other agents can do this?”

“Jesus - don’t you think I asked if anyone else could do this? If you listened for one-”

“I’ve listened to you yell this entire time!”

“You’re yelling, too! Just shut up for one second-”

“No, you shut up.”

“You-”

“BOTH OF YOU - SHUT UP!” Y/N finally yelled over their loud voices, sitting forward and glaring at her hot-headed boyfriends who both had red cheeks and sweat glistening their foreheads.

They both turned to her, their clenched eyebrows, pointed fingers, furious eyes melted into what resembled a kid getting caught doing something they’re not supposed to. Bucky looked especially guilty while Steve mirrored a lost puppy.

Y/N let out a huge sigh and shoulders slumped as she took in the peace that was silence for a couple moments. Despite Bucky and Steve staring, confused, at her, the silence felt so much better than the insults and yelling that had previously intoxicated the air. Y/N leaned back against the couch and composed herself, first directing her words towards Steve.

“It’s okay, Steve. Yeah, it sucks. I’m not thrilled. But Fury knows when my birthday is, he knows our relationship, I think that if he went to you for this mission, that means he really needed you and you were the last resort - no offensive,” Y/N said, surprising herself with how calm and controlled her tone of voice was.

A ghost of a smile embraced Steve’s lips before Y/N turned to look at Bucky’s, who’s guilty look got 10x bigger. “Buck - I know I’m usually the more understanding one here-” she allowed herself a small smile to ease the tension that was practically radiating from the brunette. “But you’d understand that Steve doesn’t want to miss my birthday and that S.H.I.E.L.D. really needs him . . Makes me think that this is about something else. Is anything wrong?”

Bucky’s face instantly softened and he let out a short-lived sigh as he plopped down on the couch on Y/N’s left - Steve taking it as an invitation to do so on her right. Y/N immediately took Bucky’s left hand and Steve’s right in her own as Bucky wrapped his right arm around her waist and Steve put his left around her shoulders.

“I just . . . I dunno. I was worried about Steve getting hurt and wanted everything to be perfect for your birthday. I’m sorry Stevie and Y/N/N,” Bucky said, mumbling the last sentence into Y/N’s shoulder. (A/N: Y/N/N = Your nickname)

With his super soldier hearing, Steve heard it and leaned forward, reaching over Y/N to plant a kiss on Bucky’s forehead. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m sorry, too,” he said, his voice low but caring.

When Steve leaned back, Y/N pecked Bucky’s cheek. “And my birthday will be amazing. We’ll have another celebration when Steve comes home. I promise,” she said.

Bucky nodded and picked up his head. The three then sat on the couch in each other’s presence for a couple minutes until Y/N made a small noise of discomfort, removing her hand from Steve’s to rub her head.

“Everything okay?” Steve asked, his eyes and voice laced with worry. Bucky sat up to look at her.

Y/N grimaced. “Yeah. Nothing to worry about,” she said quietly.

“You sure?” Bucky asked, not completely convinced.

“I don’t want you to think it’s your fault.”

That got Bucky and Steve’s attention. They both opened their mouths to ask but Y/N just cut in to answer, predicting what their question was.

“I have a headache . . . from the yelling.”

Bucky and Steve’s expressions were both mixes of concern and regret, and they shared a look her head, mouthing a silent conversation. Bucky stood up from the couch, making Y/N frown, but Steve wrapped both arms around her and lifted her on the couch, and now Y/N knew what she was doing. She was tired and in pain, so she allowed them to take care of her. Y/N wrapped her arms around Steve’s neck, resting her head on his shoulder as he carried her to their bedroom and Bucky went to the bathroom to grab some Advil for her.

Steve laid her on her bed, pulled the covers over her, and laid down beside her, leaning against pillows he had propped up so he could message Y/N’s temples, which felt like heaven to her. A couple moments passed before Bucky entered the room, carrying a glass of water and Advil. Y/N murmured a thank you and took the Advil, washing it down with water. Bucky gently took the glass from her and put it on their beside table and also got into the bed.

The three cuddled and rested and it wasn’t that long until Y/N realized that her headache had faded.

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dameronology · 3 years ago

Text

natasha romanoff relationship alphabet

requested by anon!

a - actions. what sort of things do they do to show they love their s.o?

for nat, her main love language is protecting you. you're literally the most important thing in her life and given how dangerous her job is, ensuring you're safe is her main priority. expect her to steal you some hella cool weapons and teach you basic (or even advanced) self defence. she'll also text you to make sure you're okay during the day and she'll never go to sleep until you've texted to say you're home safe.

b - beginnings. how did the relationship begin? how has it changed?

s l o w l y. this is the black widow we're talking about, so she would have spent a very long time trying to deny her feelings for you. once she's admitted them to herself, admitting them to you doesn't seem so hard, but it probably would have taken a lot of advice from more reasonable minds - i.e sam & steve - to guide her. the thing about natasha is that once you've got her, you've got her, so it's changed in the sense that she's gone from hiding her feelings for you to laying herself bare. no buts, no coconuts. she's yours.

c - comfortable. how comfy are they with each other? peeing with the door open close, or would they rather keep the mystery?

nat probably tried to keep the mystery at first, but it's so much energy. she's happy to just live as her true self in front of you so don't be surprised if you start most your days complaining to her about the ginger hair she's left all over the shower.

d - dates. do they consider dates to be important? what kind do they prefer?

dates aren't the most important thing for nat -- she loves spending time with you on the daily but designated date nights aren't her priority. with that said, if she does do them, they'll be super lowkey. it'll either be a movie night in with takeout, or she'll surprise you on your lunch break.

e - engagement. how would they propose? who would even pop the question?

i don't get the vibes that nat would want to get married - if anything, she's more likely to go into a long ass speech about how relationships don't need to be legally binding to mean something, and it's all just a capitalist lie and...yeah, you stopped listening at that point. but the main take away is, it's not essential to her. but if you really, really wanted to get married, and if it was a very significant thing to you? she'd do it in a heartbeat.

f - fundamental. for them, what is the most fundamental part of a relationship?

trust. natasha has gone her whole life not knowing who to trust and without anyone to turn to. she's naturally suspicious of everyone around her so she would need absolute and complete faith in her s.o, because you are the one person she never wants to question.

g - gratitude. how do they show their appreciation for you?

by opening up to you. it's something that nat rarely does, but it shows how must love and trust she has for you.

h - home. a random domestic headcanon.

everyone pictured natasha's apartment being like...a concrete box, but it's actually amazing. everything is colour co-ordinated and aesthetic and it's cluttered, but in the best way.

i - infinite. do they believe their love is endless, or is there something that could break it?

if you went behind her back or betrayed her, that would be it. the minute she stops trusting you is the minute it's over - and while she could never fully stop loving you, nothing in the world could fix it.

j - jokes. who’s the funny one?

it's a tie. nat has a more deadpan sense of humour, but she always makes you laugh.

k - kiss. how do they kiss? favourite type?

nat does this thing when she kisses you where she puts a hand on the back of your neck and gives it a light squeeze when she wants to make it deeper, and she loves biting on your lower lip to tease you before quickly pulling away - especially if you're about to go and meet the others or go to a meeting - because she knows it'll be on your mind for the rest of the day

l - longing. who’s the clingy one? how are they with long distance?

nat can deal with long distance, and she has to, because of her job, and she can absolutely be the clingy one when she's in the right mood.

m - marriage. do they wanna get married?

see engagement! i accidentally covered it there

n - nicknames. what ones do they like?

she likes babe, sweetheart and darling

o - over the top. are they ever ott? or are they more low-key?

definitely more low-key. everything about natasha is on the down low and super sly, so her love is no different. she doesn't really do grand displays of affection but she absolutely does show her love for you through more intimate and personal actions.

p - picture. what’s their favourite picture of them and their s.o?

it's actually one of just you; one halloween, the team decided they all had to go as a respective avenger and you ended up going as steve. there's a picture of you holding his shield and drinking pimms from his helmet and it's been her phone background ever since.

q - quintessential. what is one they would refuse to compromise in their relationship? what’s a deal-breaker for them?

mutual respect. you respect her and she respects you. if she ever had to deal with anything that even slightly compromised her respect for you or for herself, that would be it.

t - tattoo. would they ever get matching tattoos with their s.o, or a tattoo for them?

she's vehemently against matching tattoos, but she would definitely get a small one for you - maybe something on one of her fingers, or her ankle

u - understanding. how understanding are they? or are they a little difficult?

nat is the least difficult person ever. she's so understanding of you & your feelings and she will always respect them and go out her way to help you if you need it.

v - vases. do they buy flowers?

always!! at least once a week.

w - wandering. do they wanna travel? or immediately settle down?

nat has travelled a fair amount because of her job, but it was always for the wrong reasons. she would absolutely love to go on actual vacations/holidays with you - for example, it's her dream to go to the south of france to sun bathe, and not to chase an international criminal. as for settling down, she absolutely would. it might take a while for her to feel like she's ready to retire, but once she has, your her whole future.

x - ex. how many exes do they have? any horror stories?

no actual legit exes, but definitely a couple one night stands that became obsessed with her.

y - you. favourite thing about their partner?

the fact you feel like home. nat's life was so uncertain for so long that the stability you bring is beyond anything she could have ever imagined.

z - zeal. how excitable are they? who’s the calm one?

nat is absolutely the calm one (she's literally been trained to be). she is a rock. she is an i-i-island.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff imagines #natasha romanoff headcanons #avengers x you #avengers x reader #avengers heacanons #avengers imagines #marvel imagines

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kj-1130 · 4 years ago

Text

Nothing For Me

Part 7

Main Masterlist

Part 6|Part 8

You and MJ’s relationship continued to grow as time went on.

As she started her first year of high school, you worked on yourself, wanting to be good for her.

Overtime, you learned how to process and deal with things better. You focused on yourself and your developing relationship with MJ and needless to say, things started to look up.

The ‘present but not really present father’ thing didn’t affect you as much as it did, but it was still there. It was one of the only things you hadn’t fully processed and to be honest, you didn’t think you ever could.

Your father is there, and has been aware of presence for almost a decade. And not once has he given you any type of consolation or love like a father should. You would think after Pepper was getting more involved in his life and forcing him to clean up (most of) his act, he would open his eyes and realize that a whole human being was living with him, waiting for him to realize that they were supposed to be relying on him; not an AI built in the comfort of their room.

But nope. Absolutely nothing changed. If anything, things got worse.

He was away more often, focusing on the Avengers. Or he was with Pepper, the new love of his life.

You tried not to linger on the situation often, knowing it would only lead to pain in your chest. So you just stuffed it in the back of your mind, hoping one day that the pain would just lessen all together.

About two months ago, you and MJ had decided to make things official after going on your first date. At first you talked about how fast the two of you were going, but Michelle simply said ‘we’ll be u-haul lesbians then.’ That was the end of the conversation.

Currently, you and your girlfriend were facetiming. You would’ve made the trek to her house but she was about to study and you both knew that you’d distract her. Plus the two of you were due for some time away from each other considering the fact that you’re at her place almost everyday.

“Okay, so I found this recipe the other day and I’m just now remembering it.”

MJ looks at you confused, “Okay?”

You roll your eyes playfully.

“I wanted to try it with you. After my ban from your place has been lifted.”

“It’s not a ban,” she chuckled.

“Well, it sure as hell feels like one ba-” “Mr. Stark has arrived with a guest,” M.I.A cut you off.

“Who is this guest?”

“Secretary of State, Thaddues Ross,” the AI replied, pulling up pictures of the man.

“Hey M, I’m gonna call you back.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she nods, looking a little concerned. “Take all the time you need. Let me know if everything’s okay.”

The two of you give your goodbyes and you ask M.I.A to pull up the live footage from the conference room.

“Perspective. The world owes the Avengers an un-payable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives… but while a great a=many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word “vigilantes”, is what you first hear when you start watching.

Immediately your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?” Natasha asks.

“How about ‘dangerous’?” he replies. “What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?”

The secretary activates a screen behind him which begins to play the previous battles the Avengers and SHIELD have fought in.

“New York.”

He clicks a button, footage of chitauri, shooting guns, and Hulk smashing plays.

“Washington D.C”

A new video appears, showing the insight helicarriers firing at each other with chaos following.

“Sokovia.”

The frame changes, showcasing the terrified citizens that were on the flying piece of land.

“Lagos.”

“That’s enough,” Steve interrupts.

Ross nods in response and begins his speech again.

“For the past four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.”

He places a thick document on the table and slides it across to Wanda. As the team slides the book to each other Ross starts talking.

“The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries… it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.”

“The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place,” the Captain begins. “I feel we’ve done that.”

“Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?” There was a momentary pause as the two men’s eyes met. “If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes… you can bet there’d be consequences. Compromise. Reassurance. That’s how the world works. Believe me, this is middle ground.”

At this point, you’re walking out of your room after transfering the feed to your tablet and making your way to the elevator.

“So, these are contingencies,” Rhodey states.

“Three days from now,” Secretary Ross begins. “The UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords. Talk it over.”

Natasha speaks up, “And if we don’t come to a decision you don’t like?”

“Then you retire.”

The elevator stops and you look up seeing the Secretary walk in with someone behind him. You give him a subtle disgusted look before turning your attention back to the security footage.

As the deathtrap descends, you can feel his eyes lingering on you.

“Can I help you?”

“You’re a little young to be an intern.”

“You’re a little old to be looking at me like that,” you shrug, swiping away from the video on your tablet as you feel him looking over your shoulder.

Ross gives an awkward chuckle and furrows his eyebrows. When you reach the bottom floor, he gets ready to step out and places a hand on your shoulder.

You look at him like he’s lost his mind.

“You seem like a good kid. Be sure to make good choices.”

Raising an eyebrow, you refrain from saying what you want to say. You lift your hand and gently take his off of you.

“Don’t touch me,”

Once he exits, you hear the chatting start back up.

“Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor,” Rhodes told Sam. “Which is one more than you have.

“So let’s say we agree to this thing,” Wilson starts. “How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?”

“117 countries want to sign this. 117, Sam, and you’re just like, ‘No that’s cool. We got it.”

“I have an equation,” Vision announces as you get back on the elevator.

“Oh this will clear it up,” Sam mutters.

“In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.“

“Toaster oven’s got a point there,” you mumble, stepping back on the metal deathtrap.

Steve asks,“Are you saying it’s our fault?”

“I’m saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict… breeds catastrophe. Oversight… oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.”

“Boom,” Rhodey says.

You see Tony lying on the couch, quite relaxed, contradicting the tense atmosphere.

“Tony,” Nat starts. “You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal.”

“It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Steve explained.

“Boy, you know me so well,” Stark starts, getting up and rubbing the back of his head. “Actually I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache,” he pauses to grab a mug of coffee. “That’s what’s going on, Cap. It’s just pain. It’s discomfort. Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

Tony puts his phone in a basket and taps the screen. An image is projected of a smiling young man.

“Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way. He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia.”

He pauses for a second as the team soaks in the information.

“He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.

“There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.”

“Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up,” Steve rebuttals.

“Who said we’re giving up?”

“We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.”

“I’m sorry. Steve,” Rhodey blurted. “That-that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not HYDRA.”

“No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”

“That’s good,” Tony starts. “That’s why I’m here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing.

“Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

“If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s a fact. That won’t be pretty.”

Wanda finally speaks up, “You’re saying they’ll come for me.”

“We would protect you,” Vision promised.

“Maybe Tony’s right,” the redhead speaks. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off--”

“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam interrupts.

“I’m just… I’m reading the terrain. We have made… some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.

“Focus up,” Tony says. “I’m sorry, did I just mishear or did you agree with me?”

“Oh, I want to take it back now.”

“No, no, no. You can’t retract it. Thank you. Unprecedented. Okay, case-closed--I win.”

From what you see, Steve stands to leave abruptly.

You then walk out of the elevator, tablet still in hand with the footage up. The captain walks past you just as you turn the corner and spot the team.

“Someone’s upset,” you hum.

You walk past everyone towards the fridge and grab a water bottle.

“Anyway, that was very childish. And kinda stupid.”

Inquisitive looks are thrown your way and you hold up the tablet awkwardly as you plop down on a chair.

“I was watching you. I kinda do that a lot. It’s not as creepy as it sounds.”

You open the bottle and take a sip.

“What are you doing down here kid--”

“Ahhh,” you interrupt. “Don’t call me a kid. I haven’t been a child for years.”

“Just answer the question,” Tony snaps.

“I like to stay informed. No one tells me anything and while you think that these private meetings only affect you, it doesn’t. It affects me too. You may not remember I’m your child but several people do. And that puts me in danger. So yes, I listen to your conversations to make sure it’s nothing I need to worry about.”

An awkward silence washes over as you gulp down more water.

“Anyway, I was just riding up and down the elevator waiting for you guys to finish. That Ross dude is kinda creepy by the way. But you’re really considering signing that thing?”

“Not you too,” your father mutters.

You let out a laugh and everyone looks at you strangely.

“Is this funny to you?” Rhodey asks.

“Yes,” you stop laughing abruptly. “I find it hilarious that this is the same government that was ready to drop a nuke on the city during the Battle of New York not giving a damn about a single civilian that was still in the area. I find it hilarious that this is the same government that lets thousands of children and women of color go missing and not do a thing about it. It’s funny that this is the same government that let HYDRA, Red Room, AIM; all that shit grow right under their nose. It’s funny because this government is the same one that uses taxpayer money for dumb ass projects and unnecessary military funding instead of using it to fund shit that helps the civilians they claim they care so much about. I mean how can you not find this situation amusing?”

“Look,” Tony attempts.

“I’m not finished,” you challenge, looking him dead in the eyes. “This government don’t give a damn about y’all, especially not the three of us,” you say, gesturing to yourself, Sam, and Rhodey. “We’d be booted out of this country before you could even blink if they ever got the chance and you know that.

“I don’t know why y’all are so adamant on gaining the government’s trust when they don’t give a flying fuck about you or these goddamn civilians. All they care about is power. They don’t care how many civilians come up missing or die in some tragic accident. It doesn’t matter what happens. When they see someone becoming richer or smarter or more powerful than they are, they will do anything to shut that shit down.

“I don’t understand how you can’t see that. And maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just me and my experience,” you pause, catching the gaze of every person in the room with hard eyes. You take a deep breath and try to calm down. “Sign it if you want to. Think about how many lives you’ll lose then.”

You stand from your spot and walk into the open elevator, ready to get to the comfort of your bed.

It had been two days since the initial meeting and you were currently sitting on Michelle’s bed watching her read.

“You’re really pretty,” you muttered out of the blue.

You saw your girlfriend’s cheeks develop a subtle red tint as she mumbled back a ‘thank you, and continued reading. You groan and gently pull the book out of her hands.

“Hey,” she quietly protests.

“Please,” you pout, holding your arms out as an invitation.

MJ fondly rolls her eyes before lowering herself onto you. You hummed contently and squeezed her before planting a kiss on her cheek.

She surprised you by turning her head and giving you a lingering kiss. That one kiss soon turned into something more.

Michelle gently pushed you onto your back and straddled your hips. Bending down she kissed you once again, her lips gliding with yours.

This continued for a few minutes, taking small breaks in between to breathe. You don’t think you could ever get enough of her and hoped that she was feeling similarly.

You kissed until your jaws hurt. The euphoric feeling still lingered as MJ rested her forehead against yours, trying to catch her breath.

“We should do that again sometime,” you mumbled.

Your girlfriend nodded in response, giving one more chaste kiss to your lips before dropping to your side.

“Tomorrow,” she said after glancing at the clock that read 10:47.

“Guess I’m spending the night then.”

“I have no problem with that.”

The next day, you were awoken by beeping from your phone. Once you were fully aware of your surroundings you picked up the device and read the notifications that M.I.A sent through. Scanning through them, you sat up with urgency and played the video.

“A bomb hidden in a news van ripped through the UN building in Vienna. More than 70 people have been injured. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda’s King T’Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Bares, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations.”

Carefully removing Michelle’s arm from around your waist, you stand up and move to the corner of the room. You press the contact and hold the phone up to your ear.

“Nat what the fuck is going on?”

You hear the woman sigh on the other side of the phone. “Look, just… stay wherever you are.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. I want answers, Nat.”

“(Y/n),” she says firmly. “Calm down and go back to whatever you were doing. Right now, this does not concern you and I would like it to stay that way. Do you understand me?”

There was some silence, before you let out a forced chuckle.

“Okay, whatever. Bye.”

“(Y/n) c’mo--”

You disconnected the call and gently tossed the phone onto MJ’s desk. “You sound stressed.”

Turning around to face the bed, you see Michelle sat up and leaning against the headboard. You nod slowly and crawl your way up towards her.

“I am.”

You feel her hand take hold of your clenched ones and she rubs them, causing you to relax slightly.

“There was a um, bombing at the--the um… signing thing. And no one wants to tell me what’s going on, so,” you end the sentence, shrugging.

MJ’s head drops onto your shoulder and you let her cuddle close.

“They told me to stay where I was. So hopefully we can get something good out of that.”

There was no response and you thought she had fallen back asleep, but you were proven wrong when your girlfriend started getting up.

“C’mon,” she instructed, holding her hand out when she saw the look of confusion on your face.

Taking her hand, the two of you made your way to the kitchen.

She turned around and grabbed your shoulders.

“We are going to make some breakfast… or lunch whatever. And then we are going to binge watch until we can binge watch no longer. Alright?”

You nod your head, chuckling and then got to work.

It had been days since you last heard from anyone. No updates from Natasha. M.I.A even told you there hasn’t even been a great deal of movement in the compound. Today you decided you would head back.

When you arrived it was quiet. As you walked down the halls you heard distant chatter and followed it.

Turning the corner, you were surprised at what you saw.

“What the hell happened?”

The two men turned to look your way, but you were given no answers.

Tony had bruises on his face and he looked more tense than usual. Rhodey had some sort of tech on his legs.

“You fought them. You fought them all, didn’t you?”

Both men looked away and avoided your gaze.

“You didn’t even listen to what I said. This is what the government does. I tried to tell you, but you didn’t even fucking listen,” you ranted, your voice slightly raising.

“Us breaking apart wasn’t the government. Most of this is on some guy th--”

“Well the government allowed it to happen so I’d say it is their fault!”

You turned to your father with pleading eyes.

“Where are they, Tony?”

“Kid, they’re criminals now, I don’t--”

“Stop calling me that! I’m--I’m not some kid. I’m not your kid,” you let out a frustrated breath. “You--you couldn’t talk it out? Like mature adults? You just had to go assert your dominance somewhere--in what? An--an airport? Some vacant lot? You just had to fight. Do you not know how to communicate?”

You looked at the two men, shook your head, and brushed past them.

Just when things were alright.

“(Y/n)?”

“What M.I.A?”

You were currently laying in your bed trying to control the tears that were begging to fall from your eyes due to the amount of overwhelming shit you had been hit with. You talked with MJ for a little while and while it helped a bit, you honestly were still feeling like… well shit.

“There’s a package for you.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you head down to where the mail is usually placed, get the package with your name on it, and head back to your room.

Grabbing a pair of scissors, you cut the tape and open the box. Inside was a letter and a phone.

Hey sweetheart.

It was Natasha’s handwriting.

I’m sorry. I really am. We all are. I wish things wouldn’t have ended this way, but they did and we can’t really do anything about it now.

I listened to what you said. I listened and I tried my best to understand. I don’t think I ever wanted to sign the accords in the first place. The only reason I did so was so that we could stay together. So that I could stay with you. This team is the only family I’ve had in a long time. The fact that that stack of papers could end that scared me.

I just kept trying to convince myself that signing the Accords was the right thing to do; anything to keep this team together. Anything to keep everything from falling apart.

But the more I thought about it, I realized. You were right. Everything you said. This government doesn’t care. And if the government doesn’t care like they’re supposed to then we need to. People need the government, but they don’t have it. They do have us though. And they always will.

I love you. I didn’t say it enough and I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get to tell you that again. You are so precious to me and I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. If you ever need anything, you can always give me a call.

You wiped your eyes and gently picked up the phone. You held it in your hands for a moment before setting it down. You folded the letter back up neatly and placed both items in the top drawer of your nightstand.

You laid back down on your bed with less tears on your face.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

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wienerbarnes · 4 years ago

Text

A Certain Romance (2/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,685

Warnings: not rlly anything

A/N: a lil bit of a deeper dive for these two’s relationship👀... enjoy!

MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST

Your apartment is nice. Very you.

Sam invited him out to some restaurant, but after the last one he suggested, he decided to pass. And when Sam asked him what he was doing instead, if he was seeing you, Bucky lied and said yes. It made Sam happy and got him out of going to another ridiculous restaurant, so he saw it as a win-win.

Once Sam left, though, his thoughts did drift to what you were doing.

You two exchanged numbers at the pizza place after your date, but you two haven’t texted much. He texted you making sure you got home safe, which you did, and a day or so after, you texted him a picture of some advertisement with an awfully cheesy pick-up line written on it, which even he agreed was awful.

But that’s about it. So, he texts you.

Hey. What are u doing?

About to make dinner. Y?

Told Sam I was seeing u. Wanna hang out?

Come over.

Simple enough, he thinks.

You two haven’t had the most meaningful text conversations, clearly, but it’s still nice. No flirting, no typing and retyping messages in order to hook, line, and sinker, no ghosting. No relationship texting.

It was a dream for him. To have a new friend. He’s made plenty of friends, both in New York and in Wakanda. But it’s all under the same… umbrella. Always an agent, a fighter, an analyst of some sort. Someone to train with, to fight with, to fight for. Never someone like you. Someone that works a mundane job and lives in a mundane part of New York where her weekends are filled with going on mundane blind dates or otherwise cooking dinner for one.

It’s a breath of fresh air to not talk about fighting or missions or press or media or anything else he has to hear about at work. The only connection you have with Sam is that you met in a coffee shop a few years ago that has since closed down. He was one of your first friends here.

You could care less about Captain America, too. Which hurts Sam’s ego, and in turn, makes Bucky smile.

So, he goes over to yours.

He’s not sure what you’re making, but he brings a bottle of red wine as a courtesy. You are making dinner after all. Besides, women love wine, right?

Your apartment is nice. Very you.

Enough going on to show that someone does indeed live here, but also enough to show that you’re not exactly swimming in riches, like most people that live in this city.

The place smells like garlic and basil, and he’s glad that he brought the wine.

Shoes discarded at the door, he helps chop up the rest of the ingredients while you put a pot of water to boil. He chops up mushrooms, onion, pancetta, eyeing the bottle of vodka out on the table and tube of tomato paste next to his hand.

It's an understatement to say he’s excited. Most of the pasta he makes is from a bag of precooked noodles and a jar of tomato sauce.

Basic small talk floats through the air as the two of you dance around one another in the kitchen. Even though you’re “dating”, you don’t know much about each other. This isn’t too uncommon from how dating was for Bucky when he was a teenager; you’d marry women knowing very little about them.

Your favorite color is orange. You played violin in grade school. You had a childhood dog named Chowder. Bucky tells you his favorite color is green. He played a little bit of piano when he was younger, but did boxing in his late teens and early twenties before the war. You poke fun at him when he can’t remember the name of his own childhood dog.

“He’s probably rolling over in dog-heaven.”

“Good boy; he’d deserve a treat.”

You laugh.

Easy conversation continues on the couch as bowl after bowl of pasta is eaten and replenished. As fun and seemingly simple questions are asked, like each of your favorite movies or whether or not you pour the milk before the cereal, the room that’s left is used for deeper questions.

“What’s your most embarrassing moment?” You ask him.

He thinks for a moment before opening his mouth, only to close it again. “One time when Princess Shuri was fixing my arm it wasn’t secure completely, so it flew off while I was playing with some of the children.”

“That’s not your most embarrassing moment. I know it’s not, now you have to tell me what it really is.” You tease him.

He’s never been the best liar.

“You’re right, it’s not my most embarrassing moment. My actual most embarrassing moment is just kind of… sad. And I didn’t want to ruin the mood or anything.” He explains, hoping you’ll accept that but instead you give him an encouraging smile to hopefully give him some comfort that whatever it is he wants to tell you is safe in your apartment.

“Okay, uhm. So, in the 40’s, after I was rescued by Steve, but before we shipped out again where I was recaptured for the second and final time. We were all holed up in this little dance club, all the soldiers and their gals. And in walks Peggy Carter in a pretty red dress,” He begins, only glancing at your eyes periodically as if to make sure you’re still there.

“I know she’s Steve’s gal, he told me all about her. I wasn’t flirting with her because I wanted her, I was flirting with her… to make sure I still could. I mean, after being held in that… place… they injected me with stuff, told me things that weren’t true, I mean Steve told me I was repeating my number over and over again when he found me, I didn’t even remember doing that. I felt… violated, used, not like myself. I felt like I wasn’t me anymore.

“So, when Peggy walked in, I thought about how everyone always called me a ladies man, how good I was with women, I mean, I’d take girls out about every damn weekend, you know? I wanted to feel normal, so I flirted with her, tried to get her to dance with me. And she completely ignored me. She never even took her eyes off of Steve. It’s like I was invisible. And it just sort of felt like the nail in the coffin for whoever James Barnes was before the war. It was a realization that I’m never going to be that person again. And it was embarrassing for me.” He explains.

He hasn’t looked up at you again, but he heard your fork stop moving around your bowl a minute or so ago. He feels a lump in his throat thinking about that time, how he knew he’d never get back the man he was, even before knowing what was in store for him after falling off that train. How he used to be this man that wanted a long, happy marriage, six or seven kids running around a big backyard, a white picket fence surrounding a big two-story house in a neighborhood of identical homes. He wanted the cheesy life, at one point. But the same man that wanted that life died falling off a train many years ago.

All of that’s forgotten, though, when you open your mouth, and seem to say the perfect thing to make him feel better.

“One time in the third grade, this girl pulled my skirt down in front of my crush, and I wasn’t wearing any undies.”

A snort escapes his throat as you, somehow, after he’s shared something so deeply personal, something he never even told Steve or Sam about, still found a way to make him laugh. Which is what he wanted, he realizes. The comfort of moving on from that confession and not having to wallow in it like other people would try to. His hand leaves his fork to cover his face as tears threaten to leak out from how hard he’s laughing.

He took that secret to the grave, even if it wasn’t his own. He told himself he’d never tell Steve about how he felt in that situation, and he never did. He never told Steve that he didn’t enlist, either. He couldn’t imagine how Steve would’ve felt knowing that the army would’ve rather taken men that didn’t want to go to war, men who were terrified to go to war, had too much to lose and wanted to be selfish and stay home, than men like Steve who would do anything to enlist. Including lying on the damn enlistment form.

He wonders if Steve is looking at him now. Watching over him as he shares something that he never did with his best friend, with you, a girl he’s met barely a week ago, on your couch over bowls of pasta while he points out leftover sauce on the corner of your lip.

“What’s your greatest fear?” He asks you next.

“Dying alone. Actually, no. Getting kidnapped, probably.”

“Oh, mine’s spiders.” He shares.

It’s so easy to laugh with you, he finds. He jokes with Sam a lot, all the bickering and teasing all in good fun at the end of the day, and it’s mostly pretty funny. But laughing with you. He feels like a teenager again. Somehow, everything is funny; he doesn’t remember the last time he’s laughed so much, especially about things that aren’t even that funny.

It’s raining at the end of the night. Early morning, rather.

“You can take the couch, if you’d like.”

“Nah, I don't mind a little rain, and I like the ride home.” He fed Alpine before he left, but he imagines his cat misses him, even if she’s probably busy licking herself to even notice he’s left.

“Suit yourself.”

You don’t push him. A simple pleasure that’s more of a luxury for him. There’s no pushing or convincing or Are you sure’s with you.

Certainly a luxury, you are.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes au #marvel

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mediocre--writing · 3 years ago

Note

hiiiiiii :D

i’m going to give you both a harringrove and a kegboys thing

harringrove: the mindflayer didn’t kill billy and billy spent months recovering. when he was let out he didn’t speak to people. but steve was the only one capable of holding onto the patience enough for billy to eventually start talking to him. billy gets a job at a slow business convenient store/gas station. and steve meets him to have lunch together outside in the back every day.

kegboys: steve had a pine tree at the front of his house with a yellow ribbon for barb. and one year billy cuts it down without knowing about its significance. steve eventually finds out what happened and tommy had to take him to the other room before telling billy what he’d done. they spend the day making steve feel better by getting a brand new tree and retying a ribbon even bigger than before.

oooooh these are both so good.

Harringrove: I think that, especially after Steve's whole fiasco with the Russians, he doesn't mind the quietness that comes with Billy. Doesn't mind waiting for him to speak because Steve himself does't really know what he would even say.

Steve's parents, after his 18th birthday, pretty much never came home. They had like seven other houses elsewhere and Steve was his own functioning adult, so they, frankly, didn't give two shits. So Billy stays with him. Plus, Steve's got no job after the mall burned down and his parents are still paying for the house and everything, it's not like it's much of an issue.

They bond in a silent way. Billy can't talk. Like physically, for the first three-ish months, can't get his voice to come out in any understandable fashion, as having a tentacle forced down his throat pretty much ripped at every bit of skin there.

But they communicate. Steve is used to his lonely life in a mansion and just appreciates another body being there that makes it not so lonely.

They function around each other. Whoever gets up first makes the coffee, whoever goes to sleep last turns the main lights off. Whoever opens the clean dishwasher has to empty it and whoever tracks the most snowy footprints in has to mop next.

The first time Billy really talks to Steve is after a nightmare. But not from Billy (he's become really good at controlling how loud his whimpers and crying can get, even asleep [fuk u neil🖕]). Steve is pretty much screaming bloody murder in his sleep and Billy can barely get up the tall staircase as it is, but mixed with sleep and his rush, he slips a few times trying to get to Steve, thinking something is really wrong.

By the time he bursts into Steve’s room, Steve is sitting straight up in bed staring at the blurry light while trying to catch his breath. Billy cautiously walks up to him, flips on a lamp light so there wouldn’t be any in-the-dark scares for Steve, and sits across from him on the edge of the bed.

Steve ultimately just collapses into Billy��s chest and sobs and sobs and sobs until he’s got it all out and the only thing that can be heard are Steve’s unsteady breaths and Billy’s reassurances. It’s the softest Steve thinks he’s ever heard Billy speak to anyone.

Steve starts sleeping in the guest room downstairs with Billy after another incident when he starts screaming occurs because it wears Billy down a lot to battle the stairs (his muscles are worn thin and he has very little strength these days). Steve stirs in his sleep but hasn’t panicked like that since he started cuddling with Billy.

Joyce eventually pulls some strings and gets Billy a job at Melvald's (small town business start picking up after Starcourt burning down) where he can just sit in a chair at the front and check people out. Occasionally she’ll have him stock small things like keychains or the snacks at checkout.

Steve visits most days during Billy’s break time. Brings take out from Benny’s or leftovers that Mrs. Henderson insisted on dropping off every other week because the boys “needed good, homemade food that they wouldn’t make for themselves.”

Billy has never felt more taken care of in his life and enjoys the gentle breeze when he and Steve chat behind Melvald’s and eat, sharing what’s happened during the few hours they’d spent apart or discussing what their weekend plans would be. Maybe what they were hungry for for dinner that night.

One day, when they’re eating a tuna casserole straight out of the Tupperware Mrs. Henderson had put it in, a stray cat comes and kneads gently at Billy’s thigh, over his jeans, and he puts a bit of the casserole on a napkin for the small kitty.

It becomes a routine and eventually he brings out a can of cat food from the store to feed the cat when he takes his breaks. They call her Melly (after Melvald’s, of course) and eventually she finds a way to sneak into the Camaro and becomes a full-fledged, sassy, rude house cat that has to sleep in the bed with the boys every night or she will scream her little cat scream and scratch at the door until they let her in.

Kegboys: (ok I tweaked this just a tad bc I couldn’t find a reason for billy to just chop down a random tree) Steve planted the tree after she’d passed away. He didn’t know how to feel about it. He felt awful, of course. He goaded her into drinking with them just because he wanted Nancy and look where that got him. He basically killed a girl and he lost his girlfriend.

He plants this tree, it’s thin and just taller than he is, but every year, after winter ends and plants bloom again, he ties a beautiful yellow bow around the thickest branch near the trunk. He looks at it every morning through the window, the small pine tree at the end of the driveway.

Only Tommy was there that night, the night a few weeks after it had all “ended” (the first time) and Steve breaks down. Sobs like he never has before, talking in fragmented sentences about how he’s to blame, he killed Barb out of teenage ignorance and because he wanted to have sex with Nancy Wheeler. What a fuckin’ waste.

Tommy is actually the one who suggests they plant the tree in the first place, a life now gone for a life yet to live. Steve takes care of that tree like if it died, he would too.

Steve ties a ribbon on it the first year. Tommy adds a second the next year.

Nobody else really cares. It’s a tree, not a giant portrait of the girl, for crying out loud. Nobody says anything about the bow that gets put on the tree because nobody would put together that the tree represented Barb, it’s just a tree to everyone else.

Billy wasn’t around for the beginning. He knew that a girl close to Nancy and Steve had died, sure, but he hadn’t known that it was in Steve’s pool and he never knew about the pine tree that grew at the top of the driveway.

There was a storm, a big one right at the tail end of summer, one that ripped up plants and trees and shingles off of houses, flooded the ditches and low points in the town.

Billy takes it upon himself to try and fix the Harrington’s trashed yard once the storms let up. He rakes away all the pine straw that had descended and piles up all the large branches and debris. There’s a tree, the pine tree that usually stands tall at the end of the driveway, that was severed at the base, only a mere three or four feet still protruding from the ground, the rest split and resting, half connected, on the ground.

Billy breaks off the part that was already off, puts it in the pile with the rest of the debris.

The stump stays at the end of the driveway and Billy goes inside, walks up to Steve and Tommy in the living room after washing his hands and grabbing some water. Tells them that he straightened up the yard.

“And that tree at the end was broken, so I picked off the part left hanging and put it on the fire pile. I figure we can find something else to plant in it later this week or--”

He’s cut off by Steve jumping off the couch and running out of the front door. He stands a few feet away from the stump left over and falls, bare knees hitting the still damp and muddy ground as he shows no other reaction.

Tommy’s right behind him, holds his shoulders from behind as he stares at the tree. Billy, from behind Tommy, doesn’t ask a question but stares confusedly at the boys who seem distraught by the disappearance of a seemingly meaningless tree.

Gentle coaxing, “C’mon, Steve. It’s alright, it’ll grow back and we can buy more ribbon, I promise, but you have to come inside, you’re all muddy,” from Tommy convinced Steve to come inside.

With no care for how his mother would react to her perfectly white rug being ruined by the dirt, Steve trudges through and eventually lays on the couch, cradling a pillow to his chest while Tommy promises to make him something warm to drink.

He beckons Billy into the kitchen with him as he puts the kettle on the burner, enough water for all three of them to have tea, and turns to Billy.

“Why’s he so upset about a tree?” Billy didn’t mean for it to sound harsh or inconsiderate, he was just curious why Steve seemed so distraught over a pine tree that was nowhere near as tall as the ones that were around the house.

“Ok, so, you know Barb, the girl that died here?”

“She died here!?”

“You didn’t know?”

“Well nobody talks about it, how was I supposed to know?”

“You should--Nevermind, anyway, she died here because of the whole other-world-monster-guy and Steve blamed himself for it, for, like, ever,” Tommy rested his elbows on the counter, “So, when he finally told me about it, we wanted to do something for her, like a memorial thing, anyway, we decided on a tree and he always ties the yellow ribbon around it and he takes care of it like it’s a child, but it’s gone so--”

“--He feels like he let her die again. Like it was his fault,” Billy concludes.

“Yeah,” Tommy assures before turning to the cupboards and pulling down three mugs, pouring the hot water in before placing tea bags in each.

“I mean, is there anything we can do? I feel awful, but the tree was already snapped, I couldn’t have like mended it or anything. I swear it wasn’t intentional,”

“You wouldn’t have known, it’s not your fault. I think Steve just feel a little out of his own mind at the moment, like he lost the hold he had on her. I really don’t know,”

Billy and Tommy stayed on the couch with Steve that day, they just rested and drank tea, listen to soft music on the radio, and took care of the droopy brunet.

They didn’t replace the tree. They let the old one stay and made sure to take excellent care of it. They’d tie three ribbons on the tree every year, made sure they were tied tightly, the tree growing faster and more prosperous than before, and Steve was better.

He realized that sometimes you have to get cut down before you can really unveil your true potential, that a little extra love can do wonders.

#idk if the last one is really what you wanted but it was kinda all I could come up with #harringrove #kegboys #keg boys #Steve harrington #Tommy h #Tommy Hagan #billy hargrove #stranger things #mediocre—writing #mw harringrove

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