#do i really have to write it myself? orz

[isekyaaa]

Why are women always pitted against each other in otome manhwa? And it's never for like good complex reasons. It's always one looking down on the other because the other is an orphan/illegitimate child/weaker/doesn't have any power/etc. Women can't even coexist. It's so boring.

[puppppppppy]

[advestager]

I feel like saying Josuke doesn't have any daddy issues whatsoever isn't entirely fair (I've seen some fic and comics go further into how he and his mom might have been treated due to the circumstances of his birth that were pretty compelling) but people who act like he grew up without any father figure are definitely off base imo. Every single adaptation and extra material have always had a focus on his close relationship with his grandpa for a reason!

see, that's precisely the thing. it is literally impossible to be a grown up human without having internalised some sort of illogical Feeling about oneself or the world – but fandom as a whole tends to just assign arbitrary ones to characters based on stereotypes rather than what they actually are like.

i do think josuke feels some sort of way about his lack of a father growing up, but that's as inevitable as joseph himself (or giorno, or jolyne, or even jonathan) having feelings about his own dad, and yet somehow jorge's absence does not get brought up despite joseph and josuke's fairly similar upbringings. the fact is that most of western fandom tends to view the JJBA characters through a (white, usa-centric) lens that simply does not lend itself to a fair or accurate reading when most of the cast is either POC or from an entirely different cultural background. that's why i'm so resistant to label josuke as having 'daddy issues'; the term means something entirely different to me than it seems to do to most of the fandom, based on all the fic, comics, and discussions i've seen (and had) about the topic. it's not exactly like the organised crime aspect of VA, but it fills me with a similar kind of frustration. i don't think one needs a degree in cultural studies or history or whatnot to enjoy a silly series about people punching each other with slutty soul-ghosts, but it's exhausting to see the same thoughtless, very specifically westernised takes being regurgitated over and over as Absolute Truth until the characters are so flanderised they seem nothing as much as a caricature of their original versions. i love transformative works as much as any other fan creator, but i also happen to like the source material. it is infinitely more interesting to me to think about what kind of relationship josuke might have to his heritage as a mixed-race person, or his identity as the son of a single mother or the obviously cherished and spoilt child of a family such as his own (especially in a place and period like canon's late-90s/early 00's japan), than to hear yet another iteration of 'haha, josuke has daddy issues' where the person saying it has no intention of analysing that premise beyond the puddle-depth obvious.

at barely sixteen years old, even as interested in high-end fashion (and as very much part of a working class family who could definitely use the nest egg) as he is, josuke's immediate reaction to being told his missing father is incredibly rich and wants to take care of him is to say that it's not necessary, and he's fine as he is. sixteen. i worked as a teacher with kids as young as a year old and people as old as mid-seventies; that kind of ease of mind is one-in-a-million and not something you'll find on someone who fits fandom's definition of 'daddy issues'. he's not angry at joseph, he's not grasping for money, he hardly even wants to find out more about the missing part of his origins. his only thought is to wish he wouldn't be the reason other people were hurt, and to protect his mother once there is a risk she might find out and be distressed about it. his entire morality system is (from what i remember of canon) mostly based around the question What Would Grandpa Do?, with some leeway allowed for the temper he clearly got from tomoko and for the fact that he is, again, a big and slightly spoilt sixteen year old.

so yeah. it might not sound fair to say he doesn't have daddy issues, but i don't think the terms fandom's operating under are fair to start with, so i'd rather recuse myself (and my interpretation of the character) from it all til we're playing the same game. the sandbox's wide and wild, and the block and mute buttons are there for a reason, so i'll just stay in my corner writing about higashikatas wielding their feelings like sledgehammers til my mum says it's time to go home.

[elegyofthemoon]

i wan bookclub w someone

[captainqster]

I didn't get to do a 2023 Gpose Wrap-Up becaaaause I didn't really have the means to gpose to my satisfaction then! At least not until the fall, which is when I started to learn and experiment more.

So here's my 2024 Gpose Wrap-Up. I didn't include more interesting and story-telling shots because I usually do those in landscape and I wanted to keep the formatting consistent, but I do so love a good portrait (obviously orz).

I had a lot of fun forcing myself to interact more with the fandom and celebrating others' works. The encouragement I found here and especially from my friends helped me to keep going and making and enjoying. It's been a nice creative outlet alongside my writing and rp (also I cheated for December bc technically that was on 11/30 but I haven't done much yet this month and don't know if I'll have time)

Thank you all for sharing your shots and inspiring me to keep going ♥

[merakiui]

to return to the riddle versus trey battle for the fic, it's difficult because both are so appealing.

on one hand, trey who knows nothing of hybrids but wants to do his best so he won't get on the lab's (and riddle's) bad side,,, trey who doesn't understand why you're waking him up in the middle of the night and complaining that it's so hot and sticky; and then he feels between your legs and god you're so wet. and he has no idea what he's doing and you're in heat, but it's too late to phone riddle. he's fumbling around in the dark to click on the lamp and grab his glasses; one thing leads to another and he's fucking you through your heat and you're grabbing at his biceps, his shoulders, whatever part of him you can cling to... and you're falling apart beneath him and it's so cute, but he doesn't. know. what. to. do. T_T and you're blindly depending on and trusting him, which makes it even more tempting.

and then there's riddle who knows your heat is approaching; it's natural for your species. he knows this, so he really shouldn't be surprised when it happens and you're crying in the next room over because it's so unbearable and rutting against the pillows isn't nearly enough. he should have prepared for this. he was going to. he was going to get you toys or medication or something so the issue would be properly dealt with. but he doesn't, and maybe this mindless self-sabotaging was done on purpose. he's conflicted; of course he is. oh, the articles they'll write: dr. riddle rosehearts found to have slept with his specimen patient. what has science come to?! but then all thoughts of preserving his morals and reputation are tossed out the window when you're fucking yourself on his dick and he's so foggy-headed. it's just for the sake of helping you; there's no pleasure to be had from this, but that's a bad lie.

orz orz orz so many thoughts, but i will stop myself from rambling. ;;;

[sencrose]

i’m not much of a resolution person these days but i’ll try anyways (most aren’t writing related, that's what the bingo board is for)

75k words written -> 100k stretch goal

be really brave and enter a cosplay comp at journeyman level lmfao (bonus: don’t stress about placing)

fly out of state for a con

finish making the pajamas i havent touched since i cut out the pattern pieces lmfao (and by doing this, finally learn how to sew a buttonhole. whoops)

find more excuses to use my cricut machine

get back into journaling! either blorbo journal or travel/adventure journal. both would be great though (need to stop buying stickers until i get back into journaling fr lmfao)

attempt no buy half-year for clothes (work clothing excluded, but if something breaks i have more than enough resources to fix it myself unfortunately lmfao), no buy year for makeup (definitely have more than enough of this orz)

idk. something with music. options include: getting into music prod, finishing one transcription piece, or playing again lol

[hismercytomyjustice]

My husband effortlessly outmaneuvered my OCD today. I am still in awe.

I didn’t want to go to my piano lesson. Last week was ROUGH. On top of still struggling with this more advanced piece, I had major migraine brain fog.

The good news is that I didn’t want to fake my own death or wind up in near tears after. Yay, progress! But it wasn’t the best experience otherwise. It was just really frustrating and humiliating to struggle so much.

This more advanced piece has been triggering my OCD like crazy too.

I told him I didn’t want to go today because I hadn’t practiced enough.

He responded with “So?”

It was exactly the right answer. Even though I still tried to push back with, “I haven’t made enough progress.”

And he was just like “The point of you going is to practice. And you did practice.”

“I haven’t practiced enough.”

“Not going isn’t going to help with that.”

T^T !!!

(extended OCD rant below the cut)

I had similar convos with my therapist where she’s insisted that the only thing I need to do for piano is show up for my lessons. That is the only expectation.

My piano teacher would disagree with that, lol. But I get what she’s saying. Because my desire for “doing it right/enough” is my perfectionism OCD talking.

Which is why piano is such good unintentional ERP for me. Because it upsets my perfectionism OCD so much. My therapist has said this multiple times now.

Lol, I also finally told my piano teacher I have OCD and that my OCD loves piano. In that it loves to tell me how bad I am at it. He was telling me last week, “Just play through, it doesn’t have to be perfect.”

Which has become his new mantra for me lately. orz I was playing some for my husband too to show him how far I’ve come and he said the same thing because I kept stopping when I’d mess up. “Just play it through.”

It is SO HARD TO though. Especially with how hard my OCD focuses on every single mistake I make. Which just leads to building anxiety and more mistakes.

I’ve had moments where I’m struggling while practicing and have literally had to tell myself “practicing will only help, it can’t make you worse at this.”

Because lord knows avoidance is one of my favorite compulsions. Because you can’t be bad at something if you don’t do it, amirite? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

God, I also realized my OCD has eased up a bit when it comes to writing (sort of), but now it’s decided to focus on replying to comments on my fics instead. Something I genuinely enjoy doing because getting comments fills my heart with rainbows. It gets riled up with me trying to leave comments too.

My perfectionism OCD has decided this is a great time to overthink every single word I type. Just a constant stream of “You have to give the perfect reply to a comment, otherwise people won’t think you’re grateful enough for them taking the time to comment and they won’t want to read your fic anymore and they’ll hate you.”

And “You’ve left comments on other fics that people have said made their day. If you don’t leave a good enough comment or if you don’t comment at all, they’ll think you don’t like their fic anymore. You know how happy getting comments makes you. If you don’t comment on everything you read, that makes you a bad person.”

None of that is true, ofc. I know it’s not true. I know it’s not even logical. But it is all triggering my avoidance SO HARD. Because I can’t mess it up if I don’t do it at all! So now I have a bunch of comments that have piled up and a bunch of fics I’ve read that I haven’t commented on and I’m starting to ruminate on all of it.

And it’s just like…so objectively ridiculous. That’s not self-compassion, I know. But like, it feels so absurd to be in an OCD spiral over this. Where I am actively spending more time agonizing (ruminating) over the fact that I haven’t done either than it would take to just…reply or leave a comment on a fic.

Like. This is not a life or death situation. This doesn’t even have to be a situation! And yet the spiral continues. I stress, I avoid, I stress about avoiding. And I waste time and energy and brainpower on all of it.

I have the same issue with the other fics I’ve promised too. I’ve been deep into the final chapters of my kid!Alastor fic and hyper focusing on it as a result. But I have been talking about posting Part 8 of my Radioapple series for so long. I threw 8k words at it like a month ago and then started overthinking it and then started worrying about falling behind on my kid!fic. The same for the BG3 oneshot I drafted. All I need to do is edit it so I can post it. But editing to me = executive function (writing somehow does not…?). And, again, I wanted to get caught up on my kid!fic. So now I feel guilty for not finishing it and posting when I said I would.

None of this is anything I should feel guilty for! And I know that. I am doing all of this FOR FUN.

It is supposed to be fun!

AND YET.

Ugh. Not me over here like “My OCD hasn’t been that bad! Why can’t I get anything done?”

Because it picked new things to obsess over and I was late to the party on realizing that. ( ˶ •̀ ⤙ •́ ˶ )

I’m glad I’m meeting with my psychiatrist tomorrow. My depression has been better but now that I’m aware my OCD is ~clinically severe~, I’m hoping maybe she can help get me on something that will do more to help with it. Because while the meds I’m currently on are preventing me from a full blown relapse, I don’t think they’ve been very effective at straight up treating my OCD otherwise.

I’m really hoping a different medication will help. It’s just frustrating to be putting all this work into therapy and all, but not seeing more of a reduction in my symptoms.

Literally one of the questions on the YBOC is: “How anxious would you feel if you were prevented from performing your compulsive behaviors?”

I told her it wouldn’t make me anxious because I don’t WANT to do the compulsions. And if I had a magic button in my head that would make them easier to resist, it would be the greatest thing ever. The compulsions are what’s making me anxious. Most of the time I don’t realize I’m obsessing or compulsing.

So then I get frustrated and upset at myself for not getting things done and it’s only then that I’m like, “Wait, is this an OCD spiral?”

If I could get better at recognizing them sooner and acting sooner, I think it’d go a long way toward helping me. The thing is, I don’t know if this is a medication thing or a me thing and tbh I’m worried it’s a me thing. That I’m not doing something right, and that’s why I’m having such a hard time with it all.

I really hope that’s not the case. Like, I am DESPERATE to get out of these never-ending loops. I just really, really hope that the will is already there and that a different medication can help get my OCD under control enough for me to actually make progress.

T^T Guess I’ll find out tomorrow. Lol, not me stressing now that my psychiatrist is just gonna be like “Your problem is that you aren’t trying hard enough!” Because I think my problem is trying so hard to the point I unintentionally actively sabotage myself… Like I’m trying to fight perfectionism OCD with gasoline instead of water or something.

Ugh. Fingers crossed she can give me some better insight into all this tomorrow.

I’m just curious now too if my OCD has always been this bad and I’m only just now realizing it, or if it’s just been worse in general over the past year or so for whatever reason.

FIX ME, SCIENCE! FIX ME!!!

[suzukiblu]

bestie im sending this message bc im concerned for you! in regards to the crowfunding fic i mean,, and the ao3 rules. i hope you get all the money you need bc u deserve it!! but im unsure if ao3 allows you to do what you’re doing? and i dont want you to get in any trouble w ur account etc etc. like i know you cant have any link to any sort of donations or even allude to getting paid on the fic proper. but i dont think ive ever seen a crowfunding fic or any similar situation... have you researched the ao3 rules? maybe you can post the chapters here on tumblr or on patreon and then when it’s finished / the crowfunding is done you can post it all on ao3? i really dont know orz

Thank you, but I just don't talk about that kind of thing on AO3, obviously, and I'm technically trying to classify this goal-funding less as "commissioned writing" and more as "thank-you gifts for donations" anyway, since a) it IS being done through a donation platform and b) it's not like I'm writing custom pieces to order, I'm just doing more work on a story I came up with myself. But I HAVE done custom commissions and crowdfunded fic before, and either way the line there is thin enough that it might as well be gossamer.

Basically, I figure as long as I'm not asking for money through AO3 or specifically posting there ONLY to try to earn money somehow--and at this point, most of my fics I start posting on Tumblr and only put up on A03 later anyway, and I just about never post art there--it's ethically fine to me, and legally shouldn't present a problem that AO3 would have to deal with. Like, what I'm doing off their site is not something I'm involving them in or shoving in their faces, I'm just using them as an archive as god and the internet intended.

YMMV, but frankly it's kinda silly to me that fanart and even sometimes fancomics are considered "okay" to get paid for to the point that both mainstream and small-time artists can sell prints publicly and post fanart commissions on any site they like without worrying about it, but getting paid for fic is somehow the work of the devil? So I'm not gonna go around throwing the existence of fanfic commissions in AO3's face, but I do consider them to be as ethical as fanart commissions are and don't tend to worry about doing them past avoiding doing anything I think might make trouble for other people.

[silverskye13]

Hi again! Unrelated to cat pics, I do have a book-related question. (Sorry for sending two asks in one night. I only thought of this after sending the fuzz goblin orz). I just finished The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher after seeing it in a list of books you recommended. Given that it's the first non-audio book I've finished in a while, it's safe to say I really liked it! I remember you'd mentioned in the post that you were real into horror, so I was curious if you had any other spooky recommendations you wanted to share. No pressure to respond, of course! Just curious :>

Don't worry about sending multiple asks! If I feel like I can't answer them I will save them for later ^_^

And! Ah!! Let me do some digging. Horror/thriller books fun. Spook books rec list under the cut!

I probably don't need to recommend it, since you've already read one, but T. Kingfisher makes really fun horror. Creepy and suspenseful. I also liked The Hollow Places by her, and her Sworn Soldier books are also horror! For body horror and language, I would rate her horror book somewhere above PG-13 but below R.

I'm also going to blanket recommend Darcey Coates. I have read around 6? Of her books? And there was only one I didn't like. Darcey Coates has an amazing way with specifically haunted house themed horror. She transforms the standard tropes really, really well. And she's not afraid! To let there actually be ghosts!! It's very cool. The Haunting of Rookward House was the first one I read, and stands out still in my memory. One of the scares in particular made me drop the book. I don't know how she manages to write jump scares but,,, oof. The Carrow Haunt is another I really liked the premise of. My favorite by far was Craven Manor. I could probably write a thesis on why I like her horror books so much. To keep it brief: Darcey Coates understands that horror means something (ie the monster is also a theme) and that you have to actually like the characters to be scared for them, and I love her for that.

Her books are rated PG-13. To my knowledge they're all pretty tame.

The Fisherman by John Langan.

Rated E for Explicit, body horror, general gruesomeness.

A more mature read, and two stories in one. A lovecraftian-style horror about two men who are mourning their wives and going fishing -- and the monstrous land they fish on. I go back and forth on how much I like this book. On the worst days it's still a solid 3 out of 5. On the best days, 10/10. I found myself way more invested in the legend of the place than the characters the story was following, but I still got emotion out of the ending.

The Croning by Laird Baron

Rated E for Explicit. Body horror. Slow burn horror.

So, this one has me a bit at a disadvantage because it's been awhile. I remember liking it a lot, but I can't wholly remember the plot. I do remember it's like, lovecraftian horror -- but the monster is the main character's wife. And you, the reader, know it's his wife. But he doesn't. And watching him try to defend the wife he loves so much, while she's obviously some quietly lurking evil, is just, really interesting. They have a family together. They're genuinely happy. But it's like watching someone fall in love with a known serial killer. There's just something... Wrong here.

Good vibes! More of a slower read.

The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in a Castle, by Shirley Jackson

Rated PG-13, slow burn horror

The horror of being alone. Shirley Jackson writes it well. They're older books, and slower and more subtle than a lot of modern horror, but there is something scary about how relatable the characters are. How twisted up it makes you, empathizing with them, watching them descend to their doom. Hill House still makes me cry sometimes, thinking about Eleanor. These books are a bit situational, I feel like. If you know what it's like to be alone, know how existentially scary it is to feel unimportant to the people around you, these books will sink hooks in. If you don't find that concept scary, mostly these books will make you think these people should get out more.

Cold Storage by David Koepp

Rated PG-13 to R, language, fungi based body horror, viscera, violence

I recommended this on my other book recs list, but Cold Storage is just. Fun. It's scary too! When the "monster" gets going it Gets Going. But the main characters are awesome. It reads a bit more like an action book than straight horror, and I so desperately wanted the good guys to win. I was scared for them the whole final act of the book.

Anyway -- mutant mold spores compel people to climb up to high places and explode, spreading their spores around more. Thank God the only outbreak of that got carpet bombed to hell, and the one sample remaining was safely contained in a government facility where it could only be used to research a cure, right? :) Right? :(

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

Rated PG-13, violence, language, adult themes

So this leans a lot harder on conventional fantasy, but there are so many horror themes in this book I'm adding it to the list. A girl is taken from her village every [number I can't remember] years and given to the local dragon [wizard] to keep the villages safe from The Wood. But the Wood is old, cunning, and vindictive, and what once only infected the land has now begun to seed itself within the heart of men.

This book made me feel truly hopeless at times. The characters really are fighting a ruthless enemy, one that should kill them over and over, and yet somehow, they scrape by. The horror of The Wood cannot be understated, and even it's explanation doesn't take away it's strength, in my opinion. It has a happy ending, but man, it's a fight getting there.

Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman

Rated R for everything. Body horror, blood and gore, sexual assault, rape, language, everything

Another one that I waffle back and forth on whether I like it or not. I feel like if I met Buehlman in real life, I would fist fight him over this book. There are some choices I definitely don't like [I thought the last 3 chapters could've been cut]. But. It's fucking scary.

Lucifer has released all the horrors of hell on the medieval world. Plagues. Demons. Tortures. Pillages. Everything. And God... Doesn't answer.

The rest of the book follows a disgraced knight, a gay priest, and a little girl as they trek across medieval Europe, trying to do something about it. The demons are scary and terrible. The people are even more so. If you want a truly bleak and terror filled read, this is a good one. But it's also really, really intense. I had to put it down a few times. This is a scary read. Not a fun read. And mind the tags.

Ten by Gretchen McNeil

Rated PG-13 for blood and violence

Ten teenagers go to an island to have a party. One of them is a murderer. A night of terror ensues.

This is YA horror, so a little more mild than some of the others on this list! But! I loved it! Had some awesome planting, and it really felt like, if I'd just paid a little more attention, I could've figured out who the killer was. There is some masterful weaving of tropes in this book too. The smokescreen of stereotypical characters. I can't talk about it too much or I'll get excited and spoil it. Just. McNeil was smart about this one I think.

The Girl from the Well by Ten Chupeco

Rated PG-13 for blood, violence, and attempted violence against minors by adults

The movie The Ring but from the ghost's perspective -- oh and also there's another even scarier ghost stirring shit up in the background. Another one I can't talk too much about without getting excited and spoiling things. I remember being a bit confused about who the main character was in the beginning. Be ye warned, one of the main characters is, in fact, a vengeful spirit, and she does murder people she doesn't like in terrible ways. It's her toxic trait.

This list is getting super long and I'm getting tired so! I'm going to end it here!

[mostlikelytofangirl]

Fic Writer Q&A

Got tagged by @jgydidnothingwrong :D

How many wips do you have currently?

Oooooh boy, way too many ^^;. Gonna list them in order from most to least likely to see the light of day orz

Ruoyao fake dating sugar daddy AU - currently ongoing

Omegaverse modern sangcheng - currently ongoing

Nieyao reconnecting by taking care of drunk LXC - for nieyao week

Xiyao endgame Mamma mia AU - planned for when the sc one ends

MY helping xusang by distracting WRH after accidentally getting betrothed to WX - I just think it's hilarious

Modern chengyao giving JL a puppy - a whole chapter long already

WRH trapped in a loop until he convices MY not to kill him - two whole chapters long already

A weird ass modern chengyao shared custody that can either be sangcheng&3zun or actual chengyao endgame - structure done and a few chapters

JZX is Madam Jin's bastard - one long chapter almost done

JGY as surrogate for xuanli - half chapter done

Post-nieyao revenge dating sangyao - got two chapters done

I have ideas for other fics too, but those don't have a sole word written yet, and this list is long enough lol

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?

Everyone has their own reasons why they are still WIPs :'). But rn the omegaverse shangcheng one bc it's almost done but my brain is fixated on the ruoyao one bc it's HUGE, so it won't focus on the other one and let me finish it already.

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

It looks like me either forcing myself to work on something and finding my mojo along the way so I actually get a good chunk done... or opening yet another new file to pour down all my sudden ideas and feels for a new WIP :P

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

Not really. I used to, but unless the mood of a song matches the story perfectly, I normally don't bother anymore or just put background jazz to cancel outside noises. If I'm very into a song at that moment, then I just play it and somehow my brain will manage to make it match what I'm writing XD

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?

Normally I just roll with it. I have a general idea of where is it going and how I want it to go and let Jesus take the wheel :'D. Only when I have WAY too many ideas for a fic that is going to be LONG I get organized with a proper structure and timeline, like the ruoyao one and the possibly two endings one.

I tag @wishthefish, @thebiscuiteternal and @hereticcryptid

[summerlycoris]

Hello- I'm Summerlycoris. But I'm happy to go by Summerly, or Summer.

I had a page set up to be my about on desktop, but that doesnt seem to work well anymore (doesnt work at all on mobile?) And it's probably extremely outdated. So I've decided to remake it for a pinned post.

Anyway, I'm an aussie woman. I was born in '95. And according to this poll, I am statistically older than you lol.

Sometimes I draw things. Sometimes I write things. Mostly I've been drawing/writing fnaf stuff. I have an ao3 and DA- same username. Though i either post the stuff here too, or link to it here.

For thing I like to play, I've been stuck on FNAF (again...) for over a year now. Ruin (and the lead up to ruin.) gave me brainworms that I'm trying to exorcise.

I also like...

Splatoon

The Sims (currently playing rotationally in Veronaville, good fun!) I especially love Sims 2 and 3. Sims 4 is fun, but I boycotted it for years until they added toddlers lol. And havent played it muxh recently- favouring Sims 2.

Games in the Tales Of Series (Tales of the Abyss is my all time fav- I also loved playing Tales of Xillia, Tales of Innocence, and Dawn Of The New World. Missed symphonia, because when I was big on tales games it was still only on gamecube orz.)

Spyro games, (especially A Heroes Tail, and Year of The Dragon.)

Undertale and Deltarune, (Chara's my favourite character. I cosplayed them at Magneticon and Supanova, in 2019!)

Irisu Syndrome

Some of Funamusea's games like Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea, and The Gray Garden.

Yume Nikki

Ib.

Pokemon- mostly the older stuff admittedly. (I'm still technically boycotting Sword and Shield due to dexit lol, though really, its because the story seemed really bad.) I liked Legends Arceus, and Pokemon Scarlet though. Haven't played the expansions for scarvio, probably never will.

I don't watch a lot of movies, anime, or tv shows. I liked watching Bojack Horseman and She-Ra. And I have a lot of memories of the .hack series.

For favourite characters- Anise Tatlin from TOTA (could you guess?) And Cassie from FNAF Ruin.

I don't believe in DNI's- if you piss me off, I either won't follow you, or block you.

I'm autistic. I probably don't fit into your box. And don't have any intention on cutting myself up, to do so.

I guess that's about it. Anyway, welcome to my blog!

[grief-worn]

munday: getting to know you ! ! !

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: addi, or sometimes i go by glacier.

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: they/them.

MUSE NAME: on this blog; shadowheart.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: gay hand-holding and parallel play. alternatively; here on tumblr (asks/dms/etc) or on discord if we're friends/good mutuals!

EXPERIENCE: i think my very first roleplay was on gmail chat, pfft. but i also did stuff on deviantart, IRC chatrooms, forums, skype/discord, and this one roleplay site i will not name because it's genuinely awful. (no it's not f-list). i have pretty limited experience writing on tumblr. just recently got back into it here after having a kinda meh experience in the resident evil fandom.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: not sure if this means like ... 3rd person? or like ... paragraph length? or what, but i'm open to pretty much anything! i'm super open-minded. i don't even dislike the infamous 1st person writing style, as someone who hungrily consumes reader insert fanfics.

PET PEEVES AND DEAL-BREAKERS: kind of a hard one to answer, but here's what i can think of off the top of my head:

guilt by association: dealt with a bit of this in another fandom. just because i'm writing with someone doesn't mean i'm aware of their issues. curate who you follow and what you see on your dash for sure, i will always understand quietly blocking to maintain your own peace, but i've gotten mixed up in some weird stuff just because i ended up writing with the wrong person.

heavy formatting: this isn't like, that big of a deal-breaker, i just specifically have poor eyesight and difficulty reading/processing words if there's a bunch of different fonts, and font sizes, and colors, and whatnot. definitely might be something i ask people to tone down, but it doesn't really make me mad haha.

soft blocking instead of hard blocking: i'm pretty stupid. please make it obvious if you don't wanna interact anymore! otherwise i won't realize and i'll probably accidentally make it worse orz.

vagueposting/sub-tweeting: that stuff is kinda mean and weird. i don't like seeing it!

PLOTS OR MEMES: either one is awesome, but they both definitely have their contextual uses! sometimes a bit of talking beforehand is nice, sometimes i like just winging it. they're both fun!!

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: again, they're both fun. long replies are sort of harder to get to since they take so long to write but sometimes that's exactly what i want; to get lost in a reply for like 2 hours straight. not sure if i have a preference, it's just that short replies are faster and therefore fit better into my daily schedule, but that doesn't mean i don't love dumping my text walls <3

BEST TIME TO WRITE: unfortunately i've found that writing at 4am when everyone is asleep is a WONDERFUL time for my creativity hehe. i wish i could write as good in the daylight hours lol !!!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: yes and no. personality wise; not really. we're both kind of goofy deep, deep down. and i project a lot of myself onto her, but i think that's just because her story and trauma resonate with me very strongly! i try not to like, overwrite her character and inject too much of my own stuff. i honestly just have the biggest, fattest crush on her and i need more of her in whatever way i possibly can have. i guess we both love animals. but i'd never have such ugly bangs. ew, shadowheart.

tagged by: @astralrogue (thank you very much!)

tagging: whoever wants to do this :3 it's sharing a lot of ooc info so i don't wanna pressure peeps!!!

[b00m-b0mb]

do u have lore/a storyline in ur head for wandering karate perchance? i love them a lot :')

AHHH... Wandering Karate, my truest beloved!!!! I do!! But I am rewriting my canon :3c so this is kind of messy and due for a little bit of changing maybe?! Orz !!!!!!!!

UH.. WEOW... cringe...

The basis for a lot of this is a really old fic I wrote for myself that doesn't exist anymore waaa qwqq sorry if this doesn't make sense!

• Joe's family lives in one of the villages Ronin (Wandering Samurai) has rescued.

• Specefically I imagine the one in "Super Samurai Slice", since he leaves unnoticed.. However, Joe saw the whole thing! (Imagine this is some like, 3rd incident lol)

• I like to think Joe would attempt to jump into action and help out (foolishly brave!), but due to being a teensy bit of a clutz he ends up being carried most of the way.

• But he still helped out you know, and like, real danger! Ronin is impressed. And gave compliments where it was due

• Samurai is invited for a drink / some steak and rice. They hang out!! They just chat. I think both of them are a little lonely, and it was just easy to talk. And they did, for hours.

• Joe's inspired by Ronin's skill. Ronin thinks Joe is inspiring for jumping into the situation despite his misteps. Like the desire, but weak energy for skill (Joe, who i project chronic fatigue onto lol), in contrast to the unstopping precise performance, that could fear nothing more than a mistep.

• To me, Joe is a guy who's embarrassed a lot, but he keeps trekking! But hes also frozen still into his current situation, unable to free his wings. While Ronin has light feet when it comes to his embarrassments. And, ofc, cannot let himself stay too long, anywhere! I think due to his nature, he's lonesome and is locked into a endless cycle of self reflection/percieved redemption (over critical)

• Anyways the family comes home. And Ronin's like, ah, I shall go. (Not wanting to be a disturbance) and heads out the door.

• BUT Senior is like "Joe, I need you to pick up my epic gi from -inserts convenient far away comical temple post office-" and Joe, somehow not irritated, and now given a journey, is like 💡‼️ and chases after Ronin.

• He really wants to tag along for just a while. He helped after all! Whats some more time together..? Ronin briefly attempts to decline, before deciding the company wouldn't be a bother... letting Joe come along- call this a ROADTRIP!

• Anyway, the idea was they had two nights of travel / chitchat, with a bit of shenanigans to themselves. Learn about one another. Kind of can see a glimpse into the others perception. And like.. yah... Dudes who want to be friends so bad, everytime they talk there's a silent spark inside both of them bc they're so lonely and a!!!!

• My oc, Karate Maccie, played into my fic uhmm,,, she became the unwanted child tagalong. She's the comic relief pretty much lol!!! but she also is like really trying to set them up as friends you know? She sees these two introverts trying to make it happen. She thinks Joe could use the friend :] She's also just nosey. I know what you are (lonely.)

• More shenanigans & silly adventure for Senior's mail... In the end, Joe and Ronin would have to part ways, but, they would keep touch in letters!!!! Joe being given a post office to write to, and Ronin promising to be there in time to recieve it!

Also I think Maccie + Ronin would have a mini rivalry arc, but it's mostly one sided from Maccie's end lol, and by the end it's somewhat resolved, and Ronin actually offers to train with her or something some time! They all had fun okay! Ugh!!!

I think from there their relationship is just you know, they get each other I guess? They share their thoughts in letters, and are honest and discuss anything and yeahaha... Sometimes a letter is just. "I saw a bird :)" -drawing-, and they get it...!!! they repeatedly will express in their letters how much they truly treasure the others company. Idk man!!! Queer platon guys okay!!!!!

Ronin would definitely make time to come around and visit the village, and Joe would up and leave the house w/o anouncing for mini trips to travel and meet the wandering samurai when hes close to the area!! Skipping practice?! For the samurai he holds dear?! It's serious, you know!!!

But I think the tension takes forever to boil over into melting their boundaries with one another. These dudes need to embrace. So bad. I think. But it's so hard, when you know the lack of it can hurt???? But one day.. I will feel confident enough in both of us, to hold you...??? And know that even when we part, ill see, and hold you again? Wails???

Uhgrhrbrbmammamaaammama 👍👍👍 normal about burnt out souls that are maybe a little mentally ill <33333333 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ugh,h,m,m,,,,,,

Also they both have a somewhat similar family life in my hcs. Dead mothers, somewhat strained relationship with father, tradition, a clash in how they want to live? Something. They can't be together, but they treasure and hold their shared time dearly, and hold their long distance relationship with nurture :) I lovegh. Them.

Also, food for thought- Bon Odori is also in the village Joe lives in. (And I hc the toss boys are kids in this village, so fourth) maybe Samurai Slice Endless (DS) is there too :] I think he'd do that anywhere needed, but I like the idea of him going from not well known anywhere aside from few legends, to becoming apart of this community because of Joe? Or something? Sobs...??? Sorry idk...

Also I imagine a mini plotline of their relationship regarding the fact Ronin doesn't have a true name + Joe's rise to doing things outside the house ??? Things.. !!!

and and UHHHGGGGGGG rhythm heaven head canon world I missed you.....

[gffa]

(About your ‘not being cool’ post)

Your love for things is what I love about following you though! Because I’m here to enjoy things too! So for what it’s worth, I think your blog is pretty cool, and at least if it’s not then we’re uncool together. And now that I think about it, isn’t that the point of fandom? Being ‘uncool’ together? 😂

High five for another uncool person! I admit, I sometimes desperately want to get in with other fans who are writing things that hit me in the metaphorical solar plexus because they're so sharp and have such delicious bite and they're incredibly cool, even when I suspect they would probably find me deeply annoying, but that ultimately I also very much admire people who embrace being silly and goofy and flailing around a lot, because I love those people, too. I pine wistfully sometimes, but then get over it, because I know that if I remade myself into being 'cool', I would only stare even more wistfully over at the people being silly and just having a silly good time. And I want to cozy up to people like you as well, who are so sweet to reach out like this, like I want to talk to people about silly things, I don't want to be intimidating (well, okay, maybe a little, it might be nice for five minutes, but ultimately, no, I want people to feel they can approach me and talk to me genuinely), so I'm just kind of settling in the middle with "acknowledge my genuine desire to be cool, but that it's a temporary want, and the home I really want to make is in the silly goober camp, and then make fun of myself a little in a silly shitpost to get it out of my system". And you are so right! It's not that the cool people don't openly love things as well, they do! But often times they're not as goofy about it (and I find that admirable, none of this is about saying any way of behavior is more right or wrong than any other way!) and they're having fun in fandom in their own way and, who knows, I have met so many genuinely cool people like this that do like me back! I'm just up in my own head sometimes (Star Wars fandom did a number on me), but also I want to agree so wholeheartedly with your ultimate point: It's okay to be uncool in fandom, like we're nerds on the internet, we're watching/reading often very silly stories and there's nothing wrong with embracing that. We can take them seriously, there's a lot of genuinely thoughtful and depthful things to discuss here! But it's also okay to be silly and goofy and sometimes I need the reminder that others are happy to be here with me, too. <3 (Can you tell I'm avoiding cleaning? I have drafted so many character ask game responses to schedule for tomorrow to spread them out a bit, because I really don't want to have to go organize the bathroom. orz)

[merakiui]

👀 i literally have u on notifications but im afraid of liking first bc omg!

⏰ i love all your work and your little mumblings they’re all so yummy — honestly i can’t imagine how much you write for these little idiot boys, i have a tumblr with the sole purpose of writing twst fluff that i semi-abandoned bc writing is so draining for me

💌 see above ^^

💖 literally self explanatory since i stalk your page day in day out — i literally stayed up all night to finish one of your longer fics (until 7am!) this summer

🥵 quite literally ur work makes me horny lol >w< i have a hyper specific favorite scene you wrote

🍓when you write fluff in your mumbles, its literally the most perfect thing in the world— PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write more fluff

🎀 omg riddy in fairy-tale felicity was so sweet i loved him so much

🌺 they’re all so evil i love them so much

💡i can’t even imagine how many ideas you have in your smart noggin of yours i wanna kiss your forehead bc they’re all great

💎 your mind,,, omg you write everyone so perfectly. literally we connect via brainwaves on what the tweels act like

🧛‍♀️ THE NEWEST ROLLO FIC MAKES ME WANNA READ MORE OMFG he’s my prophet <333

(ask game)

AAAAA THANK YOU OMG!!!!! 💖 this is so sweet,,, and it means so much to me....

The twst fixation is too strong...... since it's a dream of mine to make a career out of writing one day, a lot of it is practice (and feeding the worms in my brain)!!! :D but also,,, writing is a very big part of who I am and so I can't imagine myself without writing!!! Whether it's for fandoms or ocs,,, I am always typing away at my laptop hehe.

But omg!!!! I must know because I am terribly curious,,,,,, (if you're willing to share ofc and if not that is perfectly okay!!!) which specific favorite scene might that be?? 👀 I always hope my smut work is good enough to instill just a sliver of horny in readers, so I'm happy I'm doing it correctly mwahaha!! >:D

( ˶°ㅁ°) !! I actually really love writing fluffy things. >w< cute and silly shoujo-esque romances are very fun to read and write....... I'm having the most fun adding in all of the fluffy moments in Floyb rom-com. The first sex scene is meant to be just pure horny, but I wrote it way too lovingly. ;;;;;; soft, sappy Floyb whose love feels sticky-sweet and syrupy........ yeah. („ᵕᴗᵕ„) fairy-tale felicity is one of my favorite Riddle works!! I loved writing soft yan. orz Dr. Rido is too cute...... he deserves a horsegirl. She would be very good for his mental health methinks.

🤝 us when our minds align for tweel thoughts!!!! I love those stinky, silly eels with all of my heart. orz an impossible amount of ideas for them stored in my head at all times... AND THANK YOU FOR READING THE NEWEST ROLLO FIC!!!!!! 🫶 he can make me his angel anytime. <3