#do i have a lot of fun conspiracising about real events? you bet your butt

[clarionglass]

lads. lads oh my god. once again i am caught up in magnus archives-esque bullshit in my day-to-day

so i don’t think i’ve put this anywhere on the internet but i’ve just (read: within the last couple of months) started a new job, it’s like a day a week and v flexible so it fits v v nicely with all my teaching

so i’m working with an orchestra, like, not the full-time state orchestra but the next rung down, all v v v professional musicians and staff it’s just not full time. unfortch this isn’t a performance job but at least i’m in the office a bunch so if they ever need another flute they can just look to the library room and hello! there i am! anyway yeah it’s in the library. i originally applied for the librarian job, didn’t get it, but a mate who works there saw my cv in the pile and sent me a message like “hey u want work?” to which i replied “yes of course,” proving once again that it’s not what you know it’s who you know

technically my job title is “library processing assistant”. basically i go through the many, many, many drawers of the filing cabinets in the music library, and go through the score folders, updating the catalogue to make sure what’s on there is correct for what we have (often it’s not and we’ve got parts missing), standardising the catalogue, and labelling the parts so that if anything goes missing again, we can more easily track it down. i.e. if you know there should be 4 viola parts and after a concert only 3 come back, you can ask all the violas if they gave their music back. rather than just being like “did we have 3 parts or 4? :shrug emoji:” so in other words, i’m an archival assistant. literally, i am the martin/tim/sasha of my workplace. which is good and fine! i had a brief chuckle at being a tma nerd and getting an archival job, then just got on with it. it’s been a good job! and actually a Lot less stressful than teaching lately! so yay!

fast forward to yesterday, when the email for the work christmas party comes in. it’s going to be “an activity and dinner”. and the email had the phrase, and this is a direct copy-paste here:

“...please let me know ASAP if you have any issues with claustrophobia, fear of heights, not able to climb stairs, if you fall outside of the weight range of 40-140kgs, are unable to walk for more than 2km...”

which of course makes me wonder what the Fuck this activity is going to involve. and gets all my tma senses going buckwild, bc that’s the buried, the vast, and possibly the hunt right there. add dinner, that might get the flesh into it too. at my work christmas party. ya know, the work where i work as an archival assistant. naturally i come out of the poky lil library room to ask what the hell is up with that list, and boss’s pa assures me “it won’t be life-threatening” (cheers babe, that thought actually hadn’t crossed my mind yet), but “i’m not sure how much of a surprise [boss] wants it to be” i tell her that it’s fine to be a surprise, it’s just an intriguing list, then go back to the library and attempt to get on with my work. i do not see my boss for the rest of the day.

now, a little bit of info about my boss: i’ve found her great, and i love what she’s doing with classical music in my state! good points all round! and i’ve always got on with her perfectly fine, i think i’m a fairly easygoing person, but when i first told another muso friend i got a job there they said “oh, hm. what’s it like working with her? i’ve heard she can be a bit interesting to work with, i know there’s been quite a bit of staff turnover there” which doesn’t tally with my experience at all! but in the current context... also, i should probably note. she’s english, with very grey eyes.

basically i may very well die at my work christmas party? idk lads but wish me luck