#do i even bother tagging gmod?

[ferretoats]

(THE TITLE IS GONE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BRING IT BACK) [Okay so this unintentionally turned into a mini essay(can I call it that?) about my experience with Undertale and video games in general- Is this how I am suppose to use Tumblr?]

Going back maybe around the year of 2015 or 2016 (I was 11), my brother showed me a video clip of what looked like an image of a calculator attached to a vacuum chasing after a child.

Younger me: "I guess math is scary?"

Of course I didn't know it at the time, but that calculator was a character from the game called Undertale.

Some time in December my siblings sat me down on our living room couch and then made me play this game with a controller (I mained keyboard and mouse). They guided me through a pacifist run, a play through of the game where you do NOT kill anything and you better swear to not even look at that FIGHT button or else- Or well at least that was how it felt. At the beginning I didn't know why I had to avoid fighting at all cost. I was just told that it wasn't the best option. When I finished the game, I didn't want to play it again or do it any other way... but that might just be because I got too emotionally attached to the characters... But then if lets say my siblings didn't tell me anything or help, would I have still gotten a neutral route? One where I end up killing some of the characters?

To start with my gaming experience at that point has been mostly these games: Minecraft, Garrys mod, and Team Fortress 2 (Maybe a bit of Terraria?)

So, I had no reason to really assume the "at 0 health you faint" like in Pokemon, because in games like Terraria and TF2 you die, explode, or combust into confetti when you reach 0 (mostly explode). Also in most of those games hurting anyone (even on accident) generally leads to death for one or both sides. In Minecraft you did the little up-down crouch animation and then jumped around when the other joined in. Somehow even in TF2, a game where you can decapitate your enemies, has a subtle way of communicating "Hey wait! Lets be friends." -Which happens sometimes when one side doesn't shoot (and prolonged awkward eye contact).

In a weird way we had Undertale before it was even a thing, it's just that most games never really have a built in "friendly" system when the main goal is to kill. TF2 might be one of those exceptions (did you know you can heal your own enemies by throwing a sandwich at them?). However even then it all depends on how you or the person reacts to non-combative or passive behavior. Personally I try to treat any kindness in return in any game, and take the punches if I fail. So, I like to think I would have ended up doing the pacifist run first time around.

I am also pretty sure that moment where Sans gives you the whole "you gained love not LOVE" (Level Of Violence and... Experience?? wasthereevenan"E"?) talk flew over my head... because well I think I remember genuine confusion- Clueless 12 year old: "like yeah man that's how the game is supposed to go right?? But thanks ig??? Also why did you say it in caps?"

[I couldn't find the video so have the gif version of the Vine that was used]

[mrfellsans]

HWJWJJS THANKS FOR TAGGING ME!!

Favorite color: black, red, pink, back then my fav color was green but since I had so much red and black to my blog and characters I just started getting really into these colors and for pink idk why I love it so much but I do I sometimes use it with my characters

Last song listened to: I was listening to a lot of old songs because they are absolutely amazing, I'm guessing something from the Beatles, kiss, queens, ac/dc, bon jovi, Nirvana, etc

Currently reading: 🙁I only read one book this whole summer lmao (haven't picked a book up since unless it's a sketchbook lmao)

Currently watching: SAIKI K, AND MOB PSYCHO 100 AAAA I FREAKING LOVE THESE ANIMES SJSJSJJS

Want to watch: ALL THE DEADPOOL MOVIES, ALL THE SCREAM MOVIES, FRIDAY THE 13TH, ALL THE MICHAEL MYERS MOVIES/HALLOWEEN, THE EXORCIST, THE SHINING, GRAVITY FALLS, THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS REBOOT, UHH YES THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT RNN

Currently craving: burritos. Always. burritos are my fav food especially if it's from that one small restaurant I went to in Ecuador HELL YEA sooo good aaa😍

Coffee or tea: COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE (I might die early bc of my love for coffee tho I barely drink it)

Hobbies in mind: hmm well right now drawing digitally and in my notebook, playing video games with my brother, playing PC games especially like gmod right now, hanging out with my sister and then with my brother, yapping to my cat ginger

Current aus:

Smg8 crew: this au is still in development but I've already made a lot of story for the main character smg8, I just need to make the rest of the smg8 crew and then we will be all good >:3

Betrayed: holy shit where do I start, this story is an intense one that I love so much, it's a comic collab with @luigigirl12 and we've been working on it for a while. I am still working on it now having at least 45+ panels done for this comic!

Mr!UnderfellAU: this au has some deep lore it's been a while since I've posted about it but my whole account is literally based off of this au but mostly the sans in this au, this au has so much lore done all I need is to make some character designs and yea! But other then that this au can get pretty dark once you learn more about it!

It's all your fault ⎎⍀⟟⌇☍ ☌⍀⏃⋏⎅⌿⏃

Smg4: ✩Death wish au✩: is an au I am not even close to finishing and have never really mentioned but it's an au about a evil god that has been sealed in a box for over millions and millions of years, his name is Gumi and I know it's a silly name and all but he is horrible, he has one eye and I haven't really been able to come up with many design ideas yet other then like a weird deformed looking thing with one eye, this au is also pretty depressing for Mario because he's been given a curse that it's like everybody has a certain time above there head and if the timer ends above there head Mario has to kill them even if he doesn't want to gumis spirit makes him do it anyway, why? Because he feels like it. Worse of all the people with the least time are closest to Mario(smg4, luigi, meggy)

Tableware highrise: an old classic that's been hanging on my account for a while now, in this pizza tower au it's focused on Tableware and stuff, peppino owns a tableware store when suddenly a nasty germ highrise comes by to try and defeat peppinos business by spreading dirt and germs onto plates and etc, peppino doesn't let this slide and uses his water pump as a weapon to clean off enemies and make them nice again. I've finished all the designs for bosses in this au but didn't make the stages or floors. Fun fact peppinos pump is literally based off of super Mario Sunshine Mario's pump

The✩CircusCasino✩: an au where peppino or in other words CC runs a huge circus and casino all at once and is constantly almost being assasinated or people trying to defame him, this didn't bother him until one day coinhead came by and made a huge casino, circus, plus waterpark and now peppino needs to find a way to not lose all his money (I haven't came up with designs for here at all sadly but I do have CC peppinos design done)

Punk✩Burger au: this au is actually pretty simple, it's about a dude named PB Pino that works at a joint called the PunkBurger, here all the bosses are friends and all work together as employees to run this joint it's pretty chill and nothing really happens but if the employees aren't there for the day burgerhead and coffeeface bring random people from random universes to work there, this au is like those random pit stops you would see while traveling to different universes lol

Here's an example lol

YUPII YUPII THAT'S ALL

@yago-undertale @little--critter @cutechan555 @izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin @pizzatowet13 (anyone else that is booties with me or wants to join you can >:3 I'm so tired I can't even think of many ppls rn lmao)

I was tagged by the wonderful @jqmon ! Thank youuuu and here I go;

Favorite color: Purple, navy blue, and neons in general! They're pretty nice and can stand against a black background.

Last song i listened to: I have just had a random playlist on right now actually, but I think its called A Mask of my Own Face by Lemon Demon!

Currently Reading: "Camouflage of Great Reknown" by RatCandy! Again AUGH i love this fic Zote is me and i am Zote. Anyways, I would go on a tangent about that but this shouldn't drone on longer than my usual ramblings wahahazzzzz Also, "To Kill a Mocking Bird" By Harper Lee.

Currently watching/rewatching: "Yokai Watch!" and "Brave the Animated Series!" I've watched the latter almost 17 times in counting now aodjoeod, it's one of my faves that rivals Yokai Watch (which is pretty impressive if you know me!)

Want to watch/rewatch: "Yo-kai Watch" (OG), "Good Omens", "The Good Place", the new TMNT show and "ROTTMNT"! Quite the list but y'know =u=.

Currently craving: What I would do for some tiramisu right now...

Coffee or Tea: Same as prev, I like em both! I do like them like my chocolate though; a little more on the bitter side!

Hobbies in Mind: Drawing (digital and traditional), singing, playing videos games, and general crafts. I'd try to make anything once ○°w°○ wwwww.

Current AU: I have an unnamed Yokai Watch AU featuring my sona/character Caspian! I like making random stuff for it but I don't have a post or anything on it yet tho aifkoeod. Not to say I haven't fleshed some of it out or come up with a plot+official refs rho! (Fun fact if you've seen some of my posts; the yokai redesigns I showed yall a while ago were mostly just an excuse to show you the AU versions wwwww^) That, and a little personal world thing with two irls that I love <33 (COUGH. @samiisams and @sketchdeath22 ..... they have amazing stuff go look ooooo......)

People who I wanna get to know better: Hope y'all don't mind the tagggggggg!

@analog-smiles @c00kietin @strange0-0storm @amf-studios @aura-bug @suppai-limes @sketchdeath22 @samiisams

Love y'all!/p (hope I didn't accidently tag anyone whose already participated auiemdhjcr...)

[wasflypaw]

I want to talk about an image going round on the internet that's been bothering me for Years but knowing the internet I'll wake up to 70 people sending me said image and sending me into an anxiety attack (maybe that's my anxiety talking..)

This image. I'm not going to say what it is but it's the Only image to ever effect me the way it has. I first saw it in around 2019 and the feeling of dread went through my body to the point where I still remember feeling that way Today.

And then it gave me nightmares for a month or so. For context I dont usually Have dreams that freak me out. And because it was a popular image going around I'd run into it everywhere, from YouTube thumbnails to Facebook posts to tweets to Tumblr posts etc etc.

I already have severe anxiety so that was just Awful, it made me terrified to browse the internet for a while. It's not as popular now but every so often I stumble into the image and flinch. I saw it again a few weeks ago and while it didnt affect me as badly the figure in the image would proceed to appear in my dreams for the next Week

And even occasionally itll appear in my thoughts. I'll be vibing playing Minecraft or some shit and suddenly I'll think. What if I turn the corner and I see [Redacted]. The thought goes away quite quickly but

I just. Dont know where I'm going to see it. There's no preparing for it. It's not tagged Ever. I tried looking up something to do with the Ao3 drama a couple weeks back and the image was just There in someone's profile picture. I tried looking through the Minecraft tag and there it Was, not the original image but a Gmod Model of it, so it didnt get me too bad. still flinched though