#do feel free to tell me to censor/ make a break for it if needed!!!

[strawberriederror]

I forgot people here know me woopsies.. but anywho, here’s an Art drawing I decided to make! 💝

And a new little banner for my Art drawings!!! I honestly loved making it, I might make more <3

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ateez as Boyfriends [Explicit Ver.]

yet another collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell. idk what this is but it's smut and it's a filthfest in here sooo MDNI!!

lmao when we think about it now we don't even know how we came to write this (speed write it more like) but this has collected dust in the drafts for a good while anddd it's our first time writing smut like this (minus my woo fic) so here we are :') Enjoy!

Hongjoong

eye fucks you

literally when he is in the mood he will let his eyes scan you ever so slowly

tease.

i just think that most of the times you’ll be in the studio

and studio sex calls for you in his lap to get his attention

while his attention remains undivided on his pc

until you grind-

one wrong move and you’re done for

if he doesn’t want you to break his focus at that moment, he’s probably gonna growl and bite your shoulder with the promise of what’s about to come

and threaten you with things he would do to you once he is free

however, if you've succeeded?

immediately on to you

lips everywhere and anywhere on your body

tongue in your mouth

i feel like even if he tries to go slow, he’s the type to lose control in the middle of it

and go super intense and heated

loves it when his hands are on your hips and controlling your movement

the type to wedge his thigh between your legs as you make out 

and watch you become a mess as you grind on it

or when you’re sitting on him, he’ll hook your legs over his to stop you from closing them

he’ll finger you until you’re squirming in his lap

punish you for distracting him and being a bad girl

neck kisses he’s gonna leave pretty marks all over you

will praise the f outta you (not me censoring this.) 

will probably move around a lot during sex

like one moment you’re in his lap

next you’re on the couch, he’s on top of you

until you switch

and then he has you standing up and suddenly you’re pinned against the wall

will not miss a chance to go down on you

knows exactly how to make you cry

and i mean cry.

laughs against your throbbing core and the vibrations oh goodness

absolutely loves the feeling of your fingers gripping his hair in desperation

nips you everywhere

and when you’re finally begging him to give you what you want, that’s when he’ll let you have some moment of control

probably curses in pleasure

loves watching you on top of him but makes sure you know who’s in control (him)

he’s gonna spice things up when you’re reaching climax

i think i said he knows how to make you cry so go ahead and imagine

will overstimulate you before he wraps things up hehe

i just feel like his fingers on your clit right before you come and it’s 10x more intense

would love to come inside you when he can ;)

hongjoong would also probably record the audio of your moans during sex and when you climax (with consent ofc)

and on nights when he’s missing you he’ll play it through his headphones and touch himself wishing you were here

takes such good care of you when you’re done like you joke that he’s suddenly worried if you’re okay when he fucked you like there’s no tomorrow-

but really he’s all prepared he’s immediately making sure you have what you need- water, cuddles, round 2, you name it

will kiss your forehead as he assures you you’re his muse, the love of his life and all that sweet stuff :’)

you whine that you feel all sticky and gross

he definitely has an abundance of tissues and wet wipes in his studio

when people ask him why he has so many he tells them it’s for yknow cleaning

if you guys are back home in the shower though?

omg he is so soft and all about the romance

makes you feel so so loved

holds you in his arms for the longest time

or you’re in the middle of doing something and he grabs your wrist

and pulls you towards him with the biggest smile on his face

hands on your hips as he sways you around

and you just know that look in his eyes means he’s in the mood and he’s going to make this a memorable night for both of you

you’ll hook your arms around his neck and sway to the music that is in your heads

guided by his movements

he tells you what he’s feeling. no filters

and you appreciate that so much about him

would definitely have a post-sex playlist that he’s made with like slow candle-lit dinner vibes

plays it with a speaker in the bathroom as he presses long and lazy kisses against you

basically a very love-driven makeout session :((

hehe but he most definitely nibbles all over the marks he’s left on you with a sense of achievement

loves when you wear one of his shirts over just your panties as you go to bed together

it’s the possessiveness in him i’m telling you

he’s quick to fall asleep but you can see a faint smile on his lips as you caress his head or his face

and you tell him all the reasons you love him

you can swear his hold on you tightens even though he is fast asleep

and you’re going to wake up with him looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on :(( 

even tho you look like an absolute mess in the morning-

Seonghwa

tongue.

man has a mouth on him like have you seen his lips?

the prettiest lips in ateez 

and his tongue????

he is the best kisser in ateez fight me

he knows how deadly his tongue is

and he’s going to use that to his advantage

makeout sessions are gonna be next level with him

and when his tongue goes elsewhere-

like when he kisses your neck?

or anywhere for that matter??

you literally cannot breath

it’s like it’s turning him on too

makes the dirtiest noises you bet 

he loves the feeling of your thighs clenching around him because it means that you’re close

he praises you and tells you that you have the prettiest moans

loves that you’re making those sounds just for him

he’ll enjoy overstimulating you

he coos and tells you to give him one more orgasm baby as he digs his fingers knuckle-deep into you

he knows your body so well

he can tell exactly when you’re about to come

like, he’ll say “come for me” because he knows that’s what tips you over the edge

and then when he’s satisfied with how many times you’ve come for him

that’s when he gets started

when you guys are fucking there are two different moods

sometimes he likes to take it slow and worship your body

pepper kisses all over your face and anywhere he can reach

presses his body against yours like he has to be touching every part of your exposed skin

drags his length in and out of you slowly so he can feel every inch of you

will latch his lips onto yours and explore your mouth with his tongue

likes to hold your hand :’((( i love him so much

other times it’s hot and fast and needy

his hands roam all over your body and through your hair

rolls your nipples between his fingers to make your back arch 

moans into the kisses

bites your lower lip

either lets you run your hands wherever you want or pins them to whatever surface you’re on

you fist the sheets beneath you or grip his shoulders

he grunts and pants in between praises of how tight you are and how good you feel

before he’s coming hard into you

i’m convinced that when hwa comes his eyes roll back and he lets out the deepest moan

it’s so filthy his expression alone can make you reach your climax honestly

his warmth fills you up (pls use a condom irl)

and when he pulls out, the sight of his cum leaking out of you has him half-hardening again

he loves to see how he’s ruined you

and you best bet he’ll help clean you up-

with his mouth

he’ll hold your legs apart as you writhe from sensitivity

as soon as you both come down from your orgasms, it’s like all the dom has left his body

he literally becomes the softest when he’s doing aftercare like his touch is suddenly delicate and he’s holding you like you’re fragile

“sir, i’m pretty sure you’ve left bruises on my body but okay”

“ah, did i? shall i kiss them so they get better?”

and you grin bc you’re lovestruck

and he feels so proud that he made you smile bc that means you’re okay

literally every second sentence that comes out of his mouth will be praise

that you did so well for him

that you’re so beautiful

that you’re all that he could ever ask for

<33333

peppers soft kisses on your face and kisses your knuckles

brings you sth warm to drink and cuddles you all night

i feel like he’s the type to love feeling skin on skin when cuddling

especially after having sex

he just has his boxers on and you just have your panties on

and he loves to hold you close to him and just feel you next to him in such an intimate way :’(((

he can’t keep his hands off you but it’s completely innocent

traces little patterns and shapes on your back

splays his hand over your tummy

rests a hand over your chest bc he likes to feel your heartbeat

and he does it unconsciously too, even during pillow talk

you two can talk for hours about anything and everything deep into the night

it doesn’t even matter what the pillow talk is about all you two want is to hear each other’s voices

imagine hwa’s post-sex husky deep voice akjfldsg

but you two talk and cuddle for so long neither of you even realise when you’ve fallen asleep

in the morning he wakes up before you but he stays cuddling you until you wake up so that he’s the first thing you see <33

there’ll be lots of lazy kisses before he gets up to make you a cute breakfast

Yunho

eye fucks you pt 2

literally the way he just watches you at times

like he’s drinking in the sight of you

before he kisses you he’s going to cup your face and look at you for the longest time

and you can see a thousand undecipherable emotions in his eyes

hesitates a bit before he kisses you but once you’re into it he’s a changed man

idk about you but i feel like his tongue can do wonders

i just think he’s a natural at this he kisses you like he’s been doing it forever and will never get tired of it 

makeout turns heated pretty quick and one thing leads to another-

will be vocal during sex too like

he needs to hear you say some stuff before you proceed

he needs to hear your voice to confirm you’re feeling good

he’s pretty much driven on that

he aims to please you. 

his hands. need i say more?

he drives you crazy with his hands alone

even when they’re cupping your face or like holding you behind your neck

you love his hands in your hair

you love it when you feel his big hands anywhere on your body for that matter

especially when they’re gripping your thighs

and his long fingers omg

just a brush of them in the inside of your thigh or near your core and you’re done for

makes you a writhing mess before he will even touch you

will also pin you on nearest surfaces 

and lets his mouth and thighs do the rest

probably loves when you ride his thigh too as he makes out with you

to the point you almost come on that alone

he just loves when you want to be in control but he restrains you

and you gladly let him

will at times let you dom him

but he just thinks that you’re cute for trying

really, he’s watching all smug, watching you on top of him, waiting until he’s had enough

and then he’s flipped you

he’s pinned you to the bed and he dwarfs you grrr 

“now it’s my turn”

if you think cuddling while lovemaking is a soft trait? make it hard for yunho

like he’s just burying his nose in the crook of your neck while he pumps into you

spoons you from behind as he rubs his length against your ass

or kissing your temple or head and moaning against you

and oh goodness his weight on you when he’s on top of you i-

will mumble praise into your ear

“you’re so fucking wet baby” hdsjhjkdfhg

“you feel so good”

and you’ll def praise him in return he loves that

not afraid to experiment with you

and he’s always just so supportive of your wants and needs

he’s also fully capable of driving you insane like he can be a little shit sometimes-

his hand around your throat.

his hand being able to wrap around both of your wrists

loves to pin your wrists above your head

when he’s approaching his orgasm he’ll see what you need

probably loves it when you come together

and he’ll pump all that inside you he won’t stop

will remain inside for a good few moments until he pulls out

and then it's just another round of teasing each other as he takes care of you

“can we shower together now?” but you know it will lead to shower sex

“will you let me spoon you after i clean you up?”

“only if i don’t find your dick hardening against my ass in the middle of the night, yunho”

the teasing is just ramped up honestly

you two flick soap suds at each other

he smacks your ass and it startles you and you slip a little in the shower

he makes sure to catch you but you smack his chest as revenge even though you two are giggling

when you step out of the shower he’ll throw your towel over your head so it covers your face

the man runs out of the bathroom before you can throw the towel back at him

he’s just streaking through the house naked at this point

it takes a while for you two to calm down enough to actually get into bed

but there’s definitely another hour or two of very handsy teasing

mostly from him as you giggle at his antics

and lots of hypothetical discussions about things you guys could try out next time

but also not hypothetically because he would totally be down lol

he’ll be like “okay but what if we restrained your wrists to the shower curtain bar, do you think it’d break?”

and you say you can try next time but if it does break he’s paying not you

you’re just both a laughing mess in each other’s arms as you fall asleep

Yeosang

vanilla guy

he can move his tongue 180 degrees do you all know what use he can make of that?

he’s either super shy super shy~ or he’s gonna be the demon that we all know he is

his kisses range from shy to heated and rushed

like when he’s shy he’s all smiles and cautious touches 

but you can literally taste it when he’s desperate

because his body language changes significantly

suddenly he’s the most confident

kinda feel like lingerie really turns him on

like whenever you wear something lacy or revealing

his length is already hardening before he knows it

sometimes he tries to hide it

other times he comes right up to you and growls into your ear that he needs you right now

his favourite place to do it might be in the bed

he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable first and foremost

and i feel like he’s a switch

he has his dom days he has his sub days too

sometimes he just needs you to lead and he loves watching you when you take the lead

he lets you do whatever you want to him

like he’ll watch as you unbutton your shirt and slip off your bra

and when you lean down to take off his pants

he’ll let you kiss him and touch him however you like

but when you start teasing him?

i feel like he has a switch that goes off and bam he’s now in dom mode

and he’s suddenly flipped positions and he’s like “i’ve had enough sweetheart”

and he’s banging into you with no remorse

and you swear his beautiful deep voice does something to you makes you feral is what it does

tucks your hair out of the way as he pumps his length into you

holds your face :( he’s so precious grrrrr

swipes his thumb across your lower lip

daring you to try something like-

he’s a tease he knows what game you’re playing

and if you try to capture his thumb between your teeth he’s gonna be like ‘nuh-uh not so quick’

like he can be the sub and still be in charge how beautiful is that

bonus points if you make him laugh or make him shy during sex

you love to see it when you praise him and he gets all flustered

but boi does he know how to make you lose your shit too

esp when he’s in control and just running his hands all over your body

tracing all your curves as he drinks in the sight and praises you so. much.

as if he isn’t a walking sculpture himself :’)

loves watching your little reaction and catches on real quick

like if you writhe under him when he kisses your sweet spot? he’s gonna be all smug and you bet the night has gotten longer

because he will spend his sweet time there

and when he’s fingering you or eating you out he will do everything to get the best reactions out of you

aftercare is 90 percent him fussing over you 

even though you reassure him that you’re okay from under the mountain of blankets he’s piled over you

he literally treats you like a queen

also because he wants to give you everything that you might even potentially need

so he like

brings you a whole platter of warm tea, water, energy drinks, salty snacks, packets of lollies, chocolates, you name it

will also ask if you need painkillers or anything

you better give that man his aftercare too he deserves it

you slip him bits of chocolate or snacks 

sometimes after he’s had one of those days where he’s radiated dom energy or he’s teased you a lot

you bring it up with him and wiggle your eyebrows

like “so i’m your good girl, huh”

and he gets so flustered and shy and does his little giggle

but you never tease him too much, because you know that he can start to doubt himself or feel insecure

so you always make sure to tell him how good and perfect he is no matter what he does

he deserves all the love in the world <3

so after you let him fuss over you for a while you sort of just, fling up the side of your blanket and say

“get in here”

and he has such a cute bright smile as he burrows underneath the covers with you

sometimes he spoons you

but more often than not

you spoon him

and he feels so safe and loved whenever you hug him like that :’(

you love to run your fingers through his long locks because his hair feels super soft

but also because you can almost hear the purr that comes out of yeosang when you do it

he’s a precious baby :(

San

a switch nobody can convince us otherwise

he can be a hard dom

manhandles you, like have you seen the way he is with woo??

holds your jaw to make you look at him

or he gets up close and crowds your personal space

passes you the dirtiest looks

will stare at you for the longest time just to see what your reaction will be

loves it when you get flustered and shy 

doesn’t care if you’re in public his touches will look casual to others

but you’ve memorised what his hand placement means

like when his hand on your waist slowly lowers to your hip, you know it’s gonna be a long night

teases you during sex, like he’ll lightly drag his fingers around your upper thighs and on your lower stomach but never touching your core

and he’ll ask you what do you want

he wants you to be vocal and beg for him to touch you

and when you do he’ll rip away your clothes and go down on you like he’s starved

he unbuttons your clothes and unclasps your bra with one hand and that alone makes you so wet

fondles your breasts with one hand while he circles your clit with the other

he latches his mouth onto your neck and collarbones and sucks on your nipples

has your back arching from all the different sensations all at once

but he’s also the subbiest sub to exist

like can you imagine him whimpering underneath you

this time he’s the one begging

he begs to touch you

and he begs for you to touch him, kiss him, anything

he doesn’t care if there are people in the next room or if they can hear him

he just needs to be inside of you

man always does it like it’s his first time taking you 

like you’re blown by how much he can enjoy this every time it just gives you that confidence boost too

and he’s big on praise as well

loves being loud during sex 

makes the unholiest noises-

makes the most intense eye contact and if you dare shy away from him?

“look at me when i’m looking at you”

jksdhgjghjghksgh

^that’s your reaction btw 

his kisses become more messy as things escalate and he just

he wishes he could kiss you everywhere all at once

switches positions so many times but mostly because he needs to feel closer to you in every aspect

might have a thing for putting your legs over his shoulders as he pumps into you

will make you scream without a doubt

like his aim is to make you see stars and boi do you get lost

so you also love to return the favour

and he’s not all that hard to please all you have to do is push the right buttons and say the right things

but you prolong the process on purpose

because you too enjoy seeing him break under you

it’s just that he makes you feel so good about yourself 

he makes you feel like you’re everything he’s ever wanted and then some

will make you come on his fingers

and then lick them clean-

will make you come on his dick next

and break right after he can’t handle you becoming a mess on him

collapses next to you and laughs in disbelief because how good was that?

takes a few moments to gather himself, all the while caressing your skin 

and kissing you- the softest kisses

before he gets up and takes care of you

and he’s so so good at that

he’s cleaning you up, making sure you’re hydrated, helping you into bed and then the cuddlefest starts

lies against the pillows and then shifts you so that you’re basically half-lying on top of him

he loves when you rest your head on his chest, an arm and a leg slung over the top of him too

(half the reason he works out his shoulders and chest is so that you have more pillow surface area hehe)

in these moments he wishes he has three hands

one to hold you against him

one to caress and run through your hair

and one more to hold your hand with :(

he just has to settle for alternating between the three

and all the while he is just constantly. pressing. kisses. against the crown of your head

“i love you”

“i love you too, san”

and not even twenty seconds later

“i love you so much”

“i love you so much too, san”

repeatedly confesses his love to you because it’s true he loves you so much it’s crazy

and when he can hear the sleep starting to cling to your voice, he’ll wish you goodnight

with many more kisses to go along with it <33

he doesn’t let go of you once during the night

Mingi

have you seen his hip rolls-

okay from the start

9/10 times it starts with you cuddling

it’s all good and nice and fluffy and you’re watching something or just scrolling 

he just likes to be in physical contact with you in any way

one of you is mindlessly touching the other- very casual at first

casual kiss on your bare shoulder or you kissing his jaw or knuckles

until one of you is in the mood and starts touching the other with purpose

and wait until the other starts squirming visibly

if you’re in his lap? you’re gonna feel it before he can even tell you

and you turn around all smug

but he doesn’t give you time to react because he will kiss you

he’s also prob really big on makeouts

he just loves the feel of his lips on yours as if they’re made for each other

or his tongue inside your mouth and the way you move under him while he kisses you

will have a good proper makeout session before you proceed

his hands will literally travel everywhere

plays with your breasts as he kisses you

also he will kiss every inch of you

and when he goes down on you?

he knows his nose brushing against your clit is your undoing

and he takes advantage of it

the tip of his nose glistening undoes something in you-

will basically make out with your clit

and make you come multiple times on his fingers and tongue before he gives you what you want

those hands squeezing your hips along with that really don’t help-

eats you out like a man starved

but before that

he’s also the type to get his own fair share of oral

and you would love to please him as well

you want that

you love it when he rolls his hips, clutching your hair, whether his cock is in your mouth or inside you

and when you’re having sex even tho he gives dom energy, he likes you on top

he’s just gonna be holding your hips and making you bounce on him

he’s gonna slow it down, make it bouncy ;) 

your hands on his chest

he’s gonna watch you with those eyes

and groan a lot it fuels you

it drives him crazy when you snake a hand down to your front to circle your own clit

and when you climax and collapse against his chest, he’ll hold you steady against his chest and grip your ass

will plant his feet against the bed so that he can pump up into you

i feel like he can be pretty filthy in the best way

like he likes it messy

he wants to make you a mess in every sense

he will spill inside you all over you and be proud of it and look at the mess like it’s a work of art

and the air smells of sweat, sex and love <3

will probably prompt another round-

if he lets you have your way first, he’s def going to have his way in the second round

and that could entail a lot of things

but at some point, it’s definitely gonna be him pinning your wrists down on the bed with one hand

while his own thighs holds your open

and he makes you see stars with his fingers alone

and at some point

it’s going to be him pounding relentlessly into you, a hand on your back pinning you down to the bed

and the second round is always so much more intense

you think you’re spent? he knows exactly how to get you riled up again

but he knows when you’re tired and done even when you say you want more

so he just turns very soft all of a sudden and kisses you like a boy having his first kiss

because he’s so in love with you :(( 

and then he’s gonna tell you what you mean to him

he’s gonna make you look at him as he tells you how beautiful you are and how you mean the whole world to him

sometimes he sees doubt in your eyes but he won’t go away until he clears it

and then you’re both giggling and he’s looking around wondering what to do

“the towels first, please,” you giggle again and he hops off the bed, laughing to himself

probably drags you in the shower with him too and teases you a lot there

so much that sometimes you have another round there-

always so fun with him innit

but he makes sure you’re fed, hydrated, clean and content before he joins you in bed and the cuddlefest starts

human pillow i said what i said

and he’ll caress your hair or skin as he tells you about something that happened at work or you rant about something that annoyed you today

and he jokes and teases you and you slap his chest and he’s suddenly a laughing mess and you’re joining 

and then at some point, you both fall asleep in each other’s arms <3

Wooyoung

omega vibes.

a bratty sub

and wooyoung literally ousts himself as having a degrading kink

not his heart fluttering when hongjoong bossed him around

he likes to tease you and frustrate you all day

a quick smirk here

a sneaky touch there 

feel like wooyoung would also make you wear vibrating panties or put a remote-controlled vibrator in you

will turn the vibration up at the worst times

like when you’re talking to someone or when it’s super quiet

he’ll give you the cheekiest grin from across the room

especially when a noise accidentally slips out of you

he loves watching you awkwardly fumble and pretend you didn’t just moan

sometimes in the bedroom when he’s pressing the vibrator against your clit, he’ll pull away at the last second just before you reach your orgasm

and he’ll be like oops sorry :))

until the sexual tension makes you snap

he lets you flip him over or pin him against the wall as you kiss his lips swollen and mark his neck until it’s bruised

and you can feel how smug he is

he loves when you show him his place

and when you mark him with hickeys

you’ll push him onto the bed

and sometimes you tie his wrists together

he’s such a brat you can’t help but try and tame him even when you know it’s hopeless

so you just give up midway and he’s all smug and laughing and you’re like okay have your way then

it’s just very fun with him never a boring moment

and feels like a game of who has more control (you’ve got equal points)(you’re both in negative)

you bet he keeps a record of that

also he gets turned on at the strangest of times

you’re cleaning and he saw you bend down to get that dust? he’s turned on

you almost tripped and made the cutest face afterwards and he teases you but you glare at him? he’s turned on

but the same goes for you

all he has to do is roll his sleeves and display his delicious veiny arms while he cooks

and you’re a whining mess

he knows it

we all love wooyoung in the kitchen

speaking of the kitchen-

no one would eat the food he makes if they knew how many times he’s fucked you on the countertop lol

but he fucks you on every surface he can so-

he loves going down on you mostly because of the noises you make when he’s eating you out

and he knows exactly what move of his tongue or lips against your core earns what noise

he knows you have a thing for his nose digging into your clit too 

so he’s gonna make the most of it ;) 

will let your thighs squeeze him as he makes out with your clit

but when he pushes them apart? the veins on his arms pop and you can’t help but run your fingers all over them 

his arms are just such a work of art

and then he’s trailing kisses up your body and kissing you as if he’s short on breath

also has a thing for fisting your hair when you go down on him 

and oh goodness does he make the most pretty sounds you’ve ever heard

basically the two of you live to rile the other up no matter what way it is <3

when he’s finally inside you, he’s either taking full control or just letting you do whatever you want there’s no in-between

mostly it’s the latter because he loves to see you ride him

but just because you’re on top of him doesn’t mean you’ve got full control. he makes sure you know that

because he is going to pound into you from under you and make you see stars <3

aftercare is something ingrained in him

it’s like he gets all his energy back just to take care of you :(( 

he’s fussing over you, not letting you move before he cleans you up and makes you drink or eat something

he has to give the green light for you and at this point, you let him

because who wouldn’t enjoy a fussy woo??

and then he’s like “let’s shower together ;) “ and you’re like

“ah. is that what all of this was for?”

not complaining though

but the best part about showering together isn’t another round- that’s rare

you simply love it when you’re washing each other up

he loves when you shampoo his hair and massage his scalp

and he rubs the knots out of your neck or arms or thighs

wherever you might be feeling sore from your escapades lol

there’s still a couple of teasing remarks and wandering hands here and there

but he makes sure you’re all warm and dry before he tucks you into bed or wraps you in a huge fluffy blanket on the couch

he’ll insist that you do nothing while he cooks up a small meal for you two because if you two hadn’t become distracted during the process of making dinner, then you two are hungry from the energy you’ve expended LOL

and when he’s made sure you’re absolutely full he’ll cuddle you until you both succumb to food coma

Jongho

we all know he’s not physically affectionate

but boi does it look like he’s been doing this all his life

big on foreplay

gets you all hot and bothered first with the way his fingers run over your arms or your thighs

gentle squeezes in between or like something muttered in your ear

until you can’t take it anymore and you make the first move

slow kisses are his things like he loves the intimacy when you’re just making out like you have all the time in the world

and he’s shy at first def, will laugh and joke between kisses just so he can get super comfortable

before he turns into a monster

peppers kisses all over your face :( 

has a knack for making you feel like you’re the most precious thing in this world

to him you are <3

has a thing for necks

will kiss your neck and your sweet spot until it turns red

probably nibble on it too he’d love to see you marked by him

will trail kisses all the way down

will play with your breasts for the longest time as well

just teasing you and making a mess out of you

before he lets his fingers touch you down there and find you already soaked

and god does it give him an ego boost

anddd that’s where things get interesting

watches your every move when he touches you down there 

and has a shit-eating grin on his face throughout 

(which you love you’re not even gonna complain)

he’s gonna make you come multiple times on his fingers that’s a given

he loves to watch you move under him and will probably have a hand on your stomach to brace you and refrain your movements

which drives you so fucking crazy

you’re going to beg for him before he ever lets his cock near you

and when he’s ready for that, he’ll make it so agonisingly slow

will 100 percent grip your thighs as he spreads them apart and just let you feel him against you

before he enters you

he takes a moment to relish in the feeling of your tight walls against him- he can never get enough of that

will pump slowly into you first before it becomes rushed and then-

uses his strength to manhandle you into the position that he wants

he’ll hook his arms under your knees and pound you against the wall pls i need holy water stat

in your bedroom, in your living room, in the shower

omg when he gets all sweaty

and his muscles are glistening as they ripple with his movements lol

dom.

growls in your ears

smacks your ass 100 percent. 

it drives him crazy to feel you trembling against him

or the way your nails dig into his shoulders and drag down his back as he fucks you

he thrives on the sounds you make to the point you’d almost think he’s getting off on that alone

if you come before him, he won’t stop pounding into you until he does

and boi does he still have some stamina left

but you have all the time in the world so he’ll take it slow again

build it up

make you want him again before he touches you

and it just keeps getting more heated, more interesting as the night gets darker

will make sure you’re not overwhelmed though, he really doesn’t want you to feel weird at any point of it all

he wants what you want, to the point you sometimes have to beg him to tell him what he wants

because he’s always focused on pleasuring you and you want to return the favour too

so on the rare occasions that he does let you take the reins, you make it a night he won’t forget ;)

by the time you’re done you’re so tired but this man still has some stamina

so he takes you to the shower with him and washes you up :( <3

dries your hair for you too :( 

you’re so sleepy by now but he’ll carry you to bed :(

and then you cuddle and make jokes until you fall asleep feeling the most content ever

and even though jongho is starting to feel tired too, he fights to stay awake just so that he can cherish the feeling of you in his arms for just a little longer

presses soft little kisses on your forehead and down the tip of your nose and over your cheeks and along your jaw

he’s so soft please

when he really can’t hold off sleep any longer he’ll tuck you closer under his chin before he drifts off too with a smile on his face

has the audacity to giggle at you with his gummy smile when he sees you hobbling the next day because you’re kinda sore

but he’ll be at your beck and call for anything you need the rest of the day <3

[allilcat]

Ive been noticing an increase amount of Dreamtwt refugees, and let me preface with saying: Welcome!!! Genuinely, we lovingly welcome you to this happy lil community.

That being said, Tumblr is confusing, between the big etiquette book and the interface that hasn’t changed since 2008 there is a lot to learn. So this is my little attempt to a welcome guide tailored to our lil dream community! Feel free to add your own recommendations and stuff.

Tumblr is a Blogging site, a goog ol relic from ye olden days, your ‘profile’ is your blog, and you can put anything you like on there! However, please do change your avatar and background, we have a massive bot issue here and we tend to auto block someone with a standard avatar.

The main tags for the dream team are as follows: - just their entire usernames, but, those do get hooped up in controversy from time to time. -Dreamblr for the content creator dream

-Dreblr, for C!Dream

-404blr for CC George

-pandasblr for CC Sapnap

-Dtblr for the Dream team

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING: #Dream, that’s for people actually posting about their dreams, and #myct as it is mostly used for general MYCT stuff, we prefer to stick to our own spaces.

‘how do I find people?’ you go to any of these tags, find someone you vibe with and click ‘follow’. The algorithm here sucks, and we don’t advice the ‘for you’ page.

On that note, the ‘like’ button is useless, use reblog instead! If you like someone’s hot take, art or stupid shit post, REBLOG. Its how we keep our fandom alive and active here :D

When you reblog you usually keep your comments in the tags, one only really uses the comment section when they DON’T want to reblog. (usually because of le discourse).

Send people asks! People love to chit chat, you can do it anonymously! Tell that one artist youd love to have their brain for lunch! Engage with everyone! We love discussion and open communication here. (prob since there is no real word limit to posts)

Tumblr has developed a nice ‘block liberally, no need to make a fus’ culture. You can block someone for any reason, and it really isn’t a big deal.

On the Tumblr is more relaxed note, we tend to be more relaxed on CC boundaries, since most CC’s do not use twitter. If you don’t like people breaking CC boundaries, even in places where they cant see it, follow the advice above and blockkkkk!!!

Please spell out words! Don’t censor triggering words at it can fuck with people’s filter settings, by censoring these words you put people in more risk.  

Now for some technical advice: Most tumblrina’s turn on ‘hide likes and follower count’ . Any blog can have 4 people following it or 4000, we like to keep it mysterious.

Also turn of ‘best content first’- once again, the algorithm is not to be trusted.

Furthermore, you can really personalize your Tumblr experience and please do! Under ‘account’ you can find many options to filter the content you see, make use of it, for your mental health sake.

[creekwritersblood]

The Fear of being Censored Or Unaccepted

Today's post is something I'm so touched about. This topic is something so close to me as a writer, as a reader, and a Queer myself, I am a proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community and I am standing tall in front of everyone. I spent so many years fearing this part of myself because of the judgment of people, I lost my last job for it, but I do not care, because I think if someone judges a human being only based on who they are sleeping with, then I prefer to be a home mom, than break my back for someone who doesn't value my capabilities as an accountant, a proofreader, Translator or the Graphic Designer I sweat seven shirts to be. I know my value and I won't bow again in front of someone else lying to myself just because some people do not like it, family, bosses, or anything else.

Said that I am working with other marvelous people on a writing project as you saw in my other profile @reginakoilos, and some days ago we had a conversation about censorship. It scares the hell off many people, and it worries a lot of people, but I think that this is still a free World, we have rights, we have creativity and NOBODY can tell us what to write about.

Sadly I've passed this before and I've learned that the only way to avoid it and fight it is to stand tall and not bow.

If I can I will give you some pieces of advice right here:

Don't lose yourself: The first rule is to be loyal to yourselves, if you want to write about LGBTQIA+, Hetero, or Whatever you want to write about Just Do It! Nobody can say to you what to or what not to write. But always remember To Be Respectful.

Auto-Publish: This method of publishing will be your best friend, at least at the start. You will be able to gain money writing what you love, as you love, and Because you love. You won't need a Publisher at the beginning. Besides Internet is way too Vast to censor each and every "uncommon" content!

Marketing: This is the rule of the rules, advertising your product will help you gain public and start your little niche of readers.

Stay away from people who ask you to write only about "common" couples: Nobody has to ask you that, NEVER, because creativity is something subjective and doesn't need to be stopped by those requests. Most of all because with that people can start to feel a bit uneasy and unaccepted.

Never accept compromises regarding the sexuality of your characters: I don't know how you see that, but I honestly consider my characters as a little piece of my mind and they are fruits of hard work and deep thoughts and you must be strong enough to fight for what YOU created with a lot of effort and patience.

Whatever comment will come your way, remember: Only constructive Criticism must be taken into consideration, all the rest is trash and must be something not to consider.

Another topic I came across during this past week, is the horrendous practice of Shaming others, for their diversity, and their way of choosing Characters and making them appear in some way instead of another. I mean, we are in 2025, how can it be possible to read comments of hate like that? 1. Every character is a creation of the writer and the latter has ALL and EVERY right to make the OC however they decide.

2. Why get so mad if someone writes about a chubby character instead of a skinny one? Cannot it have the same appreciation? Every character has its own sexuality, physique, strength, and flaws, they are all different!

3. Every person around here has the right to speak their own mind, of course, but the rule must be always the same RESPECT, something that is missing apparently during this last period.

I really hope next time or if it happens for the first time, you will be strong enough to send back those comments to the sender, because NOBODY has the right to tell you how to write or what.

I speak for myself, I can give advice, but all is up to you.

[findroleplay]

Rules: do’s & don’ts

There is almost no rule for what is or isn't allowed on this blog, we are accepting of basically all and any content. When something is not allowed there is a good reason for it, so please try not to break the rules.

What you can not post

Anything too explicit. Detailed NSFW starters, graphic GIFs or pictures used as decoration and the like. If you really want to share a detailed vision of the scene that will be acted out in the roleplay, send a link to google docs, carrd, another post, etc that people can check out. This is primarily about smut but it applies to gore as well. To be super clear, smut and gore are not banned from the blog, you can request any kink/situation you like, but you will need to discuss the details with your partners. For example, asking for a BDSM roleplay is fine, writing out details of the smut scene in your request is not. This is to avoid possible reports based on the NSFW ban.

Wait 24 hours before submitting again from the moment the ask is posted. You can post ads requesting different RPs, just not the same ask. This is to avoid cluttering.

It goes without saying, this is RP only. You can't send requests for dating or similar.

You can only send ads through asks or submissions. If you need help with those I'll be happy to lend a hand, but don't send your requests via DMs. If the inbox is closed it means it's full/I'm not active, please be patient and, again, don't try to get your ad in through DMs. I won't be able to post your ad from DMs.

That's it, pretty easy, right?

What you can post

Generally, anything not mentioned above is allowed. However, since some things get asked often, I will make a general list of things that are allowed for your convenience.

RPF is allowed. 

Discord servers and other groups are allowed. 

Things related to RPing, even if not strictly roleplay-seeking, are allowed. Other roleplay finders, RP resources, and even questions about roleplaying are all allowed. 

Minors are allowed. 

Dead dove content is allowed.

What you should/shouldn't do

Your ask will be published even if you don't abide by these rules. However, keeping this in mind will make for a better experience for everyone involved.

Be as clear as possible about the fandom and other relevant information. I can't tag it if you don't tell me where these blorbos come from. If the fandom has alternate names/acronyms include everything!

If you're going to include more than 20 fandoms in your search, split the post into two separate requests. There's a maximum of 30 tags allowed on a post, out of which only the first 20 will show up in searches. If you include more, the rest will go untagged/will not show up in searches.

Don't censor triggers. It just interferes with people that have these words blocked. Don't write inc*st, write incest.

Miscellaneous other stuff

I am not the police, your parents, or HR. If you have a disagreement with your RP buddy I can't intervene to solve it for you, nor can I put them in time out. Unpleasant things happen online, learn to block and move on. Please don't message me - or worse, send anon asks - with callouts for certain users and ask them to block/warn others.

If you feel stuck and the blank page is daunting, you can use this form as a base. Feel free to fill out everything, just some of it, add items I didn't include, or just send your own personal ad.

Literacy:

Fandom:

Pair: (fxf, mxf, mxm, ccxcc, ocxoc)

Character(s):

Ship(s):

Triggers:

Genres:

Plot ideas:

Where: (discord, Tumblr, reblogs..)

Other:

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

The problem with Disney right now...

I know I usually state my opinion on movies I see recently and give reviews but sometimes I give my opinion on movies that are going to come out soon. So, I heard about the unnecessary sequels for Moana and Inside Out, which are great movies but they don't need sequels. In all honesty, after seeing what they did with Wish, I think Disney should take a break on making animated movies for a while! Not forever, just for a short time.

Okay, so I think we all can tell that they used A.I on Wish. It's not the animation and stuff, it's just the story! I even think the songs were written by real people, it's purely the story that feels A.I generated. Watch them use A.I on Moana 2, Inside Out 2, and Frozen 3... oh gosh that would break my heart to se them ruin the sequels with A.I. I don't consider myself a Disney fan, in fact, even as a kid I wasn't a Disney-movie kid, but I did have a Frozen phase back in the day. Every kid had a Frozen phase. Inside Out is okay but it was kind of emotional, but the first Moana was really good. The thing is, Frozen is based off the Snow Queen while Moana and Inside Out aren't based off any fairytales and are Disney's own original ideas for once. Plus, I think they're only making these sequels because their original ideas like StrangeWorld and Wish are failing so they're proffiting off live action remakes and making sequels of already existing characters because they're desperate. They're just so greedy and can't stand to see the competitors, who are smaller animation companies, beat them!

I'm mostly boycotting Disney (and have been ever since I saw Zootopia) but I'll watch Disney movies pirated on free websites like Actvid and Moviesjoy. The only thing I like from 2024 Disney is Kiff! LITERALLY KIFF! KIFF! Of all things, I never thought KIFF would be the only thing that's stopping me from abandoning Disney all together. I don't use Disney plus but the website I watch Kiff on doesn't have the recent episodes and I refuse to get Disney plus. Disney should focus on stuff like Kiff and Phineas & Ferb anyway. The only good show they got on Disney channel now is Bluey and Bluey is NOT EVEN DISNEY! Bluey is an Australian show and should be seen as that, instead of having the greediest corporation in the world act like they own an Aussie show that they didn't have anything to do with. Bluey should be on PBS kids or something, not greedy Disney! Who agrees? I'm American, but If I was in Australia I'd be so mad at Disney. Disney literally censored episodes, removed episodes, and stopped the writers from throwing in a Bible reference... when they weren't even making the show! If I was in charge, Disney Channel/Disney Junior would have shows like Jungle Junction, Phineas & Ferb, Bear in the Big Blue House, Good Luck Charlie, Suite life of Zack & Cody on Deck,... ect. Basically I'd bring back everything except JESSIE because it was racist (R.I.P to Cameron Boyce tho, he wasn't a bad guy he was just on a bad show).

Anyway, Disney is on my last nerve rn, and if it wasn't for Kiff I'd hate it all together. I still do hate Disney but the only thing that keeps me from wanting it to go away is Kiff. If you haven't heard of Kiff, it's a recent show by Disney, about an orange squirrel who's really energetic (and no, she's NOTHING like Scaredy Squirrel). As far as movies go, I know for sure that I will never see another Disney movie in theaters and I encourage you too, as well. They'll end up on Actvid or Moviesjoy before they even end up on Disney plus anyway, because Disey is popular and people care enough to record it off some hidden camera in theaters. I'm not saying you have to follow in my footsteps and boycott Disney, I'm just telling you on how I do it. Like, the day they come out in theaters is the same day they end up on free websites. Plus, you don't have to waste your money if the movie is going to be bad, like how Wish ended up being bad.

So yeah, please share your thoughts! If you're a Disney fan, I'm sorry. You have to know that they've been really shady recently (they always have been shady but particularly now).

[lestappenforever]

I’m gonna have your back here. I love seeing how Max is so sweet around children and it’s beautiful that he has such a good relationship with P. /without/ trying to take the place of her father. He’s been as respectful as he could be regarding the father/daughter relationship she still rightfully have with her dad and I’ll forever cherish the fact that he has been so careful about it.

BUT. As much as I do find cute seeing P. hugging and kissing him as he is streaming, I still find very problematic to see kids constantly putted on social media. I censored a family friend’s kid that I was holding in a pic I sent /privately/ to a friend because I didn’t feel comfortable sharing their face without consent from the mother.

I get that most of the time the pic/video we get are from family gatherings/because P. suddenly get in frame as Max is streaming, and the goal is /not/ to show and parade her around as family vlogs do (it’s disgusting really how some people openly exploit their children like that) BUT still she cannot consent to have her face all over the internet.

Even if in the F1 fandom most of the comments are harmless (all kinda being about max being a positive figure for her or being such a girl “dad” and breaking the circle of violence is father started) there are still a lot of people online who WILL have inappropriate thoughts and reactions toward a /kid/.

I get that this sport has basically become a big media circus thanks (ironically) to DtS, but people still need to remember that drivers are athletes and they are allowed to have a private life, especially concerning their families and KIDS.

I myself am guilty to enjoy watching Charles holding a baby ever so kindly, cuz it makes my heart melt, but as much as I appreciate it in a pure way I DO KNOW that people are not all good hearted and without malice and I’d prefer to not see this things at all then bearing the guilt of giving pedo****s free content.

I am an adult and although I do understand the consequences of posting my face online I still sometimes feel disgusted if my mind lingers too long on what people might do with my pics.

Now imagine growing up and finding out your parents have posted your face everywhere without thinking about consequences and without your consent and you’ll never be able to delete those contents because what internet takes internet will never give back.

So yeah, ok, at least he didn’t show her face but should we really praise him for doing the f bare minimum to protect a child’s privacy? Maybe not.

Anon, this is so well put and I don't really have anything to add to this because you've hit the nail on the head here. And thank you so much for your support!

The only thing I will add is an example that has haunted me since it happened and will continue to haunt me forever: Not too long ago, David Beckham posted a picture on Instagram where his daughter is kissing him on the mouth. An innocent display of affection many children share with their parents. And the comments were flooded with people sexualizing it. I will never be able to unsee some of the comments I saw on that post. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about the fucked up people that lurk on social media and the absolute horror you can potentially subject your child to, then I don't know what does.

It really is true what you said, anon: What internet takes, internet will never give back. This is important for each and every person out there to remember and be mindful of, regardless of age. But it's especially important to remember that when content of children is being posted.

[lutawolf]

TharnType Episode 4

My other reviews can be found here. In each of my posts, I find myself having to constantly explain why problematic art is necessary, but it's also about rights. If someone is allowed to tell you what is appropriate art, they are essentially telling you how to think and feel. It negates the ability to think for yourself, and I will fight tooth and nail for that.

As many of you have seen from my reviews, there are toxic things in what MAME writes, but there are good things too. A lot of important things that can be learned from even problematic art. History is filled with people who've grabbed artworks, from paintings to books and put them away, saying they were not appropriate or okay. Dictatorships that states that as a society we are incapable of censoring itself. It was someone else saying that they knew what was best for us, even though there was no harm.

That's the reason I don't have ownership and rights over my own body. Because someone else said they have the right to decide for me. That they would tell me what to do with my body because, I might not make the decision they deem correct. And before I hear comments of, body rights aren't the same as what these bls are doing. It's all about taking away a person's right to choose and think for themselves.

I'll get off my soap box and start this episode. Sorry! 😘 We start off the series with Type being shredded online by people who assume they have a right to. Never mind that they violated his space and his rights. And people are ganging up on Type despite only hearing one part of the narrative. There is a lot to take in and digest in this work, it's not one dimensional at all.

Tharn comes in looking at Type with pity, which is going to grind a victim/survivor's gears. We want your understanding, not your pity. I'm not going to tell you my story for sympathy, I don't fucking want it, I had enough of that to make me sick. Nothing will cause hackles to go up faster on a survivor than that look he is giving right there.

Why Type says is very valuable here. He says, do you hate me for what I said or are you using me as an excuse to diss homosexuals. Now think about it, Type didn't want to live with Tharn, but other than that we don't see talking shit about homosexuals. He doesn't want to associate, and he doesn't want them to touch him, but he doesn't say anything until Tharn because Tharn is in his space. He needs him out of his space because he's scare. Furthermore, he is fully aware that his hate is irrational, but he is unable to change it. Not necessarily because he doesn't want to, but because the block is so high and heavy. He sees this as his karma. Another indication that he is well aware that his hatred isn't right. MAME is trying to show that sometimes hatred has a deep seeded reason. Doesn't make that hatred right, but shouldn't we have compassion? Are all of us so guilt free and bias free that we have the right to not show compassion?

"Nosy and worry have two different meanings." Tharn is reacting to Type with kindness and it's making ripple effects. You can see it. Type recognizes it and puts up his angry wall to cover his weakness. Tharn sees through it though and grabs onto him. Type has been in days of regression and stress, so he immediately freaks. But Tharn only wants to be him to eat. Then they begin to talk and Tharn tells Type that he doesn't care what others think, he knows he is innocent. This is what breaks Type. Being seen. Tharn begs him to talk to him, but he wasn't expecting the reality of it. The way Type tells the story of his SA is very accurate. I don't know of another way of describing it. It's stark and direct while still carrying emotion. The book is actually much more descriptive, but accurately descriptive. In the book, it talks about sensory memory, which is not something that a nonvictim-survivor is going to think to describe. This is someone who knows exactly what they are talking about and, in my opinion, as someone very familiar with therapeutic writing. Is therapeutic writing. People don't want to hear your story, it hurts them, but it hurts us to keep it in.

Tharn stops him from telling anymore, and that's pretty normal too. When you care about someone, it is very difficult to listen to. When Type tells Tharn he hates him. He returns the comment with compassion. Not hate. Not how he shouldn't lump them all together. But with compassion. Why? Because Type is still hugging him as he says it. There are clear indicators that Type does not hate him or really gays, but he has hard limits that he can't handle.

Everything Type says is valid. Type is very uncomfortable with Tharn there. He just told him something personal and private, and he fears it getting out. Victims and Survivors rarely want their story out. I do it because you guys don't know who I am. I'm anon behind this computer, but in real life. Well, some do because I went to court, but I'm sure as shit not sharing my story. I don't want that pity. That's exactly what Type is worried about, but instead Tharn steps up. He didn't have to, this was an act of love.

Tharn tells Type that he tells them that he likes him. Tharn bites his lip and let's go of his angry death grip. He doesn't hit or yell at him. There is no act of aggression like before. What does this say. It says before we saw acts of homophobia from Type because he was scared. Not, there is a comfort level with Tharn to where he doesn't feel that fear anymore. "We almost tore each other heads off, but if you try to understand him. You know he is a good guy."

Tharn admits that he over pushed his boundaries with Type. Which is what exacerbated the situation with them. He forces them to admit that they touched him. The thing to take from this is Tharn does realize that he is some of the trigger here, and that Type wouldn't typically react like this. He knew they had touched him without having to ask Type. "When people hate someone or something, they don't want to be near them. But you touched him and forced him for photos. How is he wrong if he got mad? And you never asked him why he hates or fears gays." Exactly Tharn, exactly. I mean, the same could be said for Tharn, but he's learning. Sometimes, you learn the hard way.

Type explaining about the media. See, victims and survivors don't like pity for a reason. Honesty leads to honesty. Tharn is honest about liking Type. Then he backs off. Before he would have kept pushing, but now he is backing it off and just letting Type think. See the smile that Tharn gives when Type just lays down. It's a win. There is no anger or raging. He just lays down. No comfort blanket.

Type comes back to the dorm and is his normal aggressive self. Remember, though, that this is used to cover his emotions. Tharn has started to figure this out, hence the smile when Type asked why he came back early. There is now an open, honest communication there, while Type is still using a macho man attitude to hide his insecurities. He isn't lashing out and attacking. There is a release to talking about your trauma, and Tharn gave him that, then he protected him. There was already attraction, but now there are feelings. Type is naturally going to fight this, but Tharn, he understands Type now. Which makes him harder to fight. There is no anger, just compassion, caring, and love. Which is what a victim/survivor longs for.

In the book when Type asks Tharn to sleep with him and Tharn asks who will top. It's pretty accurate, too, and many of you who have read enough of my blog would recognize some things. Such as Type talking about vomiting at the idea. How many of you were even aware that was something at a lot of survivors still do, even years later? The reason why I bring this up, is because I have had so many people be like, "I never heard that MAME was a survivor." Well, it's all right there to see. She doesn't need to verbally tell you. She is telling you through her art, you just have to look.

Type Now, Tharn is one hundred percent aware that Type is not having sex with him due to owing. He knows the attraction is there. He's very politely not calling Type out on it. For Type's part, he's just lying to himself. Which is very human nature. We can clearly see whose experienced sexually and who isn't. Fyi in the book Tharn started having sex at a very early age and admits to being basically a man whore. While Type has had one high school gf.

Book Excerpt: Tharn took out a hand and stroked my back and my tight back muscles. Caressed me contentedly. I always wanted to get touched like that…

Type tells Tharn, "I'm a man, don't treat me as a woman." It's not meant to be a put down to women. It's mean as that macho cover up of, I am never weak. Don't treat me as weak. Then, them going to the doctors to get test together is one of my favorite parts. It's the way Tharn now talks to Type. It's a charming, begging, and canoodling type of way. And it works like a charm, in the way that anger and commands wouldn't work on Type. And Tharn's face, all huge smile when Type says sex only.

Did anybody pay attention to Tharn's sex story? Notice his face. He might be saying it was consensual, and maybe it doesn't haunt him like Type's does, but he regrets it whole heartily.

Techno inviting Tharn is to eat with them is so Techno. He is so shipping them hard. Tharn being thrilled that Type knows his favorite drink. The back and forth truly shows how they are perfect for each other. And can he preform his duty tonight. 🤣🤣🤣

Well, that it for this episode. Hope you guys found it insightful. 💜💜💜

[windschildfanfictionwriter]

For anyone who needs to hear this: Your feelings are valid.

And if you're anything like me, that sort of just gets you an eye roll, but hear me out. Okay? Hear me out.

I've suffered from the 'it's not that bad' 'suck it up' 'don't be a little bitch. Get up.' mentality for as long as I can remember.

So one day I was telling myself: 'Look, you're just being dramatic. it's not a big deal. You're not being neglected. People would notice if you disappeared.'

But look, man, I was determined to prove myself wrong. I was determined to measure precisely how dramatic I was being. We had a three-day weekend in my freshman year of high school. And I was like, okay, I'll just test it out. I'll see how long it takes my mom to come looking for me. For anyone to come looking for me.

So I turned off the lights in my room, left the door a crack. All signs I wasn't there. I even gave my mother hints that something was wrong, okay? We weren't allowed to leave the house for any reason. We never got to go anywhere but school. I didn't have friends. We didn't have family close by. There was LITERALLY nowhere but that house in the middle of nowhere I could have been at.

I was never anywhere else. Trying to go anywhere meant having to break my mom. Having to get her angry. To get out, you needed to annoy her into compliance, until she was screaming at you to get out. Until she was snarling at you to leave. There was no other way to get permission. She both didn't want anything to do with you and despised the very idea of you being away. I wasn't capable of it. Not then, at least.

I grabbed a cup of water in case I got thirsty. I set up a tiny nook that was hidden inside of a closet. And then I waited. Three fucking days I waited- not making a sound, before giving up. I stayed there with only a cup of water I refilled at one in the morning. Used the restroom twice when everyone else was asleep. And not one fucking person came looking for me. Not for dinner (the only meal we got in that house during that time). Not to make sure I was asleep. Not so much as a peak in the door.

I gave up out of sheer boredom and hunger.

Wasted an entire three-day weekend on this. Three whole days I could have been reading or writing or fucking around doing kid stuff or whatever. But like a fucking idiot I had sat there. Waiting for anyone to realize I wasn't there. That something was wrong. The worst part was when I finally gave up, I found my mom smoking on the porch, and she just blinked at me as I stared at her and she said: Hey, haven't seen you in a minute.

As if she was just realizing that she had indeed NOT seen me in a while.

So listen to me when I say: Your feelings are valid.

Listen to your own emotions and trust them. Don't let the world convince you that your feelings are not legitimate. Not even yourself. Whatever you're feeling, there's a reason those feelings exist.

And maybe you're like me and you desperately wanted to meet the people in books because THEY would care. And maybe reading these stories helps you in the way they helped me growing up. And these stories… they're free.

They were written with the despair and happiness of other people's souls.

And yeah, that might be fucking corny, but just because it's corny doesn't mean it's not true.

We've come together as a community to write not just stories, but expressions of emotions that have bled onto the pages. In the desperate hope that we might connect with others and that someone out there might see it and feel a smidge better.

So don't fucking censor yourself and don't tell yourself that your feelings aren't important. Don't try to invalidate yourself because someone out there might have it worse than you. Your feelings ARE valid even if at the moment, you're the only person who cares about those feelings.

Know that the reason why I keep writing- will always write, is because I'm hoping it reaches all those who have sat in closets for one reason or another realizing with dread that no one is going to come. Because I want to write the characters who will keep you stubbornly trucking on. The stories that will inspire you to get up one more time if only to find out what happens next. That's why even when I get my own pieces out there, I won't ever stop writing fanfiction. Even if the fandoms change or the characters who drag my ass out of bed are new ones. Because in a lot of ways it's more viable for people to click on a link on a site than travel to a library to check out a book or buy one in the store.

I don't know who is reading this.

But know that I'm writing it for you.

[jadedxrealityw]

-Love Is Love- Loki/Lady Loki Laufeyson x female reader

☼-♥-☼

Kody: was going to write some angst, but you guys deserve something sweet. 

Movie/Show: N/A

Summary: ‘normal day’ and ‘god of mischief’ don’t go together, ever. Especially when said god is a clingy, quick to whine baby. 

Possible Triggers/Warnings: domestic Loki, the fluff, Loki being a giant man baby, a sneak peak at his unused powers he he he he, homophobes in the wild

☼-♥-☼

your eyes open slowly as your brain process’s the fact you are now awake and no longer in the fluffy state of mind that is dreamland. A warm and heavy feeling brings you to look down at your chest where the pale arm of your lover laid. 

Loki

a smile graces your lips as memories of the night before gently takes over your thought process. Looking to your right, you see your phone charging on the nightstand. Reaching up you grab it and press your thumb to the fingerprint censor, making the phone unlock instantly. 

no phone calls and a couple messages from Wanda, confirming you and Loki would be at her house warming party with Loki. You type out a quick response saying you would drag Loki there if need be and closed the messages app. Looking up a bit, you spot the time. 9:45 am. 

you should probably make breakfast

placing the phone back down on the nightstand you grab Loki’s arm and attempt to remove it from your waist. You only lift it inches from your bare skin until Loki pulls you into his chest, his arm now around your back. God dammit. Now being face to face you could see his playful grin.

“How long have you been awake?“ you ask, seeing how he didn’t look tired in the slightest “A few hours“ he replies in a low whisper as to not disturb the peaceful silence as much. “So you’ve just been staring at me then?“ you say, a playful grin of your own forming on your face. 

“Why wouldn’t i?“ Loki uses his free arm to run his hand along the side of your face, admiring your tired form. You place your hand on top of his and bring it to your mouth, giving his palm a light kiss before going to sit up. Loki forces you back down causing you to sigh.

“Loki, i have plans today” You remind him, just like you did the night before when he tried to keep you up all night. “and so do i“ he replied confidently. Your face turns into a deadpan expression as you stare blankly at him “Really? and that is?“

“To keep you here, in bed with me of course” Loki smiles like he is a child who had just won a prize. That prize being well..you. You shake your head, forcing down laughter as to not indulge in his playful behavior at the moment so you could start your day. 

“You know i would love to stay in bed with you, but i have to go shopping. I won’t be long“ You lean forward and press a quick kiss to his forehead, earning a frown in return. Loki lets you get up this time and you step onto the cold wooden floor.

just as you stretch your arms, you hear the sound of rustling sheets, which cause you to turn your head to where Loki was, standing up in only a pair of dark boxers. “What’re you doing?” you ask, going over to the the closet where you kept the clean towels. 

Loki follows slowly behind you “I coming with you” he says, reaching in front of you to grab one of the towels. You roll your eyes, grabbing a towel of your own “I’m taking a shower first” you send him a small grin as you walk past him and towards the bathroom door that was connected to your bedroom. 

“Or” Loki cut in, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind you, pulling you into his chest. His head leans down, his chin hovering just above your shoulder “We can take one together“ he suggests. You had no objection to that idea in the slightest.

☼-♥-☼

after the shower you and Loki got dressed, with a lot of breaks in between from because of the flirty comments he would make. Once you both turn around to look at each other, you both laugh quietly. Loki wore his famous all black suit while you wore a short black turtleneck with matching pants with a grey cardigan.

“A suit? It’s just a walk to the grocery store and the mall?“ you chuckle, smoothing out your cardigan. You just needed your bag and shoes now. Loki rolls his eyes, fixing the collar of his dress shirt “I have to look presentable wherever i go. I have a reputation to uphold“

scoffing, you grab the door handle and turn it, pushing the door open “Right, i hope you attract all that attention you need then” you say teasingly, walking out into the living room. Where did you put your shoes? You could hear Loki’s rapid footsteps behind you. 

“That’s not what i mean, love“ he apologizes, his hand reaching for yours. He was always so quick to think he had done something wrong, then again you were teasing him. “I’m kidding“ you assure him, making him exhale deeply “You’ll be the death of me“ he lets out. 

you laugh to yourself once more before finally spotting your shoes by the sofa “Lets go while they’re still serving breakfast at that one cafe down the street” you say, rushing over to your shoes so you could put them on. “So punctual” Loki mumbles to himself.

☼-♥-☼

you both walked down the street, a cup of coffee in your hand and nothing in Loki’s. “I still don’t understand how you drink that stuff” Loki looks in disgust at your cup. Rolling your eyes, you take another sip of your warm beverage “No one asked you too get a cup of your own”

“I thought it taste somewhat decent“ Loki retorts, making you shake your head “I’m sorry to disappoint you then“ you apologize, nudging his shoulder with yours playfully. Loki lightly shakes his head, nudging you back “It isn’t possible for you to disappoint me“

his words make you smile as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. He leans down to plant a chaste kiss to your temple sweetly. “Were nearing the mall you big softie” you taunt, dropping your paper cup in a recycling bin you pass by.

“Ah yes, a midgardian shopping center. Sounds rather...boring“ Loki sighs deeply. He didn’t find anything about humans not boring, so that wasn’t a big surprise. “I said you didn’t have to come with me. I can shop by myself just fine“

“Oh i know you can, i just don’t trust Midgard. Mostly it’s male species“ Loki shudders as if he had said a terrible word. You stifle laughter as you both walk through the entrance of the mall, the smell from the food court wafting into the open area. 

“Ah the male species. Now i have to find an outfit for Wanda’s party. So women's boutique it is“ You grab Loki’s hand and begin to drag him through the mall. 

☼-♥-☼

once you walk into the boutique you walk into the short dress’s section to find a nice casual dress that wasn’t to flashy, but made you look nice. “Something short i see?” Loki spoke from behind you, causing you to roll your eyes as you move through the rack. 

As you look through the mostly red shades of dress’s you spot Loki go over to the black ones and look through them “Plan on getting one?” you ask, turning your head to face him. You can see Loki’s lips turn upwards into a smile “If they fit my standards”

well, he is a god after all. 

“Alright tell me if you find something nice then“ you say before moving to the more flowy dress section, still short. You just didn’t feel like wearing a tight dress. You stopped on a nice looking dress that looked like exactly what you were looking for and it was the last in your size. 

seemed like fate did it not?

you grab the hanger off the rack and drape it over your arm. Turning around, you begin to talk “I’m going to go try this on- Loki?” he wasn’t where you had left him. Shrugging, you made your way to the changing rooms. It was a big store and he was around somewhere...hopefully.

there were four stalls in the changing room and three were open. The one that was already occupied was filled with the sounds of a woman grumbling about how a zipper wouldn’t go up. She must of had a bad day or something. You take your dress and yourself into an empty stall and shut and lock the door.

you began strip yourself of the clothing you had on and place it neatly on the bench so it wouldn’t get dirty. Once your finished you take the dress and slip it over your head, pulling it down until it sat comfortably on your bust. You unlock the door and step out to look at yourself in the long mirror on the wall. 

looking at your reflection, you smile. You looked perfect in every way. It fit nicely and hugged your torso just right. “You look ravishing, my love” a woman’s voice spoke, causing you to turn around. A tall woman with slightly below shoulder length hair stood wearing a dark green velvet dress. 

looking at her up and down, you smile “I assume you found a dress then, Loki” you say, walking over to her. Loki smiles and flattens out her dress with the back of her hands “It’s simplistic, but yes i have. What do you think?” she asks, reaching forward to move a strand of hair from your face. 

“I think you look beautiful, but we should probably take these off so i can pay for them” you suggest. Loki grins as she gives you a quick kiss “Hm alright. I guess i did find something to wear to Wanda’s little get together“ she gloats, eyeing herself in the mirror up in down. 

you were dating a narcissist. A sexy narcissist

“Alright hot stuff go change“ you tease as you gently push Loki back into the changing room she was in. Shaking your head, you go back into your changing stall as well. 

☼-♥-☼

you step out and see Loki standing in his suit and no longer a woman. You didn’t really question why and smiled, walking up to him “Ready to leave? i’m already tired of walking today” as if on cue, you let out a yawn. Plus you were going out to eat tonight and wanted to rest up before then. 

Loki grabs the the short black dress with sheer sleeves from your hand. “Uh-” you say, but were caught off “I’ll pay, you go take a seat outside the store” Loki says, not really asking more like telling you. Your feet were hurting though, so you wouldn’t complain. 

“Alright“ you exhale, patting hi shoulder before walking towards the exit of the store. When you walk outside there is a bench in the middle next to a couple of those giant screen poster things. Whatever they’re called. You go over and take a seat, feeling instant relief from your feet. 

you only waited there about a minute before Loki came out holding a paper shopping bag in one of his hands. He spots you instantly and walks over “You look dreadful” he comments, jokingly and you narrow your eyes “Your so sweet” you say and push yourself off the bench. 

Loki goes in to kiss your cheek when you use your hand to push his face away. He pulls back with a confused expression “I look dreadful, don’t i?” you say, repeating his words from a few seconds ago. Loki’s expression drops “You know i don’t mean it, darling”

“I know, but no kisses till i feel like it“ you smile a sickeningly sweet smile at him. Loki rolls his eyes, but smiles nonetheless. He couldn’t be made at you even if he tried and he wouldn’t try, ever. 

☼-♥-☼

while walking down the sidewalk you heard a couple shouts and cheers as you turn the corner. There seemed to be some sort of protest going on in front of some rainbow cafe. If you remember correctly, a lesbian couple ran it. You had met them a few times before actually.

“Is a war starting or do Midgardians do this for fun?” Loki questioned, looking at the group of people huddled outside the small cafe. “I uh- i honestly don’t know how to answer that. It’s just a bunch of homophobes who can’t keep there opinions to themselves” you scoff, crossing your arms.

Loki’s face twinged in disgust at your words. You had taught him about the gross people that are homophobes, transphobes, xenophobes, etc. He absolutely despised those kind of people considering he was both genderfluid and bisexual himself and you were (insert sexuality here).

“Should i kill them?“ he asked genuinely, making you snort. It was a nice thought, but not rational. “No, but now i feel like i should take you home because your hand is about to break mine” you reply, holding up your intertwined hands. 

Loki quickly lets go, mumbling an apology. He sighs, nodding begrudgingly. You were slightly taken aback by his willingness and look forward when you hear a familiar swoosh sound. God dammit. You face Loki once more as she flips back her black hair. Twice in one day? alrighty then. 

Loki removes the coat of her suit and places it in the shopping bag before rolling her sleeves up to her elbow “Ready to go home darling?” she asked and you simply nod, wondering what her motives are. She wraps an arm around your shoulder as you begin to walk down the sidewalk. 

getting closer, you could hear slurs being thrown left and right. Jeez these people need a hobby you thought. Loki led you right through the crowd and toward the entrance of the cafe. What the fuck is she doing? Just as Loki grabs the handle of the door, one of the previously mentioned protesters speak up.

“You both are going to hell!“ a rather built man yells. Loki’s brow raises as a grin paints her face perfectly. She opens the cafe door and gently pushes you inside, keeping the door open with her foot. Loki turns around as you watch from the glass windows.

“I’m assuming that’s what you call Niflheim, a place of total damnation or along those lines. Considering my sister is the goddess of death i think i’ll do just fine thank you. Now stay away or i’ll give you a one way trip.” Loki spoke with such elegance you almost couldn’t tell she was threatening the man. 

it soon clicked to the man and other ignorant folk that they just told the goddess of mischief to go to hell. Big yikes. “Your a freak!“ the man spat out in a last attempt to get under Loki’s skin, but she just smiles maniacally “Such naughty words darling. I’m bored now, off you go” 

Loki waves her hand as if she’d dismissing a class of students. While waving, her dagger flicks into her hand, effectively scaring off all little amount of sucky people. She forms a prideful smile before walking into the shop. You look at her and cant help but laugh. 

“What? I didn’t kill them did i?“ Loki smiles, flicking her hand, her dagger disappearing. “Saying you'll send them to your sister is the same thing love“ you point out. Loki shrugs and looks around the shop “They serve more then coffee here right?“

☼-♥-☼

after that you and Loki decided to stay in for the rest of the day and go out tomorrow. For dinner you both ate loads of junk food you got from a convenience store on the way back. You were showing Loki sour patch kids, mostly to watch her face scrunch up. 

“That’s awful“ she comments, chewing slowly on the candy while you laughed your ass off on the bed. Loki narrows her green eyes and nudges your shoulder “Don’t make fun of me. This is all different flavors for me“ she exclaims, only making you laugh harder. 

“I- i’m sorry!“ you say in between laughs, trying not to fall back onto the hard wood floor. Loki shook her head and grabbed your waist. She pulls you close so your sitting on her lap “i actually liked shopping with you today“ she admits, causing you to tilt your head a bit. 

“Really, even with the homophobic stuff?” you questioned. Loki reaches up and moves a piece of your hair with her thumb, smiling sweetly “Just reminded me that you love me in whatever form i take“ she says. A way with words she was. “I do indeed love you“ you reply. 

Loki leans into to plant her lips on yours, the taste of the sweet and sour candy on her lips making the kiss much more interesting. Loki smiles as her hands gently cup your face. After a few seconds she pulls away and gazes into your eyes. “What?” you say, chuckling. 

“I love you too darling. I forgot to say it a earlier“ she admits, wrapping her arms around your waist. She falls back, laying your head on her chest as you both tangle yourselves within the sheets of your bed. With all the walking, yu both fall asleep almost instantly, holding each other close. 

love is love

☼-♥-☼

Kody: I made this fic mostly to bring awareness to the fact that some of the Marvel/MCU don’t acknowledge the fact that Loki id genderfluid and bisexual or just completely ignore it entirely. If you really love Loki as you claim, you’ll except them in any way. Anyways, peace. 

Edit: I know he’s Pansexual in Norse mythology, i’m just going by what’s confirmed in the MCU 

☼-♥-☼

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Taglist: @hel-viti @vmame @loudbluepancake @high-ashell-hargrove @andineverwould 

[qianoir]

IT3D 1 - Hua Mulan

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: college students!WayV x Chinese fem!reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non-idol au, college au

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+ (Do not interact if you are under 18)

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: heavy cursing (censored), mentions of sex, nudity, love octogon, foreign humor, overbearing parents

♡ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.3k

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @eggbutnotyolk @d1nne @fanficbitchwhowriteskpop @staysstrays

Preview < 1 < 2 < 3

"I've only been in New York City for 15 hours, Xuejiao. And it's huge! I don't know these streets you're telling me!" You shout, ignoring the side-eyes from the passerby city slickers that give New York it’s bad stereotype.

"You're going down 96th Street right? I told you to keep going down. It's a long a.ss street. You'll find the campus eventually- look for the dome!"

The connection breaks as Xuejiao finishes the call, "I gotta go now, I’m trying to get in my astrology professor’s pants after class!" The line goes silent and you huff, opening up GPS to lead you down the forsaken 96th Street. Distracted with directions, some guy crashes into you with his bike.

"What the hell!? Watch where you're going!" You yell picking up your fallen bag- which scattered all of my weeaboo s.hit.

"Maybe if you didn't stand in the middle of the street, you wouldn't have wrecked my bike! You're lucky you didn't get killed by a real car!" You looked up at the ignorant voice and found a young, orange-haired Asian boy. Maybe Chinese, like me?

"I wrecked your bike!? You're really unbelievable.." You placed everything back into the bag and took out your wallet. "Look, I don't have time for this. I'm sorry for damaging your tricycle, or whatever- here." You threw a fully punched Xing Fu Tang loyalty card at the kid’s dumbfounded face and walked off.

It's 9:57 AM, your o-chem class starts at 10 and you still can't find the campus. Why did my parents even make me leave Hong Kong? Because of the government, the pollution? Both countries are f.ucked. I choke there and I choke here.

Finally, I'm here.

You ran to the STEM building and up the stairs to land in a spacious lab room. You hurried to an empty seat near the top row. 9:59 AM.. Thank goodness.

In the midst of the lesson, the door opened to reveal the same clumsy jerk you had encountered a few minutes ago. He rushed to an empty seat, you going unnoticed by him.

Your first 50 minutes of college went by pretty quick. Nothing more than a syllabus review and a small question/answer session.

"I know it is the first day, but you are all in big kid school now, so I am assigning a semester project you will work on for all of this first term with a partner." Each array of your peers groaned at this announcement.

"You will use your knowledge from high school chemistry or an equivalent to complete it." The professor continued, "I will choose your partners and you are both expected to be responsible with it all semester."

"Remember your partner's name so that when I'm done, you can come down to get each other's contact information."

"Man Wol and Ji An.. Ha Jin and Hae Soo.."

The professor continued to call out names as you were caught up in texting Xuejiao about the kid who crashed into you earlier this morning being in your class, only half listening until you heard your name being called.

“Y/N and Yangyang.." Did I miss a racist joke or something? What the hell is a Yang Yang?

You kept texting Xuejiao, deciding to deal with it after class.

"I know it's a lot to take in on the first day, but on the bright side, you don't have to do the project," Some idiots celebrated, "but know that I will judge you harshly on it and I will be teaching at an Ivy League while you get kicked out of an Ivy League, never achieving your dreams." He fakes a sad face and the same idiots fuss.

"Now come meet your partners and have a good rest of your first day!" Your first professor dismissed the first class.

You put your phone in your pocket and stumbled to the bottom of the classroom, calling out for "Yangyang," the name feeling awkward as it rolled off your tongue.

"That's me." You spun around and were met with the trike guy from earlier.

"IT'S YOU!" You exclaimed in unison with him, the space between you two silencing for a second, before you spoke again.

"Oh my God I can't believe I got such a d!ck as a partner." You rolled your eyes with crossed arms.

"Hey! It takes two to d!ck!" Yangyang argues back. You stared at the fellow Asian boy in disgust and dismay.

"What the f.uck!?"

Both of you suddenly broke down laughing, your huddled classmates peeking at you with judgemental stares.

Yangyang calmed down and talked more comfortably with you, "Thanks for the boba by the way. I drank it deliciously.. before I dropped it because I crashed again."

"That's what you get for being a pr!ck to me." You scoffed.

"Oh baby that wasn't being a pr!ck. That was simply getting you warmed up to want me." He tapped your chin to bop your head back while giving a creepy stare.

...

"You're a f.ucking crazy person."

"Like it or not, Mulan, you're stuck with me for an entire semester." He stuck his tongue out at you.

"Mulan?" You questioned.

"Yeah. You're a Chinese b!tch, right?" You glared at him, but had to nod ‘yes’ anyway.

"Cool. I'm Taiwanese.. I need to get to the other side of campus so give me your number so we can work out the details on the project. You wanna meet up at the library tonight?" You agreed and gave him your number.

"Great. See you tonight, Mulan." He winked and jumped out of the room.

Shaking your head at the ironic situation, you walked to the next class with a little over 10 minutes to spare, so you stopped for coffee at the Starbucks on campus.

The shop was pretty small and there weren't a lot of people inside. As you were about to enter, another Asian boy held the door open. "Thank you." You smiled, bowing your head in gratitude.

"Anything for a girl with such a charming smile. Can I buy you a coffee?" He asked.

"No, that's ok!" You replied, not wanting to inconvenience this guy- and besides, he might just be trying to get in my pants.

"Please I insist! Get anything you want!" You decided to take his offer because in the end, it’s free coffee. He was also pretty charming himself, and seemingly harmless.

"Could I get an iced Americano, please?" You ordered. "I'll have the same." The boy told the barista.

You both stood to the side of the bar, talking while the identical drinks were being made. "Thank you for paying, you really didn't have to." "No no it's really fine. I wanted to.. I'm Dejun Xiao by the way, I think I'm in your chemistry class. What's your name?"

"I'm Y/N." "Oh are you Chinese!?" You nodded. "I'm Chinese as well. Are you from China?" "I'm from Hong Kong." "That's so cool! I'm from Guangdong." "Oh nice, nice.." The drinks were handed to you and you walked out together, strolling into the center of the campus.

"What class do you have next?" Dejun asked, sipping at his coffee. You took out a crumpled paper to examine the schedule printed on it. "I have biochem next." "Oh we have the same class!" Dejun announced. "That's crazy! Are you premed?" You asked him. "No, I'm studying forensic science. I want to be a homicide detective.”

Wow this guy is impressive. "Wow, that's awesome.. I want to be a heart surgeon.”

“That’s so cool!” "Thank you." You laughed at his energy. The two of you walked in the direction of your next shared class, conversing and giggling with each other along the way.

You reached your next classroom and found empty seats next to one another. “You can call me Xiaojun, by the way. I think it’s cooler than Dejun.”

“If you have to say your name is cool, then it’s not cool.” Another Asian man walked up to your row.

"Hey man! You're in here, too?" Xiaojun asked. "Yeah! It was a lucky draw." Xiaojun then motioned over to you, "This is Y/N. She's my new.. friend?" He smiled at you, looking for confirmation. Returning his smile, "Yes I am. Nice to meet you." The other male shook your hand and introduced himself. "Nice to meet you, too. I'm Kun."

"She's from China, like us!" Kun was surprised. "Really? Why did you come to America?" "My parents made me." You shrugged. "Wow mine did, too." Kun chuckled and sat down in the row of you and Xiaojun.

I left China, but China came to me. Maybe this year is destined to be good..

To be continued…

𝘲𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘳

[catchester]

This is my 5th attempt to post this.

TW: Illness. 

I get distracted and go off on tangents and end up writing a wall of justification, because when I’m sick, I think you’ll think I’m a hypochondriac. I’ll tell you I have a cold, that’s nothing and easily medicated into submission, but things like having the norovirus, that I won’t mention until I’m recovered, usually for a while. 

Well this time I’m speaking up because this is going to be a big part of my life for a while. And yes, I have a copy of my CT report and discharge letter because I still think you won’t believe me. You’ll call me an attention seeker.  

I have stage 4 metastatic bowel cancer with metastases in the lungs and liver, as well as lymph involvement. 

I have a 9% chance of seeing the year out. 

Only 4 people know in real life, and my best friend on here. 

I haven’t told my parents and I don’t want to. My mother’s reaction will probably break me. My father is my facebook friend, and since he chose my stepmother over his children (seriously, she gave him an ultimatum, her or us) I don’t think he deserves to get to pretend to care. 

The problem with keeping this a secret though, is that I’m constantly self censoring. My life is an open book and I’ve come to terms with the embarrassing and shameful things in my past. I don’t drone on about them but if my experiences can help someone else, I’ll share my story. It’s not like me to hide aspects of myself.

I want to joke about this because gallows humour has long been our family’s way of dealing with awful shit. 

So anyway, tomorrow my multidisciplinary team (MDT - surgical, chemo, & radiation) are meeting to best decide how to treat this. I’m too young for this disease. I’m too young to even be in the screening program. My big fear is they’re going to say it’s too far gone and give me palliative care only, but from the speed of the tests I’ve had, I think they’re planning to hit this hard. It’s going to be a miserable year for me but, I’m not ready to roll over and play dead. 

So there, I said it. Let’s see if I have the courage to press post. 

EDIT: Took me 4 hours to work up the courage to post. 

I feel like a need a nemesis, someone who will gloat and make me stronger out of spite (never underestimate the power of spite). Trouble is, if this is terminal, my final act of heroism has to be to take you down with me in some dramatic fashion, like pulling you into a volcano. 

Applications for the position of Cat’s nemesis on a postcard please (Blue Peter watchers will understand that reference). 

___________

For the squeamish, there’s icky talk below. 

And finally, on a serious note, when Chadwick Boseman died it occurred to me that I really should get my irritable bowel syndrome checked out, just to be sure it is IBS. I even looked on the website about how to get tested. It starts with a stool sample you do at home, but they note that if you have haemorrhoids and there is blood in your sample, you��ll be asked to come in for an endoscopy anyway. 

I do sometimes bleed, but I assumed it was from the haemorrhoids. 

We were in the middle of covid, the NHS was stretched to its limits, I was too young for bowel cancer, and who wants a tube stuck up their bum? (well, okay, some people probably get off on that). 

So I did nothing. 

The blood was likely coming from my colon, I saw the live feed from my colonoscopy. Remember those 80s slasher movies where you’d see someone stabbed in silhouette, then someone threw a bucket of blood at the screen? Yeah, it looked like that. Or maybe Carrie at her prom. 

But colonoscopies are not as bad as they seem. I didn’t want to be sedated so they gave me gas and air. Each time they took a biopsy I took a breath of it and that pretty much negated the pain and wore off immediately. There was no lasting discomfort. 

If you think there’s maybe even a chance something is wrong, get checked out. Yes, I recognise my privilege in having free healthcare, but please, get checked out if you at all can. I wonder where I’d be now if I’d gone to the GP 18 months ago. He was too young for it too, just a year older than me.

And I still have no serious symptoms. I went to the Dr for a lump in my breast, my blood tests showed I was dangerously anaemic, and I was admitted to hospital that night. 1 CT scan later and I’ve essentially been handed a death sentence. 

But don’t think that being anaemic has a scary cause and hide from the bad news. Someone else on my ward was admitted for being dangerously anaemic too. Her diagnosis? She wasn't getting enough vitamin B12. 

Well, no one ever said life was fair. 

And I’ll leave you with this final thought. Yes, the lung metastases do mean that I have bum in my lung. 

[purpleyellow]

Road To Kingdom

The boyz 12th member

Mae’s masterlist

“A summary of Mae during RTK” 

a/n: not @/ me using the performance names as historical events. Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open! 🧡

... After the concept meeting for Sword of Victory...

Mae cracked open the door to a practice room, making sure no one was inside before dropping her stuff, as well as her body, on the floor. The lightbulb making it almost impossible to keep her eyes open reminded her that she used to do that during her trainee days.

Here she was again, feeling hopeless like she was going to face the biggest challenge ever. And the girl was sure she wasn’t ready for it. 

Minkyung had a problem of self-doubting even though she couldn’t pinpoint it, all the members seemed willing to take on the challenge, yet she felt like she’d be the downfall of the group. And yes, she had a thing for being dramatic as well, that’s why she rested the back of her hand on her forehead and sprawled out her other arm.

The door flung open with mild force, startling her from her thoughts and sending her body into a more normal position. Q entered the room without a word and just laid on the floor next to her. Both members looked at the ceiling deep in thought.

Mae went back to the idea she had during the meeting. Not a particularly bright one, though it did attack the fact she felt like an upcoming burden to the group. Taking a deep breath she mumbled, “I think I should take a hiatus”.

After her words, the room went back to silence. Her heartbeat had increased due to the heaviness of what she had spoken, and looking to the side, she saw Changmin frown.

“Are you sick?” He asked after a few minutes and the girl shook her head. “Physically or mentally unwell? Is there an issue we can fix?”

His questions made her taken back, for Mae it was very clear why her taking a break would be beneficial for the group. 

“I’m saying because of the program”

“We’re joining a competition, so you want to drop out?” Changmin sat up confused. 

“I’m thinking of the bigger picture. The group will do better if you don’t have to worry about me keeping up with you guys”.

“No, you’re not. I’m sorry, but you’re being selfish now” He chuckled. “We don’t mind if you need to repeat the same move a couple of times extra to understand how it goes. Do you honestly think it’s going to help being one person down?”.

“I figured I wouldn’t be setting you back. It can be stressing sometimes and -” She sat up trying to explain her thoughts, and he shook his head.

“Minkyung, you bring a lot to the team, just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean it’s worth losing everything else. When we were rookies I used to get annoyed because you were so quick to give up. But then you began understanding how you learn and your limits. And even though it takes you a little longer you push yourself. Why did you suddenly come back to assuming you can’t do it?”

“The meeting today. Everyone is preparing a lot, there’s so much thought involved and maybe not pulling it off would mean I failed you guys”

“I’m terrified too,” Changmin nodded, placing a hand on his chest “I mean, did you listen to the stunts they were talking about. My first thought was to run away. But then I remembered we’re here to prove ourselves” 

Sighing, Mae looked at him annoyed “You’re a great dancer, and singer and whatever else, you’ll do fine because that’s how your body works”

“And you’re an insane performer” He cut her off with wide eyes. A random giggle left his mouth before he continued “I’m talking about acting and becoming another person on stage, you literally do that in the blink of an eye. This is your chance of growth. Who cares if you pull an all-nighter to get the right angle? When you’re on stage it’s like someone else entirely, and we haven’t even done some crazy concepts like we’re planning on doing”

“If the angles are wrong then we won’t look synchronized” The girl mumbled looking at the big mirror and Q chuckled.

“And that’s why you’re not going to rest until it’s perfect. None of us is going too actually. We’re going in as a team, with all our flaws and strengths”

“It’s nerve-wracking, isn’t it?” She mumbled after a moment of silence. Changmin laughed and added. “I’m scared to death”

… Five hours before Catching Fire…

The last rehearsal before the performance had ended and the group went back to their dressing room. Sitting sideways on the couch, Mae rested her head on her arm and watched some members go get their makeup retouched.

Jacob sat on her side and stared at the girl’s blank face before laughing. “Can you blink, so I know you’re still alive?”

Blinking once, she slowly adverted her gaze to him and bit her lip “This is crazy”

“It’s not as fast-paced as they show it on TV though. At least we have some time to process what’s going on” Jacob shrugged making her narrow her eyes at him “But yeah. It is crazy”

“Sunwoo keeps going on high places. And there’s some acrobatic stuff I’m not sure how it works and-” She kept mumbling like she hadn’t been there for the tiring practices and rehearsals. Laughing Jacob interrupted her by adding.

“And you fake kicked someone”

“And I fake kicked someone” Mae repeated with wide eyes making him laugh and Hyunjae approach them.

“Hey, I’ve been jumping on high places too,” He said defensively making her stare at him and shrugged. Jaehyun laughing before patting her on the back “How about once we get home today you have a really long night to sleep”

“I’m good” Mae shook her head “I’ll sleep but tomorrow don’t let me miss the meetings please”

Agreeing with her, Hyunjae stepped back to the styling session and the girl stood up to use the restroom.

Just as Mae turned around the corner, a faint sound of a violin came from Golden Child’s door. Before she could fully process the song it was playing, the door opened wide showcasing Jangjun.

“Well, do we have a spy among us?” He laughed bowing at her and Mae repeated the gesture a little embarrassed.

“I was just passing by and heard the violin. I didn’t mean to interrupt” She said making an x with her hands.

“Nah, I don’t believe you” He teasingly said and dropped an arm over her shoulder, ultimately bringing her inside the room “So, what did you hear? Are you going to sell this information to your members? And what is it going to be your concept today, I can see the hunger games thing on your shirt, is it like a revolution”

“Uh, I don’t know… Hello” Bowing to the rest of Golden Child, the girl tried to remember what he had first asked her. “I only heard a melody, and don’t worry I won’t spread it around”

“Hyung, I told you not to play it right now” Bomin scoffed to Joochan, who seemed to realize he was still holding out his violin before hiding it on his back.

“But Mae-ssi is a friend, isn’t she? She will hold out the shock factor for us” He laughed making the girl nod and give them a thumbs up. “Do you know how to play it too?”

“I do actually” She laughed and Joochan gestured her to take the instrument “Oh, no it’s fine”

“You heard our song already. At least play for us or tell us something about your stage” Jibeom teased leading her to sigh and take the violin to herself.

Fixing up her posture, Mae quickly played a random song she had learned as a child making the boys cheer. 

“Okay, I should be going now,” She said bowing embarrassed by their compliments and Denyeol nodded along. Fist bumping her before raising a finger.

“But, Mae if you could do us a favor” He started grabbing her attention “Please make sure you show you’re surprised”

Laughing she nodded making her way to the door, before leaving she held up her hands with her fists closed “Golden Child fighting!”

“Mae fighting!”

(requested by 🍓🥛 anon) 

… Behind the scenes for Heroin…

“Why are we so embarrassing?” Sunwoo giggled and clicked his pen repeatedly. He and Mae were sitting on the same side of the table waiting for Leedo from Oneus to show up for the writing session. 

Bouncing her leg, Mae hugged the boy’s arm and looked at the door expectantly, only to get startled by it opening up. 

“Hello” The tall boy put his head inside the room and entered it slowly. The three idols greeted each other and sat down still a little awkward from being the first time they truly interacted.

“I got the demo, so we can write the raps to go with it” Leedo said unlocking his phone. A piano melody that would blend in with Sunmi’s Heroin started playing, and Mae quickly unlocked her own device.

Opening a piano app, she waited for the recording to be over before quickly replicating it on her phone in different tempos.

“You picked it up quite fast” Leedo laughed scribbling down on his paper, and she smiled. “Sorry, just a habit before writing. This way we can adjust it as we go”

“No yeah, sure” He cleared his throat and Sunwoo bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing.

“Anyway, for the lyrics, I was thinking we could talk about becoming an idol”

After finishing up with their rap parts. The three idols made their way up to the practice room where the rest had began working with the choreographer.

“Mae, come here” Juyeon called out as soon as she stepped in the room, so he could run over some parts with her and Ravn. “There’s only actual choreography for you after the last chorus, but we do some kind of puppet thing during your verse”

“My love for this song couldn’t be any bigger” Mae giggled and looked around the room for the camera “Sunmi Sunbaenim, if you’re watching this, let’s be friends”

Laughing, Juyeon pulled out a chair for them to start while saying “Watch out. Taemin Sunbaenim commented on danger, maybe she’ll actually see this”

“Wait, he did” Mae stopped with wide eyes and Juyeon nodded. “Holy sh-”

“Yeah” Laughing he pulled her arm “Just remember this is still a broadcast” 

“Honestly, if she ever reaches out let me know. I want to be her friend too” Ravn added making them giggled, and she gave him a positive sign.

“As long as you don’t tell Juyeon, because he’s been censoring me a lot lately”

“Well, we have an agreement”

Sulking, Juyeon added “I don’t see how this is fair but okay”

… 1 minute after Quasi una fantasia …

The members bowed to the staff and extras before slowly stepping away from the stage. Mae could see some of the boys crowding around Juyeon who seemed pretty upset, though she had no idea what was going on. 

Holding her side, the girl went behind the boy and gave him a back hug making them waddle together back to the dressing room. Once they were all settled back, she stepped away from the crowd and raised her shirt a bit showcasing a forming bruise right above her waist.

“Crap, how did that happen?” Kevin who looked her way at the right time said under his breath. “You need to ice it, probably"

“I bumped on the corner of the piano," She said recalling the incident. “Hopefully it wasn’t noticeable. The camera wasn’t turned to me anyway”

The one part that had gotten her most nervous during this performance was her piano solo for the climax of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Not only it dictated the rhythm for the first dance break, but it was also challenging for her as she hadn’t played something like this in a while, and it ended a few seconds before her part. 

So strategically speaking, she had to run off the instrument as soon as it was done and went back to the center of the performance. Not without hitting her hip against the wood.

“Is it hurting?” He asked while waving for a staff member and asking them for ice.

“It’s starting to. Do you think it’ll leave a big bruise?” Mae shrugged and hissed as the cold hit her warm skin. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on something else “Well, not mentioning everything. How was the performance?”

“Weren’t you there to see it yourself”

“I don’t know. I kind of blackout every time we go on stage” She made him laugh, but her face was dead serious.

“Wait really?”

“Kind of. I can remember it roughly I guess. Today there was so much to focus on that I’m not sure if I was entirely present. I banged my hip and didn't feel it at first for all things”

“Dude, same I guess. I need to lay down and get smushed by ten weighted blankets tonight” Kevin added hugging her on the other side and leading them to the couch.

… 3 days before Checkmate …

“The synchronization feels off” Eric spoke from the huddle of members watching the recording of their practice.

“Mae…” Q started, but before he could finish the girl spoke “Right arm higher. I got it”

“If you got it then why didn’t you do it right away” He turned playfully to her and poked her nose. 

Massaging her back, the girl laughed and walked back to her spot next to Haknyeon. The boy dropped his bottle on the floor to help her out “Did you fall on your side?”

“No. I did trip while running from one side to the center, so maybe that was it” She shrugged looking around the room “Nobody is intact”

“Tell me about it” He pouted and called Sangyeon closer. “Hyung, maybe we should work on another part. We’ve been doing this section of the chorus for too long”

“Go talk to the captain, I’m not in charge of that” The leader laughed sending him towards Changmin, Juyeon, and Hyunjae talking to one of the choreographers.

“They would listen if you’re the one asking,” Mae said leaning on his side and Sangyeon nodded. 

“Yeah, but I already came all the way over here. I don’t feel like walking back” Sangyeon chuckled, looking to the side where one of the staff members started calling his attention.

“We’ve got the costumes ready if you want to do a rehearsal with them” Looking up at the leader, Mae separated herself from him to run for the stylists while he went to call the other boys.

After the stylists helped her put on her clothes, one of them brought a box and quickly pulled her to the side “I know we’re not doing hair and makeup for today. But I’d figure it’s best for you to have it on for the rehearsal so we can make sure it won’t fall”

“Wow, is she getting a present?” Eric laughed approaching them and the stylist opened the box to reveal a thin black tiara to go along with her outfit.

“The crown itself is one of the props, so we had to make it subtle, but we couldn’t pass away the chance to represent the nickname you were given during the program,” She said helping her adjust the thing on her head and Mae walked to one of the mirrors.

“Wow, thank you so much Unnie,” The girl said checking herself out in the mirror “My face looks dead but damn this is pretty” She added making Eric and New, who also had joined them, laugh.

“You know, during a chess game, the Queen is one of the main pieces” She turned around to them holding a hand to her chest and a teasing expression “Thank goodness we didn’t go with a narrative that would give me that role because I’d crumble under the pressure”

“Only for the first week, then it would quickly get to your head” Chanhee scoffed patting her on the back and making her giggle. Eric chuckled as well and urged them outside “Let’s go work, so we can get Kingdom’s lost princess back to her place”

“Mock me as you want, I never asked for the nickname”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 20: Pharaoh’s Cool New Trick

Digging my way through quite a pile of commission work (funny how these things only come all at once or not at all), nearing the light at the end of the tunnel, was looking forward to some free time to catch up on my many little side projects when I was asked to take off for a weekend to do some cat-sitting to which I would NEVER say no to a cat, so like...Rip this blog I guess, we only update like once a week nowadays, but what do you do?

That’s right, play Puzzles and Dragons! The only phone game worth paying any attention to! Where they just released Pegasus on their Yugioh Collab and he looks pretty great!

So I’m just gonna take a second for some art appreciation, because the Puzzles and Dragons art team is just A++++ honestly, and yes, I did pull 13 times to get a Pegasus in my monster box, and yes, he is a completely insane team leader that is absolutely broken when paired with Yugi (the numbers are so satisfying) but...look at him. He looks so good!

(also I finally got Joey Wheeler, and so now my gatcha cravings are settled. And, don’t worry, I play this game so much that I was there during Christmas when they offered like a bajillion stones for free so I didn’t actually use real money on this.)

Now PAD also released a Weevil and Rex, and I don’t know why, and neither does the art team because they still look pretty good but in comparison to all the mains, they sure do looks like just some shorty guys in some casuals.

though I gotta admit, I want to learn how the hell this art team does swooshy effects, because man, that would make my art so much better to just have flames violently exploding out of all my art. Why am I not doing that more often? I have the technology.

anyway, I didn’t bother trying to pull them. Maybe I’ll accidentally pull them when they eventually release a Duke Devlin. (also, RIP to the fact that Roland will probably never be in Puzzles and Dragons but like...I can only send them so many polite letters covered in stickers pretending I’m some 10 year old child and writing in my broken Hiragana “Roland in PAD?”. Thems the breaks. (They also might not remember who Roland is.))

Shoutouts to the card that Weevil is holding that is censoring this nipple on the booby spider, PS.

So because this is not actually a Puzzles and Dragons blog, and it’s been ten eons since I regularly updated so I could remember episode to episode...where the hell were we?

That’s right, we’re on an island now. This show’s wonderful obsession with evil islands (and spoiler, this is one of the few Yugioh Islands that doesn’t explode at the end. Mostly because Kaiba isn’t here to do it or this place would be cinder)

(read more island stuff under the cut)

Anyway, after announcing “hey guys! Screw islands!” Yugi immediately collapses and without any warning.

Apparently the armor is a big ol parasite, which is something that Yugi is so used to at this point that he refuses to admit that this is a problem. Just normal Muto stuff, refusing to tell anyone that he has a serious illness going on underneath that giant mass of hair.

(the sailor moon vibes coming off this weird orb energy)

Sort of feels like a call back to S1 when Yugi was clearly possessed and everyone else was like “He acting weird to you?” except it’s S5 and everyone has learned to never trust Yugi when he says he’s fine and they are responding like he is about to die. Which is correct.

Outside of the cave falls this scroll that is...glowing, I guess. So they open it up and get a bunch of hieroglyphs that give them the “riddle of light” and like youknow...it’s riddle stuff.

They’re doing this riddle for “wings.” And it’s like...everyone’s monster here has a set of wings or an ability to fly. Every single monster except for I dunno, flaming swordsman? Hell, Yugi himself had two sets of wings when he fused with Dark Magician (which was weird, and I still don’t like to think about what technically was going on there.) But we have to go and get ourselves even more wings.

Weirdly, Joey turns to Tea and does something that in any other show would be completely normal. He was like “you want to stay here with Yugi, don’t you?” and it was the first time Joey has ever actually addressed the fact that Tea and Yugi are close. Uncharted territory. I was amazed at the amount of casual shipping that is happening here. It’s almost like a normal ass relationship.

So the boys decide to go off, and be boys and tackle this themselves. And they shouldn’t have, because Tea is smart for this group, and also has the only healing spell.

Like if you’re playing D+D you wouldn’t typically leave your only healer behind. Just saying.

Also like...Grandpa Muto went with them? I guess he’d have to since he’s the translator but also...kind of weird to leave your grandson dying in a cave, but maybe that’s just the Muto lifestyle.

Do not be fooled by my caps, no one has addressed the Bakura in the puzzle for 3 seasons. I’m starting to think this show will never address the Bakura in the puzzle. Which honestly, that would be hilarious if they made a big deal out of that plot point and then couldn’t use it in the end.

And speaking of plot points that kind of come out of nowhere and don’t make full sense with the continuity of the show--Joey has regressed back to the 4th grade.

Hey show? What?

So like if you love Joey, this is not the arc for you, because this arc he is reduced to a Himbo and nothing else. Straight up didn’t know what an echo is, but is very strong and pretty, I guess.

This inevitably happens with any TV show becuase different people make different parts, and I’ve brought up before that sometimes it feels like some teams only have loose post-it notes of what any character should be like at any given point (ESPECIALLY with Seto Kaiba’s timeline) but like...

...Personally I’m mot so fond of this interpretation of Joey, kind of ignores Joey’s best traits, and makes Tristan look way too smart in comparison (and like I always pinned Tristan to be the Himbo of the group, but maybe it’s because they give Tristan so little else to do?)

And like don’t get me wrong, Joey’s a dumbass a lot of the time and needs to get corrected by his pals...but...to the point he doesn’t know what an echo is? He’s a dumbass in a High School student sort of way, youknow?

Anyway, they get down to this big ravine, and they have to destroy this stone while the light passes over it. Kind of feels like a Breath of the Wild shrine quest, actually. In fact, I think Breath of the Wild recycled the shadow/sunlight pathing quest like 4 or 5 times. (I love Breath of the Wild to death but boy did they run out of ideas at the end there.)

They have to fight a glass monster and it’s kind of like...do you know the game Balls 3D? probably not, but it looked like a bunch of random shapes stuck together like a 90′s animation. They basically went to war with shapes.

Pure Himbo energy, has several pokemon, but punches for his pokemon instead of using them. A power move if I ever saw one.

Youknow that would make pokemon a lot more interesting if you could like throw out your pikachu, and then choose to just physically run up to your opponents Eevee and sock it in the jaw. Raise of hands--I know you all would love a version of pokemon like that. Let Ash Ketchum punch a Ratata.

Bro has informed me that Ash does do something like this in the anime. But I’m not talking about the anime, I’m talking about the video game. Give me the option to physically combat my rival. This is what I want, Pokemon.

They discover a way to break the monolith, and the show thinks we’re like actually 7 years old (because the show is Y7, although I forget because it deals with so many dark themes) so the show is going to hold on to this puzzle for a while...just to fill time. And it’s fine because we gotta switch over to Pharaoh anyway.

Yami has this dream again. He attempts to fuse with Dark magician to overcome the dream, but alas, he is still not strong enough.

Yugi wakes up in this murky cave while Tea is out washing out like...some rag? (he’s also still got a rag, so I guess multiple rags were required for how sweaty Yugi is.)

Yugi says “I feel like I’m a new man!” a lot in this episode, and every time he calls himself a man like he’s some sort of adult it’s very funny to me.

And then this plot lore dropped.

I mean I guess inevitably it had to happen...

But man, end of an era. It was freakin hilarious while it lasted: that Pharaoh refused to read ancient Egyptian because it’s like 2002 and he is a High Schooler living in Japan and he actually doesn’t WANT to resolve the mystery of the puzzle. Maybe the people who made this arc don’t know about how in S2 and S3, the fact Pharaoh couldn’t read Marik’s back tatt was like...a really big issue. He couldn’t read the God card, he couldn’t even read that massive tablet that read “HEY PHARAOH THIS IS LITERALLY YOU”. KAIBA had to tell him how to read the God card for him. Freakin Seto “Magic is a lie” Kaiba had to tell him how to use the God Card because Pharaoh couldn’t read it.

But like...Pharaoh finally gave in at some point after the world was devoured by the Leviathan, and before Kaiba finished building Kaibaland (which was already built in S1 but wtv)

The timelines on this show have always been a mishmash...but this one is just like...

...show are you trying to convince me that at any point in this show after season Zero, Pharaoh had any idea what he was doing? Did he sap that brain energy straight out of Joey Wheeler so he could do this?

Wow.

(secretly hoping he forgets how to read Egyptian after this arc is over and the show goes back to the other development team)

Pharaohs reasoning is that, if this is the riddle of the light.....

....then where is the riddle of darkness????????????

and when Tea was like “Pharaoh that is not even remotely logic. Omg it’s so bright outside, lets go back to gross cave.” and Pharaoh was like “Tea! You got it!” and she was like “What the hell are you talking about?”

Not gonna lie, I saw the Orichalcos green, and I got concerned.

Anyway, Yugi gets very frustrated and was like “ugh, lets go save em. They’re gonna die (again.)” and marches down there as if he didn’t pass out an hour ago.

And he fuses with Dark Magician again while everyone else (including his grandpa) was like “Yugi are you freakin kidding me? The suit freakin kills you omg! Tea you had one freakin job!”

And then we get the plot twist that...I mean it makes sense but it was choreographed in a confusing way.

And out of no where this guy shows up again:

So this mysterious man shows up and says “If you don’t succeed you have to live here forever” which...nice...that would probably save the world a lot of problems if Yami got locked away and took his OP puzzle with him. And then this man also says “if you do succeed you become VERY POWERFUL” and Yami was like. “...”

This whole episode had a theme to it, where Tristan and Joey were trying to prove that they could do things on their own and without Yugi’s help. And honestly...felt a little bit misplaced. Yami’s the same guy who murdered Yugi last season with the Orichalcos so like...

...I mean he is probably more reliable than Tristan who once died and turned into a robot monkey for 10ish episodes.

and then they flew into a glowing door.

Folks, this was wild to look at.

This is wild.

And at this point I closed Photoshop and thought I was done. But then I looked at my timeline on the video and was like...wait...there’s more?

and I’m really glad I kept watching because it went back to Alex, who...is apparently just still at those steps in this haunted ass Pyramid.

Now we’re watching Yugioh.

I forgot for a second when they turned Joey into a Himbo and made Pharaoh literate, but we’re back. I mean...

...look at the liner art on this adult man.

So...I posit the question...has Alex spent the last 2-3 episodes doing nothing but applying eyeliner to his face in the dark? Because he absolutely has. And honestly, the vibe of being in a spooky haunted pyramid with barely any light, just applying eyeliner down the edge of your face...that’s a Yugioh vibe, if I ever saw one.

This arc is wild. Anyway, next episode we do even more fetch quests and riddles? Just going to guess now that we probably will.

(and for those new here, this is a link so you can read them from the top. Which, since we’re in S5, means you got like...hours of Yugioh content to read through. Enjoy the rewards of my weird hobby.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[spicypeak]

MC?

Heyo sorry for lack of updates I’ve been taking a biiit of a break

I’ve been slowly (emphasis on slowly) going through all the new info from the album and have compiled a bit of a list of info on the MC as well as bits that came with the new drama tracks

My copy of the artbook isn’t here yet so if there’s any new info from that I will update this

I’ll put it under cut since I feel like it’s potential spoilers?

I feel like I have to state from all the new info I cannot say whether or not MC is the girl in the headband. We have to remember that the EROSION boys don’t seem to remember the two other kids from the forest, so if this is her, they do not know/realize it.

So! First things first, the first(?) instance MC appears is during the drama parts they played as intermission during UNDERDOGS! If you have not heard it, it is included as a bonus in the Band Ecstasy version of the album, but I have also done a rough outline of what happened in it in my event report here!

The drama tracks go one by one through each of the boys starting with Toxin, as he was the one who found her a brought her backstage, then goes in the usual order of Yoru>Neight>Byakuya>Creha. (Not important but Yoru is just not censored in any of these new tracks it was really shocking)

Toxin, Neight, and Byakuya are all like we need to bring her to father; while Yoru is against it and Creha’s indifferent. Also they’re all like we aren’t vampires but I think we were already supposed to assume they were a different demon race anyways, but it’s nice to have a confirmation.

What we learn from these tracks is that she isn’t a BLOODS, her friend wanted to go to the live and she tagged along, (ah, youth, as Neight put it). It’s also painfully obvious she has no idea what’s going on- Yoru can tell she doesn’t and is sympathetic but thinks it’s better she doesn’t know. Neight believes she’s lying. Creha can also tell she doesn’t know but thinks it would be a pain to explain things to her.

I think I should say that Toxin, Neight, and Byakuya just start drinking her blood without asking or anything. Yoru and Creha on the other hand she offers them her blood.

Also interesting to note Byakuya and Creha both ask her if she’s a vampire, to which she denies and says she’s just a normal high school girl.

When it gets to Creha’s track he lets her go in the end- he actually let her go quite early into the track, but she only stayed and offered her blood because he was struggling to get over the urge to drink blood.

Anyways moving onto to the tokuten tracks from Stellaworth and Animate These show the following? day at school.

Here we learn that MC is a second year at Houshin Gakuen and is in the class next door to Toxin and Creha’s (so I think it’s safe to say this isn’t Yui)

She goes on a walk with Toxin, they get lost. Toxin’s hand fetish appears and she freaks out. Neight asks her to help with student council things because there’s no way he’s asking his brothers. She has lunch with Yoru- Yoru freaks out over the lack of nutrition in her lunch and gives her some of his Byakuya has detention because he doesn’t do his work and she helps him out Creha runs into her in the hallway literally, and she guides him around because he keeps bumping into Everything

more personal thoughts below, feel free to read them or not

She is definitely wary of Toxin and Neight and I do not blame her sitting through their tracks was  painful

Yoru is the most sympathetic and nicest to her, I would like this to be endgame but I also have a bias towards ahem tsundere yankees, me with my face in my hands the entire time like how is he this cute

Byakuya is worrisome as expected but still cute, but I’m painfully biased- but he for sure had lines where I was like,   BOY YOU GOOD? The せんせ this makes sense(haha) now thank god I don’t have to sit here like  why tho. I haven’t  100% decided if I want to tl it as doc or dowcto but anyways he kind of sees her as a doctor because her blood is like a medicine makes his headaches go away (which we learn here he just has constantly)

Creha’s pretty indifferent overall, but that’s to be expected, it’s cute though

I’m very curious on how this with progress, especially with conflicting motivations Toxin and Neight are 100% like we’re bringing her to Germany Byakuya’s only doing it because he’s obviously terrified of Carnelian Creha wants nothing to do with this- he also wants to stay in Japan because games Yoru in particular I’m curious about because he seems like the only one that would willingly go against Carnelian 

CW: Abuse ment  I’ve kind of had like a feeling that Carnelian might have abused Byakuya just based on his reactions when he’s brought up, but there is one line in particular here that’s kind of cemented that for me, when Byakuya talks about having to bring her to Carnelian he freaks out a bit about how he absolutely can’t go against Carnelian’s words and also says something along the lines of “I don’t want to hurt anymore” I don’t think it would be a stretch to think that all five of them were abused in some way, but I feel like Byakuya and Creha in particular are the most  reactive? when he’s brought up, Byakuya’s anxiety/fear and Creha’s avoidance

[hankwritten]

Disapprobation

Demoman/Soldier, 3k Warnings: Mild Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia

n. Moral disapproval; condemnation. Tavish’s life has a lot of shouldn’ts

Tavish’s life has a lot of shouldn’ts

For instance, he really shouldn’t be risking life and limb to meet up and have drinks with some barmy American he met at a projectile weapons convention. He shouldn’t be breaching contract over a bloke who’s got so many screws loose he could open up a hardware store, shouldn’t be sneaking around when the best case scenario is a few good laughs and the worst case scenario is losing a multi-million dollar salary.

He shouldn’t keep his lunch in the same place he keeps his potassium chloride. He shouldn’t drink so much, but he’s heard that one so many times anyway it’s hard to pay attention to. The voice of self-preservation is constant and buzzing, putting a churning in his gut, reminding him that he could be making friends with folks who aren’t a walking death sentence. He shouldn’t be going out for ribs. He shouldn’t be accepting invites to Las Vegas for the furlough.

He definitely shouldn’t be pressed into the mattress, another man’s tongue in his mouth.

The hotel bed creaks as Jane kisses him harder, and he thinks, oh god he wishes he could just not think. Their bodies are hot pressed against each other, their fancy jackets gone for the evening as they’re down to their undershirts as insubstantial barriers between skin on skin. Jane is heavy on top of him, and he shouldn’t like how that feels, to be held down while he and his best friend suck the air out of each other’s lungs. Jane has each of his wrists pinned to the sheets, and he shouldn’t like that either, how Jane’s taken control, how Tavish is slowly letting himself come undone.

There’s this plop at the loss of suction as Jane lifts his lips off Tavish’s and onto the Demoman’s neck, whisper-hissing, begging, praying, “Tav, Tavish. Oh god Tav.”

It’s slippery where time is now and where it was minutes ago before he was like this, before he was craving Jane's everything. It happened because they were laughing or maybe fighting or maybe…no they just tripped. They tripped and Jane landed on Tavish, and it wasn’t different at first. It just knocked the wind out of him. It wasn’t until Jane was chuckling and trying to push himself up that they had stopped, that they’d locked eyes and Jane’s smile had slowly fallen away, a mask lifted to something underneath. It was hunger, small and fiery at first when Jane’s eyes openly raked Tavish’s body, not disguising the fact as they took in his state of undress since—unlike Jane—Tavish had been successful at getting out of his dress pants. The hunger had grown hotter, burned brighter, a bonfire as someone kept shoveling more on, and Tavish drank in being looked at like a dying man in the desert. He’d never been desired like that, not in his entire life, and when Jane finished his tour of Tavish’s body he couldn’t suppress the hitch in his breath when their eyes finally met again.

He’d swallowed when Jane leaned closer. He’d closed his eye as Jane had pressed that first, tentative kiss against him.

Now his back arches, shoving his stomach up into the human canopy above him. His nipples are hard and he didn’t know they were so damn sensitive until they scrape against the solid plane of Jane’s chest and he whimpers. He shouldn’t be doing that either. He’s a damn mercenary, a Demoman, and he shouldn’t...

“God Tavish,” Jane’s muttering in his mouth in-between rough kisses. “I fucking. I love you. Want you so damn bad.”

And Jane must be a fucking mind reader because those words are a switch in Tavish’s brain. He can’t censor the moan that comes out of him, no matter how weak, how pathetic he sounds as his hips jerk upwards. Jane is moving his arms, and it takes him a second to notice that Jane is taking time to pin down both his hands with one of his own, and his free one now slides down until it can toy with the edge of Tavish’s undershirt.

“Jane…”

It’s the only thing he’s said in ages. He shouldn’t be saying anything at all, let alone confessing what’s coursing through his system, revealing how I want you isn’t quite right but I want you to want me is just so damn conceited. So the only thing he can do is breathe Jane’s name in a plea.

The roaming hand snakes up under his tank, the pretense of attire gone as the too-cold fingers press against unbearably hot flesh. Jane further displays his mind reading powers tweaking Tavish’s nipple with his thumb, clawing out another gurgle from the Demoman.

It’s so dangerously similar now, edging so close to fear, the shouldn’ts piling in his head as his breath increases. He tries to lift his arms and can’t. He tries clear his mind and can’t. He tries to make his voice behave where his body will not, as Jane’s knee begins to move up-

“Jane,” he yelps, only this time he says it in panic as his eye snaps open and he jerks upward. “Shit Jane- shit we need to stop. We’ll- shit.”

Jane freezes. The constriction around Tavish’s wrists lessons, and then disappears entirely and Jane rears back onto his haunches. Tavish wriggles until he’s against the headboard, panting heavily.

“Holy shit,” he coughs.

“You alright Tav?” Jane is looking sideways at him, but not in the way Tavish is expecting. The expression on his face is inscrutable.

“No. No! Of course not, we almost just-” The ghost of Jane’s body is on him, the memory of seconds ago where his hand was so close to Tavish’s waistband. He tries to shake it away. “If I hadn’t said something just now, we would have both crossed some damn lines.”

“Uh. Yeah. Probably.”

Tavish looks up and is bludgeoned upside the head with understanding. He realizes why Jane’s expression is so damn weird: he’s not ashamed. He’s not ashamed in the slightest.

“Jane,” Tavish says cautiously. “You know why we can’t do this, right?”

This when they’re still half-undressed on the bed together, breathless and sweating and the only thing keeping them back is Tavish’s self control. No one else’s. He’s alone at the wheel and Jane’s only refraining out of personal respect, not any sense of how screwed they are.

Jane squints at him. Thinking hard, peering deep into the soul he sometimes claims a RED can’t have, (and at the next drunken moment declaring that if it existed, it would be the purest, bravest soul in the damn world.) “Because you are…no longer in the mood?”

“Because we’re in enough trouble as it is!” Tavish throws up his hands. “Do you know how bloody condemned we are? Already RED and BLU can catch wind of us at any moment, I can’t go into half the places you can in this blasted country, and we want to add shagging each other in our Vegas hotel room to that bloody list?”

Jane’s forehead wrinkles, his features that Tavish has only ever seen go soft in the past few minutes now toughening up again. “Were you not…wanting that?”

“Fuck, Jane of course I wanted it,” the admission falls out too quickly. Too late to grab back and saying it aloud is its own line crossed. Having already failed to keep it packed down, he tries to at least get to his point. “I just shouldn’t.”

Jane stares at him blankly.

“Right. Of course.” Tavish presses the heel of his palm against his forehead. “Look at who I’m talking to here. Man who’s never suppressed an impulsive urge in his life.”

“It is not an impulse Tav.” Jane almost sounds…offended. Or something like it, as though he's irritated he has to make such an obvious correction. “It’s not an impulse if I’ve thought about doing it nearly every day since I’ve met you.”

That desire, that hunger Tavish had seen. He knows Jane has looked at him before, can now recognize it for what it was, those eyes flickering at him sometimes with the smolder beneath. It feels unwarranted. He feels undeserving, that Jane has been fancying him for months, and he diverts, “if that’s what you want, there’s a lot better sheep in the field.”

Jane narrows his eyes. “Gross.”

“Ach it’s an expression-” Tavish huffs. “Look, if men are to your tastes, you can find a hookup that’s a lot less dangerous. You don’t have to lower your standards just because I’m…around.”

“My tastes?” Jane scoffs. “What do you know about my tastes, DeGroot? Every time we go to the pier, you get me the wrong flavor of ice cream—even when I tell you exactly what kind to get.”

“I told you lad, they were out of ro-”

“My tastes,” Jane carries on, “are rocky road and handsome Scotsmen. So you can take that to the bank and sign it.” Jane crosses his arms.

A new, cool feeling runs down Tavish’s spine, the freezer-burn of fluster. “Jane,” he groans, running his hands over his scalp, craning his neck backwards until Jane finally falls out of his vision. “You’re not making this any easier.”

“I don’t understand why it’s can’t be easy. I love you. You, uh…” Jane trails off. “Like me. I think.”

Not since they stopped groping each other has Tavish wanted to touch him this bad, to assure him that he wants what Jane had given him, wants his hands, his mouth, to feel him again-

Tavish lets out a strangled cough, hard minutes of trying to cool off down the drain. Jane notices his state, the dilatation in his eye, and that only adds to his embarrassment. “Ach, please Jane. It’s not that simple. I just need you to listen, just a few minutes.”

“Fine. I will listen. But then you have to listen while I tell you what I think.”

Tavish allows it. He starts, “doing...” He waves his hand, disturbing the humid air between their still cooling bodies. “This, would be risky. More dangerous than anything we’ve ever done.”

“Un. Like. Ly,” Jane scoffs. “We’ve been sneaking around for ages by this point, and we’re damn good at it. Face it maggot, you didn’t want retreat with your tail between your legs until sloppy makeouts came into the picture.”

Tavish folds his arms. “I was thinking about it before then too. That we should break it off.”

“Ah bub bub bub!” Jane points out gleefully.

“It’s ‘bup bup bup’.”

“Quiet. You thought about it, but you didn’t actually do anything. So what is it Tavish? What’s the difference between then and now?”

An awkward silence hangs between them.

“…C’mon lad, don’t make me say it.” Tavish tries to look away, but he can still feel the solar rays of Jane’s glare socking him in the jaw. “Ach, it’s- what we got here isn’t right Jane. It’s not a natural thing for a pair of mates to do.”

“Ha! Natural?” Jane laughs. “I don’t buy that ‘natural’ crap from hippies and I certainly don’t buy it from you. I do not care about how natural the devil’s lettuce is! I do not care how much natural they cram into those granola bars, or how much fiber will help my bowel movements! Natural is for suckers.”

Tavish stares at him, long and hard, and finally, finally something small and brittle inside him crumbles away just enough that he’s hit with a weak chuckle. “You know, sometimes I don’t know how crazy you really are, and how much is just insight disguised as malarkey.”

“Good,” Jane smirks. “Keep it that way.”

“But still we need to-” Tavish rubbed his eye. “We need to think about this. It feels like I’m the only one here who’s trying to keep us both from getting killed.”

“Why?”

“Well someone has to, and it certainly isn’t going to be you.”

“Why?” Jane is angry now. “Why does one of us have to be holding the goddamn reigns? I didn’t ask you for ribs because I thought you would keep me back, I asked you for ribs because you broke that cop’s back and it was the most glorious display of patriotic strength I have ever seen!”

“Patriotism for where, exactly?” Tavish asks tiredly.

“You damn know well where. Don’t ask stupid questions.”

So Tavish doesn’t deign him with anything, just sits there massaging his head. He knows his rationality is eroding. That Jane is sitting here chipping away with his donkey’s indifference, his stupid, (literally) hardheaded attitude that Tavish can’t just turn away from.

“So,” Jane says. “I listened. Now you listen.”

“I barely got a word in edgewise,” Tavish complains.

“And they were all bad words. Now,” Jane sits crosslegged, stripped in the half-light coming in from the window, painting him radiant. “It’s clear you have some hangups about your latent bisexuality.”

Tavish puts all the power of a two-eyed stare out the focus of his singular optic, hoping the pure concentration gets his disdain though.

Jane carries on. “It is nothing to be ashamed about.”

“Ach, it's just that...I shouldn’t have wanted…shouldn’t have even…”

“You and your damn shouldn’ts,” Jane frowns.

The frustration, the embarrassment, all the waves of different emotions Tavish has been put though are washed away in the new torrent of shame. “Ah fuck.”

“Tavish,” Jane says sternly as Tavish begins to clutch his head. “I have been dying to put you in a supportive yet comforting hug for the past twenty minutes. Permission to embrace you?”

Fuck he could use a hug right now. He could use Jane right now. He nods.

He leans in to the enveloping warmth as Jane holds him in a touch that is scored all different than before, yet the same strange intimacy he’s starting to suspect relates to what Jane said before that knee-shaking I want you so damn bad. That he didn't say that in the heat of the moment or because he feels sorry for the sad Cyclops that happens to be his friend, but because he genuinely wants this as much as Tavish does.

Oh god does Tavish want this.

“Tav, has that stupid voice in the back of your head telling you not to do things ever made you happy?” Jane asks the back wall over Tavish’s shoulder.

“Kept me safe,” Tavish sighs.

“That’s not what I asked, private,” Jane reiterates. “Has it made you happy? Has it ever actually helped you find the man you’re supposed to be?”

Tavish thinks long and hard, bringing his hands up run shaky fingers through Jane’s hair. “No,” he admits. “I don’t think it has. You?”

“Me? I crushed that voice years ago under the heel of my American-made double buckle combat boots. Like a goddamn ant.”

Tavish snorts. “Figures.”

They stay like that, holding each other, for a long time. They stay like that until the neon pizza sign across the street winks off, until the digital clocks on the matching nightstands read long past 4am.

“I don’t know what to do about this,” Tavish admits finally.

“Fair. Even if you did, I wouldn’t listen. You’ve changed your mind so many goddamn times tonight I’d tell you you’d have to sleep on it first before I believed you.”

“I have not,” Tavish laughs. “Just…there’s a lot. And I’m scared. I’m scared every day RED or BLU’ll find out and we’ll be…” He sighs. “I guess it wouldn’t matter at that point if we were friends or…anything else. We’d be dead either way.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Tavish leans back and finds it in him to grin at this stupid, crazy, reckless man that is certainly going to get them both killed. No, no he’s not going to think like that anymore. They’re in this together, and they’d share the blame just as much as they shared each other.

He squeezes both hands to the side of Jane’s face and says, “I love you too, you crazy, crazy Soldier.”

It’s worth it to see the light flare up in Jane’s eyes, the dopey grin that springs to his face. “Well, then that makes you just as crazy as me.”

“Aye, I suppose it does.” He presses his forehead to Jane’s. “We’re already doing a spicy shimmy on what’s taboo and what isn’t. I suppose we shouldn’t give a damn what’s considered crazy.”

Jane’s face is so beautiful, the only shame being how long shouldn’t has kept that realization at bay. But Tavish quashes it, watching as a new question forms in Jane’s brow.

“I know I told you to sleep on it but,” Jane bites his lip. “Can I stay here? While you do that.”

Tavish likes Jane's warmth against him. He likes him here, where their atoms are pressing out against each other in the closest the universe can approximate as touch.

“Aye. Come here.”

They lay down on Tavish’s bed, and Jane rolls around until he’s nestled in Tavish’s arms. As their breathing slows, in sync then out of sync then back again, Jane says, “even if you weren’t freaking out, it’s a good thing you stopped us when you did. We don’t exactly have any condoms.”

Tavish’s jaw locks, and he quickly scoots his pelvis back a few inches. “You’re doing that on purpose,” he snarls into the nape flush with his nose.

“Maybe. I’m craaaaazy, remember.”

Tavish hates him, and loves him more in that moment than he ever has. If this is the night where he’s cut everything off, where he’s chosen this Soldier over the world’s approval, then so be it. He makes a little mental image of an ant, and steps down.