#dn 2am rambles 🤟

[grimalkinmessor]

You know, I think it's interesting that L claims that Light is his first friend. Like, what was that line for? Ohba said that it was a lie, yes, and I believe that to an extent—but also who was the lie for? L had to know at that point that Light was cruel and intelligent, meaning that even if he didn't figure it for a lie, it wouldn't soften him up either. Kira doesn't feel sentiment for anyone other than family.

But, even if that statement of Light being L's first friend wasn't a lie, I still think it's an interesting choice thematically.

Because even if Light is L's first friend, L isn't Light's.

Ryuk is.

I don't know, I just—there's something about the theme of friendship that connects intrinsically to that moment, that panel that encompasses all three of them, and I'm not sure if it was intentional or not.

Because Ryuk, and L and Light's friendship are pretty directly linked.

Before Light loses his memories, he has Ryuk. Ryuk, the first being he's ever been completely honest with, someone that follows him around all the time and plays around with him and doesn't expect much from him while also not patronizing him. Even if Light had been cripplingly lonely when the series started (which I believe he very much was), he wasn't alone anymore when he met L.

But L was. L has no one but Watari, and even then I'm not sure you could call their relationship friendly.

(Not that I would call Ryuk and Light traditional friends either...)

BUT! But, but, but, this is important—when Light loses his memory of the Death Note, he also loses Ryuk. He has no memory of him. Which means that whatever loneliness he'd been wrangling before the Death Note dropped comes rushing back in, taking up all the empty space again. It makes him more susceptible to L's "You Want To Be My Friend So Bad You Wanna Tell Me You're Kira So Bad" agenda, which is,,,,hilarious to me.

Because not only does Light fall for it; so does L. He falls for his own damn interrogation plot. Congrats idiot, you have a real friend now and both of you are going to regret it.

And this new line of friendship/camaraderie/understanding/affection doesn't go away even when Light's memories come back. It doesn't just vanish when he gets his hands on the notebook, and we know it doesn't, because he goes to get L when he's on the roof. He's cruel again but it's gentler than Pre-Confinement Kira's cruelty. And yeah, you could blame that on Light knowing L was going to die, but also—Light caught him when he fell. He made sure that he was standing close enough to catch L and hold him as he died. He could've just let him fall to the floor and die on the tile, cold and alone.

Light's fondness/friendship/affection/love (whatever you wanna call it) for L doesn't just up and vanish as soon as he's Kira again.

But it does when Ryuk comes back.

I don't know if it was intentional, but it's like Light's ties to Ryuk and L cannot exist at the same time. They can't exist in the same place. Light's first friend never gets to meet his last one.

I don't really have a point here. I just thought it was interesting 🖤