#dkdsjdsk ty for sending this !!

[boywiththcbread]

@faeryworlds sent: ❝ i don’t— i don’t know what’s happening. i don’t— ❞ - from Katniss.

from angst sentence starters. / status: always accepting !!

fingers tighten in blond locks as everything he was doing in the kitchen gets left sitting out in the open on the counter when the thunder roared for the third time, turning away from the food he was preparing and sliding down in the floor to cover his ears as back presses against the cabinets. his only way of consoling himself. rain pouring down hard, he can hear it beating the ceiling and the outside from the open kitchen window. wind blowing in mist, curtains waving backwards, he's stuck in a corner by himself while he's too busy dealing with the episode the simplest of thunder had caused to go shut the window. he has endured much worse when it came to ptsd rearing it's ugly head, it was just a little triggering when the sounds outside rolling over the roof and vibrating against the walls of the home set something off inside his head. it had been a long time since he even experienced an episode like this, a handful of months.

right when he thought he was never going to have one again it caught him off guard and of course... there's still damage to his brain coming to remind him he's not all the way normal and probably will never be again. seeing katniss's shoes step into the room, eyes briefly flicker up at her. it's one reminder of her presence while suffering an episode like this that causes abnormal agitation to soar through him all at once. "well, you're not very helpful." he scoffs, unexpectedly coming off cold and entirely out of character towards the brunette. it was eerily too much like how he used to get, all that time ago when he was freshly brainwashed to be katniss's enemy. "like always, katniss. unhelpful and just coming to make things worse." he spat with venom, turning into a different version of himself as brows pull into an angry crease then another rumble in the sky as lightning flickered outside and wind blew harder into the home.

as soon as he hears himself, the anger floods from his blue eyes. he has no idea what he's saying, why... WHY would he say that to her? feel these waves of rage spark through his brain when it comes to her? it tears him apart more than even the episode causes. he feels frustrated, but only because he wants rid of the way his brain is controlling him. he knows he would never want to be cruel towards her. "go away, katniss," he begs now, voice soft this time as he bends his knees and presses his forehead into them, covering his ears and fingers digging into his scalp as eyes squeeze shut. curling his fingers into his palms so he can dig his fingernails into his skin to make it hurt, when it hurts the pain anchors him. he's keeping himself anchored so he doesn't say more hurtful things or even try to hurt her, because who knows. he doesn't trust himself when he gets like this or really know what he's capable of when this change happens and cloudiness looms over his head like a dark space and resembles so much of the weather outside.