#dividedtask

[hunterhtml]

Time Capsule

Just gonna leave this here... #ripclubpenguin

[saderowland]

Time Capsule

Well, Degrassi has shown that I’m only good for one thing so I might as well show the rest of the world that too, right?

[playwrightmilligan-blog]

Time Capsule

For this time capsule, I will be giving future Degrassians something they will appreciate over time. None other than this beautiful photo of myself. It took a lot of thought considering that I am a beauty at this school and knew it would be a key way to showcase the creator of such a wonderful musical The Delinquents. Along with that, I am submitting a script of my musical for future use. I just hope that they will appreciate such a thing when they notice that I am eventually a famous director.

With lots of love,

Tristan Milligan

[cardinalgrce]

Time Capsule

This is fucking stupid.

Love,

Grace Cardinal

[goguthrie-blog]

Time Capsule

Here’s my lucky basketball that I practically used for every game... Guess I won’t be needing it anymore.

[santamatori]

✿ time capsule

This is my first ever crown I won at a beauty pageant when I was 11 years old. And it’s one of the last ones that I have left after someone came and destroyed all the rest. For a long time these things were like my life. All I cared about was getting a new one. But these days I don’t know if I feel so much like I fit the pageant mold anymore. Needless to say it’s been a pretty weird school year--a lot of drama, a lot of pain, a lot of learning. But that’s why I put this in here. For a girl in the future (with great taste) who’s still figuring it out for herself. Just know that you’re still a princess through it all. Never let your crown fall.

xoxo,

Victoria Rose Santamaria

[tinybellz-blog]

Time Capsule

Wassup.

If you’re reading this, then it’s 2037 and I’m either a pro QB, in jail, a chemist in a crime lab, or the aquatic version of the Crocodile Hunter where I save dolphins and fight sharks. I was gonna put a picture of me here, but by now I’m famous for something and I’m not gonna let you kids sell my picture on eBay. So, instead..you get this.

I was just a kid, and my dad took me to a Raptors game. They lost, but I ended up getting Vince Carter to sign a ball for me. I used to think it was lucky or something I needed to keep around. But in high school, you learn that you make your own luck. Maybe this can help some kid get lucky until they know it’s not the ball, it’s all you.

Signed,

-D Tiny B

[zxrivcs-blog]

1) Home/Family Life.

( though she loves her parents, she doesn’t like they way they treat her. She never wants to be like them, only caring about her kids when it could fuck things up for her. A part of her knows though, that if it does happen, it’s not her fault. )

DNA -  Lia Marie Johnson

I won't be, no I won't be like you  Fighting back, I'm fighting back the truth  Eyes like yours can look away  But you can't stop DNA  No you can't stop DNA.

( though her parents get along when it comes to things for Zoe she’s lucky if she doesn’t fall asleep to them yelling.)

Family Portrait- Pink

Can we work it out, can we be a family? I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything Can we work it out, can we be a family? I promise I'll be better, daddy please don't leave

2) Love Interest.

( When she was with KC, Zoe felt something she never had before for the boy, but tried her hardest to keep it to herself, scared he didn’t feel the same.)

I think I’m In Love- Kat Dahlia

They ask they bluffin' I keep you wondering Keep you hunting for my lovin' But I crave us hugging Yeah stay stubborn 'Cause I can't admit that you got all the strings And know just how tug 'em

( She was always trying to be strong after Her and KC broke up. She didn’t want to seem weak but, there were a lot of times she almost picked up the phone.)

One Song away- Casedee Pope

Late at night Can't go to sleep It's just me and the radio Every single melody Is wrecking me And I know I'm getting close To losing all control And picking up the phone

3) Self Esteem Views 

(Zoe doesn’t know who she is a lot of the time and there’s been more than once that she hasn’t liked herself. She knows she isn’t a good person, she just can’t help it.)

What a Catch Donnie- Fall Out Boy

I got troubled thoughts And the self-esteem to match What a catch, what a catch Whoa

( she’s trying her hardest to stay pieced together but between THe Princesses, KC and her family she’s sort of losing it.)

Undone- Haley Reinhart

I'm sorry, I'm really a mess right now I'm trying my best to get it together somehow I can't see this way, light up in this pain that you left me I'm unraveling, looking for things that'll never be

4) Enemy/ Dislike

(She doesn’t like any of the princesses, plane and simple, but lately she really hates Clare because she made her feel something.)

Hallucinations-  dvsn

Having hallucinations I'm losing sleep every night Keep trying to cover my eyes My eyes, yeah Is it my imagination? I think I'm losing my mind Still see your face all the time All the time

5) Anthem.

(  Both basically because Zoe Knows she’s a boss ass bitch.)

Primadonna - Marina and The DIamonds 

Primadonna girl, yeah All I ever wanted was the world I can't help but I need it all The primadonna life, the rise and fall You say that I'm kinda difficult But it's always someone else's fault Got you wrapped around my finger, babe You can count on me to misbehave

Run The World (girls) - beyonce.

Some of them men think they freak this Like we do, but no they don't Make your check, come at they neck Disrespect us, no they won't Boy, don't even try to touch this Boy, this beat is crazy This is how they made me

6) Friendship

(She feels this way about everyone in the posse, happy that she has somewhere to go.)

Thank you for being a friend- Golden girls Theme.

Thank you for being a friend Traveled down the road and back again Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant

[shayspowers]

1. Home/Family Life

You’ll Be in My Heart - Phil Collins

( Even though sometimes Shay can feel a bit trapped in her home since her parents are strict. She still feels that she can go to them with anything that she’s struggling with and they will help her. )

For one so small, You seem so strong My arms will hold you, Keep you safe and warm This bond between us Can't be broken I will be here Don't you cry'

Cause you'll be in my heart Yes, you'll be in my heart From this day on Now and forever more You'll be in my heart No matter what they say You'll be here in my heart Always

Home - Chris Daughtry

( Shay can always sneak out at night and feel like she’s going to stay out all night. But she can’t help but always go back home to where she knows she should be )

Well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old, So I'm going home. Well I'm going home. The miles are getting longer, it seems, The closer I get to you. I've not always been the best man or friend for you. But your love remains true. And I don't know why. You always seem to give me another try.

2. Friendship

( Shay’s best girl friend in the group would probably end up being Sadie. Just cause she talks/hangs out with her more. Though she wouldn’t change that for anything. )

I'm not ashamed to say I hope it always will stay this way My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And if you threw a party Invited everyone you knew You would see the biggest gift would be from me And the card attached would say

Lean On Me - Bill Withers 

( This is with Shay’s new friends with the wild ones. She feels as if they could definitely lean on her if they needed someone. )

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain We all have sorrow But if we are wise We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on For it won't be long 'Til I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on

3. Love Interest

Friends by Ed Sheeran

( Shay feels that her and Tiny basically have to keep their relationship of secret. Even the friendship. They’re not even together, but they always do things that most friends don’t. )

Friends just sleep in another bed, And friends don't treat me like you do. Well I know that there's a limit to everything, But my friends won't love me like you. No, my friends won't love me like you. We're not friends, we could be anything. If we try to keep those secrets safe. No one will find out if it all went wrong. They'll never know what we've been through.

4. Personal Anthem

Jet Black Heart - 5 Seconds of Summer

( Shay just loves this song, because it just hits home with her and she feels that most people can relate too it. )

'Cause I’ve got a jet black heart And there’s a hurricane underneath it Trying to keep us apart I write with a poison pen But these chemicals moving between us Are the reason to start again

Now I’m holding on for dear life There’s no way that we could rewind Maybe there’s nothing after midnight That could make you stay

5. Self-Esteem Views

The Reason by Hoobastank

( Shay’s always feeling like she has to be perfect. That she can’t do anything wrong. It’s one reason why she changed groups. She wanted a change from having to be perfect. )

I'm not a perfect person There's many thing I wish I didn't do But I continue learning I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new And the reason is you

6. Struggles/Challenges

Take What You Want - One Ok Rock ft 5SOS

( There are times where Shay just feels like people take advantage of her. That they take things from her and she can’t seem to ever be happy. )

Can you hear me? I'm tryna hear you Silence strikes like a hurricane I'm singing for you, you're screaming at me It's hard to see your tears in the pouring rain Take what you want, take what you want and go

7. Enemies

Enemy Fire - Bea Miller

( As of right now the athlete’s are kind of supposed to be her enemy. But she just can’t help to shake them from her life. Especially now that Tiny is an athlete. )

Who's a friend, who's an enemy 'Cause sometimes they look the same to me

But looks can be pleasing, yet so deceiving Sweet words from from a serpent's tongue It's like playing with a loaded gun Who knows what truth is How do you prove it I swear I see you watching me, well

Wolves by One Direction

( She feels like the athletes talk about her behind her back now. Shay feels that their wolves coming after her as a prey for switching groups. )

I keep on holding tight now Cause your body's telling me don't let go We're gonna be starting up trouble I know, I know, I know It's bringing my demons out More than ever, now Your beauty could start a war As you walk in the door

[princessxarlene]

1. Home/family life

I’m Ok - Christina Aguilera

( Arlene’s home life with her father was never about love. All she ever knew was that she’d come home and he’d be pissed about something and then she’d get hit. Her mother wouldn’t do a thing. She was always scared to go home the next day. )

Once upon a time there was a girl In her early years she had to learn How to grow up living in a war that she called home Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face Every time my father's fist would put her in her place Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room Hoping it would be over soon

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same And I still remember how you kept me so afraid Strength is my mother for all the love she gave Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

And I'm OK

2. Love Interest

All About Us - He is We

( This song definitely relates to Arlene’s crush on Campbell. She feels as if she’d have to take the first step into their relationship even when she’s just as nervous as he is. )

Take my hand I'll teach you to Dance I'll spin you around Won't let you fall down

Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet Give it a try It'll be alright

3. Friendship

You’re My Best Friend - Queen

( This song definitely describes Hunter and Arlene’s relationship. She’s been friends with him for so long and she couldn’t ask for anyone better. She loves him to death as friends of course. All she needs to get through in life is him. )

Ooh, you make me live Whatever this world can give to me It's you, you're all I see Ooh, you make me live now honey Ooh, you make me live You're the best friend That I ever had I've been with you such a long time You're my sunshine And I want you to know That my feelings are true I really love you You're my best friend

True Friend - Miley Cyrus

( Arlene had definitely made an unexpected friend in Lola. But one thing was for sure that she would do anything for the girl. )

We sign our cards and letters BFF You've got a million ways to make me laugh You're lookin' out for me; you've got my back It's so good to have you around You know the secrets I could never tell And when I'm quiet you break through my shell Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell Cause you keep my feet on the ground

Count On Me - Bruno Mars

( Arlene has just started to what she hopes become friends with the misfits. She’s hoping that they know they can count on her for things and also come to her if they ever need too. )

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I'll sail the world to find you If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see, I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of When we are called to help our friends in need

4. Enemy

Mean - Taylor Swift

( At first Arlene only dreamed about getting into the princesses. She was always trying to figure out a way to impress Clare, but in the end she made her choice. To try and get in with the misfits instead. She can’t wait for the day that one of the princesses may end up stuck in a rough situation and she’ll be the one who turns out successful and they’ll ever be is mean. )

You, with your words like knives And swords and weapons that you use against me You, have knocked me off my feet again, Got me feeling like a nothing You, with your voice like nails On a chalk board, calling me out when I'm wounded You, picking on the weaker man

You can take me down With just one single blow But you don't know what you don't know 5. Personal Anthem

Social Casualty - 5sos

( Arlene has gotten tired of people telling her how she should be and who she should be. She doesn’t want to be like everyone else. She wants to be her own person and she definitely feels like she’s accomplished that. )

Just a kid it's all the same Growing up it doesn't change Who are they to try and put us down? Had enough of what they say Sick and tired of all their games Stand up and sing it with me now

So save me from who I'm supposed to be Don't wanna be a victim of authority, I'll always be a part of the minority Save me from who I'm supposed to be So tell me tell me tell me what you want from me, I don't wanna be another social casualty (Social casualty)

6. Self-Esteem Views

Kill Em With Kindness by Selena Gomez

( Most of the time, Arlene doesn’t do Revenge. She’s not always nasty to people. She may have been a little bit when she was trying to get into the princesses, but she’s sort of turned a new leaf. Except for her feelings toward Clare of course. )

We’re running out of time Chasing our lies Everyday a small piece of you dies Always somebody You’re willing to fight, to be right

Your lies are bullets Your mouth's a gun And no war and anger Was ever won Put out the fire before igniting Next time you’re fighting

7. Struggles/Challenges

Concrete Angel by Martina McBride

( Not the whole song describes Arlene, but definitely most of it. Every day Arlene was afraid to go home to her father. Knowing exactly what would happen when she got there. She kept the bruises hidden for a long time, until one day she finally told Hunter everything. )

Through the wind and the rain She stands hard as a stone In her world that she can rise above But her dreams give her wings And she flies to a place where She's loved Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle Of the night The neighbors hear, but they turn Out the lights A fragile soul caught in the hands Of fate When morning comes It'll be too late

Warrior by Demi Lovato

( Although Arlene always struggled with her father’s raging anger, in the end it definitely made her stronger. The wounds still hurt, but after awhile she often didn’t think about the pain. She was always able to hide how she hurt.)

Now I'm a warrior Now I've got thicker skin I'm a warrior I'm stronger than I've ever been And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in I'm a warrior And you can never hurt me again Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar I've got shame, I've got scars That I will never show I'm a survivor In more ways than you know

[hunterhtml]

THE KIDS AREN’T ALRIGHT - FALL OUT BOY

♫ Fall to your knees, bring on the rapture Blessed be the boys time can't capture ♫

♫ And it's our time now if you want it to be Maul the world like a carnival bear set free ♫

This song describes all of the Hollingsworth siblings and they’re dysfunctional family/relationship. Their home life is never boring but it’s chaos and it’s been that way since they were little. Even though the three of them have their disputes, in the end, they’re always there for each other, even if they’re not exactly alright in the head.

OUT OF MY LEAGUE - FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS

♫ You were out of my league Got my heartbeat racing If I die don't wake me 'Cause you are more than just a dream ♫

This song is about Hunter’s feelings for Lola and how they’ve always been there but up until recently he never pursued them because he didn’t think he stood a chance with someone like her.

LOVE LOVE LOVE - OF MONSTERS AND MEN

♫ Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away Yeah, maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it Yeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad person Well, baby, I know ♫

This song represents the relationship between Hunter and Grace. He feels like he took her for granted but she shares those feelings as well. But even though they both are confused about what happened with their relationship, the love was real.

TEENAGERS - MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

♫ The boys and girls in the clique The awful names that they stick You're never gonna fit in much, kid But if you're troubled and hurt What you got under your shirt Will make them pay for the things that they did ♫

This song is about Hunter’s feelings towards Dallas and anyone else who joins in on the bullying. It’s come to a point where Hunter has gotten so fed up with the harassment that he considers drastic measures to ensure Dallas will leave him alone.

DOUBT - TWENTY ONE PILOTS

♫ Scared of my own image, scared of my own immaturity, Scared of my own ceiling, scared I'll die of uncertainty, Fear might be the death of me, fear leads to anxiety, Don't know what's inside of me ♫

This is Hunter’s personal anthem but it also shows his insecurities and fears which is something the boy doesn’t really talk about with anyone. So this lets you inside his mind.

IMMORTALS - FALL OUT BOY

♫ I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way. I'll be the watcher (watcher) of the eternal flame. I'll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams ♫

This song describes Hunter’s personality. It ties into the Misfit, Outsider traits about him being considered bad in society.

THIS IS THE FIRST THING - YOU ME AT SIX

♫ This is the first thing I thought This is the last thing that I want You were the first one I loved You were the first love I lost ♫

This is another Grace/Hunter song because I’m emotional okay.

EMPTY GOLD - HALSEY

♫ We're the underdogs in this world alone I'm a believer, got a fever running through my bones. We're the alley cats and they can throw their stones They can break our hearts, they won't take our souls ♫

This song is all about the Misfits and what they represent as a clique.

WALKING DISASTER - SUM 41

♫ You'll never know what I've become, the king of all that's said and done. The forgotten son, This city's buried in defeat, I walk along these no name streets, Wave goodbye to all, as I fall... ♫

This is a song that describes Hunter’s feelings when it comes to how his parents view him. Between Frankie and Miles, Hunter doesn’t feel very important and that he could be easily forgotten.

[saderowland]

NOBODY’S HOME - AVRIL LAVIGNE

♫ She wants to go home, but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes, Broken inside ♫ 

This song describes Sadie’s feelings about being in foster care. She’s desperate to find a home for herself and a place where she belongs but she simply can’t and that destroys her.  

TEMPORARY HOME - CARRIE UNDERWOOD

♫ This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong Windows and rooms that I'm passing through ♫

This is another song about Sadie’s home life.

OUT OF MIND - TOVE LO

♫ Lovers, into friends Move on, to strangers Let go, no more us Move on, I'm trying ♫

This song is about Sadie’s feelings for Drew and basically how they’re still lingering since she never got closure from what they had.

I WANT HER - BLIND TRUTH FT. GEORGIA HARRIS

♫ Don't wanna be a good girl  'Cause I am so in love with her I want to watch those swinging hips I want to taste those ruby lips ♫ 

This song is about Sadie’s feelings for Vanessa. Unexpected but yet she surrenders herself to those feelings.

I DON’T WANT TO BE - GAVIN DEGRAW

♫ I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn ♫

Sadie has always unapologetically been who she is. She’s never tried to change herself, despite what others may think of her. This song is about her thoughts towards the ones who have tried break her and mold her into something she wasn’t -- the Princesses and the Athletes.

MOMENTS - TOVE LO

♫ I'm not the prettiest you've ever seen But I have my moments, I have my moments Not the flawless one, I've never been But I have my moments, I have my moments I can get a little drunk, I get into all the don'ts But on good days I am charming as fuck ♫

This is Sadie’s personal anthem; it’s literally her in a nutshell.

HURRICANE - HALSEY

♫ I'm a wanderess I'm a one night stand Don't belong to no city Don't belong to no man ♫

This is also an anthem for Sadie. However, I feel this one more-so reflects on how confident she is with her sexuality and the fact that she will never allow herself to belong to anyone.

WE CAN’T STOP - MILEY CYRUS

♫ It's our party we can do what we want to It's our house we can love who we want to It's our song we can sing if we want to It's my mouth I can say what I want to ♫ 

This song is all about the Wild Ones and the attitudes of each member. Sadie knows that even though they all party together, they also will always have each other’s backs.

SECOND CHANCE - SHINEDOWN

♫ Tell my mother, Tell my father I've done the best I can To make them realize This is my life I hope they understand ♫

This song represents the struggles that Sadie faced when she first started running away from her parent’s house. It also relates to how she continues to have the urges of running away now that she’s in foster care.

[fcknfrankiehollings]

Frankie’s Headcanons

1. Over the summer, Frankie gradually broke the news to each of her friends that she’d regained her memory. While most everyone seemed happy to hear the news, a few of her friendships soon drifted afterwards and nothing ever really was the same as it once had been.

2. Having the confusing task of accepting both what she’d experienced before the accident and what she’d experienced after, Frankie was undeniably a new person. She took a long, hard look at what her life had been like as a Wild One and after some thinking, she decided it wasn’t what she wanted her life to be like anymore.

3. Though Frankie has left the Wild Ones, she harbors no hard feelings towards any of them. She still views them as her old friends, and she doesn’t want them to dislike her just because she decided to change her ways.

4. While Frankie was trying to figure out where to go from her departure from the Wild Ones, Becky took a particular interest in her. The two girls had spent some quality time together during Frankie’s period of amnesia, but Becky seemed to want to keep the friendship strong even afterwards. 

5. When Becky proposed to Frankie that she wanted to help her become a Princess, Frankie jumped at the opportunity. Even though she used to think horribly of them, she reminded herself that things would be different now that Katie was gone, and it would be a chance for her to better herself and give her life purpose again.

6. Although Frankie loved spending time with Becky, Zoe, Clare, and Alli, she never really felt that she could completely let her guard down with them just yet. However, when Lola showed up one day to tell Frankie that she’d joined a new group, the girls found themselves in a heart-to-heart about their personal lives as well as similar interests. Since then, the two have been best friends, turning to each other whenever they feel that they have no one else to talk to.

7. Despite her tumultuous social life, Frankie’s relationship with Zig is the one thing that she feels completely stable with. She wouldn’t trade it for anything, which is why she does her absolute best to make sure none of the Princesses find out. Having to choose between the two would quite definitely tear her apart.

8. After discovering her past with Zoe once Frankie regained her memory, Frankie has been increasingly wary of the girl. The two have maintained a very shallow friendship mainly based upon shopping together and gossiping, yet Frankie doesn’t feel that she can trust Zoe. With Zoe in the Posse and being one of Clare’s rivals, Frankie isn’t sure whether it’s worth it to keep the friendship going.

9. Deep down, Frankie knows that the Princesses aren’t the nicest people, but she’s in denial of this fact due to her intense desire to maintain her social status. She feels that it’s part of her duty to keep her grades up and appear to be improving her lifestyle, especially due to everyone’s prior judgment of her from being a Wild One.

10. Although her brothers are both in rival social groups, Frankie would go to extra lengths to make sure neither of them are hurt in any way. Though she questions their behavior and decisions once in a while, she doesn’t like anyone else speaking badly of them.

[cardinalgrce]

I. Sex, Drugs, Etc - Beach Weather

Bulletproof passengers // On the road to sex, drugs, etc // Get out the dark and into the light // Everywhere I go I know that I don't want to be // Part of something I won't ever need; // Your socialized, romanticized life // Floating on my low key vibe // Floating on my low key vibe, vibe, vibe // I don't need that late night high // I'm floating on my vibe // Vibe, vibe, vibe, vibe, vibe //

Grace has never been one who needed attention, nor has she ever felt a need for people to always be surrounding her. She’s not a wild one for a very good reason. She’d rather stay at home, spend time with one or two friends, she doesn’t need that highly sought after life teens so desperately crave. She’s happy with staying low key and comfortable.

II. Not Afraid Anymore - Halsey

You better impress now // watching my dress now fall to the floor // Crawling underneath my skin // sweet talk with a hint of sin // Begging you to take me // Devil underneath your grin, sweet thing, but she play to win, heaven gonna hate me // And touch me like you never // And push me like you never // And touch me like you never // 'Cause I am not afraid, I am not afraid anymore //

More and more lately, Grace has been growing so tired of her same old routine. She always plays things so safe, she never fights, never pushes things farther than they should go. It’s growing old. She’s going to die before every one of her friends, she needs to get started now and do everything before her last day. And she wants to do those things with the people who mean most to her.

III. Just Stay - Skyler Day

if you were to leave here // to go find your heart // chasing an old life // far away from my arms // if she's what you want // if there's still a flame // if you need to find out // i won't stand in your way // but if you want // you could just stay forever // you and i together // and no one // no one would love you better // than I will //

Grace let Hunter walk away from her, she made it easy for him to leave and go off into another girl’s arms, and she’s accepted that mistake she made. She wants him to be happy, and if he’s happy with another, that’s another thing she has to accept. But in her heart she knows, she could be better for him, and that to some capacity, she’s just waiting for him to realize that and come back to her.

IV. Bedroom Window - The Pretty Reckless

As I look out of my bedroom window // Is it all real or just fantasy? // I have lost touch with what makes me human // I have lost touch with reality // It's all too much for me // All too much for me //

As Grace continues to keep her illness a secret from everyone, her world away from home is starting to feel more and more false. No one knows the time she’s spent in the hospital, or the nights she spent curled up with her mother as she did her treatments, begging her lungs to just keep working. Nothing outside of her illness feels real anymore and all that feels real is her imminent death.

V. The Strays - Sleeping With Sirens

My whole life they said I'd be nothing // Well I'm something // And I would rather be the stray // Than be nothing to no one at all // Hubcaps and ashtrays // I was born but wasn't raised // Hold on, don't look back // You know we're better we're better than that // Lost and thrown away // You know we're better we're better than that // Cause we are the strays //

Grace always belonged with the outsiders. She was born one of them and will always be one of them. She’s been pushed aside, made fun of for being different, and thrown away her entire life. But she found a place amongst her friends that she renamed the misfits. They are the strays of the world, come together because they know they must mean something to someone.

VI. Here - Alessia Cara

Excuse me if I seem a little unimpressed with this // An anti-social pessimist but usually I don't mess with this // And I know you mean only the best and // Your intentions aren't to bother me // But honestly I'd rather be // Somewhere with my people we can kick it and just listen // To some music with the message (like we usually do) // And we'll discuss our big dreams // How we plan to take over the planet // So pardon my manners, I hope you'll understand it // That I'll be here // Not there in the kitchen with the girl // Who's always gossiping about her friends // So tell them I'll be here // Right next to the boy who's throwing up 'cause // He can't take what's in his cup no more // Oh God why am I here? //

It’s pretty obvious why Grace was never even considered by the wild ones- she doesn’t party. She’s never enjoyed parties, partly because she can’t drink while on her CF meds, but also because it’s all so unnecessary to her. The music is too loud. It’s always too crowd. Everyone is usually sweaty. People get too messy. Drama is almost inevitable. She hates to dance. Parties are just not her scene and when she does go, she questions why she’s even there in the first place the entire time.

VII. Sick in the Head - The Lumineers

People say I'm no good // Write me off, oh yes they should // Fuck 'em they're just sick in the head // They're writing my history // Think somebody should've asked me // Everyone was safe in their beds // Their beds // And I said // I won't live, won't live like them // Everyone, they're all seeing red // I don't know // If it's alright with you, but I'll be gone // A ghost will be here in my stead, my stead // And I said // I can't live life underneath it all // Everyone is older now and gone // I will not be here forever dear // So let's just make this count a lot in here //

Grace has always felt like her CF has controlled her. The doctors, her mom, they’re all telling her how her life is going to go. She knows she’ll be gone someday, probably before her own mother, but she won’t let others write her life. She’ll write each page herself, and hopefully make them count.

VIII. Drown - Bring Me The Horizon

What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead // Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper // And I can't take one more moment of this silence // The loneliness is haunting me // And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up // It comes in waves, I close my eyes // Hold my breath and let it bury me // I'm not okay, and it's not alright // Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again? // Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down? // Save me from myself, don't let me drown // Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? // Save me from myself, don't let me drown //

It was easier before- before she had friends, before there were people who meant so much to her, before she had felt love- but things are so different now. Grace wants her friends to know what she’s going through, but she knows it’s all for selfish reasons. She wants people to help her, support her, be there for her through her fight with CF. She hates being so alone in it all, she can’t do it on her own any more. Her mom can’t be the only person trying to save her from her inevitable drowning.

IX. Human - Christina Perri

I can hold the weight of worlds // If that's what you need // Be your everything // I can do it // I can do it // I'll get through it // But I'm only human // And I bleed when I fall down // I'm only human // And I crash and I break down // Your words in my head, knives in my heart // You build me up and then I fall apart // Cause I'm only human //

Grace hates the fact the everyone thinks she’s heartless or emotionless just because she chooses not to show her emotions or express her feelings. She wishes people could see she’s a human just like them and her feelings get hurt and she feels things deeply. She has a heart and she simply chooses to protect it fiercely, but that doesn’t mean she posses no feelings or emotions, she’s just not sure how to get her friends to see that.

X. Oh Death - R.I.S.E.

Oh, Death, how you're treating me // You close my eyes so I can't see // Hurting my body, you make me cold // You run my life right out of my soul // Oh, Death Oh, Death // Won't you spare me over for another year? //

Since she can remember, Grace has been looking death right in the face. It was never something she took lightly; death. It’s serious. It’s dark. And it haunts her every move. Some days, she’s accepted death more than others. But some days, she begs death, please don’t let my next breath be my last.

XI. Reaper - SIA

So come back when I'm good and old // I got drinks to drink, and men to hold // I got good things to do with my life, yeah // Oh, I wanna dance in the open breeze // Feel the wind in my hair, hear the ocean sing // I got good things to feel in my life, yeah // Don't come for me today // I'm feeling good, let me savour it // Don't come for me today // I'm feeling good, I remember when // You came to take me away // So close I was to heaven's gates // But, no, baby, no, baby, not today // Oh, you tried to track me down // You followed me like the darkest cloud // But, no, baby, no, baby, not today //

There are some days when Grace just wants it to be the end for her already. She’s suffered enough, her mom has suffered with her for long enough. But then she remembers all the things she hasn’t done, all the things she wants to do before the end, and she knows its not her time. Not just yet.

XII. She Used To Be Mine - Sara Bareilles

She's imperfect but she tries // She is good but she lies // She is hard on herself // She is broken and won't ask for help // She is messy but she's kind // She is lonely most of the time // She is all of this mixed up // And baked in a beautiful pie // She is gone but she used to be mine //

Grace feels like she’s lost herself. Her fight with CF. Her journey with death by her side. Meeting the misfits and making her first real friends. Doing everything for them. Never thinking of herself. Falling for Hunter so unexpectedly. Losing him before she had a chance to explore with him. Through all of this, she’s lost who she used to be. She’s empty, and she’s just searching for some thing to make her feel whole again.

[jennamariemid-blog]

Jenna Headcanons

About Jenna;

Jenna’s always wondered what it would be like if her mom never got cancer and was still alive. She often wonders if her dad wouldn’t have turned to alcohol and what her life would be like with her parents.

Being the youngest of five children, she learned how to defend herself from guys very quickly. One of her last memories of her brother Grayson before he took off was making sure that she knew how to defend herself against creeps. She loved spending an entire day with her brother and cried when it was over because she knew what it meant--that he was leaving for good, just like Wyatt and Deacon before him.

She’s been spiraling downwards ever since she witnessed her friend David die. She can’t get the images out of her head, and she’s been drinking, partying, and sleeping around to try to get them to go away, as well as the feeling of guilt that she’s feeling over it.

Jenna works at the Canadian equivalent of Hooters (or somewhere like it) and she hates it, but it’s good money. Working there makes her feel dirty, but ever since Kyle left she’s been desperate for money, not that she’ll ever say it to anyone.

She rents out a room in a boarding house type situation--she has her own room but there’s a communal bathroom and kitchen and dining area. She doesn’t use it much, though.

When she was in fourth grade a teacher told her that she was dumb and never going to amount to anything other than a pretty face which is why she sees no good in school. It’s all a waste of time for her. She doesn’t believe that she could ever be something.

Sometimes she fears shes turning into her father with all of her drinking and drug use.

Jenna misses her brothers and wishes they would call, but they never do, and she lost their phone numbers years ago. 

Jenna frequently blames herself for everything that’s gone wrong in her life.

She isn’t afraid of using drugs, and lately has been doing more than she did before. It scares her but she doesn’t know where else to go or who to ask for help. She doesn’t think that there’s anyone that would want to help her.

Clique;

Jenna loves the wild ones. They became her family when everything was going wrong in her life, and they’ve always been there for her no matter what.

It’s been hard for her to let Dallas and Luke go. Arguably she hasn’t actually let either of them go, she’s just good at pretending.

Sometimes she fears that it’s not going to be the same now that Luke, Dallas, and Frankie are gone. She doesn’t want to admit it to anyone though, because that would make it real.

Connections;

When Frankie was in her car accident and lost her memories, she tried to help her get them back, but when she decided to try to be a Princess, Jenna had to take a step back because it hurt too much to see it happen.

Jenna sometimes feels bad for blowing Lola off this summer, but it was her way of protecting her. She didn’t think that Lola should see her at her lowest point--it would scare her away and make her see what a wreck Jenna was and then she wouldn’t want to be around her anymore.

Jenna’s feelings towards Luke are complicated; the two of them became wild ones together, and they always felt a draw towards one another. At one point, they slept together and Jenna thought that maybe there was more to it than just sex. But then they didn’t talk about it and Jenna’s feeling okay with their current...relationship. Jenna wouldn’t call it a friendship, so she’s not entirely sure what it is.

Sadie is her best friend--the two of them just get each other because they come from crappy home’s and they both love to party and have fun. She trusts Sadie with everything, although she has never actually told her about David and what she’s been going through.

[santamatori]

♫ Tori’s Music Mix -- “Now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a fucking dream I’m living in”

Daughters- John Mayer

♫ Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will l o v e  like you do. girls become lovers who turn into mothers so mothers be good to you daughter too” 

This song describes Tori’s general feelings toward her birth parents. Though she’s been able to live her life despite their mistakes she will forever be haunted by their neglect and inability to love and care for her. 

Pretty Girl Rock- Keri Hilson

♫ All eyes on me when I walk on no  q u e s t i o n  that this girl’s a ten, don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful”

It’s no secret to anyone that knows her that Tori is a very confident girl. However much of her self-worth and validation comes from her appearance and being in the pageant world has only made it worse. Beauty treatments are her therapy. And she puts extra effort into making sure she looks her best at all times.

Eyes On Fire- Blue Foundation

♫ I’m not scared of your  s t o l e n  power–see right through you any hour”

Her temper is something that Tori had worked years to get rid of, and she’s come a long way from being the sixth-grade bully, but there are those certain people that still manage to grind her gears. This song describes Tori’s feelings toward the Princesses, their bratty, selfish attitudes, and the takedown she hopes will eventually ensue.

Never Let Me Go- Florence + The Machine

♫ And the arms of the ocean are carrying me. And all this d e v o t i o n was rushing out of me. And the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me”

This song describes the intensity that colored her relationship with Luke Baker and the devotion she feels even through the constant rise and fall that they experience. 

Carmen- Lana Del Rey

♫ The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen she gives them  b u t t e r f l i e s, bats her cartoon eyes she laughs like God, her mind’s like a diamond

Tori has a charming personality and an exterior that would fool most people into believing she has it all together. However, her pretty face masks a lot of darkness and inner turmoil that she can’t even bring herself to face.

Turn Our Eyes Away- Trent Dabbs

♫ Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes a w a y --leaning on the hope that one day even we will be saved”

Tori has difficult times facing her problems head on, and even expressing things that are bothering her from time to time. This song describes her inability to deal with her issues but rather to distract herself or turn her attention to something completely irrelevant instead.

Video Games- Lana Del Rey

♫ Better than I ever even knew, they say that the world is built for two, only worth living if somebody is  l o v i n g  you

This song describes Tori’s hopeless romantic spirit. From a young age she’d always been a girl infatuated with the idea of love and everything that had to do with it.

Clique- Big Sean

♫ Ain’t nobody  f u c k i n g with my clique”

Tori’s relationships with her fellow posse members are some of the most important ones in the world to her and she’s genuinely proud to be surrounded by like minded people.

 You Don’t Own Me- Grace

♫ You don’t  o w n  me, I’m not one of your many toys”

Tori’s headstrong and stubborn nature is told by this song. One of her largest pet peeves is feeling like someone is trying to restrict her or tell her what to do.