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sahkuna · 1 month ago

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TO YOU SOMEDAY — GOJO SATORU

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

synopsis: time makes the heart grow fonder... you think. from your early childhood years to navigating life as adults, there are key moments that gojo satoru holds near and dear. there are so many things he wants and hopes to say to you, someday. but for now, the memories and things he keeps will suffice.

series content warning(s): afab reader, 18+ so mdni, modern au/canon divergence, childhood friends, frienemies to lovers, slow-ish burn, flashback(s) used a lil to drive plot, fluff & domestic fluff, pining, small angst if you squint sorry, eventual smut/smut → resolved sexual tension, #MMC BEING SO IN 🤍 WITH FMC IT'S PATHETIC (WE ALL CHEERED).

word count: 3k :3 | series masterlist

THEN

You were about eight years old on the wet, gloomy April morning you first met him.

His arrival was unexpected, especially considering he entered the school year about two weeks after it had started.

“Everyone,” your third-grade teacher, Ms. Ayase, stood at the front of the classroom with her hands clasped together. Beside her was a child, a boy, no taller than the middle half of her torso. “Today we have a new student joining our class!”

This news sparked excited whispers and chatter that floated through the rows of desks and chairs in the room. You sat a little taller in your seat, your eyes zeroed in on the new kid who stood motionless beside your teacher.

Ms. Ayase thumped her palm loudly against the chalkboard— twice, then three times— to regain her class’s attention. Pleased once everyone had fallen silent, she opened her mouth to speak again. “I’d like you all to meet Gojo. Gojo Satoru.”

Young, curious eyes around the room took turns peeking at their new classmate with prolonged stares. Sharp blue eyes matched their curiosity with an uninterested gaze. His little fists jammed tight into his pockets as he stared straight toward the back of the room as if he’d rather be elsewhere.

“I trust that you all will make him feel welcome today and going forward,” Ms. Ayase continued.

You’d seen most kids cry and buckle under the sudden weight of attention thrown onto them while being introduced to 20-something pairs of eyes staring right back at them. In contrast, other kids basked in the spotlight with glee, quick to spew fun facts about themselves or whatever cool interests they were dying to share with the class.

But this kid? Gojo?

He didn’t even crack the smallest of smiles. Not even when your fellow classmate and friend, Momo, waved a cheerful hand at him.

For a split second, large, bright blue eyes landed on you and settled there for a fleeting moment before he shifted his attention away.

The harsh, bright light from the class’s luminescent bulbs glinted against the rims of Ms. Ayase’s red rectangular glasses when she glanced down at her new student. “We’re having one of our custodians bring you a new desk, Gojo. So for the time being I’ll have you sit tight right next to…”

Your teacher’s warm brown eyes scanned the room of third graders as many enthusiastic arms shot up in the air paired with piercing “Me!”s and “Choose me!”s chorused all around you.

You felt relieved when you saw everyone throwing their hat into the ring to have Gojo Satoru sit beside them because now you wouldn’t have to worry about making small talk, especially with a boy.

Content with the many options Ms. Ayase now had to choose from, you drifted your attention outside the window toward the school campus courtyard. With all the commotion now drowned out, you took the time to ponder about what games you’d play with your friends during the next recess.

Seconds slipped by with you lost in your thoughts, oblivious to how classmates' antics had stopped and the sudden hush that blanketed the classroom. It was so unnatural and it dawned on you that Ms. Ayase must have already made her choice. So, when you snap your focus back to the front of the room, you’re jolted at the fact that everyone is now looking at you.

It took a moment for reality to sink in that your teacher had called your name until she repeated it, shaking you from your daze. A few more students turned in their seats and cast mixed looks of envy and surprise.

Out of everyone who had raised their hands, of course, she had to have chosen you to be Gojo’s temporary seatmate. Of. Course.

“Huh?” you squawked in bewilderment, taken aback by her impromptu choice. “Me!?” Suddenly nervous under the scrutiny of your classmates, you shrunk into your seat in a weak attempt to lessen the heat of their stares.

Judging by the looks of it, he doesn’t look all too thrilled about her decision either. As if he were sizing you up, Gojo gives you a jaded once-over before hauling his navy blue backpack from the floor with a quipped, “Sure.”

Fortunately enough for Ms. Ayase, your desk wasn’t far from the front, so it took her only a minute or so to take an extra chair from the corner of her room and drag it aaall the way over to you.

Once at your desk, she plopped the chair beside you with a resounding thud. She flapped her hand a few times as if to signal you to scooch over and make some room. So, you did. And not far behind her, Gojo walked over to your desk and dropped into the chair next to you, without sparing you a glance.

Great!

You hadn’t even spoken a word to the boy and he was already giving you the cold shoulder.

Either oblivious to Gojo’s distant nature or blatantly choosing to overlook it, Ms. Ayase—pleased with her seating arrangements—gave you an approving nod before she walked back to the front of the classroom to begin her lesson.

Amid her teaching, you couldn’t help but sneak glances at Gojo inconspicuously. He was an odd case, and you wanted to take a crack at breaking down his stony exterior. You don’t mind being the first to extend an olive branch to kickstart the beginning of a hopefully new friendship.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper so you wouldn’t disturb the flow of other students who tried to learn. First-day jitters get the best of everyone and you had wanted to give this Gojo Satoru kid a chance to at least be acquainted with you before you start to form your own opinions on him.

You were doing a good thing. You were being a friend, a great one at that. That’s what any new transfer would want on their first day at a new school, right?

Well...

It came as a shock to you that upon hearing your voice, you caught how Gojo’s gaze slowly shifted from his scattered notes and childish cartoon-like sketches to forcefully land on you as if you were doing him a disservice at trying to be friendly.

The kind smile that had graced your lips before his unrelenting stare now turned sour and awkward.

His expression wasn’t mean, but it certainly wasn’t friendly either. Just… blank. And the more he stared, surveying you, probably looking down on you and your attempts to befriend him, the more annoyed you became.

Yeah, never mind.

What was his damage?!

Never have you ever met a child so strange.

With your lips twisted into a faint sneer and your brows bunched tightly together, you exhaled a vexed hmph at Gojo’s less-than-pleasant attitude and shot your eyes back to Ms. Ayase— who was now scribbling a bunch of numbers and diagrams onto the blackboard. You even shunt your seat a few spaces away from him to show your disfavour.

You simply concluded that getting to know let alone, befriending Gojo Satoru may not be in the cards for you… ever.

Every day you thanked your lucky stars for the handy dandy custodian, Mr. Taro, who had fast-tracked the delivery of your sworn enemy’s (which was one-sided) desk within the next few days after his arrival.

You no longer had to worry yourself sick every morning on the walk to school about brushing shoulders and sharing textbooks with your classmate, Gojo Satoru.

That had been a whole five months ago, though, and you now only had a week left of your summer break before your second semester would begin. Since the very first day you met him, you’ve watched Gojo grow into the role of your class’s star student.

He was everyone’s first choice for P.E. if there were teams for the games you’d play, and he was invited to everyone’s birthday party. Anyone who managed to prompt a conversation that lasted more than a few minutes with Gojo was determined to be one of the lucky ones. It was a known fact that everyone at school wanted to be his friend.

Well… almost everyone.

Tired of swinging on the swings, you launched yourself off the play set and into a pile of woodchips that cushioned the land onto your feet. The sun crept lower on the horizon, painting the sky with warm oranges and blues. You remembered your mom having told you that you were expected to come home before dinner.

Your buddy, Momo, had walked home from the neighbourhood park long before you, and seeing that you had nothing else to do, you decided to start your short trek home.

“Time to go,” you said to no one in particular. You walked over to your bag that was thrown haphazardly on one of the picnic tables and swung it over to slink your arms through each strap.

Unbeknownst to you, you must’ve forgotten to zip up your backpack completely earlier, prompting most of your bag’s contents to spill across the pavement.

You grunted in aggravation. “Jeez,” you growled to yourself, as you scooped up the scattered pencils and trading cards you had packed into your hands in a crabby fashion. There must’ve been at least 15 of these cards that you needed to gather.

After spending maybe a good two minutes picking up your things and wiping the dirt off them, right as you reached for your last trading card a huge gust of wind accosted you and blew the cards up and into the air.

“Hey!” you exclaimed in shock. With great dread and an air of urgency, you shoved the rest of your belongings into your bag and chased after your runaway card.

You yelled and hollered down the sidewalks of your quiet neighbourhood thankful for the most part that it was vacant. God forbid if someone you knew from school saw you running and screaming bloody murder over a damn trading card. “Stop!”

This was the kind of chase scene you’d seen play out in a children’s TV show with the obnoxious laugh track faintly playing in the back. To say you were mortified at your predicament would be an understatement.

The card having a mind of its own took a sharp turn around a corner, and you not far behind followed it. Unfortunately, unaware that there could be another being behind that very corner, your sharp turn wound you to bump into someone’s back. Hard.

You let out an audible oomph right as you tumbled onto the ground.

Well, there goes one of your most prized possessions. You knew it was a bad idea to bring your high-ranking cards to the park, but nooo, Momo wanted to see them before her family trip to Hakone before school started.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

You groaned and swiped a frustrated hand against your eyes as that nipping, uncomfortable feeling that you just lost your favourite card.

Do not cry. You scolded yourself, as you pressed your fist harder against your eyes as the familiar heat of tears began to prick at your waterline. Not over a card. Especially in front of a stranger.

Reminded that you had company, you quickly rose to your feet again and dusted yourself off as if nothing had happened. “Sorry,” you said with your head down.

You sidestepped around the person, ready to make your dejected walk home with now 14 cards in tow.

Things couldn’t have gotten any worse is what you thought until you heard the “stranger” behind you make their presence known.

“You like Digimon?”

Oh God.

When you turned to see your worst-case scenario personified, there in his hand, was your only Skullgreymon Digimon collector’s edition card in all its glory.

You’re half happy— because your card managed to be saved— and half-mortified— because your card managed to be saved by public enemy number one, Gojo Satoru.

Immediately, you decided to skip the formalities and extended your arm to snatch your card away from your hero-turned-villain. But you’re not quick enough.

“You like Digimon?” Gojo repeated, this time with more volume in his voice. The hand that held your dear Skullgreymon swivelled behind his back to keep it far from your range.

This was the most you’ve heard him speak (to you, that is). You tried not to let the wonderment of this event cloud over the fact that Gojo had something that belonged to you and kept you from taking it.

“Yes,” you grunted and took one step forward in an attempt to grab your card again to no avail. “I do.”

Gojo blinked at you, his snowy white lashes fluttered with thoughtful consideration. When Gojo isn’t giving you blank stares or expressions that practically screamed he was judging you, you think he could be quite nice. You think.

“Me too,” he finally said.

“... Okay.” Was all you said, because what else is there to say!?

Gauging that Gojo was in no hurry to give you back Skullgreymon anytime soon, your arm fell limp at your side and you huffed in defeat.

You expected him to follow his confession with something else, but instead, the two of you stood on the side of the sidewalk in silence. This went on far longer than you would have liked for it to have gone.

Gojo’s blue eyes bore into your soul with a look of expectation that stretched across his features, as he thumbed the back of your sparkly card behind him.

Your gaze diverted away from him and glanced at the slow start of a darkening sky, which was your indicator that you really needed to get home soon. But you’d be damned if you left without your limited edition Skullgreymon card!

Chancing a glimpse back at Gojo, his face is unreadable and serious in all its intensity. His eyebrows that you were so used to seeing in straight impassive lines were now creased tight with confusion and… annoyance?

That’s when it struck you that he was waiting for you to say something. So now he wanted you to extend the olive branch? Funny! Hilarious, even!

No shot.

You snorted and answered his unspoken open invitation and question to play with a curt shake of your head. “Give me back my—”

“I don’t have any training lessons with my tutor tomorrow,” Gojo replied, cutting you off. You watched with horror as he tucked your card into the front pocket of his black khakis. He even placed his hands into them to intercede any chance of you swiping it back from him. “Bring more of your cards here in the afternoon and I’ll show you some of mine.”

Without even bothering to wait for your response, let alone agreement, Gojo Satoru turned on his heel and walked his merry self home.

And that very next day you waited at the park, just like he had ordered you to do, brewed to the brim with indignation that Gojo managed to swindle you into leaving your house to meet/play/...whatever it was that he wanted to see you for… with him.

Arms crossed tightly against your chest as you pressed yourself against the swingset beam, you waited for Gojo to make his arrival. Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait long.

“You’re here.”

Behind you, you spotted Gojo. Today he wore a different set of khakis, all-too-expensive sneakers that were not park material and… a dark blue Digimon tee. Stowed between his arm and side, he carried a black binder, probably decked out with all his Digimon cards.

Just as he had said.

Oh.

There’s a creeping sensation of guilt that bullies your conscience. Maybe you were a tad bit mean yesterday in not being open to meeting up with Gojo because today it seemed like he wanted to make a fair impression on you.

Maybe today would be the one shot for you guys to get to know each other better.

Noticing your silence that drawled on for too long, you quickly countered with a clipped, “Of course I am!” You nodded your chin at him. “You stole my card!”

You thought you spotted a ghost of a smile dancing across his lips, but it disappeared as quickly as you must have imagined it.

Gojo flung his binder—you swallowed the urge to tell him to be careful— and sat on the ground.

When you hadn’t immediately followed his lead, Gojo looked up at you incredulously. “Aren’t you going to sit?”

So, you do.

You would have been silly to pass up the rare opportunity of talking to Gojo like a normal human being rather than sworn enemies (once again, one-sided on your part).

From that day onward, there was a miraculous shift in the way you interact with your classmates. The shell of the bratty, blunt, and sometimes abrasive nature of Gojo Satoru you once knew him to have was no more.

After summer break when school was back and in session, when Ms. Ayase revealed the new seating chart for the classroom and you discovered you’d only be a desk away from Gojo, you caught the white tuft of his hair whirl to find across the class before he shot you a thumbs up.

But it didn’t stop there.

No longer did Gojo roll his eyes when you were picked to be on the same team as him during P.E. Instead, if he were captain for one of the games, much to the class’s (and your) surprise, you were almost always chosen first.

He also intruded on the many recess sessions you’d have to play with your friends to urge you to ditch them and start a match of DCG with him.

This spurred you to learn that Gojo had a grand fixation and bountiful admiration for Digimon— he was (and still) is a class-A nerd when it comes to all things in the Digimon franchise, more so than you.

Things had changed from where it all started in April of 1997. Gojo had changed, and you’d like to say you had to.

Satoru never wound up giving you that card back. But you no longer seemed to care about that, nor his antics.

Not anymore.

OKAYYYY SHE (me) FINALLY DELIVERED. thank you for reading until the end! if you liked it, please yell at me about it will yell (/pos) right back <333 I HOPE YOU GUYS WILL STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT PARTS OF THIS MINI-SERIES! as it will come soon :) until then DUECES STINKIES!

*EDIT: you know, i think this will be more so a prologue/chapter "0" rather than it being chapter 1...? this is just the bones of this series. nonetheless eeeee, childhood friends to lover trope on TOP. WHO ELSE CHEERED

#sahkuna!#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo fluff #jjk fluff #eventual smut #later on... OBVIOUSLY.#to you someday

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bruhstories · 20 days ago

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Muse I

p.2 && p.3

summary: after futile attempts of producing paintings for the councillors of piltover, you finally find your muse. pairing: viktor x painter!reader warnings: suggestive content, strangers to friends-ish, angst, some swearing, afab!reader with she/her pronouns who wears skirts and dresses, somewhat canon divergent, particularly in part 2 w/c: 4k

a/n: this might be my magnum opus lol. it will come with a part 2. likes and reblogs are much appreciated and encouraged!

Paint dripped on the marble floor of your atelier — an unfortunate safety hazard that you were used to by now. You couldn't fill in the blank canvas with anything other than still life, despite being commissioned to paint portraits of every councillor, as well as a landscape of Piltover. But you lacked inspiration. Motivation. You had no muse, and councillor Salo definitely wasn't one, not with his snobbish attitude.

"I'm afraid we'll have to postpone your portrait, Councillor." You excused yourself and left the room, armed with nothing but a sketchbook and a dull pencil.

Piltover was a beautiful city, and you knew you could paint it if you just found a nice spot to view it from. Somewhere high above, where you could see it in its entirety. But until you found that perfect place, you roamed the streets, closely observing the architecture, the flora, the fauna. You walked on grass — you weren't sure it was allowed — and found a fountain, clear water trickling down the granite curves and slopes. Whoever sculpted it did a brilliant job, despite the water eroding the stone. In fact, the erosion added a certain charm to it.

You took your sandals off and sat down on a patch of grass to sketch the fountain, steady, so as to not mess up your drawing, even if it was just a guideline for your future painting. It was then when you saw him — the most beautiful creature you ever laid eyes on. His unkempt chestnut brown hair framed his face in a way that made your heart flutter, but his striking amber eyes had you hooked. Even from such a distance you could see the yellow and orange hues mixing in his irises.

Quickly flipping the page of your sketchbook, you began to draw him. Graphite slid up and down the parchment as your hand moved naturally, like it had a mind of its own. You sketched and shaded, not stopping until he did. Until another man joined him, effectively blocking your vision. No matter, your visual memory aided you in finishing the drawing, but you didn't stop there. You found your muse, and you needed to paint him.

Your nights grew restless as you juggled between painting Piltover, the councillors, and him. But he inspired you somehow, leaving only Councillor Medarda, half of the landscape, and his portrait unfinished. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get the colour of his eyes right, and it drove you mad. You couldn't remember exactly how much yellow you needed, or how much red. Was there a hint of green? Did you need to add a drop of blue?

A soft knock on the door of your atelier startled you, and you opened it, greeting Councillor Medarda. You forgot she was due for her portrait, and invited her into your messy chamber.

"My apologies, Councillor, I didn't have the time to tidy up."

"It's quite alright. I prefer this — the raw, unfiltered creativity. Besides, I've never met an artist that's organised." She smiled. "May I?"

"Of course." You nodded, bringing her more canvases and sketches to look at.

"You truly are gifted. The colours, the highlights, you must be a prodigy." The councillor nodded. "Is that-"

You snatched the paper from her hand, clutching it at your chest.

"Sorry, that one's... personal."

"Funny. I thought I recognised that man." She pondered, and the gears in your head rotated.

"If you do know him, could you introduce us?" You chewed on your lower lip, then left to show her another one of your paintings. "I just can't get his eyes right."

"Viktor." Councillor Medarda gasped at the sheer hard work you put into the portrait. "You weren't commissioned to do this."

"Like I said, it's personal. Practice." You swiftly corrected yourself. "Yes, good practice."

"I suppose I could take you to his lab. A fair warning — you might have to bring your supplies there, because he will never leave his work to pose for a painting." She scoffed.

"I can figure something out."

Mel Medarda kept her promise after what seemed to be an eternity. Although you hadn't finished her portrait, you managed to paint a good chunk of it, laying down all the base colours and shapes. She would have to come back another day, however. You walked with her, closely trailing behind with a box full of paints, brushes and thick paper. You didn't bring his portrait with you yet, because you needed to assess him first, and you couldn’t paint anywhere else but your atelier. Sketching was different — that you could do anywhere, at any time. But painting was intimate. However, you were considering making an exception for him.

"Goor afternoon, Jayce." Councillor Medarda greeted a very cheerful, very lovestruck scientist.

You could clearly see that he was doting on her, and she tried to hide her own excitement while maintaining a professional persona. It was cute to see a respectable scientist and a reputable councillor behave like teenagers — her hitched breath, his voice cracking, the quiver of her lip, the twinkle in his eyes — they were adorable. But you were here for someone else, not to witness their blooming love in a cold lab.

"Ahem." You cleared your throat inconspicuously, feigning a cough, and she remembered her promise.

"Jayce, this is Y/N. She's been commissioned to paint portraits of the councillors. Y/N, this is Jayce Talis, scholar, scientist, politician." Mel said, and you reached out your hand to shake Jayce's while propping the box in your hand with your knee.

"Nice to meet you, miss." His grip was firm around your fingers and palm. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

The councillor stifled a chuckle, her thin, delicate fingers covering her mouth. As always, Jayce thought himself to be the centre of attention. He was the centre of her attention, that much was certain.

"She's here for Viktor. Have you seen him?"

"Viktor, yes." Jayce awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, then looked at the crate in your arms. "Do you need a hand?"

"Thank you, Mr. Talis, but these materials are quite precious to me. I'd rather hold them myself, if you don't mind." You gripped the box tighter.

Jayce found it amusing how fond you were of your paintings supplies, something you had in common with Viktor. He, too, was possessive of his work, in an incredibly stubborn, annoying way.

"Very well. Follow me." The scientist said, and you and councillor Medarda walked down a corridor of marble and limestone.

In classic Piltover architecture, golden columns decorated the tall walls, with blue spheres embedded in them, contrasting the polished white floor. Whoever designed it had a keen eye for details, you thought. Jayce and Mel partook in small talk, but you didn't intrude. You much preferred memorising the way to the laboratory, the number of stairs, and the motifs on the walls.

Two wooden doors stood in front of you, intimidatingly tall. Jayce opened one of them, inviting you and councillor Medarda in first, like the gentleman he was. You were taken aback by the materials on the worktops, the tools, the lights, the runes. It was a lot to take in, and you wouldn't understand what you were taking in exactly. But behind the tables full of hammers, screwdrivers and wrenches was your muse. He was focused on something, brows furrowed and lips pursed. A tiny bead of sweat trickled down his temple, slowly reaching his jawline, and you instinctively licked your chapped lips.

"Vik!" Jayce called out, but the man offered no response, still concentrating on whatever he was doing. "You'll have to excuse him. When he's working, he seems unable to hear."

You smiled — it was a trait you both shared. Whenever you immersed yourself in painting, you couldn't pay attention to your surroundings.

"Viktor!" Jayce moved closer to the table, snapping his fingers in Viktor's face, until the man scoffed.

"Yes?" Voice laced with irritation, he finally looked up at Jayce, then behind him. "Oh."

"Viktor, this is Y/N. She's an artist." Mel's hand reached out, and with a nod, you stepped forward, placing the heavy crate on an empty chair.

"I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but I... well, how shall I put it?" You rummaged through the box and pulled out your first sketch of Viktor. "I would like to paint you."

He took the paper from your hand, amber eyes wide at the beauty of it. Viktor scanned the sketch and every detail that went into it, pale cheeks tinted pink.

"I understand if you find this awkward, or if you don't agree." You carried on, but there wasn't an ounce of emotion on his face.

"When did you do this?" Viktor asked, still staring at himself. It was like looking into a mirror, yet he couldn't recognise himself.

"A few days ago, by the fountain." You tried to guess his feelings, but he didn't let you see them. "Again, I understand you probably consider me strange for doing this, but I must paint you, sir."

"I'm flattered, miss. But perhaps Jayce would be a better candidate? You'll find he is much more appealing to the eye." He handed you back the sketch.

You glanced at Jayce, a look of disgust on your face that you tried to hide. Sure, he was objectively attractive, that you could agree on, but you didn't want that. You wanted him. You wanted your muse.

"I think it would be a great idea, Vik!" Jayce beamed at his partner. "You need a break."

"That is precisely what I don't need." Viktor rolled his eyes. "Besides, I don't want to leave my lab."

"I could do it here." You offered. "I won't talk, I won't disturb you, you won't even know I'm here."

"It's already crammed."

"Please." You leaned forward, palms slammed on his table, trying to get a better look at his eyes. You probably looked insane like that, but you didn't care — you were desperate. "If you don't like it, you can hide it, break it, burn it. It will be yours to do as you please."

Viktor was past the point of being irked. He was downright furious, but he had to shut you up somehow. And Jayce, who really needed to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face.

"Fine." He mentally scolded himself for agreeing to do something so stupid. Posing for a painting? Ridiculous.

"Thank you so much. This means the world to me!" You picked up the crate to find an unused spot in the lab.

Viktor didn't mind your presence. You were true to your word — quiet. You didn't ask questions, didn't walk around the lab, didn't make him sit in some egregious position. In fact, he was surprised to see just how focused you were on your paintings. The fact that he didn't pose made it difficult for you to do a portrait — the whole point of it was for your model to sit still. And he did, just with his back at you, slouched and avoidant.

And you weren't always there. Bouncing between your atelier and the lab, between sleepless nights and painting, your schedule had become hectic. The bags under your eyes and poorly buttoned shirts, the strands of hair that stuck out from your updo, or the lines of green and blue on your cheeks were a dead giveaway.

But Viktor was the exact same, missing only the paint on his face and the skirt. You were like two peas in a pod, so much so that it drove Jayce up the walls to practically have two Viktors in the lab. Stubborn, hard-working, irritable, he found it ridiculous that you didn't become friends yet, or at least something more than strangers, considering how similar you were.

But you weren't strangers.

The act of transcribing one's mind, body and soul onto canvas, without losing any tiny detail in translation, was intimate in itself. You had to study Viktor, to memorise his gestures, his quirks — the way his forehead creased when he focused, how he found comfort in gripping the handle of his cane, the twinkle in his eyes when he had a brilliant idea. You didn't need words to understand him.

At first, he found it odd. Having an intruder in his lab, in the only place that brought him comfort, joy and privacy, felt violating. It definitely didn't help that you kept a close eye on him. He understood why — you needed to look at him to be able to paint him. But it was, naturally, strange. Then, he became used to you, to your shadow, your scent — of roses, cinnamon, a hint of vanilla. Viktor never grew tired of the smell of copper and smoke, but whenever you walked past him in the afternoon to set up your easel and paints and brushes, he took a very deep breath in, just to oxygenate his brain with your scent.

The utter silence in the laboratory frustrated Jayce. Since you trespassed with their consent, his partner became quieter, and you barely uttered a good morning or goodbye. He really hoped you being there would help Viktor socialise, but it did the opposite. The sound of graphite scraping on paper, or bristles on canvas was the only thing he heard in days. It was too much.

"I need a break." Jayce slammed a screwdriver on the table, startling you, but Viktor was unmoved by the sudden rattle. "Viktor?"

"I'm fine." His partner waved his hand dismissively.

"Y/N?"

You set the brush aside, then cracked your knuckles. It had been hours since you had a drink or food.

"I'll take a break. I can't be efficient if I burn out, and I still need to finish the landscape." You got up from the wooden stool to stretch.

Behind the cogs and tools, Viktor glanced at you, amber eyes fixated on your neck, trailing down your collarbone, and your half-exposed chest. He didn't know when you unbuttoned your collar, or when you bunched up your skirt, but the clothes looked like an uncomfortable confinement on you. Like they stopped your body from flowing naturally. He wondered — an intrusive, improper, shameful thought — if you sometimes painted naked. If you were more creative when not clothed. But he shook the thought away when you walked around his table to the small stove behind him.

"Would you like some tea, Mr. Scientist?"

Viktor had forgotten how sweet your voice was, like a siren lulling sailors to their demise. He nodded, back facing you. He didn't dare to look at you after picturing you nude.

"Where did you study?" Jayce asked, and you really wanted Viktor to make that sort of small talk with you.

"Ionia, the Academy of Arts." You stirred the honey in Viktor's cup of tea.

"Mel tells me you're quite talented." Jayce complimented you, and you should've thanked him.

"Talent is nothing without hard work, Mr. Talis, as I'm sure you already knew, given your career."

Viktor smiled, even if you couldn't see him. He wholeheartedly agreed with you — even if both him and Jayce were geniuses in their fields, they wouldn't have accomplished anything without sheer hard work and dedication.

"You need to stop calling us Mr. Talis and Mr. Scientist." Jayce chuckled. "You've been in our lab for weeks now. You're part of the team."

"I wouldn't say part of the team, but I do appreciate the company. I can be quite lonely in my atelier." You placed the Viktor's tea on his table.

He couldn't help but feel a slight jab from your words. He, too, was lonely when Jayce left. But he didn't make an effort not to be. Work was more important, and he hadn't yet found anything to prioritise more than that. Jayce pulled out his pocket watch, and froze.

"Shit, I must go. I'm late to my date- my meeting. Sorry, Vik. Be right back! "

"Eeh, we both know these meetings take some time." Viktor grinned.

It wasn't the first time the two of you were alone in the laboratory, but it always happened when you were both working. You, however, were taking a break, and you needed it before returning to your portrait. Sitting in complete silence, you sipped on your tea, brainstorming ideas for the title of your painting. Viktor's Portrait didn't have a nice ring to it.

"You never asked to see it." You spoke, fingers wrapped around the warm mug, interrupting him for the first time.

He didn't, because he only agreed to it to shut you and Jayce up. He was never curious to see it finished, let alone in progress. But after spending weeks in your presence, and after you said that, he couldn't deny the curiosity that bubbled in his chest. Still, by this point, he could wait a few more weeks.

"I don't have any inclinations towards the arts, Miss Painter." Viktor playfully mocked the way you called him Mr. Scientist for so long. "I doubt any feedback I give will be useful."

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. Why were there two wrenches on his table? And two cogs? Two cups of tea? No, he was seeing double, his head was pounding, ears ringing. Viktor reached out for his cane, but when he took one step, his legs wobbled, refusing to support him. You caught him, a firm grasp around his forearm, and pulled the nearest chair for him to sit down after setting aside your mug.

"I suppose I am in need of a break, too." The scientist sighed.

Lately he had been looking paler, thinner. His clothes didn't fit him like they used too, trousers loose around his waist, held only by a leather belt. You brought his cane before he even asked you for it, and dug into your bag for food. Unwrapping the muslin cloth, you offered him your lunch — bread, cheese and a few dried fruits. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing.

"Eat, please." You encouraged him, breaking the bread in small bites.

"No, it's your food."

"And I'm giving it to you." The stern tone of your voice had him oblige.

"I've wondered, Miss Painter-"

"Y/N." You corrected him.

"Right, Y/N. I've wondered why did you want to paint me?" He asked after swallowing the food. "I'm a broken scientist, surely you could do better with your models."

"I am doing better." You pulled a chair for yourself. "I haven't had any inspiration in a very long time, despite being commissioned to paint fairly simple things. But then I saw you, and everything changed. Like it or not, Viktor, you became my muse that day."

"Well, I'm flattered. Truly." He winced at the weight of his brace around his calf. "I need to take this off. Too tight." Viktor bent over but his vision blurred, forcing him to lean back in the chair.

"I'll do it."

"Please, I don't need pity. Just to rest." He scoffed.

"It's not pity, it's help."

"Help because you pity me."

"Help because I want to help. Have you never experienced honesty from people?" You kneeled down between his legs to get a better look at his brace.

His jaw clenched at the sight of you like that. It has been too long since he touched someone, and although your intentions were pure, he could not block his sinful thoughts from tainting his mind. You were beautiful, clever, and you shouldn't waste your time with someone like him. Yet there you were, nimble fingers working the leather straps of his brace. You pulled it off, resting it against the table behind you.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" You looked up at him, and he drowned in your doe eyes.

Oh, there were plenty of things you could do for him, he just couldn't utter them, only imagine them.

"No, I'll just rest here if that's alright with you." Viktor nodded.

"Very well. I shall get back to my painting, but please, if you need any help, tell me."

When Jayce returned, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. You were meticulously combining colours, eyeballing the necessary amount you needed to create the shades you desired. Viktor was back at his table, brace around his leg and a chair closer to him. And it was quiet, normal.

Days of hard work proved fulfilling — you had finished the landscape of Piltover, handed the portraits to each councillor, and got paid. There were other requests that you received, but they could be postponed. You were so close to finishing Viktor's portrait, and you didn't need to do it in his lab anymore, only adding minor details.

But you couldn't just gift it unframed, and so you bought a simple wooden frame that you painted yourself to match the portrait. Purple and golden. You signed it and added something only the Academy of Arts in Ionia taught — a magical rune. Focusing your intentions in it, visualising the magic in the painting, you wrapped the canvas and took it to the laboratory.

Jayce wasn't there, and you were so grateful for that, because you wanted Viktor to see it privately. You wanted to cherish that moment, just the two of you. Opening the tall wooden doors that you were so familiar with, you walked into the lab, portrait in your hands. Viktor was shocked to see you look so well put together — a dark green dress and heels that clicked with each step on the cold stone floor. He had seen you at your worst, face covered in paint and fingertips darkened by coal and graphite. But now he had the privilege to see you at your best, he thought.

"It is done." The smile on your lips was contagious.

His long fingers touched the twine knot around the canvas, almost afraid to untie it and look at the portrait, but your encouraging, eager eyes stopped him from hesitating. Viktor pulled on the string and unwrapped the paper, looking at himself. But he was different. His hair was longer, silver mixed in his brown locks. A purple cloak was wrapped around him, with golden adornments, and his cane was a staff, the handle circular and matching the golden in his outfit. The dark background was lightened by pale yellow shapes and lines, and his eyes were identical, the same amber hues he saw when he looked in a mirror.

"Have you thought of a name?" Viktor asked, still shook by how beautiful he was in that portrait.

"The Herald." You nodded.

The painting belonged in a museum, not in his bedroom to collect dust. He examined every detail, even the frame that was in harmony with him. Was that how you saw him? Like a god?

"I honestly don't know what to say. It's beautiful." Viktor's eyes narrowed down on the small rune in the corner of the canvas. "What is that?"

"Magic." You grinned. "At the Academy they taught us to weave magic into our art."

"Magic? What for?"

"Hopefully to help you get better."

"I'm afraid that is impossible, Miss Painter. But I do appreciate the thought." Viktor offered you a bittersweet smile. "How may I repay you?"

"By doing me the honour of modelling for me." You folded your arms across your chest.

"Didn't I just do that?" He snorted.

"No, you worked. I would like to study you more. Your features are unique, Viktor."

"That one I have never been called. Weak, broken, handicapped, but unique is a new one." Viktor sighed. "I think you've had enough fun, Miss Painter. I won't be an object of mockery."

You were stunned. Did he honestly think you were making fun of him? That you spent countless days and nights painting him just to ridicule him? That you lost sleep and hurt your fingers just to insult him? No. He was insulting you.

"Very well." You straightened your posture. He was not about to wound your pride. "Good luck with your work, Mr. Scientist."

#viktor #arcane #viktor x reader #viktor x you #viktor x y/n #arcane x reader #arcane x you #arcane x y/n #afab reader #viktor arcane

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cosmokyrin · 1 year ago

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Miracles of Second Chances (Fancomic)

Ruby / Penny, Taiyang / Summer

Summary:

When the dust has gone and settled, all there was is to ponder the miracles before them. Canon divergence from Volume 8 finale.

FINALLY, after two long years, this commissioned RWBY fancomic has been finished. :') This is the longest journey I've been in.

I posted the full comic over at AO3! I don't know where to post long comics anymore LMAOOO

Preview page here:

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Artwork powered by Free and Open-Source Software (FOSS): Linux Mint MATE 21.1 and Krita 5.1.5

P.S. Commissions are in fact open! I still haven’t gotten to forever in clearing / fixing my old list, but at the moment I accept colored sketch commissions (like this post here)! Shoot me a DM here or on Twitter for slots!

#rwby #penny polendina #ruby rose #nuts and dolts #summer rose #taiyang xiao long #rwby fancomics #kyrin's art #commissions #krita

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maladaptivedaydreamhq · 1 month ago

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wait WAIT Arcane is now canon? after they literally started the thing saying they were diverging from LoL's lore?? i'm not mad i just can't even comprehend how they're gonna swing that

Part of me feels like a lot of the writing problems we got in season two came from the fact that Arcane was never supposed to be CANON CANON and so when Riot told Fortiche that Arcane was going to be the mainline canon Fortiche either

A) Had to backtrack a hell and a half to try and fit everything in that Riot now wanted into Fortiches' orignal plan

or B) made unconventional choices to get back at Riot to showcase that Riot will NEVER properly update champions and their lore to get back at them for dropping this after they had gotten everything set up

and I'm hoping it's the second one

#Arcane is enormously profitable like that's what it comes down to obviously businesses go where money is #but it's kinda wild bc Arcane seems to diverge from previous LoL lore kinda significantly in many places?? i mean i'm no expert #but even listening to a few of the old card interactions on yt shows enormous deviations from what Arcane got up to...hmmm much to ponder #LoL narrative department got a bigger budget this year ig

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ghostat7am · 2 months ago

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I think when I FINALLY get ADHD medication I should go back to that idea I had for a WarioWare: Diverged ask blog. I've been wanting to do it for ages but I simply cannot focus enough actually to do it, even when I have most of the assets in place

Alongside the comics & fanfics I'm working on, it'd be a fun way to demonstrate the characters I think. Also bc I just really love ask blogs and I miss my old ones

#warioware diverged #diverged pondering #rambling at 7am #rambles at 7am

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hotchfiles · 5 months ago

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ [CHOICELESS HOPE] ❞ — six. picket fence dream.

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!reader. summary: the moment leading up to the kiss, the drumroll, is as good as the kiss itself. it's certainly more innocent. it's completely harmless. content warnings: canon divergent. emotional cheating (not on reader). angst. right person wrong time. it's confession time. no use of y/n. word count: 2k+ a/n: you might hate or love me let's see which is it

Rossi doesn’t usually come to his apartment, especially with no warning on a Sunday, especially at 7AM, so when Hotch sees his less than pleased expression through the peep hole he knows it’s bad.

“A crying drunk mumbling fucking mess. Porca miseria!” Dave wastes no time, the words finally free after hours of keeping them in.

“Good morning to you too, Dave.”

“Don’t. You know what you did.” Yes, Hotch knew. But he definitely didn’t expect this as the consequence. Still, he couldn’t even feign ignorance.

“So, you took her ho—” Rossi’s eyes are piercing enough to interrupt him and force an exhale. “Thanks.”

He is truly grateful, he is not usually one to act out like a child, much less one to leave people he cares about behind like that. You brought up his best and his worst. Much of his strength and thinking power went towards controlling himself. The rest got messy.

“What are you going to do?”

“Well, I’ll apologize tomo—”

“Aaron!”

“I don’t know. I just don’t. And Beth will be over with coffee in a bit.”

Aaron watches his much too annoyed closest friend pour himself a sip of scotch, drinking it all in a mouthful.

“You are throwing away a second chance people don’t normally get. Do you even know why?”

Of course he knows why. There are many many whys.

Jack needed the stability only someone out of this godforsaken job could give, and he adored Beth.

Haley wasn’t an agent and he lost her, being with you was accepting the fact you could leave with him for a case and simply not come back. Essentially getting his son, his baby boy, a step mom that could be taken from him the same way as his mother.

Beth gave Jack a bigger chance of not losing again.

It gave him a bigger chance to rebuild his picket fence dream home.

It was logical. It was the right choice.

The feeling in the pit of his stomach and the bitter taste on his tongue shows disagreement with that every time he ponders though. And it’s hard to make the right choice when his body and soul begs him not to.

Before he can even muster enough will power to argument his way out, Dave comes at him with more questions to shake his belief system to the core. “Is this about Haley? About Jack? Or are you really just incapable of letting yourself be happy?”

Ouch.

Rossi doesn’t pull any punches, Aaron knows that, it’s why they get along well, no sugarcoating. Doesn’t make it less annoying to deal with it so early in the morning. Especially after the hell night he had trying to sleep and being plagued by thoughts and worries of you.

“If anything was to happen it would’ve happened before I met Beth.”

“How could it when you are both idiots?” Aaron simply sighs, not having a good enough rebuttal to that.

It was a true, he was an idiot, he could’ve gone after you when he got divorced, or after his grief got less painful. But back then he was angry, feeling abandoned by you when he would’ve never done the same to you.

He begged you to not forget him, to call him. He waited, he called. It was all fruitless as you made your decision to take him out of your life already.

Now it all seemed too complicated and to act on those feelings would complicate it even more.

Aaron is saved by the bell, if anyone could consider hearing the knock on his door he knew to be Beth’s, one of the reasons of his internal conflict, being saved.

At least Rossi leaves him alone for the time being, excusing himself as soon as the brunette enters the apartment with a quick peck to Aaron’s lips. Surely enough, Hotch has to tell her later that morning that no, Dave has nothing against her, he was just moody from being awake too early.

Luckily most of the day is spent around Jack and what the wanted to do, making it more about spending time with his boy than a date, so he doesn’t have to focus too hard on being a good partner and on not thinking about you. But it’s all he thinks about when Beth leaves at night and he realizes morning come he will have to see you.

Your eyes don’t meet his for even one second as Garcia presents the case and he knows it then how truly he fucked up. You aren’t angry. You look tired, not your face, not your eye bags. In fact you look as beautiful and put together as you always do, but in the glimpses he catches of your eyes as you talk to someone else, he sees it. And it breaks his heart. You are exhausted, not because of the job.

Because of him. And the worst thing is, he can’t even leave you alone, being the Unit Chief meant having to talk to his team, it meant to lead. He sighs to himself as everybody gets out of the briefing room and he wants to brush his fingers against yours lightly like old times and make you smile, but most of all Aaron just wants to tell you how sorry he is that this is happening again.

He can’t do that, knowing right now it would only make things worse, so he just gets up from his chair, grabs his go-bag from his office and follows the motion until everyone is in the jet. There he does his best to suppress what is going on his mind to focus on the case.

Galena is a beautiful small town, quite romantic even, too bad it is now suffering with the abduction of two children, the case and the BAU disturbing its peace.

And that disturbance goes well into the night, when no one is able to work anymore and Hotch has to call it a day, figuring out on the spot that Garcia had to book them in pairs, his key card the same number as yours.

Hotch can imagine Garcia had someone influence her on the chosen pairs, Rossi was practically glowing with childish glee as everyone got their cards.

Both you and him are too prideful and professional to make a scene asking to switch with someone. You were stuck with him until the case is resolved.

The two single beds as you enter the room are a relief, but the distance between them aren’t nearly enough in comparison to how faraway from him you wished to be.

“Just like the old days, huh?” He’s the first to speak, trying to break the tension as he spread the files of the case on the only desk available.

“Don’t do that,” you reply quickly, your tone as tired as your eyes have been since the first time he saw you today.

You drop your bag on the floor close to your bed, the loud noise startles Aaron, but you don’t care, body aching and ready for rest.

“That what?”

“Talking. Don’t talk to me,” you clarify. Another loud noise, your body dropping on the bed without ceremony. Eyes closed and focused on pretending he wasn’t there.

He stays quiet for awhile and you think he might respect your request, so you relax in the clean sheets welcoming the slumber.

Unfortunately for the two of you, now you are annoyed. So annoyed his shuffling around papers make your skin crawl.

Just like the old days.

The complete audacity to begin with that as if he didn’t abandon you drunk just two days before.

You sigh deeply, putting a pillow over your face to try and muffle his annoying overwhelming presence.

It doesn’t work.

“God, please, breathe louder, I don’t think Japan has heard you yet,” you shoot at him, immediately sitting up and catching him working the case files.

“You want me to stop breathing too, is that it?” He doesn’t look up from the papers, annoyed at the childish antics you’re pulling, which irritates you even more.

“If you could be so kind to, yes!” Your voice is pure sarcasm and venom, reminding him of just how stubborn and strong-willed you can be.

Just as he stops his writing, pen left to the desk, you get up in a hurry, attempting to go to the bathroom and ready to slam the door behind you. Hotch is quicker, getting up from his chair and grabbing your wrist to stop you from avoiding him even more.

It doesn’t hurt. His grip is gentle and you know you can easily get away from it. But you don’t.

“Hey, I’m sorry.” You nod at his apology, but he knows that won’t be all, so Aaron lets your wrist slip from his fingers and waits for the arguing he’s been avoiding to start.

One beat.

Two.

Three beats pass before your mouth moves in sync with your drowning mind, “what exactly are you sorry about?”

Right to the jugular from the start. He obviously instantly thinks of the easy answer: Everything. But that’s not the answer you’re looking for. Beyond that, he knows it would be unfair for both of you to gloss over the situation once again.

You know Aaron isn’t stalling but actually thinking by the way his index and thumb rub together, his lips tightly pursued. Your stomach feels like it’s twirling, nervousness making an appearance now that this was about to happen. The talk. The admissions.

Both of you are aware now shouldn’t be the time to talk it all over, there is a case to work, a hard day to rest from, but this is 10 years in the making. The flight response was already drained, only fight left.

“I’m sorry for overstepping and turning our friendship into something confusing and uncomfortable,” he says slowly but firmly, but even so Aaron regrets his choice of words, more regret when he catches you rolling your eyes.

“Confusing and uncomfortable, sure,” you reply with the same sarcasm you displayed earlier, your arms now crossed defensively over your chest, “I hope that’s not the best you’ve got.”

“I’m trying here and I would appreciate a little less sarcasm.” His eyes are as piercing as his tone, you scoff at the manifestation of frustration, as if he had grounds for that right now.

Your feet have a mind of their own and you start pacing around the room, “Hotchner, I changed my whole life around ten years ago for the sake of your comfort.” That wasn’t untrue, although it had a lot to do with your comfort as well, but he needed to be reminded of your sacrifices. “And the first opportunity you had to be a dick to me you not only took it but doubled down on it!”

Hotch knows you are speaking about the gala and before he can control his tongue like he would in a time like this, " I got jealous! It took over me.”

It’s good that he doesn’t expect that to stop you or take your breath away because if anything, you’re angrier now.

“You have a girlfriend! You have no right to be jealous of me! You were married, Hotch! And I never did something like that to you.”

“You left! I love you and you left,” he notices his mistake and quickly tries to recover, “I loved you. You’re back and I don’t know what’s the right thing to do.”

He sits at the edge of his chosen bed, elbows to his knees, hands to his face and you finally stop on your heels, not knowing how to react to the confession you both have been denying yourselves from speaking out loud.

You swallow dry, sitting on the edge of your bed, right in front of him.

“I loveーI loved you too.” Your hands find home on his knees and his drop to hold them.

“l don’t know what to do. I want to do the right thing.” He sounds pained and you have to fight that desperate lover girl in your mind begging you to tell him to choose you.

“I can’t help you with that,” it’s what you actually end up saying, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

#lari writes sometimes #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds x reader #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch imagine #hotch scenario

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nights-at-crystarium · 2 months ago

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Fragments - episodes 47-52 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

Time to recap the first proper wolgraha miniarc. See what you might’ve missed, or simply enjoy the extra content in form of my rambling.

47 stands out as a bit disconnected, floaty, introspective episode fully focusing on Exarch’s pov. I’ve scattered some breadcrumbs for him throughout the entire comic, time to pick those up. He may be an oblivious fool in certain moments, but I believe he wouldn’t keep insisting on staying deaf and blind when evidence’s shoved in his face. So, this moment of recollection and rethinking marks the start of the canon divergence, all of his future actions are colored by this.

Vivi has a dire effect on some people even without trying to manipulate them.

The composition forms a star here :3c

This panel should make their likeness even more obvious, they’re mirror reflections, albeit deliciously twisted ones. Also, the V sign is literally something that Vivi. Just. Does.

Exarch's heard from Vivi himself that they might be the same, Urianger literally tells him to go to a mirror and ponder, but when he does, and tries to look a bit more like he imagines Vivi, he can't stand what he sees in the mirror. They still aren't the same in his heart of hearts, even if reality itself tries to prove otherwise.

Hidden Angst Time! I can only hope that most readers are familiar with the flashback bubbles by now, and that this panel reads as it should: Feo Ul embraces Exarch while pointing out that they’re also being ostracized by their kind. Though the ultimate fae wisdom lies in accepting something the way it is, and just not caring too much.

More under the cut~

*rewinds all the way back to episode 1* hehe

“Does a hero have to be happy about his job” is one of my personal fav lines so far, I think it hits hard, pointing not only at Vivi, but at Exarch as well, and the visual supports it. I think this encapsulates Exarch’s ideology.

Exarch’s GASP could be interpreted as saying GASP out loud, which only makes it funnier.

Vivi carefully plans his entrance in order to make the atmosphere less formal. Approaching normally just wouldn’t do it. Also he just feels relaxed and safe to be silly. Remember how lowkey he was since his arrival to the First? His behavior all but contradicted what I said and showed about him in the ARR arc and outside of the comic.

Well, that’s in the past now. He’s finished assessing the situation and concluded that it’s okay to be more himself.

Feo Ul's upset that Exarch used his “radar” to detect Vivi’s ambush while they’d just used a similar ability to make sure that no emet-selchs are around.

If you catch a flirty vibe from Vivi in this episode, you're correct.

Vivi when he's remotely interested in a man:

My flavor of lampshading the obvious exposition dump. Oh Exarch, you asked for this, no take-backsies.

Another few hard-hitting questions from Exarch. It's easy to gloss over these, but if you slow down and think, it's decent angst material. Has anyone ever been concerned about Vivi's feelings, or was it more convenient to look away, even if intently, even if both sides knew they're better off not talking about that, for there's indeed no wol replacement. What good does acknowledging the situation if you can’t change it.

This's Vivi's memory, thus he appears small against the looming forms of the world leaders. Rigid, formal, impersonal. Raha's memories of the Ironworks seem to have a different vibe, despite all the parallels of the duty imposed by the world on one special guy. Also yeah I do wanna make my own version of the 8UC timeline and characters someday, for now these are just random characters that I consider as placeholders. And the dunmeshi cameo x’D

Yes, he mocks the people that he's saved. He's VERY frustrated with his job.

I offer you a fun game: spot all the mannerisms that make Vivi and Emet so alike. I genuinely never thought about this until this year, while this scene's pretty damn old, i.e. Vivi's always been like this, it precedes my Emet brainrot.

I swear that this line also was there before my Emet brainrot, but now it makes for a hilarious kind of foreshadowing.

You could already tell how "fit" he is for solving trolley problems.

This’s his “oops I talked too much shit” face.

The way Exarch just quietly TURNS and LOOKS at Vivi cracks me up. Don't undermine the tone with random jokes, dammit. But is this random? I’ve already analyzed this moment somewhere but for the sake of keeping important things in one place: they wrestle for control here. Exarch winds up for something serious, while Vivi wants to steer the convo towards more casual. It does somewhat lower the tension, though Exarch doesn’t relinquish his lead in the convo.

This doesn’t save him from becoming Frank forever from here on.

This miniarc’s rich with raw, hard-hitting words, so I’ll bring this up again.

We’re finally getting the explanation and context for a lot of previous episodes:

And the following episodes only help driving this point home. Vivi already sees the First as a viable escape from the Source with all of its shitty people and endless problems.

"This's why I... enjoy my time away from the Source": even at this seemingly high level of trust between them Vivi won't openly tell Exarch about his plans to stay here, a variable he doesn't want to become a risk.

Yes, he does an entirely calculated and strategic flop. A literal thirst trap.

Meme provided by my discord server:

Vivi casts provoke, it's..... not effective

^ This’s one of my personal fav exarchs I’ve ever drawn DADDY PLS

A panel that everyone loved to bits :>

I pair angst with other flavors to make it fun and non-repetitive. It's not "boohoo I can never kiss my hero, the world will end if I do, I'm so aggravated with myself", it's the hooded Exarch (duty) being mad at the unhooded Exarch (human), and delivering the same notion in a fun exchange. You can't help but laugh at the comical chibi violence, at the same time you acknowledge that it's a pretty fucked up act of suppressing one's innate human desires.

It's not a date, they just sit and talk <- the water in which Exarch is being slowly boiled.

I rarely talk about the visuals, but here I intended to make it look like a magical moment frozen in time. It's immersive, whimsical, full of color and movement. Despite the perceived warmth, the composition splits them apart, they're alone together. It’s still Raha’s pov, Vivi doesn’t seem to have any fond memories of the Source at all, we only hear about the past from his current jaded self.

An in-universe acknowledgment of the ARR arc lasting only 11 episodes x’D Though it’s all by design, it was meaningful only to Raha, while being a forgettable blip in time for Vivi.

Episode 52 opens with.... *drumroll*

NIP SLIP

I lovingly rendered that nip and I’ll make you look at it.

Ibuprofen meme would be the first thing that comes to mind, but consider the better/worse caption: "come to daddy". In all seriousness though, it’s a cool panel that I wanted to appreciate again. This IS Vivi’s pov.

The grimy beaten up Vivi creates questions that are answered in episode 53, which is yet to be released publicly at the moment of writing this. Some episodes, like 52-53 and 42-43, come in pairs that only make sense together due to the non-linear storytelling.

Yes this’s Aymeric, no I won’t say anything else :’> One thing that’s worth noting is the face Vivi makes here. And the distant, emotionless tone with which he recalls the moment of his own near-death.

Lemme spell it out even more plainly: Vivi romanticizes the moment he almost died. Exarch just happened to be present in that moment, and Vivi latched on to him as someone who would grant him escape, freedom, peace.

“A kindly wizard from fairytales”. I regret to inform you that we have two delusional fucks on our hands. Both see each other as some kinda dreamt up, idealized, mythical figures.

This miniarc isn’t over yet, but I’m wrapping up the recap here. Thanks for reading till the end~

#ffxiv #vivien rell #crystal exarch #g'raha tia #wolgraha #wol x g'raha tia #ffxiv: fragments #fragment ii: new world old friend #fragments talk

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bkdk-prophet · 7 months ago

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Ochaco Uraraka and Katsuki Bakugou: Who saves heroes when they’re the ones in trouble?

Do ya’ll every think abt how Katsuki took over the “who supports/saves heroes when they’re the ones in trouble” plotline in the current arc, which Ochaco originally had? Yes, that question came to her first when she saved Izuku from the Blackwhip rampage with the help of Shinsou, and once more reflected on that said question with her speech to let Izuku in UA.

But the thing is, her attention has shifted from saving heroes (Izuku) to villains (Toga); even during her speech to save Izuku, she thinks of Toga’s smile and ever since then couldn’t stop pondering it—so much so that she had to voice out this dilemma to Izuku which, after talking to a bit, had her arrive at the same conclusion to save their respective villains.

Where does Katsuki come in this? Well, as seen from his development in the JT arc, a lot of it is centred around being willing to “be saved” and “save” as a hero towards other heroes. He acknowledged the save aspect of “win to save, save to win” and had therefore improved on his ability to lead a team and find compatibility in working with them (Also notice the placement of the texts lmao).

This is a huge sign of improvement, as he used to despise the idea of being saved/helped cause he believed it to be a sign of weakness and vulnerability. Also, the “saving” aspect of heroism wasn’t something that came naturally to him, so instead he put most his energy into winning in order to compensate for it. It was huge character flaw that held him back in a number of ways. However, that flaw had began to unravel bit by bit as early as the final exam arc when he and Izuku had to work together, then the Kamino arc (where he took Kirishima’s hand), the provisional license exam arc (where he trusted Kirishima and Kaminari to win and save him) and had since been accelerated after Deku vs Kacchan pt. 2.

Further down the line, we have seen him grow into the belief that heroes save everyone, even other heroes. But as he’s been opening up to this idea, Izuku’s been closing himself off from this idea in relation to himself. His self-sacrificial tendencies, something Katsuki’s already aware of, were now worsened due to the duty and weight of carrying OFA. As he allowed himself to worry, it became clear to him that Izuku will not share his burdens unless someone insists their presence. Because of that, he’s made it his personal job to follow Izuku to war, catch up to his pace and match him, and make sure he doesn’t endanger himself (this is true before, during, and after Katsuki Bakugou rising).

Going back to Ochaco, it’s clear that both she and Katsuki’s focal point in the “saving other heroes as heroes” plot line is Izuku. The idea of them also being heroes who save heroes had been introduced in the same arc, which was during the JT arc. The difference is that Ochaco had mostly diverged from this plot line, while Katsuki has made it his main priority alongside winning (save to win), cause saving people is what paves the path to absolute victory. He even singles himself out as being the person who steps in when Izuku can’t handle it all on his own. Furthermore, he worked together with Izuku in saving All Might (both their childhood hero) to win against AFO.

So what gives? Why was Ochaco the person to introduce the question of who saves heroes, when Katsuki’s the one to pedal it in the final arc? Why didn’t Horikoshi stick with this motivation for Ochaco when it could’ve been used as an opportunity to make leeway for more romantic tropes concerning the main couple? Where the presumed heroine wants to save the hero, is closest to the hero, and becomes targeted by the villains. The answer is simple.

Horokoshi isn’t following a formula, and loves subverting our expectations.

Ochaco’s crush towards Izuku and former motivation of being the one to support/save heroes acted as a red herring to Toga. Her crush introduced the conflict of how to love others and yourself authentically, a conflict that’s central to Toga and Ochako’s fights all the way up to their final confrontation. Then the “who saves heroes” plot line is what put a crack in her imagine of hero society, a society who views heroes as infallible and abuses their selflessness, making people such as Deku—someone she had idolised for his heart and self-sacrificial traits—buckle under the weight of unrealistic expectations. Although this was important to the development of Izuku and Ochaco’s relationship itself, considering her speech which emphasised that she was one of the first people to truly support Izuku, it also made leeway for her to reflect on how hero society views villains, too. Then there she discovers that she wants to see Toga smile again, and find her among the crowd of happy faces in front of her.

Katsuki, on the other hand, takes on the roles that were expected to be given to Ochaco on account of her ‘love interest’ status. He’s the person whose consistently been saving/supporting Izuku from the first to the last war, the person targeted by ShigAFO cause of his closeness to Izuku, the person that has known about OFA longer than his peers, and the person at the center of Izuku’s “control your heart” plot line. The choice for Katsuki to take on these roles weren’t made willy nilly, as the narrative makes sure time and time again to emphasise that his relationship with Izuku is unique, complementary, deeply personal, and intimate; they are two people who complete each other’s brand of heroism by having what the other doesn’t.

Anywho, that doesn’t mean his individuality as a character is diminished cause these roles are typically associated with lazer-focused-on-the-mc heroines. Remember, his biggest character flaw had to do with being too independent and hyper focused on winning. He was a hero who formerly had trouble with the concept of being saved and saving others, especially towards the person he had refused the hand of and despised all these years, so it’s impactful and telling of his character development to now be the one who outstretches his own hand to other heroes, notably to his classmates and All Might, and most importantly Izuku.

His journey is of reaching an understanding with the person he wronged and couldn’t understand due to the views hero society ingrained in him, and to save that person from themselves. It’s understanding that heroes such as him, Izuku, and All Might, no matter how much power they hold, won’t always win if they refuse saving and support; so far, his arc focuses on the humanisation of heroes. It’s not unlike Ochaco’s, Izuku’s, and Shoto’s, who want/wanted to reach an understanding and save the people they had despised and couldn’t understand due to the views hero society ingrained in them; their arc focuses on the humanisation of villains.

That’s why I’m hopeful about DvK3 happening, where it’s Katsuki’s turn to see and respond to Izuku’s inner turmoil, and save him by his words.

Anyways, I’m sure by now we’ve all reflected on the romantic implications the roles Katsuki takes on, so I think bkdk being implied canon isn’t far off. However, I’m still not sure on what kind of deconstruction/subversion Hori is aiming for—does he want to say that the tropes usually applied to love interests can be platonic? As to say that romantic relationships aren’t always the closest? Or is the rival the actual love interest, and the perceived love interest is not. We’re not sure yet.

#mha #bkdk meta #dkbk meta #bkdk #dkbk #ochaco uraraka #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya #deku #kacchan #uravity #toga himiko #Togachako #another brainrot essay help I cant stop thinking abt mha

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astralnymphh · 1 year ago

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𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

summary: swept under your fossil gray wool blanket, a body deprived of slumber and living the effects of back-bending chores all around the farmhouse has you fatigued and yearning to supply the last ounce of energy with a bit of literature. eventually, ellie will set that book on rain check, and your fatigue, ..and her boredom. honestly, she'll definitely be the one to steal your energy instead of the book. reader discretion advised: nsfw, mdni, usual playful bickering, one second of cuddiling, poetic ahh writing, very mild foreplay, hella dirty talk, lotsa swearing, oral (receiving) spitting, clit stim (receiving), petnames (babe, baby, good girl) footnotes: word count (2k), masterlist, palestine masterpost, read this, written circa 2023. (hence the writing style change)

radiance incarnate is what lies behind the glass pane just ahead of your bed-post. lunar light outstanding the dark night, never lacking a few stars that flecked the sky above the nocturnal forest, at least what you could perceive through a regular sized window. fusing with the comfortability of your mattress and cloaked in a warm wool blanket makes for a nice end-of-the-day reward while you immerse yourself in the realm of 'the odyssey'. ellie's not in bed. not in the room. she's presumably downstairs finishing up something, so not a clue of her coming is on your mind.

you wriggle around the soft bed altering your position to have one leg bent and the other draped over, the book upheld by the bulk of your thigh making it easier to flip through. page by page, word by word, space and time diminishes around you and is replaced by this entrancing world of mycenaean greece portraying the aegean sea. the room was dimly lit and still, minus the muted sounds of an owl and crickets chirping beyond the wooden walls. serenity lasts for a good half hour before an upsurge of hard rubber footsteps wake the floor by the bedroom door to the right of you.

"hey babe- ooh, what'cha reading?" ellie's voice grapples your focus to her profile, attired in her white shirt, grubby denim and converse that look like they've been dragged to hell.

"the odyssey." you respond as she begins to lurk closer, arms crossed.

she swipes her tongue across her lips, saying, "y'know.. savage starlight might be more.. fun to read?" in an obviously sarcastic note, creasing her brows together accompanying a brass smirk.

"to you, maybe. I actually enjoy this a lot." you cave the book over your chest, sitting like a roof, "you just don't have a mature taste."

"whadda'ya mean? comics are for everyone, and actually easy to understand." she clambers atop of your hips, descending her face upon you, "unlike the odyssey."

"pshh, the odyssey is a classic." you highlight.

"you're just mad that im right."

you pucker a pout, slowly lifting the book between your noses till ellie knocks it down plumb on your collarbone.

"ah-uh," she intently strikes spires into your eyes with her persuasive peer, narrowing those lids in an undeniably tantalizing way, "can't ignore this now."

"you're right." you spat out and divided the space with your book again.

"c'mon.." she prys the book from your limp grasp, leaving it astray to the bed adjacent to you, "I'm here now, aren't I?" a humbly intimate whisper croaks from her toothy grin.

you banish your sight to the headboard above, pondering the words that would wisp from your lips, "I have a few pages left, babe, then we'll do whatever.."

"mmk, 'gonna lay on you though." she giggles and shuffles along the length of you, interlacing your limbs together and smushing her cheek on your stomach. her arms swathe your hips and tuck underneath your butt.

the book diverged from your fingertips finds its way back, cuddled between your thumbs and eclipses ellie's head from your vision. your pupils root back to the muster of sentences lining the page, with a certain breath gusting onto your mildly exposed midriff.

a scant minute survives before a husk is heard, "mmph- so warm.." the tip of her nose drags on your skin as she faces downward, marking an indulgent smooch to your abdomen.

that brought a melliferous smile to draw out, instilled with admiration from her speckled kisses. it anchors your attention unwillingly when these kisses continue but you'd rather void it and tread on with reading as ellie treads on with a rampancy of taunting kisses. normally, this'd be blasé, but tonight, it's turning your tides.

ellie muffles, "wann' kiss every inch.." her nibbles subside in target of your navel, nuzzling on the pouch of your belly and biting your shorts' band, "fuck.."

"els."

"mhm?"

"what're up to?" the book slants down.

"you."

"elsies.."

"just showin' my love.." her tone airs up and turns raspy.

"I think it's more than that." you dig at her transparent peak in sensuality and prod her foot with yours.

ellie can't necessarily disprove this, she was blatantly horny but wanted to keep that 'under the covers' till you shared the feeling outwardly. a shameless smirk paints her mouth regardless, "y'know what I really wanna do?"

"what?"

a gnaw at her lower lip fracts the answer briefly, uttering, "I wanna eat your fucking pussy." and blunt she was, verdant eyes fastened to yours. she's so eager for you, clawing at your loins.

a shudder bolts the extent of your nerves and you clench around nothing but a throb at the contents of her question, visibly ruffled up by it, "babe.."

"can I?"

nary a gloom of doubt inhabits your mind, the way she's laying on your body, patient to taste you revs you up like a torrent of arousal. oh my fucking goddess. it's making you go wild.

"yes.."

"shit- m'kay, lemme just.." ellie wrinkles up the sheet in her fist, tossing it overhead till her head was obscured by it. the amber hue of her hair is subtle under the thin pearly sheet as she slithers down between the interstice of your thighs.

maybe the now carnal environment made it inconvenient to carry on with the perusal of your book, but you're elevating it back up from your sternum regardless. the vivid thought of her eating you out while you read is a bit elating, is it not?

ellie's cunning lips park at the epitome of your core, locking her biceps under your slack legs and dangling her still shoe-clad feet off the beds' brink.

"can't wait to see that beautiful fucking pussy.." her veiled voice has strings of raw ardor plucking in her throttle rippling onto your clothed entrance with a muggy pant on every word.

an unheard gulp passes through to the trench of your chest, sending out a reflex of sweet sensations to your pelvis, whimpering, "mhh- ellie.."

"shhhshhh.. i got'chu.."

she begins to pleat your panties over themselves and slip them off your legs, whizzing them away to some lifeless nook of the tucked-in sheets.

"fuck.. shit-" ellie heaves in awe, even day after day of seeing you bare, it's so titillating to her, drool is abandoning her lips.

the paragraphs living on the pages merge into an unintelligible blob as your vision drowses and the only sensation you can detect is her breath lathering your exposed slit. an open 'ptui' is heard prior to a wet glob landing on your clit and evoking a jolt from your body.

"so sensitive.." she pokes fun at your reaction, slapping her digits down on your sappy pussy and rubbing the spit through your folds, which to much avail, juts your body again.

"fck!" you hack out a swear at each writhe and prod.

"yeah, like that?"

the grip on your book tightens, causing it to tremor in your shaky hold.

"gonna taste so fuckin' good, mmh.." she murmurs to herself but you catch the gist since immediately after her lips envelop your clit and enlist deft torpedo laps to it.

a heap of pleasurous pricks throb in your cunt and garner a gentle mewl from your chords, whining, "gh- mhhhn.." tenderly in growing bliss.

ellie laps your clit in brisk flicks while sucking it up with noises similar to kissing resounding through the sheer fabric cascading over her head.

you observe the cover moving with every mild thrust of her head, creasing and shuffling with the halo of her hair. a hand prowls from the sheets' hem and searches for anywhere to rest, to which you beckon it to your breast.

she realizes this and gives it duo squeezes for good measure and her unemployed fingers knead the squishy flesh of your ass, all while smirking.

"mmhh~ I wanna see you.." you mumble into the whafted-shut book, knocking off the already sliding sheet with your knee to reveal a flushed ellie with her nose buried in your crotch, her pretty face poised between your thighs, stuffed in your cunt.

her irises hark this newfound horizon before her and diffuse an intense glare that shudders your soul, sinking her lips deeper into those parted folds and drinking up your sticky deluge.

her mouth disconnects with threads of saliva and slick following, "this pussy tastes s'fucking divine, you know that right?"

"y-yeah.."

"could go down n'you for breakfast, lunch n' dinner.. fuck- baby.."

ellie retreats her keen tongue, dipping into your entrance and soaking up the lewd coating of your walls. oral sounds of her mouth practically having a make-out sesh with your puffy lips overflow the room and bounce like an echo betwixt your ears.

"ohh my godd.." your moans enhance and amplify in the sea of ebbing relief and flowing pleasure.

her pecan speckled skin tinted with rose is glazed with a sinful slick from how far she pushed her face in, a terribly arousing sight to behold when she withdraws to praise her own work.

"how's m'pretty girl doing?"

"s-so.. closee.."

"want' you to moan my name when you do, yeah?"

"o-okay.."

"I wanna know how fuckin' good I make you feel." her sharp curses stay unyielding in her expression.

"mh-mhghmm.." your throat clogs up in anticipation.

ellie pours over your bare stature one last time before gripping the back of your knees and pushing them up till your feet meet the sky.

"that's better."

her lips smash into your cunt once again and prove to be frothing with a craving for you, clenched brows and grunting into your groin intently. she explores every attainable inch like she knows it, licking up your pre-cum like it's the last fucking meal on earth.

"oh- fuck!" you wail out, webbing your fingers in her frizzed up locks by habit.

her inhuman speeds catch you out of the blue, binding her tastebuds with your natural taste and delighted in every millisecond of it. she hoists onto her knees and hovers over your bottom half, wriggling her tongue over your entire opening and sending that abused clit into overdrive.

"el-ell.. ellie! i can't fucki- ah!" a high squeak blazes from your gullet.

she blurts out, "cum on m'fuckin' face." submerged in your folds.

"els.. mh!"

it's the end for you when she starts purposefully moaning on your bud, finally ushering your climax to dull your senses and numbfuck your consciousness. your reality is painted with a globe of starlight just by the heavenly feeling of it.

"good girl..-fck, there there..." ellies gingerly tone conflicts with her devilish play, drinking up the breach of cum gushing from your orgasm.

"oof.. jeez.." you recline your legs once her hands flee, huffing your way down from the celestial heavens.

ellie clambers up and collapses next to you, a smug and prideful visage staring back at your profile.

"did ya finish those pages?"

"erm, no."

she butts off a laugh, "eh, well.." her palm advances your bangs, hooking them behind the conch of your ear, "ended up having more fun, yeah?'

"i- yeah.. I guess.."

"you guess?"

"coulda been a lot better."

"whaaaat?" she mimicked an offended countenance.

"like it's nothing to write home about-"

"u're just trynna rile me up!"

"what if I am?" you boldy tease, tutting your skull side-to-side.

and that's ellie's one weakness, teasing. her brows hike, hollering "ohhh- I see how it is!" and rolls on top of you and thrusts her pelvis down with clear intention, "c'mere-"

"fhmm--" her willowy finger seals your lips, heeding the provocation you've cast into her mind.

"you're on."

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eff4freddie · 2 months ago

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After She Left | Thirteen

Words: 6.4k

Joel and Tommy head to the town to search for Ellie, not knowing the danger they're heading into. Furious, you ride with Shauna, hoping to find Ellie and intercept Joel before any infected find them first.

Chapter warnings: Description of death by suicide, canon-typical violence, blood, Shauna's a piece of shit (again)

Twelve | Series Masterlist | Fourteen

Joel had felt this before; this twinning, this divergence. Needing to be in two places at once.

Had felt it as he held Sarah in his arms, needing to stay in the moment with her, to breathe with her as she gasped out her last, and also to run, to evaporate, to pump his legs as fast and as far as they could carry him. Away from the smell of her blood on his clothes. Away from the silence, the stillness, in her little body as he held her.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her so quiet. She arrived, screaming from her mother’s womb and into his warm arms, and didn’t stop squawking until she departed, his arms quaking around her. He blinked away the memory, his stomach churning.

He needed to be in the town. He needed to be in the moment, scanning the road for any sign of Ellie. He needed to breathe.

‘Easy, brother,’ Tommy called from two horse-lengths behind him. ‘We need to watch for any signs of her.’

‘She’s a fast walker,’ Joel pushed out through his straining jaw. ‘Even more so when she’s angry. We gotta…we gotta get there, Tommy.’

‘We don’t even know she came this way,’ Tommy reasoned, but Joel shrugged this off. He’d seen the way Shauna had been hiding something, had been the only one to see it. She knew something he didn’t, yet. About the town. About Ellie.

The two brothers rode in silence, Joel doing his best to keep his eye on the path. He didn’t see any tracks, but he’d taught Ellie better than to walk out in the open. Out here the road was wider, the trees set further back. She would have been smart about it, making her way through cover.

‘Why did you fuckin’ do this…’ he pondered aloud, his thoughts suddenly too loud to stay tucked up in his head. He heard his brother scoff behind him, even over the pelting of the horse’s hooves.

‘Really, Joel?’ he asked, causing Joel to pull up on the reigns, ease the horse into a canter, letting his brother catch up beside him.

‘The fuck does that mean?’ he asked.

‘You can’t think of a single reason why Ellie might have taken off? Not one single person who might have given her a reason to run?’

Joel held the reigns firm in his hands as he stared hard at the ground. Of course he could.

‘They were startin’ to get along,’ Joel said. Tommy stared at him, even as they rode.

‘Were they?’ Tommy asked. ‘Or did you just stop lookin’?’

Joel felt the back of his throat go dry. ‘Easy, brother,’ he said, by way of a warning. But Tommy was having none of it.

‘Ya selfish fuck,’ he said, simply. Joel turned his head to his brother, blinking at him. He hadn’t noticed how worked up Tommy was, how hard he was holding his own reigns.

‘Tommy, I…’

‘I know… “because of Sarah”,’ Tommy groaned. Joel could see he was upset, now, agitated and wiping hard at his cheek. ‘But you had another chance, with Ellie, and with Teach if you wanted it. You let it all go to shit for Shauna, even after everything she did.’

It would have been less painful, Joel considered, if he just turned himself inside out, so strong was his instinct to crowd in on himself.

‘I…’ he started, but trailed off. He didn’t have the words to fight, knew that his brother was right, in an insane moment almost resented him for not saying something sooner, before Joel had let everything decay.

‘You’re not the only one who lost her,’ Tommy said, after a while, quiet. His voice carried on the wind, echoing against the wood, the trees.

‘You ain’t lost a daughter,’ Joel grit out, misplaced fury flashing hot across his sternum. ‘You ain’t got any idea what you’re talkin’ about.’

‘Don’t I?’ Tommy asked, and he turned to his brother, then, let him see his face. The tears tracking down his skin, the red of his eyes. ‘I know she wasn’t my daughter, Joel, but she was my family. Saw her nearly every damn day. Loved her just the same as you.’

Joel felt his jaw tic. ‘No one loved her the same as me,’ he said, but he could feel the venom leaking away, leaving only the desolation in its wake.

‘But I loved her, Joel. You gotta know that.’

Joel did know it. Remembered the way Tommy had pulled him along, for months, and then for years, after Sarah’s death. Kept him going, made him eat, stayed up all night keepin’ watch just so that Joel could toss and turn in his bed and cry out for his girl. Through all of it he knew Tommy was hurting, too, swept up in the same wave of grief that had near obliterated him. But it was that same crashing water, that same briny foam over his head, that stopped him from helping his little brother, that stopped him from guiding him through it. That had made it impossible for them to be together like they had been, easy and fun and oblivious to the true horrors of the world.

‘I think about losin’ Robin,’ Tommy said, pulling Joel from his thoughts.

‘Don’t…’ Joel said, raising a hand to stop him.

‘I do! I fuckin’ do! You think you’re the only one…’

‘No, I mean don’t think about that,’ Joel interrupted, the fight gone clean out of him, his shoulders slumped. ‘Trust me on that, little brother. Don’t think about it, don’t imagine it. It’ll eat ya up f’ya let it.’

The two rode in silence, the road winding down the slope towards the town. Just over the tree line they could make out some crumbling roofs edging the valley.

‘You remember my Michael Jordan basketball?’ Tommy asked, suddenly, his voice distant as he stared out over the valley.

‘Your what?’ Joel asked, happy for the distraction but confused all the same.

‘My Michael Jordan basketball? Had it signed and all, Dad bought it back from Chicago for my eighth birthday.’

Joel had a distant memory of it – red and black in the Bulls colours. He’d only ever caught glimpses of it, had only been allowed to touch it once, and even then only after Tommy had supervised him washing his hands.

He grinned at his brother. ‘You loved that thing,’ he said.

‘I did, my most prized possession,’ Tommy agreed. ‘That thing made me happier than anything else in the world.’

Joel nodded as they started to ease down the slope, his eyes still watching the road for any sign of Ellie. They started to pick up the pace.

‘I hardly ever saw you play with it,’ Joel observed, and Tommy tutted at him.

‘That’s just the thing, brother,’ he said. ‘Something that precious, you can’t play with it. You gotta keep it safe and clean in your closet, gotta bury it under old – but clean – clothes, in case your dumbass older brother comes snoopin’.’ At this Joel huffed out a laugh. ‘You gotta…protect it,’ Tommy finished.

Joel nodded at this. ‘Makes sense.’

‘But then you can’t enjoy it,’ Tommy went on. ‘You spend all that time with it locked away, you never get to bounce the damn thing.’

Joel felt, for a moment, that he’d been tricked. He swallowed tar and glue down his throat, felt sawdust stuck to the roof of his mouth, collecting behind his teeth.

‘What happened to it, in the end?’ he asked, and Tommy sighed.

‘It deflated, then it warped. The rubber went kind of weird and it never looked right again.’ Tommy urged his horse forward, picking up the pace again as the road levelled out. ‘I left it in there. Didn’t feel I could get rid of it, but lookin’ at it made me sad.’

His little brother was right. Of course he was right. All this time he’d kept it buried under a pile of old clothes: beating but bleeding out through the cotton, protecting it, protecting her. Even after she was long gone. All that time his heart hidden at the back of the closet, stashed to keep the pain away, and taking all the goodness with it.

At the time, it had felt like saving himself. Locking it all away, letting it warp in the darkness, not caring that it took with it all the kindness, all the tenderness, not caring that without it the world turned almost entirely to grey. He had no use for colours without Sarah. Had no use for light.

Then one day he’d felt you, standing just outside the door, your hand pressed gently to the wood. He’d wanted you there and also couldn’t tolerate it. Craved you and stood, terrified, in your way. It had been too long, and he wasn’t even sure what it looked like in there anymore. Couldn’t account for what you might find.

Then Shauna had shown up and pulled the damn thing off its hinges, rifled around in there, hurled everything out of their drawers. He’d hurt so many people he’d cared about trying to shove it all back in again. Trying to bury it. Trying to hide.

And now, Ellie was gone. And you were out there, out in the wilderness beyond the wall, trying to find her, and he and his brother were riding into God knows what to pull her back. He cleared his throat trying to let out the sob but there was no masking it, the little whimper sneaking away over the top of his breath as he felt his brows saddle.

‘Jesus…’ he said. The way he had let her banish herself to the studio in the garage. The way he had known it was wrong and he’d let her do it anyway, just to keep the peace. Just to keep pushing it all down, the anger and the loss and the despair of it. ‘Tommy, I…’ he started, but he didn’t have the words for it, could speak for a thousand years and never find them.

His brother leant over and put a firm hand on Joel’s knee.

‘I’m so sorry…’ Joel sobbed, his voice catching on the words.

‘It’s OK, brother,’ Tommy assured him. ‘We’ll always be family.’

‘Yeah, but my girls…’ Joel said, feeling his heart kick up at the thought of you both. ‘Jesus Christ, Tommy, I’ve hurt my girls.’

You, grinning from his table in his kitchen after he finally made some decent mac and cheese. You, under Ellie’s paper stars in the mess hall, making magic for teenagers out of twenty-year old school supplies and determination. You, holding his arm and helping him breathe through it after he’d found Ellie’s studio empty, when the world opened up and swallowed him whole.

Your face fallin’ as you realised the eggs were a consolation prize. Your sweet body pressed against his as you practically begged him to stop hurtin’ ya, to leave you be. All the little ways he’d failed you, so wrapped up trying not to fail a girl dead twenty years.

‘You love her,’ Tommy observed, watching his brother’s face fall as he reckoned with all he’d avoided for so long.

‘Course I do, she’s practically my daughter,’ Joel muttered, blinking hard to clear away the tears.

‘Not her,’ Tommy said.

Joel felt little sparks across his chest. The kind that come from exposed wires, that start house fires in the dead of the night. ‘Yeah,’ he said, eventually, because he knew even then there was no sense in denying it, that his body wouldn’t let him even if his mind tried.

Tommy nodded, the two brothers falling into silence as they approached the outskirts of the town. For the first time in a while, he felt like his big brother was back.

Some of the houses looked well enough maintained that for a moment Joel struggled to remember the twenty years of decay. There didn’t seem to be any pattern to it; two houses in a row could be decrepit, roofs collapsing under the weight of rotten wood and the third almost entirely intact, as if the occupants were just called away for a surprise holiday that went longer than expected. It unnerved him, the unpredictability of it.

Proceeding on foot, the two brothers rounded on the town from the South, down behind what once would have been a soccer field, the bleachers standing untouched for decades, the paint peeling in the breeze.

The mud beneath their boots muffled their footsteps, but their progress was still frustratingly slow, if silent. Joel could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing, could feel the way his pulse thrummed erratic and needy in his chest. He wanted to bellow for Ellie, wanted to rip any man, woman or child between him and his daughter limb from limb. He saw the worried looks Tommy shot him from over his shoulder, both men inching forward with rifles raised. There were signs of activity, a campfire long snuffed out, fading tracks in the dirt. Joel had a sense for it, anyway, honed over years. Knew when he wasn’t alone. His eyes scanned the windows, watched for movement in the curtains, for reflections or shadows in the wrong places.

It was still. Quiet. Joel swallowed on a rough throat.

‘Something’s not right,’ Tommy hissed to him, his whisper catching on the wind. Joel nodded at him, held up a hand to be quiet. If they could get to higher ground they could survey the perimeter better, could figure out a plan of attack. He looked at the crumbling roof of what used to be the local library. Joel didn’t like the chances of standing on a shifting roof tile and breaking his neck, of making enough of a ruckus just trying to get up high enough to be able to look down.

Wordlessly, he gestured to Tommy to go left behind the library, while he went right towards what he guessed was the centre of the town. Tommy shook his head, a combination of terror and frustration on his face, but Joel knew it would be better to cover more ground. He wasn’t sure she was here, but if she was he knew he had to get her out, get to you, get you both to safety. Then, maybe, he could breathe.

His boots slipping in the mud, Joel went right, picking his way through abandoned cars and rotting fences until he came up behind a two-story wooden building with a crumbling staircase out the back. One hand still holding his rifle over his shoulder, he opened the door and stepped back, flush to the wall, listening for any outcry. Willing his hands to stop trembling he counted to five under his breath, before cocking the rifle over his shoulder and swinging his torso in through the door.

It looked like it had once been a post office, the backroom stuffed with dry paper and mildew. He could tell any packages had already been pilfered, that desperate travellers had already split open every box in the place to rifle for anything to eat, to drink, to trade. All that was left behind was ancient bills, handwritten notes to loved ones, letters hawking insurance. The air was heavy from the dust and the decay of drying paper and Joel stifled a cough into his sleeve. There were patterns in the dust, swirls of footsteps leading to the front counter, and Joel tracked them through to the shopfront. As he inched forward he saw on the ground a collection of blankets, a stained pillow, a book or two piled up neat in a pile. He nudged the heap with his foot, his rifle trained on it in case it made any sudden moves. The air was stale, the room draughty and unlived in for some time. Whoever had been here was long gone, Joel thought. Or at least, hadn’t been able to return.

A creak behind him caught his attention and before he’d even had time to consider it, he swivelled, rifle raised, to the direction from which he had just come. Tommy immediately raised his hands, eyebrows high enough to reach his hairline.

‘It’s me…’ he hissed, and Joel rolled his eyes, lowering the rifle to the floor.

‘I told you to go left’ he whispered, the sharpness of his words spearing the dust motes floating in the sunlight between them.

‘I did, but I don’t think we should split up. Something’s wrong out here, brother,’ Tommy said, and Joel could see he was scared, the way his eyes were darting around the room. Joel stepped back, revealing the heap of blankets at his feet.

‘What the fuck…’ Tommy muttered, coming closer to inspect it before Joel held out a hand to his chest and pushed him back.

‘Easy…’ he said, Tommy immediately shrinking back behind his brother.

‘Where’d they go?’ he asked.

‘Don’t know yet,’ Joel said. In front of him the front windows were boarded up, sheets of old paper stuck to the glass. Little shafts of light shone through the gaps. He shuffled forward, careful not to trip, and raised his eye to it, gazing out at the main street.

It appeared still. He shuddered. Wondered if he would have preferred someone to be out there just to ease the tension currently clawing at his throat.

He tried the door, and it creaked on its hinges as it swung open.

He felt Tommy behind him, coming up over his shoulder, lifted his rifle as they prepared to step out.

Even as the horse galloped underneath you, even as the breath was knocked from your chest every time the hooves hit the ground, you yelled over your shoulder to Shauna. To keep up, to hurry, to tell you what she knew about the layout of the town.

You could feel the rage in your belly, but you needed to find a way to tamp it down, to concentrate, as you headed down the road at full speed. Approaching from the west you could make out the way the streets curled around each other, cul de sacs that would make it impossible to see or hear from one end of the street to the other. Perfect places to hide out, but complicated to search.

You could see tracks, now, occasional footprints in the dirt beside the road, and it spurred you on even as the fear licked at your chest.

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ you screamed over your shoulder, your voice carrying in the wind.

‘You seemed so sure!’ Shauna called back, grunting under the strain of trying to stay upright on her horse. ‘I thought you knew her better than me.’

‘You couldn’t even mention it? That Joel and Tommy were heading into a nest of infected?’

‘I don’t know that they are, maybe they’ve all moved on…’

‘Shauna for fucks sake,’ you muttered, biting down hard on your teeth to stop the fury racing up your throat, clouding your vision. ‘Just tell me the fucking truth for once,’ you called to her.

‘I was scared, OK? I’m a bad shot. I thought…if there’s infected down there, who better to send than Joel and Tommy?’

You let out a shaky breath, trying again not to let the rage take over, instead scanning the horizon as the town loomed closer.

‘What was I supposed to do?’ Shauna continued. ‘Let’s be real, honey. I’m not the heroic type.’

‘There was so much you could have done,’ you said, pulling your horse up to slow, decaying fences and overgrown backyards appearing in front of you. ‘You could have fucking warned them, you could have been honest with Ellie in the first place. You could have…you could have told me when we were hours in to following the fucking river!’

‘OK, I’m sorry, I thought it was safer out of the way…’ Shauna said, struggling to manage her horse even at a slower pace. You reached over and held her horse’s reigns, pulling her along beside you.

‘You fucking coward,’ you said, suddenly exhausted. You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to will away the blooming ache behind your eyes.

‘Strategy,’ Shauna said, shrugging her shoulders. ‘You think you can make it this far in an apocalypse blundering into fights when you’re outgunned?’

‘So, you send other people to do your fighting for you.’

‘Other, more qualified people, sure.’

You pulled both of your horses up, slipping from the saddles. You took the second rifle from your horse.

‘Tell me you weren’t trying to get rid of Ellie,’ you said, point blank, staring her in the eye, as Rose cheered you on over her shoulder. ‘Tell me.’

Shauna glanced down at the rifle in your hands. ‘Of course I wouldn’t…’

‘Tell me. Say it. Say “I didn’t try to get rid of Ellie.”’

‘I didn’t try to get rid of Ellie,’ Shauna said, pouting.

You noticed the inflection. Weren’t surprised to hear it, not really. You knew Shauna’s type, the people who survive at FEDRA by being the biggest crabs in the barrel. Who pull others down to stand on their backs. Shauna may not have expressly set up the situation, not intentionally, but she was going to let it play out because she knew as well as anyone else that Joel wouldn’t withstand another loss like Ellie. Knew more than anyone that a weak man, a grieving man, a man so broken down by the world around him, is a man who will accept any arms willing to hold him.

‘You didn’t try to save her, either,’ you observed.

‘I’m here, aren’t I?’ she spat back at you. You nodded at her, throwing her the rifle.

‘Try not to shoot yourself in the ass,’ you said. You took a step forward, looking back at her over your shoulder. ‘Silent from now on. No more fucking talking.’

The road gave way to simple streets, little houses dotting the outskirts of the town. Over to the South you could make out a couple of taller buildings, maybe a library or a town hall. As much as you could, you stuck to the tall fences, hiding behind rotting fence palings and tree trunks thickened over twenty years uninterrupted by mankind. Above your head telephone wires blew free from their poles, waving like ribbons in the wind.

It would grow dark and cold before long. You shivered, scanning the houses for any sign of life. On this side of town things seemed more weather-beaten. You guessed that no-one, not even the raiders, had inhabited this area in a long while.

You saw Shauna waving to you out of the corner of your eye and you turned to her. She pointed to the end of the road, where it curved left towards the rest of the town. You nodded at her, watching as she fumbled the rifle in her shaking hands.

Following her, and putting more faith in her than she deserved in the process, you came around behind a motel. As she ducked down behind a dumpster you followed, squatting beside her so she could whisper in your ear.

‘That was where we were camped, in the motel. Another couple of rooms over was where the…others turned.’

You nodded, noticing now that some of the motel doors were ajar. The air smelt of rot and dirt, and you weren’t sure if it was the smell of the fungus or just general suburban decay. You watched for a while, the stillness setting your teeth on edge.

‘Were there others?’ you asked, and she nodded.

‘There was another camp, out by the gas station.’

You looked back at the motel. The breeze was blowing a curtain through an open window. Other than that, there was nothing to say anyone, or anything, was home.

‘We’ll try there,’ you said. Shauna nodded, gathering herself to stand.

‘It’s down behind the main street,’ she whispered, as you glanced up at the sky. You estimated you had maybe an hour before you’d need to find somewhere safe to camp overnight.

‘Should we try and find Joel?’ she asked you, and you shook your head.

‘No, we cover more ground split up.’

‘What if they’ve already found her?’ she asked, and you steadied yourself.

‘Then when we’re done searching we go back to Jackson, and we’re all very happily reunited with the girl we all care so much about,’ you hissed back. You could feel the top lip curling, exposing your teeth.

Shauna nodded, seeming for the first time to sense your fury.

‘Are you going to tell him?’ she asked, and you could see fear there. You stood up, pulling her with you.

‘Where’s the gas station?’ you whispered, and let her lead you on.

On the other side of town, Tommy and Joel were attempting to silently jimmy open the door to what appeared to be the town butcher. Joel felt his stomach roiling, steeling himself for what they might find inside.

‘You sure about this?’ Tommy muttered, and Joel shook his head.

‘Not at all, but we’re goin’ in anyway,’ Joel whispered back. He knew how cool rooms could be turned into cells. What things could be hung up on meat hooks.

Twenty years of neglect finally won out over the bolt, and the door swung open. Swinging his rifle over his shoulder Joel instead reached for his knife. In such close quarters the weapon would be useless, and he was suddenly realising he didn’t want to draw the attention of the rest of the town.

Beside him, Tommy sniffed. ‘Y’smell that?’ he whispered, and Joel nodded. Blood. Not fresh, but enough of it to still be lingering in the air. He held his finger to his lips to indicate silence. Tommy nodded, his eyes wide and adjusting in the dark.

Joel navigated around the counter to the back, stepping carefully over broken glass and trash. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a smattering of blood, droplets dried and tarry, leading from the main room to what he guessed was the cool room behind the door. Tucking his nose in under the neck of his shirt he silently pulled the handle.

The smell was overwhelming, the copper and bile. At first Joel thought the man had hidden himself away, that he had been running from his attackers. But then it didn’t make sense that he had bled to death, surrounded as he was by sticky clouds of dried blood. Maybe he had been dragged in here and left after an injury, maybe some kind of punishment, whatever might count for justice at the end of the world.

Joel saw it, then, the bloodied knife on the floor by the man’s hand. The clean slice of his wrist, travelling almost all the way up to his forearm.

‘Joel…’ Tommy said, peering in over his brother’s shoulder. ‘The ankle.’

And then it made sense, the bite mark peeking out from under the man’s pant leg.

‘He took himself off here to…’

‘In case the knife didn’t work, so he wouldn’t hurt anyone, I guess,’ Joel finished for his brother. Cool rooms make effective cells because they rarely have handles on the inside. Many an enterprising raider had discovered that fact in the last twenty years.

Bile rose in Joel’s throat and he swallowed it down. He wasn’t sure why it was, even after all these years, even after everything he’d done, that the scene in front of him was getting to him. Something about the way the man had tried to protect the others. Something about the sacrifice, the locking himself away to face the end on his own. Something about the love and the fear in it.

He turned away before it could work any further under his skin.

‘We should keep goin’,’ he said to Tommy, who nodded but still hadn’t looked away, eyes a little misty even in the darkness of the room around them.

Back out on the street the brothers considered their options. There had been only scant signs of life, and no sign of Ellie. Both were aware of the dwindling light, but the man in the cool room had been bitten, which meant there was still a threat.

‘I ain’t goin’ back,’ Joel said, as if he could read his brother’s mind. Tommy nodded.

‘We can hole up somewhere here tonight if we gotta,’ he agreed. ‘Should we go back and get the horses?’

Joel shook his head. ‘We keep searchin, wanna clear the main street at least. Then we go back to the horses, find a house with a garage, hide ‘em away til sunup.’

If Tommy had asked him, Joel wouldn’t have been able to say how he was so calm. He wondered if it was just years of survival, years of workin’ against impossible odds to stay alive. Wondered if his brain hadn’t caught up yet, that some part of him wasn’t even fully aware of what was actually going down. Wondered if it was knowing you were out there, searchin’ for his girl, that you were as stubborn as he was and loved Ellie nearly as much, that you wouldn’t give up on her, would never give up on her, and that between the two of you you’d have to bring her home.

You blinked cold air out of your eyes, straining to hear above Shauna’s sodden footsteps beside you. She held her rifle loosely, too loosely, as you gripped yours. She sighed, loud enough to attract attention, and you glared at her. Guilty, she shrugged, which you guessed was her best attempt at an apology.

You were making achingly slow progress, the bulk of the town behind you as you inched towards the gas station on the far perimeter. You didn’t like how exposed you were, even as you stayed close to walls and fences. Shauna was crap at checking her six, and your neck was aching from having to check it for her.

The light was dying, cold setting in. You shivered as the wind whispered your name.

You blinked, turning to Shauna. The other woman, distracted, was watching the road. You held still, straining your ears.

‘Teach…’ you heard, your heart hammering in your chest.

Taking three or four unwise steps into the centre of the road you swivelled your head, trying to locate her. Finally, just when you’d decided you were actually going mad, her little head popped up over the edge of a two-storey building to your left. It looked like it had once been a doctor’s office. The red of the door was peeling away to expose the wood.

‘Ellie!’ you stage whispered, waving your hands over your head as if she hadn’t already seen you, as if she hadn’t been smart enough to get to higher ground, to survey the area while keeping out of sight.

‘Ssssh!’ she motioned to you with her hands. You grabbed Shauna before she could take another muddled, deafening step, directing her gaze to the rooftop. You watched her eyes widen as she took in the teenager.

You were proud of her. So proud at her survival instinct, at her quick thinking. You beamed up at her, relief surging through your belly before you realised she wasn’t smiling back, was instead motioning to something around the corner. You saw the panic on her face.

‘What?’ you mouthed to her, and she rolled her eyes in return, because she was still, even in these most extreme circumstances, Ellie. Standing more fully upright she pantomimed a clicker, gnashing teeth and curled fingers and all, before gesturing again to the corner.

‘Oh fuck,’ Shauna whimpered beside you, and you clamped a hand over her mouth.

‘How many?’ you mouthed to Ellie, who held up two fingers. You shuddered. One you might have been able to handle, but two would require the participation of the woman you currently held gagged in your arms.

As silently as possible you let Shauna go, motioning for her to stay put, and came forward, spying a dumpster pushed up against a wall you could just vault yourself onto. Slinging the rifle over your shoulder you watched as Ellie disappeared behind the eaves of the building, reappearing at the gutter above you as you stretched on tippy toes towards her.

‘I can’t reach you…’ she whispered, her hand outstretched, before you shook your head, instead pulling your rifle around to the front of your body and handing it up to her. She shook her head, face going pale even in the fading light, but you insisted, bouncing on the balls of your feet to make her take it.

‘Be safe…’ you whispered to her. ‘Stay out of sight. Joel is coming.’

‘What about you?’ she whispered back, but you were already moving away, climbing down as quietly as you could to the cracked pavement below.

Shauna’s eyes were wide, watching the scene play out in front of her. She gripped her own rifle harder now, holding it fast to her chest, as if terrified you were going to pull it from her. As you made your way back to her, preparing to pull her back to the horses, back to safer ground, she took a step away.

‘Why did you give her that?’ she hissed, eyes swivelling between you and the corner.

‘She’s a good shot,’ you said, wondering if this was true but confident none the less that Joel would have taught her, wouldn’t have let her flounder, and that Ellie would have insisted on it even if he initially tried to resist.

Casting a look over your shoulder you saw her regain her position on the roof, her back to you as she watched the clickers around the corner.

‘We’ll find Joel, tell her where she is. So long as she’s up on higher ground she’s safe enough for us to get her out,’ you explained, as much as you could in a whisper, while you tried to grab Shauna and pull her away. As you took her arm you felt her shaking. You swallowed. You could see, now, the white knuckles on the barrel of the rifle. The sweat dotting her brow.

‘Shauna, we’re OK,’ you said, as low as possible, hoping that the wind would quiet your voice enough. ‘Just breathe.’

Her eyes swivelled back to you, putting you in mind of a doe staring down the jaws of a bear. You hesitated, the panic in her eyes making your stomach turn.

You heard it, then. A high-pitched squeak, a footstep. You felt your breath catch in your chest, your head turning achingly slow to the corner. Above you Ellie waved silently, rifle over her shoulder, terror in her eyes.

‘Oh shit…’ Shauna whimpered again, too loud, but you were frozen, unable to clamp your hand on her mouth again.

It had been so long since you’d seen one, and you weren’t sure you’d ever seen a clicker properly in the daylight. The bloom of fungus from the side of its head, obliterating its left eye, put you in mind of the coral you had tried to teach your students about, before Joel had whittled you a few visual aids. It lurched from side to side as it moved, one ankle twisted almost completely in the wrong direction, its clothes torn across its torso. It had been a man, a young man, you realised.

You could have sworn you’d seen that shirt before. Fleetwood Mac, the same as the one Tommy owned, before his belly grew from general safety and particularly proximity to the mess hall, and he donated it to the Jackson clothes swap. They used those clothes for when newcomers showed up with nothing. Like Shauna had. Like Steven, and Wren.

You felt your eyes start to water. Wren.

Unaccountable anger flashed up your spine then, jolting you into turning your back to him, rounding on Shauna. You wanted to scream at her, wanted to throttle her right there in the street, grab her chin and make her watch as he lurched towards them, the sum total of all her shitty decisions to this point.

But the sight of Wren had steeled something in her, too, you saw. The panic was gone, replaced instead with something colder, something burning brighter. You almost thought you saw a smirk appear on her quivering lips.

Gripping the gun to her chest she wrestled her arm free of you, with enough force to send you reeling, your arms wheeling around your body to stop yourself falling heavy to the ground. You righted yourself, staring deep into her eyes as she backed away. Somehow now she was moving more silently than she had all day, her eyes trained on you as you heard Wren lurching, sniffing at the air, behind you. He was maybe twenty paces away, swivelling, taking one or two steps in one direction, turning around and doubling back.

You stared at Shauna as she retreated from you. She was going to leave you here, was going to make off with the only weapon either of you had. She was going to let you be bit, was going to do nothing to stop it, was going to let you be the bait while she made it out. She was going to tell Joel it was an accident, that she couldn’t help you, say that Ellie didn’t have a good enough vantage point to see it the way she did.

And she would fucking smile as she did it.

You turned your head back to Wren, seeing that he had managed to advance several paces. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Ellie drawing her rifle, aiming for him, but you frantically motioned for her to stop. There was another clicker loitering somewhere beneath her and the shot would draw their attention, and if they crowded around the building she would have no way to get down.

You felt something still within you, something lift from your chest. For a moment you let your gaze drift up and away from the street to the mountain beyond you, watched the way the dusk turned the snow pink and orange in the last light of the day.

You supposed you had already decided, didn’t need to confer with Rose. You knew, standing in the middle of the street in that moment, that you would draw them to you, take off in a sprint past Wren and lead the other away from the building, hopefully far enough that Ellie could get back to your horse. With both horses and both rifles she and Shauna had a pretty good chance of making it back to Jackson.

Joel would have his girl back. You could be with Rose.

You considered, in this moment of calm, that perhaps it had all been leading to this. You crouched, readied yourself to sprint, shifted your weight to the balls of your feet.

Ellie’s voice rang out above your head, clear as a bell and straight as an arrow to the street below her. ‘HEY YOU FUCKERS, COME AND GET ME!’ she yelled, stealing the breath from your lungs.

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