#dissertation!Lucy strikes again

[esta-elavaris]

Do you have any writing YouTubers that you watch? Or writing streams and the like, I’d love to know what your writing process is like!! 💞💞

I don't have many that come to mind, I'm sorry! When it comes to creatives on YouTube I tend to lean more towards folk like Rachel Maksy and fibre artists rather than writers - I'm kind of leery of a lot of writing YouTubers because the ones I happen across give me the impression of being more concerned with looking like writers, or telling others how to write, rather than actually writing. Like one recently who tried to act like 2.5k words was insane and unrealistic and not doable.

It's the sort of thing that just can't be taught beyond reading a lot and writing a lot, even my creative writing teachers at uni flat out admitted as much and focused on helping us be the best writers we could be in our own individual ways rather than being all "you must write for three hours per night and before you start you must set your story out into this detailed plan" etc. so I always wince when I see influencers hitting out with advice like that, and a lot of them do because they want to be the ones with ✨the answers✨ // the "right" way of doing things, when there just? Isn't one? Like seeking out advice and new methods to experiment with is all well and good, but I've been in writing groups before where folk have posted showing off the stack of 30+ writing "how to" books they'd just bought (not an exaggeration), and like? At some point you need to just write, get feedback on it, and work things out from there, rather than reading theory and using that as an excuse to avoid actually writing until you've read all 34584 books about it...most of which will give wildly contradictory advice from one to the other. I get the temptation people have to be like "but if I read all of these books before I start my story, my story will be PERFECT from the very first draft!!!" but that's just not the case.

Fic is actually amazing in that respect because you can get feedback for your general style and test out what people do and don't like about it. It got me out of my habit of stupidly heavy introspection in every single chapter when people were like "bestie, enough" during Little By Little 🤡 Not saying there aren't any good writing-focused YouTubers out there! I just haven't found many that I vibe with 💀 my favourite booktubers are Emmie Reads and throneofpages, and CarolynMarieReads (who does also discuss writing!)

I do really really like book The War of Art by Steven Pressfield in terms of other media about writing, I reread it every now and then and I buy it for every creative in my life, it's phenomenal - a lot about how we get in our own way when it comes to creative endeavours and how to not do that, and how procrastination is the enemy. He's done quite a few podcast appearances, I think, if you don't want to get the book! I know Joe Rogan himself uhhh isn't great but his podcast is actually worth watching when he has a good guest, and Steven Pressfield is among them, but he's also been on others all over YouTube if you're not willing to tolerate Joe. Steven King's memoir On Writing was also good, from what I remember of it.

Mostly I just take the stuff David Goggins says, though, and apply it to creative avenues rather than the workout-geared stuff people usually use it for, but I get that he's not for everybody. He just makes a lot of good points about chasing fear and doing stuff when you don't want to, which is a lot of what I struggle with when it comes to writing, I'm always convinced each chapter is absolute dog crap until I'm told otherwise lol.

The content I engage with on that end of things does tend to be more mindset and general, though, rather than stuff that gets into the mechanics of writing. I'm pretty lucky in that I was obsessed with reading pretty much as soon as I learned how, and writing quickly after that, so I learned a lot by reading and mimicking whatever I was enjoying at the time before I'd been at it long enough to develop my own "style". Even now I can look at stuff I write and see the influences, there are just enough of them now that it ends up being its own thing, so I don't approach things from a very technical "ah yes, here I will use free indirect discourse because this will add depth to this character's perspective" or whatever, I'm just feeling my way through based on what I know has/hasn't worked in the past.

I'm not into the whole side of things where people present it as "your story should have X amount of beats and it should follow this graph if you want to write this genre, and these three tropes", it's too scientific and it takes the joy out of it for me, personally. I go into stories with a vague idea of what I want to happen and half of the fun is working out how to get there. I usually know like two or three things that will happen in a story when I start it and the rest just happens as I write. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't! The only indicator I tend to have is how much an idea scares me. The ones where I go in confident are always boring, the ones where I'm certain I won't be able to pull it off are always grand.

The best analogy I've heard for it is that it's like walking through the dark with a flashlight - as you move forward, you can see just far enough ahead that you know where you're going in the immediate future, but you don't know what's at the end of the road.

The only thing I'd really, really recommend, beyond lots of reading and experimenting with what works for you, is daily writing. I think my stuff improved so stupidly quickly when I started that, and the hardest part of writing is actually sitting down to write rather than the writing itself, so if you write daily you take the "ugh, I really should write today" out of it, and everything is easier from there. It's not even difficult, either, I've had days where my writing was done on my phone on the bus on the way to or from somewhere. It's just about showing up.

I hope some of this massive essay was helpful 💀 I'm super flattered that you're interested in my process! 💜 Feel free to ask any questions anytime I love an excuse to inflict dissertations on people.

[littlecafe]

my suband thoughts pt. 2

(me trying to make this post for the 3rd time now) i realized i wrote like a 10 page dissertation instead and i refuse to post all that so i’m just going to copy over a few and keep the rest in drafts for when i want to reference them later

i will include results and elimination spoilers in this post so if you want to avoid those then don’t read this one...i try to keep things spoiler free but i just. have things to say about the results specific to round 2 :-)

jtbc finally striking down accounts on twitter and instagram for posting suband content....i think tumblr is safe bc this website is dead so i’ll continue posting i guess??? they haven’t done anything to that one youtube that’s been posting all the performance videos too so who knows

should i start with more contestant based random thoughts first

i was scammed by jtbc teaser editor bc they used a clip of jeongho “singing” into the mic in their preview and i waited 2 whole episodes (his team performed last in round 2) for me to find out it was a autotuned mic and a vocoder HELP MEEEE SAKJFDSKF at that point literally i could only laugh 

but he plays contrabass? he actually majored in contrabass? or maybe that was his old major, he’s still in school atm since wonsang said they go to the same one but he had educational training on it which is really cool

wait a minute......now that i think about it, that same teaser clip also spoiled the result of yeji winning bc they showed us that she was sitting in the waiting room during eliminations even though they haven’t performed yet (which means we knew her team won AND they already showed us all the matchups before so we also knew who she beat) WHO WAS EDITING THIS LMAO and it wasn’t even a accidental leak like she was sitting in the background, it was literally her reaction as the main focus and everything omg

hwang inkyu hello??? he’s movning’s bassist and he has a combined total of maybe 3 lines of airtime so far i wish he’d speak more bc i was so scared he’d get his ass kicked off the show bc he wouldn’t have been able to make a lasting impression but thank god hwanglin picked him up and seems like he’s going to be moving on with his team in the next round too (good for them the stage was so good i wanted to post it but haven’t yet..)

i used to really like movning’s music but their music direction went into a style i don’t listen to much so i haven’t checked into them recently, tbh i didn’t even know they auditioned until i looked at the full list of contestants later because their stage was cut out and only inkyu made it in

park dawool and hwang hyunjo both have galaxy brains and i would trust them with my life - yea i will not elaborate much because this post is already long even after i shortened it bc i talk too much but hyunjo making entire ppt slides? to present her theories and ideas? yea she’s absolutely ready for everything, for real she’s carrying her teams to victory

leenzy’s 2nd round team was so strong that i thought she got to pick really early (since they showed us all the team formations before airing the actual performances with the behinds for pickings and stuff) but she was actually the 2nd to last pair?? so all that’s left is her > the guy she chose to be her opponent, and then the poor guy that gets to pick from the remaining 6 or so and the final team of the ones unchosen

i was really shocked to find out no one wanted nakyung and ahkyung when i thought they were some of the best :-( i really still can’t tell if the mixing of male and female was a good idea esp since it was so skewed male in the first place ugh in round 2 it seems like the girls are getting shafted???

out of the 6 girls (that can be picked since 3 are frontmen!), 3 of them were not picked up until basically the very end when you don’t really have many choices left...nakyung (guitar), ahkyung (drums), and sujin (vocals)...and they’re all really good?? sujin ended up on the second to last team (basically the last team if we’re being honest since the actual last team is sadly the band of leftovers) and i just don’t understand why they weren’t picked up earlier...i can understand sometimes vocalists can get shafted because the show starts out with a loooot of vocalists so it’s hard to find a place for all of them but guitar? drums? u can definitely pick them...there’s literally only 7 or so drummers to begin with and one has been glued to crackshot the entire time

before the season started i was already terrified that the girls might get shafted because jtbc didn’t want girls auditioning in the first place but it was fine in the first round but now the second round made me think about that again.....it’s worse when they spin the whole “yes!! all girl band!! girl power!!!” when the reality was they weren’t picked up this whole time. annoying.

but this blame has to be shouldered by jtbc bc they wanted to keep it all boys but bc of public reactions (rightfully so) they decided to let female contestants audition but then it turned out that they barely pass any female contestants so it’s still terrible?!! i’ll just write this up that teams are still trying to figure themselves out and work with different people for now....maybe i’m just worried for nothing

not to absolutely curse myself but i think most of my favorites might make it at least to round 4 and i feel like a decent amount will make it to semis so haha /knock on wood but i really hope this stays true...i just need nokdu to continue taking care of hyunsang and make city pop bops together because the judges seem to like that so far

i’m just worried about demian....the judges keep saying he’s improved so much but why do i feel like they will cut him as soon as they need to eliminate more people.....i’m not as worried about round 3 (unless his team falls on their face) but round 4 is where i’m really scared...it’s the last round before the real deal and in season 1 the round 4 eliminations hurt so bad...they cut like 9 people or something

i mean he has his own career as a soloist so he doesn’t need a band like some of the other contestants but i think he really enjoys being in a team with others, honestly i don’t even know if his company would allow for him to be in a side band? even if he were to make it? like mone made it but all their members had solo careers and with the rose and woosung having problems it must be way they just decided to stop after the show unlike the other semis teams purple rain, lucy (they did have a vocalist change since joohyuk stayed with his current band gift), aftermoon (but i guess their dj dropped out i don’t know what happend with dpole??), and of course the winners hoppipolla all continued making music together under the same name

honestly if he makes it past the judges i don’t even know if the public would vote for him, atm his popularity with the public seems nonexistent? lol but to be fair, for most contestants it’s like that, but i do wish he’d become more popular

actually should i be more worried for haeun...she plays classic guitar and usually they don’t like classic leaning instruments but she showed she can sing so i hope she gets to stay

there’s danny too but i think i have given up on him making it until the end, the only way is if he manages to stay on teams that win so he’ll never be up for elimination but i feel like they’re out to get him TT_TT

but i’ve condensed my solid favorites to just demian, yeji, haeun, and jeongho...maybe i’ll pick a 5th eventually but i still like everyone i put in my first post! i really want hyunsang to make it far though bc the vibraphone brings me so much joy so he can be honorary 5th for now

about eliminations though, right now the judges have eliminated less than last season which is odd for jtbc because i feel they keep to their formats almost exactly so now i’m just ?????? if there’s still more people currently....what is going to happen? are they going to make the judges cut more during rounds 3 and 4? or they trying to equalize the semifinals teams since last year some teams had 4 people while others had 5? are they going to do the unthinkable and give us more rounds or semifinal teams? (i wish) anyways kinda scared to see what round 3 eliminations bring now...

the actual eliminations have been mostly as expected for me, still sad but i guess since i sensed it coming it became more a feeling of like “it couldn’t be helped” and also early eliminations hurt less in general because you had less time to get to know the contestants which is why i’d rather they just eliminate now than later if they were going to do it anyways like pls spare me the pain (but this is selfish and contestants probably want to stay as long as possible)

one surprising one was ludi??? he’s a dj but he’s literally done nothing wrong so far i was just wtf??!! when they eliminated him like it felt out of nowhere.....i feel like djs have so much potential on this show because of all the sounds they have access too but i guess the judges aren’t found of edm noise

also demian nation we rise at dawn, when he said “i’m not okay” like- this song really meant a lot to him too i hate thisssss

PLS I JUST WANT HIM TO WIN ONCE SO BADLY but next time, thanks to kfans detective work on the teaser, it looks like junseo (the smol piano child) picked him and jeongho to be on his team (maybe there’s a 4th member too??) and i am putting my faith into that team now pls help my winless boys

the fact that jeongho is winless is almost funny to me because it’s also obvious he’s a judges favorite but i mean that doesn’t translate to wins just i’m pretty sure he’ll make it to the end regardless (like bohoon the vocalist of purple rain lost all 3 /technically all 4/ rounds and still made it), he plays bass and no bassist has ever been eliminated on the show yet so cheers to that

round 4 was special since they switched over to a number format and no band versus band i don’t remember if the team with the top points were immune to elimination or not (or maybe just an unwritten rule bc why the heck would you do that to them after giving them the best score) but the rest of the teams were fair game - which is exactly why this elimination round is the scariest and not good for my heart especially after i had spent weeks watching them sing and have fun..........

ok now to complain about the judges AGAIN: why are the judges thoughts on what they want in a band so damn similar anyway?

i mentioned this in my first post already about how i dislike the judging atmosphere

but now i actually see it...in the numbers...like s1 there was a bit more taste diversity within the judges but now i feel like i’m seeing a lot of 4:1 or 5:0 scores so i went to see the breakdown out of the 15 stages we had so far

5:0 score - 6

4:1 score - 7

3:2 score - 2

compared to s1 (out of 14 only because they edited out one pair of battles completely so we never knew their score...)

5:0 score - 2

4:1 score - 6

3:2 score - 6

looking at that...it makes me feel sad....especially in the early 2 rounds it must be demoralizing to keep getting met with 5:0 loss and to be very honest and in s1 the number of 5:0 did increase in round 3 but that was when more teams started to figure themselves out so it makes sense that some would start pulling ahead

i’m really tired of listening to the judges agreeing with each other all the time, it makes it seem like the vision they have for the band was already set from day 1 unlike in s1 where everyone went in with no expectations because it was a brand new program, zero expectations, zero fans, just some kids wanting to make music and that’s what it should be like....music shouldn’t be limiting like this, the judges seem a little closed minded and now i’m 100% sure they have certain band styles in mind (i don’t know if it’s the judges only or if it’s jtbc producers too that’s causing this)

and i see other ifans saying this exact same thing on twitter now too so it’s not just me that picked up on this so safe to say we can’t all be extremely sensitive right

like the contradictory comments -

dongheon’s 2nd round team was told their original song was great and lovely but they brought nothing new to the table and that it was too standard, “just like any other rock/rock ballad song” when i thought the leenzy’s team (the one they went up against) also had a pretty standard? pop rock song? absolutely nothing wrong with it either, even the judges said that the song was not complicated at all but complimented them on their “band feel” so i guess as long as they enjoyed the vibe of the team and it suited the type of band style they have in mind it’s suddenly fine to make a simple song

i’m not saying her song was worse than his (i enjoyed both and seeing original songs performed make me very happy), i’m just a little confused at the judges comments for them both especially when one performed after the other, you really don’t see the bias in your words?

dawool was told his song composition in the first stage was a little too...nuanced(?) and that they wish he could just keep thing simpler even though he thought he toned down already and kept things simple, so round 2 he decided to just work with someone that makes mainstream music (davii) to fulfil what the judges want

seulong’s 2nd round team decided to go heavier on the instrumental side because they figured they didn’t want to go head to head with one of the favorite vocalists of the show (sorry yeji, ur my queen but ur also the judges’ queen too :---( ) but got criticized for a similar reason...yoo heeyeol saying that their composition was “fun for the brain” but if he were thinking about the general public he doesn’t think they would like this type of music, literally saying that the general public do not have the music knowledge or brain capacity to understand all the skill based playing going on musically and so won’t enjoy it because it wouldn’t appeal to their hearts................(ok sure call us dumb it’s true but won’t appeal to our hearts? music can sound intricate and fun? we can enjoy some funky strings guitar riffs without actually knowing all the details ya know)

they also kept telling them (seulong’s team) “oh i loved this” “i wish there was a band like this” “very cool” and gave them no votes??? if you wish a band like this exist then why? would? you? not? vote? for them??? like i can’t tell if those were consolation comments or what 

man judges rant ended up being long asf and i’m usually not affected by them and what they say but i was already feeling an odd vibe from the beginning and now seeing 5:0 after 5:0 after 5:0 really did it for me

overall, a not very fun post to read through it’s just more ranting than anything....i’m dying for a big pop off performance so i can successfully gauge the public opinion so far but i’ll refrain from posting my guess until at least the end of round 3, also i believe the team vibe usually outweighs solo popularity but we don’t know any teams yet (at least i can’t guess anyone yet like i could in s1) so we will still have to see!!

i’m pretty sure only i would look and read through these long ass posts of mine lol but if anyone makes it this far i hope you enjoy my crazy ramblings and see you in my suband thoughts pt.3 

[esta-elavaris]

Hi!

Sooooo, I was wallowing in self pity because there was no HWFG (no pressure to write or update! I just can’t be normal about that story) so I went to check your ao3 and was surprised to see that you’re a fellow James Norrington truther! It inspired me to rewatch the first two pirates of the Caribbean movies and I kinda fell into the norrington rabbit hole again.

That made me read fallen through time and I honestly became OBSESSED so when I was done with the chapters you posted for that story I immediately turned to catch the wind and,,,,,,, [insert unhinged meme about ripping out guts]. I started reading it on Saturday and I couldn’t put it down so I read through two nights and am now tired as fuck, sitting at work, trying to appear busy while still reading your story. What have you done to me!!! I just read the wedding night chapter (I’m going insane, that had no business being so hot???) and honestly, that was so rewarding? Very well written smut aside, the slow burn was soooo good and there were moments where I had actual tears in my eyes??? Theo’s pain when she overheard Elizabeth accepting James‘ proposal? AH!!!! I adore their relationship. The banter, the soft moments, their conflict, their quiet conversations (though I must say I maybe even like it more in fallen through time? He’s just so mean, suspicious and stupid at times in that one, I live for that). I feel like theyre the definition of „she fell first, he fell harder“ and at one point i was really reminded of something I’ve read elsewhere… it was something like „you’re looking at me with purpose“ and that’s just so spot on for James? He’s so devoted to her it makes my heart melt.

On that note, it’s so impressive how much research you’ve done?! And how much thought you’ve put into everything? It’s not easy to write for that time period (I say as a person with two degrees in history lol), especially when it comes to balancing the cultural differences between norrington and Theo? That made everything even more fun to read.

And it’s so impressive how you manage to have this story follow the events of the movies but for it to never become boring or repetitive? You manage to capture the characters we all know and love so well while also making them your own. Your James, of course, is spot on, but also Elizabeth and will? And in all honesty, I maybe like your jack sparrow more than the canon one. He serves as comic relief so much that you sometimes forget he’s a seasoned pirate and much more intelligent, provident and even dangerous than one might think. He feels much more human in your story in my opinion. And that moment where he returns to Tortuga and confronts Theo about the cannibals? I laughed so loud that my bf woke up lol

Okay so I’ll stop rambling now, I just wanted to drop by to tell you how much I love your work and how glad I am that I checked out your norrington/theo stuff. Theo is amazing and I love them both so much. My boss just left the building and I sure will spend the rest of my time at work today reading, they don’t pay me enough anyway. I so hope that her attempt at changing James’ fate will work out and I’m very anxious but also excited to find out where this all goes!

Sending love and appreciation from Germany!

I know I'm on a tumblr break but this is too nice and it has me crying too much to leave it to gather dust in my inbox 🫠🫠🫠

Thank you so so so so SO much!!!

Honestly Catch the Wind will always have a special place in my heart (the people who have sat and watched me continue to talk about it ~14 months after it was finished are like "we know, babe") because I wrote it like, being somewhat fond of Norrington but mostly to get the idea for a Boromir fic out of my system, and instead I ended up sick over Norrington and still writing the Boromir fic anyway. Buuut I mean I got my favourite project so far out of it so I can't complain, I just laugh at how I played myself. Tbf tho, it was a great thing because POTC was a great stepping stone towards even more intimidating LOTR territory!

I'm so glad the smut was decent, too! That was the first story I've ever written it for and I was so nervous about it 💀 I do completely agree with your view on Theo and James as a couple though - the falling first/harder, and the "you're looking at me with purpose" both. I just don't think he'd ever be the type to get complacent. He's not a man who lays on the charm to win the girl, before thinking "what's the point in continuing to try?" once he "has" her. I see him as being such a ride or die, insanely loyal, "that is my WIFE", Gomez Addams coded guy, I love him for it. Those sitcom coded jokes where a guy hates his wife the second he marries her would be the very opposite of his kind of thing. That's why I had so much fun giving him that back in Theo, considering Elizabeth doesn't return his feelings in the movies.

And I mean, I don't think he's owed that from her and I don't think less of her for not returning those feelings, she can't help it (although I do raise my eyebrows at anybody who'd choose Will over The Noz, but people are allowed to be wrong ig), and I think if anything it'd be worse if she did marry him in the end without having that same level of feeling, but it was just so nice to give him someone as dedicated to him as he was to her in Theodora 🥹 I also think Boromir has a lot of that in him, so I'm very excited about his future with Sybil.

I'm also so thrilled to hear the research went appreciated - a lot of it was very fun, like if I hadn't done an Eng Lit/Creative Writing degree, I would've gone into history (I actually almost did do a second degree in history but the funding didn't work out, so I stick to just reading a lot, which I'm cool with), and like most of it was fun, but there were times when I was googling a) the origin of the coffee table, and b) 18th century equivalents of a coffee table/accent table at 4am for the sake of one throwaway line where I did wonder about my path in life. I swear, I deep-dived into it in the notes usually because I at least wanted to make it clear when I had done my research vs when I was knowingly deviating (a few unknowing mistakes did slip through but I think how much research otherwise went into it kind of makes people more willing to overlook a mistake here and there?) but also because it meant I could get more out of said research binges than just one unnoticeable line in a random paragraph 🤡

And JACK. God. I could write a dissertation on Jack. What they do to his character in movies 4/5 are 90% of the reason I don't like them and have only seen them once each. The other 10% is that uhhh they're just crap. Like it's so, so clear in the first three - mainly because of JD's fab acting - that the eccentric thing masks a lot of intelligence and cunning. He'll do his whole "weirdo" shtick, and I don't even think it's entirely an act, I think he is truly eccentric to an extent, but there'll just be these really brief moments where there's just a gleam in his eye, or he'll be suddenly serious for 0.5 seconds and you see what's going on behind the mask, and you realise it is a mask. Whereas in 4/5 it turns into a thing of "idiot who bumbles around and finds his way by sheer luck", which was never what he was in the trilogy.

I also think his crew's reaction to him shows that he is more than willing to be a hardass captain when it comes to it - the moment off of the top of my head is when Cotton's parrot goes "walk the plank" in movie two and his gun is immediately out and he's not happy and they all kinda startle a bit. But even without glimpses like that, like, they're pirates. If he was weak, and he wasn't willing to be stern and not take shit, they wouldn't follow him, and he wouldn't be half as infamous as he is. They know he's odd, but it's clear they respect him, so he must have earned that respect.

He was the one I was most scared of having to write going into this thing (along with Barbossa and Beckett), because he's so easy to get wrong. I'm always so, so thrilled when I hear I did him justice!

Okay, I have written you an entire dissertation here, so I'll stop now and just say again THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!! 💜💜💜 I've read this like ten times since I first received it, it had me grinning like an idiot every single time, I'm so grateful -- and I hope you like what I have in store for HWFG! The wait shouldn't be tooo long, I'm taking April off of posting but not writing, so ideally I'll have something to post in the very beginning of May!

(and I'll reply to your other ask in a bit, I just wanted to make it clear I wasn't ignoring this!!)

[esta-elavaris]

Hiiiii! I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA for a while. This definitely doesn’t mean I’ve stopped reading the incredible fic that is FTT!! I FINALLY had the chance to sit down and go through all my backlog of James/Theo goodness which has had me literally living my best life. I swear I love these two dorks with all my heart: the ball and James’ continued analysis of Theo’s character, how he continues to try to find reasons to dislike her but the more he tried the more curious and drawn to her he is.

The LIBRARY SCENE I SWEAR THAT WHOLE THING IS LIKE SO PERFECT I WAS IN LOVE WITH THE WHOLE THINGGGGG. I mean BOOKS 😭😭😭😭. Books as courting tools is my kink I swear. I mean not that they are courting or anything but the undeniable undertones of attraction are there and I am so here for it.

Also, James without a wig, in a *scandalous* state of relaxation, yes please. Then them pining for one another when they don’t yet know that they are pining for each other is so precious, all

under the guise of yeah sure he’s being nice because he wants to catch her unawares. And seriously, have I said it before? COURTING THROUGH BOOKS AND BEING ADORABLE BOOK NERDS BE STILL MY HEART 😭😭😭😭😭

And Elizabeth just being all matchmakey I seriously love how you write her and her friendship with Theo is the best (I know I always say this, but IT BEARS REPEATING!). I really liked how you hinted at Theo’s plans to return home and how she might be feeling some guilt over it because of, potentially, how that might affect Elizabeth, and I cannot wait to see how that all plays out in future chapters.

Also, I don’t know if I’ve told you before, but I seriously love your attention to detail in the way you write, beyond the plot, I mean. I love how when you’re writing from Theo’s pov the language is much more modern and you include all these references to technology etc., and when you write from any other character’s pov you adjust the language accordingly. I’m sorry if this is a really dumb comment on my part but I always notice this and I find it makes reading your story all the more enjoyable, and all the easier to become immersed in each scene. Seriously, I cannot fangirl enough. This story, and the way you write these characters, are amazing and your updates never fail to brighten my days!

As thanks for your tireless service to the community lol here’s a gif of our man being all adorable, which coincidentally is also a graphic representation of me sitting down to read your new updates 😌

HELLO 💜 first off I'm very sorry for how stupidly long it took me to reply to this -- but while it waited in my ask box, I read it several times across the last week and it made me smile like an idiot every single time, so it truly was the gift that keeps on giving.

Secondly, there is absolutely less than no need to apologise to me - life happens, I understand, the stories will always be waiting here when you're able to get to them! I'm glad the backlog was able to provide a wee bit of entertainment 🥰

Someone pointed out to me recently that books as courting tools is a recurring theme in my fics and it was not intentional but I'm not mad about it 💀 the heart wants what it wants. I do think Theo would be such a good chance for James to sit and discuss books with in like, a serious way because I don't think he'd have a chance to do much of that with a woman? Not because she's ✨not like other girls✨ and that the ladies already there wouldn't be up to it (Elizabeth is super sharp, we see her read in the first movie, and she won't be the only woman with a brain in Port Royal), but because she doesn't have that same social conditioning that might inhibit the women already there in a discussion?

Like we see a bit of how Elizabeth isn't totally herself around James the same way she is with Will, mostly in the first movie - she reverts into polite proper lady mode and smiles and nods and does what is expected of her, and I just don't think it would be approved of in that time/setting if a woman was to sit and properly debate a book with a man, for fear that it would be unladylike or off-putting. Theo is fine with being unladylike and off-putting, usually. Meanwhile James is like 😍 yes queen debate Marcus Aurelius with me xoxo

Plus, she's had a bit of a rougher life than most ladies there (albeit not as rough as James speculates) so she'd be able to apply that to the philosophy books that they're exchanging, rather than debating it purely theoretically, and I think it would have James discovering a whole new kink (the lesser known Aladdin song).

Hhhh okay that rant got out of hand, I do apologise! I'm loving the focus on Elizabeth and Theo's friendship, too - I feel like they're able to get so much closer in this version of events because Theo doesn't need to be half so guarded with her as she did in the OG fic.

RE: the differing character voices depending on the POV thing -- thank you so much 😭 I do make a big effort with that, I like to joke that James' perspective is just my old academic essay voice dressed up in a trenchcoat (or, er, a powdered wig) it's not a dumb comment at all, I'm thrilled that it doesn't go unnoticed! It's also just so fun to have James being all like "ah, yes, that inexplicable turn of events would truly be a calamity" then we jump to our leading lady and she's like "oh for fuck's sake" -- they're meant for each other, truly.

Again, thank you so much!! 💜💜💜 Life is A Lot this month and this was just a shining beam of glorious golden light in the middle of it and I'm very very grateful. So grateful I could almost respond with a dissertation. Oh wait, looks like I did 👉🏻😎👉🏻

[esta-elavaris]

Hello! Same anon as yesterday for Catch the Wind - I just wanted to add that I really love that you research things! It is so nice to see that you don't just use stereotypes of the genre. It is very refreshing as someone who takes interest in historical things! And it shows through but you don't write down all the research so it's not becoming a history book (which I personally would still read lol) but it shines through. And of course there are bound to be inacuracies because they come from the very movies themselves BUT that is ok because everything else is so well done that it just neatly sits there. Suspense of disbelief and all that I mean magic and Achtland and Jones exist soo. It doesn't HAVE to be 100% accurate but it has a very good foundation in historical stuff! (Also I am by far not an expert of anything history but still)

So thank you for not only creating and writing these characters so well but also for putting them in an invironment that I thoroughly enjoy!

Oh and. And thank you that Theo doesn't fall into the "I'm not like other girls" trope! She is strong and independent but also she doesn't have to complain about the dresses all the time in order to be so. Or the corset trope.

I just love your story so much!!

Honestly it was always kinda funny when I ended up having to do historical deep dives for the sake of literally one throwaway sentence, which was why I usually ended up putting full explanations in my notes - not just as a way of being like "I do know what I'm doing sometimes lol" but because if I could put two or three paragraphs rambling about it at the end, I didn't feel like I'd just spent an hour digging into the next best historical alternative to a coffee table would be.

Thank you! 💜 I'm glad you enjoyed it! Avoiding the whole "not like other girls" thing was really important to me, not just because it's a gross trap to fall into. Literally the first thing I decided going into the story was that Theo and Elizabeth had to be friends, I really didn't want to make more of a thing than was wholly necessary of "boo hiss she's my competition, she's evil" especially as Elizabeth didn't return Norrington's feelings, so like? If she was a rival at all, she didn't even want to be, really? The idea of her always being at odds with the only really super prominent female character from the thing left a bad taste in my mouth. Also because it could just get so exhausting so quickly.

And it just felt so much more real and uh? More mature? I guess? For her to not mind the gowns and the dressing up for social occasions, rather than going down some weird route where she whines about the whole thing the way some 14 y/o emo kids pretend that the sight of pink makes them physically sick. Like she's a bit of a tomboy, but I never saw her as not being comfortable in her femininity either.

Like, if by the time the real drama and hardship hits, Theo has already spent 50k words by that time whining and complaining about having to wear skirts, basic gender rules of the time (deservedly or not, in that case), and crop tops being out of the question, the high-stakes hardship doesn't feel weighty, it just feels like yet another thing for her to complain about? I think she's a pretty pragmatic character, she can mostly roll with the punches, she's not going to choose something like skirts or corsets as her hill to die on, even if she finds them impractical at times. Plus I think she'd recognise that she was pretty lucky with James in that respect, because he's not really a "women should be seen and not heard" type of lad.

Plus, I know it was an actual plot point of the first movie and all, so I can mostly wave it away because of that, but the whole corset thing is one of the few things I do not like about the first one and the whole "you like pain? try wearing a corset!" line always makes me cringe 💀

But yeah, the movies having little slips like that really helped because it kinda gave me permission to play around with things a bit more than I could if it was 100% historically sound. Like you said, inaccuracies absolutely slipped through (some I was aware of, undoubtedly some that I wasn't, too), but I tried to approach it from a standpoint of like, if the majority of it was historically sound and reasonable enough, people would be more willing to suspend disbelief where it mattered because the rest felt believable.

I am so sorry for this beast of an answer 💀

[esta-elavaris]

Do you have any advice for someone trying out writing for the first time? No matter if it’s fanfiction or an original work is there something you would suggest or a mantra you try to go by? Or maybe advice you would have told your younger self?

I started stupidly young (like I decided when I was nine that I wanted to be an author) so I can't specifically remember what worked for me when I started, but I still have a few things that I think/hope will be helpful! There was a period around 2017-2019 where I wrote an abysmally small amount because of shitty mental health and then I revamped/reclaimed my writing habit at the very beginning of 2020 and there are a few things that were helpful there.

This book is very, very good (The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, if the link doesn't work) to the point where I literally buy it as a gift constantly for creative folk in my life. It's a very quick read, I reread it often, and it frames procrastination and that sort of self-conscious anxiety that makes writing difficult at times in a really new and clever way. The author has done a few podcast appearances if the book isn't something you can access.

Another person who I've found really inspiring/motivational is David Goggins - his stuff is more overtly tailored towards physical exercise and that sort of realm, but what he says can absolutely be applied to creativity, too, but he's a bit more of a divisive figure - some people love him and his brand of encouragement, others despise it. He has a couple of very good books, a tonne of podcast appearances, and he posts smaller clips on IG. Personally, I adore it, he's one of my favourite humans.

At the heart it's all about not letting the shit your mind tells you impact what you actually do, and a massive part of writing (at least for my anxious self) is ignoring that voice in the back of your mind screaming that every sentence/paragraph/chapter is hot shit and you should just quit. So I don't really have specific mantras, just stuff by those guys as well as a few different songs that hype me up.

In terms of specific advice, the game changer for me was deciding to write every single day as a rule. It's the best thing I ever did for my writing. The original plan was to only do it for the entire year of 2020 to get back into good habits, but then that year ended and I haven't stopped yet, with no plans to do so - I'm literally on my 1200th+ consecutive day right now. It's tough for the first few months, especially when you're getting used to consciously making time for it (I've literally written on my phone at bus stops, or when everybody else has gone to bed at a sleepover/party, the works to maintain the streak), but eventually it becomes second nature. Not every day can be good and groundbreaking, but you have to get through the mediocre days to earn the great ones and writing as much as possible sort of streamlines that process. Creativity is like a muscle in that regard, the more you use it and the more you show up, the more it'll show up for you.

Kind of linked to that last point, I'd also recommend working on a couple of different things at once. That way if you're stuck on one project, you can switch to the other - and by the time you get stuck on the other one, you'll probably be ready to go back to the first one. It's a good way to keep writing and keep yourself in the habit of writing even if you're taking a break from one specific thing. I could never just work on one thing 24/7 because I'd end up getting painfully bored and it would show in the project.

ALSO final bit of technical advice - the pomodoro technique is great for this sort of thing. There are plenty of YouTube videos that do the timing for you if you search for stuff like "study with me pomodoro" etc. and it frames things in a much more doable light. It breaks down your time into 25 minute chunks of work, and then rests in-between, so working on a project no longer feels like "man I need to write a whole chapter", it's just "I need to write for 25 minutes".

Finally, books in general are your best friend. Not just for inspiration, but because they can really help with insecurity. If I think I use too many dashes as punctuation, I pick up a few books and go hunting for them and see I don't use a stupidly higher amount than some of my favourite authors. If you look at books as a writer, you can find paragraphs that exist just to get the characters from point A to point B without containing any groundbreaking bits of literary prose. The sort of stuff you don't usually notice if you're just reading as a reader.

You can even find passages you don't personally like but that don't ultimately detract from the book being good (or if it does in your opinion, you can probably then find droves of people online who ADORE the book and think it's perfect, which is a good reminder of how subjective this whole thing is - I love reading negative reviews of my favourite books for that reason, it's a good reminder that there's no pleasing EVERYBODY so there's no point in trying) just to counteract any perfectionist tendencies.

Essentially, write as much as possible, read as much as possible, and have fun doing it. The only thing I'd really tell my younger self is to keep going for it, and to never quit.

This is a whole ass essay now, sorry about that -- if there's anything specifically that I didn't talk about, feel free to lmk. And thank you for asking! I'm majorly flattered that you'd want my advice on the topic 💜 good luck!