#disordered eating ment /

[senerist]

you may only have half

you do not feel entitled to it, but it is all you have.

When the kindly clerics would take you to mass, they directed you towards your knees and smiled so wide when you held your hands together as they did. The goddess they prayed to was not yours, however, because not even a goddess would love a wretch like you. Either the god is different for you and they, or the clerics don’t recognize the goddess’ clear flaws.

So it is when they offer you bread and water and encourage you to eat your fill, you pretend to be a little less hungry than the truth. you know logically that your body needs fuel to continue, but you can’t pray to their goddess the way they want from you. It’s only a matter of time before they realize you’re lying, and they’ll make you vomit up the food you didn’t earn before never feeding you again.

you do not feel entitled to it, but it is all you have.

When the mercenaries surprise you with a sweet roll and candle, you cried your throat sore. They didn’t know that you are lying to them. They believe that your existence is a thing to celebrate, that your name-day is as important as Ike’s. you worried they would see through you when you didn’t know what to do with the lit candle, and they would throw you to the streets.

So it is that your friend sits with you until you cry yourself exhausted, without tears but still finding it difficult to catch your breath. you know you’ve disappointed him. you’ve disappointed them all, but it’s better than telling them the truth.

you do not feel entitled to it, but it is all you have.

When Ike’s father passes, you leave every one alone. you are nothing but rough and mean. Any condolences you have to offer will be sarcastic, or double-edged, and nobody needs that right now. In fact, nobody needs you right now.

So it is that you slip into a crumbling room far enough away from anyone else that you can sit with your own grief. It isn’t enough to make you cry this time, and that’s likely a disservice to the man you’ll mourn for the rest of the year. Then again, it isn’t as though you deserve to feel so deeply about it. He was not your father, he was some one else’s, and you were supposed to have been an adult by now.

When Titania grabs you by the wrist, you go limp instantly. Struggling only gets you hit, you learned that long before you met her. Mist isn’t touched like you are. She’s barely kept from the door, from his side. It isn’t your father that Ike is avenging, after all, and it isn’t your magic that can best keep Ike safe.

So it is that when Titania’s convinced you won’t run in, she releases you, and you pretend as though you’re not fleeing to a quiet corner to pull yourself back together. you’ve grown, and so you don’t cry where people can know it. But you don’t cry. your chest seizes and you feel paralyzed, you worry you may suffocate with the sudden difficulty you have in taking breath. Crying would have been easier. At least it doesn’t kill you.

When Elincia Ridell Crimea is crowned queen, she has Ike escorting her to her address. It’s customary that he holds her hand. It doesn’t matter how stiffly they hold their arms or how carefully Elincia moves, you feel an acute pain in your heart to see them side by side. you knew this would happen.

So it is that you watch from a window, a chance glance pulling your attention away from parchment and towards an event you’d decided not to attend. The newly crowned queen addresses her people, but you can’t hear it. Even if you could, you wouldn’t have listened. The whole time, your eyes are fixed to man beside her, and your imagination fills his mind with thoughts and feelings.

When Mist collapses in battle, Ike is to her side almost instantly. you watch his arm wrap around her waist before he hoists her in his arms and rushes her to safety. you wish he would do the same for you, but that would require getting hurt, and you don’t allow yourself to cause undue burden for him.

So it is that you need an arrow whizzing by your head to bring you back to reality. you can’t allow yourself such feelings, either. Such things would only lead to further heartache.

And you do not deserve such feelings. But this is all you have.

[beeelderly]

whoevers paying tumblr to put intermittent fasting bullshit in front of me needs to die badly

[tangledinink]

whining. pouting. sulking, even. he better not use my NICE body wash...

✩ the gemini ✩ [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]

[wickjump]

horror and killer but they’re underweight due to horror starving for 7 years and coming out of that with an eating disorder, and killer being incapable of figuring out when his body needs to eat and just Not doing that when he needs to

and then there’s dust who eats more than he did as sans because as long as it makes him forget he wants to kill himself he will eat whatever the hell he’s given as a distraction. everything is a distraction to him. and i think that’s fun

it’s okay killer and horror gain weight eventually once horror figures out how to not throw it all up and killer is pressured into a normal eating cycle don’t worry

[saaad-and-alone]

No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda,No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda No quiero ser la amiga gorda No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, No quiero ser la amiga gorda, NO QUIERO SEE LA AMIGA GORDA

[pigeonwinnin]

TW: disordered eating mention

Lately I keep sitting in front of the mirror and wondering what I’ll have to lose to be loved. At what weight will I not be tossed aside anymore? What pant size will make me important to people in my life. How will a dress need to fit me to have my awkwardness and anxiety be seen as enduring instead of socially isolating. What bodily ratio will make sure that I’m never abandoned again.

It’s illogical to think that a number in this sense is security against emotional pain. I know deep down it might not fix anything. But it’s all I have left and I need to try because I’m so tired and scared right now. I don’t want to be unloveable for the rest of my life.

[gay-jewish-bucky]

[little-blurry]

[senerist]

soren is slipping back into bad habits, and there's no one here to stop him. he hardly takes full meals anymore, and since becoming a professor here, he hasn't sat down and eaten in the dining hall once. he usually takes more food than he can eat and hides it away just in case, and it usually goes bad before that opportunity arises.

At least he's eating. That's plenty enough.

Unfortunately, he has already made up the plate of too-much food when he notices sothe sitting at one of the tables. He seems alone, and soren has an itching curiosity that wants to ask him a question. While he doesn't know if he will, it's enough to cause him to sit down beside the thief, as though soren is but a long-time companion offering a friendly conversation.

"There's a lot of familiar faces here, hm?" he greets. soren doesn't have much in the way of a rapport with sothe. In one war, they were on opposite sides most of the time, and in the other, soren did his best not to let the then-child to see combat.

"i suspect you're here to watch over lady micaiah."

@nevassan

breaking bread with the

[sugarstarlights]

Challenge complete! I just finished the chocolate. I /desperately/ needed that to wash down that entire jar of pickles, Jesus fuck. Probably shouldn't have shotgunned both energy drinks /first/, those would have been handy during. But I still win! Nobody had any expectations for what I was doing except me but I still win.

[lil-white-mice]

Was laying in bed and my sister in law said i was getting really skinny 💖💖 she couldn't be more right, i love to feel every one of my ribs when i lay down and my stomach not sticking out past them when i stand up.

It is sad to get bloated after eating, but it's nothing a fast can't fix.

[thestarsandskyaboveus]

hunter wittebane-noceda - general hcs.

this man loves physical touch (not that kind y'all nasty mfs)- hand-holding, hugs, shoulder pats, etc. he's touch-starved as hell. he'll probably cry on you if you hug him, but only if he's well-rested enough not to fall asleep instantly.

hugs from people he trusts are really the only way he feels safe... even when he's by himself, he's always on edge. it feels good to know somebody has his back.

that's probably why he's so tired all the time tbh. never been well-rested a day in his life because he just doesn't feel safe enough to let himself relax. dude probably has muscle knots for days.

became the golden guard at thirteen. his hands were very badly scarred on his first mission (like in the moringmark comic) when he had to dig his troop of scouts out from underneath a landslide. he ended up with bad nerve damage from the cold of the mountains, and his hands still shake pretty badly, even when he tries really hard to hold them still. he wears compression gloves to help combat this.

never been in a relationship and never had any friends. the closest thing he ever had to a friend was steve, and the age gap was frickin' enormous, so they never really connected in the same way as hunter would have connected with others his age. still, he sees steve like a big brother and a friend at the same time. steve is fond of hunter in the way a teacher is fond of a pupil, but definitely has no idea how much hunter worships and looks up to him as a person, and he definitely has no idea hunter has never experience any sort of love or affection before.

has legitimately no idea that what he went through with belos was abuse. thinks that he deserved every scar, every bruise, every injury, because he thinks that's just what parental figures do when you fuck up.

has panic attacks over seemingly very small things, and experiences deeply traumatic flashbacks if/when he has to walk through the palace again later in life. even though the flashbacks aren't necessarily noticeable to the people around him, he does have to find an excuse to leave so he has a chance to recompose himself in private.

probably has a mild eating disorder. comes from a similar place to his lack of sleep (aside from not being able to relax) where he has this idea in his head that he needs to be able to survive off of as little as possible and take up as little space/resources as possible.

[tangledinink]

Hopefully they are able to accept this healthy(and delicious) bento. The old man has been very worried the kids aren't eating.

it is very much appreciated. they'll find some quiet corner of the @tmntaucompetition to hide in so they can eat.

[aquilacalvitium]

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[real-total-drama-takes]

tw ed

kinda a sad hc but i hc courtney to have a restrictive ed. idk i feel like it makes sense because her whole thing w perfection and it shows up in a lot of fics and also i love to project

[saaad-and-alone]

Feliz cumpleaños a mi