#disco Hera is a mood

[omnikko]

Epic art dump. That lady after Aphrodite is disco Hera btw.

The last image is Crocus and Hermes because they are adorable and we don't talk about them enough

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Intermission I: Keeping Up With the Olympians

We met up at a coffee shop in a little known place where few have entered: Idaho. I had arrived via one of my private helicopters. Angelos, one of my private chauffeurs landed the helicopter in the parking lot of a hardware store. According to my calculations, which I had made none, I was right across the street from the coffee shop.

“Most appreciated, my dear daughter,” I thanked Angelos, as I made it a habit to show gratitude to anyone I associated with.

“Not your daughter, but not a problem,” Angelos smiled and I could tell she gave me a wink even through her pitch-dark sunglasses. Her short, brown hair was slicked back, and she always made sure to wear a tuxedo when flying me first-class anywhere I wanted to go. I leaned over and kissed her hand.

“Please wait for me while I pick up my other daughter,” I beseeched her, then strolled off to the coffee shop. Traffic be damned, I strutted my stuff and caused a pile-up. Just as a refined lady should, of course. If beauty didn’t cause a calamity, what use was there for it?

Our meeting place was but a humble coffee shop, some kitsch place called Espresso Self.

I gave a fanciful chuckle as I wiped my shoes against the mat outside the entrance, then I stepped inside to the arid atmosphere of such a chic location: everyone looked to be in disco outfits, some clown costumes, others wore scuba gear. However, one person who stood out among them all was one seated at a table in the far back: a young woman in a violet hoodie with the hood up. She had short, blonde hair and...wait, blonde?

I must bring this up at once.

As I approached her, I slammed my hands down at the table and leaned over.

“What happened to your precious green?!” I demanded, the ferocity in full force.

Rather than shocked or scared out of her seat, she gave me a dull expression, then took a sip from her cup of coffee.

“I washed out the dye,” she stated, deadpan.

“I don’t approve,” I gave a disgusted look.

“Bite me.”

At first, I was shocked by such a disrespectful remark. But then I looked deep within her eyes and saw a raging fire which I hadn’t seen before. Well, it might not have been a literal raging fire, it may have been a reflection of something behind me that was orange. Always hard to tell with those things.

“You’ve taken a life, haven’t you?” I implored, no longer a voice of disgust, but instead discovery.

“Yes, and I hated it.”

“Eh. It’s an acquired taste. But never mind that, what are you drinking?” I pointed to her cup.

“Triple-shot espresso, I reckon. Also an acquired taste, and one which I have not acquired.”

“So why are you drinking it, then?”

She shrugged.

“I told the barista: ‘just fuck me up’, so she did.”

Ah, easy mistake to make. I’ve been there once or twice.

“Will you be all right?” I asked, just to make sure.

“Probably. Just gonna be a little jittery, is all,” she spied the room and shifted her gaze from side to side, “can we get this show on the road, or what?”

“Eager to put your detective hat on?” I pondered and turned to a toothy grin, the excitement of seeing her in a deerstalker was quite the fantasy.

“More or less. I’m going to want the details so I know what I’m working with. Once this is all settled, you’ll hold up your end, yes?”

Ugh, that was the problem with the younger folks: they didn’t know that in order to have a good mystery, you needed to drag things out as long as possible.

“Of course, of course, dear! But once we’re at my place, yes?” I clapped my hands.

She let out a dramatic sigh, then got up and tossed her drink in the trash.

“I just know I’m going to have a heart attack later,” she grumbled, then headed out the door.

“Wait up! So impatient!” I chased after her. Such a shame, too: I never got the chance to order anything.

She was much more cheery over the phone. What gives? Hell, I’d say we were on opposite ends of the mood axis: I was in a slump and she seemed cheerful as a beaver in a lumberyard. Of course, once she knew the details of my predicament, she too would be in a foul mood. Well...if she wasn’t already. No, I didn’t want to make her mood foul!

I remember calling her, distraught and in tatters.

“Demetria! I need your help!” I bawled into the phone.

“Would you look at that? Perfect timing. Been a while, hasn’t it, Hera?” She rasped but I could feel the joy foam out from her mouth.

“Yes it has, and I do apologize! I’m sure you’ve had countless sleepless nights just thinking about me! But fret no more, I am here now and I need you to come over! It’s an urgent matter!”

“Oh my. You want me to come over? Gee, I’d love to do that but I don’t have any way to get there. I don’t have...how do I put it...the coin,” she spoke with a sly rascal voice which would have made the sly rascal in me proud. However, money should not have been an issue for someone of her caliber. Well...any old fool would have thought it was about money, but not me, no: I knew better.

“Never mind the ferryman! I’ll come get you, myself! Just tell me the place and I’ll be over in a heartbeat! Maybe two heartbeats, depending on traffic!”

“Wait. You’ll come get me? Well this changes everything. Okay. Hold on. Slow down. I’ll meet you in Caldwell, Idaho. You can probably find me at a coffee shop. Thanks so much,. Bye.”

I knew of no such place (Idaho. Or Caldwell, Idaho. Coffee shops, I have heard of), but that didn’t matter in the name of familial love. I’d do anything for a daughter of mine.

It didn’t take long for Angelos to drop us off at my place. As soon as we landed, Demetria and I began to walk up to the musical steps which lead to the paradise of Olympia: my house.

“You sounded much more cheerful on the phone,” I remarked, glancing off to the side so she could get my good side. Of course, all of my sides were good, even the sides of me that weren’t good.

“Well yeah. Over the phone I was all eager to get back to Olympia, but then once I sat at the coffee shop, I got to thinking about the ordeal I had to go through last time with you and then I was like ‘just endure it, Demetria. Remember your goal.’ But I just know I ought to prepare for trouble, and hell, make it double.”

“Yes, my dear, these are troubled times indeed,” I grabbed a handful of skittles from out of my pocket and shoved them into my mouth. “Troubled times.”

Once inside, I lit a few candles, as in my misery, I had trouble flicking light switches.

“Just as gloomy as I remembered it,” Demetria commented as she looked around.

“I know, right? Absolute beauty, right here!” I showed off my collection of vintage plates, but in her straightforward fiery eyes, she paid no mind.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

“Okay, but once you hear me out, you might shed a few tears, so get ready,” I drew in a deep breath, “Zeus has gone missing!”

Rather than weep, Demetria just let out a yawn.

“So you want me to find him?”

“Yes! I’m willing to pay you anything as a reward! Money is no object!”

She nodded, then let her eyes wander to the ceiling.

“Indeed, but objects are objects.”

I put my finger on my chin and pondered that one.

“I suppose...I haven’t considered that one before…”

“You know what I mean, surely,” Demetria slammed her fist into her other palm. “I want a weapon constructed, and I know that will cost me a great deal.”

Ah, just like before. When she rejected that million dollars in favor of a pretty looking knife and some throwing knives. Their value wasn’t even equal, but...I mustn't question the logic of a brilliant detective like my soon to be daughter.

“Why certainly, deary! If that is what you desire, so be it.”

“Sweet. I’ll get on this case right away!” She just about jumped for joy. Now there was my precious daughter I (barely) knew and loved.

“Great, but before we get started on the details, I must say,” I shook my head in lament, “I miss the green.”

“You know what? So do I.”

I was filled with a gross sensation of elation. My eyes widened and so too did my smile and I ran up to her, got down on my knees, and begged.

“You must let me dye your hair!” I took her hands and pressed my forehead against them.

“Oh? You’d do that?” “I would be delighted to! Now tell me, what shade would you like?”

“I was thinking of a darker shade of green, actually. Like, maybe seaweed green.”

“Say no more! Come with me, to the grand bathroom, also known as my personal salon!” I dragged her away as I ran through my halls and down a flight of stairs, then a little off to the right, and bam! A shiny silver room with many sinks and a golden, leather adjustable seat.

“Sit! Please!” She plopped down into the chair and spun it around.

“Don’t get too giddy. You’ll need to lean back into the sink, okay?”

She gave a single nod, and then I spun her around a bit until her back faced the sink. Yes, the marvelous sink made of marble and copper, not just porcelain, but the finest of fine materials.

I let the sink run and I opened up the cabinet above her where a mirror rest. Within the cabinet contained many dyes, bleaches, shampoos, and conditioners. You know, for when you’re having one of those days. Her head leaned back and soaked up the shimmering sink water. After she was thoroughly soaked, I turned the water off and lathered in the dye while massaging her scalp.

“Ah, this feels so nice,” she let out a sigh of pleasure, “I could get used to this. It’s like all the negative energy I’ve had is being released.”

“We are our worst critics, dear,” I comforted her, both with my words and the magic of my massaging hands.

“Ugh, yeah, I hate that critic. I hate myself. Oh, there’s that negative energy again, welcome back,” she turned glum just as fast and she lost her glum.

“No, no, no. Love your critic. She’s there for you when you need her, always looking for the best in you.”

“Huh, I never looked at it that way.”

“Yes. My inner critic tells me that Zeus is always cheating on me, and she always turns out to be right.”

“Ugh. Why do I listen to you?”

“Because half of the things I say have a kernel of wisdom to them,” I answered her as I continued to massage her scalp. “Also because it’s okay that he’s always cheating because I’ve slept around too and I don’t need him, I can have any man I want. Woman, too. I don’t see why I need to be picky.”

“Aah – this is nice. So, what’s the deets with the mish?”

‘Mish’. In all my years, that was a word I’ve never heard before. Perhaps it meant, like, mish-mash, or Misha, if she knew of any Mishas. For the record, I did not, and I didn’t see how a ‘mish’ could be related to the task at hand, but no matter, I’d tell her all I knew.

Oh dear. Am I really prepared to be so intimate with the details?

“Well, you see, dear, there’s been…” I felt a lump in my throat. Perhaps the other day I swallowed an Adam’s apple and had forgotten about it. Whatever the case, I knew I had to continue.

“You must know that both Zeus and I are something of ‘swingers’. ‘Libertines’, if you will. ‘Sluts’, if you’re feeling fancy. There is no shame in enjoying life’s greater pleasures, so I feel no need to mince words.”

“Fair enough, but it sure sounds funny the way you put it,” she remarked. “Also, I think I already knew all that.”

“Okay, well, lately I’ve been thinking, this whole sleeping around hobby, it was great and all, and I don’t regret anything, but at the same time, it just hasn’t brought me the same enjoyment as it used to. Throughout our escapades, I always considered Zeus to be my number one, and he always said the same about me. But now I think I want him to be my only one, you know? Monogamy, as the stuffy ones call it. Yes, I can imagine you find the word boring just by hearing it.”

“Not really. One person, many people, whatever. You do you.”

Wow, I have such a supportive daughter. That settles it. I am going to spoil the hell out of her.

“Well, it’s always been monogamy, I suppose, but there’s always been side dishes, even when Zeus was the main course. Now, I think I just want the main course and nothing on the side. A full platter of man, if you will. Besides, what with us both growing older, I figured he’d want to settle down, too, and when I spoke to him about it, he agreed, and he told me it would be just the two of us from here on out.”

“Oh, okay. So he’s cheating on you,” she concluded without so much as a second thought. No evaluation whatsoever.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not jump to conclusions!” I cautioned her. “Yes, he probably is, but he might not be, and I’d like to leave room for doubt. Besides, he agreed. I’m tired of sleeping around and I’m sure he feels the same.”

“Yeah, but if I find him and he’s off with another woman…”

Really? A whole other woman when I’m right here? No, unfathomable. Yes, he would do such a thing, but what woman could be as great as me, Hera? If that happens to be the case, there can be no other conclusion than that he was tricked somehow…

“Then I’ll kill her,” I had my answer ready in my arsenal.

“I get why you’d be mad, but don’t you think you’d be directing your anger at the wrong person when he’d be the one cheating?”

She raised a fair point, but he promised. That should be worth something, right?

“What makes you think it’s his fault? Are you in league with her?” I went on the defensive.

“No? I don’t even know who ‘her’ is, if it even is a her. I’m on your side, remember? I’m just saying, him cheating is a possibility, and not even all that unlikely.”

“Yeah...you’re right…” I conceded. “I just don’t want to accept it as a possibility, is all.”

Just the idea made me want to weep.

“I get that, I do. You’re a little kooky, I admit, and I don’t always get what you say or do, but I imagine how I’d feel in your position, and if it comes true that that’s what he’s up to, just know that it’s not any fault of yours, and you’re plenty great on your own. You two talked about it and had a deal, and if he can’t respect that, then he should’ve just left.”

“No! No way!” I stamped my foot.

She looked up.

“Or you should just leave, too,” she suggested an alternative. Now that was much better.

“Yes,” I sniffled. I wasn’t crying or anything, I was just really congested due to living near the sea. “Thank you, deary.”

“No prob. For the record, I’m not about to be a relationship counselor or anything. Just common sense, really,” she sounded like she was trying to backpedal, something I found both cute and endearing of a little daughter of mine.

“We’re almost done. You’ll have to let it sit for a bit, but then I’d love to see the amazing seaweed girl that you are,” I informed her.

“Why do I have to be a seaweed girl?”

I let out a grand chuckle and continued working on her scalp. Once we were all done, and I rinsed it all out, I wrapped a down feathered towel around her head and headed out.

“Come see me in an hour, dear, or whenever it’s dried! I’ll be waiting,” I waved and winked as I headed to who knows where. I first thought to enter my bedroom and slip into a nightgown, but then I decided it wasn’t late enough in the night for that, so then I thought to enter the other bathroom and do some light contemplation, but I didn’t even know what that meant, so at last, I decided to do the reasonable thing and lay off to the side on my armchair, my legs dangling off of one end and my head rested against the arm of the chair. Now if only I had a glass of wine or a bottle of perfume, I’d be the definition of exquisite.

My eyelids began to grow heavy and I thought I would take a little nap or nod off, but before I managed to do that, out walked my precious daughter, Demetria, with the towel over her head, and as soon as I looked up, she released the towel and let down her shoulder-length, wavy dark green hair.

“So? What do you think?”

I clapped like an elephant seal.

“Amazing! Ten out of ten! Your hair looks like a fresh bag of spoiled lettuce!”

She slumped over and gave a disgusted look.

“Did you have to make that comparison?”

I failed to see the problem with that, but at her behest, I tried a different one.

“I could put rice on your head and a cut piece of salmon and roll your hair, then eat it all up!”

“Please don’t eat my hair.”

“I’m not saying I would, dear, just that I could.”

“Well, could you not?”

I closed my eyes and smiled.

“Very well, dear.”

Our night was still young, ripe time for the two of us to hit the streets – which meant that she had requested me follow her to Hephaestus’ forge. Ah, my estranged son. He was a bit on the reserved side, but I knew our love for each other was unparalleled.

“It’s so strange stepping in…” I muttered as I opened the wooden door to his weapons shop.

“Why’s that?”

I scratched my cheek and gave an awkward smile.

“Well, you see...he generally doesn’t like it when I visit. He says he doesn’t like to see me.”

“Wait, you two know each other?” She gasped.

“Honey, as the self-proclaimed matriarch of Olympia, I’d say I know my fair share of everyone.”

“Oh. Huh. For some reason, I’m not all that surprised,” she remarked. At that, I gave the door a gentle push with my palm, and the two of us entered.

“Hephaestus!” I bellowed. “My beloved not-yet daughter wishes to have a weapon forged for her!”

“Excuse me?” Demetria looked up. “Not-yet daughter?”

“All in due time, my dear.”

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then thunderous footsteps made shockwaves and little weapons hung on the wall moved in place, some danced along, and a few looked like they were about to fall. On the third footstep entered the bulky frame of Hephaestus, equal measure dispassionate as he was passionate about his craft.

“What are you going on about now, Hera?” He demanded in his bored tone. I knew deep down, he cared with a deep aching. Even if that care had to do with the weapons he forged, and nothing to do with me.

“Hey, remember me?” Demetria stepped up.

Hephaestus squinted, then leaned in. Once he stood back up, he clutched his belly and let out a hearty laugh.

“It’s the friend of the troublemaker, Sunny! Oho, what a surprise! How’s your yakutian knife working out for you? I hope you’ve been treating her well.”

“I have, but I think I’m ready for something new,” she reached into her pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper. “I’ve written up the schematics for a brand new weapon. Think you’re up to the task.”

His eyes darted around the page of the sheet of paper and I couldn’t get a single view of what was on it.

“Hmm...Hmm…” he mumbled while looking it over, then at last declared, “your drawings leave a lot to be desired.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m not exactly meant to be an artist. But you are, yes?”

“How would I go about making this?” He asked in response, something which baffled me. Wasn’t he the one who could craft any weapon he wanted, and there he was asking such a ridiculous thing?

Demetria set down her backpack and pulled out a bunch of shiny rocks which seemed to move in place. Except they didn’t. I wasn’t really sure, I might have been on acid.

“I’d like you to forge it with this, along with the finest steel you have.”

“What kind of material is this? Is it corrosive, because let me tell you, I will not deal with such toxic metals.”

Demetria shrugged.

“Dunno, but should be fine if you’re wearing gloves. So, what do you say?”

“Girl, even if I am able to make this to your liking, it will cost you dear –”

I interrupted.

“I’ll be paying for all of it,” I informed Hephaestus and I could see sparks fly in Demetria’s eyes, “so the cost won’t even be an issue. Just make this for my soon-to-be-daughter, will you?”

“Hera…” He growled. Not one more word directed my way. Such a shame, but such is life. He instead turned back to Demetria. “I’ll make your weapon. It may take me a while. I can’t give you an estimate as I’ve never worked with such material. Just know that when all is said and done, I’ll be wringing Hera dry.”

“Fine by me,” Demetria replied with a shrug. “By the way, what’s with this ‘daughter’ crap?”

“It’s a Hera thing,” he stated.

“But she’s not my mom,” Demetria argued. It broke my poor little heart to hear such words.

“Not yet. Trust me, girl, she’ll find a way,” he grumbled.

“Well...I’m just not going to pay it any mind and get to work on the task at hand! See you two later!” Demetria ran off out of the store, leaving Hephaestus and I to stare into each other’s eyes with a pronounced longing. Well, his was a longing which said, ‘get out of my sight right now’ as well as a longing to return to his work. Mine was a longing for longing’s sake.

“Why do you insist on trying to adopt every person you deem adorable like they’re a lost puppy?” He spoke at last, breaking the familial tension. Or adding new tension. Either way, they were words.

“It worked out for you, didn’t it?”

“Only because I was already an adult and was living on my own by the time it was revealed I was your son!”

“You have to understand, dear, that mommy was very young and reckless and I employed the surefire method of dropping you off on someone else’s doorstep. Also, for your information, technically speaking, Demetria and I are already related.”

“Oh? Do tell. Wait, never mind. Don’t.”

Too late. He shouldn’t have indulged me.

“You remember Aphrodite, don’t you?” I asked with a Cheshire cat grin spreading across my face.

“Don’t remind me. I’m glad I finally have some space. I was never really into her anyway.”

“Yes, but you did marry her for a short time.”

“Only to shut her up. She kept trying to interrupt my craft.”

“Yes, but you did marry her.”

“Okay, okay! What’s your point?”

“Well,” I leaned up to the glass casing of the counter and folded my hands together, “she was my daughter-in-law, due to you two being married, and now she’s in a relationship with Demetria’s older sister. Check-mate, dear son.”

“I think you’re stretching the definition of being related. And how do you know that?”

If my smile grew any wider, my face would split in two, but I couldn’t help myself.

“See, a while back ago when she first visited, Zeus and I decided to do some sleuthing into Demetria’s family.”

“So in other words, stalking.”

“Oh, but stalking has such a negative connotation. I prefer sleuthing. Anyway, we found out that her eldest sibling, Hestia, was quite beautiful, and single. Which meant she was fair game for either one of us to try to pursue. However, Aphrodite overheard our plans and intercepted us, and somehow managed to woo her.”

“You really are horrible, you know that?”

I waved him off. Children could be so disrespectful.

“Anyway, Hestia is old enough to be one of my daughters, so I think I found a better prize.”

“You don’t mean –”

“Yes. I’m going to pursue Demetria’s mom.”

“What about Zeus?”

Oh shit. I totally forgot about him. He was missing and could be in danger and there I was thinking about romantic conquests. We were still married, after all.

“Never mind that, then. Maybe I’ll keep that plot in the back of my mind in case Zeus is cheating on me.”

“Good news, then: he probably is. That’s his thing.”

“No! He wouldn’t! He’s probably scared and hurt somewhere!”

“Yeah, he probably hurt his penis in a tragic fucking accident,” my vulgar son shot back.

“Enough! Demetria’s looking for him and when she finds him, then you’ll see!”

“No I won’t. I’m going back to my forge. I’m not dealing with this crap.”

“Fine, but you better make the perfect weapon for my precious daughter!” I yelled to him as he walked away.

“She’s not your daughter,” he called back, his voice boomed with a lack of interest in continuing the conversation.

“Not yet!” I yelled, then stormed out.

Nobody was on my side, especially not my son who didn’t like me, but I would show them.

Back at my house, I decided to take matters into my own hands and grabbed my pistol. Before the night was over, I would find my husband if it was the last thing I did. With any luck, Demetria was already close to finding him, so if I found Demetria, I’d find my husband. Win-win.

But in the dead of the night, there were no guarantees. Silent were the streets, and silenter still were the confines of others’ homes. Even with my due diligence and my keen senses, I picked up nothing. Hell, I even tried to use echolocation, and that too failed.

All through the town I crept along and listened for even the slightest of discrepancies. At one point, I thought I heard someone shuffling behind a dumpster, but when I walked into the alleyway, it turned out to just be a rat.

However, when I was willing to give up my search, I heard the sound of someone running by just one street over. Then, a high-pitched shriek pierced through my eardrums. I ran toward the sound at once, and what I saw left me trembling.

Out from an open apartment door ran a screaming, mahogany colored haired woman in a bath towel. Following her was none other than my missing husband, arms stretched out, Zeus.

“Hey! Wait up! I can still go one more round! I may be getting old, but I’ve got the stamina of a donkey!” He called after her.

“Get away! I didn’t know you were married!” She shouted back.

So that’s the seducer! I didn’t even know her name, but that didn’t matter. What was it about her? Younger? Slimmer? Darker hair, maybe? Whatever it was, it had led Zeus astray.

Beside the temptress was Demetria.

No. No way. We had a deal. She was supposed to help me.

“Stop!” I shouted with a firmness that halted everyone in their place. My pistol was aimed at the other woman, then I shifted my aim over to Demetria, then Zeus. Finally, back at the other woman, the true target.

“You. You were the one who took my husband from me!” I declared and my arms shook as I held the pistol. In a panic, the woman pleaded and her lips quivered.

“You’ve got the wrong idea! He came onto me, he said he was just a down on his luck old man!”

“Lies!” My voice grew shrill and I shot at the ground next to her feet. She jumped back and squealed in fear.

“Hera, listen to me, you have the wrong idea!” Demetria jumped to the woman’s defense.

“You’d take her side as well?” I felt a sour taste fill my mouth and I was about ready to vomit.

“I’m not taking her side, I’m trying to explain to you the situation!”

“Enough!” I fired the pistol, a deafening howl which caused me to shake further when I was already shaken.

Dust filled where I had aimed, and when the dust settled, I was in shock over what I saw: there Demetria stood, her arm reached out as well, as a barrier had been erected from a strange device. She was in front of the other woman, and stood tall and proud.

That time, my lips quivered as well, as did my eyelids.

“Why? Why would you deny me my justice?”

“This isn’t justice, Hera,” Demetria replied, her tone flat, yet just as firm, “Maybe if she knew and was willing to go along with it anyway, she’d be culpable as well, but that is not the case.”

“But...but…” tears flooded out from my eyelids and sullied my face. “It hurts so much. Why? What did I do wrong?”

“In this case, nothing. You didn’t have to do anything wrong. The one at fault isn’t you, and it isn’t this woman, it’s Zeus.”

I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe it. There was no way…

“And you can continue to hate the ones he sleeps with, but the fact remains that the one sleeping around is the one who’s getting away,” Demetria continued with conviction. Then my eyes darted toward Zeus and...damn it! He really was getting away. He started to turn tail and ran.

“Just so you know, it’s not my fault either! Can’t help myself!” He yelled behind him. I pivoted my aim and shot the back of his knee. His head lurched up as he cried out in pain, blood splashed out from the wound in his knee and landed on the concrete beside him.

I walked over to him, slow and deliberate in my motions.

“Geez, woman! Was that really necessary?!” His face was red and it contorted to an upset scowl as he spat out.

“If it’s the only way to get us to talk, then yes,” I informed him.

“Fine. Let’s talk. What is it? What do you want?”

In his enraged state, he looked truly pathetic. But I sure would miss seeing him on his knees. Alas, this wasn’t the type of thing a collar and leash would fix.

“I want you to know that we’re through.”

His faced relaxed, and then turned to a pout.

“But why?” He whined.

“I’m just tired of sleeping around. It used to be fun in the beginning, but now I want someone who only wants me, and you told me that you would stop and be that someone, yet you continue to sleep around.”

“But who will I cheat on now?”

“I don’t know. I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“Sleeping around just won’t be the same without you.”

“You’ll manage. Goodbye, lecherous hairy man.”

I walked off and left him where he was. Next was Demetria.

“Come, daughter-to-be. Let’s head back to my humble abode.”

“Enough with the daughter thing, sheesh!” She complained, but followed anyway. As for that unfortunate woman…

“You in the towel,” I glanced behind me. “As an apology for tonight, I’ll send you a gift basket in the mail.”

“Uh...okay...what?”

Back at my home, I sat and wept, head in my hands.

“What will I do now? I’ve gone most of my life without being single!”

Demetria sat on a small kitchen table with her legs folded.

“Hey, where’s the stupid confident Hera at? The one who says she could have any man, or woman?”

I knew what she was doing: the legendary pep talk.

“Yeah,” I looked up, tears still streaming down my face, “I could have anyone! I may be getting into my sixties, but I’ve still got it! Meryl Streep’s got nothing on me!”

“I don’t know who that is, but that’s the spirit!”

“Anyone would be lucky to be with me, including your mom!”

Demetria blinked, then gave a blank stare.

“Wait, what?”

“There’s nothing wrong with having two moms, hun,” I smiled a crooked smile.

“Yeah, that’s true, but I don’t even know if my mom swings that way, and even if she does, I’m not sure I like the idea of you and my mom dating.”

“Don’t be surprised if it happens. I’m hot stuff,” I snapped my fingers and pretended a flicker of flame was above my hand. There wasn’t any flame, but the imagery was nice.

She slept over that night, and several more nights after until Hephaestus was done with the weapon. I didn’t get a chance to see it, but from what she told me, it was perfect. When I went to ask Hephaestus, he just said:

“Eh. It was a knife,” without any more specifics. I couldn’t believe he’d keep a secret from his own mother, especially since it was regarding his craft.

“I think I’m ready now,” Demetria told me, nearly a month since she first arrived.

“Ready?” I asked, unsure what she meant.

“I’m going to head to the diner in the arctic, where my other family is,” she explained, which I then felt a tinge of jealousy over. But I let it pass.

“Mm...I think I’ve heard about that place. There’s a fog in the area right now. The ferryman won’t operate in such a fog,” I informed her, “if you’re adamant about going, I can give you the coin to a ferryman, but they’ll drop you off somewhere outside of the fog, which means you’ll have to walk the rest of the way through it.”

“So be it. If that’s what I gotta do, then I’ll brave it.”

I admired the courage she had, even if I didn’t see why she would go through such trouble in the first place. From out of a drawer under the coffee table, I fished out a ferryman coin and tossed it to her.

“Thanks! I just realized that before I go, I should dress for the cold. Are there any clothing stores around?”

“Indeed there is. Shall we go shopping?”

“Yes! I think I could use your judgment when it comes to attire.”

I wondered why she thought that, but I appreciated the compliment. Of course, once we went shopping around the streets of Olympia, I began to understand and after she covered herself up, I saw her off.

We’ll meet again, I thought. And maybe by the time we do, I’ll be in the arms of your mother.