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heesdreamer · 2 years ago

Text

off the ice

PAIRING ➩ sunghoon x reader

SUMMARY ➩ dubbed ‘ice princess’ at an early age for you ice skating skills, you face the biggest challenge of your career when you’re paired with your rival for a competition dance.

GENRE ➩ rivals to lovers enemies to lovers

WARNINGS ➩ suggestive content, abusive figures and strict career lifestyle mentions.

WC ➩ 17.1k

DISCLAIMER : im not citing this as sunghoons personal experience with training or his career and im not making light of the abuse that goes on in the ice skating field and the strict dieting and lifestyle. also side note i literally don’t know a single technical term for skating tricks or competitions so this is my limited descriptive talented and googled information lol (not proofread)

The human body was something you’d never quite been able to grasp completely. It’s rules for right and wrong, it’s reactions to certain stimuli. The way it can bend and twist but not break yet one small accident can ruin it forever.

There was nothing you dreaded more than having that type of accident. It plagued your mind from early morning to late night, what ways you could avoid getting hurt.

Ironic considering your lifestyle choices seemed to bring nothing but hurt, only in the shape of bruised limbs and sore muscles.

Since you were 4 years old, your entire existence had been devoted to one thing. One single thing in your frame of sight, one thing that would determine your future and if you succeeded as a prodigy or failed as an old hobbyist.

On your fourth Christmas your mother had gifted you a small box that was wrapped tightly with a pretty purple bow. At that age you were, of course, more interested in the packaging itself than the contents inside it.

Little did you know, your whole entire growing life form was sitting inside the small box and you were en route to become a prodigy in the making.

For the next 15 years you spent everyday on the ice. Obviously retiring the tiny pair of skates that was hidden behind the old purple bow, you’d gone through dozens of pairs are you grew and the stitching began to fade and tear.

Throughout your school years, you lost yourself in a daze of studying followed by practice followed by studying followed by more practice. You, impressively, managed to keep a small hand full of friends despite the constant look of disappointment you’d face after canceling hangouts.

Then you were graduating, and with a big smile on your face, flowers in hand, you prepared to take a deep breath in and start your life with a blank state. The way you wanted it to be.

You scowled at the memory now as your hands smacked against the cold ice, shavings from the skid of your blade sneaking their way under your gloves and sleeves. Your deep breath of relief had been cut short by the icy chill and reminder that what you had been training for, didn’t end at adulthood.

“That’s the third time you’ve missed that.” Your coach was declaring from off on the side of the rink, ringing her hands together and peering down at you.

You didn’t mind Coach Suzy, if anything she was miles better than dealing with your mothers remarks and insults, but her need to point out the obvious wasn’t your favorite quirk of hers.

Pushing off from the ice back onto your skates, you held your scowl and did a loop around the rink to get back into the motion of it. Three tries without success was, in your standards at least, a complete failure. Your mother would be having a complete public fit if she had found the time to come today.

You simply haven’t, and did not, lose and you weren’t planning on making a late habit of it. Throughout your career you were quickly dubbed a skater to be on the lookouts for, a growing prodigy with a burning passion and a unique sense of style, the Princess of the Ice.

So to be stood here with ice under your nails like a complete amateur, was unacceptable. You furrowed your brows and prepared to send off again, picking up speed and hopefully enough momentum to complete the one jump you’d never had luck with.

Your coach’s whistle stopped you in your tracks and you turned your skate against the ice, stopping abruptly and glaring towards her in confusion. Upon the sight of her, and her newfound companion, your shoulders were deflating with annoyance and exhaustion.

Stood on her side, leaning against the railing and watching you with a half smirk and a skate digging into the ice below him, was none other than Park Sunghoon.

Park Sunghoon had begun his training around the same time as you and you two had immediately been put into comparison, despite the difference in genders never actually leading you to competing. Although, you didn’t need to be in front of judges to compete with each other.

He oozed natural talent and charisma, his body light in the air and swift on the ice. He was quickly named the best skater in your area and he’d yet to lose the title, with you always following a close second. The Ice Prince was spreading throughout the whispers of judges and growing fandoms and to make matters worse for you, he was completely humble.

“Making slushees princess?” His low mocking voice floating across the ice towards you reminded you immediately that humble, did not mean he was kind.

Quite the opposite actually. You and Sunghoon had both fully taken on the position of rivals in training and performance, paying more attention to each others marks than the ones of the girls you actually were being ranked against.

So despite your mutual popularity and matching affectionate nicknames given by the public, you’d yet to do any sort of collaborative stage or paired competition. Until this years national competition.

You came to a slow skate as you approached the two of them, doing a small spin before clumsily falling back against the railing and taking a deep breath. Your coach smiled over at you and your antics before putting on her serious face.

“It’s only three months before the competition guys and I know it’s not what either of you wanted and it’s a short timeframe but I need practice to start within the week.”

The practice and competition she was referring to was the fact your worst nightmare had come true last month when another soloist from your district was chosen to represent at this years comp. You had no idea why she was picked over you considering you routinely ranked higher than her but what’s done is done.

You had come to terms with the fact you wouldn’t be competing for the first time in your life, almost feeling a strange sense of relief at the thought, when Coach Suzy dropped the bomb on you that you were instead selected for the pair dance.

You weren’t completely unfamiliar with skating with a partner, doing some casual dances in low scale showcases and once or twice in an actually competition, but you had a bad gut feeling about who your partner would be judging by her hesitance.

And looking back over to his smirking face now, that same nasty gut feeling was sinking back in.

It wasn’t the actual performance you were necessarily worried about, Sunghoon was no doubt talented and he had more experience with partners than you. It was the enforced effort that not strangling each other everyday was going to take, that was stressing you out.

——

It was 4am and you were sat in the center of the rink, the cold ice against your legs and back wasn’t bothering you much, only a slight distraction as you read through the script and guide for your expected performance.

Your brows were furrowed as you flipped through the pages swiftly, nearly tearing them with the force you moved them. So focused in on the words in front of you, you didn’t even notice the sounds of the gates squeaking until a skate was in front of you.

Without glancing up, you sighed and flipped the booklet closed, raising it up in an attempt to hand it to the boy standing over you. You studied his signature skates with annoyance, furthering when he didn’t take the paper from you.

“I’ve read it.” He explained and you finally looked up to meet his gaze. His eyes were tired but also seemed to be studying your reaction to the materiel. You briefly wondered if he was having a late night or an early morning as you drifted your gaze to his tight black turtleneck down to his sport pants.

“Is she kidding with this?” You scoffed and pushed off your hands so you were standing with him now. He didn’t say anything, watching as you tugged down your sweater and wiped your hands off on the thick fabric. “It’s like sex on ice.”

“It’s supposed to be romantic.” He offered with a raised eyebrow and he laughed when you turned your sharp glare towards him. “It’s a staple, you know it is. And besides it’s a big deal that the ice royalty are performing together.”

You didn’t miss the hint of disdain in his voice at the audience given title and you once again found yourself admiring his humbleness, despite it seemingly border-lining on insecurity occasionally.

“Why are you here?” You found yourself asking before you even realized you were starting to speak, you pushed off into a slow skate in a loop around him and he spun softly in place to watch you as you circled him.

He shrugged softly, the sharp line of his shoulders raising and falling and you quirked an eyebrow at his lack of answer. Eventually he sighed and spoke again. “I just come here sometimes..”

Immediately you understood what he meant and why he’d be at the rink at these hours. The same reasons why instead of studying at home, you were sprawled against the cold ice that was natural for you.

Sunghoon and you had never seen eye to eye but you were undoubtedly living a lifestyle that not many people your age could relate to, and that was clear to you as you spent the earliest years of your life searching for somebody who could even half understand that reasoning behind why, sometimes, the only place to go was the skating center.

“Did you want to practice what you’ve read so far or just talk.” His sharp tone was seeping into his words again, switching the atmosphere immediately and you frowned for a second before remembering who you were talking with. You scowled and laid back onto the ice, the starting position of your dance.

“On your side” He said lowly as he laid down next to you, a few inches between you. You nodded, accepting that he understood the choreography better than you, and turned towards him. Your eyes followed down the slope of his nose to his eyes that were staring at the ceiling.

It felt strange to lay on the ice in such a vulnerable position and even stranger to be laying next to Park Sunghoon.

“Don’t face me idiot.” He was sighing, without looking at you, and you groaned and turned onto your other side.

“Music cue.” You whispered and he hummed in agreement. The first part of your performance was no doubt the most awkward for you, you understood the physical contact that came with stunts and pair skating but this felt unnecessary and strange.

You rolled your body across the ice closer to Sunghoon until you were climbing overtop of him, both arms out and caging his body so you didn’t touch. He was holding in a laugh as he watched you and you glared down at him.

“This is so stupid.” You muttered and and completed the roll so you were now laying on his right side, close enough to touch now. The position didn’t last long because his next move was to do a similar roll overtop of you, pulling you up with him to a standing position.

“It’s romantic.” He repeated his teasing words from earlier but they felt a lot more intimate now that he was laying on top of you, peering down at you from under his floppy bangs. You suddenly felt the urge to kick him off of you.

“Raise your chest up.” He instructed and you did so robotically causing him to pause and glare at you. “At least attempt to look graceful.”

You groaned and flopped back down against the ice, taking a breath and counting to three before once again sitting up slightly, this time putting more emotion behind your movements.

He nodded softly as he swiftly jumped to a stand over you at the same time you moved, his hands coming up behind you to rest on your shoulder blades. He was awkwardly bent over you in a frozen position, thinking about the next move.

“I forgot.” He mumbled and you sighed, pushing him backwards on his skates and bringing yourself up to stand instead of relying on him.

“I thought you read it genius.” You growled and circled back around to your abandoned script, flipping open the first page and studying it. You glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow at the zoned out look on his face. “I wrap my arms around your neck.”

He seemed to snap out of his gaze and looked over at you quickly. “Yeah then I lift you, I remember.”

You sighed and shook your head in his direction, ignoring the quirk of his dark eyebrow and obvious confusion at your motion. Without another word you turned and started skating back towards the edge of the rink, preparing to silently call it a night and start again tomorrow at practice.

“So that’s all you’ve got then?” You ignored his voice as it echoed from across the ice, by now you were far to use to his quick one lined remarks to truly let it have any effect on you. “Didn’t realize you were so content with losing princess.”

The sound of the ice under your skate was almost deafening as you turned your foot and squealed to a stop, ice flakes kicking up onto your ankles from the force of the abrupt brake.

You spun around and were back in his space in seconds, eyes burning from under your sweaty bangs and he stared down at you with amusement and that competitive fire you were used to seeing from him.

“I don’t lose Park.” You were spitting the words in his direction, the tips of your skates brushing against his with a soft clank that went unheard. You lifted a hand towards his chest and jabbed a finger onto the fabric of his turtleneck, causing him to softly rock backwards a few centimeters. “And I won’t start now so get your shit together and reread the script.”

——

Some mornings you felt almost robotic in the way you could wake up and be at practice before you even registered brushing your teeth, a quick blur of familiarity and installed routine.

Other mornings you wondered how much it would hurt to have to peel your skin from off your mattress, the imagery being the most accurate representation of how it felt to wake up and actually get started.

You were falling somewhere in the middle today, trudging through the lobby of the sports center with puffy eyes and jutted out lips to match. Marching past Coach Suzy, you ignored her furrowed brows.

“What is with the two of you today?” She was calling from behind you and you didn’t need to ask her what she was talking about, catching sight of the other half of her reference already out on the ice and wearing the same clothes from when you’d last saw him. You suppose your question of late night or early morning was answered now.

After you had laced up your skates and pushed out onto the ice, he offered you a quick nod of subtle acknowledgment.

“What.. no morning princess?” You admit you were grumbling as you skated past him, planning to warm up with a few loops around the rink. He caught up to you as you started, skating backwards so he could face you.

“I knew you secretly liked it.” His retort caused you to scoff and turn your eyes into a glare, although you both noted the lack of usual serious intensity. You were too tired to go back and forth with him today and judging off the darkness under his eyes, he was in a similar boat.

“She’s going to run us into the ground today.” You replied with instead, a subtle warning in your voice and he quirked an eyebrow at the casual conversation you were initiating.

“Looking forward to it princess.”

——

You were regretting not taking your own warning more seriously, hours had passed and most the other skaters at the center had packed up and went home, sparing you and your partner a pity filled glance as they left.

Coach Suzy had been relentlessly instructing you repeat and repeat the steps until they were perfection, even stopping you a few dozens times before you’d even completed the first move citing it was “messy and emotionless”.

“Where’s the chemistry.” She was shouting from the sidelines and you sighed loudly from your place above Sunghoon, he was holding you up by your waist for one of the smaller stunts and you felt him peering up at you. “There’s no passion.”

“Yeah, no shit.” You heard Sunghoon muttering as he gently set you back down onto the ice before, not so gently, kicking it with his blade in frustration.

You were standing still on the ice, taking a deep breath and resting your head back to look up at the glass ceiling above you, seeing the blue hue of the sun finishing setting. You wiped the sweat from your forehead and brought your attention back to your coach.

“Tell us how to fake it and we will.” You told her earnestly. You were frustrated that she wasn’t allowing you to fully practice the moves with eachother, despite understanding the need for a show of emotion to capture the audience, what was the point if you fell on your ass during a poorly practiced stunt.

“You can’t fake chemistry princess.” As much as you admired and respected your coach for the years of her life she dedicated towards you and your career, you couldn’t help but flinch at the way she spat the title at you. Her tone was almost mocking as frustration got the best of her.

Sunghoon came into frame, skating forward and placing himself in front of you. You couldn’t see his face but judging by the way your coach’s features softened over his shoulder, you imagined his expression showed he wasn’t happy with the way she was speaking to you.

“I don’t mean to be like this.” She shook her head and wrung her mittened hands together. “There’s lots of reasons here why it’s important for you kids to win…. Stuff we can talk about soon.”

Neither of you spoke for a bit, staring at her off in the distance and still catching your breaths from the intense practice. Sunghoon turned his head to look at you from over his shoulder and you nearly smiled at the familiar fire in his gaze. You nodded at him in confirmation.

“Don’t worry, we’re winning.”

——

“What part of this are you not fucking understanding.” Sunghoon’s irritated yell was hitting the back of your head as you skated a bit away in anger, taking deep breaths and attempting to not escalate the situation. “It’s a simple cascade down, it’s not even a stunt.”

“I understand it asshole.” You were spinning around to face him, your voice coming out loud and bouncing across the ice. “Maybe if you supported me better it’d be easier to want to drop down.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, watching you with downturned eyes behind his messy bangs and catching his breath slightly. Then he was shaking his head and skating towards the edge of the ice, opening the gate and looking back at you expectantly.

You watched him with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl, not understanding what he was silently insinuating or why you would cut practice short after only 6 hours. Only two days had past since the talk with your coach and if anything, you’ve only gotten more hostile towards each other.

“Let’s go.” He eventually spoke with a sigh, annoyed he had to spell it out to you. “I know a place that’s open.”

The place he was referring to was apparently a 24 hour diner placed just two blocks from the center. You’d never seen it before and this didn’t surprise you considering you rarely went anywhere besides practice and home and even more rarely ate out.

You weren’t exactly sure how you felt about eating out somewhere that seemingly only served classic American grease fest and milkshakes, but Sunghoon seemed comfortable and relaxed as he slid into the booth opposite you.

You were questioning now if you’d ever seen him look so casual. Sure, he was known to be friendly and he obviously was no stranger to jokes and teasing but if you saw him here any other time, you’d think he was just a regular student without a care.

This left a weird pit in your stomach considering the fact he wasn’t a regular student and neither were you, and acting like one wouldn’t do you any good when it came to your future or this competition.

Still your thoughts fizzled out when the older waitress wandered over to your table, pocketing her order book with familiarity as she looked at the boy sat across from you.

“Sunghoon, it’s been too long sweetie.” She was smiling brightly down at him and he was glancing at you with a half smirk, you almost sensed bashfulness in his expression. “Is this your girlfriend?”

It took you a second to realize she was referring to you, her warm motherly gaze falling to your side and cocking her head in anticipation for a response. Your mouth parted in surprise as you fumbled for an answer.

“She’s a friend.” Sunghoon rushed out before you could, awkwardly avoiding your gaze picking at the old chipped vinyl on the table. You furrowed your eyebrows at the use of the word. Was he just avoiding more questions or did he actually consider you two to be friends?

The waitress looked between the two of you with a quirked eyebrow and you felt slight annoyance at the teasing glint in her eyes, like she knew something you didn’t. You opted for staring at the table infront of you, watching Sunghoon’s anxious habit. She muttered something about getting his usual and then she was off back into the kitchen.

Sunghoon cleared his throat and you looked up at him from behind your hair. He was watching you, still with an air of awkwardness, and you once again noted how different he looked in this setting.

“Why are we here?” You automatically felt bad at the harshness in your tone and if it was anybody else you’d apologize or take it back. But you could tell that he understood you were frustrated and tired from practice and antsy about wasting time.

“Coach said we don’t have any chemistry.” He explained and you gave him a look that made him chuckle under his breath. He put his elbows on the table and leaned forward slightly. “I don’t know, I thought maybe we should try to have an actual conversation.”

“We have conversations.” You butt in, shaking your head like it was an obvious statement. You’d known the boy for almost your entire life, even if you were reluctant to admit it, you’d spoken to him more than most people you know.

“When’s my birthday.” His voice penetrated your line of thought and you looked back up at him, slightly shrinking at the question. “Do I have any siblings? Matter of fact, have you ever even seen me outside of the center?”

You were glaring at him as he spoke, although you couldn’t deny what he was saying. You wracked your brain for any counter argument, grasping at straws. “Three years ago I saw you at a 7/11.”

“Woah.” He raised an eyebrow at this and smiled down at you, looking slightly surprised when you offered a small smile back. “What was I doing?”

“Buying snacks.” You gave him a disapproving stare. You weren’t lying about this, much to your surprise you had caught him a few winters ago with two handfuls of restricted snacks and a jumbo soda balanced in his arm.

“And you didn’t rat me out?” He was definitely teasing but you still thought you heard a bit of surprise and truth in his words, like he genuinely expected you to run and tell on him. “Wait, why were you at 7/11?”

For a moment you considered lying, telling him you were getting pain pills or a protein bar but this new excited look on his face was silently urging you to lean into the openness of the conversation.

“Isn’t it obvious? I was buying snacks.” You leaned back in the booth and crossed your arms. A loud laugh pushed past his lips and your eyes widened slightly at the sound, more used to chuckles or scoffs.

His tired gaze softened on you slightly at your surprised expression but before he could speak or continue the conversation, a second waitress was returning with your food (two orders of Sunghoon’s ‘usual’).

You were staring down at the plate with a curious expression, slightly overwhelmed by the amount of food placed in front of you. You could feel his stare on you as you studied it and you lifted an eyebrow without looking up at him. “How do you practice after eating all this?”

He snorted another laugh and unraveled his silverware, leaning forward again to cut up your pancakes. You lifted your gaze to watch him as he did this, sleeves rolled up on his arms and eyes concentrated on his task. After finishing with the pancakes, and taking half for himself, he answered your question vaguely.

“Intensely.” His reply caused you to frown slightly and you were grateful for his habit of avoiding eye contact so he didn’t see the pity in your gaze.

It was no secret to anyone, and especially to you, that your sport was a tough one with intense practice and overall lifestyle. You’d spent more time than you’d admit worrying about the health of other kids you trained with and that included Sunghoon, who always seemed to be working ten times as hard as everybody else.

“How about once a week?”

“What?” He looked confused at your words and paused mid bite of his scrambled eggs, eyeing you with a question in his gaze.

“Once a week we eat here.” You explained, awkwardly toying with a piece of bacon in front of you. “Like… together.”

His silence was driving you crazy and you felt your heart rate increasing with each second that he didn’t respond to you, even with a rejection laugh or an awkward denial at your attempt to get closer. You reminded yourself that this was for the sake of winning and spared him a glance. He was watching you with a familiar smirk and you sighed softly.

“I knew you liked me princess.”

——

A few days had passed since the start of your new weekly ritual with Sunghoon, days full of practice and studying the demo video the two of you had scrapped together the week prior. You were watching it now and even though it was messy and unpolished, you felt semi proud at the way the two of you looked on the ice together.

Picturing it with more practice, the right facial expression and some competition level costumes and you were starting to understand why this was something people were looking forward to. And they definitely were.

Proven by the way a newspaper was smacked onto the ice infront of you, causing you to jump slightly before lowering the iPad and glancing at it to see a poorly edited photo of you and Sunghoon on the cover. You glared down at the paper and the latter mentioned laughed from above you.

“We’re the talk of the town.” You could hear the smile on his face and you pushed the paper away from you.

“I’m pretty sure we have actual photos together.” You mumbled. “Why did they edit it like that?”

You looked up in time to see him shrug and to also take in his attire. He was wearing a form fighting black turtleneck T-shirt that was tucked into his usual sport pants. Your gaze went down to his white gloves and he took notice of your stare, wiggling his fingers mockingly.

“Go change.” You frowned, standing up to reveal your similar outfit, only your shirt was white and your gloves were black, perfectly matching his in opposite colors.

He stared down at you with an annoyed expression and for a second you considered pushing him backwards on his skates, not liking that the toe of yours were nearly touching his. You decided against it at the thought he might trip and fall.

“Less talking, more practice.” You looked over at the new voice to see your coach, her hair messy from the snow outside as she unraveled her red scarf from around her neck. “Oh don’t you two look cute.“

You groaned at her comment referring to your matching outfits, turning and skating away from Sunghoon and over to where she was sitting along the sidelines. You vaguely heard the sound of his skates following behind you and you noted his lack of comment at her teasing remark.

“Did you see this?” You turned the paper towards her direction and she looked up in question, eyes brightening when she caught sight of what you were holding.

“Oh it’s wonderful.” She chirped out and you glanced back at Sunghoon, who mirrored your look of confusion. “It’s even better than I expected.”

“So you knew about it?” Sunghoon voice was closer than you expected it to be and you almost turned around and shoved him away before remembering your coach’s frantic need for you two to cooperate, and your deal made the other night. Still you weren’t quite used to his casual presence yet.

“Knew about it? I asked for it.” She explained and you gave her an incredulous look, shifting your eyes to the photo and bold headline.

Directly above the edited photo of the both of you, adorning crowns and a few photoshopped hearts between you was the large capital words, ‘ICE ROYALTY! ROMANCE ON ICE… AND OFF?’

You let a few beats pass as you stared at the cover, letting her get the read on your feelings towards the situation. “Why on earth would you do that?”

Sunghoon was clearing his throat behind you and you were grateful that he was seemingly going to add his two cents in, in agreement against the article. “I mean… it gets people curious.”

Your mouth parted and you spun around to face him, this time when your skates bumped into eachother you did push him slightly backwards. He seemed to be expecting it and glided a few inches away from you easily, his relaxed expression only adding to your annoyance.

“In what world do we need rumors and idiocy to win this?” You spat at him and his lip turned down for just a second before his eyebrows hardened. “We should be practicing not standing here talking about stupid fake headlines.”

“Oh but you seem pretty content storming out of practice whenever you get a little bit frustrated.” He spat back at you and you faltered for just a second, not expecting such anger directed back towards you. Overwhelmed, your mind shot straight to defense.

“Maybe because you’re impossible to be around.” You hissed towards him, fist clenched at your side. You both fell quiet and you shut your eyes for a second, willing him to say something back so your impulsive words weren’t left hanging in the cold air between you.

“That’s enough.” Your coach’s voice sounded tired but firm and you kept your eyes shut, regret seeping into your skin. You didn’t want to see his expression, regardless if it was hatred or hurt. “No practice for a few days, go home early.”

——

Not being on the ice was making your skin itch and your head feel like it was floating ten feet away from your body on a thin rope. You were thankful for the snow falling outside, accompanying you on cold walks and slightly keeping you grounded. It wasn’t often you had a break from practice and maybe there was times where this was all you wanted, but something felt heavy and wrong about the way things had occurred.

You felt even worse about what you had said to Sunghoon because you had meant it. Maybe not in the way he took, as a personal hit at his character, but definitely in the way that your competitive and insecure nature had crafted up your whole life.

It was almost impossible to be calm and in the right headset with somebody who seemed to be relaxed and carefree despite living the same life as you, you who could barely get through the day without multiple stress driven outburst.

Especially now, standing outside the diner, you realized how much better of a person he was than you. If he had said those words to you, you wouldn’t have shown up tonight. Maybe you would have even begged for a new partner or dramatically switched training halls.

But as you stood wrapped tightly in a thick jacket and a scarf, shaking from the cold and dark walk over here, you stared at the side of his face through the foggy window and took a deep guilty breath.

The entrance bell ringing as you pushed open the frosty door seemed louder than normal and so did the silence that screamed between the two of you as you sat down across from him. He didn’t look at you as you approached and for a moment you wondered if he only came to see if you would.

Then the waitress was circling around and placing a hot drink in front of you, offering you a small smile and a head nod. You managed a confused smile back at her but raised an eyebrow at the drink you didn’t order.

“It’s hot chocolate.” Sunghoon spoke and your eyes widened, shooting up towards him. He was watching you with a careful expression. “It’s cold and you don’t drink coffee.”

You wondered how he knew that about you, when he had observed you enough to have a fact that small stored away. You didn’t voice your confusion, giving him a small nod and taking off your gloves so you could wrap your cold hands around the warm mug.

“I can pull myself out of the competition.” You stopped mid sip as he started to speak, avoiding eye contact with you and fiddling with this thread of his fingerless mittens. “I guess I didn’t realize how hard of a time you were having.”

“I’m not.” You rushed out, immediately flushing at the loud volume of your voice. He looked shocked at your words, watching as you set down the mug carefully and put your elbows on the table. “I’m not having a hard time… well not because of you atleast. I shouldn’t have said that.”

He didn’t say anything for a bit and you were curious what he was thinking about, not for the first time you found yourself wishing he was not so nice, then maybe he’d have a burst of anger and lay everything on you. You wanted him to call you spoiled or rude, anything other than that soft look he was giving you.

“I’ve always had a hard time.” You don’t know where it came from, the sudden personal statement causing him to tilt his head in the terrible, genuinely curious way that he did. You felt an overwhelming sense that if you didn’t tell him something about you right now, that would be it.

“With me?” His eyebrow cocked and yours furrowed.

“No… or yes.” His lip quirked downwards and you hurried to finish your sentence before a repeat of the other day occurred. “Not because of you but because of me. Because I’m jealous of you and how good you are at everything.”

He seemed to take this in for a second before a scoff escaped his lips, the smile on his face letting you know it was semi lighthearted.

“You’re jealous of me?” His shock was genuine and he leaned back in the booth and sucked a breath in through his teeth. The loud hissing sound made you wince. “And all this time I’ve thought the same about you.”

“Oh whatever.” You mumbled, both not believing what he was saying and not feeling comfortable at the unfamiliarity of the back and forth compliment.

“I mean it.“ Something in the way Sunghoon said it made you want to believe him. “You’re like a natural out there. Living up to your title, if I do say so myself.”

“It doesn’t feel natural, and don’t forget who got the title first.” You felt a bit childish to be refusing his attempt at being civil, nice even, but that nasty insecure part of you wouldn’t allow you to take any compliments from him.

“Well I was excited to be paired with you.” He raised his shoulders in a shrug and you watched him carefully from under your eyelashes. He smiled at you awkwardly when you didn’t immediately respond and your lip jutted out into a pout.

“I’m sorry Sunghoon.” The words felt weighted and empty as you forced them out but you truly meant what you were saying and you hoped he could see that beneath your initial tone. He looked slightly taken back at the use of his first name.

Luckily, he nodded at you and leaned forward on his elbows again, pushing your mug back towards you with two steady fingers. You watched his hand as they came closer to your side of the table, feeling a bit embarrassed when the mug stopped infront of you, insinuating he wanted you to finish the warm liquid.

After a beat you glanced up at him and immediately dropped your gaze back down to the steamy cup at the smirk on his face, his fingers lingering for just a moment before retracting back to under the booth.

“Finish, we have work to do.”

——

“Exactly! That’s exactly it right there.” Sunghoon’s excited words barely registered to you over the sound of your loud panting.

You were leaned over, elbows on your knees and eyes closed shut in an attempt to catch your breath. You’d been going at it relentlessly the last few days, nearly perfecting the basic moves but still needing to add the flare the judges would be looking for.

Sunghoon and you had been getting along for the most part, small spurts of bickering and burst of frustration due to complicated moves but nobody has stormed out or lost any fingers, so it was a win in your book.

“Again.” He was chiming from a few feet away and you glared up at him from behind your sweaty bangs causing him to laugh before assuming his position on the floor.

You were slowly becoming used to it now, the close proximity, the faux romance on your expressions. You were a professional and that’s all this truly was, work. But you were feeling slightly childish about the way you couldn’t get use to his hands on you.

Telling yourself it was just awkwardness, maybe even lingering animosity you were holding that made your stomach turn every time his big hand wrapped it’s way around some part of you, you laid on the ice a few feet away from him.

You routinely rolled over top of him, movements robotic as you avoided looking down at him and he tensed slightly.

When it was his turn to do the same, he paused above you and you frowned, waiting for him to move off of you so you could ease into the next portion.

Instead he stayed in place, caging you in as he balanced himself on his forearms. For a second you thought about the core strength it’d require to hold a plank on ice before shaking your head and internally scolding yourself.

“You’re distracted.” He was saying above you and you felt his breath on your cheek, strongly opposing the cold ice your other one was pressed against. His voice was low and telling, not a question.

“No I’m not.” You scoffed, or atleast the best you could considering if you took a deep inhale your chest would press against his. “Maybe you’re distracted.”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you looked at him, still refusing to turn your head incase your noses touched. He was looking down at you intensely however and your stomach flipped again.

“I am.” His voice was firm but you looked at him just in time to see his eyes awkwardly shoot around your face, hesitation in his gaze.

You weren’t fully sure what he was implying and you definitely weren’t going to reply without him outright saying that it was you he was distracted by, the presumed humiliation making you furrow your eyebrows.

The thought crossed your mind that he was making fun of you, that he had someone noticed how hard it was for you to focus around him and was trying to bait a confession out of you.

You turned your head finally, not flinching at the way his nose bumped against yours or the sharp inhale he took at the sudden contact. You held his gaze for just a few seconds before starting to speak.

“Get off me Park.”

He faltered for a second like he wasn’t expecting that sort of response, body completely locking above yours before quickly rolling over onto his back next to you and awkwardly sitting up.

“I’m sorry.” He rushed out and you finally took a big breath before also sitting up and avoiding looking at him. He watched as you stood completely and you felt his eyes on you. “I don’t know why I said that Y/N.”

“It’s not a big deal.” You lied smoothly, keeping your voice steady and shrugging softly as you wiped off the ice shavings that was stuck on your leggings. He was still watching you and you heard him sigh in embarrassment.

“From the start?” He eventually muttered and you glanced over at him, shaking your head.

“I have to head out actually.” You tried to keep your tone casual but he looked pained, obviously not falling for your excuse and realizing you were leaving because of what he said. “First thing tomorrow?”

He didn’t say anything but you knew he had heard you and started to skate off the ice, face flushing with awkwardness as you finally took a breath and accessed what had just happened.

If you weren’t mistaken and he wasn’t pulling some sick joke on you, which judging by his mortified reaction you highly doubted that, Park Sunghoon had just attempted to make a pass at you.

Park Sunghoon who, for the better part of your life, had done nothing but drive you absolutely crazy with anger and jealousy. The same boy who thought it was funny to tie your laces together and watch videos of your failed jumps on the waiting rooms big screen.

You were absolutely sickened by the idea of it and even worse, the fact that the red painting your cheeks was not because of anger.

Storming out from the hall into the snowy night, your stomach was twisting again with what you now fully understood was not nauseation.

It was the stone cold realization that you liked Park Sunghoon.

—-

You hadn’t exaggerated on your call for early practice the next day, entering the hall before the sun had even risen yet.

It didn’t help you’d spend the entire night tossing and turning and screaming into your pillow as you replayed the scenario in your head over and over, analyzing every awkward second of silence or quirk of his eyebrows.

You’d come to the conclusion, at some point during your fourth hour of restlessness, that Sunghoon hadn’t been joking and he was absolutely attempting to flirt with you or at least was testing the waters.

This realization was nothing short of crippling and you almost considered not coming in today, making faking a cough or a sore throat. But the clock was ticking on your time to practice before the competition and with this added distraction, you needed all the time you could get.

So it was driving you a bit insane as the second hour passed and Sunghoon still hadn’t arrived to practice. You hadn’t entered the rink yet, anxiously sitting in the locker room with your skates half tied as you rocked your knees back and forth.

You imagined he would be embarrassed, maybe he hadn’t even thought before he spoke and it came across wrong, but for him to not show up at all was something you couldn’t accept.

Before another minute of waiting could pass you were pulling your phone out and doing something you’ve, somehow, never done before and texting him.

y/n : After all this and you aren’t going to show up? I don’t know about you but this is really important to me and I’m sick of the childishness.

You sent the message before you considered how harsh it was, leaning forward and groaning as your forehead hit your knee. Your phone was clutched to your chest as you waited for the buzz to signal he responded.

It never came and you felt your heart sink to your stomach, smushing its way past the irritation and anger you’d been accumulating the past hour.

You flung your skates off with a yell, wincing internally at the loud echoed bang of them hitting the metal seats that rang throughout the room. Standing swiftly, you stuffed them into your locker and slammed it shut before turning on your heel and going to leave.

In your fury driven urgency to get outside you didn’t peer around the corner before rounding it, resulting in you falling back against the floor as you smacked roughly into somebody approaching at the same time.

You let out another loud groan as you hit the floor, head striking the ground that was luckily covered in rubber mats designed for your skates blades. Still, a wave of pain washed over you at the force in which you fell.

“Fuck.” To make matters worse, you immediately registered as he spoke that it was Sunghoon you’d smacked into. He was leaning down to check you, a hand jutted out in an attempt to help you up. “I’m so sorry I’m late, something came up and-“

“I don’t care.” You cut him off in a snap causing his face to drop in guilt. You ignored his outstretched hand and pushed yourself to a standing position. “I’m leaving.”

“Y/N, I really am telling the truth.” He rushed out, eyes big and desperate. You glared at him and tried to move down the exit hall again, behind stopped by his large frame as he stepped sideways in your way.

“Whatever it is I can’t imagine it could be more important than practice.” You felt the irony in your words as you spoke them, wanting to wince at how similar you sounded to your mother but you were acting on anger.

He seemed to realize this now, deflating with a sigh and staring down at you with his sharp eyebrows pulled to the center of his forehead.

“Let me show you.”

——

You weren’t exactly sure how he had managed to get you here considering how hell bent you’d been on avoiding him or strictly practicing, nothing in between.

But somehow, half an hour later, and you were sat frowning in his passenger seat. Your arms were crossed in irritation and you were stiff and tight in the seat, resisting the urge to look around and analyze his car.

Truthfully you hadn’t even realized he knew how to drive, although it suddenly made sense considering you’d never seen a parent of his at the rink and he always was there at odd hours of the night without the cold bitten cheeks you typically had.

Sunghoon had a strong point when he said you didn’t know anything about each other, you knew it was truthful when he had said it but it was weighing on you now as you looked over at him as he drove.

He looked nervous, shoulders higher and more tense than they usually were but he was sat comfortably in his seat, only one hand on the steering wheel like he’d been driving for a long time. You wondered when he had learned, who had taught him or if maybe he’d taught himself.

You’d never thought of Sunghoon as lonely. He was always bouncing around competitions with a bright smile, chatting with judges and opponents and even with your own mother a few times.

You remember being 15, face red and puffy from the tears you’d shed after she’d given you a strict scolding in the bathroom after a low scale contest. He had approached afterwards, ready to throw some quick jabs and comments your way before seeing the look on your face.

Instead he had struck a conversation with her, making funny faces at you over her turned shoulder as she spoke in her familiar harsh tone. You remember laughing into your glove and then watching him as he walked away, trying to catch sight of his mom.

He seemed to know how to handle strict parents so you were curious if he was raised similarly, but you were just left confused as he left the rink by himself.

“See that right there,” Your mother had spoken in a low voice, leaning towards you on the bench. “Some parents don’t even show up to these things, you should be more grateful.”

You couldn’t stop thinking about that now as you pulled into a parking lot, blue hour was settling in now as the afternoon bled on. The drive was just over an hour but it was getting darker sooner in the day as you went deeper into the winter.

He sucked in a breath and you felt him look over at you like he was waiting for you to say something about where you were. You didn’t but you turned your head to meet his gaze, raising an eyebrow for an explanation.

It looked like he was considering giving you one for a second and then he changed his mind, taking his keys and getting out of the car. You watched him circle around to your side, opening your door for you and waiting for you to step out.

You silently followed him into the building, passing by a reception desk with a large man who gave Sunghoon a smile and a nod. You stared at his comfortable shoulders as he walked through the winding hallways with ease, clearly familiar with them.

The building resembled a hospital, dull colors and the buzzing of LED lights making your head spin slightly but the similarities between the people in the rooms you were passing told you what it truly was.

Sunghoon stopped infront of a room with a closed door and looked over at you, again like he was expecting you to speak. You didn’t and he eventually sighed and turned to open the door after a beat.

“Sunghoon? Is that you?” You stayed by the door, letting it close softly behind you, as he walked into the room and pulled back a privacy curtain that was hanging from a rod on the ceiling. You froze in place at the sight of the older woman in the bed, machines hooked around her with dull beeps and chimes.

“Yeah Nana.” His voice was lower than you’d heard it before and your eyes went to him as he softly lowered himself to sit on her bed. He glanced at you and waved a hand, signaling for you to come closer.

For a second you wanted to shake your head, to back track out of the room and wait for him down the hall. You didn’t understand why he would take you here, why he would show you this part of his life or what this meant.

But you let your feet fall forward and stepped into her view, breath catching when he outstretched a hand to grab your wrist and pull you closer at a faster pace. The feeling of his skin against yours combined with her questioning gaze made your face flush.

“Oh.” Her mouth parted in shock and you bowed your head slightly with a smile in greeting, not fully trusting yourself to speak. “You must be Y/N.”

Your eyes widened and you looked towards Sunghoon who had a similar expression, hanging his head so he didn’t have to meet your eye.

“You’ve heard about me?” You spoke softly, a louder volume feeling intrusive in the quiet room. The lights were dimmed low and the curtains were drawn giving the space a warm calm atmosphere.

“Oh he doesn’t shut up about you.” She was smiling at you and reaching out a shaky hand for you to take. You went to lift your left hand and felt the weight of Sunghoon’s on your wrist still, faltering and looking at him.

He looked embarrassed and confused, like he hadn’t even realized he was still holding onto you. He went to remove his grip but you twisted your hand and pulled his into yours, squeezing it tightly. You gave her your free hand instead.

It was a bit jarring to you and out of your element and you felt a bit of panic building in your throat. Being here was strange and Sunghoon being beside you was every stranger.

The weirdest part of all was the absolute care and adoration on this woman’s face, a strange you’d never seen before holding your hand with such delicacy. You felt yourself tear up slightly thinking how nice it must’ve been to grow up with such a person in your life.

You glanced at Sunghoon at this thought, you were still standing beside the bed holding both their hands while he sat and he was already looking at you. He seemed slightly taken back by your glossy eyes but he smiled at you warmly like he understood the reasoning.

And you were realizing now that he did.

It wasn’t the first time it had occurred to you that he was lonely but it was definitely the first time you really processed it. Maybe it was this new found care you had for him, this pull at your heart when you thought back to the boy with nobody to see his competition performances.

“Why are you back here sweetheart.” Sunghoon’s grandmas soft voice was speaking again and you glanced over at her, avoiding his eye contact when you felt his thumb rub the back of your hand.

You suddenly realized this was why he was late, obviously held up in a visit or maybe a medical emergency. Guilt hit you as you remembered your harsh tone and processed the fact he had driven the hour to practice and then turned around and brought you back here.

“I thought it was probably time the two of you met.” He lied naturally, squeezing your hand as if he was signaling for you to go along with it. You didn’t say anything, too busy wondering what all she knew about you, how long had you been a subject of conversation between the two.

You can’t imagine all the conversations were pleasant but her eyes held absolutely no sign of disdain or malice.

“You two must be so busy.” The soft croak in her voice made your stomach hurt and she shakily squeezed your hand causing you to do the same to Sunghoon’s in a ripple effect. You realized she was looking at you for a response.

“It isn’t too bad.” You assured her, smiling softly and you faintly heard Sunghoon scoff from beside you. You glared quickly at him and he lifted his free hand in mock surrender.

“I know it’s tiring.” His grandma was continuing and you looked back over at her, her eyebrows turning inwards. Her expression was shockingly similar to his and you let a heavy silence fall between the three of you.

You were once again wondering what type of things they talked about, if she was looking pained at the thought of her grandsons tiring lifestyle or if he had mentioned something about you and your own strict regimen.

It didn’t feel like the time to ask questions and you especially didn’t think you had the right to curiosity.

You’d shown Sunghoon a lot of coldness in the past few days despite his multiple attempts to get closer, and through that all he still had brought you to such an intimate personal place.

“I won’t keep you long.” Sunghoon and his grandma had been having a low voiced conversation while you were deep in thought but she was louder now, catching your attention and giving you a gentle knowing look.

You squeezed her hand one final time as a goodbye, not fully trusting yourself or your voice. Sunghoon was standing then, shoulder bumping against yours and you were overwhelming aware of the fact he was still holding your hand.

You welcomed it, feeling cold and bitter when the door opened to reveal the harsh white of the nursing homes lights that sharply contrasted Mrs. Parks yellow tinted room.

Without thinking you were pulling his arm closer, so your left hand was wrapped in his and your right arm was holding his sleeve against your chest, practically hugging his arm as you walked.

If the sudden closeness shocked him he didn’t show it, not making a move to remove you even as you passed back through the lobby and out the front doors.

It was darkening now despite it barely being 5pm, the short light of winter days making you colder than you’d ever been. The irony of the princess of the ice saying that didn’t miss you.

He paused when you reached his car and you felt him look at you. He was obviously trying to get a gauge of what you wanted to do considering you were glued to his side. You let him go reluctantly and walked swiftly to the passenger side before pulling yourself up into the car.

He was sitting down by the time you pulled your seatbelt on, starting the engine but not making any move to drive or fully situate himself. You imagined he was waiting for you to say something again and this time you didn’t want to disappoint him.

“She’s nice.” You felt pathetic as you spoke the words, nice not beginning to describe the situation or how you felt but you fell short like always when it came to affection.

Luckily he seemed to know exactly what you meant, something he did a lot you were realizing. He seemed to know when you were truly mad versus just tired and frustrated, he knew your distaste for coffee and he knew how to make you laugh despite your moms scolding.

You watched him as he nodded and tried to contain a fond smile for his grandma, biting his lip softly and forming a small dimple on his cheek.

“Do you come here a lot?” You were talking again and this seemed to take him off guard for just a second before he was neutralizing his expression like he was worried he’d scare you off.

“Everyday.” He was humming and leaning his head back against the seat, turning it lazily to look over at you. Your eyes followed up his jaw to his eyes just in time to see him quirk an eyebrow. “If I can.”

“And you talk about me?”

He snorted a laugh at your bluntness and the suggestion behind your words, eyes squeezing shut in a chuckle. You found yourself almost entranced studying his features.

“Not all the time princess.” The familiar pet name caused a similar reaction to normal, blood surging and stomach turning. You tried to ignore the fact it wasn’t driven by anger like it typically was, something much heavier replacing it now.

“But sometimes?” You pressed forward and leaned your elbow onto the middle console as the leather creaked under the weight. The noise caused his eyes to snap open and look at you, realizing you were closer now as you leaned in his space.

He hummed again and his eyes tracked down your face, similarly to the way you were studying him. “Yeah, sometimes.”

You didn’t say anything, a bit lost for words now that he was looking at you. It had never passed by you that he was handsome, probably the most striking person you’d ever seen in your life but without the usual cloud of anger fogging your mind, he was especially alluring.

“What do you say?” You voice came out as a whisper, almost falling forward from how far you were leaning on your elbows. He wasn’t moving in his seat, watching you unconsciously come closer with tired eyes.

He shrugged and lifted an eyebrow, hand falling forward on the middle console as he let a finger unravel and skim across your forearm.

“What do you say Sunghoon.” You ignored the goosebumps that his touch caused, questioning him further. You almost didn’t care about his answer anymore, you just wanted to hear him talk again.

His gaze hardened at the use of his first name, shifting in his seat but not turning his body to face yours. He kept his head turned towards you however, letting your breath fan his face every time you took a shaky exhale.

“Nothing bad.” He was speaking in a low tone, not fully paying attention to the conversation anymore.

“I want to hear though.”

“I wanna kiss you.” He tensed for a second as the words found their way out of his mouth without him meaning for them to. His shoulders relaxed seeing the way your mouth parted in shock.

You felt like a cold tidal wave had hit you as he spoke, face heating up and then more so when his eyes fell towards your open mouth.

A large part of you instinctively wanted to shut him down, wanted to lean back in your seat and tell him to start the car and prepare for the awkward trip back to the training center.

The other part of you liked the way he looked in a darkening car and less shallowly, liked how he smiled at you when you held his grandmas hand despite you letting out your frustration on him only hours earlier.

“That’s what you and your nana talk about?” You smiled at him as you spoke, a teasing tilt in your voice. Your smile only widened when he let out a breathy laugh and pressed his forehead against yours.

“If I kiss you right now will it ruin everything.” He was whispering and you were suddenly aware of how silent it was in the car, wishing for a low buzzing radio to fill the gaps.

“It might.” You whispered back to him and you felt him raise his eyebrows against yours causing your lips to jut out in a pout.

You felt his fingers dancing along your forearm again and you felt the sudden urge to hold his hand again.

“After we win the competition I’ll kiss you.” He sounded slightly pained in his words but you heard that familiar competitive fire that was typically directed towards you.

“Or you could do it now.” You felt slightly pathetic at the whine in your voice and he made it even worse by smiling at the sound of it.

“If I do it now we might not make it home.” He had a slight groan to his voice and your stomach flipped again.

You hastily shifted your arm off the middle console to fumble around for his hand, opting for wrapping your grip around his wrist again. He glanced down at it for a second before looking back up at you.

Slightly embarrassed, you felt your cheeks heating up at your actions but the warmth of his smooth skin was addicting now that you’d actually felt it outside of practice with skin tight clothes. Paired with his suggestive words and you were a goner when it came to common sense.

“How good is your self restraint?” You eventually opted for another teasing comment, not quite sure you were charming enough to directly respond to his comment without embarrassing yourself.

“When it comes to you?” His eyes flashed with something and you briefly wondered how long he’d been thinking about this or if it was as recent of a development as it was for you. “Terrible.”

“I want to… kiss you too.” You almost face palmed at your own words, how utterly stupid and childish they sounded. He had to have figured you didn’t know how to do this, he’d only spent your entire life seeing how busy you constantly were.

He smiled at you, a genuine toothy smile that made you want to scream in embarrassment. Luckily he didn’t seem to be making fun of you and was just genuinely amused by your awkward comment.

And he was. He liked seeing sides of you he’d only caught in passing, he liked that you were teasing back with him and not pulling away or snapping into fight mode at his presence. He especially liked the way your small hand was gripping tightly onto his wrist like you were so desperate to touch him, he wasn’t allowed to remove it for even a minute.

“We’ve gotta head back princess.” You could tell by the way he said that it was his final decision but you relished in the impatience in his eyes.

He leaned back in his seat again, leaving you leaned over the console still and short of breath before flopping back against the leather and waiting for him to pull out of the parking lot.

A few seconds of silence passed and you looked at him in question, raising an eyebrow at the fact he was looking at you in waiting. You followed the way his eyes looked down and saw his hand outstretched towards you.

You definitely were bright red now, looking away but taking his hand in yours as he finally started the drive back home.

—

He’d pulled up to the center after an hour of silence and shy hand squeezes. You were thankful for his silence, more than anything needing a bit of time to think about what had happened in the past few days.

It didn’t seem like it was weighing on him as much, he seemed nervous and excited but not as much thrown off as you felt. You wondered if there was a reasoning behind that or if you he was just really good at pretending to be casual.

You were terrible at being casual, further proved by the way you’re nearly choked as his hand found it’s way to the small of your back while leading you through the parking lot and into the building.

A week ago you would have thrown him off of you and said something about how you already knew the way in and didn’t need him to show you.

You thought about it for a second, just a small second, when you passed through the lobby and your coach came into view. She was practically blowing smoke as she caught sight of the two of you and started to shake her head in anger.

“Oh so now you show up.” She spat and you froze in place, step faltering at the aggressive way she was approaching. “You think you can just skip a whole entire afternoon of practice just because you’ve gotten some good scores in your career.”

Your frown was deepening and you felt the childish urge to curl in on yourself. You’d been in such a happiness cloud since this morning and you felt like you’d been pushed off a sharp cliff back into reality.

And she was absolutely right. It was stupid to skip practice even if it proved to be extremely important and beneficial to you.

“Watch what you say.” Sunghoon was spitting back at her and taking a small step forward, his hand sliding from your back to rest on your waist. Her eyes followed the movement but you couldn’t read her expression.

“Distracted.” She spat the single word, knowing the impact of it. Knowing that was the one thing you were not supposed to be, absolutely never allowed to be. “You’re fucking distracted.”

“And so what if she is.” You’d never heard Sunghoon so angry and you wanted to grab his shoulder and pull him back, wanted to calm him down so he didn’t get reprimanded too. “She’s spent everyday of her entire life focused on one thing, it was barely a few hours.”

“A few hours turns into more.” She was practically screeching now and a few other skaters were sending you apologetic glances and scurrying away. “This is a distraction”

You felt tears well up as she gestured between the two of you, a look of anger and disgust on her face.

“Aren’t you the one who paid for this.” You were confused what Sunghoon was referring to before you remembered the news article she had ordered. A surge of anger flashed through you at the reminder, the pure hypocrisy in what she was saying.

She could spin your love life however she pleased when it was beneficial to her and her career overview but forbids you from actually spending any time with anybody other than the ice.

You didn’t want to listen to her anymore, squeezing Sunghoon’s arm in an attempt to draw his attention away and calm him down. He didn’t look at you for a second, keeping his hard glare locked on her.

She wasn’t his coach so there wasn’t anything she could directly do to punish him. Nothing besides her ability to pull you from the pair skate or request a different partner for you, severely hurting your chances of winning and his yearly average.

“I told you about this.” Her voice was nearly a whisper with the way she hissed it through her clenched teeth. You thought she was talking to you for a second but she was holding Sunghoon’s gaze tightly.

Your hand fell from his arm in confusion, not understanding what she was referring to.

“I don’t give a fuck what you told me.” He spat back and took a small step back towards you again.

You took a step to the side before you even realized you were moving away from him, only processing it when he turned to look at you with a hurt expression. You felt guilty but something about the unknown of their words was leaving a heavy pit in your stomach.

“Y/N, we can talk about this later…. Alone.” Your coach was sighing and despite your anger with her you were glad she knew when to remove herself from a situation.

You held Sunghoon’s gaze as she walked off, presumably leaving the center. He spared a quick glance in her direction to make sure she was gone before looking back at you with that same expression.

“What’s wrong.” His voice was weak and confused, a sharp contrast to the way he was just throwing daggers at Suzy.

“What is she talking about?”

He seemed thrown off for a second, taking a second to think before understanding passed over his face. He took a step towards you, a hand jutted out in your direction. Your lips formed a frown but you took his hand and waited for him to speak.

“At the beginning of the season,” He cleared his throat and your stomach turned with nerves. Maybe she had instructed him to flirt with you, to attempt closeness with you for a better performance. “Before she officially picked me, she sat me down and told me I needed to keep my feelings out of it.”

“What feelings?” You shook your head in confusion, still not fully understanding. “Like with the way we fight? That doesn’t make any sense, wouldn’t she be happy to see us civil then?”

“It wasn’t about that.” He sighed and you watched his cheeks slowly redden as his eyes anxiously shifted to avoid looking at you. “She said she could tell I… was into you and she didn’t want me to become something you focused on outside of being your skate partner.”

You pondered the thought of what he was saying for a few beats of silence, almost feeling more confused at the explanation. If you were correct then he seemed to be insinuating existing feelings towards you, and enough for other people to notice.

“This isn’t how I wanted this to happen.” He sighed again and you felt his hand uncomfortably flex in yours. “All these years of working up the nerve I figured it would be some big romantic gesture.”

He was telling a joke but his voice lacked all humor, a hint of anger seeping in like his plans had been ruined.

“What the hell are you talking about Sunghoon.” Your voice was breathy and slightly irritated, sick of everybody’s vague wordings. “You sound like you’re inlove with me or something.”

Your scoff trailed off when he didn’t say anything. You had expected him to laugh at the thought, say a teasing remark or anything at all. He stopped looking around and watched you with a strange expression, like he was waiting for you to piece things together.

You felt your mouth parting softly and you slowly dropped his hands, he didn’t try to grab yours again and gave you your space as you tried to process what he was seemingly saying.

Park Sunghoon seemed to be insinuating, or atleast not denying the fact, that he was inlove with you and had been for more than a few years.

The thought of this made you feel sick and dizzy and you almost grabbed him for support as your knees weakened.

You weren’t quite sure if it was a good sick or a bad sick. On one hand you were excited, your newly discovered liking towards him and desperation to explore this new territory driving forward the giddiness you felt at the thought of him liking you back.

On the other hand you felt disgusted. Both at yourself for missing the signs, maybe spending years hurting him with your rude comments and refusal to learn anything about him. But also at him for not telling you or even hinting it from what you could see, half the fights you’d gotten in throughout the years had been started by him.

“Since when?” Your voice came out stern and his eyes creased at the way your face scrunched up in confusion and anger.

He was shaking his head and taking a step towards you, immediately backtracking when he realized he had done so. You were watching him and waiting for a response that you weren’t sure was coming considering he was starting to look pained at the thought of telling you.

“It doesn’t matter.” He proved you right as he continued to shake his head. “It’s not a distraction, you only knew because I fucked up the other day at practice.”

“That was a fuck up?” You scoffed at him, anger making you ignore the fact that he was right and you yourself had treated it like he made a mistake.

“It shouldn’t have happened like that. I waited all this time it was selfish for me to do it now, I don’t know why I did.” He was trying to explain himself but it was just confusing you further. “I just couldn’t help myself, I don’t know, being around you like this is making me feel crazy.”

He was talking like a lovesick teenager and your stomach was lurching at the fact that might just be the case.

You don’t understand how he hid it so well, or even when he had started to realize his feelings and plan to keep them a secret. Why would he put himself through such a thing for so long and then risk it all by accepting to be your partner.

A wave of guilt washed over you again as you raked through all your memories with Sunghoon with this new added knowledge. He must’ve been so hurt while pretending like he didn’t care that you were so mean to eachother.

“Please tell me since when.” You tried to soften your voice, your anger not even directed at him in the first place just the circumstance.

“I don’t know.” His voice broke when he said it like it was a question he’d asked himself a dozen times. He took a big breath and deflated. “Probably since the first time I saw you with your little pink skates, who knows.”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds and were suddenly hyper aware that you were having this conversation in the middle of the lobby, tears brewing in your eyes as your hands started to shake.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Sunghoon’s voice was desperate and earnest, like he felt guilty for falling inlove with you which made you feel ten times worse about the whole situation.

“Will you take me home?” You looked up at him with wet eyelashes just in time to see shock pass over his face. He clearly wasn’t expecting such a casual conversation change, especially one that entailed you spending more time alone together today.

Still, he softened as he looked at you and nodded his head slowly like he was waiting for you to change your mind. You both stood still even after his agreement, in a slight daze from the intense emotions you’d been feeling. He nodded again, more to himself this time, and you felt his hand against the small of your back starting to lead you back outside.

Neither of you spoke when you felt the cold air outside and still when he opened the passenger door for you and helped you climb into seat. He watched you for a second before closing the door and circling the car to get into his own spot.

It felt dramatically different in the space than it had only a few hours before, the giggly excited tension replaced with silence and heavy air. You were so out of it you didn’t even notice he didn’t ask for directions to your apartment.

When you realized you’d been driving for a few minutes you were confused, wondering when he had learned the way to your place, before realizing you weren’t heading in the direction you’d normally come from.

You immediately figured he was taking you to his house instead and for some reason you didn’t want to object. Despite being confused and angry and feeling slightly betrayed at this kept secret, you were comfortable and familiar in his presence and almost felt addicted to being around him.

Besides you know that there was nothing this warm and caring waiting for you back home. If your mother was there at all, she was bound to throw a massive fit over you missing practice.

It was worrying to you that you couldn’t find a single piece of care inside of you about missing practice. If anything, your chest was light and airy underneath all the pain and you weren’t sure it’d ever felt this stress free in your life.

You were slowly understanding why you were never given a break, why a day off was unacceptable. Maybe they were fearful you’d fully realize how much better you’d feel without this force of pressure and expectation.

Sunghoon wasn’t the reason you were distracted, at least not from the competition, and once you were able to speak again you wanted him to understand that.

Eventually you were pulling up to an apartment building, similar to yours but slightly on the other side of town. Sunghoon was looking over at you again, waiting for a sign you were ready to get out of the car.

You opened your own door and briefly saw him nod from the corner of your eye, unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping outside back into the bitter air.

You awkwardly followed behind him as he unlocked the main set of doors with a keycard, walking down a long plain hallway until he stopped at a door with a small penguin welcome mat infront of it. He looked at it and then back at you and he seemed pleased at the amusement in your eyes.

When he unlocked the door you were suddenly hit with the fact you were about to see where he lived and quickly wondered who he lived with. You weren’t sure you were ready to hold an awkward conversation with his parents about why you were going in their sons room.

You realized immediately upon walking in, however, that that was not the case at all. The apartment was comfortable but small, far too small to house a family even if he had no siblings. You watched him kick his shoes off into a slot in the empty rack and hang his keys up on the singular hook.

He started down the entrance hallway before stopping when he realized you weren’t following behind him. He looked over his shoulder at you and tensed up at the sad expression on your face.

“What?” The tone of his voice told you that he already knew what you were thinking without you having to say it.

“I didn’t know you lived alone.” You tried to keep the pity out of your words, a casual tone coming off awkward and deliberate.

He scoffed at your attempt and for a moment you were reminded of who exactly you were standing here with, a glimpse of the familiar rival you were more used to startling you slightly.

He didn’t say anything in response, just waving a hand to signal for you to move into the main living space. You followed quickly after removing your shoes, taking in the larger room with widened eyes.

Something about it was very Sunghoon, despite being plain and quiet. The yellow toned lights and CD’s on the coffee table catching your attention as you shuffled into the warm room.

“You seemed out of it.” He was starting from behind you. He didn’t sound close but a chill ran through you at the thought of him watching you. “I didn’t feel right bringing you home alone, I hope that’s okay.”

You turned to look at him and your heart tugged at his sad tired expression. He was looking at you intensely, you figured it must be weird to see you in such a familiar setting. You jutted a hand out in his direction and he looked down at it with surprise.

“I didn’t want to go home.” Your voice was low and soft, the silence of the room outside of the heater running was reminding you of his grandma’s and it felt wrong to have a higher volume.

His head cocked slightly but he took your hand in his, letting out a shaky breath when you squeezed it tightly and pulled on his hand so he’d come closer to you. He was standing far away so your arms were stuck straight out, like he wasn’t sure he was actually allowed to touch you.

You tugged him again and he stumbled closer to you, his big hand instinctively coming to rest on your waist and then falling again in a haste. You frowned at his reaction and then realized he must be feeling confused.

“What are you thinking about?” You kept your voice quiet and soft and he looked down at you with that same pained expression. You let go of his hand and put both of yours flat on his chest, feeling the way his heart beat raced and hiccuped.

You were once again impressed by his ability to mask how he felt, if you weren’t looking at him so intensely or touching him, you’d have no idea he was feeling this upset.

“I don’t know.” He whispered and he sounded honest. His hand hesitatingly went back to your waist, feeling awkward at the way his arms dangled at his sides while you touched him.

“I want to be here.” You felt the sudden urge to reassure him on this despite not being sure if that’s what was bothering him or just the situation in general.

“For how long?” Frustration laced his words and you didn’t understand for a few seconds. First you assumed he meant how long you wanted to stay but you quickly realized he was asking how long you’ve wanted to be around him.

You felt guilt creep up considering you weren’t sure what answer to give him because you weren’t even sure yourself when things had changed for you. You don’t think it was a sudden dramatic realization after he tried to flirt with you like you originally thought.

Thinking back on your life now, Sunghoon and this rivalry has been the most consistent thing you’ve ever known. You’d search for him at competitions and you’d spend weekends thinking about what insults to throw at him next time you saw him.

This could’ve been a childish fued, maybe even bordering on actual dislike sometimes, if it wasn’t for everything else.

You were no stranger to finding him attractive, bitterly acknowledging it every time you saw him. You remember when you were entering your teens and he was shooting up in height and his features were sharpening, scrolling his instagram at the time and scowling at photos of him surrounded by similarly attractive people.

You thought back to staring at his hands in the diner and the fondness you felt watching him juggle an armful of forbidden snacks in that 7/11. A fondness that left you so dazed you had completely forgotten to act as an enemy and rat him out to the coaches.

As hard as it was to admit, even to yourself, you weren’t ice skating because it was your passion. It didn’t get you out of bed in the morning or light a fire under your skin in excitement. You did it because it was what people wanted for you and because you liked to win, you liked how people talked about you when you won.

Sunghoon was a breath of fresh air from the pressure, he never cared if you won or lost, in fact he didn’t want you winning half the time.

He didn’t talk to you like you were a project, a robot prodigy who didn’t have room for love or care and he didn’t walk on eggshells around you like you were some royal princess needing only the best treatment.

You wouldn’t sit here and tell Sunghoon you knew how he’s felt all these years, you wouldn’t lie and say you’d been pining over him too and it has always been set in stone for you but a large part of you feels like maybe you knew it all along.

“I can’t say.” You answered honestly even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “But I am here now Sunghoon.”

You felt his hands tensing against your sides, instinctively squeezing like he was worried you’d disappear now. You wanted to ask him the things you should have years ago, you wanted to know why he lived alone and how long he’s come back to this empty room after hours of hard practice.

You felt guilty again for missing the signs. His familiarity at a random diner, clearly frequently there alone. Always being at the rink at random times like nobody was expecting him home or worried he was overworking himself.

Another part of you was relieved now, holding this knowledge tightly with the determination to change this and be there for him regardless if you yourself were considering not returning to the ice.

“I should’ve told you sooner.” He was saying and shaking his head. It was strange seeing him so self deprecating.

“You told me now.” You affirmed and one of your hands slid up his chest to hold his face, making him look at you and see the sincerity in your eyes. “I know now and I didn’t go anywhere.”

He nodded and you were worried he was going to cry, eyes shaking as he looked down at you and leaned into your touch against his cheek.

So you did the one thing you could think of, the thing you were practically craving only a few hours earlier, and you surged forward on your toes to kiss him.

He was taken back by your sudden proximity, tensing up when he felt your lips against his and then more so when you rocked back onto your flat feet and awkwardly waited for him to say something.

His mouth parted a few times like he was going to speak but after a second or two passed his eyes were hardening with that familiar determination and he was kissing you.

Kissing you with a desperation of somebody who’d been thinking about it for a long time, hands sliding behind your back to pull you closer and tighter against him.

You smiled against him, his mouth sliding against yours as he kissed you deeper. Your hand that was on his face went to his hair and you felt a shudder run through him at the feeling.

He pulled back to look at you, pressing his forehead against yours like he did in the car and breathing heavily as he looked down at you.

“I love you.” He rushed it out like it was his only chance to say it and then immediately shut his eyes tight like he was embarrassed. “You don’t need to say anything back I just needed to finally say it out loud to someone other than my grandma.”

“Are we going to talk about your grandma everytime you’re about to kiss me?” You laughed and he smiled at you, squeezing your front against him.

“No definitely not.” And he kissed you again.

——

The next week was probably the most stressful of your entire life, which was pretty impressive considering how your childhood and early adult years were basically one big intense competition.

Having to tell not only your coach for the last decade that you were quitting, but also your mother, was probably scarier than any stunt you could attempt.

Coach Suzy, as it turns out, seemed to be expecting it and told you that she was planning to retire once this year’s competitions were over. She apologized for being so harsh on you at times and especially for losing her temper due to her own stress and insecurities.

You forgave her and wrapped her in a tight hug but you could feel Sunghoon glaring at her from behind your back.

Sunghoon had been beyond helpful during the process, both legitimately with the paper work it required and removing yourself from data and emotionally. It wasn’t easy to admit to yourself you were done doing the only thing you’d ever been good at.

“You’re good at lots of things.” He was telling you for probably the tenth time this week. You were laying in his bed, hand in his as he played with your fingers.

You’ve learned a lot about him with all the time you’ve been spending, not everything of course but every new bit of information was exciting to you. You liked seeing him in different moods and settings, this one being your favorite.

You liked him best like this, his now dark hair messily splayed against his pillow, still smelling like sleep and the coffee on his bedside table. You liked the way his fingers sleepily played with the shirt you were wearing, which was of course his, and tugged on it.

“Yeah but I don’t know what.” You were sighing and rolling onto your stomach so you could look at him directly

He was smiling at you with a lazy toothy grin, sitting up just a little against the headboard to be able to see your face better. He leaned his head back and shrugged.

“You never had a chance to be good at something else, it doesn’t mean you’re not princess.” You flushed at his casual words and he noticed, leaning down to kiss your head and laugh. “I knew you liked that.”

“Shut up.” You were grumbling and resting your chin on his chest once he sat back again. “Maybe I did a little but I almost gagged the first time it made me blush.”

He was letting out a throaty laugh and you felt your face vibrate as his chest moved making you laugh quietly with him. He looked pretty like this and you liked the way his dark hair looked, having gone so long without seeing it.

Your tired laughs naturally died down and you turned your head so your cheek was on his chest instead, feeling him breathe and listening to his heart pick up in speed every so often.

“Will you come with when I talk to my mom?” You weren’t embarrassed at the childish hint in your voice, knowing he’d understand why this was way scarier than the other parts.

“Anything for you.” He was still smiling at you but he sounded serious, hand in your hair now as he played with it and kept it out of your face.

It made your stomach flip when he said it because you knew he meant it. He’d been beyond caring and helpful even letting you stay with him, doing quick stops at your apartment after you’d made sure your moms car wasn’t around so you could get some clothes and necessities.

He didn’t seem to mind the company at all, always smiling at you in the mornings and when he came home from the rink to the sight of you on his couch watching a movie or doing the dishes in the kitchen.

He’d even taken you to see his grandma a few more times. He really did mean it when he said he went every day, only missing a single night when it all hit you and you couldn’t stop crying. You felt awful the next morning he’d stay with you and begged him to apologize to her for you when he asked you to come along.

She had a soft knowing smile when you walked in behind him, patting her bed for you to sit and giving you advice on what to say to your mother.

“She’s your mother honey, she’ll love you no matter what you choose to do.” She had whispered to you and you felt your heart crack with the knowledge that wasn’t quite true.

“Her moms a lot like dad.” Sunghoon was mumbling from behind you, he was standing with his hands on your shoulder as you sat on the bed. You weren’t quite sure what that referred to but his grandmas mouth parted in understanding.

“Then there’s nothing you can do.” Her sharp flip in opinion made you glance back at Sunghoon. He gave you a look like he would explain later and you hesitantly looked away. “You can’t live for her, there’s no right there. You need to live for yourself and accept that relationship as a loss.”

You were replaying her words in your mind on a loop as you stood outside your door, suddenly feeling like a stranger who needed to knock before entering. It was never homely but this was the first time you truly realized how cold it felt here.

You knew Sunghoon was right behind you, giving you some space incase you were overwhelmed or felt like you needed to change your mind, but you reached your hand back for confirmation and took a deep breath when you felt his warm hand in yours.

Waiting with baited breath, your knuckles stung from the knocks against the door. You were bouncing your foot anxiously and counting each second before she opened the door.

For just a split second you saw shock and relief pass over her face before it was twisting up in anger and disgust.

“How dare you come here?” She was spitting towards you and you wanted to flinch back away from her, holding your resolve and letting her finish her comments. “And with him of all people.”

When she turned her murderous gaze towards Sunghoon, something was set off in you and you stepped to the side to block him from her view with a glare. She seemed taken back by this, used to you being paralyzed by guilt and fear.

“If you’re here to apologize I don’t want to hear it.” She hissed at you after the shock passed, her anger only building now at your defiance.

“I have nothing to apologize for.” You spat back at her, stuttering slightly with anxiousness. You felt Sunghoon squeeze your hand in his and take a step closer to you and you took a deep calming breath before continuing with a stronger tone. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m here to get my stuff and then we won’t have to see each other again.”

You weren’t sure where this came from, not having made any plans with Sunghoon to stay with him longer. A wave of insecurity hit you at the idea you were overstaying your welcome and he was going to deny you, leaving you with no choice but to find somewhere else to stay with. You had some distant family but you can’t imagine they’d be too ecstatic about taking on an adult with no job.

“And where on earth are you planning to go.” Your mother did what she did best and caught sight of your insecurity, magnifying it with a knowing sneer. “Nobody will want you, ‘ex prodigy’ won’t get you in anywhere.”

“She’s staying with me.” Sunghoon’s voice came from over your shoulder and you felt his front press against you, his hand on your shoulder to steady you. He was having a hard time seeing you like this, anger surging through him as he watched you go weak from fear.

“I want her and she can stay for as long as she needs to. We are just here to get her stuff, like she’s already told you.” His voice was hard and dark, your moms eyes flashing up at him with angry eyes as he spoke so firmly.

She didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you almost thought she’d turn you away and leave you with absolutely nothing to your name. Eventually, however, she took a step to the side of the doorway and waved the two of you in.

Sunghoon gave you a loaded glance once you were in your living room, you nodded at him and he made his way down the hall to your room while you stayed back with your mother.

“I see he knows his way around.” She scoffed at you and glared at his back as he walked away.

“It’s my house too.” You muttered back at her. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“He ruined you.” She barely let you finish your sentence before she was snapping at you, a finger being raised and pointed in your face. “This is all his fault.”

“This is your fault.” You felt tears well up in your eyes again and shook your head. “If you stopped being a coach and tried being my mother for just one second you would’ve realized that before it was too late.”

“You think he’ll keep you around?” She was twisting her face with a nasty sneer as she took another step towards you. “Regardless how I feel about him, that boy is talented. You think he’ll want you even when he’s an Olympic winner and you’re working a part time job?”

You knew she was wrong, that everything she was saying was so out of Sunghoon’s character and would disgust him just at the thought. But her ability to look into the deepest part of you and see your darkest fears caused you to tense up.

“He loves me.” Was all you could bring yourself to say, willingly him to hurry up and come back out here so the two of you could leave already.

“Yeah, love.” She laughed at the word like the idea of anybody loving you was ridiculous. “You don’t think I loved you? You think this was all for me… that I wanted to be a mean coach.”

She didn’t seem to notice her own contradictions, calling herself your coach right after saying she had loved you. She was getting angry again, wanting to continue this argument and prove you wrong. You were exhausted of it, knowing what Sunghoon’s grandma said was completely right.

“You didn’t love me.” Your voice was firm and certain, leaving no room for denial. “But not because of anything I did wrong.”

You saw Sunghoon over her shoulder, waiting in the hallway with a few boxes and a backpack over his shoulder. He was trying not to listen in on your conversation but also seemingly ready to step in.

He caught your eye and you smiled at him, despite your teary eyes, he could tell you felt relieved and that you were ready to move on from this part of your life. There was no right path here, and in skating, and that was okay.

Your mother didn’t say anything else, not even when he came over to you or when you held the door for him so he didn’t drop any of your boxes. She didn’t close the door after you’d left and you didn’t look back at her as she watched you get in his car and drive away from the only home you’d known.

“I don’t actually have to stay with you if it’s not okay.” You were whispering while he drove. “Thank you for saying it though, saved me from a lot of embarrassment.”

He looked over at you like you’d gone crazy, frowning and shaking his head. He was taking a hand off the wheel and grabbing your still shaky one that was resting on your knee.

“Of course you can stay with me princess.” His voice was serious but warm and you squeezed his hand in yours, suddenly overwhelmed with care and affection.

Maybe not the only home.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #sunghoon enhypen #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon angst #sunghoon ice skating #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon smut #sunghoon

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callmemaeverick · 4 months ago

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Disclaimer: This is pure indulgence okay. It's my interpretation of the Force, my view of the Jedi after ep 8, and my theory of what happened. P/S: pls read tag for TWs

PPS: If you didn’t know yet, Manny did a futuristic Sci-Fi podcast where he voiced a soldier. Theres quite a bit of injury involved.. if you wanna have some auditory aids for his voice and umm.. other stuff. It’s called Marigold Breach, it’s on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Realm and Youtube. (fork, I sound like an ad. Im not being paid I swear) WC: 1.6k

Never before in the time you were intuned with the Force have you felt so lost. So… unbalanced. When normally, tasks and missions were approached in a calm and collected manner, with a clear and peaceful mind, it had since warped into frantic breathing and a thundering heart, engulfed in compromising emotions.

Every sound grated, every jolt of the ship you were flying felt like a quake and you scrambled to keep the small craft stable. You couldn't afford major turbulence, not with him in such a state.

But you went as fast as you could, desperate to get into lightspeed so that all traces of you and your passenger are gone. As far as you could, though you doubt that you would find a corner of the galaxy that could hide you both. They would find you, you know this to be fact. It would only be a matter of time.

Fear threatened to consume you and for once; you were tempted to let it. After what you have seen, after what you have discovered; the teachings of the Jedi no longer seemed as righteous as you once thought it was. You scoffed, feeling stupid. Not once did you ever question your environment or the teachings of the Masters' as you rose through the ranks, from fledgling to Padawan. You took their word as law. After all, they were the Jedi and you wanted to be just like them.

Now, the thought of the Knights you had so venerated left you angry and confused. Hypocrites; all of them. All they wanted was power. Power over the Republic. Power over the Senate. And they had the audacity to condemn those who wanted to keep power for themselves.

Screw them.

xxxx

The planet you randomly chose was amber in colour, ringed with a manageable asteroid belt.

You were never really good at landing. In your impatience, you would misjudge the thrust and would sometimes send the ship careening too fast. And it was always resulted in a bruised chest; and an even bruised ego after the lecture your Master would unleash upon you.

The thought of your Master sent a lance through your heart; but you pushed it away and fought to calm down as you attempted the landing. You had wanted to be gentle, to make it a smooth landing. You managed; barely. The moment you touched down, you were out of the pilot's seat and into the belly of the ship.

He was exactly where you left him on your cot, stomach down. Had you not been so intuned with him, had you not been able to hear his soft breaths, you could have sworn he was dead. He should have been dead.

The memory of what you witness in secret breached your mind. You remembered the shock you had to bite down, the scream you had to swallow when you witness what happened to him.

How could she do that, to her own Padawan.

Shaking your head of the dark thoughts, you pulled out the emergency kit, grabbing saline and gauze and bacta patches into your arms. On your way to him, you also grabbed an IV drip.

The smell of charred flesh turned your stomach and you swallowed to keep nausea at bay as you kneeled by his side. His tunic was in taters, pieces of the material burned and melted onto his skin. Dirt and mud slicked his back, mixing into the red exposed flesh. You choked down a sob. You whispered his name.

A soft groan reached your ears, then a gasp.

"No, no, don't move." You reached for his shoulder, grasping gently, and you could feel the muscles tightening. "Shh… I'm here. It's just me."

Recognition smoothed his features and your name escaped his lips before his eyes fluttered open. His hand lifted but before it could reach your face; his body spasmed and he cried out.

"Fuck," You moved quickly, gently peeling his ruined tunic from his body. The moment you made contact; he whimpered. His body shook with the agony and your heart broke once more. "I know… I know. I'll be quick, I promise." His back was torn violently, almost shredded, and the worst of the injury was where the wounds connect, overlapped. Burnt muscle was exposed, black and red and oozing blood. Apologies fell from your lips like a prayer, begging for forgiveness for what you are about to do. Then, you flushed a gauze pad with saline and as gently as you could, wiped down the dirt.

You worked as carefully as you could, ignoring his cries and sobs. His body tensed then shook then tensed again every time you touched him. "Almost there. I'm almost done," Your voice cracked, the efforts to hold back tears and nausea proving too much.

As the pile of soiled gauze beside you grew; the blood trickled to a stop and finally, you were able to place the bacta patch on him. "This will help, okay." You told him, but he had long since passed out. You were mostly talking to yourself. "It's going to be over soon."

Once the bacta was on, you sat back and finally let your tears fall. He was unconsciousness, but alive. Thankfully alive. Wiping your face with your sleeves, you stood up and finally initiated ground security protocols.

xxxx

Something was approaching. You looked back and all you see was darkness but you kept running.

Exhaustion weighed down on you. It had been days. Fear slithered in your chest, wrapping around your heart, constricting your lungs. Anger and shame flared inside you, threatening to consume.

A crack of lightning, and a snake lunged at you and your back seared in an unimaginable pain. White hot and blazing. You felt your flesh rip and your vision blacked out. And then, cold. Freezing cold.

You ended and you began.

xxxx

The gasp that tore through your throat hurt like a mudscuffer. You blinked, frozen for a few seconds before feeling came back into your limbs.

The thing about Force dreams was that they don't normally show you the good. Most of the time, it was almost always something dark. But a Jedi is supposed to control their emotions, to release one's self and let go. Selflessness, it was the mark of a true Jedi.

Despite you renouncing the Order, you went through the motions of calming yourself down, or reigning in your emotions.

It’s been a few days… or what felt like a few days. The planet cycle is foreign to you and you’ve essentially lost track of time.

You looked over at the other occupant of the ship and sighed heavily. He was twitching as well, in his sleep, something you were familiar with.

You walked over and gently checked on the bacta. It was one of your last supplies but at least it was working. The wound was healing. Scarred… but healing. There will be mobility issues and you doubt if he would ever get his full range of motion, much less the ability to swing a saber again. Still, you wouldn't put it past him. He is as stubborn as you are.

You remembered growing up with him, the both of you in the Academy.

He was strong. Both of you were, but unlike you, he was the nail that stuck out. Where you obeyed, and did as you were told, he questioned everything. Where you hid your true emotions, he was not afraid to let it show.

And you were glad for it. Had he not done what he had done, questioned and researched, poked and prodded, you wouldn't have seen the true face of the Jedi Order. You wouldn't have known that they were just as power-hungry and backstabbing as the rest of the pirates in the galaxy. They just covered it under the guise of the greater good.

But in the end, he was also the one who paid the price.

They did not know you stole a ship and followed them. They did not know you saw them string him up and strip him of his lightsaber.

You heard his terrified pleas but they fell on deaf ears when it came to his Master. And yours.

He was a child, barely 20 years old. You both were, but they did not see him anymore. The pupil they once treasured. In their eyes, he needed to be eradicated. Just because he wanted to draw power from a source that was forbidden to them.

The buzz of an activated saber drew your attention to the lightwhip of Master Vernestra and your eyes widened in shock. Surely, she wouldn't, you thought.

But you were wrong.

All it took was one strike and his scream would haunt your nights for a long time.

You waited until they left. You had to. And once you were sure they were no longer around, you rushed to his side. It was then you decided you were not coming back.

The sound of your name pulled you from your anger and you turned to see him watching you.

"You're causing a quake," He remarked, and the chattering of loose metal around you ceased. You took a deep breath and reigned it in.

You scooted closer to him and leaned in close. You took stock of him. He was pale but at least he was lucid. His dark brown eyes were clear, which was another good sign.

"So… the favored pupil… finally left the nest, huh? Didn't think… you had it in you."

And he was teasing you.

And it broke you. You drank him in like a person obsessed, trying to make sense of what you were feeling. Anger, fear, confusion, relief. And something else you couldn’t name. But they roiled together inside you making tears pool in your eyes and your lips wobble.

"What… What are we going to do?"

His touch on your face and your eyes closed. He was real. He was alive.

"We'll survive." He told you. "We'll survive."

FIN

#the acolyte #the stranger #qimir #manny jacinto #qimir x reader #the stranger x reader #star wars #whump #tw #blood and gore #lashing #torture

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xuanhttps · 11 months ago

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⠀♩⠀⠀‿‿⠀⠀❀⠀⠀⠀﹒⠀⠀⠀꒷꒦⠀⠀⠀Ꮺ ֶָ۪ ⠀⠀⠀﹐ i will see your body bare

› in which ;; you will always be there.

› containing ;; azul ashengrotto, leona kingscholar, silver vanrouge , gn!reader (you/yours)

› disclaimer ;; not proofread and written at midnight, kinda songfic??? not rlly but i plaster mitski lyrics here and there bc im in love with her carnally

a treasury is not complete without a pearl — ashengrotto, azul.

he is dependant, even if he hides it. azul would rather eat octopus than admit to his dependancy on your love. someone as strong and independent as the ramshackle prefect would surely laugh at his desperation! he cannot be weak. surely. that is what he must be telling himself, you think as you pull his head closer to you. resting it inbetween your shoulder and neck as his eyes droop. after hours of managing the lounge, perhaps the big fish mafia boss needs his own break.

you lay him down in bed, not before taking off his blazer and hanging it on the chair. he lays down in your bed, although uncomfortable in theory the simple scent of that perfume schoenheit bought you will never fade. he sighs lovingly, gazing at your face which is just so.. responsible, taking care of him like this.

i will wash your hair at night, and dry it off with care.

other nights, the two of you bathe together in his dorm. your hair knitted in his curly, white locks as you massage the shampoo into his scalp, only looking at his face to avoid him feeling insecure, you know him so perfectly. it drives him crazy in love. he feels so safe, even with his body bare. with you, its as if the past 17 years of his life never occurred. all that matters is the soft caress of your fingers against his skin, the sweet words you whisper as you press kisses to his neck and back. how you promise to him, that he will always be your pearl.

you are the one thing i cannot lose — kingscholar, leona.

it should be considered unbecoming of him, to be so loving with you. to let you tangle your finger tips in his braids as you rub his ears as if he were a housecat. his grumbles go unnoticed, you both know how much he loves them. how he will always lean into your touch. how, for once, as embarrassing as it is.. he wishes for someone to fall back on. someone like you. the perfect, unstoppable prefect.

ever since his overblot, his eyes have been on you. the persistence you hold is something he wishes for. yet once he is in your lap, or you rest in his, that resolve turns to specks of sand in afterglow savannah. he could be stripped of his royal title, and he would still dismiss it if it meant feeling your hands graze over his skin. or seeing the ways in which your expressions change with your mood.

cause' all I ever wanted is here, all i ever wanted.

right. he could shed tears when he remembers how dear he is to you. what did he do to deserve this? a second place player, a second place prince. always second place. why is he first to you? is it pity? he should be enraged. he should growl and remind you that he is far from weak. yet, he melts into you like cotton candy in the rain. hes weak for you, youre weak for him.

i see your smile in my dreams — vanrouge, silver

he wishes to see more of you. with you, more than ever, silver wishes his narcolepsy could just disappear. silver is abundantly aware of how much he misses, your smile and your voice.. how much more he could see them, how much more he would hear them. how addicting it would be, like a drug that only brings fortune. silver wishes he could protect you from the forsaken world you are trapped in. yet despite that, he knows you are strong. silver cannot help but look up to you, you who will always be the strongest person in his heart.

so by the time you wake, ill be brave.

he rests his head in your lap, like a child longing for the embrace of a parent. the experience carries a scent of childhood, if such a thing may be described. like a warmth enveloping the two of you. thorns in your side wither into dust when he is near. his eyes glimmer like stars fallen to the sand, a long walk barefoot with the grains against your feet and the wind passing by like time being a dream silver finds hopeful. perhaps in another world, he could stay awake to see your face much longer. should he be blind to such a rejuvenating sight, silver will drown in the sensation of your touch like a diver at sea. he may never return, if you leave he may never be the same. for, his home lies in your heart alone.

#🌀 ;; xuanhttps #twst x reader #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #silver twst #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #silver twst x reader #x gn!reader #x reader #fluff??#im so tired but i finally finished this yay #thinkinf of othervideas

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ianales · 1 year ago

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High Infidelity (Lo’ak x Omatikaya! Reader)

a/n: my first time writing so im sorry if this is kinda shitty.

after 5 years with the Metkayina clan the sullys finally returned to the forest bringing along tsireya and ao’nung. Reader reunites with lo’ak her promised mate, to find out he already has one.

Warnings: angst, cheater?Lo’ak (sorry yall)

disclaimer: past lo’ak is 19, (cheater! lo’ak is 23)

part 1 ——— part 2 (tbc)

The horns were blaring indicating that there were someone coming, people rushed to the landing area to see who is was.

“TORUK MACTO AND HIS FAMILY HAS RETURNED” someone yelled. That caught my attention immediately, it’s been five years since the sullys brought the love of my life away, it's been hell but i managed.

According to your friends and family, you two were a match made in heaven, initially it was an arranged marriage, the plan was to fake it for one year. However slowly it turned real, it was the best thing that happened in my life.

When the sullys announced that they were leaving, i was devastated, i spent the last days with lo'ak, i couldn't leave his side.

"i'll come back for you, i promise, me and you against the world yea?" his hazel eyes staring deep into mine never failed to make me feel safe. "me and you against the world." i smiled.

I rushed to the landing zone, abandoning the necklace i was making, it felt like my legs were flying off, when i finally arrived i pushed my way to the front of the crowd, my heart fluttered at the sight of him, "LO'AK! i yelled on the top of my lungs, it only took him one second to look over her, i was as happy as i could get, however his expression wasn't mirrored, but replaced with a expression i can't read.

It was until then i saw someone behind him, a girl, my expression faltered, it's okay maybe she's his friend. my eyes flickered down to her arms, wrapped around his waist, she had beautiful curls, light blue skin, her eyes were these captivating baby blues, she was beautiful.

"(name)!!!" my eyes left lo'ak's and connected with Tuk's. she jumped off of Neytiri's ikran and rushed over to me, i immediately took her in my arms and gave her a big hug, "i missed you Tuk!" closing my eyes, "me too! lo'ak look it's (name)!".

"yeah i know i saw..". i was too focused on hugging Tuk to realize that he was already right in front of me, god he was so different, much more taller, muscular, he smelled different, his braids were longer, filled with new beads but he was still lo'ak, my lo'ak.

i stared into his eyes, my smile appeared again, i was just so happy to see him, i leaned forward and hugged him, my arms wrapped around his neck, he returned the favour and wrapped his around my waist. after a while i let go, staring into his eyes, i leaned in for a kiss but he dodged it, leaning his face to the right allowing my lips to land on his cheek.

i frowned, and let go of him, "whats wrong?" my eyes flickering to the girl i assumed to be his friend, "who's she?", she noticed my attention was on her, she was walking over here, why was she walking over here?, "hi! my name is tsireya! you must be one of lo'ak's friends, he talked a lot about his friends back home, i just can't wait to meet them!". "im sorry? what? friends??" i chuckled, "no, no, no im lo'ak's m-", "best friend! she's my best friend" he dryly chuckled cutting me off. "(name)! tsireya is my uhh my uh..", "lo'ak? are you okay?" tsireya questioned.

"(name) tsireya is my mate.." he finally said. i didn't know how react, i was frozen, tears filled my eyes, the surrounding omatikayans’ chatting with jake and neytiri looking around shocked, there were quiet gasps and murmurs all around. "lo'ak why are they reacting like this?...". Tsireya questioned uncomfortably. before lo'ak had the chance to come up with another lie, i gathered upp all my feelings, and couraged up to say,

"because he is, was my mate”

#ao’nung x reader #avatar the way of water #avatar twow #lo’ak fic #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak avatar #lo’ak headcannons #lo’ak cheats but its okay because we might end up with ao’nung lol #lo’ak edit #avatar #blue people avatar #first fic #disney #neteyam #series #first part #literature

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croucify · 7 months ago

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✶ STARGIRL — hamzahthefantastic x reader

007 ✶ Party Monster

stargirl masterfile – next – previous

SUMMARY: hamzah has a crush on a youtuber who's always out and about and slushies see their relationship progress on social media! (smau)

DISCLAIMER: reader is a brown haired girl and for some pics that aren't faceless, i'll be using olivia rodrigo cause i love her and she’s filipino like me hehehe

for y/n @ynlnupdates

It's been rumored that Y/N is hosting a party tonight and has invited multiple of her friends. My DMs are open for any photos or videos you have from said party <3

41 replies 25 retweets 73 likes

user222 BABES hamzah just posted a pic of her in his story

↳ user791 the way he's got the biggest crush on her and he's so open about it omg

user086 oh my gosh im so excited for all the pictures

user345 all she does is party bruh and she fr playing wit hamzah's feelings

the music was blaring loudly in the bar and different colored lights were being flashed. you were going around the bar, greeting all your friends and meeting people they brought to the party with them. behind you was hamzah, you had his hand in yours as you walked around and you would squeeze his hand to see if he was doing alright.

you two were together almost the whole night, stuck to each other like you were attached by the hip.

until your mutual friends arrived and split you guys apart. he was occupied by them all night while you were hosting the party and catching up with your friends.

at some point, you were looking around the bar for him, feeling incomplete without hin by your side and suddenly, you bump into him.

"oh my god hi," you said, a soft blush rising to your cheeks.

he was about to speak when another one of your friends called out for you and pulled you away from him. you mouth sorry to him and he just smiles at you.

the whole night, hamzah was on your mind. he was on your mind when you did shots with your friends, when another boy flirted with you, when you danced, anything. when hamzah saw you on the dance floor with another guy, he felt himself tense up, avoiding you the rest of the night.

it had felt weird. you two were just friends right?

right?

as the night was slowly coming to an end, whenever your friends bid goodbye, you insisted on coming with them outside until they got into their ride.

when the bar was empty, you made your way towards hamzah who was sitting on one of the stools with a drink in his hand. you took a seat beside him. he was quiet and you were too though he could see you from his peripheral vision.

your head was in your hands, hamzah calling for the bartender you had hired and asked for water.

he taps your shoulder and your head shoots up slowly, he opens the bottle then hands it to you with a small smile. you feel your stomach doing backflips before smiling at him and taking the bottle.

"thanks," you tell him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"wanna go now? i'll drive," he tells you but you shook your head.

you got off your stool, pulling it closer to his before sitting on it again. you place your head on his shoulder and a hand on top of his. "let's just stay here for a while."

hamzah felt nervous, biting his lip to hide his smile but fails. he was glad you couldn't see him. then right after, he wraps and arm around your waist, hand fiddling where your top ended.

you had fallen asleep in hamzah's arms after a while then he drove you both back to the air bnb, him wiping your makeup off before letting you get changed into your sleeping clothes.

"night hamzah, you're the best." you said softly as he tucked you in your bed.

"good night."

liked by 40,278 and others

tiktokroom Y/N spotted getting cozy with TikTok star, Vinnie Hacker at her party last night. Could a romance spark between these two? 👀

view comments

user628 no fucking way

user001 hamzah & y/n all the way bro

user372 told yall she was playing with hamzah's feelings

slushyfan noooooo

user123 thought she was dating hamzah???

user555 @ynln girlll wake up

it was the next day already and the first thing hamzah had seen on his phone was the news that came out about the girl he was in the room with.

martin had texted, asking if it were true and he had no idea what to answer. after all, he saw them dancing together last night.

who's to say she didn't have anything feelings for the guy?

✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @thatmartinkitten @tumb1rgir1z @mfcherry @ldrvinyl @certainfestivalnerdshepherd @seasidelily @jisyng @brucewayngfreal @beamuah @maybankfr @nickmillersn1gf @ivvees-blog

LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!

#hamzahthefantastic #hamzahthefantastic x reader #savi's works ✶#savi’s stargirl ✶#hello hamzah!

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har-rison-s · 11 months ago

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tell me i'm good | coryo snow x fem!reader

a/n: ohmygod you guys why did this take me like almost 3 weeks....... mnadfahsdf anyways um this might be like the last chapter idk ???!!!! what would you guys like me to do.... cos im kinda losing my grip on coryo rn, im at the end of my tbosas copy and im just so disgusted w him idek ???? but uhh yeah. sorry i'm a bit of a mess lately. i did have some little things i could be including in further writings, like y/n meeting tigris, or y/n reuniting w coryo after he returns from 12, but there's not much material for like whole chapters, idk. hope you at least enjoy this and let me know if u guys have any ideas!! happy reading <3

previous chapter

coryo masterlist main masterlist

word count: 4.2k

themes: little angst, smut

warnings / disclaimers: smut, fingering, praise, sorta sub!coryo cos that's what i live for. coryo has a praise kink, sue me

gif credit goes to author / owner <3

usually Coriolanus would feel unease in a rich family’s home, like y/n’s was. unease because he felt like he belonged there, in homes like that, but he didn’t exactly deserve to. the snow name had fallen to ruin and bankruptcy because of district twelve, and they’d been living in hunger with barely any money since then. it had made Coriolanus lose the confidence he wanted to regain, about himself and the way he carried his family name.

he always put on a certain stance and grace when walking into homes like this, a way that would never make the hosts doubt he came from a place any different than this. being in homes like this made him feel ashamed of his living conditions. he was grateful towards Tigris for putting in her efforts to upkeep their home, but he could never escape the fact that this wasn’t how they were supposed to live, it gnawed at him day and night. and when he was in homes like this, Coriolanus felt uneasy because his home was nothing like these ones.

but when it was just him and y/n in her shower, her bathroom and her bedroom, he felt none of that unease or shame. he did feel a little envious, but that’s where it ended. the other spiteful and loathing feelings he usually felt were gone. perhaps it was just her effect on him that did it, but he felt like admitting that would make him vulnerable. he knew it, just didn’t want to admit to himself. to her – always. he couldn’t hide her effect on him if he tried.

the one difference he realized between her home and his was that the outside world was completely quiet here. from the snow penthouse Coriolanus could hear street noises – rats, people, cars, trams. grandma’am’s singing was really the worst of the noises, but that was a different case. it almost spooked him how quiet it was here. he liked it. lying beside y/n in her bed, both of them wearing pyjama shirts and underwear, he glanced at her reading a book that looked older than anything he’d seen before.

“i thought most books were burned in the war, or even in the old world,” Coryo admitted to her and watched as corners of y/n’s lips tugged into a gentle smile at that. she had her back against the headboard, and could look down at Coryo. she didn’t, her eyes were still on the tiny words printed on the pages.

“they were,” she said, “my mother got only three as a gift when she was a kid. they were her most prized possessions, she always had them with her.” y/n sighed. “they survived the war, it seems, and everything else, and joined my father’s library.” she finally looked at him and smiled. she closed the book, but not without leaving a bookmark where she had stopped, and shoved it onto her nightstand. she shut off the light and slid to lay beside Coryo. her hand under her pillow, she looked at him moving to lay on his side to face her, tucking his hands under his pillow, too. she smiled and Coryo mirrored that, too.

“grandma’am has some books at home,” he said to her, “but i’m sure she hasn’t touched them in ages,” he added and made y/n laugh.

“do you think Lucy Gray has books at home?” y/n asked suddenly, and Coryo’s expression changed. he’d completely forgot about her until y/n mentioned her just now. she was still in the arena, hiding from Coral and the others. y/n looked into his eyes as the motions changed in the blue of them. “her songs do sound like ones from a book,” she added in an innocent voice, still waiting for any sort of answer from Coryo.

he huffed. “they sure do,” he replied quietly, shortly, “but they’re her own. at least the ones she’s sang so far,” he said then and looked down between him and y/n.

“i really loved the one she sang when you were supposed to have your interview,” y/n admitted, “the very first words, something about when she was younger, she fell into hollers and now when she’s a girl, she fell into that mystery boy’s arms. those really touched my heart,” she said with a smile and still looked to Coryo. he shyly looked into her eyes, “made me think of you.” she all but mumbled quietly.

he made a half-smile. “really?” he asked and she confirmed with a nod.

“sounds like me and Lucy Gray were both angry little ladies when we were younger,” y/n said and rolled over onto her back, “i certainly was. gave my parents and the babysitters pains,” she sighed, “i do regret being hard on them, but i never regret anger that i had, whatever it might have been about.” she turned her head to Coryo, who had suspected that she’d turned away from him all together by laying on her back now. but she didn’t turn away. just felt shy. “mother used to say there would never be a boy who liked me if i was always this angry,” y/n said and hummed quietly.

“well, she was wrong,” Coryo immediately said and reached a hand out to stroke her delicate cheek, “i like you, and not just because you’re angry, but it’s a good characteristic to have,” he said and it made y/n turn to lay on her side to face him again, a smile on her face. he did like her anger, it showed courage. but it unnerved him sometimes, just like Sejanus did when he spoke up against teachers, dr Gaul or anyone else higher standing. y/n and Sejanus could both get into serious trouble just by being themselves. oh, but isn’t it fun, Coriolanus, to have such strong, different people around you?

“that will prove her wrong when we tell her about us,” y/n said in a hopeful voice, and Coryo nodded before he could respond otherwise. he wanted to give her a smile, but instead he gave her the ghost of one, his thoughts slithering away elsewhere.

“do you think... it’s good arms that you’re falling into? my arms?” he asked, wondering the worth of those lyrics to her. and his worth to her, and overall. she’d practically just admitted that she had fallen into his arms, into him, so he had to know. he had his anxieties about what he did in the arena not too many hours ago, about what it could mean, what it could change, who would find out. now that his mind wasn’t entirely preoccupied with other things and she had reminded him about Lucy Gray, Coriolanus’ thoughts ran wild again.

y/n put her hand on his cheek and stroked her thumb over his pearly skin. she wasn’t sure about her answer. believing Coryo was good was different than him actually being good, and she’d always believed her own good thoughts of people who weren’t entirely good rather than seeing them for who they truly were and accepting that. she knew Coryo wasn’t perfect, not really, under the surface, and sometimes he made very strange compromises. but not to her. he’d always been good to her. “i think so,” she said finally, quietly, “you’re good to me.”

he shook his head, and her hand moved to his lips and then back to his cheek again. Coryo felt a surge of euphoria at her fingers against his lips. “i try to be, but...” he looked into her eyes, “i don’t know if i am good.” he admitted and y/n’s eyes gave him a puzzled glance. “i couldn’t tell you before, but,” he took a deep breath, “i killed one of the tributes. in the arena.” he finally said, no distractions, no avoiding the subject, just straight-forward truth. laying himself and his actions out in the open.

y/n’s eyebrows puzzled, then drew together as her eyes searched all over, then looked to a spot between her and Coryo. he’d killed someone. he’d killed a kid and then just gone to her home and... without telling her about it. truly, he was in shambles when she saw him, and could hardly get a word out, but... she took her hand away and curled it under her pillow. she felt used. she didn’t look at him, though Coryo wanted to beg her to do so, to say anything, do anything. anything other than this silence.

“did you come here with... those intentions? did you want to just... sleep with me and then go back to your home?” she asked him finally, all kinds of thoughts were racing through her mind. “like i’m just some...” profanities circled her mind.

Coryo shook his head at her voiced assumptions and scooted closer to her under her covers. he’d made her upset, but not in the way he’d anticipated. girls do have a different view of everything, they really do. “no, no, it wasn’t like that at all,” he told her. wasn’t it? “i didn’t want to go home,” he said, “i just ran and ran until i recognized your house and... i just knew it was the right place to be. i couldn’t be with anyone else, y/n,” he almost pleaded. she gave him a glance.

“and what then? i wasn’t inviting you to do all these things to me, with me,” she said, suddenly feeling nauseaus from the thoughts she was having, the assumptions that clouded her mind and swam into her words, “you wanted to.”

“i did want to, and no, it wasn’t—ugh,” Coryo turned to lay on his back, “i just couldn’t bring myself to tell you then. you-you’re where i feel the safest. and... you are irresistible to me, as i’ve said before.” he turned to lay on his side again, where y/n had pulled into herself more, her arms around her own frame, eyes staring blankly into her bedding. “you’re not just someone to me, i would never use you like that,” Coryo assured her, and y/n looked into his eyes finally. he felt relief, if only momentary. she’d looked at him, at least, “i couldn’t even tell you what you mean to me. too much, is what you mean to me.”

he offered her a smile, but she just looked back at him. “so what we did wasn’t just a distraction for you?” she asked in a quiet voice, and Coryo shook his head, happy they were on the same page finally.

“no, y/n, it meant the world to me,” he told her, “and so do you.” he promised and managed that smile again. she believed him. she didn’t care that it could make her a fool later – that was later, and not now. now she was his world, she was his solace, his comfort, his safe place. “i love you,” Coryo said. didn’t i tell you that already? he searched her eyes and she nodded, finally.

“i love you, too,” she said back and Coryo held her face in his hands with her silent permission, “i just wish i could know what goes on in that head of yours,” she admitted, though fearing it may make Coryo lock himself up and never say a word to her again. some would call knowing what the other is thinking an invasion of privacy, but she didn’t see it that way, and neither did Coryo.

“i wonder the same thing about you,” he admitted back and y/n raised her eyebrows momentarily at that statement, a little surprised, though she was glad to hear that he felt the same way, “i never want to make you feel worthless to me, y/n, i—”

she shook her head, “you can’t really control that,” she pointed out.

“but i want to try,” he said, and thought that it would be best if he could control every aspect of how she felt about him or what he made her feel. her anxieties were out of his hands, but he wanted them to go away, and wanted to do his best for her to not have them at all. not plant the seeds for those anxieties.

“tell me about it,” she urged him after again shaking her head gently at him. she tucked her face closer to his, “did you do it for Lucy Gray?” she asked and looked up into his eyes again.

“well, yes,” he answered, “but he would have killed me and Sejanus, too. it was...”

“self-defense?” she asked and Coryo nodded. “they sent you in there after him and didn’t even provide protection.” protection from who? kids who have been pushed out into an arena, onto a stage, and told to perform and survive?

“that was the catch, yes,” Coryo said, “he ran after us, though he was limping, and attacked us. i didn’t...” he gulped and looked down, “i didn’t want to hurt him, but... i felt something, and i... couldn’t stop.” y/n looked into his eyes. “i don’t feel... i don’t think i’m the same anymore.”

y/n pulled him into an embrace, his head against her chest, damp curls tickling her neck, and held him tightly. it was almost like cradling him, so gently, comfortingly, offering her solace. she didn’t know what to say to him, what words to offer. it seemed they’d all ran out. the smart-mouth y/n had nothing to say for the first time in her life.

“do you still think i’m good?” Coryo asked quietly, his voice muffled. y/n sighed, her eyelids fluttering, eyes turning glassy as no doubt Coryo’s were too, she could hear his voice on the whiny, sob tone. he needed comfort, reassurance.

“i think you can be,” she told him her honest thoughts quietly, despite knowing it wasn’t a direct answer to his question. Coryo gulped and pulled back, just to look at her, just to hold her, too.

“tell me i’m good,” he pleaded and took her face in his hands again. y/n felt confused, and looked at him with eyes very much expressing that, but couldn’t stop herself from what she said next.

“you’re good,” she assured in an unsure voice, and was taken aback by Coryo kissing her. hard, sudden, urgent, desperate. she could hardly draw breath, his teeth were clashing against hers, lips hungry on hers, tongue licking at her teeth, the inside of her mouth, hungry, starving, desperate, “you’re good.” she said again, still sounding unsure but less than the first time. Coryo whimpered into her mouth at her words, he felt himself twitch beneath the fabric of his loaned pyjama pants. seriously? he asked himself at first. but then, this is good. this is doing something good for you. listen to her, “you’re good, Coryo,” y/n gasped into his mouth. she could feel him against her inner thigh now that their bodies were intertwining again. Coryo moved his lips to her neck, nipping, licking, softly biting, suckling at her skin, drawing out the most delicious of noises out of her, only making himself more desperately aroused from it, more desperate for her, “Coryo, you’re...” she couldn’t even finish her sentence as she writhed in his hold, her hands grasping at the skin under his shirt, fingers teasingly slipping between his hot skin and the elastic of his pyjama pants.

“say it,” he reminded her in a whisper, a request in the disguise of a whine. Coryo grinded his hips against y/n’s, drove his growing length against her cunt, and found warmth there immediately. y/n almost cried out her next words, the heat between her and Coryo making her nearly as desperate as him. desperate for each other, like bitches in heat.

“you’re so good, Coryo,” she squeezed out and pushed her hips up against his. she put her hands on his chest and pushed him back on the bed, his back on her soft-as-ever pillows, and his eyes looking up at her. she just adored the sight of him like this, but couldn’t hold herself away from kissing him, stopping her short adoration of him. he needed her. he needed her support. so she’d give him that. she had always been ready to do that. take care of him. she’d done that in another way time and time over already.

she took his hand and pushed it in her pyjama bottoms, and Coryo groaned, relishing at touching her at her most vulnerable part again, this ever-inviting slick warmth that was all his to touch, to please, to discover.

“touch me, Coryo,” she breathed onto his lips, and he nodded in half a second. so compliant, so obedient, doing what he’s told. afraid for what may come if he doesn’t. afraid of the chaos that comes for not following orders. always melting like chocolate under her hot touch, compliant to her. his fingers ran through her folds, covered in slick, making her gasp and arch her back, hair in the air. Coryo watched her in awe, in adoration. she was a goddess above him. assuring him he was good, telling him what to do, listening to him, falling apart under his touch, such an effortlessly beautiful girl. he had lucked out. Coryo kept his eyes on her face as he pushed two of his fingers inside her walls. it made y/n sigh and shudder in relief, he was delicate on her soreness, like balm on a bruise, “Coryo,” she moaned and felt his fingers curl inside of her, making her eyes roll back into her head, “fuck, you’re so good for me, Coryo.”

he nodded again, eyelids fluttering and lips stretching into a smile. her words and noises fed his ego and flattered his heart that so longed for words of praise and recognition. they also made his hard-on grow in his pyjama pants, and he felt kind of shameful for it. he grazed her walls with his fingertips and felt how it made her shudder sitting above him, her cunt squeezing him in, her thighs tightening around his hips—locked in. Coryo moaned, he felt his hand between his clothed, growing erection and her cunt, and it was the perfect squeeze. her warmth pressing against his own, pulling him in. he pumped his fingers faster inside her, delicious sounds from her cunt going straight to his erection.

“Coryo,” y/n mewled and rocked her hips on his hand. he could tell she was desperate, and that meant she was close, too. she was nearly crying, her soreness from before joining the immense pleasure Coryo was providing, “be good for me and make me come, Coryo, please,” she half-pleaded, half-commanded, and Coryo nodded again, beyond turned on but still so focused. his other hand reached around her hips and pushed a splayed palm on the small of her back, pushing her core more into his hand, down onto his length. y/n groaned and gasped for him, but she took his hand and guided it up her pyjama shirt, over her breast, and made him squeeze the flesh of it. that made her whimper and only yearn for her release more. she was oh-so-close, about to fall over that sweet edge for the second time that night.

Coryo pulled his trump move of pressing a digit against her clit and ground his hips up against hers again, trying to maintain a rhythm, and knew that was it, he could feel the difference in her body immediately. she jerked, and her thighs trembled—she was so sensitive still—and she drew ragged breaths. y/n collapsed on top of Coryo as she came, uttering his name under her breath, and he drew his hand from under her shirt to wrap it around her frame to just make her feel his ever-long support. her hair in his face, they were both gasping for air, skin on skin, and Coryo didn’t even realise until he felt not just her wetness on his fingers, but his own under his hand, soaking through his pyjama pants, that he’d come, too. he hardly even felt it, unlike that first time just a mere hour or two ago. his cheeks blushed a bright pink on his pale skin and he tremendously, though stupidly, hoped she wouldn’t notice.

but when she kissed his cheek and his neck after regaining herself, he sort-of forgot about the little detail, melting into her affections on him. “Coryo, you did so good for me,” y/n quietly praised him and then raised her head to look at him. he shyly looked into her eyes and managed a smile in response. what she did next surprised him immensely. she reached her hand into her pyjama pants and gathered her own white honeydew liquid on her fingers and then drew that hand of hers to Coryo’s own lips, “taste me,” she breathed with a compelling spell on her tongue that had Coryo not even thinking twice before he did as he was told.

she slid her fingers in-between his pretty bow lips, watching it happen with hungry eyes all the while, and Coryo welcomed her digits with delight. his tongue swirled around her fingers as he sucked her liquid off them, and moaned at the taste of her, all the while keeping his eyes on hers. she grinned faintly, just adoring the sight of her fingers in his mouth, his messy curls and pink cheeks. y/n leaned down close to his face and pulled her fingers out slowly, his tongue following right after them. she trailed her fingers across his lips, tracing their edges and corners as Coryo parted them wider, she looked onto him with insatiable hunger, turning him into a complete puddle under her. she kissed his lips with her hand across his cheek, thumb digging into the corner of his lips, right in the middle of her kisses. it turned Coryo on again, even though he deemed it impossible.

“how am i?” y/n asked quietly with a smile on her lips, and Coryo returned the expression.

“sweet like sugar,” he told her the absolute truth, making y/n smile wider. he lightly bit into her thumb as he looked up at her, “we both need to change pyjama pants,” he said quietly, suddenly shy. y/n looked down at between them, which was the last thing Coryo wanted her to do, but the look on her face assured him altogether.

“oh, Coryo, that’s alright,” she assured him about his accident and caressed his cheek with her hand, bearing the sweetest face of all as she looked at him, “don’t be sorry.” she pleaded and Coryo nodded with a true smile on his pink bow lips. he clearly enjoyed listening to her telling him what to do, and had no problem obeying her. “we’ll find some in the laundry room. but after that we’re really going to bed,” she said, and he nodded again, “you do need your rest for tomorrow.”

right, tomorrow. the games were still on, and Coryo was required to attend. he should be walking into Heavensbee hall high and proud—if no one had killed Lucy Gray during the night, of course—acting his best and looking his best, pretending like there was not a scratch on him. another day, another act. though, could he really hide something like what he’d done tonight from the whole world? they were watching, for sure.

“will you be there with me, tomorrow?” he asked as y/n pulled him up from the bed, and she looked up at him with a special glint in her eyes. she could cry at his earnest question. he wanted her there. maybe her little fantasy of them walking into Heavensbee hall hand in hand finally could become reality. they’d kept up the casual classmate relationship appearance to everyone else so far, no one even suspected a thing of the slightest bit of friendship between them. it should be pretty obvious, but their classmates proved otherwise.

y/n squeezed his hand hard in hers and gave him the biggest smile, “of course i will,” she assured him, “if you want me to be there, with you, in front of everyone.” she pointed out and seemed to be asking him a question without actually asking him.

Coryo realized then that this night between them had changed everything. especially this last intimate exchange, but he didn’t exactly know why. it just had changed his whole attitude towards her and their secret friendship that had recently turned into a relationship. he didn’t even care that anyone knew now, in fact – he wanted to show her off to the whole world, he wanted them all to know that he was with her, that he had landed her, that he belonged to her. that was with him, that she loved him, that they loved each other. nothing else mattered to him, really. he forgot about the rest of the world when he was with her.

“i do want that, yes,” Coryo told her with pride on his face, “i want them all to see us.” he said simply, but implied much more, his eyes expressing conviction and charisma, and he made y/n smile wide. smile like she was the happiest girl in the world. with Coryo, she might just be that.

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yutarot · 4 months ago

Text

PARADISE FOUND [n.jm]

wc: 7.1k

after your bestfriend, jeno, drags you to a party the night before the biggest day of the summer, you wake up too late to get there on time. but maybe the tide will wait for you - if the tide was in the form of a bleached blond surfer with a hatred for every little thing you do, and a connection that leads you back to eachother; again, and again and again.

WARNINGS: mention of alcohol/being drunk. mention of sex. depiction of near drowning/injury

DISCLAIMER: all events/portrayals of people are fake and from my imagination, in no way am i claiming that they act like this irl

it has been 11 months since you have spoken to him. 11 months of avoiding every lingering attempt of eye contact he has tried to pursue on you. and each and every month has sunk you lower and lower into a state of shock at the initial moment he broke up with you. you were a mess to put it simply.

but summer was coming back around, you would be moved from life-guarding the indoor college pool to the beach and that meant for one thing and one thing only.

you would see him again. you would see yangyang again.

“yn? ynnnnn?” your best friend calls out for you around your dorm. “girl where the fuck are you?”

giselle has been there for you every step of the way during your first year of college, giving you the guidance but also the space you need, you respect her a lot more than you ever tell her. now that you're in your second year, it makes you wonder if you ever should.

“i’m here.” you laugh, grinning at her lousy attempt to find you, tucked away in the bathroom. she walks in, hands covering her eyes in terror as she realises she’s walked in on you ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ as your brothers friend, mark, likes to call it.

“not a single warning???” the door slams behind her and you cant help but laugh, hearing the faint voice of your other roommate, julie, questioning if giselle is okay.

you love your friends, you really do, each day consumed with laughter and mindfulness. you wouldn’t trade the dynamic you guys share for the world, not even if it meant for you to be happier.

of course you have other friends too, your closest friend jeno, being your most notable, even amongst giselle and julie. but the comfort you feel with the girls allows for you to share your feelings in a different light, even if you are, at times, smothered by darkness.

you head to your morning class, julie at your side. although you’re both very different in personality; julie a sweeter and a quieter version of yourself, you both beam together in studies. being an english literature major meant you were able to put your thoughts into words, whilst she strived to put her words, unspoken, onto paper.

the sun was brighter than usual, an indication towards the beginning of summer.

“i cannot WAIT for this summer.” julie sneered sarcastically.

“come on, everyone seems to love the beach except you. we literally go to a uni, on the beach, surely you should have expected-“

“i came for jaehyun.”

fair enough. you couldn’t argue with that.

jaehyun was jenos cousin, you’d met him many times at jenos christmas parties, their strikingly similar sense of style overwhelmed you at first, but you soon became aware of julie’s little crush on jaehyun, watching as it bloomed into what now is their relationship.

she squealed at the thought of her boyfriend. “6 months on saturday!” holding your hand, she danced around you, you couldn’t help but laugh at her switch in attitude. “ yn im so happy you lead me to him.”

“urg don’t get cheesy on me now, we’re about to read shakespeare in class i dont need to hear it now before i even step foot in the lecture hall.”

huffing, she turns away from you, leading you into the hall. your first class of the summer.

—

your phone buzzes in your pocket. again. again. again. your anger getting the better of you as you roll your eyes, digging into the pocket of your shorts to read the messages.

[jen] where are u?

[jen] will u reply pls

[jen] im bored

your anger subsides - albeit only slightly - at the sight of your bestfriends name as it flashes up on the screen.

[jen] i know you can see these

[jen] your probably watching them come through and laughing at me 😕😕😕😕

you try not to laugh to yourself, the library sounding empty yet being full of people working.

[yn] the library

[yn] dont come here ill meet u

[jen] beach bar?😁

[yn] beach bar.

packing up your things, you head down the library steps and wander your away across the sandy path to the beach. it isn’t a short walk, your entire college campus is practically on the beach itself, causing for horrible windy winters but the most beautiful place to be in summer. this only means that the winter break is extended, with the college staying open in summer to maximise its use of the beach.

you spot the familiar palm-tree umbrellas and the somehow constant reggae music from afar, squinting around the sofa’s for a hint of black hair until you spot him.

sitting down he looks across at you in wonder, brows furrowing.

“damn, didn’t think you’d really come to be honest”

you hold yourself back from slapping him clean in the face.

“what’s that supposed to mean.”

“yanno….” he looks around before leaning forward, somehow whispering yet shouting at the same time, “yangyang works over t h e r e.” he points with obnoxiously large movements towards the surf shop, using not only two hands but his entire body to point in the direction of your ex boyfriend.

you stare at jeno, unamused.

“i’m about to leave if you keep doing that.”

“noooooooooo stayyyyyy” his voice is monotone, sarcastic.

your’s and jenos teasing of one another was your favourite part about your friendship, knowing so much about eachother that you know exactly what makes the other person crack. but there’s also times where a serious tone can easily take over conversation, and you both can become mutual to each others moods quite quickly.

you bury yourself in the sofa, showing that you have no intent on leaving anytime soon which surprises jeno, eyebrows raised.

“i’ll have to get over him at some point.” you shrug, “why not now?”

he grins at that, nodding in pride.

“atta girl.”

you both talk for hours, talking about your assignments, your friend group and getting excited over plans you could make in the upcoming weeks. one of which jeno seems particularly passionate about.

“beach bonfires every night.” he chants and you look up at him in bewilderment.

“jeno you know i hateeeee parties.” you drag out your words so he understands you in definition.

he pulls out his phone, “well too bad, i already made a groupchat with everyone in it. you’re coming yn.”

your eyes tell jeno that your not entirely joking, you’ve never been a big partier, always opting to stay at home whenever the rest of the group invites you to go. but this time, jeno is going to make sure you have fun. this summer will be different.

“why don’t we have one tonight.” he exclaims. “ease you into it.”

your eyes go wide. “you CANNOT be serious. jeno i have work tomorrow and it’s my first beach shift this year. i need to be there for my training.”

“don’t worry, ill make sure you get there, just let loose a little. why not? it’s the start of summer.”

you’re skeptical. but he’s right; it’s the start of summer and there’s no better time to start than now. you can only wish that you’ll enjoy yourself as much as he says you will.

“okay fine. but you can’t leave me.”

“not at all, ill be by your side the entire time.”

you never believe him when he says that, always going off towards the end of the night with some girl wrapped around his arm. but this time, something in the sincerity of his words makes you trust what he’s saying. he’s giving you a chance. a chance to let go of yourself and everything that’s been bothering you for the past 11 months. a chance for you to set off this summer better than the last. a chance for you to find your own paradise.

after jeno rolls out a message to nearly every living organism within a 500 meter radius telling them of a bonfire that night, it dawns upon you that you shouldn’t feel so scared to hang out with your friends. you should feel like jeno, smile plastered on his face as he reads between the lines of his book titled ‘math for dummies.’ you’re not entirely sure how jeno got into college to study math in the first place, but how he got to keep his place after failing exam after exam is even more beyond you. but anyhow, he’s at peace with the events of tonight, no wavering wash of anxiety covers his expression quite like yours. jeno notices you sitting there, fingers wrapped around thumbs as you try not to think about the upcoming event. would you see yangyang? would he try and talk to you? what if he has another girlfriend already? i mean it’s been 11 months…

he says nothing of your lack of concentration. mind sucked into his book, probably going into shock at the moment the book starts adding letters.

you and jeno finish up your time at the beach bar as you walk back to your dorms. the boys dorm and the girls dorm at seperate sides of campus, you split with eachother early on. texting giselle, you see who’s home.

[yn] are you in

[yn] ???

[giselle 🫶] yes are u on ur way back?

[yn] yes pls let me in i forgot my key

[giselle🫶] give me a second

after waiting at the door for what seems like an hour, giselle finally lets you in, towel wrapped around her hair.

“how the hell do you forget your key??!” she mumbles between her toothbrush.

making your way to your room, you yell back across the hall in response. “i use a different bag everyday.” you shrug. you open your closet, scanning for an appropriate outfit for tonight when julie’s head pokes around the corner of the doorway.

“no way….” her eyes are wide and you motion for her to be quiet. jeno already made a big deal about you going so you can’t back out, giselle finding out that your going to your first party without yangyang will only cause for noise complains from your neighbours. “no WAY.” but julie continues, herself in shock. your shushing does nothing. “giselle get over here RIGHT NOW.”

you want to sink into the floor, perhaps end up at the dorm below where those people don’t know you. but giselle’s reaction is far different from anything you expect.

“you’re coming to jenos party????” she’s so quiet you feel the urge to throw something at her to get her to speak up. “yn you don’t have to go if it makes you uncomfortable. we know you don’t like par-“

“i want to go.”

no you don’t? you do a double take on your own words as they spill out of your mouth. but you were trying to prove something, not only to jeno and yangyang, but to yourself.

giselle, albeit it somewhat annoyingly, runs up to you with an arm full of different dresses, dresses you would never dream of wearing, all embroidered with flowers and different colours you didn’t even know should be in the same outfit together.

but when your eyes lands on one of the dresses, all of your criticism moves to the side. it was just perfect.

giselle can see you staring at it. “i’ve never worn it. my grandma made it for me.”

you look up at her. desperately trying to give it back. “i can’t wear it.”

“yes you can.” she smiles and you hesitantly take the dress back from her, holding it against your body in the mirror.

your nerves were now becoming excitement.

—

you, giselle and julie get there well after the likes of everyone else. struggling to walk on the sand, you rip your eyes from your feet to look up. jeno was right, you needed this. the sun setting along the line of the ocean, the shadows caused from the bonfire in the middle of the sea of bodies, everyone in their respective friend groups - you felt comfort.

seeing you before you see him, jeno rushes over to you, ditching whatever people he was with prior to watching you walk over. jeno had many friends, yes, but you were his only close one.

“you came!” you scoff in annoyance at the shock in his words, despite telling him you were going to come.

“obviously.”

he pats you on the back leading both you and giselle to the once calm and serene beach bar, now dizzy with lights as well as the reggae music. you presume julie has run off with jaehyun, your theory confirmed when you notice them by the shore, hand in hand.

“let’s get you a drink.” jeno laughs, calling over the bartender and asking for three vodka lemons. you thank him.

giselle rolls her eyes and nods her head in direction of whoever is coming onto the bar decking behind you. you turn around, fear of seeing his face again filling you.

somehow, the actaul face of who was walking in behind you, annoys you even more.

“yn??” your older brother asks.

great.

“jisung..” you smile. laugh even.

“i’m going to kill you.” his eyes find jenos in mock anger as he proceeds to jokingly ready up his fist for a punch. you laugh at their childishness.

when your laughter comes to a halt, you notice the voice of another next to you.

you look up to mark, brows furrowed. “how long have you been standing there??”

he scratches the nape of his neck, “like forever dude.” you huff and giselle laughs. “what brings you here anyways? you never come to these.”

giselle answers mark for you. “she’s bored.”

that’s one way to put it.

“well im glad you are, its nice to have a fresh face around here sometimes. jeno and jisung can be a bit much after a couple drinks.” he teases, jenos face twisting into an exaggerated expression of shock.

after getting your drinks, you all go to sit on the sand, julie and jaehyun beckoning you over. you take your seat between jeno and julie. sat like this, with all your friends, watching the fire wither away in the wind, you feel comfort. you watch as giselle fights with jisung over the remainder of her drink, threatening to push him into the fire if he takes even the slightest sip. you can’t help but smile. jeno notices your ease, nudging you on your shoulder as he talks to you, quietly.

“i’m glad you came.” he smiles. “you’re the only friend i need.”

evidently, jenos words knock a sense of confidence into you. causing you to spend the rest of the night swallowing shot after shot, even indulging in marks beer when he came over after hearing you had tried to run into the sea, wanting to see it for himself now that your brother had gone home.

“you know…w.. i havent seeeen yangyang allllll night. what a loser..hiding….fromme.” you stumble over your words, your lack of experience in drinking causing you to have little control over anything your saying.

jeno, still surprisingly by your side, shares a look of amusement with mark. “i’m going to take her home soon.” he tells him, “keep an eye on her whilst i go grab my stuff?”

mark nods and jeno walks away, causing you, in your drunken state, confusion. “nooo jenooo. don’t leave me with him.” mark tries to quieten you down to try avoid any weird looks but ultimately fails when you blab about wanting him to leave you alone.

“yn, he’ll be back soon okay. just don’t go anywhere, he’ll kill m-“

“who’ll kill you?”

you recognise that voice.

turning around, you squint in the direction the voice came from. tan skin, a mess of dusty pink hair. dusty pink hair? that’s oddly specifi-

oh.

“why do you care?” mark replies, face screwing up in confusion.

“who are you?” the voice asks again.

“you gonna keep asking questions or are you gonna tell me what you want man”

the man’s eyes drift to yours.

yangyang’s eyes drift to yours.

slowly, you try to inch backwards, your only wish for this very moment being to find jeno. “i’m gonna… i’m gonna go….” you whisper, mark looking at you, utterly oblivious to the situation.

“but-“ mark protests but he’s yet again cut off by yangyang.

“if she wants to go, let her”, unaware the he’s the problem and not mark. but you can’t explain that to mark now, you’re already making your way down the beach to find jeno, stumbling in your tracks.

you can hear mark asking around for where you’ve gone, but your mind isn’t clear enough to realise you should go back to him.

you admit defeat, sitting down by yourself. it’s comical how quickly the night shifted once you became aware of yangyangs presence, only hours ago were you basking in the company of your friends. now you sit alone.

—

the next morning, you find yourself on jenos floor.

jenos sitting on his bed, scrolling mindlessly through his phone until he hears you stir. “finally, you’re u- oh shit, that’s not pretty.”

it takes you a few moments to process his words, head feeling heavy and your eyes adjusting to the light of jenos room. he throws you a hoodie, nodding at you to put it on. your brows furrow in question. it’s not cold.

you look down at your dress, no, giselle’s dress, covered in a layer of bright vivid orange.

remnants of last night.

shit.

“no no no no..” you ramble, jumping to your feet to make your way to jenos bathroom, his roommate chenle, giving you a look of disgust as you bolt past him.

“you okay, yn?” jeno calls out, a mix of worry and amusement lacing his tone. this was not a time for amusement. “just change into the hoodie and i can walk you to your dorm in time for work.”

work?

your heart drops in your chest.

you were truly and utterly fucked.

the walk to your dorm resembled more to that of a sprint, jeno struggling to keep up with your pace.

“how the hell do you walk so fast.” he pants, “i literally cannot feel my legs.”

you feign sympathy at him before speeding up even more. you have to get to work this morning, you couldn’t lose the chance to uptake a lifeguard position at the beach. the pool has been anything but miserable.

after thanking jeno for his, in his terms, ‘chivalry’, you quickly rush to find your uniform. you pick up the red tankini, throwing on some shorts and a cap to keep yourself covered on your way to the beach. luckily, you find giselle asleep on her bed, throwing the dress in your laundry basket to wash when you get back. julie is nowhere to be seen, most likely having stayed round jaehyuns for the night.

brushing your teeth and drenching yourself in julie’s perfume as a desperate attempt to smell atleast a little less of puke, you bolt out the door.

it has been 10 minutes since training started.

when you get to the beach, it has been 18 minutes.

when you put your stuff in your locker and clock in, it has been 20 minutes.

the moment you get to the group in training, it has been 33.

you plead with the instructor - who’s name was johnny according to his badge reading ‘ncu senior. johnny suh’ - in hopes that he’ll let you stay.

“nope. no can do.” he doesn’t even look at you, too busy watching the 9 other lifeguards in training, swimming out to various buoys out in the water.

“but please i can stay behind after so i can-“

“i said no. it’s not in my paycheck to accommodate extra time for those who are late. if you miss the beach briefing, then you’re at the pool. it’s the same every year.” he shrugs, pulling his cap up to push his hair back before placing it back on his head. “not my problem.”

you couldn’t believe it, you were going to kill lee jeno if it was the last thing you do. you can’t even remember last night, and now its still haunting you into the next day. you cannot imagine it getting any worse.

that was until you hear a scream from one of the lifeguards in the distance.

you look over to johnny, expecting him to leap from his high-chair on the sand and run into the water, but he’s gone, chatting up some woman on the other side of the sunbeds.

a child next to you begins talking to you. no, yelling at you.

“hey! you’re a lifeguard too! help, my sisters hurt!”

the other lifeguards are too far to hear the scream. you curse johnny for not making them go by groups, and you curse yourself for not wearing a tshirt over your bright red tankini top, spelling out the words ‘lifeguard’ in bold white capitals.

after assessing the situation, you figure that you have no choice but to run into the water, swimming after the waving arm of one of the trainee lifeguards about 20 meters from the shore, a red lifeguard float from johnnys chair in your hand. unaware of if she was just out of her depth or in pain, you push the float under her arms, dragging her with you back to the sand.

she’s limping, so you attempt to hold her weight with the side of your body as you pull her from the final stretch of water and onto the sand. as you place her to sit down, she thanks you and you offer her a fresh towel from johnnys bench, asking her if she’s okay. johnny eventually comes running over at the sight of your situation.

“it’s a sprained ankle.” you tell him, “must have got her foot caught on a rock under the water.”

he nods before calling over two other trainees to take her to the first aid hut, the girls’ brother helplessly following behind her in tears.

johnny stands with you, arms crossed as he finally looks at you. “i suppose we’re a lifeguard short now.”

you try to hold back your smile, realising what this means.

“you’ll need to do the training so i’ll make one of the stronger swimmers of the lifeguard trainees today give you your induction. think yourself lucky.” and with that, he walks off. you could cry at the amount of luck you were feeling in this moment; finally something today had gone right. “well don’t just stand there, come with me.”

you quickly run after him. “right, sorry.”

johnny laughs to himself in response, but he’s quick to try and hide it. you make a note to yourself that you must somehow be on the seniors good side.

when you reach the steps to the closest lifeguard tower, johnny brings you to the desk where he hands you a form.

“sign here and here, i’ll go grab him. he should be up in 10.”

he?

all sorts of names rush through your head. you couldn’t exactly see the faces of which lifeguards were training as they were out in the water, but you weren’t friends with any of the male lifeguards from the pool.

you sit in johnnys chair, silently observing the view out onto the beach, spreading for miles and miles, white sand meets turquoise water, occupying a plethora of - mainly ncu students - but some families too. the college spreads itself on the other side, almost parallel to the stretch of the beach. you wouldn’t wish you were anywhere else.

a knock at the tower door wakes you from your daydream.

you stand up. “come in.”

expecting someone familiar to walk through the door, you’re surprised to find yourself face to face with a man you have never seen before in your entire year at the job.

although you didn’t get into beach guarding last year, everyone had to guard a pool in the winter, switching posts multiple times a day and meaning you’d met everyone in the job. but this man was entirely unknown to you. and if you were being perfectly honest, he did not have a face that you would forget easily. you had to admit, his bleached hair made you a little awestricken. you’d never seen someone suit such a bold style before.

anyhow, you don’t understand how he’s already qualified for the specialised training, general training is multiple weeks and today is the first day of the semester.

he notices your confusion, but says nothing to ease your mind.

“im jaemin. hi.” he walks past you.

past you.

it’s as if you weren’t even there. he sits down, putting his feet up on the desk.

“um… yn.” you reply with a nod. “so uh, you’re training me?”

“i think so, that johnny guy didn’t say much, said something about me being able to surf means i can swim.”

a surfer? great. so not only do you have the new guy doing your induction, but even he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

after asking him what’s first on the list that johnny handed him with the form, he takes you out onto the beach with a stopwatch and johnnys clipboard, reading off the first tick box.

“the first one is..” he says whilst scanning his eyes across the page in attempts to find the first requirement. “ah right, a swim to the 25 meter buoy in 50 seconds.”

you look at him in shock, he’s starting with the short distance one?

“are you messing with me.” you ask, “i’m doing the 25 meter first?”

“yup.” he laughs, “unless… you don’t want to be a lifeguard anymore.”

unbelievable. actually fucking unbelievable; not only is this newbie doing your induction, but now he’s threatening you. you were wrong, your day could and definitely did get worse.

throwing a middle finger in his direction up on the lifeguard chair, which earns you a laugh from him in response, you run into the water, diving once it reaches your thighs. you get flashbacks of the save you just did, imagining that the buoy infront of you is actually a person yelling for your help (morbid, but it works.) your arms ache, your legs ache, your body aches but you keep going, lapping around the buoy until you find your way back onto the shore.

you’re panting as you make your way back to jaemin, who climbs down the chair, pencil in his mouth as he tries not to fall.

he walks over to you. “43 seconds. not bad.”

not bad????

you wish you could punch him. one day you will.

“whatever, barbie.” you sneer back passively, his face contorting into an expression of shock, mouth hung wide open. but you can tell he’s trying not to let out a laugh.

you go through each tick box, continuing with the 200 meter swim and then the 200 meter beach run which, indoubtedly, makes you feel a little stupid. but you pass all the tests with ease, much to jaemins surprise.

if it wasn’t for the fact that he was new and annoyingly arrogant, you would probably have been friends with him, he seems funny enough.

as jaemin was ticking off the final box, johnny returns.

“how’d she do?” he turns to jaemin, who’s smug face tells you everything you need to know. he’s about to lie.

“i passed.” you butt in; you were on johnnys good side already, a joke about failing would have immediately ruined that. jaemin squints in your direction and you can only smile back in arrogance.

johnny pats you on the back, “good job. you guys are both done for the day, check your emails in the next few hours for your schedule.” he turns to walk away before stopping himself and turning back around, “and, thanks jaemin. i owe you one. ” he turns for real this time, back slowly shrinking as he walks up towards ncu.

“well, i better be off then.” jaemin quickly remarks, giving you little to no time to tell him a quick “bye” before he, too, is walking back to campus.

you wonder to yourself if you’ll ever see him again, and if, for some reason, you would even mind his company.

but you brush off that thought as quickly as it came.

—

when you get back to the dorm. giselle is waiting.

“hey yn.” she smiles.

suspicious, she never says hey when you get in.

oh.

the dress.

“look, giselle, im so sorry.. i woke up at jenos and by the time i got back it was already 10am and then i-“

“i bought you some more!” she squeals. now, you are really confused.

your brow flips in confusion, “but i ruined your dress..”

“exactly! i got some more for you.”

you actually couldn’t believe your ears, unable to think of what to say.

until you realise exactly why she’s not mad.

because its an excuse for her to buy you dresses. dresses to go to parties wearing; parties that you will NOT be partaking in.

“oh i don’t think so.” you shake your head, giselle running up to you excitedly. “i’ve barely even recovered from last night, and today wasn't exactly relaxing either.”

“oh come on yn, it’s not gonna a big one like last night, we’re just going round jaehyuns frat for a few hours. you don’t have to drink!”

it sounds appealing, it really does. despite the fact that you can’t remember much about last night, you do remember enjoying yourself. but the idea of spending hours if not the entire rest of the night socialising after swimming and running down a beach all day in the sun, removed any sort of energy you had remaining.

“please yn, just one night.” she’s nearly sobbing at this point.

after multiple attempts at begging you to go throughout the evening, giselle and julie finally convince you to come. if anything just to reduce their insistent pressure on you to change your mind. it got so bad to the point where, as you were trying to make your dinner, giselle kept turning the oven off whenever you weren’t looking. you nearly slapped her out of irritation.

giselle gives you one of the dresses to wear, and the three of you make your way to the frat that jaehyun was in.

you aren’t familiar with many of jaehyuns friends, let alone any of them in his frat, so you were relying on both the girls, and jeno, being jaehyuns cousin, to keep you company.

as you arrive, you’re shocked to discover how loud the music blares from the outside, booming along the sand which surrounds the path that stretches to the front of the house.

jeno greets you at the door. nodding at both giselle and julie in acknowledgment, his face yet again contorts into shock when he notices you with them.

“why didn’t you tell me you were coming!” he yells over the music, leaning into you so you can hear him.

you follow him deeper into the crowd of people. ‘it’s not a big one like last night’ my ass. if anything, there was more people.

“i didn’t even know i was coming myself until an hour ago.” you reply, jeno squeezing your arm in response to let you know you’re safe.

“well you can rest assured that yangyang isn't here tonight. he won’t try and confront you again.”

what?

oh.

you remember now.

you remember everything: trying to run into the ocean, yangyang coming up to you with a clueless mark by your side, walking off alone.. jeno must have found you after that.

“oh shit, i totally forgot that even happened.” you laugh, jenos face responding with a look of concern.

“really? you were that drunk?”

“i guess so.” you laugh again, even though deep down, you’re panicking. “did you fill mark in? i feel bad he didn’t know who yangyang was and i sort of just ran away.”

jeno, for some reason, finds this hilarious, hanging his head back as he tries not to spill his drink from laughing too much. “yes,” he slows his laughter but it’s still continuing as he talks. “he got so worried thinking that you hated him.”

“oh my god…” you’re embarrassed to say the least, but atleast jeno had explained to him who yangyang was.

you look around for giselle, wondering where she’d ran off too before jeno snaps you out of it. “i think she went off with chenle.” chenle? you’re not one to judge when it comes to your bestfriends taste in men, but you’ve heard giselle talk about how much she hates that man, so you can only say you’re surprised. but you brush it off.

leaving yours and jenos own little bubble, you continue to look around the room, the lack of familiar faces causing you to feel a little uneasy. you see julie and jaehyun in the corner, like usual, but you don’t want to interfere with whatever they seem to be doing. jeno can tell you feel uncomfortable, taking your arm and leading you to another area of the house, still packed with people.

“i want you to meet someone.” he says. you can tell he’s been thinking about introducing you to this mysterious someone ever since you started talking, his mind seemingly a little less focused than usual.

but when you realise who the someone is that he is referring to, you start to wish that you had just listened to your gut and stayed at home.

“this is yn.” jeno starts, pointing at you, unmoving in your stance.

“hi.” the someone replies

his hand goes out to shake yours.

“i’m jaemin.”

—

you want to sink into the floor and never come back to reality.

your mind whirls with confusion and horror as you look at the person infront of you, no longer in his white tank and red shorts, hair no longer a blond mess of sand and sea salt, his hand extended towards you and a knowing smirk cascading across his lips.

he was having so much fun.

“ouch,” he sucks in a breath, feigning pain, “haven’t even known you 30 seconds and already been rejected.” he says, the irony in his words making you want to run out of the party and go back home. he’s pretending not to know you.

you turn to jeno, hoping he would see your distaste in his friend, but he’s laughing.

the one person you would hope to be of comfort to you. and he’s laughing.

you give in, shaking his hand and faking a smile which you know he picks up on. “nice to meet you.” you say. words feeling sour and dry in your mouth.

his grin widens.

jeno pats his hand on both your backs. “jaemin’s just moved here from LA, i went to school with him before he left.”

so that’s the mysterious best friend from jenos childhood, the bestfriend who jeno constantly speaks about, wishing he could meet him again. and here he is, the very same man who has taunted your mind since you left the beach earlier today.

“LA?” you give him a look of shock, this time a real one. no wonder you hadn’t seen his face before, he was in an entirely different country. “i’m guessing you got your lifeguard qualification over there then.” you ask out of both genuine curiosity and stupidity; revealing to jeno that you’d met him at the lifeguard training earlier today.

jeno looks surprised, turning to jaemin. “you didn’t tell me you were applying to that.”

jaemin shrugs. “might as well, need the money.”

“yeah especially after you spent it all on-“ jenos words are interrupted, jaemin holding a hand over his mouth to shut him up and leading them both into a fit of laughter.

you stay stood there, unsure of what to do but to look at your feet. you would never believe you could feel left out in jeno’s presence, he always made sure you were okay.

but he isn’t right now.

jeno and jaemin are still laughing about something you don’t understand and you consider turning around and trying to find julie. but you figure you would rather third wheel two old bestfriends than a overly-affectionate couple, so you stay.

“…and then she told me she faked the entire thing!” jaemin says, jeno laughing and slapping the former on the shoulder repeatedly as they both share memories and jokes that you don’t feel you should be part of.

you feel awkward.

“i’m gonna go.” you say, too quiet for either of them to understand but loud enough for them to hear you.

“what?” it’s jeno that leans down to hear what you have to say, but jaemin speaks up before you can repeat yourself.

“she wants to leave.” he says to jeno.

he didn’t hear what you had said, but considering he’s been watching you in his peripheral for the past 5 minutes, he figures from your awkwardness you wouldn’t want to stay much longer.

jeno raises an eyebrow at jaemins words. “but why?” he asks you. you don’t want to have to explain to him that you feel left out, so you tell him you’re not feeling too well.

walking you to the door, jaemin behind you, jeno holds your shoulders before fixing a stray hair at the top of your head. “are you sure you’re okay to walk home by yourself?”

you nod but he doesn’t believe you, you’ve never liked walking in the dark.

“yo jeno.” jaehyun calls to him from the living room, “someone called big papi ‘pink heart emoji, winking emoji’ is calling you!”

jeno rolls his eyes before yelling, “DON’T ANSWER THAT ITS HAECHAN.” panicking, he asks jaemin to make sure you get home safely before running off in jaehyuns direction.

you begin walking through the door and out to the porch, there is no way in hell you were about to let jaemin walk you home. you know jeno has had a few drinks, but he must really trust jaemin if he can run off and leave you with him.

but that doesn’t mean you have to.

after walking for around 30 seconds, you feel a presence behind you. turning, you see jaemin trailing behind you, falling beside you once you slow down to face him.

“what?” he asks, “jeno asked me to, i can’t just leave you.”

you roll your eyes. “i’m fine to walk by myself, just have a headache, that’s all.”

“so it has nothing to do with you standing in that party desperate to leave the moment you saw me.”

his words render you speechless. not because anything he had said shocked you, but because he’s completely and utterly right.

he continues. “you and jeno seem close.”

“he’s my bestfriend.” you say, and he looks at you from the corner of his eye.

“have you guys ever…” he’s smirking and it takes you a few moments to realise what he’s implying.

“no! god, no, absolutely not!” you retort, and he laughs.

“i met with him the day after i came back, would not shut up about you. would never have guessed the rude girl i had to induct at the beach was the girl he spoke so sweetly about.”

you were taken aback, not only did he just straight up insult you, but him bringing up jeno made a part of your chest sting. jeno had met with him days ago and hadn’t told you about him until today?

jeno never hid anything from you, and it makes you wonder why he had held off telling you about jaemin.

jaemin isn’t alarmed by your silence, only continuing to talk to you. but the next question he asks you pulls you from your thoughts.

“you don’t like me, do you?”

you look up at him, unsure of what to say, attempting not to fall over your feet as you try to match his walking pace.

“ive only just met you.” you respond.

“and yet you don’t like me. i’m not an idiot, yn, i see the way you look at everyone else compared to the way you look at me.”

you feel caught. in all honesty, you haven’t thought about it. you haven’t known jaemin long enough to form an opinion on him. but after tonight, you fear that he may be right.

you hate the fact that jaemin can read you so well. ever since you arrived at the party, he’s been able to pick up every little part of you that seems even the tiniest bit out of place and you hate it. you’ve never felt this seen.

“i don’t hate you.” you tell jaemin and he sighs. he smiles in annoyance, tongue poking the inside of his cheek in attempt to stop himself from saying something he’d regret.

“but you don’t like me.” he instead replies.

“i don’t know you.”

you’re starting to get a little angry, going round and round in circles. but his reaction to your words differ from yours.

“so get to know me then.”

this time, you stop walking.

when he notices that you’ve stopped, he asks you again. “get to know me.”

your eyes, originally dropped to the floor, look up to his and you sigh. “i don’t think im going to have a choice.”

his head cocks to the side and you remind him of jeno and his crippling party addiction, jaemin laughs.

as you begin to walk again, you wonder why you have these feelings of hate towards a man you met today but nothing rational in your mind confirms it.

when you get to the outside of your dorm building, you turn to jaemin. “thank you for walking me back.”

“get some sleep.” he nods to you as you give him a small smile, his hands in his pockets. “and yn,” you turn quickly to face him, “for the record, i don’t like you either.” he pauses. “goodnight.”

what a way to end your night.

(a/n: tysm for reading !! i’ve had so much fun writing this and i appreciate every single one of you who interact with and enjoy the stuff i write as much as i enjoy writing it ♡)

@therealbobbyshloby @nanaxwi @flwrs4marklee @injunnie-lemon @gyub1nn13 @p-d1ddy @cyjzzl (a few have been removed if tags don’t work)

#nct #nct dream #nct fanfic #nct college au #jaemin nct #jaemin x reader #nct jaemin #jaemin fanfic #na jaemin #jaemin #nct x reader #jeno nct #lee jeno #jeno #nct jeno #nct imagines #nct u #nct fluff

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hayleythesugarbowl · 1 year ago

Note

Hey I got a request for joey from friends

So basically you and joey are together and you just had your first child together and joey was Comfort you while you in labour and helping you and when you baby girl came you was scared to hold her and do anything with her so joey help you and you was shocked to see joey like this hope that makes sense

The One With the Baby Girl || Joey Tribbiani x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • f•r•i•e•n•d•s masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

summary: oneshot where joey helps you through the birth of your daughter

word count: 1k

warnings: childbirth (also quick disclaimer! i have never experienced/been present during a birth so please forgive me if this isn’t accurate)

a/n: ok i actually love this idea sm so thank you for requesting it! i hope you enjoy this

quick edit!! i was going back looking through my older work (1/10 do not recommend btw 🤭 the cringe is real) and i am so sorry i didn’t explain (v/o/y/n) = variation of your name. and y’all are smart so im sure you figured it out but still just thought I’d clarify because im dumb. have a great day loves xx💋💌🍒

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This. Was. Hell.

None of the childbirth classes you had taken could have prepared you for this. You had known labor was not going to be a piece of cake, that much you could have expected.

But you hadn’t expected it to be this…well, laboring. You gripped the sides of the hospital bed as you desperately tried to push harder than you already were.

“Hey, you’re ok, just breathe,” you heard Joey’s voice from the side of your bed and you felt him as he moved behind you and began massaging your shoulders.

“I can’t do this,” you said between breaths, feeling a wave of panic. What if you couldn’t do this?

“Yes you can (Y/n), I know you can. Can you breathe for me? In, out. There you go. Now again. In, out. You’re doing great.”

And it worked. You felt significant calmer as you reached up a hand to squeeze Joey’s and he squeezed back.

Joey had been a huge help to you throughout the whole process. While you had been in the early stages of labor, he had kept you company and helped to pass the time by talking about how you were going to decorate your baby’s room and if he thought the baby was going to be a boy or a girl and even by attempting to play a very dull game of ‘I spy’ which ultimately ended when everything was either white or gray.

Now he fluffed the pillow behind you and brushed the hair from your face as you continued to push. You hoped it wouldn’t be long now, but you just had to get through this.

“Can I get you any water?” Joey asked you and when you nodded he brought over the glass from the bedside table and brought it gently to your lips, allowing you to take a sip.

You were surprised at how attentive and helpful Joey was being. You hadn’t known he would be so good in these kind of situations.

Suddenly you cried out in pain as you were brought out of your thoughts by a particularly painful contraction. Joey rushed over to stand next to you and you grabbed his hand tightly.

“Sorry,” you gasped, letting go of his hand.

“It’s ok sweetie,” he said, waving it off, “I didn’t need those bones anyways.”

You breathed out a laugh and Joey smiled at you, taking your hand again.

You let out another cry of pain.

“Just let me know what I can do, ok?” Joey said, rubbing your back.

“Be here,” you managed.

“I wouldn’t dream of leaving,” he said, “I’m going to be right here by your side the whole time.”

With Joey’s help and a lot of painful hours on your part, eventually you gave a final push and the next thing you knew the doctor was holding your baby—your daughter (Joey owed you 5 bucks)—in his hands.

You laid back against the bed and Joey knelt beside you.

“You did it (Y/n), I’m so proud of you,” he said.

You watched as the doctor came over to you and reached out his arms with the baby—your baby—and all of a sudden you weren’t sure you were ready. You had just been through all this and now you weren’t sure you were ready to take this next step. What if you dropped her or she cried more than she already was or—

You didn’t know why you were so scared. You’d taken all of the classes and read all of the books and you were ready for this. Ready to be a mother. But you couldn’t make your arms reach out to grab your child. It was like you were petrified.

“Joey I can’t—”

Joey jumped up from beside your bed knowingly and gently took the baby from the doctor’s arms, expertly placing one hand behind her head and neck and the other under her bottom.

“Shh, you’re gonna be fine,” Joey soothed the baby as her cries began to cease.

He walked over towards you and knelt down beside your bed again.

“Are you ready?” He whispered. “Because you don’t have to do this before you’re ready?”

You closed your eyes and nodded, “I’m ready.”

Joey placed the baby in your arms, guiding your hands and arms to the right positions.

“There you go,” he said, “See, you’re alright.”

You began to relax as you held your daughter for the first time with Joey right beside you, and you took a moment to appreciate how amazing this all was. You had done this—you and Joey had done this.

You looked down at the baby in your arms. Your hands had begun to stop shaking and you shifted to more comfortably hold her.

“She’s beautiful,” Joey said, his voice cracking just a little, “Just like her mother.”

“I’ll give you two a moment,” the doctor said, exiting the room. The door shut and then it was just you and Joey and your new baby girl.

Joey sat on the edge of the bed next to you and you scooted over to make room for him. He gently kissed your damp forehead and brushed the hair away from your face.

“Sorry Joe, I’m probably sweaty and disgusting,” you said.

He looked you in the eyes and grew serious, “I have never seen you look more perfect.”

He looked down at his daughter in your arms. “And you, you are the most perfect baby girl in the world.”

“What are we going to name her?” You asked him, overcome with emotion. You couldn’t believe how perfect he was. How perfect all of this was, you thought as you looked down at the baby now falling asleep in your arms.

“(V/o/y/n). I think we should name her (V/o/y/n),” Joey said, taking his eyes from his daughter to your face.

“I love it,” you said, leaning your head against his shoulder. You paused a minute taking everything in. “We’re parents, Joey. It still doesn’t seem real.”

“I can’t wait,” he said, smiling as he putting his arm around your shoulder, rubbing it gently, “We’re going to be awesome parents.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at Joey’s enthusiasm, even as you felt your eyes begin to get heavy with tiredness.

“And whatever comes, we’ll get through it,” Joey said. “You and me. Together.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope this is what you wanted love have a great day!!

#joey tribbiani x reader #joey tribbiani #friends #f•r•i•e•n•d•s #friends imagines #fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #x reader

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poppitron360 · 4 months ago

Text

Rome wasn’t built in a day.

But this fanfic was written in one! This is a continuation of this post that I made (suggest you read it first for context). Basically Jason and Leo had a baby through divine intervention and Piper is the surrogate. I literally started adding to it this time yesterday and now it’s over 3,000 words long. Whoops!

Credits to @xixovart for helping me with the Spanish, I also used google translate for some, so please forgive any mistakes that I made (there are probably loads).

Tagging also: @fictionalmenaremytype @lavenderfairiez @sleepyycapybara @puzzled-pegasus @im-always-lost-in-a-book @keefessketchbook @imnoturfriend-im-a-swiftie13 @hollow8007 @euryvices @ottpopfic @child-of-helios @ginnyluna

Summary: Lost Trio Baby is born, and it doesn’t go well.

Disclaimer: I get everything I know about childbirth from watching episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I have no idea if this is accurate or not.

CW: The Miracle Of Birth™, Potential Major Character Death (Or maybe not! No spoilers!!)

Word Count: Approx. 3,870

The Birth

(…Part 1?)

"FASTERRRR!!!!!!" Piper screamed, straining against the seatbelt in the back of the car.

"I'm already pushing the speed limit!" Leo screamed back, his voice just as panicked as Piper's.

"Stay calm, everyone!!" Jason shouted.

"AAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Piper roared. Jason and Leo joined in the yelling as they barrelled down the highway.

Then Piper caught fire.

"Piper!" Leo yelped. He began to turn to check on her.

"WATCH THE ROAD!" Jason yelled, pushing Leo towards the steering wheel.

"But-"

"I'll check on her," Jason assured him. He unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned into the back. Piper's whole body was aflame- luckily Leo had fireproofed the leather seats of the car- she was writhing in agony, but she seemed unharmed by the fire.

"Piper, just breathe, okay? We're gonna get through this."

"Is she okay?" Leo yelled.

"She's fine!" Jason called back.

"No I'm not!" Piper screamed, "I've got an angry demigod baby trying to destroy my uterus!"

Jason slipped on a dragon-hide glove and reached out, gripping Piper's flaming hand. He felt a jolt of electricity shoot from Piper's grasp. “PUTAIN ÇA FAIT MAL!!” Piper shouted in French.

"WE'RE ALMOST THERE!" Leo shouted. The tires screached down the road. Jason let go of Piper's hand and sat back down, throwing his seatbelt on before the car skidded to a halt on the country path. Leo threw open the driver-side door and walked over to Piper. Jason did the same, and together they unbuckled her from the back and heaved her out. She wrapped her still-flaming arm around Leo's body- which was also starting to smoke. The three of them stumbled up half-blood hill, where Will Solace waited for them, alongside Kayla, Austin, Nico, and Chiron. They rushed them into the infirmary.

Jason watched through the window of the delivery room. The fire was getting dangerous now, so only Piper, Leo, and Will were allowed to be present. Will was wearing a full-body dragon hide suit and a welder’s mask to protect him from the flames. Leo was half of the problem. Every time Piper yelped and he became more agitated, fire crackled and spit around him. The flames were up to the ceiling now. Jason couldn't see what was happening exactly through the inferno. He paced outside the door.

“I should be in there,” He muttered, “I should be with them.”

Nico put a hand on his shoulder, “It’s okay, Jason. Will’s got this, he’s delivered babies before.”

“No but-“ He gestured towards the blaze in the delivery room. He continued pacing, running his hands through his hair, “What if Piper doesn’t make it? What if the baby gets hurt? What if-“

“Look, just stay calm, Jason,” Kayla soothed.

“I’m not helping anyone worrying out here! I should be in there-“

“Jason…” Chiron chided.

“It’s not safe,” Nico urged, “Piper has some sort of magic protecting her and the baby. Leo’s… Leo. Will has these fireproof potions from Hecate cabin, but still, he shouldn’t be in there, he has to-“

Suddenly, Leo rushed out the door, still aflame, breathless and panicky. The fire outside the window was swirling wildly, and Jason could sense strong winds circling around Piper.

"A storm..." He gasped, "Piper..."

"Is she okay?" Jason asked.

“I… I hope so.”

"Is Will okay?" Nico asked.

Leo looked back at the door.

"It's getting too dangerous in there," Chiron said. He threw open the door and entered the burning room.

Leo put his back against the wall and sank to the floor. Jason sat down next to him.

"It's not looking good, Jason."

"What? Is she-"

“Sh-She might not make it,” Leo said, shakily, “There’s a chance… but that magic around her isn’t strong enough. It’s meant to protect the baby, not her.”

Jason rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes in despair. He heard the inferno whirling inside the room behind them.

Nico walked over and punched him in the arm, "If Will gets hurt in there, Valdez, I'm gonna..." He trailed off when he saw Leo crying.

"It's my fault..." Leo whimpered, "It's because of me..."

"No, cariño, no..." Jason soothed.

"It's my power, Jason. It's my power that's killing her."

“That’s not true, Leo. It’s mine as much as yours, for one thing. Also, it’s not your fault. You didn’t choose-“

"This is what I did to my mom," Leo continued, "She must’ve went through all this giving birth to me. And she was mortal. And she was on her own- she couldn’t tell anyone… oh, gods, what did I put her through? What am I putting Piper through? And what about this baby? Am I cursing them to have the same miserable life as I did?”

“Leo…”

“I don’t what this kid to turn out like me, Jason. If they’re anything like me we’ll be going to their funeral sixteen years from now. But with this fire… I don’t want Piper to suffer the same fate my mom did. If something’s wrong with the birth-“

“She’ll be fine,” Kayla cut in. She walked over and sat by Leo, “Chiron will help. Will knows what he’s doing. We’ve got ambrosia and nectar on stand-by. And Piper’s strong. She’ll get through this.”

Jason wrapped his arms around him, "Happiest day of our lives, remember? Focus on the positives. Let’s review baby names.”

“No dead people,” Leo recited, “At least no-one who died young. Names have power.”

“That’s right,” Jason agreed, “If it's a girl..."

"Isabella. Or Daniella.”

"And if it's a boy?"

"Either Antonio, Benjamin, or Leo Jr-"

"I said no to that one."

"I think we should keep our options open."

Jason laughed, and Leo’s mood brightened a little. Jason could tell he was still terrified- they all were- but their hope kept them going.

“How about Jason Jr?” Jason suggested.

“I don’t know… I just think “Leonidas Valdez the Second” sounds badass,” Leo said.

“That’s if it’s a boy, though.”

“Leonidas could be a girl’s name,” Kayla pointed out.

“Gender is relative,” Austin added, joining Kayla on the floor next to them.

“And what will the baby call us?” Jason asked.

“You’re Dada, I’m Papa,” Leo recalled.

The fire in the room behind them increased in rage. Nico sat to the side of Jason, and closed his eyes in silent prayer. The four of them sat in silence, listening to the burning room behind them.

Then, suddenly, the door to the infirmary swung open, and Percy, Annabeth, Frank and Hazel rushed in.

“Is the baby born yet? Did we miss it?” Hazel asked, excitedly.

Leo looked down and stifled a sob.

Percy saw the blaze outside the window and rushed to take a closer look.

“What’s going on?” Annabeth asked, “Is Piper-“

“She’s got magic protecting her and the baby,” Austin explained, “But the exhaustion might be too much for her to take. And Will’s still in there- he’s got protection, but he’s-“

Without a word, Leo stood up, walked over to the other end of the room, and burst into flames.

“Chiron’s helping, though,” Jason continued, “And he’s immortal.”

“I’m going in,” Percy said, “I’m a little fireproof.”

“And I’m a big fireproof, and I couldn’t even go in there, with the storm,” Leo retorted, “That’s not a little fire. Percy-“

“Do you think a huge water-pipe bursting above their heads would hurt the baby?”

“Let’s not risk it,” Jason warned.

Hazel had walked over to Leo and was trying to soothe him. Frank was standing uncomfortably in the middle of the room, looking back and forth between the fire that was Piper, and the fire that was Leo.

“Wait- what’s happening?” Frank asked.

“Leo and Jason’s powers,” Kayla explained, “The baby has both of them. It’s currently trying to burn its way into the world at 500 degrees Fahrenheit, complete with atmospheric thunderclouds. It’s a spectacle fit for the likes of my father.”

“So does that mean-“

Suddenly, the fire inside the room died. The windows were blackened with soot, so they couldn’t see through. Everything was quiet. They were all still. Leo stood up and rushed into the room before Jason could stop him. Jason followed.

Will, covered head to toe in fireproof gear, stood, looking very shaken. He was holding something sticky with blood and covered in soot. It was wailing at the top of its lungs. A shrill, high-pitched sound. Piper was unconscious on the bed, but breathing.

“Let her get some rest,” Will said, nodding towards Piper, “She’s exhausted.”

“Is she gonna be okay?” Leo asked.

“I th-think she’ll be fine.”

Chiron carefully took the child from Will’s arms. “You need rest too, young man,” He ordered, “I will get the baby cleaned up.”

Will nodded, sleepily. He walked over to the door, but before he left, he turned to Jason and Leo. “It’s a girl, by the way,” he told them.

Jason walked over to Leo, and gave him a massive hug.

“Holy Hephaestus, I just had a baby,” Leo muttered.

“We just had a baby,” Jason agreed.

“We are parents to an actual human child…”

A few moments later, Chiron trotted back to them, and handed them a freshly de-sootified newborn baby.

“I give you three some time to get aquatinted,” he whispered, then he left.

Leo sank into a chair, the child cradled in his arms. The world was so quiet.

“A girl,” Leo whispered, “Mi bebita.”

Jason pulled up another chair next to the bed where Piper was asleep.

"Hi!" Leo cooed, "Hello! Aw, you caused quite a blaze there, didn't you? You take after Tu Papá."

The man who had been so tense merely seconds before softened so much when he held the child.

“Hola, mi estrella,” Jason said to her.

Leo looked up at him and smiled. The most joyous smile Jason had ever seen. “Mi vida, mi alma, mi hermoso fuego,” He whispered.

He rocked her in silence for a few seconds.

“She looks like my mom,” Leo said, “Don’t you think?”

“I-I never met her,” Jason reminded him.

“She looks like Mom.” Leo decided, “Her Abuela. But she’s got your eyes.”

Jason looked at the child. She did have piercing, ice-blue eyes, just like his own.

Leo passed the baby over to him. She was warm to the touch, cooling down from the oven. He stared at the tiny thing. Her beautiful face, her slightly pointed nose, her winning smile, her dark skin, all like Leo’s. But those eyes were Jason’s. He held her in his arms, his daughter. She was his, and she was Leo’s. She was made from their love and their partnership. He looked at Piper, his best friend, snoring quietly in her bed. He looked at Leo. The three of them had made this, together. They would always be together.

The four of them stayed there, in that ash-covered room, peacefully. And for once in their lives, everything was as it should be.

[…]

They stepped out, Piper with the baby, Jason and Leo either side of her, onto the porch of the big house, where a sea of campers and friends were waiting.

“Guys,” Leo announced, “Meet Isabella!”

The campers around them gasped.

Suddenly, Chiron’s knees buckled into a bow. The others began to kneel too.

“All hail Isabella Valdez,” He boomed, “Legacy of Jupiter, king of the Cosmos, Lord of the Sky, Bringer of Lightning, Ruler of the Gods. Legacy of Hephaestus, Bringer of Fire, God of Creation, Master of the Forge, King of Volcanoes. Hail Isabella Valdez, daughter of Jason and Leo Valdez.”

As they watched, two floating symbols appeared over the newborn’s head. A still image of glowing gold eagle mid-flight- and a glowing red, fiery hammer. Jason smiled, recalling the same hammer floating over Leo’s head all those years ago, and then just about remembering the eagle above his own head, when he was barely a toddler. The symbols hovered next to each other for a few seconds, then vanished.

Percy, Annabeth, Frank, and Hazel approached.

“So you’re okay?” Annabeth asked.

“Yeah…” Piper said, “They wheeled me into recovery, gave me ambrosia and nectar. Still a little sore from being on fire and summoning storms. Leo, how do you do it?”

Leo grinned, “I’m a special boy.”

Suddenly Jason was attacked by a hug. He turned.

“Thalia!” He cried, and hugged her again. Then, she pushed him off, and turned to the child in Leo’s arms.

“Is that my niece?” She demanded.

“Yup,” Leo said, holding Isabella up. Thalia came in close, and the baby reached up and grabbed her pinky finger with her whole fist. Jason watched his sister melt with pure joy.

“She’s got her auntie’s strength, I see,” Thalia said. Jason could tell she was fighting back happy tears.

Chiron trotted over. He nodded to Jason, Leo with the baby, and Piper.

“I’d like to speak to the three of you. Privately.”

The others nodded and left.

Chiron led them into the Big House, and gestured for them to sit down on the couch facing the fireplace. Piper took the armchair and began to breastfeed the baby. Leo and Jason respectfully turned away from her. The Centaur’s back legs compacted into his wheelchair, and he wheeled it towards the furniture, so they were sitting in a semicircle around the hearth.

“Wh-what is it, Chiron?” Jason asked.

The Centaur’s expression turned dark.

“This child…” Chiron said to the three of them, “She has power never before seen in this century… storm and fire…”

“What are you saying?” Piper asked, looking up from her task, “Is she-“

“We can’t know anything yet,” Chiron said, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to worry you, but-“

“Is she…” Leo began. The fire began to crackle more. Jason squeezed his husband’s hand, “Is she dangerous?”

“We… we can’t be certain of anything right now,” Chiron said, “But, considering how rare it is to inherit the godly powers of both parents- particularly of powerful demigods such as yourselves- this clouds the future somewhat.”

“What do you mean?” Jason asked.

“Well, usually the most powerful demigods only appear when something big is about to happen,” He looked directly at Leo when he said this, which caused the fire to spit violently, a spark narrowly missing the carpet and fizzling out on the stone hearth, “And I haven’t seen a legacy this powerful since… well, not for a long time.”

“Something big, you say? Something… bad?” Piper asked, tentatively.

“Well, knowing our luck, then… it’s quite probable,” Chiron said, “Her power might be linked to the fact that she was birthed by a third very powerful demigod. It could just be that, or-“

“But even then, I barely survived that delivery,” Piper said, “Chiron’s right, I don’t think this is just a random occurrence, I think-“

One of the logs in the fireplace burst from the heat, splintering the wood.

“Look, however my daughter turns out, I’m gonna love her,” Jason said.

Chiron put a hand on his shoulder, “I’m not saying that at all, Jason. I just think the future-“

“Yeah? Well, the future’s not now, is it?” Jason didn’t mean to snap, but he could see Leo was getting agitated. If the conversation continued much longer, the fireplace would explode, “Right now, I’m gonna focus on looking after my baby. We can worry about the future- about paying for college, about demigod life- we can worry about it all another time. I’ve spent my whole life worrying about saving the world. Can I please, for once, live normally? Can I put my baby down for a nap and watch vine compilations with my husband and my best friend- who both seem to know all the words to them for some reason? Can you hound me with the future tomorrow? Please?”

Chiron’s eyes twinkled with understanding. He nodded, “Of course, of course, I shouldn’t have put this on you right now. You can go.”

But of course, the future couldn’t wait forever.

The next day, Nico, Will, Percy, Annabeth, Frank, Hazel, Thalia, and Reyna, who had arrived that morning, plus Nyssa and Harley from Hephaestus cabin all crowded around Jason, Leo, and Piper with the baby. Several more onlookers began to approach the gaggle, including Rachel Elizabeth Dare.

“Aww, is that Isabella?” She asked, joining the circle of people around them.

Suddenly, she shuddered, and swooned. She collapsed, and Annabeth caught her. Several campers rushed to her side.

“What’s happening?” Hazel asked.

“A prophecy!” Percy gasped.

Rachel’s eyes began to glow. Green smoke poured out of her mouth. Will found a stool, and lowered her onto it. She sat upright, swaying slightly, like some sort of freaky zombie. Then she raised an arm, and pointed.

Directly at the baby.

She opened her jaw, and began to recite.

“To three of the seven a child is born,

Crest and laurel wreaths adorn

Turn and face Olympus’ might

In sixteen years, her final night”

Pandemonium ensued. Campers hurried around, some running to tell Chiron, some bringing Rachel water, some turning to face them. The world erupted with the sound of a billion questions. Jason began to feel light-headed. He felt Percy’s hand on his shoulder, “Are you-“

He stopped. Amidst the chaos, Leo had crumpled to the floor. He was crouched down with his hands wrapped around his head, rocking backwards and forwards. Jason hurriedly knelt down beside him. Percy rushed off to help Annabeth, who was escorting Piper and the baby out of the crowd.

Several campers formed a circle around Jason and Leo, asking a barrage of questions.

“Give them some space!” A voice yelled. It was Rachel. She got up off her stool, and waved her hands to disperse the congregation. She knelt down, and put a hand on Leo’s shoulder.

“Shoot- I’m so, so, so sorry you guys,” She said to them, “I didn’t mean- I know you don’t- I just-“

“Wha-What did that mean, her f-final night?” Jason stammered.

“I don’t know…” Rachel said, “Prophecies are tricky, it doesn’t necessarily mean… Look, I know that was NOT what you wanted to hear. At all. But we don’t know it was definitely about her!”

“To three of seven a child is born,” Jason recited, “Me, Leo, Piper. Three of the seven half bloods from that other prophecy. You started glowing green as soon as you saw her. You pointed at Isabella.”

“But that doesn’t mean it has anything to do with the last line! A couple Great Prophecies ago, there was this line- “A Hero’s soul cursed blade shall reap”- we all thought Percy was gonna die, but turns out a totally different guy died instead, so it’s fine!”

Leo began to sob.

“No- it’s okay, the guy that died was totally evil. He killed loads of people,” Rachel explained.

Jason wrapped his arms around Leo and cradled him, “Shh, Leo, mi cielo, it’s gonna be okay.”

The thing was, Jason didn’t know if it was gonna be okay. But no matter how terrified he felt, his first instinct was to always comfort Leo.

“Sixteen years…” Leo muttered, “That’s what she said. Sixteen. Just like… Oh Gods…”

“Leo, no-“

“I was right!” Leo cried, “I was right, wasn’t I, Jason? I was cursing her. I told you. I said “If she’s anything like me, in sixteen years we’ll be going to her funeral.” I told you, didn’t I?”

“Leo…”

“It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, amorsito. I know that much. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that whatever happens, you’re not to blame.”

“Yeah, Leo, don’t think that,” Rachel agreed, “This isn’t because of you.”

“Except… I died at Sixteen. And if she’s like me… if she has my powers…”

“That doesn’t make it your fault,” Jason said.

“I don’t believe you,” Leo replied, simply.

“Leo-“

Suddenly, Piper came rushing over, breathless. “Annabeth is watching the baby,” She explained. She sat down next to Rachel. “What… happened? Was that really a prophecy?”

“Afraid so,” Rachel said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to land that on you guys like that. And Leo, it’s not your fault.”

Piper raised an eyebrow, “Is Leo blaming it all on himself, again?”

Jason nodded.

“What’s his excuse this time? “I should’ve preempted this and invented an anti-prophecy device!””

“No it’s “The baby has my powers and therefore will die at sixteen because I died at sixteen!” Which, I have to say, is less plausible than the machine thing,” He turned to Leo, “You don’t control genetics, hermoso. You couldn’t have had a say in what powers she got.”

“But still…”

Piper reached forward, and grabbed Leo’s hand, “This is not your fault, Leo. How many times do we have to tell you that before you start to listen?”

Leo sighed, and said “Okay.” But Jason could see in his eyes that he wasn’t buying it. He would still always believe it was his fault.

The seven of them, Nico, Reyna, Will, Thalia, and Rachel all gathered around the cot in Cabin One.

“So… what do we do?” Frank asked.

“There’s nothing we can do,” Rachel said, sadly, “Thwarting Prophecies is never a good idea.”

Leo glanced at Jason.

No, Jason said, with a glare, I know what you’re thinking, and no. It’s not your fault.

I thwarted a prophecy, Leo seemed to say back with his eyes, And now I’m facing the consequences.

Leo… Jason glanced back. Leo turned away, not wanting to have this conversation any more. Piper shot Jason a look, like she had read the discussion perfectly.

“We can wait, we can hope. And when the time arises…” Rachel trailed off.

“I will fight for my daughter,” Jason said, “Her fate is not set in stone, it never is. We still have choices to make. I don’t know what this prophecy means for my girl, but Gods help me if I don’t go to the ends of the earth to protect her.”

“Yeah!” Leo said, and Jason saw his face harden into a determined grin, “She may have a difficult future, but she has two dads who are both willing to do anything for her.”

“Not to mention her Auntie Piper,” Piper added, stepping forward.

“And me!” Frank said.

“Me too,” Hazel promised.

“We’re in,” Percy announced, his arm around Annabeth’s shoulder, “We’ll see to it that no harm comes to her.”

“Us too,” Nico spoke up, grabbing Will’s hand.

Reyna put a hand on Jason’s shoulder, “She has my full support, understand? I will lend her all of my strength if she needs it.”

“Aww, hell yeah, that’s my niece!” Thalia cried, punching her fist into her palm, “She’s got the most powerful demigods in the world protecting her. If some prophecy wants to hurt her, I’d like to see them try.”

“You guys…” Jason said, addressing the group, “This will be hard. There will be troubles ahead, things we’ve never had to face before…”

He looked around at his friends, all standing, ready to fight. He looked at Leo, the love of his life, who he’d do anything for. He looked at the little girl in the cot, staring up at the thunderclouds in the ceiling of the cabin.

“But with your support, we can make it through this. I can feel it. Things might arise that we might not be able to deal with, but Gods damn us if we don’t try.”

————

Guys...

Should I write a Part 2?

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